Lost
by Bryana
Summary: Lost from the beginning, but with a new character, Carmen. What's her story? Now complete! Rated T for some suggestive content, adult language, themes, and violence.
1. Pilot Part 1

**Okay, so I tried writing a FanFic before, but it didn't get a lot of people, and I myself lost interest in it. But I think I'll keep more steady with this one… All I really did was add in a new character, but the story's the same… Enjoy!!! (Does not include Elliot Maslow from the video game)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN LOST, OKAY? Okay…**

_My eyes jolted open with the shaking of the plane. "Oh, sure," I thought, "Not like I was dreaming or anything. Go on, interrupt my sleep, help yourself." My arm nudged against the man next to me. He looked over at me, as if I'd done it on purpose. "Sorry," I said. He turned away. He was Asian, and he had a woman sitting next to him. I guessed they were married._

_I placed my hands in my lap to avoid nudging him again, and looked down the aisle. I pulled the plane ticket out from the bag that rested under my seat. "16 D" it read, along with the time and date. I put it back down under the seat. The man diagonally across from me said something softly to the man sitting beside him, then got up and walked toward the front of the plane, occasionally looking back at him. I looked down at my hands, trying to mind my own business. There was a man in front of me coughing. It was a subtle cough at first, like he was clearing his throat, and it gradually got louder. I looked up, and to the side, where the man who got up once sat, and I saw him._

_Sawyer. Sawyer Ford was on my plane. Sitting in the row in front of me. I felt words rise to my throat, but I felt like I couldn't breathe, or even open my mouth. I choked on my words for a second, starring at him in disbelief. He beckoned for me to come and sit next to him with his inviting smile. I hesitated, but did. I unbuckled my seat belt, alerting the Asian man next to me that I was leaving. I smiled at him, and crept over to the seat beside Sawyer._

"_Hey," he said. I could barely manage to look away from his face._

"_Hey," I replied. He smiled at me. His hair was darker than it was before. It was still blonde, of course, but now it was more of a dirty blonde. It suited him well. He was wearing loose jeans, and a leather jacket. His hands were tucked into his jacket, as if for a specific reason._

"_So, what are you doing on my plane?" He asked me, with his joking smile. I laughed a little, and raised my hand to my head, brushing my hair back behind my ear._

"_Well, uh, I figured it was time for a move," I said. He laughed softly, trying not to disrupt the sleeping people around him._

"_A move, huh?" He asked. All I could see was his smile. I was so happy to see him, after so long.  
_

"_What are you doing here?" I asked him. His smile seemed to fade a little._

"_I, uh, wanted to visit someone in L.A.," He said. I wanted to trust him, but Sawyer didn't just "visit" people. He was either in trouble, or he was going to be._

"'_Scuze me," a man said, passing us by to the bathrooms. Flight attendants were shortly behind him. The plane then shook, nearly pushing me out of my seat. I'd never been on a plane with so much turbulence._

"_Maybe I should move back to my seat," I said, getting up._

"_Wait," Sawyer said. I sat back down._

"_But what about the guy sitting next to you? I think he'll want his seat back," I said, laughing a little._

"_It doesn't matter, it… listen, kid, will you buckle up?" He said, still whispering. But it wasn't out of respect for the people surrounding him; more like he didn't want people to know something._

"_Sawyer, what did you do?" I asked, more out of fear than concern._

"_Just sit and buckle. Now," He ordered. I did so. "Sawyer wouldn't hurt me, would he?" I thought, but I wasn't so sure. The plane jostled more, and my heart nearly fell out of my chest it was beating so hard._

"_Sawyer… if you did something… you need to tell me," I said, looking at him with more caring eyes now. He looked just as scared as I did._

"_Carmen… I…"_

_

* * *

_My eyes seemed pressed back into my head, and my stomach felt like it was about to fall out of me. I was lying on my stomach. For a moment, I felt like I had lost all my senses. I couldn't see anything but darkness, couldn't hear anything but a high pitch hum. My fingers tingled a little as I felt my soul fall back into my flesh. Something gritty was grinding against my lips. The high pitch hum I heard remained, though, adding into it screams and yells. I moved my arm a little, bending it, and pushing myself up. I pulled my other arm up as well, trying to see something other than the darkness I'd fallen into. My wrists pushed me up, shaking with the nervousness I felt. My eyes crept open only to have a bright light nearly blind me. I looked down at what used to be my darkness, but only to see a beige colored grit- sand. I opened my eyes wider, and shot my head up towards the light. After the blinding sensation passed, I could see the outline of hunks of metal, and soon, I could see the plane. The plane was in multiple pieces. Turbines, seats, luggage, people; everything was spread out in a confusing mess. It finally occurred to me: My plane had crashed.

An explosion came from behind me. I dug my head back into the sand, and covered the back of my head with my hands, praying nothing hit me. Screams were everywhere, yelling other names, calling for help: I could even hear a man speaking a foreign language, possibly the man who sat next to me. I looked up slowly. I could see flaming metal around me, but I was safe. I turned as I saw an obese man helping a woman to sit near me. She was pregnant- very pregnant. I pushed myself onto my knees, trying to see the fullness of the crash. People were all around, bleeding, holding each other, and I realized I could be hurt. I sat on my knees and looked at my hands: they were dirty and a little bloody, but I could see no cuts. I touched my face, hoping to find no injuries. There was a knick right below my hairline, but it wasn't bleeding now. I let out a deep, relieved breath and slowly stood up, using my hands as my safety. As soon as I was on my feet, someone grabbed me and was pulling me away.

"Stop! What are you doing?! Help! Help me! Get off of me!" I screamed, as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me further from my spot. I yanked my arm away from his grasp, and turned around, about to call for help again, to see the obese man and another man running with the pregnant girl towards us. Behind them, the plane wing was falling. The man who had grabbed me before held me around my waist and thrust the two of us to the ground, his body covering half of mine. There was an explosion, and he clutched tighter to me. After a few moments, when things were quieter (and by quieter, I mean all you could hear was screaming), he released his grasp on me, and we looked back at where I used to lay. I would've been dead if not for this man. I looked at his face. He had strong features, and really soft blue eyes, kind of like mine. He was wearing a dirty blue over shirt covering a white shirt and a necklace, and dark jeans. He was scanning me over just as I was him.

"Are you okay?" He yelled over the screams. I couldn't manage to pull the words out from my throat, so I nodded. "I'm sorry I scared you."

"It's alright," I managed to say.

"Listen, do you have a pen?" He asked, sitting up.

"What?" I said, rolling over onto my back.

"Do you have a pen? Like you write with?" He asked me. I shook my head. He stood up and ran off in the other direction.

"Wait!" I yelled, but he was already gone, too far away to hear me. I laid on my back for a second, taking deep breaths, then sat up. I looked around. People weren't yelling so much now. I stood up slowly, half expecting someone else to whisk me away from peril. Nobody came. I walked around, my feet pulsing with the rest of my aching body. A man grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"Am I, am I okay?" He asked me, frantic for help. He looked more afraid than I did. I nodded and kept walking. I kept walking forward. I saw a crying woman, relying on the arms of a stranger for support. I saw a man, screaming the name 'Walt' repeatedly. I saw the man I sat next to, hugging the woman who was sitting next to him. And I saw the man that had saved me hugging a woman about his age who was sobbing in his arms. Then I saw him. He was a little cut up, but not too out of shape. He was leaning against what used to be part of a turbine, but was now scrap metal. I ran over to him.

"Sawyer!" I yelled as I approached him. He looked over at me, his calm eyes not mentioning the danger we were surrounded by. I reached him finally, a little out of breath. "Are you… are you okay?" I asked him, though I knew he was fine. He nodded.

"How you doin', Sandiego?" He asked. I thought it was odd of him to pick now as the time to joke around, but I nodded.

"Okay," I said. Sawyer reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled one out and was about to light it. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"What does it look like, pumpkin? I'm smoking," He said.

"Sawyer, you were just in a plane crash," I said, hoping it would mean something to him. He just stared at me. I took the cigarette from his hand and threw it down in the dirt, smothering it with my foot.

"Hey… what the hell did you do that for?" He asked. I shook my head and walked away from him. I wanted to stay with him. If not for my relationship with him, then for the feeling of security I had when I was with him. But I couldn't… other things needed to be done. And I had to figure out what to do when rescue got here…

I sat down in the sand by the fire. I wasn't cold, but I knew that I would be sooner or later. I looked over and saw the man that had saved me earlier when the plane wing exploded. I thought about thanking him, but I didn't know if I should. Is that something you thank someone for? I wasn't sure if I should, but I got up anyway, and slowly walked towards him. He was sitting alone by one of the fires, leaning on one arm and eating a chocolate bar. I walked up next to him, and he looked up at me.

"Do you, um, mind if I sit with you?" I asked. He sat up a little, making room for me. I smiled as a thank you and sat down beside him. I sat in silence for a moment, thinking about what I should say. But I suppose there was only one thing I could say.

"Thank you," I said. He looked at me. His expression told me that he knew what I was talking about, but he would wait for clarification. "For helping me earlier. It was really… noble. And brave." I smiled at him. He smiled back, and looked at the fire.

"Anyone would've done it," he said. I shook my head, and brought my knees to my chest.

"No, they wouldn't," I said. We sat in silence for a moment. I looked over and saw Sawyer sit down where I was a moment ago. I didn't want to sit with him, but I didn't want to sit with this man I didn't know either. "Thanks," I said again, standing up. I started towards Sawyer, but the man stopped me.

"Wait," He said. I turned around. He grabbed something from behind his back. It was another chocolate bar. "Do you wanna sit with me? I mean... you don't have to go," He asked. I smiled at him, and walked back over, sitting down beside him. I took the candy bar from him hesitantly, still not wanting to take candy from strangers. I scanned the bar: it was an Apollo bar. I hadn't had many of those, but chocolate was chocolate. I broke the plastic between my fingers and peeled it away. I took a small bite, as if to avoid poison. It tasted good.

"I'm Boone," he said. I smiled at him. I wasn't sure I wanted to give him my name. As soon as we got rescued, we'd never see each other again, though, so I figured there was no harm in it.

"Carmen," I replied. The night air seemed so thin, and clean. We were in the middle of nowhere, and it was obvious. "Are you…" I started. Boone looked over at me, "Are you alright?" He smiled at me. He had a really gentle and inviting smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay," He said. We sat together, just staring at each other for a minute, then abruptly turning away, as we realized the silence was somewhat awkward.

"Was, uh, was anyone on the plane with you?" He asked me. The expression on his face looked like he didn't want to know the answer, but was obligated to.

"No," I said. "I was flying alone." I could've said I knew Sawyer, but I didn't really want to move, and didn't think it would be smart to stick with Sawyer the whole time. Even though there were long periods of silence, I felt comfortable next to Boone. It may have been because he saved my life, but he was just a nice, and inviting person.

"What about you?" I replied. He looked at me, confused at my question. "Was anyone on the plane with you?" He smiled, and laughed a bit.

"Oh! Yeah, um, my sister, Shannon," he said, pointing to a woman sitting probably 20 feet from us. She was wearing a skirt and a pink jacket, and she had blonde hair about my length. But none of that caught my attention.

"Is she giving herself a pedicure?" I asked in disbelief.

"Uh, yeah," He said, smiling. I laughed with him. We sat together for what was probably five minutes or so, just smiling, and looking at the fire. I would've been fine to stay there the rest of the night. That is, until Shannon came over.

"Sorry to break up your little social, Boone, but when's the rescue gonna get here? They're taking a long time," She whined. She shifted her eyes and noticed me.

"Oh, this is…"

"Carmen," I answered for him, outstretching my hand. She sat down in front of us. Now I began to feel unwelcome.

"Well, thank you for the chocolate bar," I told Boone. He looked at me with eyes that asked me to stay; I guess he didn't want to be alone with his sister. "But I should probably leave you guys alone." I stood up and walked away. Away from Boone, away from Shannon, and away from Sawyer. I walked towards the jungle, and sat down. No one was out as far as me. I kind of wanted to be alone. I held my knees to my chest, and tucked my chin between them. Tears were climbing up my throat, but I forced them down, refusing to cry. I sat there for a moment, hoping a helicopter would fly over my head, but also that it would never come…

Something made a noise. I looked up at the jungle before me. Everyone was coming towards me. I stood up quickly. The trees waved as something had hit them. I walked backwards a little, and ran into someone. Sawyer stood behind me. I watched for this thing. People crowded around me, looking for it. At least I wasn't the only one. I nervously looked around, seeing Boone come up, too. I was surrounded by survivors. That thing made a noise to the right, and I snapped my head around. Then I heard it on the left, and followed the wave of turning heads towards it. And then it was gone, disappearing back into the jungle. A man to my left said the only thing I was thinking, and had been thinking all day.

"Terrific."

* * *

I woke up quickly. It was already bright outside. A group was congregating to my side. I got up and joined them.

"What was that thing?" People asked. They were talking about the thing from last night.

"That sound that it made, I keep thinking there was something familiar about it…" A Black woman said.

"Lady, where are you from?" Shannon asked.

"The Bronx," The woman continued. People kept talking, but I didn't want to find out what it was. I walked down away from them, to the water's edge. I looked out at the ocean.

"Hey," Someone said behind me. I turned around. It was Boone.

"Hey," I replied.

"Did you want to come sit with me?" He asked. I got up and walked towards him. We continued walking towards a small group. Shannon was there, but so were a few other people. We sat down. I pretended to pay attention, but kept thinking about Sawyer. I hadn't seen him yet today. A man crept up next to Shannon and sat down.

"So, I was just looking in the fuselage… it's pretty grim in there. You think we should do something about the, uh… b-o-d-y-s?" He asked.

"What are you spelling man, bodies?" A black man asked.

"B-o-d-i-e-s," his son said. They argued for a second about it, and then a man came up next to Boone.

"We're going to go out and look for the cockpit, see if we can find a transceiver to send out a distress signal to help the rescue team," He said. He started talking to Boone, giving him instructions on what to do to help those who were injured. He left with another man from our group.

"Who's that?" I asked Boone.

"Him?" He asked, pointing back to the man. I nodded. "Name's Jack. He's a doctor." I nodded.

We sat a little longer, talking about little nothings. The Middle-Eastern man sitting next to Boone got up and left eventually, as did Shannon. I looked at the little boy, playing with a twig in the sand.

"What's your name?" I asked him. He looked up at me, and to his father, then back at me.

"Walt," He replied, going back to his game in the sand.

"Walt, huh?" I repeated. He nodded, not bothering to look back up at me. "I'm Carmen." He didn't really care. I smiled, and waited for someone to change the subject. But it started raining. And it was raining hard. I ran around, looking for shelter. I eventually found it under a plane wing, with about five other people. One of them was the pregnant woman.

"How's your baby?" I asked her. She looked kind of nervous about talking about it.

"Alright," She answered. She had a very heavy Australian accent. "I'm Claire," she said.

"Carmen." We stood there for a moment in our dry space. Claire turned around quickly and looked at the Jungle. I looked back with her. The trees were waving and shaking. That thing was there.

"There it is again," Claire said.

"Oh my God," A woman said behind us. Jack was out there. I ran out from the safety of our dry space.

"Boone!" I yelled, looking for someone who could help me. "Boone!" I screamed louder.

"Over here!" He shouted back. I turned around, and headed towards a group holding something above their heads to keep dry. I ran over to him.

"That thing is in the jungle again!" I yelled.

"What?!" He asked, not hearing me over the sound of the rain pounding around us.

"That thing, from last night, it's out there again!" I yelled. He looked out at the jungle. "Boone, the doctor's out there!" I yelled. He stood there for a minute, contemplating what to do.

"We can't go out there, Carmen," He said.

"What? Why not?!" I yelled back.

"Because we don't know where they are! We don't know where that thing is! Or even what it is! We can't risk our lives to try to save theirs!" He yelled. I wanted to argue, but there was nothing I could say. I stormed away from him. He called after me, but I just kept going back to where Claire was. When I got under the safety of the wing, I stood and crossed my arms, waiting for the rain to stop.


	2. Pilot Part 2

Okay, so here's chapter two. By the way, I will do flashbacks for Carmen, but only when they seem fitting- I've already got them all planned out.

DISCLAIMER: LOST OWNS ME, BUT I DO NOT OWN LOST

I looked over the suitcases, all varying in size and color, length and width. I reached for one that looked heavy. I knew it would be harder for me to carry, but the heavier, the more in it. I picked it up, it pulling me further to the ground with its weight. I grasped the bottom of the bag to get a better grip.

"You need help?" A man asked behind me. Boone had taken off his blue over-shirt, and was now in a white tee, his necklace dangling over his shirt.

"Yeah," I said, offering him the bag. He took it from me, falling a little with it's weight. We walked together over to the congregation of suitcases. He looked over at someone and placed his hands on his hips. I looked over. His sister Shannon was in a bikini, trying to tan. He shook his head.

"Be right back," he said, walking over towards Shannon. I smiled and laughed a bit. I knelt down over the bag and opened it up. I was right; the suitcase nearly exploded it was so full. I reached in, going through the clothes. The shirts were all bigger: men's most likely. I put them down in piles: one for reasonable clothing for our hot weather, consisting of short sleeve shirts and shorts, and another for unreasonable clothing, like long sleeved shirts. Boone came back over to me, looking kind of annoyed.

"You okay?" I asked. He smiled.

"Shannon, she's… difficult," He replied with a laugh. We got up and started to get another bag. I decided that I should tell Boone I knew Sawyer, just to be honest with him. I really liked him, and I wanted to talk to Sawyer again.

"Um, can I tell you something?" I asked him as he grabbed a suitcase from the sand.

"Uh, yeah, go ahead," he said. I smiled and sighed.

"Um, you know when I said I didn't know anyone on the plane?" He looked over to me. "I lied." We walked a little further.

"Who did you…"

"Sawyer!" I screamed. Sawyer was screaming at a Middle Eastern man, and had just punched him. I sprinted towards the mob that was watching them fight, doing absolutely nothing. What was wrong with them?

"Carmen, wait!" I heard Boone yell for me. He wasn't far behind me. I had almost reached them when Boone grabbed me and held me back.

"Sawyer, stop it!" I screamed. No one did anything. "Stop!" I screamed again. All of a sudden, the doctor came running in, and pulled Sawyer off of the Middle Eastern man. A Black man stepped in to help with the other man.

"What's going on?!" Jack demanded.

"Look, my kid found these in the jungle," The Black man said.

"And this guy was sitting in the back row of business class the whole flight, hands folded under the blanket. And for some reason, just pointing this out, the guy I saw next to him didn't make it," Sawyer said. I looked down at my feet.

I didn't once see Sawyer's hands.

They were hidden away the whole time.

Sawyer never touched my arm, or anything.

He was hiding his hands.

He was trying to cover up himself using a Middle Eastern man.

"Stop!" A woman screamed. Everyone was silent. She said something about a transceiver, and that it was broken. The Middle Eastern man said he could help.

"Oh great! Perfect! Let's trust this guy!" Sawyer yelled. Someone said something in the back, but I couldn't hear him.

"Shut up, Lard-o!" Sawyer said.

"Whoa!" I said, about to say something else. But Jack got in his face. Sawyer walked off. I jerked away from Boone and walked the other way. I was furious- so mad I couldn't see straight. I wanted to apologize to the Middle Eastern man. I had talked with him yesterday. I saw him working along the beach, talking to the overweight man that helped Claire earlier. I walked over to him.

"Um, hi," I said, interrupting what sounded like silence, but looked like a conversation. The man looked over at me, with accusing eyes. "I wanted to, um, apologize…" He looked even more confused. "About Sawyer, the man you fought with. He's not normally… like… that…" I said. _What am I saying? He always is and has been a jack ass. _The man smiled a little. I was going to turn and walk away.

"What is your name?" He asked me.

"Carmen," I replied softly. He smiled wider.

"I am Sayid," He said.

"Hurley," The overweight man said. I smiled at him.

"Do you believe it?" Sayid asked me.

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you believe that I crashed our plane?" He asked. He and Hurley stared at me, waiting for a reply.

"No," I said. But they didn't seem convinced. "No, I don't think you had anything to do with it." He smiled.

"Then it appears we are on the same side."

I walked away from him, smiling. I wasn't really sure of that: he may have had something to do with the plane crash, but Sawyer might've, too.

--

I put my hair up in a ponytail and walked towards Sayid.

"Did you fix it?" I asked him. He smiled at me.

"Yes, but we don't have a signal yet. We need to climb higher," He said, looking up at the mountain.

"Can I come with?" I asked. He looked at me. I could tell he wanted to say no because of my age. "I'm a really good climber, and I'm really tired of sorting through suitcases. He smiled.

"Find a backpack, and get a water bottle. And something for night, in case you get cold," He said. I smiled. He looked back at the transceiver.

"Thanks," I said. He looked up at me. I turned and walked the other way. I went to the stack of backpacks that were in with the suitcases. I picked one up, and grabbed two water bottles from the serving tray from the plane. I ran over towards Sayid, who was talking to the brown haired woman who came back with Jack.

"Hey," I said. The woman looked at me, and then back at Sayid.

"Um, I'm not sure if you should…"

"It's fine, Kate. She'll be alright," Sayid said.

"Nice to meet you, Kate, I'm Carmen," I said, forcing a handshake. She smiled after a moment.

"I'd like to come with you." Shannon was standing between all of us. She was wearing a pink tank top and shorts, and her face looked like she'd been crying.

"She's not going," Boone stepped in. They bickered for a moment, while Sayid, Kate and I stared, not knowing whether to step in and settle the argument for them, or just stand and watch, and quietly laugh to ourselves.

"I'm coming with you," Shannon insisted.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea…" Kate started.

"What are you, two years older than me? Please," She said. A man walked up beside her. "You're going, aren't you?"

"Yeah, are you?" He asked, seeming to be interested for other reasons.

"Yep."

"Yep, I'm definitely going…" He guaranteed. We walked off. I slipped the straps of the backpack over my shoulders and followed closely behind Kate.

"Hey," Boone said, coming up beside me.

"Hey, decided to take a walk with me?" I asked jokingly. He laughed.

"Like I said, she's…"

Sawyer passed us.

"Decided to join us," Kate said more than asked.

"I'm a complicated guy, sweetheart," He said.

"Difficult," I finished.

--

Climbing the mountain was a little harder than I assumed. We held on to branches and dirt, hoping nothing would slip. I put my foot on a rock that looked well nestled in the ground, and launched myself upwards towards the top of the cliff. I nearly slipped, and would've fallen, if Sawyer didn't grab my arm. He pulled me up, helping me over the ledge. I crawled over the edge.

"Is it more difficult than you thought?" Sayid asked, offering a hand to pull me up. I laughed, and grabbed on to it. I stood up, and we continued forward. I was walking next to the one man I didn't know too well.

"Hey," he said. I looked over at him and smiled.

"Hey." We walked for a little while. He started humming some song. It sounded familiar, but I didn't know where I'd heard it.

"Um, we haven't met. I'm Carmen," I said, smiling at him. He stopped humming.

"Charlie." And then he started humming again. It was getting really annoying.

--

We were walking through some really tall grass, surrounded by palm trees.

"Okay, wide open space! We should check the radio, see if we're good," Sawyer demanded. Sayid and him argued for a moment. We all stopped, and I was about to scream at Sawyer when Sayid did.

"If I just check, we might not have any batteries left to…"

Something growled. It was off in the grass in front of us. I couldn't see it, but it kept making noises. It was creeping around us.

"Something's coming," Kate said. We all stared at the grass, as if it were surrounding us. I didn't want to move, for fear that it would attract attention to myself.

"It's coming towards us, I think," Charlie said. I looked over at Sawyer, scared, and afraid. He had a strong face, like he was ready for what was coming. Boone held onto Shannon's arm, as if ready to push her away and sacrifice himself for her.

"Come on, let's move," Kate said. We all started running off in the direction we came, Shannon screaming like murder.

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed. I turned around, and saw Sawyer standing back there, just staring at the thing running towards him. I ran back for him.

"Carmen!" Boone screamed after me, but he had his hands full with Shannon. I reached Sawyer finally.

"Sawyer, come on!" I yelled. He pulled a gun out of his bag pocket, and started shooting at it. I watched intently. He shot one, two, three shots. It was still running at us. He kept shooting until it jumped at us. I screamed, and leaned backwards, waiting to be killed by this white blur, but it fell in front of us. I ran and grabbed onto Sawyer.

"That… that's a big bear," Shannon said. I stared at it. The group was talking a little. Kate went forward towards it.

"Guys, this isn't just a bear… it's a Polar bear."

The group kept arguing about it, thinking about how a polar bear could be in the Mid-Pacific, and how it got there. I was quiet... I didn't know what to say. Everything I had learned had, in the course of the past few days, contradicted itself. Planes crashing, no rescue, I lived, polar bears in the Pacific.

"Where did that come from?" Kate asked.

"Probably bear village. How the hell do I know?" Sawyer asked.

"Not the bear, the gun." I turned around and looked at Sawyer. How could he have a gun here? He looked to me as if I'd back him up, but I stood with a still, anxious face. He looked betrayed.

"I got it off one of the bodies."

"One of the bodies," Sayid repeated. Sawyer said it was an Air Marshall. Air Marshalls would take prisoners on planes. He_ found_ a Marshall…

"I know who you are," Sayid said. "You're the prisoner."

"I'm the what?" Sawyer asked nastily.

"You found a gun on a U.S. Marshall? Yes, I believe you did. You know where he was because you were the one he was bringing back to the states. Those handcuffs were on you. That's who you are, you son of a bitch." Kate grabbed the gun from Sawyer and pointed it at him.

"Stop!" I said, but Boone held me back.

"Does anybody know how to use a gun?" She asked.

"Don't you just pull the trigger?" Charlie asked.

"Don't use the gun," Sayid said.

"I wanna take it apart," She said. Boone lightened his grip on me, and I yanked my arm away. I didn't like how Boone believed he could just control me. He had only known me a few days. Sayid gave her instructions to take the gun apart, and she gave the bullets to Sayid, and the gun back to Sawyer. I pulled away and sat closer to the bear.

--

We kept hiking. And hiking. And hiking. And then we hiked some more. I walked beside Sayid. I was unsure of Sawyer, and I felt like Boone was crossing a line, pulling me away from fights that I want to help end. I figured that was my right, and he was not at liberty to stop me.

"Oh, now's a good time to check the radio. Not before, but now!" Sawyer complained. I looked over at Sayid, who was turning knobs on the little phone.

"We're up higher," Sayid answered.

"Yes, we are!" I sighed.

Sayid stopped behind me. I turned around.

"Hey, we've got a bar!" I ran back to him and got in close to him. "Mayday, mayday!" He yelled into the phone, but it screamed back at him.

"What's that, what would do that?" Kate asked.

"Feedback… I don't know," Sayid answered trying to figure out the phone.

"I'll tell what would do that, this guy not fixing a radio right, thing doesn't even work," Sawyer complained.

"No, no, no, it's not broken… we can't transmit because something's already transmitting…"

"What?"

"Transmitting from where?"

"Somewhere close, the signal's strong," Sayid answered.

"Close!" Charlie smiled, "You mean here on the island close! That's fantastic!"

"Maybe it's other survivors…" Boone thought.

"From our plane? How…"

I remained silent. I didn't know what to say, I was in shock. I was happy that I might get to leave this place and go home, but I didn't want anyone to find me. And I knew they would.

"Sawyer, shut up!" Kate said. I hadn't been paying attention, I didn't know what he said. Probably something unnecessarily rude.

"It's the rescue crew, it has to be…" Charlie thought. A woman's voice came onto the radio. "That's French! The French are coming! I've never been so happy they're the French!" We all laughed, excited and nervous.

"I never took French, what is she saying?" Kate asked.

"Does anyone speak French?" Sayid asked. I didn't know any useful language besides English. I only learned a little Latin, dead for a reason.

"She does," Boone pointed to Shannon.

"No, I don't! What?" She yelled.

"What are you talking about, you spent a year in Paris!"

"Drinking, not studying!"

A deep voice came on, saying large words I didn't understand, and then a long number.

"Okay… what's that?" Charlie asked.

"No, no, no, no, no…" Sayid cried.

"No, no, no what?"

"The batteries are dying!"

My head hurt from everyone yelling. I wished I hadn't come, or that we'd never found the phone in the first place.

"It's… it's repeating," Shannon said. Everyone went silent.

"She's right… it's a loop. 'Interation'… the it's repeating the same message…the next number will end… 533." We all listen to the male voice, ending with '533.'

"Does anyone know what the hell he's talking about?" Sawyer yelled.

"It's a running count of the number of time the message has repeated!" He yelled at Sawyer. "It's roughly thirty seconds long, so… if you…"

"Don't forget to carry the one, chief," Sawyer said.

"She's saying… Please. She's saying, Please help me, please someone come…" Shannon started.

"Or she's not! You don't even speak French!" Sawyer yelled.

"Let her listen!"

"Shut up man!"

Shannon closed her eyes for a moment.

"I'm alone now… I'm on the island alone… please someone come… the others, they're… they're dead. It killed them… it killed them all…"

Shannon pulled the phone away from her ear.

"That was good," Boone said. I stared down at the grass by Kate's feet. I felt like I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't feel…

"Sixteen years," Sayid said. I looked up at him.

"What?" Sawyer asked him.

"Sixteen years… and five months, that's the count…"

Boone was confused. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The interations… it's a distress call. A plea for help, a mayday. If the counter's right… it's been playing, over and over… for sixteen years," Sayid said. I couldn't move. I felt like I was rooted to the ground, paralyzed.

"Someone else… was stranded here?" Boone asked. I couldn't breathe.

"Maybe someone came for them," Kate hoped.

"If someone came, why's it still playing?" Sawyer said, crushing any hopes we might've had.

No one said a thing. No one moved. Not a sound. Surrounding us was the silence of what had happened. The silence of lost hope. The silence crushed dreams. The silence of relief. The silence of confusion.

"Guys," Charlie said, "Where are we?"


	3. Tabula Rasa

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Lost…

We continued walking down the mountain, the high grass poking at our knees. I hadn't said a word since we heard the transmission from the French woman. I didn't feel like there was anything I could say.

"It's getting dark," Boone said.

"Then pick up the pace." Sawyer was pissing off all of us.

"Dick."

"Little louder?"

"We should make camp," Sayid said, slipping the straps of his backpack off of his shoulders. I stopped. I didn't want to stay in the woods, but I knew I didn't want to walk through them in the dark.

"What, here?" Shannon asked.

"I'm not stopping. Ya'll can have a nice cookout," Sawyer said, continuing past us.

"Excellent, walk through the jungle in the dark," Sayid answered.

"If you're so worried, why don't you give me my clip back?" Sawyer smiled, pulling the gun out from the back of his jeans.

"Put your gun back in your pants, Sawyer," Kate snapped. "Sayid's right, we keep walking, and we're not gonna make it back to the beach."

"Yeah, why's that?" Sawyer asked. Kate's face went from confrontational to frightened in under a second.

"Trust me."

We were all sitting around the fire, silent for what seemed like ages. I wanted to be back on the beach with everyone else. Nothing bad happened there… well, other than the actual crash. Sayid was reenacting the plane crash for us.

"The pilot said we were a thousand miles off course," Kate said. Sayid buried the flaming stick he was using as a plane in the grass, silencing the fire. I looked down at my sneakers, unable to say anything. I felt like my lips were sewn together.

"Okay, really enjoyed the puppet show, fantastic. But we're stuck in the middle of nowhere. How 'bout we talk about that other thing. You know, transmission Abdul picked up on his little radio. Transmission that said 'they're all dead.' Transmission's been on a loop for, how long was it, Freckles?" He asked, looking at Kate.

"Sixteen years," She added, rolling her eyes.

"Right. Let's talk about that." For the first time in what seemed like days, I wasn't the only one silent. Only the chirping of a cricket and the popping of the fire could be heard.

"Well," Boone started, always wanting to put in his two cents, "We have to tell them when we get back…"

"Tell them what exactly?" Shannon snapped.

"What we heard…"

"You didn't hear anything, I'm not a stupid translator…"

"No one's going to tell them anything," Sayid said over the bickering siblings. "To relay what we heard, without fully understanding it, would cause a panic. If we tell them what we know, we take away their hope. And hope… is a very dangerous thing to lose."

"So we lie," Kate answered. Everyone was silent. I felt everyone else's thoughts pulsing around me. How can we lie, what do we say, I can't… I didn't mind it so much. I wasn't talking much anymore, anyway. We sat in the quiet scenery. I couldn't stand it more than the three minutes that I sat there.

"I'm going to sleep," I said. Everyone looked up at me, as if I'd never spoken before. They all looked at me with pity and sympathy in their eyes. I guess they didn't realize that I was younger and knew what was going on. Somehow, that was bad in their opinion. I was glad I knew we had no rescue, but sad to hear it. I put my backpack under my head and lay down. My eyes were still wide open, and I was still wide awake, but I didn't want to be involved in the conversation. No one else said anything. I could occasionally feel someone's eyes studying me, knowing I wasn't asleep. I closed my eyes and prayed for them to go away. Eventually, people started lying down. Sayid waited until the fire died, and then I heard him lay down. I was wide awake. I looked up at the woods to my left. I thought I saw a shadow move over the tree tops, but before I had time to look again, I was asleep.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Sayid asked. I jumped up, seeing everyone around me climbing to their feet in a hurry. I stood up and brushed the hair out of my face. Boone stood before Sayid, holding the gun.

"Standing guard. You heard what they said is out there…"

"You took my gun off me, boy?" Sawyer complained, probably more upset he wasn't first to wake than the fact that someone took his gun.

"Please, you've never even held a gun, he doesn't believe in guns! He goes on marches!" Shannon explained.

"I don't go on marches!"

"Give it back to me."

"Oh yeah, give it to Aljazeera. He'll protect us…"

"Aljazeera's a network…"

"I'll keep the damn gun…"

"We should give it to her!" Shannon said, pointing to Kate. We all whipped our heads around. She had a very innocent, yet somewhat guilty look to her face.

"Yeah, Kate should hold the gun," Charlie said.

"Fine with me," Sayid added. Boone fidgeted, not wanting to lose the battle. "Well?" He looked up at Sayid, then to me, looking for some kind of support. I hadn't said a thing, and I wasn't about to say anything now. Boone slowly ambled over to Kate, slowly handing her the gun. Kate tucked it into the back of her jeans, and walked back to her sleeping place. I went back to mine, not wanting to stay up and fight any longer. I closed my eyes, knowing I wouldn't fall back asleep, but wanting to.

* * *

"Alright, we're almost there," Sayid said, turning to face us. "I will make the general announcement, if that is alright." We nodded, and pushed away the branches. We stepped back on to the safety of the sand, cushioning our feet. People ran over to us, asking us how things went. No one came up to me, and I was glad. I still felt mute. We walked over towards the fuselage. Sayid climbed up on a wing, and started the announcement. I wasn't listening. Kate walked away from us during his announcement towards Jack, and they walked off together.

"Think she's tellin' him about the transmission?" Boone leaned over to my ear. I looked at him, with my lips still glued together, then walked away. I figured I'd better make a bed for myself. I walked over to an area in the middle of the sand, under a piece of plane lodged into the sand, not wanting to be alone, or by the jungle. I put down my backpack and looked around. Other people were using airplane blankets and pillows. I walked over to the fuselage and grabbed a pillow and blanket lying close to it. I stopped and looked in. Bodies still lied around in there, wanting a different burial, but me being unable to give it to them. I walked away quickly, as if one of them were chasing me. I put them down next to my bag, and looked back at the fuselage. I needed to use something to sleep on. The seats would work pretty good, if I could just get some over to my spot. I walked over to the fuselage, finding a pair of seats lying sideways on the ground. I tilted it sideways, and let it fall on the ground in front of me. I grabbed an armrest and pulled. It was heavy… very heavy. I pulled it about half a foot with each tug.

"Need a hand?" Sawyer asked from behind me. I turned around to face him. He had that smug smile on again.

"No thanks," I said, turning back to the chair, and tugging at it. "I'm perfectly…"

Sawyer grabbed the seat from around the top and picked it up, pushing it atop his knees. He walked ahead of me, heading for where my bag was. He must have seen me there a moment ago. He sat the seat down with a sigh, and snapped his neck to the side, blowing away his hair.

"Thanks," I said. He smiled.

"Was that so hard?" He laughed. I kept my face solid and serious, not to spite him, but because I didn't feel too happy lately. He slowly realized I wasn't going to get happy, and stopped smiling. I turned back to my chair, and heard him slowly walk away. I sighed. It's not that I didn't like Sawyer, I loved him, it's just that he was… difficult.

I looked around for Boone. I didn't know why, but I wanted to be with him. He was walking side by side with his sister, arguing about something. All of a sudden, I didn't want him anymore. I walked to my seat. I figured I'd want one of the armrests to go under my pillow, but I'd want the other gone. I put one leg up on the seat, and held the back of the chair with my hand. I kicked at the arm rest, hurting my leg and foot more than the armrest. After a few kicks, the armrest popped off, taking my leg with it. I pulled my leg back, and put it on the ground. I walked around, and tore it off the rest of the way.

"Oh," Someone said behind me. I turned to see Sayid, standing beside a seat and holding a tarp under his arm.

"I'm sorry, did you want this spot…"

"No, no, no," Sayid said, laughing. "I brought this for you. I wanted to talk to you, and I figured it was a good offering." I laughed a little.

"An offering? Is that a foreign thing? You need to offer someone something to talk to them?" I said. He smiled. "I'll take it," I said. He smiled wider, and I helped him put it beside my other seat. He helped me to kick off the armrest of the one.

"I wanted to… to ask you about our hike," He said. I looked over at him, knowing what he was going to say, but not wanting to jump ahead of him. "I don't have much time, I need to help put up tarps for water, but… are you alright?" He asked. I thought the question would be a little more complicated than that. I looked down at the armrest we'd kicked onto the ground.

"Yeah," I hesitated. "Yeah… I'm fine." He looked at me, concerned. I forced a smile to satisfy him. He smiled back.

"Alright," He finished. He smiled, and walked off, leaving the tarp on the ground with some twine. I guessed I was supposed to tie it up over my bed. I walked out over towards the jungle.

* * *

I stepped back. I had tied the tarp to four large posts, or sticks, that I stuck into the sand around my space, and had laid a bunch of palm tree leaves leaning against the top of my shelter on the back side. I pushed my bag against my new double bed and grabbed my pillow and blanket. I put my pillow at the top, laying it down flat on the seat, and my blanket below it. When I unfurled my blanket, something fell out. I put the blanket down at the foot of the seats, and went over to the small object. I picked it up- it was a small, orange bottle with the word Amoxicillin printed on the bottom. I walked out of my little space and over to the tent where the doctor was, hoping it would be helpful. I pushed aside a tarp he was using as a roof. The doctor was there, and stared wide-eyed at me, wondering what I might be there for. I looked down. The man he was helping was lying there. He looked kind of yellow, and his wound still had a long way to go to heal… it actually looked infected. I looked back up at Jack, who was staring at the man with me, biting his lip.

"I, uh… I found this in when I was setting up a bed… I was wondering if you could use it." I handed him the bottle of Amoxicillin, and he looked it over. He nodded slowly, and smiled as he looked back up at me.

"Yeah, I can. Thanks," He said. I smiled back at him. He moved to put it somewhere, and I moved around to the other side of the man to get a better look at him, and kneeled down. Jack stood behind me.

"The wound… it's infected," I said. I knew that he knew, I just wanted him to know that I knew. If that makes any sense…

"Yeah… it is," he responded, an odd sound to his voice. "How did you know that?"

"My mom… she was a nurse. I spent a lot of my time in the ER at the hospital she worked at, visiting patients and everything. I know a little bit," I said. I stood up and turned to Jack. "You know, if I can help you with him in anyway, I'd be glad to." He nodded slowly.

"Will you pass out at the sight of blood?" He asked.

"What? No… why?" I wondered.

He laughed a little. "Just wondering."

I laughed back. "So… anything I can do now? Or is it more of a 'call me when you need me' job?" I asked.

"Well, right now, his body's still in some shock. Someone might need to stay with him for when he wakes up, but that should be it… well, I should get some water. You don't have to watch him now… I need to organize stuff here," He said. I nodded back at him.

"Okay. Well, call me if you need me, alright?" He nodded back at me. I stepped over the man, and walked out of the tent. That's when I realized it was raining outside. I ran quickly over to my new home, seeing Kate wandering over to Jack's tent. I stood under my tarp and watched Kate. She looked very suspicious… I didn't feel so secure about the way she was going over there. She looked really edgy. I turned and saw Jack, getting water. I knew Kate was headed for his tent… and I didn't feel too good about it. I crossed my arms over my chest and slowly stepped out from under the safety of my new home. I slowly walked over to Jack's tent, not wanting to find anything bad, but also not wanting something to happen without my attempt to stop it. I hesitated outside of Jack's tent. Kate was already 

inside. Did I really want to interfere? I mean, I was one of the youngest survivors of the crash… no one would really want to hear my opinion about anything.

It was too late. I heard Kate inside: she gasped, and I heard grunts. Either I was about to save someone's life, or it would be really awkward. I moved aside the tarp that was Jack's door. The man had his hands wrapped around Kate's neck, forcing her to the ground.

"Ja… Jack!" I screamed. Jack turned around and saw me. He ran over to me, pumping his arms and water flying from the water bottles he just filled. I went into the tent and around the man, trying to pull him off of Kate. Jack came in and dropped his water bottle.

"Damn it!" He yelled, pulling the man off of Kate. He got the man off of her much faster than I could alone. I let him be and went to Kate, putting her head up a little as she struggled to breath, coughing all the way.

"Breathe! Come on!" Jack yelled for the man. He passed out… he was in shock. Jack looked back at me and Kate. "What did you do?" He asked Kate. She sat up a little.

"I was just checking to see if he was…"

Jack ignored her and shook her head, taking out his flashlight and looking into the man's eyes.

"Is he… okay?" Kate asked. Jack looked back at her, as if he knew something I didn't. He stared in her direction for a minute, looking as if he were about to blow up with anger. I waited for it… but he never yelled. He looked back down at the man.

"He's not responding to any antibiotics, he's bleeding internally, his abdomens rigid, and his fever's pushing 104…" Jack hesitated. I moved away from Kate and sat next to the man on the opposite side of Jack. He looked up at me quickly, then back down, as if he didn't want to see my face for some reason. "He needs water." He got up and grabbed the water bottle he had dropped, going back out into the storm. Kate followed, but I stayed with the man. He started to slowly shake his head, mumbling quietly.

"It's alright," I reassured him. He opened his eyes briefly and shut them as soon as he saw me. "It's okay… me and Jack… we're going to help you." He kept mumbling. "What? I can't hear you?" I asked him.

"She's dangerous…" I heard him say, and he mumbled softer again. I looked around. He was talking about Kate.

"I don't think she was trying to hurt you…" I tried to say.

"Look… on the chair… by your head…" He said slowly, trying hard to catch his breath in between words. I looked up at the airplane seat by my head. There was a badge… a police badge… and a folded up piece of paper on it. I let me weight go back on my knees and picked it up. I slowly unfolded it, afraid of what I might find. It unfolded the rest of the way by itself, it seemed. I drew in my breath.

"Harrison Valley Police. 961136."

Kate's mug shot.

I dropped the piece of paper like it was a dangerous animal, ready to bite me at any moment. I looked back down at the man… the marshal… and backed away. I moved aside the tarp and saw Jack walking away from Kate, and Kate looking hurt, even scared. I wanted to say something to Jack, but no words would come to mind. I walked out the other side of the tent and went back to my own… I would rather be anywhere in world than there right now.

* * *

I sat next to the marshal, him screaming in pain, I not knowing quite what to do. Jack told me there was not much we could do… but I couldn't really believe it. I sat next to him, holding a wet wash rag to his head in my right hand, and holding his hand in my other. Jack came into the tent, holding a water bottle and another rag. I moved aside, and Jack squeezed water out of the rag into the marshal's mouth.

"Listen to me…" The marshal started.

"No, you need to keep quiet," Jack interrupted. But he was going to get his two cents in.

"Listen to me. No matter what she does, no matter how she makes you feel, don't trust a word she says. She will do anything to get away." I could imagine this guy had chased Kate for a while. He looked dedicated to hunting her down, even when he was dying himself. Jack looked at me, as if I was clueless.

"I know, Jack…" I told him. "I saw the mug shot." He looked down and rubbed his eyes, as if I had just witnessed a life altering event. He looked up and leaned over the marshal.

"What did she do?" He demanded.

"I want to talk to her."

"Tell me what she did."

"I want to talk to her alone." Jack sat back and tightened his lips. I could tell he was eager to know, but that this guy was pretty set on seeing Kate. "She got to you, too, huh?" Jack looked down. At first he had a look on his face like a little boy, denying a crush to his friends. But he softened.

"Carmen, go get Kate." I stared at him in disbelief.

"Jack, he tried to…"

"Go get Kate," He ordered again, not removing his eyes from the ground. I stood up and walked out of the tent. I walked down the beach, expecting to find Kate with everyone else. But she sat alone… with Sawyer.

"Kate," I yelled. They both looked up to me. Kate looked upset, Sawyer smug. "Um… the mar…" Sawyer didn't know yet… I should keep it that way. "The man… he wanted to see you." She stood up slowly, wiping her hands on the back of her jeans. She looked to Sawyer and nodded slowly, then followed me back to the tent.

"Carmen…" Kate started. I think she wanted to mention the marshal, but didn't know what to say. If I didn't know, I would once she asked me about it, and if I did… well, that was just awkward.

"I know." I said, clearing away some of the silence. We both looked off into different directions, not knowing what to say, or how to say it. We reached Jack's tent after what seemed ages. Jack came out, looking at Kate. I think he was trying to look angry, but couldn't. She went in slowly, and I walked with Jack towards the water silently.

"Carmen, you can go," He said.

"But… the marshal. I mean, if I'm going to help, I think now's the time." I said.

"Carmen…" He sighed slowly and rubbed his eyes. "We can't do anything to save him. I think… after he gets in his word with Kate… we need to… end it…" I looked over at him softly.

"Jack… Jack, we can't… we can't do that…" I said slowly, not knowing what else to say.

"Carmen… it's hard enough for me to do this as it is. Can you just…" Jack was upset. I could tell. He was one of those doctors that never gave up on a patient. "Why don't you go find Boone. You guys are friends right?" I nodded slowly. He was being kind of an asshole, but I could understand. I slowly walked away. I didn't really feel like talking to Boone now… he would try to cheer me up, when I don't really want cheering up right now… I looked around for Sawyer. I hadn't seen him since I got Kate. Hurley passed me, headed for Jack. I thought about asking him if he knew. I looked further down the beach by the fires. I could see Shannon and Boone arguing, Claire talking to Charlie… but not Sawyer. I turned around and went towards Jack and Hurley. Jack suddenly took off towards his tent when I got near.

"Uh, Hurley, have you seen Sawyer?" I asked him.

"Huh uh," He said, staring off towards Jack. Kate was leaving the tent.

"Ok… what's…"

"Kate!" Jack yelled after her. She turned around and stared at Jack. I started to walk off, and let their business be their business, but I heard gunfire. I threw my hands up over my head and turned around. Kate slowly looked down at the ground, and continued to walk away. I watched the tent intently. The marshal was dead. Then my heart dropped. I felt sick. I wanted to cry.

Sawyer came out of the other side of the tent. I ran into the other side of the tent. All of a sudden, I just couldn't believe the marshal was dead. Sawyer couldn't have killed him. I threw aside the tarp door and starred down at the body. Jack and Sawyer argued outside of the tent. I kneeled down beside the marshal and slowly touched his hand. He grabbed my wrist, and I almost screamed. He let go and started coughing up blood, his eyes wide and scared. Jack came in, and Sawyer behind him.

"You shot him in the chest?" Jack yelled, grabbing for things.

"Jack, I don't know what to…"

"I was… aiming for his heart," Sawyer tried.

"You missed."

"Jack, I don't know what to do!" I explained, hot tears falling down my face as I watched this man struggle to hang on to life.

"You perforated his lung! It'll take hours to bleed out," Jack said, looking back at Sawyer.

"There was… I only had one bullet…"

"Get out," Jack demanded. Sawyer stood, still in shock. A stranger would think it was because he had almost killed a man, but I knew it was because he missed. "Get out!" Sawyer hesitated then left.

"Jack… I… Jack, I don't know what to do," I said, my eyes darting around, praying someone would come and fix all this. Jack looked down at his knees.

"This isn't how I wanted it to happen…"

"Jack!" I screamed. He looked up and saw my red face. He nodded slowly.

"Okay… okay… hold his hand," He said.

"What?!"

"Hold his hand, and Carmen…" He stopped, and took my face in his hand. "I want you to look away… and sing a song, alright?" I understood now, but I didn't want to do it. I wrapped my hand inside of the marshal's and turned towards the tarp hanging down. I closed my eyes and started singing.

"I've heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music, do you?" I started singing. The marshal continued to gape and gasp, but I could feel Jack's stare on me. "It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing Hallelujah…" I wanted to stop. I could hear the Marshal fighting against Jack, his grip tightening around my hand. "Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah…" Everyone was quiet. The grip that once crushed my hand released, and lay limp beside me. "Hallelujah…" I heard Jack leave. I slowly turned around to see the marshal's face, his eyes wide open. His blood trickled down off of his cheek and over his neck. Jack's fingers left an imprint around his neck. I moved my hand from his, and closed his eyelids softly. I stood up and walked out in the direction that Jack had. Jack wasn't there, though. Sawyer looked up at me, sad and angry.

"Carmen," He started. I pushed past him and ran down the beach. I didn't want to go to my spot. That's where people would find me easily. I just kept running down the beach, past people turning to see, past Boone, past Shannon, past Claire, past Charlie. I kept running until no one was left. I fell against a tree, and felt sick. I felt like I was going to throw up. I knew I wouldn't though.

"Carmen?" Someone asked behind me. I was panting so loud I couldn't tell who it was, but I guessed Sawyer.

"Sawyer, go away!" I screamed, not turning around. I didn't want him to see me crying. His hand touched my shoulder. "Get off!" I screamed, throwing my arms in the air and turning around. I couldn't see him through the tears in my eyes. I lashed out with my hands trying to hit him. I hit him a couple of times, my tears flying everywhere, but he grabbed my wrists and turned me in close to him. I cried for a moment, not wanting to move. I wanted him to hold me… I wanted to trust him. But I knew I couldn't. I lashed away with a scream. Sayid stared back at me. I felt stupid for thinking Sawyer came after me, and embarrassed for hitting him. I wanted to say I was sorry, but all that came up my throat was more tears. I fell into Sayid's arms, willing to give anything to go home and be alone. He wrapped his arms back around me, and I leaned my head against him. We said nothing. Nothing had to be said. We both understood.

* * *

I didn't sleep. I sat by the water all night. Someone sat beside me. I knew it was Boone, but I didn't want to look at him. I hadn't cried for a few hours… I wanted to keep it that way.

"You okay?" He asked me. I nodded slowly. He was quiet a minute. "Hurley told us what happened… that Sawyer shot the guy…that he's dead." I nodded again.

"I've never," I said after a long silence, "not been able to do anything. There was always a way to try to save someone. I've never… held a man's hand… while he died." I kept looking out at the ocean, wanting something constant.

"Do you… want to talk?" He asked. I knew I would cry again if I did. But I knew I should talk, too. After a moment of silence, I spoke up.

"My mom worked in a hospital… she brought me in sometimes… and she'd show to patients, and I'd come back, and they'd be gone or dead. And… and I came here and I know this guy can be saved, I just knew we could help him! But then…" I got quieter. "Then… nothing's going right… nothing's right… I'm here, I'm alive and… I can't even find a goddamn hairbrush!" I laughed a little with Boone. "I just… feel so… out of control." I got quiet. I hadn't cried yet… I didn't feel like it was coming either. Lucky me, I guess. We sat together a while. We didn't want to talk. Or at least I didn't... it's not that I didn't like Boone, I just... didn't want to cry...

* * *

I sat on my little bed. I was tired, but not sleepy. I looked down at my feet. I took off my sneakers and put my feet up on my bed. I laid down and tried to fall asleep. I didn't realize I already was until a thud hit my stomach. I sat up quickly.

"Morning," Boone said. I looked down at my stomach at the hairbrush on my stomach. I smiled. I didn't know what to say.

"Thanks."


	4. Walkabout

**Just wanted to say thanks to all those readers who have come this far! Thanks, and enjoy!**

I lie awake in my bed. I wasn't really tired, just worn out. Everyone else was already asleep in their makeshift beds. I wanted to sleep, I just didn't feel tired enough. I rolled over onto my side facing the wall in the back of my tent. Then Walt's dog started barking. I put my hand over my ears: as if I wasn't having enough trouble sleeping. Walt yelled for his dog to stopped, and he did for a quick second, and then went at it again. Something fell over in the fuselage. I sat up quickly as I heard another noise. I threw my airplane blanket off of me and walked over to Sayid who was sitting on the ground. I put my hand on his shoulder. He stood up next to me and we walked over to the gathering crowd together. We stood behind Claire, and intently watched the fuselage.

"Somebody's in there," Claire said, her nerves showing in her voice.

"Everyone in there's dead," Sayid added.

"Sawyer," Jack stated. My eyes rolled down to the ground, embarrassed and annoyed.

"Right behind you, Jack-ass." Sawyer stood, an enormous flashlight in his hands. Jack ad Sawyer walked down together towards the fuselage. Kate followed, then Boone, and Charlie. I inched away from Sayid and followed, peering past Jack's small flashlight. He pushed Sawyer's industrial sized light away and tried to find the thing with his small light. I could see the outline of a small stooped down figure. An animal of some sort, probably.

"I'm 'a shed some light on this thing," Sawyer said to Kate, then quickly reached up his flashlight. Jack pushed it away again, but it caught site of us, it's yellow eyes staring at us through the darkness.

"Run!" Jack shouted to alert everyone. We all ran away, off in different directions. I ran a little to the right of the crowd, as to avoid more people. I felt like it was right behind me, its screams so close. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me down to the ground off to the left. They pulled me farther back in the sand as I watched a quick shadow run past us. I turned around to see the Asian man I had sat next to on the plane.

"They're gone!" The Asian woman said something as she came towards us, looking down at the man and I.

"What the bloody hell was that?"

"Boars."

* * *

I was starting to walk back to my tent when I saw them. The Asian couple sat together, not talking to each other. I felt responsible… what if that woman thought something else, or I broke some odd tradition, or something? I looked down at my feet and walked slowly over to them. I pushed my hair behind my ear as I looked up and smiled at the man. He looked confused, and nervous.

"Uh… thank you," I said. He looked confused still. He didn't speak English…. Terrific. "Um… thank," I pointed to me and him, "you. For helping me," I said. How come we talk louder when people don't understand us? It makes no sense. I pointed to the fuselage. The man nodded and smiled at me as a "you're welcome." I smiled back at him, and looked over to the woman. She was staring at me, but when my eyes met hers, she turned back to her feet. I turned around and headed back to my tent, not knowing if I made things better or worse. I was too tired to care. I think that running was just the thing I needed to get some sleep.

* * *

"Hey." My eyes seemed to shoot upon with this interrupted sound of the wind. I flicked my head to the right to see Boone holding a shirt he was using as a towel in his left hand, and pushing it against his hip as he watched me struggle against the bright light of the sun. "Didn't sleep well?" He asked. I lay on my back and closed my eyes.

"No… not at all," I said. I heard him chuckle a little and come towards me. He sat on the edge of my bed.

"You okay? Or do you need some more time to rest?" He asked. I smiled at his kind spirit.

"No, I… I should get up," I said. My eyes didn't want to open, but I made them as I sat up and threw my legs over the side of my bed. Boone laughed a little. "What?" I asked with a smile.

"Your hair…" He pointed out. I raised my hand to my head slowly. My hair was confused; some of it was sticking straight up like I'd been electrocuted, while the rest lay down on my head like helmet hair.

"Shut up." We laughed a little. I grabbed the hairbrush from the edge of my bed and starting fixing my hair. Boone looked down at where I had picked it up and around the area.

"You haven't found your bag yet?" Boone asked. I looked up at him.

"No," I said, and looked back down at my knees as I brushed my hair down. My bag was so small… it was probably out in the ocean somewhere. It only had a few shirts in it, and maybe a pair of jeans, and… my picture… all of a sudden, I wanted my bag. But I wanted to be the one to find it. I didn't want Boone to see the pictures. He would ask questions, and I would either have to lie and ruin the relationship, or tell the truth and lose the one thing I had on this island that not many other people did: innocence.

"You know, I could help you find it," Boone said. I put my brush back in its home at the end of my bed.

"Boone…" I slowly looked up at him, forcing a smile to the surface of my face, "I'm not really worried about it." He stared at me for a moment. I hoped my smile looked convincing. He eventually smiled back.

"Alright… if I see it though… I mean, what does it look like?" He asked. I didn't see any point in lying to him about that, he wasn't going to find it anyway.

"Oh, uh… it's small, and it's red, and it has a bunch of polka dots on it… it's really light, too. But seriously, Boone, you don't need to worry about it." He smiled. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him, then left. I guessed that was like an awkward hug. I smiled and laughed a little at it.

* * *

It started to piss me off. I couldn't find my bag anywhere in the piles of luggage.

"Whatcha lookin' for?" Someone asked behind me. I spun around. It was Charlie, chewing on something and tossing something else into the sand. I laughed a little at my own paranoia.

"Um… my bag. I can't find it," I said. He nodded, and started humming. It was the same song he was humming on our hike. And it was pissing me off now just as much, if not more than it was earlier. I was about to turn around and smack him. Fortunately for him, Sawyer grabbed my attention. I looked up and saw Sawyer nearly wrestling with Hurley.

"Oh, that's bull and you know it!" Hurley screamed, reaching at Sawyer's bag. Boone was close to them.

"Guys, knock it off," Boone interfered. They ignored him though. I got up and hurried over to the crowd that was slowly forming.

"You're not happy unless you're screwing over…"

"Hey, I'm peachy, pork-pie!"

"Guys, knock it off!"

"Stay out of this, Metro!" Sawyer yelled at Boone.

"Hey!" I screamed at him. Sawyer snapped his head at me, and immediately looked upset. He looked like a little boy after his mom caught him starting a fight with a neighbor: Embarrassed, scared, and stupid… which seemed like hitting the nail on the head, to me. Jack broke up Sawyer and Hurley.

"What's going on?"

"Sawyer's holding the last of the peanuts!" Hurley pointed.

"It's my own stash! I found it in there!" Sawyer said. Jack looked down at his feet and around at the crowd of Oceanic survivors, afraid of the question he was about to ask.

"What about the rest of the food?"

"There is no rest of the food, man! We kinda… ate it all…" Half of the crowd was surprised, the other disappointed. I was mad at Sawyer… food wasn't a concern of mine currently.

"We can find food! There are plenty of things on this island we can use for sustenance," Sayid explained to everyone.

"And how are we gonna find this sustenance?" Sawyer sassed. A knife flew by his head, and I nearly screamed. I might've screamed… I couldn't tell. I thought Sawyer was dead in that instance… but I was 

wrong. I looked at his assassin. It was a bald man, with a scar on his right brow. He wore a crisp white shirt, and looked proud.

"We hunt."

"How'd you get that knife on the plane?" Kate asked.

"Checked it."

"Well, you either have very good aim, or… very bad aim, Mister?" Jack asked, handing him his knife.

"Locke," Walt's dad said. "His name is Locke."

"Alright, Mr. Locke, what is it that we're hunting?" Jack commented. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

"We know there are wild boar on the island… razorbacks, by the look of them. The ones that came into the camp last night were piglets… 100, 150 pounds each. Which means that there's a mother nearby. A 250 pound rat with semi-tar-like tusks and a surly disposition who'd love nothing more than to obiserate anything comes near. A boars usual mode of attack is to circle around, charge from behind, so I figure it'll take about three of us to distract her long enough for me to flank one of the piglets, pin it… and slit it's throat." He explained. He sounded like he'd thought through his little speech a couple of times now.

"And you gave him his knife back?" Sawyer asked Jack.

"Well, if you've got a better idea…"

"Better than three of you wondering into the magic forest to bag a hunk of ham with nothing but a little bitty hunting knife? Hell no, best idea I ever heard," Sawyer said sarcastically. Jack looked like he had listened to Sawyer, and still needed some convincing from Locke. He walked around his case, and opened it with his foot to reveal at least ten or twelve more knives. I felt my eyebrows raise without my making them.

"Who is this guy?" Hurley asked aloud.

* * *

Kate and Walt's dad, who Boone told me is named Michael, started to head off into the jungle, following Locke. I turned and walked back over to the piles of suitcases brought from the fuselage. I shifted through them, hoping I'd find it, but having no luck. Boone walked up beside me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Did you hear? The pregnant woman wants to have a, uh… memorial service of sorts for the people who… didn't make it," Boone said, leaning over and holding himself up by leaning on his knees.

"Cool." We were quiet a little.

"Well… I guess I'll go and get some more wood," Boone said, standing up again. "Oh, and I bet Shannon she couldn't catch a fish." I laughed.

"How much money did you win?" I asked. We laughed to ourselves. He waved, and walked off towards the edge of the jungle. I looked through the suitcases a little more. Still nothing.

* * *

I sat up. I had been sleeping and laying on my bed for almost three hours. I had given up on my bag… I wasn't going to find it, I just didn't want anyone else to find my pictures. I wanted them too, of course, I just… didn't want Boone to see them, or Sayid… there was already a danger of Sawyer telling someone. I didn't want to get up, but I knew I couldn't just go back to sleep. Boone ran up to my tent.

"Hey, they're back," he said. He was talking about Locke. I got up and followed him forward. Michael was hurt, and Kate was carrying him… and Locke wasn't there.

"Where's Locke?" I asked. Boone shook his head, and turned around, heading for Shannon, who was drying her bikini.

"I don't think the hunt went very well, that bald guy never came back," Boone said.

"Locke," I interrupted.

"Wait they didn't bring back any food at all?" Shannon asked.

"Did you hear what I just said? Someone might've died out there!"

"Well, we're all gonna die if somebody doesn't do something."

"There you are!" Charlie shouted at us. He wasn't talking to me, was he? "As promised, you and I will be dining on fresh catch of the day." Shannon shrieked and pushed past me and Boone. She took the fish from Charlie's hands, and shoved it into Boone's. "Yeah, it was no problem. Well, that one gave me a hell of a tussel, but you have to get inside the mind of a fish, I cornered it," Charlie continued. I laughed a little. Boone put his hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry about this. Seriously," He said.

"No, it's okay."

"What are you apologizing to him for?"

"For you! For using this poor guy like you use everyone else!" Boone said.

"Oh, whatever!"

"Somewhere in your twisted little brain, you think this means you can take care of yourself." I watched as he walked away, Shannon following, arguing with him the whole way.

"Sorry, Charlie," I said. He looked baffled. I let him alone. I figured it would be pretty sad if you were used like that, but he wouldn't want my hanging around him. I looked up at the jungle. Jack came walking out with Kate, and behind her, someone I never expected to see again. Locke came out, pulling a boar. He was soaked in blood. I smiled.

"Good job," I yelled out to him. He looked up at me and smiled a little. A figure taking down a 100 pound rat was a pretty good accomplishment.

* * *

I ran over to the crowd surrounding the fire. I worked my way to the front to see Claire, reading from papers Hurley handed her, Boone providing her light. I didn't really want to be here, but I knew I should be. Everyone should. If I had died in the crash, I know I would've wanted everyone to come. I watched the plane burn, the plastic crumple up and darken, the metal hold its heat. It didn't feel like I'd been there long, but before I knew it, the ceremony was over. The crowd dispersed. Boone looked at me, then put out his fire. I walked back to my tent and sat on my bed. I was all of a sudden depressed. I wanted to be home… with my parents. It had been so long since I'd wanted to be with my parents, I couldn't believe the words running through my head.

"Hey," Boone said, standing at the entrance to my tent.

"Hey."

"Look," He said. I looked up at him. In his hand, he held a small, light red polka dotted bag. It had scraps on it, and the fabric was torn.

"My bag…" I said. I smiled a little, hoping to God he didn't look inside.

"Yeah… I found it in the fuselage. Lucky, huh? It would've been burnt it I hadn't," He said, standing in front of me.

"Yeah… thanks," I said. I reached out for my bag.

"Do me a favor, though, and tell me why you didn't want me to find it," He said. I looked up at him, and slowly pulled my hands back.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. He sat beside me and put the bag down further from me.

"Come on, Carmen. What's wrong? Why won't you tell me?" He asked. He seemed offended.

"Boone, I… I can't… please, Boone, I can't tell you," I said slowly. I looked down at my knees. I was embarrassed. He stood up and picked up the bag. He unzipped it. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know what you're hiding," He said. He flipped the bag upside down and everything fell out. "But I wanna know."

"Wait, stop Boone!" I reached for the pile of clothes he had dumped into the sand. I found the pictures and pulled them in close to my chest.

"What is that?" He asked, walking towards me.

"Please, Boone, I don't want you…"

"Give it to me," He said. I wanted someone to come in and stop him… Sawyer, Sayid, anyone. But no one did. Boone reached for the pictures and tried to take them. I pulled back and fell over into the sand.

"Boone, stop!" I screamed. Why didn't anyone hear me? Why did no one come? He snatched the pictures from my hands. I got up and tried to take them back. He stared at them, analyzing each one. I felt tears climbing my throat. Maybe I missed Morgan's. Please, let me have missed Morgan's. Boone sat down on the bed.

"I don't…. get it, Carmen. What's wrong with these?" He asked. I sat beside him. He flipped through the pictures. My dad and mom, Adam, Lily, and then… Joshua… my eyes started to tear up. And then… Morgan. I started crying. A tear fell onto Boone's arm. I closed my eyes and covered my mouth with my hand. I snatched the pictures from his hand and turned away from him. He touched my back softly, but I wanted him gone. It had been so long since someone hurt me like that. He lifted his hand, and I felt him get off of the bed and heard him leave my tent. I fell against my cushion and cried as I stared at Morgan's picture, wishing she were somehow with me again, but knowing nothing would ever bring her back to me.

**Thanks! Please review!  
**


	5. White Rabbit

Thanks again to all my readers!!

* * *

"Jack! Hey Jack!" I heard Charlie screaming. I sat up in my bed. It was really bright out. I looked out of my tent to see Jack sprinting towards the water. He dove in, and started swimming out. I got up quickly and ran over to the group gathering.

"Charlie, what happened?" I asked him, grabbing onto his arm.

"Someone's out there, they were screaming, and…. And I can't swim…" He kept blubbering. I looked around me and saw Shannon, standing alone on the beach. I walked back to her.

"Where's Boone?" I asked her. She shrugged.

"He wasn't there when I woke up." I looked nervously out at the water. Jack was carrying a man back to shore slowly. It was Boone. There was another woman screaming only so far behind him.

"Oh my God," I thought. All of the anger I had for him from last night went away, and turned into fear and panic. I ran down by the water line as Jack arrived with Kate and Charlie close behind me. Jack put Boone's arms over our shoulders.

"Jack!" Kate said, letting Boone's weight shift to me.

"Someone else is still out there!" Jack dove back into the water.

"Charlie, we'll take him to my tent," I said. He nodded. We dragged him over.

"Boone!" Shannon screamed. You would have thought he was dead, the way she mourned. We continued past her and to my tent.

"You okay?" Charlie asked, pulling Boone as fast as he could.

"Fine," I said. It was probably the first time I'd talked to Charlie without him humming that song. It was kind of nice. We arrived at my tent and slowly put him down on my bed. I laid him down and looked at his face. He was still trying to catch his breath. "He swallowed a lot of salt water… Charlie, could you go get him some water?"

"Yeah, sure," He said, leaving the tent. I stroked the side of his face.

"It's okay, Boone. I've got you now," I comforted him. I sat in silence with him as he caught his breath. His eyes remained shut the whole time. Maybe because of the bright light, but I thought he was slipping out of consciousness. "It's alright, Boone… stay with me."

"Here ya' go," Charlie said, handing me the bottle of water. I opened it slowly and poured some into Boone's mouth, and took it, thankfully. We sat in silence for a bit.

"I'm gonna go… see if they got that other girl. Are you… gonna be okay?" He asked me slowly. He wasn't as sweet as Sayid and Boone had been to me, but he was still being really nice. I smiled over at him.

"Yeah… I'll be fine. So will he. Don't worry about it," I said, keeping the smile plastered over my face. Charlie smiled back, and fled the tent. I sat alone with Boone, who by now was unconscious. I knew he was going to be okay; it was just a matter of waiting for him, now.

* * *

I had almost fallen asleep myself.

"Did he get her?" Boone lay on the bed, his eyes open, staring at the tarp over his head.

"Jack, you mean?" I asked. He nodded slowly. I looked down at my feet. Charlie had come back when he was sleeping and told me Jack didn't make it in time.

"Boone, he… he tried, but it was too late," I said. Boone looked over at me and sat up quickly.

"He shouldn't have stopped for me," He said, turning out towards the beach.

"What?"

"I was fine! He shouldn't have stopped for me!" Boone complained. I sighed.

"Boone… you were drowning…"

"No, I wasn't, Carmen! I was alright, I needed to catch my breath, but I was fine!" He said, getting in my face and yelling at me. I looked down at my knees.

"Boone, you were going to die. What would've happened to Shannon? And me? What would we have done, Boone?" I was starting to yell myself.

"I was fine!" He screamed. I could hear tears rising in his voice. He threw his legs over the bed and left. I sat alone on my bed, angry and confused. I looked down at the sand, still holding my shirts and jeans from last night when Boone had poured them all out of my bag. I picked up the bag he had dropped on the floor and started putting away my shirts and jeans, putting my pictures in the small pouch of my bag. I saw my wad of money there as I put the pictures away. I wouldn't be needing that anymore. I was kind of surprised that I was taking all of this so well, now… the whole 'I may never got off of this island,' thing. I hadn't been upset about that for a couple days now. I guess that's good, right? I put my hairbrush into my bag and put it at the end of my bed. I looked out of my tent.

"Hey, I'm talkin' to you!" Boone screamed at Jack. I got up and ran over, but before I got to him, Jack ran off into the jungle. I pushed Boone in the back.

"What the hell's the matter with you?!" I yelled at him. He walked away from me, pissed and not wanting to take it out on me.

"Go away, Carmen."

"No, Boone! You need to get it in your head that if Jack hadn't helped you, you would be dead right now! Boone!" I yelled after him, but he just walked away. I put my hand to my head and turned around, heading back to my tent. But as I did, I saw Claire. She was groping around with her hand for something to hold on to, but found nothing and fell to the ground. I ran over to her, passing Walt on my way. "Walt, go find the doctor! Tell him Claire fell down!" I turned to my other side to see Michael and Charlie, seeing Claire for the first time. "Help me!" I yelled at them. They came running over, and picked her up.

"Where we takin' her?" Michael asked me.

"Jack's tent, over here," I led them quickly to his tent. Kate caught up with us quickly, and ran beside me and Charlie.

"What happened?"

"She just dropped," Charlie said.

"Must be the heat… is she breathing?"

"I don't know," Michael added.

"Come on, let's get her inside," Kate ran ahead to Jack's tent. We came in.

"Put her down there," I told them, pointing to the bed. Michael and Charlie put her down slowly. "Michael, take off her shoes."

"Claire? Claire, honey? Wake up…Claire, can you hear me? Claire, can you hear me?" Kate tried. Claire slowly shook away. "Hey, honey. It's me, it's Kate."

"What happened?"

"You passed out," Kate told her. She turned to me.

"She needs water," I said to Charlie. He turned around and looked behind a case of Jack's. I looked back at Claire, shaking her head, confused. "Charlie, the water," I reminded him.

"The water's gone," He said. I turned around. "Somebody stole it!" He said, accusingly. Kate looked up.

"Carmen, can you stay with her?" I nodded.

"I'll stay," Charlie volunteered. I nodded. Kate got up and left. I went out the other way, and Michael followed.

"Will she be alright?" He asked me. I looked up at him, then back in front of me and nodded.

"Yeah… she really needs water though," I added. Michael walked away from me, and I continued back to my tent.

* * *

Sawyer emerged from the woods, annoyed. Kate followed and went off in a different direction. He sat down in an airline chair on the beach. I got up and walked over to him. I wanted to talk to him again… it felt like it had been too long. I stood in front of him and he looked up at me.

"Hey, Sandiego," He said, looking back down at his feet. I sat down next to him. I didn't really know what to say, now that I was here. I wanted him to apologize, but I knew he wouldn't…

"Carmen, I only shot him because he was in pain, and I wanted to end it, I wasn't bein' murderous or anything, alright?" He said. He looked annoyed, but I could tell he was upset.

"I thought you were the fugitive for a while," I told him. He looked over at me, and now he looked offended. "When I saw you on the plane, you never showed me your hands, and you seemed so… odd, in the way you acted… I wasn't sure. I thought that you had crashed the plane for a moment there…" I laughed a little, but he kept a still face.

"You thought I crashed the plane?" He asked me, looking angered now. I wiped away my smile and looked down at my feet.

"It was a mistake, Sawyer." We sat together in silence. He was mad at me for thinking that of him. "I'm sorry." I got up and left him. I was upset that I had upset him, but what could I do about it. I only told him the truth… and that's good, right?

* * *

"My hands were cold," He said. I turned to Sawyer, standing at the entrance to my tent, the only light around him being the fires lit around camp. I looked back down at my feet. "I was cold, so I kept my hands under my jacket to warm 'um up." I nodded and laughed a little. "I'm sorry, Carmen…" He stood there, waiting for something to invite him in, or push him away. I scooted over on my bed, making room for him to sit beside me. He came in and sat, looking at me briefly, then to the ground.

"Sawyer, it was stupid of me to think that you did something like this. I should be the only one apologizing," I reminded him. But one thing stuck in my mind. "When the plane was about to crash… you were going to say something…" He nodded slowly and laughed a little.

"I was, uh… gonna tell you I got banned from Australia…" He said, looking at me.

"How did you manage that?" I laughed. He smiled.

"I broke the rules," He answered we laughed a little.

"Here's your thief!" Charlie yelled. We looked out of my tent to see Charlie pointing to Boone, lying on the ground.

"Boone…" I whispered. I got out of my seat quickly and ran over to them.

"Why'd you do it pretty boy, eh?" Charlie pushed Boone.

"Charlie, stop!" I yelled.

"It was just sittin'… just sittin' in the tent! And Jack took off!"

"Claire could've died!"

"I tried to give her some sooner, but it just… it got out of hand! No one would've understood!"

"What is going on?" Kate asked.

"Someone had to take responsibility! Or he would've never left!"

"Shut up!" Charlie yelled, attacking him.

"Charlie, stop it!" I ran between them and Michael helped me pull off of each other.

"Leave him alone!" We all turned around, in shock and surprise. Jack stood near us, sweaty and secure. Charlie let go of Boone and we all took a step away from each other.

"It's been six days… and we're all still waiting. Waiting for someone to come. But what if they don't?" He said these words as if they were easy to say. I couldn't muster it up to tell anyone about the transmission. Jack said it simply, and he didn't even hear it. "We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out. A woman died this morning, just going for a swim. And he tried to save her, and now you're about to crucify him?" He asked, staring at Charlie and Michael with accusing eyes. I looked at Boone. He looked ashamed. "We can't do this! Every man for himself is not gonna work! It's time to start organizing, we need to figure out how we're gonna survive here. Now I found water. Fresh water, up in the valley," Jack continued. Half of the group looked over in the direction he came from, as if it were close by. "I'll take a group in at first light. If you don't want to come, then find another way to contribute! Last week, most of us were strangers. But we're all here now. And God knows how long we're gonna be here!" The group that had gone up with me and heard the transmission all looked down, as if we all felt guilty for not making this speech ourselves. "But if we can't live together… we're gonna die alone." All of a sudden… I felt like crying about being stuck here again. I looked over at Boone. He looked embarrassed, and apologetic. I walked away from him. I didn't want to deal with it right now. I sat down on my bed in my tent, alone. It felt like I hadn't been alone in a while, even though I spent almost an hour in there alone before Sawyer talked to me.

"Would you like some water?" Sayid asked. I hadn't looked up to see him yet, but he had a very distinctive accent. I smiled as I turned up my head.

"Yeah… that sounds nice," I replied. He came in and reached over a half a bottle of water to me. It spilled a little on the sand. I took it and sipped quietly.

"Carmen," He asked me, "Are you alright?" I smiled a little. I felt sick, and like crying, but I didn't want to complain. I had already vented to Sayid… he didn't need a teenage girl's problems to deal with along with his own.

"Yeah," I said casually. "I'm fine." He smiled, and left the tent. I drank my water quietly. I figured I should stay on the beach tomorrow instead of going to get water. Being less involved for once should give me a good break. I put my water down on the sand and laid down on my bed. I felt sick.


	6. House of the Rising Sun

**Yay for Lost!**

I sat on the beach, doing a crossword puzzle in a book I had found on the beach this morning. Earlier, I looked through a few suitcases, and found a few shirts and a pair of shorts, and a cute pair of flip-flops, and of course, a crossword puzzle book. It said it was really easy… it lied. I couldn't remember the name of a female sheep. Who knows that anyway, other than sheep farmers? The Asian couple were behind me, doing something with a fish, I think. The man passed me quickly: he looked mad. The woman said something after him. I went back to my book until I heard someone fall. I looked up to see the Asian man on top of Michael, punching him. I threw the book down and jumped to my feet, running to help them. Walt tried to get him to stop, but the Asian man pushed him away. I ran against the man with all my strength and weight, but it barely moved him. He threw his hand up and pushed me hard into the water. I got up, my jeans and white shirt soaked in the water. I couldn't help him alone. I got up and ran past Walt and the Asian woman, towards people who were ignorant to the violence down by the beach. Sawyer was arguing with Sayid only a short way off. I ran faster, and my right flip-flop fell off.

"Sawyer! Sayid!" The two looked my way. "Help!" I ran back towards Michael and the man, Sawyer and Sayid shortly behind. My other shoe fell off. As soon as they both saw the fight, Sawyer and Sayid ran past me and into the water. Sayid tackled the man, and Sawyer picked up Michael.

"The handcuffs! From the sky marshal! Now!" Sayid yelled. Sawyer reached into his pocket and pulled them out, working to support Michael and give Sayid the cuffs. I took Michael from him, and Sawyer ran over to him. I took Michael slowly to shore, and took him up closer to the plane. We waited there until Sayid came with the Asian man, and handcuffed him to a portion of the plane that stuck out from the rest. "What happened?" He asked the woman.

Michael explained his story, that he did nothing to provoke the fight, with the Asian man occasionally chiming in.

"Surely there must be something you're not telling us," Sayid stated.

"Surely?" Michael answered. "Where you from, man?"

"Tikrit. Iraq," Sayid said, annoyed.

"Okay, I don't know how it is in Iraq, but in the United States of America, Korean people don't like Black people. D'you know that?!" Michael yelled. The man yelled something in Korean. "So maybe you oughta talk ta'im!" the woman said something to Sayid, pointing to her wrists.

"The cuffs stay on!" Sayid said loudly.

"Little louder, Omar, maybe then she'll understand you," Sawyer snapped.

"Guys, that Chinese dude's gonna get pretty crispy out here. How we gonna keep him tied down like that?" Hurley asked.

"He tried to kill Michael, we all saw it," Sayid reminded us. "The cuffs stay on until we know why."

"Come on, man," Michael said, taking Walt away from the Korean man. We all slowly left. I walked back to my tent. I wanted to give the man water. I didn't agree with him or anything, but maybe I could understand this whole situation better if I was a little nicer to them. I walked back to my tent and got the bottle of water I had yet to drink, and brought it back to the Korean couple, now sitting alone. I kneeled beside him and handed him the water. He took it hesitantly, not knowing why I was being so nice. I turned to the woman and pointed at myself.

"Carmen," I said, hoping she would understand my name. She nodded.

"Um… Sun," She said, pointing to herself, and then at the man. "Jin." I smiled, and shook her hand, then left. I wanted to get answers from them, but I didn't know how I'd say it, or what I'd say, or how to interpret what she said back. I walked back to my tent quietly, wondering why Jin would attack Michael so randomly.

* * *

"Hey," Jack said. I smiled up at him from my bed.

"Hey. You bring me water?" I asked. He laughed and tossed me a bottle.

"So, uh… we're askin people if they want to stay here on the beach, or… live by the caves, and by the water. I'm moving out there, so… if you wanted to help me… I'll be there," He said. I nodded. I had taken a long time in setting up my spot here, but there wasn't so much else to do on an island. And I did want to be near the doctor. I nodded.

"Yeah… I'll come to the caves. Smarter than bringing water here everyday," I said. Jack nodded.

"We'll be leaving soon," He said, then left. I got my bag and got up, leaving the tent I had almost grown used to. I picked up a backpack from the wreckage that was now empty and slung it over my shoulder.

"Where you goin?" Someone asked me. I turned around to see Sawyer.

"The caves. To be closer to the water," I told him. He came closer to me, looking kind of upset.

"Carmen… you wanna be rescued, you ain't gonna find it there…"

"Sawyer, you heard the same transmission I did. No one's coming," I reminded him. He looked upset that I still thought that. "I'm sorry." I turned and left him. I looked back and saw Sawyer say something nasty to Boone, than walk away from him. Boone watched after me. Sawyer probably blamed him for my leaving. But it wasn't Boone… I just wanted to be near the doctor, and water. I turned back to the jungle, where Jack waited, his back slung over his shoulder, a line behind him. We walked into the jungle. I was nervous, but I knew it would be okay. It always was.

* * *

It was dark by the time we got to the caves. And when Jack said caves, he meant caves. Rocks lined every edge of the surroundings. I walked over to a smooth, long rock, up a little higher from the ground. It was near where Jack was settling. I put my bags down, and brought out two airline blankets and put one on top of the rock I would sleep on. I put the other by Jack's things, as an offering to anyone who needed it. I sat down on the rock. I was so unsure about being here. Far from Sawyer, Sayid, Boone… almost everyone that was welcoming to me on this island. Jin and Sun were here, but I was actually somewhat afraid of them. Apparently, Michael let Jin go by cutting the cuffs with the ax. I didn't know why though. I lay down as the fires grew, and tried to go to sleep in my new home.


	7. The Moth

**Yay for moths! And drugs Charlie used to do! Yay!**

Jack and Hurley came back through the woods, carrying suitcases full of medicines.

"Dude… what's in these things, cinder blocks?" Hurley complained. Jack and Hurley put the suitcases down. I put down my crossword puzzle book, slipped my tennis shoes on, and joined them.

"Packed everything that I thought might be useful here, without leaving the others shorthanded," Jack told him.

"Hey, you guys need any help?" Charlie asked, placing his guitar down on a rock. "I used to lug the band equipment, before we had roadies… way back in the day. Here let me…"

"Charlie, the zipper's…" Jack started, but Charlie picked up the bag, letting bottle of antacids and antibiotics fall out. "Broken…"

"Sorry," Charlie apologized, "Just tryin' to help…"

"No, I know, it's okay," Jack told him. "Hey, wanna help me grab the rest of these bags?" He asked Hurley. Jack walked off towards the bags, but Hurley stood there watching for a second.

"Oh… could I?" Hurley asked unenthusiastically. He followed Jack. I walked to the cave where Jack had decided to set up the medical station. It sounded good, but it worried me. We didn't know if it was safe… I knew nothing bad would happen, but still… it didn't feel right.

"What's up?" Jack asked me. It seemed kind of odd to hear a grown man ask me 'what was up,' but Jack could pull it off. Sometimes.

"I'm just, uh… concerned," I told him. "About these caves." He nodded.

"I'll look at them before I put anything in them. If there's anything obviously wrong with 'em… we stay out here," He told me. I felt more assured now, look a little girl having her mother look in the closet for the boogie man. He grabbed a flashlight from his bag, and we started to inspect the caves. We looked into every nook and cranny of the cave. Nothing seemed to be particularly irregular. I felt reassured.

"You know… a lot of people look up to me!" Charlie yelled at Jack. I turned around with Jack and stared at him, confused at what was happening.

"What?" I asked him.

"They respect me! And you…"

"Charlie…" Jack wondered.

"You just treat me like I'm some bloody child, like I'm some useless joke!"

"What are you talkin' about?" Jack asked him.

"Charlie, what's…" I started, but Charlie wasn't done.

"Charlie's not good enough to do this, Charlie's just in the way, put Charlie up to that!"

"Just sit down, man, I wanna take a look at you," Jack ordered.

"Oh, you're gonna look out for me, yeah? We'll look out for each other, that's how…" I just stood there in bewilderment. I didn't know where this was coming from, why, what Jack did… if anything…

"Charlie, just calm down, you're not yourself!" Jack told him.

"You don't know me! I'm a bloody rock God!" Charlie screamed. Rocks started to tumble. Small ones at first, but then they got bigger, and before I knew it, rocks were falling all around me. I felt paralyzed, like my body was separated from me. We all ran towards the exit, but I fell. A rock hit my leg, and I tripped. Then… just darkness…

* * *

"Carmen? Carmen, can you hear me?" I heard a voice call out to me. My eyes opened and saw nothing but the black darkness. "Carmen… are you okay?" I turned a little, to see Jack sitting next to me, Charlie beside him.

"Wha… what happened?" I asked them. Jack smiled a little.

"The cave collapsed on us," He said, looking around softly. "Good call." I smiled.

"How long was I out?" I asked. Jack turned to Charlie.

"Uh… 'bout… two hours, or so?" I sighed and looked down at my feet a moment, then back up at Jack.

"Are we… are we... okay?" I asked. He nodded.

"I, uh… hurt my shoulder, but…" he looked back at Charlie, "It'll be okay." I sat up. We sat in a small triangle quietly. Jack took sips from a water bottle that Charlie had given him.

"Charlie," I started. He looked up at me. "What happened back there?" He looked down at his feet, and wiped his mouth nervously with the back of his hand.

"How long has it been, Charlie?" Jack asked him. I was confused. What the hell were they talking about now?

"I don't know what you're going on about," Charlie asked, turning briefly at me.

"How long has it been since your last fix?" Jack continued. I looked at Charlie. He was a druggie. But he looked like a mess… it was the first time I'd actually taken the time to look at him in a while. He looked like he was in withdrawal.

"Almost a day and a half," Charlie said after a long silence.

"How's the withdrawal treating you? Any hallucinations?" Jack wondered. He was in 'doctor mode.' He didn't seem to ever switch off.

"Apart from the conversation I had about an hour ago with you in the jungle? No, not really," Charlie told us, laughing a little. We joined, but more because we wanted to show that we cared, and wanted to help him. When I was still in high school, in the beginning of my freshman year, I had a lot of friends who were druggies. Most were potheads, but it was all the same to me. Smelly stuff that killed you.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jack asked him. "We could've helped you through this."

"Yeah, you'd think I was useless, and a junkie, too," Charlie continued, now regretting he'd said anything.

"Useless? You're not useless. It took a lot of guts coming back in here, tryin' rescue me… to rescue us. I won't forget that," Jack told him. I smiled at Charlie in agreement.

"For the rest of our lives?" Charlie asked, like a little girl seeking approval from her father. Jack laughed a little at the question.

"At the rate we're using our oxygen in here… it won't be too long," Jack said. I looked down at my feet. I was getting used to that constant feeling like I was going to die. I didn't like it anymore than I did the first time, though.

"This place… reminds me of confession. Those little… claustrophobic booths," Charlie said. I laughed. That wasn't my religion. My mom used to be Roman Catholic, but gave it up because the church was so anal.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a… Religious man," Jack smiled.

"I used to be…" Charlie looked like he was drifting back into his memories. "Hey, you wanna hear my confession?" I laughed, as did Jack. "Might take a while."

"Hey, I'm no scene either," Jack told him. I looked down at my feet. I felt depressed… but I guess that's a common feeling when you know you're sitting in the place you're going to die in.

"Hey, uh… Boone… was out there. He came running once I said your name," Charlie told me. I looked up at him and smiled. I hadn't ever talked to Boone after that night when he'd stolen the water.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked. I looked up. Charlie was straining his eyes.

"A moth…"

"A what?" Jack asked.

"Right behind you, look! There's a… there's a bloody moth in here!" Charlie said, as if it were a shocking thing to find a moth in nature. He sat up on his knees, and starting scratching at this ceiling.

"Charlie, what are you doing?" Jack asked. I sat up on my knees.

"There's a light!" Charlie yelled back.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I can see light!" Charlie crawled upwards through a small hole we was digging, and started laughing.

"What is it?" I asked, excited at the thought of living.

"Come up! Come up!" Charlie yelled down the hole. I looked to Jack.

"You first," He told me. I stepped up and crawled through the small hole. I inched up in an army-crawl fashion. I could see light, sun piercing the darkness surrounding me. I crawled higher, until Charlie reached his hand down to me. He pulled me up, the dirt from the ground dusting my light brown hair.

"Jack, come up!" I yelled down. Jack had trouble because of his shoulder. It took him a few moments to get up, but Charlie grabbed his good arm and pulled him out. We walked together, smiling at our freedom from the caves. I smiled at Charlie and draped my hand over his shoulder. "Thanks," I said. He smiled.

"Hey, it's the doctor!" I heard Walt yell ahead of us. We walked around a corner and into the caves, where Kate pushed past everyone to the front of the crowd. Boone sat up quickly at the sight of me. Kate ran over to us and nearly attacked Jack when she hugged him.

"Oh, ow, easy! My shoulder… be careful," Jack told her. She backed off a little.

"How'd you get out?" Hurley asked.

"Charlie," Jack said, smiling at him, "Charlie found a way out."

"Dude, you rock!" Hurley threw his arms around Charlie and smothered him in a hug. Others congratulated Charlie, and hugged him. I walked past them to Boone.

"Hey," He said to me, still panting from his work.

"Hey..."

"Carmen, are you okay?" He asked me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I smiled.

"I'm fine."

* * *

Me and Boone sat together, drinking fresh water and smiling. All of a sudden, I realized what bugged me most. I looked around at the faces surrounding me. Sun, Jin, Charlie, Jack, Hurley, Walt, Michael… but not him.

"Hey, uh," I started. Boone looked over to me, smiling. "Did Sawyer come?" I asked. Boone looked at me, his smile fading.

"Um… no," He told me. I frowned a little and looked at my feet. We sat in silence a little longer. It was getting dark. "Carmen…"

"Boone, you might want to get back to the beach soon. It's getting dark," I reminded him. He looked hurt. He looked into his water bottle.

"Yeah… right," He said. He got up quickly, grabbed his backpack and left, occasionally glancing back to me to see if I'd change my mind.

"Wait!" I yelled after him. I ran after him when he didn't stop. I had to run into the jungle a bit to catch up. "Boone, wait!" He turned around quickly, and I threw my arms around him, holding him in an embrace. He slowly wrapped his arms back around me, pulling me tighter and tighter against him. It felt kind of uncomfortable, but Boone had been like a father to me… not like my dad, but a father who cared. I let him go and smiled. He looked happy. He rubbed his hand on the top of my head, turned and walked back to the beach. I smiled at him as I watched him go.


	8. Confidence Man

**Okay, I want to thank again all my fans. Sorry it's been so long! You know how life gets! Okay, enjoy!**

**Oh, ya, I don't own Lost.**

"This is gonna hurt," Jack said. Sayid braced himself for the cold, stinging medicine that was about to touch his head. I stared at him, wanting to do something, but not having the chance. Jack pressed the cool gauze against Sayid's head, as he cringed and let out a deep breath. Jack held the bottle of hydrogen peroxide in his hand. "Ready to tell me what happened?" Sayid looked ahead of him, past me and into the jungle beyond.

"We were trying to find the source of the distress call. I saw the flare from the beach, and then the flare from Sawyer's position in the Jungle," Sayid cringed again as the peroxide bit the flesh around his open wound. "I switched on my antenna, activated the transceiver, and then… darkness." Sayid turned around to look Jack in the face. "Whoever hit me came from behind." I looked up at Jack, waiting for his reaction. Sayid was definitely one of those people that would act long before thinking of what to do in an angering situation. Jack sighed.

"They destroyed the equipment?" Jack asked, trying to change the topic a little.

"Yes."

Jack nodded. "Listen, we're gonna figure this out, but don't do any…"

"I will do what I need to do to find the man responsible." Jack sighed, wanting to reason with him, but, knowing it was useless, kept his mouth shut.

"We need some help over here!" I turned and saw Shannon, struggling to hold up the weight of Boone, who was bleeding around the mouth and nose.

"Oh my God," I said, rushing to help her.

I put my arm around him, as Jack took the other side. We helped him up to the chair where Sayid had been sitting and sat him down.

"Ow… ow," Boone groaned. I let him go and grabbed the hydrogen peroxide Jack had recently put down, and some gauze.

"What happened?" Jack said, worried, but mildly calm. I handed him the gauze and we looked at Boone, who had turned around. He looked at me, then down at his hands, and back at Jack.

"Sawyer." My stomach turned. I looked at Jack, hoping for something. I didn't really know what I wanted from him- a warm smile maybe? Some pity, or comfort? Whatever I wanted, I didn't get it. I looked down and swallowed, although my throat felt dry and parched. Sayid turned and looked at Jack, who was lost for words.

* * *

"Ah, Jack, it's fine, it's just a scrape," Boone said, cringing from the sting of the peroxide.

"Yeah, lots of scrapes today," Jack said. "I'm gonna run out of peroxide…"

"He just jumped me, man…"

"Why?" Jack asked. Boone looked up at him, almost afraid to tell him why. He looked to me, then back at Jack.

"Shannon has asthma," He said, looking down at the seat.

"Asthma?" Jack asked, kind of confused by his answer.

"Yeah."

"Never seen her have an attack before," Jack added.

"Because she had an inhaler. She sneaks it when no one's looking, she's been embarrassed by it since she was a little kid," Boone said. I pulled his head back until it was resting on my stomach, and I patted some of the bleeding skin with my gauze. "Guess breathing's not cool." I laughed a little. Jack sighed.

"Had an inhaler?" Jack asked. Boone looked back down at Jack.

"I ran out a couple days ago. But I had four refills, which should've been enough for a couple months, but she always forgets her medications, so I put it in my suitcase! Today I see that jackass reading Watership Down…"

"You're losing me," Jack said, trying to calm Boone a little. It didn't seem to work.

"It was in my bags, the stuff that I checked. If he has my book, he has my luggage, he has my luggage, he has the inhalers." Jack looked off to the side. I could tell he didn't want to start anything with Sawyer, and I didn't blame him. I wouldn't either. "He breathing got really rough today, man. If she has an attack… it's not gonna be good." Boone looked somewhat frightened, and kept looking over at Shannon. It was obvious by the look on her face that she knew what was going on, and that Boone was trying to help her. Jack looked at me.

"Come here," He said. I left Boone and followed Jack a few feet away. "Boone's hurt," He said. I nodded. "But Shannon's the one I'm worried about." I looked over at her. She looked nervous. "I'm going to try to get those inhalers off of Sawyer." He pointed at Boone. "Make sure he and Shannon stay here. Together." I nodded, and walked back to Boone.

"Where's he going?" Boone asked.

"To talk to Sawyer…"

"I'm going with him," He said, trying to get up. I pulled him back down.

"No, you're not, Boone."

"Why not?" I looked over at Shannon. He turned around slowly, stared at her a second, then looked back at me.

"What's going to happen when you're not there and she has an attack?" I asked him. He looked around, frustrated, then sat back down. "I know you're mad. But you can't just attack him. Let Jack handle it. Enough people have been hurt." He looked at me, almost apologetically.

"Go," He said.

"What?"

"I can't leave Shannon, you're right, but I want you to make sure she gets her inhalers," He said.

"Why me?"

"I trust you. And he trusts you. You'd be able to get them before anyone else," He told me. I wanted some excuse to not go, and to stay with Boone and Shannon, but he was right. "Please go." I looked at my hands, then over at Shannon. I smiled, and looked back at Boone.

"Stay here with her." He nodded. I got up and ran back in the direction Jack left. He was probably back at the beach by now, but I could catch up. I ran through the trees and bushes. My feet almost slid onto the soft sand. I looked at the tent that Sawyer had taken- the same one that the marshal had died in. He wasn't there. I saw Jack, standing by the ocean's edge, hands on his hips.

"Jack!" I hollered, as I ran over to him. He turned around, almost mad that I hadn't stayed with Boone.

"What are you doin' here?" He asked me.

"Where's Sawyer? I need to talk to him," I said.

"You need to go back…"

"Where's Sawyer, Jack?" I said, getting angry. He sighed and looked at the sand. He slowly pointed over to his right. I looked over and saw Kate talking to him from a short distance. I hurried over, trying to get to Sawyer before Kate made it too hard to get the inhalers back. I got over close enough to hear what they were saying. Sawyer was chopping wood, and Kate was leaning against the tree.

"Seen me what?" Sawyer asked her.

"With that piece of paper. The one you keep in your pocket. I've seen the expression on your face when you read it, and how carefully you fold it up… it means something to you. So you can play games all you want, but I know there's a human being in there somewhere. Give me the medication." Kate said. I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but I could tell from Sawyer's face that he was upset.

"Think you understand me?" Sawyer asked, putting down the axe.

"Yeah. I think I have…"

"Shut up!" He said, turning around. I hurried behind Kate before he turned all the way around, and hid behind a tree. I listened to him carefully. "You wanna know what kind of human bein' I am?" I turned and looked around the tree. Sawyer held a piece of paper in his hand. "Read it." Kate looked at the paper. Sawyer shoved it into her hand and looked up quickly. I threw myself back behind the tree. I had hoped Sawyer didn't see me, but I didn't know. "Read it. Out loud." Kate unfolded the crumpled up paper.

"Dear Mr. Sawyer, you don't know who I am, but I know who you are, and I know what you done. You had sex with my mother, and then you stole my dad's money all away. So he got angry, and then he killed my mother… and then he killed himself, too…"

"Don't stop now," Sawyer said. "You're getting' to the good part." I kept behind the tree, eyes closed. I had never heard this before. I had never known this.

"All I know is your name," Kate continued. "But one of these days, I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna give you this letter so you'll remember what you done to me. You killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer." I heard the paper ruffle up.

"Now about that kiss," I heard Sawyer say. "Didn't think so." Everything was quiet for a second. I looked around the tree, to see Sawyer standing with the axe in his hand, and Kate standing quietly. She hurried off quickly, and I stood behind the tree. I wanted Sawyer to see me, to know that I now knew what he did. I stood there quietly. Sawyer dropped the axe and stood still, looking down at the logs he had cut. I walked out from behind the tree, trying to leave quietly. I stepped on a small twig, and Sawyer turned around quickly. I stared at him, not knowing what to say. He stared back at me, then looked down at his feet.

"How long you been back there, Sandiego?" He said, his nervousness apparent to me in his voice.

"Too long," I said. I stepped quietly out of the jungle and onto the sand. He looked up at me.

"You wantin' those damn inhalers, too?" He asked, turning and picking up his axe. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"Sawyer…"

"What?" He yelled, turning around. A tear rolled down my cheek, and his angry frown quickly faded to an upset grimace. He turned back to the logs and started chopping again. I wanted to say something, but no words came. I walked away quickly, and into the jungle. There was only one thing I wanted right now, and that was Boone.

* * *

Shannon took in deep breaths, and her face was flushed with her constant coughing. Boone had her hand on her back, and I sat on the opposite side, holding her hand. Jack had been searching for something to help her with for the past ten minutes, and had yet to find anything. I looked over to Jack, who had just dumped out another duffle to find nothing. He shook his head, and looked up. He looked past my head. I slowly turned to see Sawyer, holding a water bottle and heading towards the creek. I looked back at Jack, who was getting up. I pulled my hand away from Shannon and turned to the creek where Sawyer was.

"Give me the inhalers," Jack demanded. "Now." Sawyer stood up.

"Hell, was wondering when you were gonna stop askin' nice," Sawyer started, holding his water bottle. Jack swung his arm around, and punched him right where he held his water bottle at his lips. Sawyer stood up. I sat up, my back erect. Jack had hurt his arm by hitting him, and held it in pain. I didn't want either of them to get hurt.

"'Well, it's about time, Cowboy. Been tellin' you since day one we were in the wild. Didn't think you had it in ya." Jack swung his arm around again, and hit him a little higher, around the nose. Sawyer sat up after wiping away some of the blood from his face. I stood up.

"That all you got?" Sawyer begged, wanting Jack to scare everyone even more.

"Jack!" I yelled to him. He looked at me. Shannon had stopped her breathing, and we all stared at Jack. The Korean couple were close together, afraid he might hit them, confused at why we were fighting. Sawyer stared at Jack. He shook his head and walked towards me. I stared at Sawyer for a moment. He only stared at me, blood running down from his mouth. I slowly sat back down, and turned towards Shannon. After a little while, Sawyer walked past me. I wanted to follow him, but I didn't. What would I say? What would I do? I held Shannon's hand, trying to distract myself from the stomach ache that hadn't gone away.

* * *

"Help! She's not breathing!" Boone yelled. I looked away from Hurley and watched Jack run up to Shannon. "The attacks are getting worse!" I hurried over and stood on the other side of Shannon.

"Shannon, listen to me… look at me, look at me. You need to listen, now. This isn't just the asthma, it's anxiety. It's in your head…"

"No…"

"Yes, you know that your medicine's run out, and you're panicking. Shannon! Shannon, look at me. Now we can fight this, together, okay? Nod your head, Shannon," Jack asked her. She nodded quickly. "Good, breathe in…"

"She needs her inhaler!" Boone yelled.

"Boone! Breathe in through the nose, slowly," Jack told her. She kept breathing, terrified, through her mouth. "No, no, no, in through the nose, like this." Jack took a quick breath through his nose to show her. "You can do this, Shannon. You can do it! In through the nose." Shannon took in one last breath and released through her nose. She kept breathing slowly through her nose. "You got your breath, your color's comin' back, see! I knew you could do this! You feel it? It's passing!"

"Yeah," Shannon said.

"Okay, again," Jack said. Shannon kept breathing through her nose. Jack nudged Boone's shoulder and they got up. I stayed next to Shannon.

"Good job, Shannon. You're doing great," I told her. She smiled a little, but focused on her breathing. Boone came back quickly. "Where's Jack going?"

"Didn't say," Boone said. I knew he was going to go after Sawyer. I looked after him, and saw Sayid follow quickly.

"They're going after Sawyer," I said plainly.

"Good." I turned to Boone.

"Boone, they're going to hurt him," I said.

"Carmen, he jumped me! Shannon could be in real trouble without those inhalers! And you're worried about him?" Boone asked. I shook my head.

"I know he did something wrong, but that doesn't justify hurting him!" I yelled. I got up quickly and ran out into the jungle, hearing him holler after me. I ran towards the beach, hoping they wouldn't do anything there, in front of all those people. I reached the beach after what seemed too long, and ran to his tent. No one was there, but there was blood on the chair he normally sat in. I ran out of the tent and back into the jungle. I heard a grunt far off. I looked around. All of a sudden screams. And they were Sawyer's.

"Sayid!" I heard Jack yell. I ran towards the screams. I could hear them whispering quieter.

"Okay!" Sawyer screamed. I knew I was getting closer. I ran closer, until I heard Kate talking quietly. I slowed down. I was there. I looked around a tree, to see Kate standing in front of Sawyer who was kneeling on the ground, tied to a tree. He looked like he was in pain. Kate knelt down in front of him and stared at him, and slowly kissed him. I looked away, uncomfortable at staring at Sawyer, who was like a good friend to me, making out with some woman.

"What?" I heard Kate ask, angrily.

"The book washed up on shore…" I couldn't hear what else they said, but it was obvious that he didn't have the medicines. I heard Kate hit Sawyer. I looked out from behind the tree and saw Kate walking away. I ran out from behind the tree. Sawyer turned and saw me.

"What are you doin' here, Sandie…"

"Shut up, Sawyer," I said. I knelt down behind him and worked at untying the binds around his wrists. "You are a God damned asshole, Sawyer, but you don't deserve to be tortured like this," I finished. The twine around his wrists was tied tightly, and I didn't do much else than loosen it. "I can't get it…"

"He destroyed the transceiver!" Sayid yelled. He came hurrying in front of us with a knife in his hand. I stood up quickly.

"Sayid, stop! He doesn't have them! Leave him alone!" Sayid ran towards me. I heard Sawyer behind me, and all of a sudden, Sawyer knocked me to the ground, and when I looked up, all I could see was Sawyer and Sayid rolling around on the ground, attacking each other.

"Hey!" Jack yelled.

"Sawyer!" I screamed. Sawyer screamed in pain. Sayid sat up, and all I could see was the knife in Sawyer's arm. Sayid got up quickly, and Jack looked at it. He pulled the knife out quickly, and blood spurted everywhere.

"He hit an artery… keep still damn it," Jack said, trying to put pressure on the bleeding. "Sayid, I need my stuff from the caves, my leather backpack!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" I wanted to cry.

"Carmen, go with him, go!" I turned around and ran towards the caves. I ran faster than Sayid did, and ran into someone on my way in. I jumped over and around Shannon, and picked up a bag with peroxide and gauze in it.

"Whose blood is that?" I turned around to see Boone. "Whose blood is that?"

"Sawyer," Sayid said.

"Sayid, let's go!" I yelled.

"Boone? Don't leave me alone, okay?" Shannon asked. Boone walked back over to her. She was like a child.

"Sayid, we need to go," I said. We ran back towards Jack as fast as we could. I dropped the bag as fast as I could and pushed Kate aside so I could be next to him.

"He alright?" I asked Jack. He picked up some gauze and peroxide, and bandages.

"He passed out, but he's still alive," He said, busy taping up his arm. I hated how he said it like it was a miracle that he was still alive. I got my face close to his, and let a tear fall onto his cheek. I looked back up at Jack.

"I'm sorry," I said, crying. "If I hadn't untied him… this wouldn't have happened…"

"Carmen, I need your help," Jack said, ignoring me. I moved around Sawyer, and put pressure down on his arm as I cried onto him.

* * *

Kate walked out of Sawyer's tent. I walked close to him, and hesitated outside of his tent.

"You gonna come in, or just stand there?" He asked, looking at the tarp above his bed.

"Why did you lie?" I asked him. He just stared up at the tarp. "Was it because I've been around Boone more than you?" He laughed and looked at me.

"What do you think, I'm four?" He asked. I just stared at him, a frown on my face. He lost his smile quickly.

"If you'd just talk to me once in a while, open up to me a little, maybe I'd find it easier to be around you." He just stared at me. I turned and started to walk away.

"Hey!" Sawyer said. I turned and looked back at him. "You untying me earlier… kinda brings back memories, don't it?" He smiled. I smiled back at him.

"Try to get some rest," I told him. I turned and walked out of the tent.


	9. Solitary

Yay! We're almost half way through season one!! COOL!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost- yet.

* * *

"Ew! Get him out of there!" Shannon screamed. My eyes opened to see Shannon yelling at the dog, who had been drinking from the creek. I sighed and sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"You okay?" Boone asked me. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah, just… tired," I said, looking back down at my knees. Boone sat next to me and stared at me.

"Still having those dreams?" He asked me. I nodded slowly. For the past few nights, I couldn't sleep. I kept having the same dream. A blonde woman was screaming, and a man kept hitting her, and a baby was crying. It was a really frightening dream, and every time I had the dream, I couldn't go back to sleep- which was why I was so tired. "Do you think they mean anything?" Boone asked.

"Who knows," I said, taking a sip of water from the bottle at my feet. "I don't really care. I just want so God damned sleep." We laughed a little.

"Well, try to get some sleep," Boone said, standing up.

"You too!" I yelled after him. I laid back down, and rest my head on the small airline pillow, closing my eyes until any light from the fires around me had died.

* * *

_"Help!" The woman screamed. A man around her yelled._

_"Get off! Help! Stop!" He yelled. The other man hit him hard. He was bleeding. Blood covered everyone. The blonde woman screamed as the man held her hands together and bound them. He had a needle and pushed it into her skin. She screamed louder, praying, and swearing at the same time. Her screams faded, though, and she was nearly unconscious. Everything looked hazy, and I couldn't see anything. The man looked up, and all I heard was running. And then a scream from a girl. My own scream._

* * *

I sat up quickly in my bed and looked around. The fires had died, and everyone was asleep. I laid back down, and looked up at the trees canopying over me. I closed my eyes, and prayed I would fall back asleep. I knew I wouldn't, though.

* * *

I slipped on my left shoe, and tied it quickly. The sneakers were more comfortable, now that I had worn them in. I walked over to where Michael was showing something on a notepad to Jack.

"What're you doing?" I asked them. They looked up at me.

"Michael… he drew out this great aqua duct. Looks good," Jack said.

"Hey guys!" Charlie yelled to us. I turned around. "Hurley's all worked up about something. Said we should come see it." We followed Charlie out of the caves and into a part of the jungle that consisted only of taller grass and rolling hills.

"Welcome!" Hurley yelled out to us. He was holding a bamboo stick in one hand with a floral shirt on it, and had golf clubs in the other. "To the first and, hopefully, last Island Open!"

"What?" Jack asked, not sure he understood.

"It's two holes, for now, three par, and no waiting!" Hurley said, excited about his creation.

"Hurley… you built a golf course?" Jack asked, still in disbelief.

"Rich idiots fly to tropical islands all the time to whack balls around!" Hurley reminded us.

"All the stuff we gotta deal with, man… this is what you've been spending your time on?" Michael complained. I laughed a little.

"Dudes, listen! Our lives suck! Everyone's nerves are stretched to the max. I mean, we're lost on an island, runnin' from boars, and monsters… freakin' polar bears!" He laughed.

"Polar Bears?"

"You didn't hear about the Polar Bear?"

"Look, all I'm sayin' is if we're stuck here, then just surviving's not gonna cut it. We need some kinda relief, you know? We need some way that we can… you know, have fun! That's right, fun! Or else we're gonna go crazy just waiting for the next bad thing to happen!" Jack and Michael looked at each other skeptically. I laughed a little.

"I'm game!" I said.

"I'm up for it, Hurley, how 'bout you two?" Charlie looked to Jack and Michael. They shook their heads and walked towards Hurley.

"Yeah!" I yelled, running up the hill.

"So, how we gonna do this?" Jack asked.

"You and Michael on a team, cause you're skeptical, uptight losers, and Charlie and Hurley, cause they're cool," I suggested.

"Oye, what about you?" Charlie asked.

"I suck at golf, no one wants me on their team," I laughed. "I'll be the cady!"

"Fair enough," Michael said. Everyone grabbed a club, and, for once, everyone around me was smiling and having fun.

* * *

Everyone was there. Boone, Shannon, Kate… everyone wanted to come out and see the great Dr. Jack play golf. Hurley sucked pretty bad- I probably could've done better than him, but it was fun to watch.

"Aw, crap, do over!" Hurley said, after hitting the ground with his golf club.

"It's a mulligan, mulligan. It's a gentleman's sport, you gotta get the words right: mulligan," Charlie instructed. Charlie walked behind Hurley and tried to show him how to golf.

"Dude, get off me!" Hurley demanded. We all laughed as he hit the ground again with his golf club.

* * *

"I've never made par on a course before," Charlie informed us, as he his last ball towards the hole, and missed and screamed.

"Jack, it's up to you. Sink this, and you'll get to wear the blazer!" Michael rubbed his hands together.

"No pressure," Kate said softly.

"Yeah, no pressure," Charlie whispered, handing his golf club to Jack.

"Five bucks says he sinks it," Hurley whispered.

"Mate, you're betting against me?" Charlie asked, nearly offended.

"Sorry, dude, but you're a duffer like me," Hurley said, staring at Jack.

"Make it ten, and you're on," Boone yelled to him.

"I don't have any cash, but I'll bet my dinner on the doc," Sullivan said. Everyone "oo-ed" at his impressive bet. We'd been having so much fun- it was easy to laugh right now.

"I got two tubes of sunscreen and a flashlight says he chokes," Sawyer said. I turned to see him, smiling smugly at his appearance. No one really smiled but me. I was happy to see him doing something we all liked- maybe he was making a change for the better?

"I'll take that action," Kate said, kind of softly, like she wasn't completely assured of her decision.

"Yeah," Boone said behind me, smiling at me. "Yeah, me too."

"You just bet on Jack, dumbass," Shannon reminded him.

"We need sunscreen, princess," Boone smiled at her.

"Me too," I added. Sawyer's smile spread across his face as I laughed. We all stared at Jack, waiting for his move.

"Dude, you choked," Hurley said, shocked.

"Ah, the great doctor falls," Sawyer laughed.

"So there, Hurley! 'At's what you get for bettin' against me!" Charlie laughed. I walked over to Sawyer.

"Happy?" I asked him. He laughed.

"You ain't got no clue," He chuckled. He put his arm around my shoulders, and we walked back down the hill.

"Thanks for coming," I said, leaning my head against the side of his chest.

"What, miss a doc playin' golf? Never heard such nonsense," Sawyer laughed. I wrapped my arm around his back.

"Thank you," I smiled up at him. He looked down at me and smiled back. We looked at the jungle a while before we went into it, though, like we were afraid of being separated. I just leaned on him, and he kept me close to him. I smiled warmly. Sawyer, my Sawyer, was back.

**Yay, sweet ending! I know this one was shorter, but don't worry! IT'S ALL GOOOOD!!**


	10. Raised by Another

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost.**

I stepped out onto the warm beach sand. I slowly walked over to Sawyer's tent, where he was sitting and reading Watership Down.

"Still reading that book, huh?" I asked him, setting down my backpack.

"It's about bunnies," He told me. I laughed.

"Good to know," I smiled and sat down next to him.

"You tired?" He asked me.

"What?"

"You got dark circles, under your eyes," He said. I laughed a little. "Tired?"

"I haven't slept very well the past few nights," I told him.

"Bad dreams?" He asked, putting his book down.

"You could say that," I said.

"What's it about?" He asked, turning towards me. I told him about the dream I'd kept having. The one with the blonde woman, and the man with the needle, and the baby crying. "Kinda freaky," He said after a while. I stared at my hands.

"Yeah."

"You don't think," Sawyer started. I looked up at him. "it has anything to do with Morgan, do you?" I looked away and back up at him.

"But I mean… who was the blonde woman, and… it just doesn't make any sense to me," I said.

"Maybe it's just a dream," Sawyer assured me. "Don't worry about it." I smiled. He was right. But the dream… it was unlike any I'd ever had. It scared me more than anything else.

* * *

A woman screamed. I shot out of my bed to see Claire hitting Charlie, scared and screaming. She stumbled backwards as Charlie caught her hands.

"Hey, it's okay! You were dreaming. You were sleepwalking," He said. I walked over to Claire, who was crying, and I looked down at her hands. "Claire… what happened?"

* * *

I woke up to the daylight piercing my eyes. Jack was bandaging Claire's hands at his little medical station. I sat up and put on my shoes and socks. I looked at Claire and watched her smiling and talking to Jack. Her scream- it was a lot like the one from the woman in my dream. And she was blonde. And pregnant- that would explain the crying baby. The man with her- maybe it was Charlie. But the other man- the one with the needle… I still didn't get it. Maybe I was just thinking too much. I picked up my backpack and headed towards the beach. Maybe Sawyer would have a boring book I could read.

* * *

Claire screamed loudly, and I jumped off my bed.

"What happened!" I yelled. She made me nervous after this morning.

"He held me down!"

"Which way did her go?" Hurley asked.

"I don't know, I couldn't see!" she cried.

"How long ago?"

"What's going on?"

"Just now! He just ran away!"

"We should fan out, and check the surrounding caves!" Charlie suggested.

"Wait, wait, hold on!"

"Hurley, come on, let's go!"

Jack sighed and looked to Claire, "Come on, come on, let's sit down her, okay?"

I turned around quickly to a man that was standing there. "Can you get some water?"

"Yeah, sure," He said.

"Claire, look at me, it's okay. You're safe now," Jack told her.

"Did you get a look at him, at all?" Michael asked her.

"No, it was dark, I couldn't see," She told him.

"Where did this happen?" Jack asked her.

"It was here! I mean, I was sleeping and I woke up, and… he was trying to hurt my baby! He had this, this thing, like a needle, and he stabbed me with it! He was trying to hurt my baby!"

"It's okay, it's okay," Jack assured her. I sat next to Claire and held her hand.

"It's alright, Claire," I told her. This was my dream. A man with a needle, and Claire… but Charlie wasn't there when it happened, and he didn't get hurt…

* * *

"Did you see anyone leave the beach last night?" Charlie asked Kate.

"People come and go, but I… no, I don't know," She said, looking to Jack. "What?"

"I'm not sure anything actually happened," Jack said.

"Wait, what?" Charlie asked, dumbfounded.

"Claire told Michael and I that this attacker tried to inject her with something. But there was no mark on her stomach. She wakes up two nights in a row screaming, the first time, she was sleepwalking!" Jack explained.

"You think she's making this up? She was terrified, man!" Charlie yelled.

"Look, she said that the guy was trying to hurt her baby. Why would someone do that now, with all of us sleeping twenty feet away?" Jack yelled.

"So you think she's lying?" Charlie said, angry at Jack's accusations.

Jack backfired, "No! Pregnant women have extremely lucid…"

"Lucid, right…"

"These are textbook anxiety nightmares!"

"You know everything that's going on with everyone, huh?"

"Hey," Kate interrupted. "So what do we do?"

"Claire's due in a little more than a week, maybe two. But if she stays stressed out like this or has another panic attack, it could trigger an early labor. Out here with no instruments, no monitors, no anesthetic… that would not be good."

"It's not all in her head," Charlie said, storming off. I followed him.

"Charlie!"

"What? You here to talk more of Jack's logic into me?"

"No, Charlie, I need to tell you something!" I yelled. He stopped and looked at me.

"What?"

"I've been having this dream…"

"Oh, come on, Carmen…"

"Charlie, listen!" I yelled at him. He looked at me, somewhat annoyed.

"I think Claire's in trouble… and I think you are, too," I told him.

"What do you mean?"

"I have this dream, and Claire's there, and a baby's crying, and she's stabbed with a needle…"

"Carmen, I don't have time for this, alright?" Charlie said, storming off into the woods.

"Charlie, wait!" He was gone. I ran to Sawyer's tent.

"Sawyer, I think Claire and Charlie are in trouble," I told him.

"Slow down, road runner, what?"

"My dream, Sawyer! It's Claire, and Charlie!" I told him.

"What about that other guy?"

"I don't know yet… but Claire and Charlie are gonna get hurt, I just know."

"Relax, Carmen, it was just a dream. Take this," He said, pulling a pill bottle out from a bag.

"What is it?"

"Valium. Help you relax," He said.

"I don't need to relax, Sawyer!" I yelled, leaving the tent. I ran back to the caves, feeling sick and scared. I got there to see Claire's bags gone, and Sayid lying on the medical bench, bleeding. I dropped my bag and ran over to help Jack with his wounds.

"I found her! The French woman!"

"I need some water," Jack told me. I ran over to the creek and filled up a bottle, running it back to Jack.

"We're not alone!" Sayid said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"There are other people… she calls them 'the others,'" Sayid said.

"He needs to relax," Jack told me. I took his hand and helped him relax.

"We got a problem," Hurley said, dropping his bag and kneeling down next to Jack. "The manifest… Jack! The census, the names of everyone who survived, all forty six of us. I interviewed everyone… here, at the beach, I got their names. One of them… one of them isn't… Jack!" Jack turned to face him. "One of them wasn't in the manifest. He wasn't on the plane."

**Hehe, enjoy!**


	11. All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

**Okay, I'm doing my first flashback in this one- yay!!**

_"Did you have fun?" Josh smiled._

_"Yeah… surprisingly, I did," I replied. He wrapped his arm around me and held me close to him. I sighed. The party wasn't really fun, but he danced with me when his friends were being assholes about it, so I didn't want to disappoint him. I did have fun with him._

_"Do you need to be home by a certain time?" He asked me. I shook my head no, even though my parents said 11:00. It was already 12:00. They'd be mad, but I was having too much fun to care. I looked into his eyes, and kissed him on the lips. He pulled me close to him, and rubbed his hands down my back. I knew what I was feeling- I wanted to have sex with him. I was already in trouble enough, so I might as well take it to the limit. I pulled away from him and pulled my shirt up._

_"Wait," He said. "Are you sure you want to?" I smiled and pulled my shirt off from around my neck and pushed myself into him. He undid his belt and I could feel myself, ready to give him anything. And I gave him everything._

* * *

"He wasn't on the plane!" Hurley said again.

"Who wasn't on the plane?"

"Ethan! The Canadian guy! He's not on the passenger manifest!"

"Where the hell is he?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, I saw him yesterday, but now…"

"Has anyone seen Ethan…"

"Sayid's leg!"

"Has anyone seen Ethan?"

"Yeah, yeah, he went to get some wood. Took off on the path to the beach…" I looked at Jack, scared. He knew as well as I did: Claire and Charlie were in danger.

"Where's Charlie?"

"He went after Claire," John said. John took off behind Jack and they ran into the woods. I finished wrapping Sayid's leg and grabbed my backpack.

"Where are you going?" I turned around to see Sayid, fighting to hold his own head up.

"To find Claire," I said quietly.

"Don't…"

"You need to relax, Sayid," I told him, and took off into the woods in a different direction than Jack and John. I ran through the woods, crying as I went and looking every direction. I reached an open expanse and stopped, trying to hear something, anything. It took a while, but I heard a twig break. And then another. And more, followed by the ruffling of leaves. And then whispers… I heard people whispering all around me.

"Sawyer?" I yelled. I knew it wasn't him, but I wanted it to be. I turned in circles, trying to see someone, know where to run. I stopped, and turned my head.

"Who are you?!" I screamed. Something hit my head, and after that… darkness.

* * *

_"Where have you been?" My mom screamed._

_"A party."_

_"Party my ass! Carmen, it's four in the morning! No call, nothing! We almost called the police!"_

_"That would've been fun," I said._

_"What the hell were you thinking? Your father's out right now, looking for you!"_

_"Yippy skippy!"_

_"Carmen, go to your room!"_

_"Where else would I go?" I went up the stairs and slammed the door. I laid down on my bed. Even though my mom was screaming at me, it had been a great night. Lost my virginity with a guy that I love, and had an awesome party. I closed my eyes and slept easily. Things were somehow perfect._

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly. The back of my head was throbbing and was wet. My hands were behind me, and someone was pulling on them. I turned to see Ethan. I screamed a little bit.

"Where's Claire! Let me go! Please! Help!" I screamed. Ethan punched me hard across the cheek, and for a moment my whole body felt numb.

"I'll be back for you when I can," He said. I spit blood out of my mouth and felt tears fall down my cheeks. He pulled tightly on the twine around my wrists and came around in front of me. He smiled in a friendly like way. "Till then, you can just stay right here." His smile went away and he hit me across the face again. I fell back against the tree and let blood fall out of my mouth. I watched Ethan grab something from somewhere behind a tree. He pulled Claire out from behind it.

"Claire!" I screamed. She was unconscious. "Claire, wake up! Claire, please, Claire! Claire!"

It was raining. My throat hurt from screaming. I pulled my arms down, trying to loosen my wrists. Nothing had worked, though. Suddenly, I heard the whispers again. I stopped pulling at my wrists, and looked to my right, and all around me. I was as quiet as I could be, scared to death that they were here for me. Tears dropped down my cheeks and I pulled my head away from the tree. A branch was pushed aside to my left, and I looked to see Michael. His orange shirt was soaked in the rain.

"Michael… Michael!" I cried.

"Oh my God, Carmen, what're you..." Michael ran to my wrists and cut them free. "What are you doing here?"

"Thank you!" I screamed, getting up and throwing my arms around him. "Ethan, he was here, and he had Claire! And he was coming back! He was coming back!" I cried. Michael put his arms back around me as I cried.

* * *

_I sat down on the counter as I held the test in one hand and the box in the other. I waited for the timer to ring. I closed my eyes and waited._

_"Okay, I'm here," Josh said, knocking on the bathroom door. I opened the door and he came in. "Did it…"_

_"Not yet." We waited._

_"Carmen, I want you to know… if you are… I still love you," He told me. I smiled nervously. The bell rang behind me. My heart might've stopped beating at that moment. I stared at Josh, and he stared at me. I turned the stick over, to see two pink lines._

_"Oh my God…" I looked up at Josh. "I'm pregnant."_

* * *

We walked back into the caves, Michael's arm around me.

"Dad!" Walt yelled, running back to him.

"I'm fine," I told him. He let me go and hugged Walt.

"They got Charlie back, but he hasn't said anything since he came back," He said.

"They find Claire?" Walt shook his head. After a moment, Jack walked to me.

"You okay?" He asked. I nodded. "You saw him?" I nodded again. "What happened?"

"I heard whispers… something knocked me out. He tied me to a tree, and told me he was coming back for me. He has Claire, Jack. I saw her," I told him. He nodded.

"I'm glad you're okay," He said. "Don't do it again." I laughed and watched as he left. I held me knees to my chest and took a deep breath out.

**Review please!!**


	12. Whatever the Case May Be

**Guys, I'm excited, aren't you? I wrote four episodes yesterday!! I'm excited! Okay, enjoy this one!**

**DISCLAIMER: LOST OWNS ME, but I don't own Lost.**

"Someone go grab that bag!" I yelled. Scott ran down to the water and grabbed the bag before the waves could pull it too far away. I picked up a backpack and slung it over my shoulder, and grabbed a suitcase in my other hand.

"Got it?" I heard behind me. I turned to see Boone. I nodded. He ran ahead of me and disappeared behind a pile of wreckage. I put the bags down and ran up to him.

"Boone!" I called. He turned.

"Yeah?"

"Where have you been?" I asked him, closer now.

"What?"

"I haven't seen you much in the past few days… you disappear at sunrise and you're asleep as soon as the sun goes down. I was just wondering… what you've been doing?" I asked. He looked around, as if trying to think of an excuse, and then down at his feet. He took a breath, then looked up at me.

"We've been looking for Claire."

"We?"

"John and I… we've been looking for Claire," He repeated. I nodded. I didn't feel so assured, but I smiled.

"Okay," I told him. He smiled a little, but it seemed to fade quickly. He turned and walked away before I could say anything else. I turned around and saw Charlie, sitting on a small hill of sand, staring out at the ocean. I looked down at the ground, and then back up at him, my feet slowly moving towards him. "Hi, Charlie," I called. I knew this whole situation was a lot harder for him than it was for me. He just kept staring out at the ocean. I stood next to him for a moment, waiting for him to look at me. He didn't though, so I sat down next to him. "How are you feeling?" Charlie didn't move, but stared out at the ocean. We sat together for a moment in silence.

"You were right," He said finally. I turned to look at him.

"Sorry?"

"Your dream," He said. "You were right… I should've listened to you."

We sat together quietly. I didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," I told him. He continued to stare out at the sea. I stood up slowly and started to walk away.

* * *

"What do those plants do?" I asked Jack. He turned to see the Sun putting plants on a small shelf. He shook his head, and walked over to her.

"So… uh," Jack started. Sun looked up to him. "What is this… what is it for?" Sun answered him in Korean. Jack shook his head, and Sun nodded, understanding that he had no idea what she meant. She put her fingers to her temples, and started playing like she was in pain. "A headache," He said, like it was a game of charades. She nodded and we all smiled at her. "Oh, cool. All right."

"Jack," Kate said. I turned around to see her. She looked kind of panicked. "We got a problem."

"We have a problem, or… you have a problem?" Jack asked her, smiling a little. Kate was very serious. She looked at me, and then lowered her voice to a whisper.

"Don't mind me," I said, standing up and walking away. I stood by the small creek and looked at the rocks. Sun came up behind me. "Smart," I told her. She looked at me, kind of confused. I pointed to the plant, and then stuck my thumb up. "Good job," I said with a smile. She smiled very wide, put the plant down, and then walked off into the jungle. I looked over to Jack and Kate, who were still whispering. I walked into the jungle, following Sun. "Sun, wait!" I yelled, catching up to her. "How are you?" I asked slowly. She smiled again. "Jack and Kate are… plotting again." I laughed, and she kept the same smile on her face. "Kate's always seemed… off to me. Like she's hiding something, you know?" I asked, looking to her. She nodded quickly, and I froze in my steps. She looked back at me quickly. "Do you… understand me?" She slowly turned back in front of her and started walking again. I ran in front of her. "You do! You… you understand me!" She looked down at the ground.

"Don't tell anyone," She said slowly.

"Oh my God… you speak English? Why didn't you say anything?" I asked excitedly.

"My husband doesn't know… he would be very upset," She told me grimly.

"Why?" I asked. "If he loves you, why would it matter?" she looked down at her feet again.

"Things are different," She said softly. She stared at her feet, embarrassed.

"Hey," I said. She looked up at me quickly. "I won't tell. I promise." She smiled. We slowly walked through the jungle and back to the beach.

* * *

We all walked up the beach, holding bags that were ours, and bags that weren't. The group seemed to settle on a spot on the edge of the jungle. I put down the suitcase and backpack that were mine, and handed the other suitcase to it's owner.

"Thank you," Dr. Arzt said.

"Anytime," I reminded him. I sat down on the plane seats that were my bed that I dragged over earlier, under the tarp that was my roof.

"Carmen?" Someone asked above me. I raised my head to see Sun, smiling over me.

"Yes?" She sat down next to me and looked out in front of her. I followed her gaze to see Jin, cooking a fish over an open fire.

"He does love me, I believe," She said softly, hiding her voice from anyone around. "It is only a different kind." We sat together in silence. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"I believe he loves you, too, Sun." She smiled back at me, and looked out at her husband. I put my hand down behind me, and watched him as well. He looked up at us, and saw Sun, sitting next to me. "Go ahead," I told her. She smiled again, and slowly got up, walking to her husband. I watched her sit down slowly, and her husband said something, looking at me once or twice. After a while, he sat down with her, and put his arm around her, giving her the fish he had just prepared. I smiled, and all of a sudden felt lonely. I laid down on my bed, and closed my eyes, ready for slumber to sweep me away.

**Don't forget to review!**


	13. Hearts and Minds

**Alright, guys, I know these chapters have been kinda short, but that's okay- every once in a while, I'll have a really long one. This will not be one of those! Have fun anyway!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lost.**

"Hey," I heard behind me. I turned, and saw Charlie, standing behind me only a short distance away. He walked closer to me.

"Hi," I replied hesitantly. Charlie approached me, looking around him carefully as he did.

"So, uh… we need to talk," He told me. He grabbed my arm and started pulling me off towards the edge of the jungle. We stepped through some leaves and twigs, and he jerked me to an abrupt stop, looking around to make sure we were alone.

"Everything okay, Charlie?" I asked him. He looked me in the eyes. He looked gravely serious, and almost threatening.

"Where is she?" He asked me solemnly.

"Sorry…"

"Claire, you know where she is. Tell me," He repeated. I narrowed my eyebrows.

"Charlie, I don't know…"

"Your dream!" He said louder. He quickly looked around himself to make sure no one was near. "You knew that she would be taken, where did they take her to?"

"Charlie, it's not like I can see the future. I had a weird dream- call it women's intuition. I can't just see where she is," I told him, but he wasn't satisfied.

"Carmen…"

"Hello, Charlie." We both turned, nervous and surprised, to see John Locke. He was smiling, a pocket knife in his hands.

"Hello, John," Charlie said, looking down at his feet and letting go of my arm. I started to walk away, angry at Charlie's behaviors, when Locke stopped me.

"Carmen, do you know where Boone is?" He asked. I looked out of the jungle, and pointed to where Boone was standing next to Sayid.

"He's talking to Sayid," I told him. He walked past me quickly and I followed.

"Carmen," Charlie said behind me. I turned over my shoulder and faced him. "I'm not done."

"I am," I said. I turned and continued out of the jungle, releasing a deep breath.

* * *

Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to see Sun. She looked around her and said something in Korean.

"Oh… um, let's go over here, Sun," I said quietly. I put my hand on her shoulder and led her through the jungle a little. We looked around ourselves, trying to see if anyone had followed. "What's up?" I asked. She looked at me.

"Kate knows," She said after a while. I stared at her.

"That you speak…"

"Yes." I nodded. "So does Michael," she continued. "He knew before you did." I nodded.

"Alright," I nodded. We walked a ways quietly.

"You and Boone," She said softly. I turned and looked at her. "You are very close." I laughed a little.

"He, uh… he saved me. When the plane crashed, he pulled me away from a wing of the plane that would've fallen on me… would've killed me," I told her. She nodded.

"He is a… very nice man," She said. I laughed.

"Yeah… he is," I replied. We walked a little while longer, quietly. After about ten minutes, I thought I heard something. I stopped.

"What is it?" Sun asked.

"Shh," I said, putting my finger to my lips. She was quiet, and I listened. I was waiting to hear whispers, but heard nothing. And then the breaking of twigs. I backed against Sun… they were coming closer. "Run," I told her.

"Who…"

"Run!" I yelled. And then they fell out of the trees. Boone looked up at me, his face bruised and battered. I sighed and frowned. "You jackass, you scared me to death." Sun said something in Korean. Boone ran at me and pushed me onto the ground.

"What did you mean?! Let her go! You stood there and watched her die!" He screamed.

"What are you talking about?" I yelled back. Sun screamed something in Korean.

"Shannon! You watched her die! You're working with Locke, aren't you! You let her die!" I rolled over and took the knife out from behind his back. I was lying on top of him, his knife in my hand. His arms held me close to him though. I angled the knife at his throat.

"Let me go," I told him. He was struggling, but let me go quickly. I jumped off of him and walked to Sun, who was standing there, scared to death. Jin ran out of the woods next to us and stared at me, and then Boone. He yelled something in Korean, and I lowered the knife. Sun said something in Korean, and then pulled him away towards the caves. Boone stood up slowly, tears in his eyes. "What are you talking about?" I asked again.

"You stood there… you watched as Shannon died in my arms… and you said, 'Let her go… and follow me,'" He said. I shook my head.

"Boone, I've been at the beach and the caves all day. What are you talking about? And… you said I was working with Locke?"

"Locke tied us up! It's Locke's fault that she's dead!" He yelled. I closed my eyes and took a breath. I hadn't seen Shannon all day.

"Come on… Locke's at the caves," I told him. We walked back quickly. "What killed her?" I asked, nervous to say anything, but needing to know.

"That thing, that… monster. The one that killed the pilot," He said. I nodded slowly. I sluing my hand back and put it against his chest, pointing with my other hand.

"There," I said pointing at Locke. Boone rushed past me and ran at him, pulling out his knife. "Boone!"

"It killed her!" Boone said. John got up, grabbing him and wrestling with him on the ground.

"You made it back…" Locke said, pushing against Boone's knife.

"That thing… killed my sister. It's your fault, you drug her out there!" Boone said, panting.

"Your sister?"

"Don't play dumb with me!"

"Calm down..."

"She died! In my arms…"

"Why is there no blood on you?" John asked. Boone looked down at himself. I hadn't thought of that before.

"What the hell… hell just happened to me out there?" Boone asked, scared.

"I don't know… I don't know, you tell me," Locke replied. John pushed Boone off of him, and on to the ground. "But your sister? Shannon?" He pointed to the creek. Both Boone and I looked over, to see her, talking casually with Sayid.

"She was dead…" Boone said, amazed at the sight of her.

"Is that… what it made you see?" John asked.

"What made me see?" Boone asked. I stared at John.

"Carmen, could you…"

"No," I said quickly. He was going to ask me to leave, and I needed to be here.

"Please," He said. I stared at him, wanting to hear. I knew Boone might tell me later, but it was so important. I walked away slowly before I'd really made up my mind. As I walked away, I could hear Boone say something about drugging him… but that was all.

**Yay! Interesting, huh? And where'd Carmen get those terrific fighting skills, hm? Keep reading!**


	14. Special

**Okay- this one should be fun. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lost.**

I sat on the rock, looking at everyone around me. Kate sat off on the side, rubbing a wet cloth around her neck. Boone and Locke were packing up their bags, preparing for another trip out to "hunt boar." I quickly glanced away when Boone looked up at me. I'd asked him earlier what happened last night, and he wouldn't tell me, as if it were no big deal. I turned and watched them walk out into the jungle. Walt ran behind them quickly. I looked up at the trees, shading us from the sun.

"Hey, Carmen," Charlie asked me. I looked to him.

"You seen Claire's bags?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Is this a trick question? I haven't had any dreams about them, if that's what you mean," I replied, sarcastically. Charlie looked at his feet and lowered his voice to a whisper.

"About that… I hadn't taken my medicine…"

"Medicine?"

"Jack… he gives me Valium? For my, uh… for my recovery?" He asked. It took me a second, but then I remembered- he was still recovering from withdrawal.

"Oh… right. Okay," I said, smiling a little.

"Right… but… have you seen them?" He asked.

"Oh, no. I haven't seen her bags," I said. I could hear someone yelling out in the woods. "What's going on?" I asked him. Charlie turned over his shoulder.

"Oh, that? Michael's lookin' for his son," He said. I remembered Walt, running through the woods after John and Boone. Charlie walked away, and I got up, jogging out of the caves and into the jungle beyond.

"Walt!" He yelled. He sounded angry.

"Michael! Wait!" I yelled to him as I caught up.

"Hey, have you seen my boy?" He asked me, looking through the trees.

"No, but… I think I might know where he is…" Michael turned to me quickly.

"Where?" He asked. I walked past him, following the trail Locke had led.

"Locke and Boone normally meet close to here," I said. Michael kept close to me.

"You think Walt's with them?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't know," I told him, "but I know that Walt likes him. And Locke is… I don't know, mysterious. A little boy's gotta be drawn to a person like him in a place like this." I might've made Michael nervous, but he needed to know the truth.

"… like it was real!" I could hear Walt say.

"We're here," I told Michael. He stepped ahead of me.

"Hey!" He yelled. I looked past him, and saw Locke, handing a hunting knife to Walt. "The hell's goin' on?" He looked to Walt's hands. "Gimme that."

"But I was…"

"Take Vincent and go back to camp," Michael interrupted.

"But Mr. Locke was just…"

"Now, little man." Walt got quiet and turned, grabbing Vincent's red leash, and pulling him slowly past me and back to the caves. He didn't bother to look up at me: he was probably upset that I told his dad he was here. Michael turned to John. "You gave my boy a knife."

"You should've seen what…"

"Don't tell me what I should've seen, man! If we were back home, I'd call the police on your ass! Encouraging a kid to sneak away from his parent, giving him a knife like this?!"

"Walt knows his own mind," Locke told him. Michael raised the knife, pointing it at Locke.

"Hey, don't talk to me about my son like you know him!"

"You really need to calm down," Locke suggested, raising his hands.

"You playin' my son against me… and I've gonna have a…" Before Michael could finish his threat to John, Boone knocked him on to the ground, taking the knife, and holding it over him.

"Boone! Stop!" I yelled.

"The man said calm down," Boone said, almost threatening Michael to calm himself. Michael swung his arm up and punched Boone in the face, taking the knife and sitting on top of him.

"What are you, his attack dog?" He said, fumbling with Boone's fighting arms.

"Stop!" I yelled, pulling Michael away from Boone. John reached down and helped me pull him up.

"Easy, easy, easy, you're the one who was waving the knife around! He was just trying to make sure you didn't hurt someone," John reminded him. I looked down at Boone. He was still lying on the ground, wiping blood away from his face.

"Get up," I told him, reaching down to help him up as John continued to calm Michael.

"Michael, I know it's been difficult to bond with your son. You know why he's formed an attachment to me? Because I treat him like an adult and you still treat him like a boy," He said. Boone was standing now, holding his sore cheek.

"He's ten years old!" Michael reminded Locke.

"He's been through more than most people in their entire lifetimes! You haven't spent enough time with him to see it, but… he's different."

"What did you say?" Michael asked.

"And we're not back home, Michael. As long as we're here, I think Walt should be allowed to realize his potential." The group of us paused and stared at Michael, waiting for his reaction.

"Stay away from my son," He said finally. "And me." He turned and stormed back through the jungle towards the caves. I looked back at Boone and John, and then started to follow.

"Do you _know_ what side you're on?" I heard John ask behind me. I stopped for a moment, trying to think of something to say, then kept walking.

* * *

"We need to get off this island!" I heard some yell. I sat up quickly to see a small group gathered off to the side.

"You think any of us wanna be here?" Shannon asked Michael. I stood up and stood behind Sayid, looking at a map in front of them.

"No, but I don't think anyone wants to get off as much as I do, right now," Michael told us. It was obvious to me that he meant because of John. I guess my comment creeped him out more than I thought.

"So, are you suggesting something?" Jack asked.

"Yeah: we build a raft," Michael said.

"A raft?" Sayid asked skeptically.

"Look, don't say it like that, man, we need a little optimism here, okay? And we gotta do something, cause, let's be honest, no one's comin'!" There was a pause for a moment between all of us. "Those seats we took off the fuselage, they float, and we got an axe, and a whole bunch of trees, bamboo, we can do this!" Everyone stopped for a second. None of us thought this would work. For good reason, too.

"The chances of surviving the rough waters, the odds of finding a shipping lane…" Sayid started. Shannon jumped in.

"And I get very sea sick," She added jokingly.

"You know what, great, stay here, grow old, good luck to you. But I'm doing this, my son and I are leaving. Anyone who wants to help us build, God bless you." Michael turned and walked away. We all watched after him in silence for a while.

"What a dumbass," Shannon said after a while. We all looked to her. Jack chuckled a little, but I walked away. I slipped on my socks and shoes and rubbed the back of my neck, sore from sleeping on the rocks. I knew I should've moved back to the beach, where I had a perfectly good bed and roof. I thought I might move today, if I got the chance. I picked up my big bag with all my clothes in it and slung the duffel strap over my shoulder, starting towards the beach. When I got there, I put down my bag on my bed and pulled my water bottle out, taking a long sip. I looked out of my tent to see Charlie punch Sawyer in the arm.

"Hey!" I yelled out to them, hurrying over. Sawyer punched him back with his good arm. "Sawyer!" I got over to them just as Charlie and Kate were walking away. "What did you do now?"

"I found Claire's diary," He started.

"You found it? Did you read it?" He was silent. "Sawyer! She was kidnapped! She might be dead for all we know, and you're reading her diary?!" I yelled.

"I haven't read it yet…"

"You're sick!" I yelled, grabbing my water bottle and heading back to the caves. I felt stupid for making the trip to the beach only to yell at someone and storm back. The trip to the caves was another boring one, but I got there pretty quickly. When I got there, Boone and John were there, refilling water bottles. I sat down next to my other bag with my hairbrush and stuff in it, and leaned back.

"Damn it! What is wrong with you!?" Michael yelled. I looked over to John, who was sitting down next to Walt. John looked panicked, and rushed.

"I was just coming to see…"

"I told you to stay away from my son!" He yelled again. Jack and I were both staring, waiting for something bad to happen. Walt didn't want John to get hurt either.

"He didn't. I was just gonna…"

"Walt, I don't wanna hear from you!"

"I was just gonna give him this pencil to give to you. I thought you could use it," He said. It was obvious to me that he was making up an excuse last minute, but maybe not to Michael. "Consider it a… a peace offering?" Michael leaned in next to John's ear and said something, but John didn't seem to fazed by it. He walked away and out into the jungle.

"You're a jerk!" Walt yelled.

"What'd you say to me?"

"Mr. Locke didn't do anything wrong. He's my friend."

"He's not anymore. I'm looking out for you!"

"You don't care about me, you never cared about me!"

"What?" Michael stared, almost shocked that his son thought so.

"You only showed up after my mom died. Where were you when I was growing up, huh? Nowhere!"

"Listen, Walt, it's… complicated…"

"I don't care! You're not my father." Michael looked furious, and hurt.

"You wanna hate me?" He asked. "You gonna punish me for something I can't change? Fine!" Michael pulled Walt's comic book out of his back pocket, and threw it into the fire. "But you will listen to me!" After a pause he continued. "Now… you get over there, and you stay there. Now!" He demanded. Walt moved miserably past Boone. I turned away and took a deep breath.

* * *

"Dude, your kid's gone," Hurley said. I looked up at Michael.

"What?"

"He just grabbed the dog and took off," He continued.

"I know where he's gone," Michael said, standing up. He looked to me. I stood up and followed, ready to deal with Boone if I needed to. I looked quickly back to Hurley.

"Thanks, Hurley," I yelled back. We walked quickly through the jungle to find Boone and John in the same spot.

"Locke!" Michael yelled ahead. "Where the hell is he?"

"What?" He asked.

"I'm not in the mood for your games, man, where is Walt?" Locke looked to Michael, somewhat confused.

"Walt's not here, Michael."

"Don't lie to me…"

"Hey, man, he's not here, look around…" Boon started.

"Hey, I'm not talkin' to you." Michael said in a threatening tone. Boone only looked annoyed. Locke jumped in quickly, trying to avoid a fight.

"I told him this morning that he couldn't be around me anymore. Tryin' to respect your wishes," He said. Michael looked angry, and scared.

"Well then if he's not…" John stood up.

"Let's go find your boy." The four of us walked through the jungle, searching for any clue as to where he was. After a while, I saw something red ahead of me, and I immediately remembered Vincent's leash.

"Hey," I said, running ahead and picking it up. Michael followed closely behind and took the leash out of my hand.

"Please! Help!" We could hear quietly.

"Walt?!" Michael asked. "Walt!" He yelled, running towards his sons pleas for help. We followed, close together, until we came upon Michael, who had stopped in his footsteps. I looked ahead to see Walt, cowering inside of a tree, and a polar bear, trying to claw him out. My eyes grew large as I stared at the polar bear. I thought that there was only one, and Sawyer had taken care of it. I was obviously wrong. John put his hand over Michael's mouth, avoiding luring the polar bear any closer to us than it already was.

"Come on, up here… Michael!" We turned to see John, ready to climb up a tree. I followed the branches with my gaze, and saw they led over the tree Walt was stuck in. Michael climbed up, and I followed behind, Boone bringing up the back. When we got to the branch, I could see how small and thin it was. If one of us were to slip, the whole branch would shake.

"Walt?" Michael called over the roars of the polar bear.

"Dad! Dad!" Walt yelled back. I could hear the tears in his throat. We walked slowly over the thin branch. Michael slipped a little after trying to go too fast.

"Michael!" I said, almost too loud. John snapped his body around and grabbed his wrist, pulling him up. We got to the end of the branch, John and Boone staying back a ways, and Michael and I getting up close.

"I'm comin' man!" Michael yelled down to him.

"Dad!" Walt yelled as the polar bear thrashed at him.

"Walt!" Michael yelled back, afraid every moment might be his sons' last. "Throw me the knife," He said to John. John tossed it as I ducked, and Michael caught it. "Walt!" He dropped the knife and it landed by Walt's feet. "If he comes near you, use it!"

"Michael!" John yelled. He tossed us a stringy type of vine/branch, that Michael tied around himself.

"Be careful," I told him, as he started to climb down. I heard the polar bear groan in pain, and I looked to see that Walt had the bloody knife in his hand. "Hold on, Walt!" Michael reached the base of the tree, and while the bear wasn't there, held Walt closely in his arms.

"You okay? Are you okay?"

"Yeah!"

Michael tied the vine around Walt's waist. "Alright, whatever you do, you hold onto this tight, you got me? Tight!"

"Yeah…" Walt said, nervously. "What about you?!" He yelled back.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be right behind you, okay? So, hold on. Okay, Locke, now!" He yelled up to us.

"Go!" I yelled back to Locke. He strained and pulled on the stringy vine.

"Pull!" Michael yelled up. "Pull, Locke, pull!"

"Michael!" the polar bear thrashed against the side of the tree, shaking it. "The knife!" I reached down and pulled Walt up into my arms.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Dad!" he yelled. The polar bear ran away quickly. Michael quickly climbed up the tree, with me helping him reach the top. He got his feet over the top and grabbed his son, pulling him close to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…"

"No, no, it's okay, we're okay," Michael told him. "I'm just glad you're safe."

"But Vincent… he ran off again…"

"He found his way back to you once Walt," John reminded him. Michael nodded. "He will again." I smiled at him.

* * *

I sat down on the rocks, my eyes fighting against the weight of my eyelids.

"Hey," Jack said to me.

"Hi," I replied, smiling.

"You look exhausted."

"I am exhausted," I laughed, lying down.

"Well, get some sleep. I'm sure Michael's glad you were there." I closed my eyes and smiled.

"Yeah… I'm sure…" Jack walked off, leaving me to the darkness and warmth around me. I laid my head back against the hard rock, thinking about what John had said earlier. 'Do you know what side you're on?' He said it like I was completely ignorant to my decisions. I looked up, trying to see if I could find him, but he was gone. I remembered: he was looking for Vincent with Boone. I laid back again, trying to figure out what the 'sides' were, and who was where. And where I was...

And I was out.

**Okay, next episode should start out fun, if you remember what Locke and Boone find out in the jungle while they're looking for Vincent. Review!**


	15. Homecoming

**Alright, it's been a while, but I'm back! Okay, here we go…**

I woke to see Boone and John pushing past people.

"Over here!"

"Jack!" I got up and saw them carrying Claire.

"Claire…" I whispered, running in front of them.

"Jack!" I yelled. "Where was she? Is she okay?"

"Is she alright?" Charlie said behind me. Jack pushed in front of him and helped them carry her.

"Is she okay? Where'd you find her?" He said.

"About a mile north, we were looking for the dog," John said.

"Was she conscious?"

"She collapsed in my arms."

"Did she say anything?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie, man, is she injured?" I walked to the front of the crowd and stood next to Claire, laying on the makeshift bed.

"Everybody needs to back off, okay? Just give her some air," Jack said. I pushed people backwards, leaving Charlie to stand by her. I stood behind Jack, watching Claire's face as he dabbed her forehead with a wet cloth, repeating her name. Her eyes slowly opened, and I watched them as panic flamed in her eyes, and she screamed, jumping off the bed and crawling around it. Charlie approached her slowly.

"Claire, you're safe," Charlie said slowly, offering his help.

"Who are you?" She asked, panicked and afraid. I looked to Jack, who was perplexed by her question. "Who are you? Who are you people!"

* * *

I sat next to Jack as he questioned her.

"Ethan was… he did…" Jack was trying to explain what he knew to her without traumatizing her further, but failing.

"I don't even understand… I don't know any Ethan… I don't, I don't remember. I don't remember any of you. I don't remember any of this…"

"What do you remember?" Charlie asked from the shadows by the rocks.

"Um… I was on a plane, um… flying to LA from Sydney?" Claire asked, as if she thought maybe it were a dream.

"Claire," Jack started, "We were all on that plane. It crashed here, on this island. That was almost a month ago." Claire's eyes widened, and she looked to her stomach.

"No… no, no, I'm due…"

"Your baby's fine, it's kicking, everything's normal… okay?" Jack told her.

"Well if it's been almost a month, then why hasn't somebody come to get us?" Claire asked. I looked to my feet, as did everyone sitting around her. We were all quiet for a moment, and when no one answered her, I knew someone had to.

"We don't know." She turned to me with a frightened and confused face, and Jack with a solid, saddened face. I got up and walked over to my bed, laying down, but staring up at the canopy of trees above me. I heard Charlie say my name, and then his and I figured he was telling Claire that we were taken by Ethan, too. Hearing his name again… Ethan… it made my edgy. I closed my eyes and tried to put it out of my head and sleep.

* * *

I walked through the jungle and onto the warm beach sand. Sawyer was sitting in his seat, reading another book. I walked up slowly and quietly, my hands stretched out. I put my hands down slowly by his shoulders and slammed them down yelling "Boo!" He jumped out of his seat and held his book to his side like a weapon. I laughed and put my hands over my mouth.

"The hell's the matter with you!" He asked.

"I couldn't help it!"

"Bitch…"

"Oh, what, can't take the fact that you were scared by a 'kid?'" I laughed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, after last night…" He paused, as my smile seemed to fade. He sat down again, opening his book. "Whatcha want?" He asked, as if nothing had happened.

"Nothing, just some company," I told him. He put his book down and looked at me.

"Well, do you want nothin', or do you want company?" He asked me. I smiled and sat down on his bed. He put his book down.

"What're you reading now?" I asked him. He looked down at the book and walked over to me.

"Sense and Sensibility," He said.

"Jane Austen?" I laughed.

"It's good," He said. I laughed again. "What's on your mind, Sandiego?" I looked up at him, standing in front of me. He was completely serious. I stopped smiling.

"What if he comes back?" I asked him. Sawyer knew I was talking about Ethan. He sat down next to me and put his hand on my leg.

"He won't…"

"But what if he does?" I said, looking to him. I knew I was showing I was afraid more than I wanted to. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close next to him.

"Then I'll be there to kick his ass," He said. I laughed a little and laid my head down on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek against my hair.

* * *

A loud crashing of cans stopped me. I was coming back to the beach to give some apples to Sawyer. I ran out of the jungle to see John talking with Sayid, and Boone standing beside them. I saw a trip wire, and a bag of trash lying on the ground.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Boone turned around quickly, as if the worst thing that could've happened was me seeing him. John looked as if he'd been caught in a lie, and Sayid looked ashamed. "What are you doing?" I asked again. Boone looked down at his feet and put his hand on the back of his neck.

"Ethan's back," John said.

"What?" I asked, scared, and hoping I heard him wrong.

"Ethan came to Charlie today when he was alone, and told him that he wanted Claire… and you," He said. I walked closer, tears welling around my eyes in fear.

"Why me?"

"He didn't give reasons, Carmen, he just gave demands." I looked down at my feet and ran past them to Sawyer's tent. I ran inside, to see Sawyer, sitting thoughtfully on his bed.

"Did you…"

"They told me," Sawyer told me, "after we talked." I looked around.

"I have to go back to the caves before it's dark…"

"No," Sawyer said, standing up.

"What do you mean no?"

"You can't walk through there alone. You can stay here tonight," He said. I stopped and looked to him.

"Really?" I asked, tears falling down my cheeks. He nodded uncomfortably, like doing something from the heart was potentially embarrassing. I walked up to him slowly and wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him as if someone might pull me off. He wrapped his arms around me. "I'm scared, Sawyer."

"Me, too." He admitted quietly. He let me go, and I let go of him, and looked to his face. "But I told you before. I'm not going to let him hurt you. I mean it." I smiled a little and sat down on the bed. "You'll sleep there, and I'll sleep down here in this chair." I smiled.

"Read your damn book," I told him, laughing a little. He smiled at me, and sat down. I laid down. Even though it was still daylight, I closed my eyes, praying I'd fall asleep. I didn't think I would fall asleep, but I slept soundly the whole night.

* * *

Something woke me up. I wasn't quite sure of what it was. I raised my head to see Sawyer, asleep in his chair with his book lying on his stomach. I smiled.

"Thank you," I whispered, glad to have my life one more day. I got up and walked past him, looking out on the beach. Everyone was still quiet. Someone was laying out on the beach. I walked out towards them. They weren't moving at all. I couldn't imagine they had slept there. They were laying face down in the sand. I could see, now that I was closer, that it was Steve. "Steve?" I asked. I walked closer, and knelt down next to him. "Steve?" I repeated. I placed my hand under his arm and turned him onto his back a little. Bruises covered his face, bones in his neck were broken… I screamed and pushed back from him, crying.

"Carmen!" Sawyer yelled behind me. I stood up and walked back wards from him, covering my mouth. "what happened?"

"What happened?"

"I don't know..." I said through my tears as Sawyer pulled me into him, as if shielding me from Ethan.

"Is he alive?" Sawyer held me close to him. I looked back at them examining the body and ran past Sawyer into his tent. I sat down on his bed and cried, my knees huddled close to my chest. Sawyer didn't come in, but I was glad. I kind of wanted to be alone.

* * *

Sawyer held my shoulder as I sat, nervous on the bed. Jack walked in. He looked to Sawyer, then me.

"I need to talk to you," He said to me. "Both of you." We walked out of the tent, following him.

"What's up, doc?" Sawyer asked.

"We're not taking our chances tonight. Carmen, Claire's agreed to this, but we're not sure this'll work without you. We want to trap Ethan by letting him think that we're submitting to him, and then capturing him instead. But… we need you to be there too. Would you…"

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement. Sawyer looked to me, almost like he disagreed, but he said nothing. Jack nodded.

"Sawyer, we need another gunman."

"Help? Moi?" Sawyer asked. Kate walked up behind him.

"You know how to handle a gun or not?" Jack asked.

"Well, I know at least one polar bear who seems to think so," Sawyer added. Jack pulled a handgun out of his backpack and handed it to him. "Where'd you get the hardware, Hoss?" He asked, checking the magazine.

"I wanna come," Kate said.

"Sorry, we're out of guns. And no one goes out there unarmed." Jack started walking away, but Sawyer stopped him.

"How much ammo you got?" Sawyer asked. Jack came back.

"Hundred rounds, give or take," He said.

"All nines, right? Nine millimeters? Guns?"

"Yeah," Jack said, trying to act like he knew what Sawyer was talking about in the first place. "Why?"

"Cause if the lady wants to come," Sawyer said, putting his gun in his pants and pulling his out of his tent, "lifted this off the marshal, back in the old days. You remember him, don't you? Surly guy, kind of square jaw… carried a sig-9?"

"Yeah, I remember you shot him… and missed," Jack said.

"Yeah, well… bygones. And hell, five guns are better than four," He said, handing Kate the gun. She and Jack walked off.

"What was that?" I asked.

"What?"

"Jack asks me to go out there, and you have to get Kate out there, too?"

"What are you talkin' about?"

"Is this your own brand of revenge, Sawyer?" I asked. He looked at me with his 'ya got me' face. I turned and walked off, almost laughing under my breath.

* * *

I stood beside Claire, and Sayid, who was kneeling beside me.

"You'll be surrounded at five points. Everyone will be in visual contact with you. Make sure you stay in the area I've shown you. And remember, guns are a measure of last resort. We want him alive," Sayid said. Jack handed Kate her loaded gun. "Are you both ready?" I nodded. We started into the jungle. Sawyer dropped back and walked beside me.

"Don't see why they don't just give you the damn guns," He said.

"Sawyer," I whispered.

"Right, I know, don't want them all to know Sandiego's shady past," He said. I shook my head. "I'm just joking…"

"Just… make sure I'm okay," I said. He smiled a little.

"'Kay."

* * *

Claire and I walked together into the enclosed space. I looked around me, checking the best places to run to. I could hear Claire shaking beside me. I held her hand. She looked to me and smiled. I smiled softly back at her. I turned subtly to see Sawyer hiding low in a bush. I looked away quickly and shivered in the cold rain. A branch was broken behind me and I turned quickly. Ethan was there, and he looked angry and annoyed. I stumbled backwards and ran as Claire screamed and followed. I ran ahead as I heard his footfalls behind us. I turned to see him, close enough to Claire to touch her. I turned around quickly and ran back at him, throwing my weight into him and knocking him over. I groaned as he hit the ground, and rolled me onto my back so he was on top of me, and he reached for my wrists, until something swept him off of me, rolling me over a few times with it. I pushed myself up to see Jack and Ethan, both attempting to get a grip on the other. I pushed myself up and backed up against a tree, panting.

"Over here, over here, Jack's got him!" Locke said, with Sayid behind him. I watched as Jack beat Then to the ground.

"Over here!" Sawyer yelled.

"Hold your fire!" Sayid yelled at him. Sawyer walked over to me.

"You 'kay?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said. Jack got off of Ethan and stepped back.

"Winner by a knockout. Nice one, doc. Now, maybe someone can tell me who or what this son of a bitch is!" Sayid said. Ethan looked up at him with angry eyes. Everyone pulled their guns out and aimed. "Uh uh uh, jungle boy. Not even for one second." Someone shot. I backed up and closed my eyes, and when I opened them, Ethan fell to the ground, dead. I turned to see Charlie, holding the gun.

"Charlie!" Jack yelled. I walked over to Ethan's body and looked down at him. Sawyer walked up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. I turned around and hugged him.

* * *

"You know, you could always move down to the beach and make use of that bed I helped you make…"

"Sawyer, I'm fine here…"

"Come on, Sandiego, why not?" I looked up at Sawyer. "You got plans already?"

"You really want me to stay down there?"

"Yeah! What if Tarzan had buddies? Then what? His jungle-friends'll come here. Just for a while, Carmen, come on." I laughed and picked up my bag, putting my brush and things in it. "Yes!" We walked back to the beach together. "So… you okay?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Sawyer, I've figured out that if I wanna be friends with you, I'm bound to get in fights every once in a while." He laughed with me. He said, looking ahead.

"Told ya I'd take care 'a ya." I looked to him, smiling smugly and looking forward. I turned back in front of me.

"I knew you would."


	16. Outlaws

**Okay, so this episode's a bit slow, but that's okay… we've just had a really good one! Okay, Outlaws…**

"You can just sleep here, Sandiego…"

"No, Sawyer, I'm fine, I just gotta get up…"

"No, sit down," He said, pushing me back onto his bed. I sat down. "You're exhausted." I smiled, and closed my eyes.

"I think I can muster up the strength to go to my tent, Sawyer…"

"Why do when you don't have to?" He asked. I laughed and rested my head back on his pillow.

"Where'll you sleep?" I asked.

"In my bed."

"I'm in your bed."

"You gotta problem with me sleeping next to ya?" He asked. I laughed again. "We been in worse situations, hun." I laughed again.

"Fine," I said, "I'm too lazy to move." I rolled over onto my side and fell asleep.

* * *

The sound of metal falling over woke me up. Sawyer was sitting next to me, shirtless. He was reaching over his side, and came up with a big flashlight. He brought it to his side and turned it on. The light was shining on a boar's face, and it snorted.

"Jesus!" I leaped backwards. Sawyer stood, crouching down. He grabbed a metal pole from his side. "Sawyer…" He slammed down the bar on the boar's head. It squealed and ran out of the tent. Things around me were falling and I shielded my head from having anything fall on it. When I looked up, Sawyer was running after it, yelling. "Sawyer!" I yelled after him. I walked over to the tree line and waited. Sawyer walked out in a second, looking down at his feet. "Hey," I said. He looked up at me quickly, like I surprised him.

"Go back to bed."

* * *

I walked slowly over to Michael. "Hey," I called. He and Walt looked up at me.

"Hey," Michael replied awkwardly.

"Did you guys want any help?" I offered. Michael looked at his son, then back at me.

"Extra set of hands couldn't hurt," He said. "You strong?"

"Depends on the day and task," I said. He laughed and I came to the raft.

"It's really coming along fast," I told him.

"Yeah, we're gettin' there," He replied, gripping the bamboo sides. I turned around to see Sawyer, carrying his tarp and covered in mud, arrive at his tent.

"Uh, I'll be right back," I said, running over to his tent. "What happened?" I asked him. He had a backpack and was packing.

"I went to get the tarp back, and the damn boar attacked me."

"Attacked you?" I laughed.

"You havin' fun? Ruined your sleep, too."

"Sawyer, you're being ridiculous… where are you going?"

"To find it, and kill it," He said matter-of-factly.

"You're joking, right?" I asked, but he looked at me seriously. "Sawyer… there are so many better things you could do with your time than go after boar, that's what Locke's for…"

"Thanks for your help, Johnny B. Good, but I'm fine with my revenge plan," He said, packing more. I turned and walked to my tent, shaking my head and laughing.

* * *

I looked up from Sawyer's seat at the tree line. It was night, and Sawyer hadn't come back yet.

"You should go to bed, Carmen," I heard behind me. Boone smiled.

"Hey," I said, "Where've you been?"

"Working with Locke."

"Not looking for boar, obviously," I said.

"What?" He asked, coming in front of me.

"Sawyer's going after a boar right now. It was here last night," I told him. Boone nodded.

"Just our luck, right?" He asked. He walked back around the seat and to his tent. I sat back in my chair.

"Night!" I yelled to him.

* * *

I finished volume one of the book and closed it.

"I believe that's mine," Sawyer said. I looked up.

"Hey," I said. I looked back down at the book. "You're right, it… it's good. A little boring, but still good." I put the book down and stood up. "You kill your boar?" He laughed.

"I gave 'im a warning. Told him next time, he's goin' straight to time out," He said. I laughed and hugged him.

"I put your tent back together," I told him. He smiled.

"Good your there to clean up my messes, Sandiego." I smiled at him.

"Good to have you home, Sawyer." He smiled at me. I picked up the book and reached out my arm. "Enjoy it," I said, "Jane Austen's great."


	17. In Translation

**Okay, so this is episode's really surrounding Sawyer and Carmen's relationship. Alright, next flashback scene is coming up within the next four chapters so keep reading!**

Sawyer had given me Sense and Sensibility. I was already in volume three… it was a very droll book, though. I was obviously bored with it. Jin yelled something in Korean, giving me the chance to look away from the book. Sun was in a bikini, and Jin was trying to cover her up with an airline blanket. They were yelling at each other in Korean. He started pulling her up the beach, when Sun fell over.

"Hey," I heard behind me. I turned and saw Michael jogging past me, increasing speed as he went. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" He yelled, pushing Jin off of Sun. "Hey, get your hands offa her!" Jin snapped back at him in Korean. Michael let go of Sun, and she stepped back, watching them fight. "I swear to God, man, you put your hands on her one more time…" Jin approached him, yelling in Korean. I stood up slowly, leaving the book in the sand, preparing myself to jump on someone if a fight started. Jin poked his chest, and Michael batted away his hand, "Hey, get your hands offa me!" They stared at each other a moment, both waiting for the other to make a move, when Sun jumped in between and slapped Michael. I stood there, hands on my hips, almost shocked. Jin and Sun walked away to the caves, leaving Michael to hold his cheek in shame. I picked up my book and walked to my tent. I put the book down and watched the trail to the caves intently, waiting for Sun to come back. She came back eventually, a yellow tank top and baggy pants covering her bikini. I ran up to her.

"Um… can I show you something?" I asked her slowly, as if she didn't understand me. She nodded slowly. I walked her back to my tent and she sat down. "So what was all that about?" I asked. She looked down at her knees.

"Jin thought that I looked…"

"No, I mean about Michael," I said. She looked back up at me.

"I didn't want him to get hurt," She said. I raised my eyebrows.

"So you slapped him…"

"It's not like that," She said. "Jin would have hurt him. I did that to protect him." I nodded my head.

"You said Michael knows you can speak English?" She nodded. "You might wanna let him know why you smacked him." She got up. "And Sun?" She turned and looked back at me. "You really shouldn't let him treat you like you're his property." She looked down at her feet uncomfortably. "What?"

"Well," She continued, looking up at me, "don't you let Sawyer treat you the same way?" I tilted my head.

"What?" She turned and walked out of the tent. I sat down on my bed and shook my head. I didn't know what she meant. Sawyer didn't treat me like a little doll… did he?

* * *

I walked over to the raft, where Jack and Sawyer were talking to Michael.

"Hey," I yelled over. Sawyer turned, and looked like he was hiding something. "What's up?" I asked. Jack looked to Sawyer, then me.

"Sawyer got you on the raft," He said. I looked at Sawyer.

"What?" He smiled smugly.

"Thought you'd like it," He said. "Think of it as an early birthday present." I thought about what Sun had said, and shook my head.

"Well get your money back," I told him. "I don't wanna go." I turned and started back for my tent.

"What?" He yelled.

"I don't wanna go," I repeated, continuing on. He ran and caught up to me.

"Why not? You got better things to do here?" He asked. I shook my head and smiled.

"Just rather stay here is all," I said. I walked into my tent, and Sawyer followed.

"Okay, Shirley," He said, "what's wrong?" I sat down and shook my head.

"Why are you so eager to be on the raft?" I asked him.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"What do you have back home that's really worth getting back to so fast?" I asked. His smile faded. "I'm happy just where I am." He shook his head and looked down.

"Thanks a lot, Olaf," He said, turning and storming out of my tent.

* * *

I sat on my bed, tired from a day of reading Jane Austen. Sawyer walked in.

"Okay, Electra," He said. "I thought 'a somethin'."

"What?"

"Somethin' worth getting' back to," He told me. I shook my head. "For both of us," He continued. "See I gotta get back so I can get laid for the first time in a month…"

"What, you already turnin' blue?" I asked him hjokingly.

"Hardy har har," He said. I laughed. "And you," He continued, "Gots a family." My smile disappeared quickly, for many reasons, but I could only spit out one.

"Fire," I whispered. He stopped smiling. "Fire!" I yelled. He turned and looked out of the tent to see a roaring fire, where the raft was. Sawyer ran out to it, and I ran to the other tents, yelling fire as I passed them. "Someone tell Michael! The raft's on fire! Help!" I ran towards the fire and stood next to 

Sawyer, throwing sand on it to extinguish it. Wood broke and snapped, and the fire raged higher. Michael bent down next to me, throwing sand on the raft.

"Where is he?" I heard his say. I stood to see him looking at Sun, standing behind Kate. "Where the hell is he?! Where is he?" Michael said, enflamed in anger. Sun said something slowly in Korean. "Where is he!"

"She doesn't understand you, man…" Jack started.

"Hey! Where is he?"

"Back off," Kate warned.

"No, her husband did this, she knows! You tryin' to protect him, now, is that it?"

"She was with me!" Kate yelled. Walt ran to the fire, and started throwing sand on it.

"Walt, Walt! Get back, get back!" Michael pulled him back.

"Sun, wait!" Kate yelled. I turned to see Sun running towards the path to the caves.

"I'm 'a break his damn neck!" Michael yelled, going towards Sun.

"Michael!" Kate yelled.

"Michael, just take it easy man, we don't know that Jin did this…" Jack started.

"Are you serious?!" Sawyer yelled.

"Sawyer…"

"Sawyer, shut the hell up!" I screamed.

"Jack, come on, we saw him on the beach this morning!" Charlie yelled.

"That doesn't mean that he torched the raft," He said.

"Yeah, then who did, Jack?!" Michael yelled. We stood in silence, waiting for an answer that wouldn't come. Some people sat by the raft, watching in burn. I started walking away. Sawyer walked up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Carmen…"

"Piss off!" I yelled, pushing his hand off of my shoulder and walking faster to my tent. I sat down on my bed, half expecting Sawyer to walk in and argue with me. He never came. I looked out of my tent to see Boone, poking at a fire with a long stick. I looked around to see if Sawyer was anywhere in sight, but he wasn't. I stood and walked over to Boone.

"Hey," He said softly. I nodded. He looked kind of grim.

"You okay?" I asked him. He nodded slowly.

"Annoyed," He said. I turned to him. He laughed a little. "Not by you." I nodded and sat down. He followed suit and sat next to me.

"Who, then?"

"Sayid… Shannon," He continued.

"Are they… gettin' freaky?" I asked. He turned to me. "Joking," I said. He didn't really laugh.

"Yeah, I guess," He said. He sat quietly.

"What have you guys been doing out in the woods?" I asked him. He looked to me, almost confused by the question. "All day and sometimes all night, you'll be out there in the woods, doing… what?" He shook his head.

"I already told you, Carmen…"

"You're lying, Boone," I said. He laughed and shook his head.

"Whatever," He said, getting up and walking away. I watched after him, looked to the fire, and after a while went to my tent and slept.

* * *

I pushed aside the airline blanket Sawyer used as a door to find no one inside. I left the tent and walked slowly towards the water. Kate was off to my left.

"Hey, Kate!" I yelled to her. She turned quickly to look at me. "Have you seen Sawyer?" She looked to the water and back at me.

"No, why?!" She asked.

"No reason," I said a little quieter. Where could he have gone?

* * *

I looked out at the beach to see Sawyer, taking a tie off of Jin's wrists.

"Sawyer!" I screamed. I sprinted out of my tent and down the beach to where he was.

"Michael!" I heard Jack yell.

"What the hell is your problem?!" I yelled at Sawyer.

"What the hell you talkin' bout slick…" I reached my hand up and slepped him across his cheek.

"You just think you can beat him and drag him through the jungle cause you didn't get your way?!"

"He ruined…"

"Sawyer, you're a fucking ass hole!"

"Back off Jack, it's got nothin' to do with you!" Sawyer yelled past me.

"Shut it!" Jack yelled back.

"Sawyer, I'm talking to you, don't ignore me!" I screamed, pulling his face down to meet mine.

"What do you want from me?"

"Some civility! An answer! A reason! You're acting like a God damn savage!"

"I'm acting…"

"Yes, Sawyer!" Jin said something in Korean. I turned and saw him staring at Sun. Michael turned to Sun.

"What'd he say?" He asked. Jin said it again. "You say somethin' to me?" Michael yelled. Jin said it again. Jakc held Michael back. "Say it again? No, no, no, say it again?" Jin said something else. Michael pushed past Jack and ran at Jin.

"Michael!" I yelled. He brought his fist around and knocked Jin onto the ground. Jack ran forward to pull Michael back.

"Easy, doc," Sawyer yelled, pushing Jack off of Michael, "one fight at a time!"

"He's right! This is between them," Sayid said.

"You can't be serious!" I yelled.

"Carmen, stop," Sawyer started grabbing my arm.

"Sawyer, get off of me! Jack, do something!" I looked to Jack, but he only turned around, feeling out of control. "Sun, do something! They're beating your husband!" She stood silently, looking helpless. Sawyer gripped my arm tightly as Jin said something else, and Michael punched him to the ground. He stood up slowly. Sawyer held my arms back. Jin said something else, and Michael grabbed his shirt, ready to punch him again, when someone stopped the fight.

"Stop it!" Sun screamed, crying in pain for her husband. "Leave him alone! He didn't burn your raft!" Everyone stared at her in disbelief.

"You speak English?" Charlie asked. Hurley stared at her.

"Didn't see that one coming…"

"You understood us, all this time? Why didn't you say anything?" Jack asked.

"Your raft was already on fire when he arrived. He burnt his hands trying to put it out!" She yelled at Michael.

"Then why did he run?" Michael asked, desperate to be right. Sun looked to Jin and asked him in Korean, but he said nothing. "Exactly. That's what I thought!"

"My husband is many things, but he is not a liar."

"You're gonna lecture us about lyin', Betty?" Sawyer yelled, letting go of my arms. "From the look on his face, even your own man here didn't know you speak English. How do we know she's not coverin' for him?!" He yelled.

"Because she isn't!" Someone yelled behind us. I turned to see Locke. "Why would he burn the raft?"

"He's been after me since day one! Everybody knows it…"

"Okay, so it's personal!" John said. "But why take it out on our best chance at getting off the island? Why would any one of us block an attempt to get home? We're so intent on pointing the finger at one another that we're ignoring the simple, undeniable truth that the problem isn't here, it's there! They've attacked us, sabotaged us, abducted us, murdered us! Maybe it's time we stop blaming us and started worrying about them!" He started walking away. "We're not the only people on this island and we all know it!" He yelled back at us. We all looked back to Jin and Michael.

"He did not do it," Sun said. Michael stormed off, taking Walt with him. Sawyer grabbed my hand.

"Get the hell off of me," I said, pulling my hand back. I walked ahead of him and looked back at his face. "You're worse than my father." I turned back in front of me and walked to my tent.

* * *

"Can I help?" I asked Michael. He looked to me from the pile of bamboo and metal.

"You want on?" He asked.

"No," I said. "I just need a break… from everything else. At home, I'd read, but… well, that's one of the things I need to avoid." Michael knew I meant Sawyer and nodded.

"Sure," he said. I picked up a scrap of metal, and carried it to a pile of pieces that could still be used. I looked back, and saw Jin, carrying a bunch of bamboo. Michael was staring at him. Jin turned and looked back at Michael.

"Boat," He said. Michael nodded, and Jin nodded back. He turned and put down the stack he carried. I smiled. Funny… after he beat Jin's ass, Michael was accepting his help. And after Michael beat his ass, Jin wanted to help. Men are funny.

**Okay, next episode's a little uneventful. Just arguing, I guess. Kay, see you then!**


	18. Numbers

**Okay, like I said at the end of the last chapter, this chapter's a bit less eventful. But in two more chapters is one of the biggest ones in this season. Okay, NUMBERS!**

I sat in the sand, bunching the wires closely together to create a tie. Jin had just picked up one I'd finished and was trying to work with Hurley.

"Hey," Jack called. I looked up.

"Hey," Michael replied, standing up.

"How's it comin'?" Jack asked.

"It's comin'."

"As long as nobody sabotages this one as well, huh?" Jack joked. I don't think Michael saw it as funny, though.

"I got people standing guard 24/7. Nobody gets near this with or without the intent to burn. Hey, listen, I was thinking, the chance of a passing ship this raft out there is pretty slim. We could use something to send out a distress call to any ships that might be close… like an S.O.S.?" Michael asked.

"Okay, well, I'll ask Sayid, but, I mean, even if he can make something like that, he's not gonna have anything to power it with," Jack said. Michael nodded, acknowledging the flaw in his plan.

"Didn't Sayid say that crazy French chick had batteries?" Hurley asked, holding the bamboo that Jin was tying. Jack looked to me, knowing Sayid would be difficult. Jack started to walk off. I got up and followed him.

"Dude, be right back," Hurley said. I heard him drop the bamboo, and Jin yell something after him. He caught up with me and we followed Jack to Sayid. Jack stopped in front of him.

"Sayid," Jack called. He stopped and turned to face us. "Um, Michael was wondering if you could make him a sort of distress signal."

"I would need some sort of power source," Sayid said.

"We know," Jack told him, looking at his feet. "But if I remember right, the French woman had batteries."

"Absolutely not," Sayid said, turning and walking back to his tent.

"I'm not asking you to go, I'll do it!" Jack offered.

"No you won't," He forbade. Me and Hurley followed shortly behind Jack as we followed him to his camp.

"Dude, we're just trying to…"

"Do you really think that she would give up something that she needs for survival to a total stranger?" Sayid asked.

"All I'm asking is for you to tell me how to find her," Jack said, "that's it."

"I was brought unconscious to her camp. When I escaped, I was disoriented. I don't know how to find her."

"Don't know, dude, or don't want to?" Hurley asked. Sayid walked towards him, angry and offended.

"Sayid, look, you've got her maps, and her papers. Now, you thought that they were pointing to something," Jack reminded him.

Sayid walked back around his small desk. "Well, I was wrong."

"Well maybe they're pointing to her…"

"Look! I don't even know what these papers mean! For all I know, they could be the ravings of her disturbed mind! Song lyrics! Mixed with equations!" Sayid put a stack of papers into Hurley's hands, and picked up a map, showing it to Jack. I leaned over to get a better view of it. "If this map is pointing to her, than you should know she resides here, in this area." He pointed to a spot on the map with French writing by it. "She gave it a name: Territoire Fonce. Shannon translated it: it means dark territory. Does that sound like a place you'd like to visit?" I sighed.

"So you won't help?" Jack asked.

"I didn't say that," Sayid said. "I'll build a distress beacon, but I suggest you find another power source." I looked over to Hurley. He was staring intently at a small piece of paper.

"Hurley?" I asked. He seemed mesmerized by it. "Hurley?" He looked up quickly. "You okay?" He shuffled the papers up and put them down on Sayid's table.

"Uh, yeah, I'm cool," He said. He seemed edgy, though. "I'd better help Jin with that… thing." He ran off towards the raft and I watched after him.

"Hm… weird."

* * *

I walked into the caves, going to fill up my water bottle. It had been empty a while yesterday, but I wanted to finish some work yesterday, and didn't want to take a water break. I met Hurley on my way in.

"Hey, Hurley," I said, but he pushed straight past me and out into the jungle. I walked awkwardly in, and looked up to Charlie. "Is Hurley okay?" Charlie shrugged.

"Seemed a little whacked up, if you ask me," He said. I nodded and walked over to the creek. I looked over to the medical station and saw my old bed off to the side. I'd completely forgotten about my little pad here. I screwed the cap onto my water bottle and walked over to it. I decided quickly to pack it up and bring my stuff back to the beach.

* * *

"Where is it?" Sayid said. I looked up from my bags to see Sayid and Jack.

"Where is what?"

"The map. I told you, it won't help you find her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, I don't have the map," Jack said.

"What makes this worse is that you won't even do your own dirty work, you get Hurley to do it for you!"

"Wait a minute," Jack stopped, "Hurley?"

"He was in my tent last night, quizzing me about Rousseau, about numbers she wrote, how I came to find her…" Sayid slowed down as Jack shook his head. "You don't know anything about this, do you?" Jack shook his head again.

"Did you…"

"I passed him a while back, but I don't know… Charlie!" I called to him. He put down his firewood and looked up at me. "Where'd Hurley go?"

"Went out for a walk a couple of hours ago. Acting like a loon, I might add. Why?" He asked.

"My God, he's going after her," Sayid confessed to himself. Charlie followed Sayid out of the caves, and Jack behind him.

"Jack," I said, following him, "I'm coming, too."

"No," He said.

"No?" I asked. "Jack, we both know I'm perfectly capable of handling myself…"

"Carmen, you are the only other person I trust in taking care of other people who are hurt. If someone gets hurt while I'm gone, what're they gonna do?" He asked. I shook my head and went back into the caves to get the bags I had packed.

* * *

I tied the coil tightly around the bunch of bamboo. I was sitting against a bunch of bamboo that Jin finished tying together. Michael was hitting a piece of metal into place.

"Wanna hit that a little harder?" Sawyer yelled, annoyed. I looked up.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my building a raft to get us rescued botherin' you?" Michael asked.

"At the moment, yeah."

"Why aren't you helpin'?" Walt asked.

"I am helpin', short round. Keepin' watch for arsonists," He said. I rolled my eyes and put down the bamboo.

"Walt's got a point. You could pitch in, seeing as how you've already bought your ticket," Michael said. At that moment, the bamboo Jin tied fell down all around me.

"Great," I said. Jin yelled something in Korean, and pointed to me. "It isn't my fault! If it can't take me leaning on it, it wasn't good anyway!"

"Did you tie this like I told you?" Michael yelled to Jin. "Cause if you'd tied it like I said, the thing would still be together!" The two of them yelled at each other, each in languages the other couldn't understand. I fell back on the bamboo and laid there, too lazy to get up. I saw Sawyer's head bob away over the bamboo pile. He was annoyed. But him being annoyed right now was the most annoying thing.

* * *

I carried two long strings of vines around my arms and walked behind Jin holding a torch. Michael was in front of us, and was taking us back to the raft, where we'd leave them for tonight and start working again tomorrow.

"You guys fight like a married couple, you know that?" I told Jin. He looked back at me, acknowledging that I talked, but had no idea what I said. "It's funny, is all." Hurley walked past me. "Hurley…" Charlie followed him, and then Jack and Sayid. Sayid put something in Michael's hand. He looked closely at it.

"What is that… Jin gimme some light…"

"It's a battery," I said, smiling. I laughed a little and continued towards the raft. "I'll be damned."

**Okey Dokey, next episode is Dues Ex Machina (translation, in case you didn't know, is "God out of Machine"), but I gotta read some of my school stuff first so... why don't you just re-read this chapter, and by the time you're done, I'll have gotten bored and started the next! See you soon! By the way, if anyone has some good Sawyer nicknames, or just really funny references I should use, feel free to message me with them, or include it in the reviews! I'm not as good at them as I'd like to be (I have my days).**


	19. Dues Ex Machina

**Told you I'd get bored fast. Okay… next episode is… one of the most sad. Ever. For me, at least, cause I have to write it. Well, enjoy!**

I sat beside the raft, sipping from my water bottle.

"I'd ask you how this was goin', but… it's comin' together fast," Jack said. I stood up and left my bottle on the ground.

"The fire wasn't a total loss," Michael said, placing a stalk of bamboo in place. "We learned a few things from buildin' the first one, which is savin' us from trial and error. Now it's just… trial," He said, looking to Jin. Jin yelled at him to do something in Korean. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know man, now, now…"

"Pickin' up on a little Korean there, Michael?" Jack asked. Michael chuckled a little under his breath.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know how to say, uh, faster, and idiot." Jack laughed, and looked past me. I turned and saw Sawyer putting a cloth over his eyes.

"How's he doin'?" Jack asked me. I shook my head and placed my hands on my hips.

"I haven't talked to him since the whole 'let's let Michael beat the shit out of Jin' fiasco," I said. I turned to see Michael and Jin staring at me. "Sorry," I said, and they went back to work. "But he's really irritable… and it's startin' to piss me off." Jack laughed and looked over at him. "I am worried, Jack." He nodded and walked over. I heard a word yelled every once in a while, but couldn't really make out what was said. I climbed on top of the raft and went back to work.

* * *

"Hey," Kate said. I turned to her and smiled. "Sawyer talk to you about his headaches?" I shook my head.

"We're not really talking right now," I said. She laughed. "I am worried about him though…"

"Do you wanna keep it down?!" I heard Sawyer yell. I looked to her.

"Let's take him to Jack!" I said, sarcastic in my excitement.

"That's it, get up," Kate said to him.

"What?"

"Get up," Kate said, pulling on his arm. "You're goin' to Jack."

"Do I get a lollipop?" He whined. I pulled him forward towards the path to the caves. "So, what? You worried 'bout me?" He asked me.

"Yes, Sawyer," I said seriously. He was expecting a half hearted joke, I'm sure, but I wasn't going to give it to him. He was silent the rest of the way there.

* * *

"What's that… that nod?" Sawyer asked Jack as he walked around the medical bed.

"Would you just let him do his thing?" Kate asked.

"I'm lettin' 'im, but I just wanna know what the hell he thinks I sh…"

"I think you should just shut up and relax," Jack said. He brought his fingers next to Sawyer's ear and snapped.

"Ah, what the hell are you doin'?" Sawyer whined.

"Have you ever had a blood transfusion?" Jack asked.

"What… no…"

"Taken pills for malaria?"

"Nope."

"Have you ever had sex with a prostitute?" Jack asked. Kate turned her head, a little interested.

"What the hell's that got to do with anything? There is a younger person…"

"Sawyer, don't use me as an excuse to avoid the answer. I know the answer," I said.

"Is that a yes?" Jack asked. Sawyer sighed and answered.

"Yes."

"Have you ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease?" Sawyer was silent, and obviously incredibly annoyed with Jack. "I'll take that as another yes. When was the last outbreak…" Sawyer got up.

"Go to hell, doc." Sawyer stormed between me and Kate and out of the caves.

"I know he deserved it, but…" Kate started.

"He needs glasses," Jack said.

* * *

"Wait, Jack… when you tell him… can you make it sound like it's this awful thing?" I asked him. He nodded.

"The medical name for it is hyperopia," He offered. I smiled.

"Perfect. I'll be upset," I laughed. Jack smiled and we walked past the tents to Sawyer's.

"If you're lookin' for a stool sample, you can forget it," Sawyer said. Jack crouched down in front of him, and I stood beside him.

"You've been reading a lot since we came to the island," he said.

"Okay, so what?"

"You, uh… you've got, uh…" Jack looked back at me. I looked completely serious and even sad. "You've got hyperopia."

"Hyperopia? That's, uh… what is that?" Sawyer asked, serious and nervous.

"You're far-sighted," Jack said.

"Far-sighted?" Sawyer repeated. I laughed and put my hands on my knees.

"Yeah," Jack laughed. "It can develop later in life, especially if you add any strain to the eyes, like with reading." Jack picked up a pair of glasses and offered them to Sawyer. He tried them on and looked at the book.

"Blurry." Jack offered him another pair.

"Better or worse?"

"Worse." Jack picked up another pair of glasses. "Uh, uh. No way." The glasses had sleek frames and rhinestones on the sides.

"Sawyer, it's not a fashion show."

"You should be glad, cause if it were, you'd lose," I laughed.

* * *

"Yeah, and when he tries them on, I'm going to show him this," Jack said, handing a notepad with 'better or worse' written on it. "Funny?"

"No. Lame," I said.

"Well, I'm a doctor," He laughed. He bent down in front of Sawyer and gave him the glasses to try on.

"These are hideous," He said.

"Put 'um on," Kate said from behind us. He put them on, and Jack held up his notepad.

"Har har, very funny," Sawyer said.

"Dude," Hurley said from behind us, "looks like someone steamrolled Harry Potter." I fell onto my butt laughing.

"You love this don't you?" Sawyer asked Jack.

"You're welcome," Jack said. I laughed again.

"Oh, that was good," I said. I got up and followed Hurley. "Hurley, wait up!"

* * *

I sat by the creek and sipped from my bottle.

"Jack!" John yelled. I looked up to see John carrying Boone on his back. He was bleeding all over. "Ho!"

"Boone!" I yelled. Tears were rising to my eyes faster than I could get up. I leaped to my feet and ran over to the medical bed where they put him down.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"There was an accident… Boone… fell off a cliff…"

"Boone," I whispered. He was unconscious, probably from the pain.

"Carmen, I need your help," Jack said.

"I know, I'm ready," I said. Jack ripped open his shirt to reveal his torso, the flesh torn up and mutilated. "Oh God…"

"Kay, I'm gonna need some water… shirts, towels, anything I can use to stanch the bleeding," Jack said.

"Okay, okay…"

"Kate, now, please!" Jack yelled, and she scurried off.

"John, tell me exactly what happened!" Jack yelled wiping off his hands. "John!" I looked up to see him nowhere. "Locke! Locke! Locke!!"

**Okay guys… are you ready for the most depressing episode I have written thus far. I'm not. I'm going to need to take mental health breaks while writing it… I'm sad thinking about it!! Okay, see you then.**


	20. Do No Harm

**Okay, DEPRESSING episode… er, chapter. Okay… I would say enjoy, but if you enjoy it… you're sick.**

"_Hey," Josh said. I dropped my purse and fell onto the couch. "What?" I rolled back and closed my eyes, laying my head back on the couch._

"_I got fired," I said._

"_Again?"_

"_Yes, Josh! Again!"_

"_Well don't yell at me, Carmen, just…" I felt the tear roll down my cheek. "What's wrong, hun?" I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was sitting next to me on our cheap couch. I shook my head._

"_What are we doing here, Josh?" He shook his head._

"_What do you…"_

"_We came to Sydney to find Morgan, and all we've done is work! To keep this lousy apartment down, all we do is work!" I yelled, sitting up._

"_But Carmen… we will find her…"_

"_When Josh? When she's five?! When she's known her parents as her only parents? When I'm a stranger who she can never love?! I don't want that! I want…" I couldn't stop crying. "I want her to be mine…" Josh was quiet a while, and then got up. "Where are you going?" He walked around the couch and picked up his wallet off the table. "Josh?" He walked through the door closing it behind him. "Josh? Josh!"_

* * *

"Move!" I yelled at people. "Jack, he's awake!" I yelled. They placed the bed down on the ground.

"Sun, a pair of scissors in the second drawer of the cart… second drawer!" Sun rooted through the drawer. I seemed to come in and out of all of this.

"Boone… hey… we're taking care of you…"

"Hurley, I swear to God, if you faint!" Jack yelled. I looked back into Boone's frightened eyes.

"Boone…" He took in a sharp breath and struggled to take in another. "Jack, Jack!!" I yelled.

"Jack, what's goin' on?" Kate asked.

"His lung just collapsed…" Jack stood there, feeling his neck.

"Jack!" I screamed.

"Okay…" He ran to the cart and got some things.

"Boone… Boone! Stay with me!" I yelled. Jack poured peroxide over his chest and felt over his chest. The minute he found what he was looking for, he took a metal rod, aimed, and jabbed it into his chest. I gripped the sides of his head as he took a long breath out. His eyes were wide with the pain and fear he felt.

"Good… good, Boone. We're gonna put a tube in that and you'll be just fine," Jack said. I smiled and kissed Boone's forehead. "The alcohol, Kate! You want him to live, get to the beach, now!" I looked up at him, nervous. He looked back at me for a moment, and then closed his eyes and released a deep breath out. Jack tore open his pants leg after putting the tube in his chest.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked him.

"It's a closed fracture, but I think I can see it…"

"Oh my God," I could hear Boone say.

"I'll take care of you Boone, okay? You're going to be okay," I said. I knew I sounded as scared as I felt.

"He's lost a lot of blood. I don't know how far Locke had to carry him…" Jack came over beside me and looked at Boone. "Boone, listen to me… listen. You are not gonna die. I'm gonna fix this, okay. I'm going to save you."

* * *

"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry… I'm sorry," Boone repeated. Jack was finishing sewing up his chest wound.

"Don't be sorry, Boone…"

"He needs blood," Jack said.

"What?" Sun asked.

"Blood… transfusion."

"But how will you…"

"I don't know. I'll figure it out… after I set the leg," He said.

I stared into Boone's eyes as they fluttered. I looked up to see Jack walk out.

"Carmen… take a break…"

"I'm fine, Sun," I told her. I looked back down into Boone's face.

* * *

"It is not a remedy," Sun said, as she slipped the stick into Boone's mouth. We were ready to set his leg.

"You hold his shoulders," Jack told Sun, "and you hold his arms." I nodded, and reached over him, holding his wrists.

"I'm sorry, Boone," I said.

"Here we go," Jack said, and he pulled the leg. He immediately tried to reach for his leg, and I held him down. He writhed in pain, but I only held him down.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

* * *

"Carmen, you need to get out of here," Jack said softly.

"No, I'm fine…"

"Carmen, you look pale. Go and get some water," He said. I wanted to debate, but I felt like getting sick any minute. I got up and walked quickly out of the tent they'd set up. I headed towards the creek, but stopped and ran towards the trees. I leaned up against one and coughed, heaving up nothing, but feeling a lump in throat that wouldn't go away.

* * *

"Not to rain on your proverbial parade, but I thought you said we needed someone who was A-negative?" Charlie asked.

"Or O-negative," Jack said.

"Right, which, judging by your tantrum, no one is," Charlie replied.

"Someone is," Jack said.

"You?" I asked.

"Then why'd you make us…"

"O-neg. is the universal donor. It's in the ballpark; it's not a match. My blood could put him into anaphylactic shock… stop his heart," He said. I looked up, nervous.

"You mean he'll die," Charlie asked.

"He's not gonna die," Jack said. I looked back to Boone, who was shaking… still…

* * *

"_Hey, this is Josh, leave a message and I'll get back to you."_

_I waited for the beep to come. "Josh, it's me… call me back? Please? We need to talk… I just… gah…"_

_I hung up the phone and put it down on the table by my purse. I walked around the couch and sat down, putting my hands to my head. Someone knocked on my door._

"_Josh?" I yelled. I got up and ran to the door, throwing it open. It was just our neighbor, Rachael. She was an older woman, about forty, and a little pudgy lady. Sweet, but kind of annoying. I put my hand to my head._

"_I was just going to ask for some sugar?" She asked. I nodded._

"_Come in," I told her. She slipped in, he measuring cup in hand. I shut the door and walked into the kitchen._

"_Where's Josh?" She asked._

"_I'm not sure," I told her with a sigh, leading her into the kitchen. I was practically empty, but I was pretty sure we had some sugar. I picked up the container from the corner of the cabinet and put it on the counter for her._

"_Well, what happened?" She asked. I chuckled._

"_I don't even know…" I said, wiping my hand down my face. She shut the container._

"_Well," She said, "mine never came back, but you two… you've got it. He'll come back. If not tonight, eventually, he'll come crawling back on his knees." I laughed._

"_Thanks," I said. She smiled._

"_Thank you." She walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind her. I sighed._

"_Just wish he'd call…"_

* * *

"C-c-c-Claire!" Jin yelled.

"Claire? What about Claire?" Charlie asked, more to Jack than to Jin.

"Oh, no," I said. Jin started talking in Korean.

"He says Claire's with Kate. She's in labor, just off the beach," Sun translated.

"Claire's havin' the baby? Where, where?" Charlies asked Jin. Sun talked to Jin in Korean quickly.

"He says he thinks she's okay, but she's in pain."

"Does he know how fast the contractions are coming?" Jack asked.

"Every… two minutes?" Sun translated.

"Is she nauseous, can she stand, is there any bleeding, did her water break?" Jack asked, Sun translating the whole time.

"No, none of that… but she can't move." Charlie panicked.

"We should go… uh, what do we need? Uh… uh, towels, bandages, hot water, how do we take hot water?"

"I'm sure you'll figure all that out," Jack said, "all right, you tell Jin to take Charlie back with him and go back to Claire."

"I can do that, I know I can… that dilating thing, how do I look out for that?"

"Carmen, I need you to…"

"No, Jack," I said. "I can't leave him." Jack looked to me, torn.

"Charlie, listen to me. Tell Kate… Charlie, look at me. Tell Kate to wait until the contractions are sixty seconds apart, you got that? Now she's gonna need to make sure that Claire pushes… not too hard, not too fast, just until the head is clear, and then as hard as she can. Now when the baby is out, make sure she clears it's nose and it's mouth."

"Okay, but you'll be there by then, right?" Charlie asked.

"No, I won't," Jack said, "I'm not goin' anywhere." Charlie wanted to argue, but knew he couldn't. "Now you tell Kate… she's gonna have to deliver this baby."

* * *

"You should have gone with them," Jack said. I looked up to see him holding his arm.

"What?"

"You should've gone to Claire," He repeated. I shook my head and looked down to Boone.

"I wouldn't have known what to do more than Kate would've…"

"Except for the fact that you've already delivered," He said. I looked up at him, shocked, but trying to conceal it. "The stretch marks on your stomach… teenagers don't get those at the beach, Carmen." I looked back down, embarrassed.

"Screwed myself up pretty bad, huh?" Boone said. I looked down at him. He barely opened his eyes. "My leg hurts…"

"Don't try to move it… can you breathe okay?" Jack asked him.

"It fell on me," Boone said.

"What fell?"

"The plane… it was, it was the plane…" Boone said. I looked to Jack, wondering if he was having memory problems.

"Boone… Boone, Locke said you fell from a cliff," Jack said.

"No… no.. it, it fell, the plane… it was cause of the hatch… the hatch…"

"Boone…" I started.

"Boone, Boone, stay with me, man. Hey, stay with me…"

"Locke said… John said… John said… not to tell… about the hatch…"

"What did Locke do? What hatch, what are you…"

"My leg hurts…" His eyes closed slowly and he faded quickly.

"Boone… Boone!"

"Jack, leave him," I said. "He's in a lot of pain." Jack walked backwards.

"What hatch…"

"I don't know," I said. "But I'm sure we'll figure it out."

* * *

Jack was getting ready to cut Boone's leg off. I didn't see him prepare the luggage bin, but Sun told me. Sun was giving Boone a drink right now. He coughed.

"Get a gauze," I told her. She put it in front of his lips as Michael and Jack brought around their stretcher.

"Jack," Sun said, showing him the gauze. I looked to see it was covered in blood.

"Let's go," Jack told Michael.

"Jack…"

"On three: one…"

"Jack!"

"Two… three!" Jack counted, lifting Boon off his bed.

"Why are you doing this?!" Sun yelled. "He's bleeding inside. You're not helping him! You can't save him Jack! You just can't…"

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" Jack yelled at her. I walked out of the room and over to a tree, where I did get sick. When I was done, I sat back against a rock by the creek, waiting for the slamming of metal, and the screaming.

* * *

_I sat on the couch, looking at the picture of Morgan in my hands. The last time I looked at the clock, it was 4:00 in the morning. I put the picture close to my chest and held it there when a pounding came on the door._

"_Carmen, it's me," Josh yelled through the door. I dropped the picture on the couch and ran to the door. I unlocked it, and Josh was in the door before I could open it. He ran past me and went to the closet and pulled out a backpack that we had used to come here with._

"_Josh, where have you been, what are you doing…" He was putting my clothes in the bag, and money from his wallet. "Josh, what's going on…"_

"_Your parents are here," He said. I stopped._

"_Where…"_

"_They were at the police station."_

"_What were you doing at the police station?"_

"_It's a long story, Carmen…"_

"_Josh, tell me!" He looked up to me. "Please!" He pulled me over to the couch and sat me down._

"_I went out for a walk… I needed to think… and it started raining, and I saw this man shot another guy down. I called the cops on 'im, and when I was at the station, I saw your parents…"_

"_Did they see you?"_

"_I don't think so. But Carmen," He said, "Morgan's in L.A. They said that if you weren't here in Sydney, then you'd be in L.A., because Morgan's family moved there." I was crying now. "I used all our money… I've got a ticket for you… tomorrow, going to L.A."_

"_But what about you…"_

"_Carmen… we don't have that money. I'll sell the apartment, keep working for the money and meet you up there as soon as I can. Carmen… you need to leave. Now." I ran to the suitcase, shoving in my hairbrush and toothbrush, and more clothes. I picked it up and put it on my back, running over to Josh. He was standing, and he put the picture of Morgan in my bag._

"_I don't want to leave you," I said crying._

"_I don't want to leave you either," He said, "but I'll be fine. And I know you'll be okay. I love you."_

"_I love you, too."_

* * *

"Carmen," Jack called. I walked into the enclosed area to see Boone, with both legs still attached to his body.

"What…"

"Boone… he doesn't want me to… he'd rather…" I shook my head, but Jack looked down at the ground. I walked to his side.

"Boone…"

"Hey, kid," He said. I was crying again.

"Boone, we can save you…"

"No… you can't. Take… my necklace…"

"Don't talk like that…"

"Carmen…"

"I'm a mother… that night… I have a daughter… her name is Morgan."

"I'm sure… she's… beautiful. … Tell Shannon… tell Shannon… tell..."

I held my breath, waiting for an answer I knew would never come. I held his hand and fell onto his chest, crying, screaming out his name, praying he would come back, even for just a moment. I felt alone, and sick. I picked up the necklace that had been thrown on the cart earlier, and walked out into the woods and to the beach. I sat in the sand the rest of the night and stared out at the ocean, silent tears drifting down my cheeks.

* * *

I watched as Jack told Shannon her brother had died. Someone sat down in the sand beside me, but I didn't turn to see them. I looked back out at the ocean.

"I heard, uh… Kate told me…" Sawyer said. A tear rolled down my cheek. "He was a great guy." I nodded slowly, tightening my lips.

"Yeah, he was," I said roughly.

"I'm sorry, Carmen," He said. And as soon as someone finally said it, I broke down again, as if I were laying on his chest again. Sawyer pulled me up against him as I cried, Boone's necklace in my hands.

**It took me 6 1/2 hours to write this, not to mention planning. And I'm still on the verge of tears. I'm going to bed to be emo. I'm gonna watch Lost all night with my Oreos and Sunny D. (It doesn't sound good, but you don't even know)**


	21. The Greater Good

**Okay, it's easier for me to write, now. This episode's a little everywhere- just keep up with me, kay? Alrighty- The Greater Good!**

I sat by the side of the grave that had been dug, Sawyer beside me. I looked up to see Hurley and Jack, carrying Boone's stretcher down to the grave, wrapped in a blue tarp. I slipped his necklace over my neck and stood up, Sawyer following suit. He wrapped his arm around me and held my shoulder. I stared at Boone's cold face, wanting it to move, but knowing it wouldn't. People gathered around us, and as Jack covered Boone's face with the tarp, I blinked and looked to Sawyer. He pulled me closer into him and held me there.

"Shannon," Jack asked. I looked over to her. She looked just as sad as me. "Do you wanna… you wanna say something?" He asked. She shook her head, and quietly whispered "no." Jack nodded, and looked to me. I wanted to say no, but Sawyer spoke for me.

"She can't," Sawyer said. I nuzzled my cheek against him, thanking him silently for his help.

"I didn't know Boone very well," Sayid said. I didn't look at him, but I felt Sawyer turn. "and for that I am sorry. On our sixth day here, a woman named Joanna died. She drowned. And Boone was the first one into the water. I didn't know him… but I'll remember his courage… and I know he will be missed." There was a brief silence, as we waited for Jack to bury him.

"It was my fault," Locke said. I looked up and turned around to see John, his once white shirt now yellow, and red at the top from Boone's blood. "We found a plane… a beechcraft, in the jungle, it was, it was lodged in the canopy, so… I would've gone up, but I… my leg was hurt, so he… there was a radio inside… and he thought he could… but his weight must've made the plane shift, and then it fell and… happened because he was tryin' to help us. He was a hero." Everyone was silent, some in shock that came back, others confused, but others in anger. Others like Jack and me.

"Where were you?" Jack asked. I didn't turn to look at him. I stared at John, waiting for an answer. "Where were you?" Jack asked again. "Where the hell were you, you son of a bitch?!" Jack yelled, running past me. "What did you do to him?!" Jack jumped on John, throwing them both to the ground. Sawyer ran to him, but I stood still, staring at them fighting. The group pulled Jack off of John quickly, but he was still putting up a fight. "Where were you?! Where were you?" Jack yelled. He calmed suddenly and stood still, something wrong.

"Jack? Jack, what's the matter?" Kate asked, nervous. He fell to the ground. I ran forward and crouched down next to him.

"Get some water!" Sawyer yelled.

"Breath, Jack!" I said. He let out a breath, and started panting.

"He's okay," Charlie said. I got up and looked to John, laying on the sand. He stared at me. I walked past him and to my tent.

* * *

"I got you! Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum, OW!" Hurley sang. The baby cried louder. "Dude, that's all I got." I smiled.

"Having baby troubles, Charlie?" I asked. He walked forward to me.

"Yeah, I just can't get him to settle down," He said.

"Could I, um," I asked softly, "Could I hold him?" He smiled.

"Sure," He said, handing him to me. I let the baby rest on my arms, my right hand supporting his head. The baby calmed and stopped crying. "Hey," Charlie smiled. "There you go." The baby grabbed onto my necklace and waved it back and forth in his hand.

"Has Claire given him a name yet?" I asked. Charlie shook his head.

"Not yet." I nodded, and handed the baby back to him.

"I have some work to do on the raft," I said, walking off. The baby started crying again. I turned and smiled. "Good luck."

* * *

I tied the cord tightly around the bamboo and through the metal whole. Sawyer came up to me and sat down on the side of the raft.

"So, uh, I was talkin' to Mike, and um… that spot's still available," Sawyer said. I looked up to him and then slowly back down at my work. "Come on, Carmen. I've got it settled. We'll get rescued, and I'll get you out of there before your parents find you." I looked back up at him, aware of his volume. "Sorry," He said. "But Carmen, I'll keep you safe. You just need to… come with me." I smiled at him, and looked back down at my work.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"Okay?" He repeated. I nodded. "Alright!" He yelled.

"If you work on the raft with us," I said. He looked at me, skeptical. I smiled.

"Fine," He agreed, grabbing a piece of metal and carrying it around the raft. Charlie was there with the baby, still screaming like all hell. "Hey, Chucky, wanna keep that kid quiet? Baby Huey's like nails on a chalkboard." The baby quieted.

"Ah… there you go… happy now?" Charlie asked. And the baby started crying again.

"I was," Sawyer commented. "If you're gonna play nursemaid, at least do the damn job." And the baby got quiet again.

"Hey… say somethin' else," Charlie said to Sawyer. Sawyer was confused. "Just say something , say anything!"

"Okay, fine. I liked that thing a whole lot better inside than I like it outside." I got up and walked down the beach, needing a break from everything. I saw Sayid, Jack and Kate talking, somewhat upset. I ran over.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"The key to the gun case is gone… it was Locke," Jack said.

"Jack!" Sayid called as Jack walked away. "It wasn't Locke."

"Oh my God, Shannon," I said. We ran through the jungle, looking for her.

"Where's Locke?" Kate called.

"I don't know!" Sayid answered, but we kept running. I ran behind Sayid, and suddenly Jack fell. I turned around.

"Go! Go…" I kept running, knowing Kate would stop for him. I caught up to Sayid, and he suddenly stopped. I looked in front of him to see John, sitting with his arms outstretched. I looked to the right to see Shannon, holding a gun and pointing it at him.

"Shannon? Shannon! Please listen to me…"

"He did it! I know it!"

"You're not thinking rationally… you've never fired a gun before," Sayid said. She moved the gun to the left and fired. I jumped back. "Shannon! You don't want to do this!"

"Yes I do!"

"If you do it, you can never take it back!" Kate and Jack came through the jungle, only a few feet from Shannon.

"Stay back!" She yelled at them. "What did you do to him?!"

"I told you it was an accident…" John said.

"Shannon…" Jack interrupted.

"Jack, you told me he was a liar!" She said. Jack looked to John. I leaned forward to Sayid.

"You're going to need to do this," I told him. Sayid jumped forward just as she fired the gun and tackled her to the ground. I looked to John, who fell to the ground. I couldn't move. I fell forward next to him, and he raised his arms, feeling the air for help. I looked up at the sky, the rain falling in my eyes. I stood up. "You're fine," I said angrily, following after Shannon.

* * *

I sat by the fire. I wasn't cold, but I didn't want to move. Sawyer sat down next to me.

"Ol' Bilbo made me read to his kid today," He said. I smiled.

"Shannon tried to shoot Locke today," I said. He looked at me, and I looked back. "I win." He laughed.

"Thanks for comin' on the raft with me," He said. I smiled.

"I just… don't want to be here the rest of my life, you know?" I said. He nodded.

"You just want away from it now," He said. I nodded. He put his hand on my shoulder. "You should go to bed… it's late."

I laughed a little. "What am I, four?" He smiled. "I am tired..."

**Okay, if you remember the next episode, Sawyer's plans get jeopardized. Keep reading! We're almost done with Season 1!!**


	22. Born to Run

**Okay- Born to Run!**

**DISCLAIMER FOR THE PAST CHAPTERS: I don't own Lost. Lalalala**

"I was just assuming you didn't wanna die," He said. I shook my head.

"So, uh, when's the next time we can launch?" Michael asked. Dr. Arzt shrugged.

"Three… maybe four months?" He suggested.

"Come, even the weatherman on TV don't know what's gonna happen!" Sawyer yelled. "Why are we listenin' to Arzt?"

"Because I'm a doctor, and you're a hillbilly."

"You're a damn high school science teacher…"

"Hey, Sawyer, just let the man talk," Jack said. Sawyer looked at Jack, annoyed.

"It's been raining every afternoon. That means we are on the cusp of monsoon season. Monsoon season… is bad. Now, the trade winds… are blowing north right now! The shipping lanes are north, so north is exactly where you wanna be!"

"What's that mean?" Michael asked.

"That means when the monsoon season hits, the trade winds are gonna shift to the south. The raft… goes with the wind. Can anyone tell me: what is the only piece of land that's south of us?" Arzt asked.

"Antarctica," Jack said quickly. Yeah, I bet he was a nerd in school.

"That's right, Jack. Antarctica."

"So when do we have to leave," Michael asked. Arzt shrugged.

"Yesterday."

* * *

I stood on the raft, waiting for a piece of metal Michael was bringing.

"Yo, chief," Sawyer asked, "dumb question here. We're sailin' out on the ocean right?"

"You mind?" Michael asked, lugging the metal piece over the sand.

"Sulu over here is packin' a suitcase full of salted fish," He said.

"Yeah?"

"We can't catch fish?" Sawyer asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you know anything about surviving at sea? Sailing, navigating, steering a raft?" Michael asked. Sawyer looked a little frazzled.

"Do you?"

"Doesn't matter what I know, I built it!" Michael said. I stepped down, onto the sand. "Maybe you are the wrong guy to go on the raft."

"You gonna vote me off, Mickey?" Sawyer asked. He looked over at me when he got no answer. "And who the hell's gonna take my place?" Michael shook his head and picked up the metal piece.

"I don't know," He said. "Someone with experience on boats, someone useful!"

"Like who?"

"Kate!" He yelled, dropping the piece and turning back at him.

"Kate?" Sawyer repeated, angry. He stormed off quickly. I looked to Michael and ran after him. I was further behind him, so walked into the conversation a little late.

"I was just asking some questions," Kate said, putting something in her bag and standing up. "He must've misunderstood me." She started to walk away, but Sawyer grabbed her arm.

"I know what you're doing…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

"Sawyer, get off of her," I started, but he didn't let me continue.

"Get out 'a here, Carmen," He said.

"Sawyer…"

"Go back to the damn raft!" He yelled. I backed up and looked at his face. I could see the anger and nervousness in his eyes. I walked back and turned to get back to the raft. I walked over and sat down next to a tree, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip. Michael was talking to Walt on the side of the boat.

"Can't we fly around and look for it?" Walt asked.

"Absolutely, but there's no guarantees. That's why you and…" Michael stopped abruptly. I looked up at him, to see him hunched over a little, as if someone had hit him in the stomach. "Ooh… that's why… you and… oh…" Michael fell over again. I got up and ran over to him.

"Dad!" Walt yelled, his hand on his back. I knelt down next to Michael.

"Get Jack!" He said.

"Walt, go," I said. Walt stood there, staring at his dad a second. "Walt, go!" He ran off. "Michael, what's wrong?" I asked.

"My stomach…"

"Okay, you need to sit down," I turned and looked back at the tree I was just leaning against. "Jin!" I called. He jumped down off the raft. "Help," I said. Jin grabbed Michael's other arm and slung it over his shoulders, as I did the same. We dragged him over the sand to the tree. "Okay, here, stop." I set him down. And rested him back against the tree, waiting for Jack.

* * *

I sat on the raft, sipping from my water bottle.

"Thought, you might need that, boss," Sawyer said. I looked up at saw him talking to Michael. Michael looked angry. I screwed the cap on the water bottle. "Wouldn't want our pilot out of commission right before take-off."

"What, you feeling guilty?" Michael asked, holding a bottle of pepto bismol.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"You're off the raft," Michael said, throwing the bottle back at his feet.

"Come again?" Sawyer asked in disbelief.

"You're off the raft!" Michael yelled.

"We had a deal…"

"Yeah, well the deal ended the minute you decided to poison me," Michael said.

"I did what now?!" Sawyer asked.

Michael waved and looked away. "I'm done with you."

"You're not done with me by a damn-sight. You said you needed five!"

"I got five!" Michael stood up slowly, still sick to his stomach. "You've been… stealing stuff offa dead bodies, keepin' it for yourself, usin' it to buy favors! You're a liar, and a criminal! And I'm not lettin' you near my boy!"

"Oh, I'm a criminal, huh?" Sawyer asked, approaching Michael. "I poisoned you, cause I'm a criminal!" Jin stood up and pushed Jin away from Michael. "Get your hands off me, boy." I jumped off the raft and crossed my arms over my chest. "Hey sweet cheeks!" Sawyer said as he walked towards Kate. "I had no idea how bad you wanted offa this rock. Time to set things straight." Sawyer grabbed her arm and pulled her towards Michael.

"Let go of me," Kate warned.

"Tell 'im who the criminal is!"

"Oy, leave her alone, man!"

"Tell 'im!" Sawyer yelled. Kate stared silently at Michael. Sawyer grabbed the backpack off of Kate;s shoulders and opened it.

"Give that back!" Kate said, reaching for it.

"Leave her alone!" Michael yelled.

"Leave her alone," Sawyer repeated.

"Give that back," Kate reached again. Sawyer emptied the bag and things fell onto the sand. Sawyer snatched something from the ground and looked at it.

"M-hm. Look. Look at this…" Sawyer held a passport in his hand.

"Sawyer… please…" Kate pleaded. I knew- Sawyer was about to tell everyone she was a criminal.

"You all remember Joanna, don't you? Huh? The woman who drowned? Now, what's Kate doin' with poor Joanna's I.D.? Could it be she'd do just about anything to get on that raft, so she can get herself rescued, run off with a new identity before half the reporters in the world descend on this damn island? She might even poison the captain himself…"

"Shut up!" Kate yelled.

"She don't care about nothin' or nobody but herself," Sawyer added, looking to Kate for a reaction. I stood behind her, waiting to hear her story. "You wanna tell us why you need to run so bad? You wanna tell us the truth?" Kate was silent, and stared at Sawyer in agony.

"Yes," She said. "I was on the plane… with the marshal. Yes, I was wanted and… caught… and being transported back. No matter what I say about what happened, about what I supposedly did… I'm going to jail." She moved towards Michael. "But I didn't poison you…" Michael took a step back, and after a long silence, handed the passport to Sawyer.

"Here," He said, and then moved away. I walked backwards a moment, and then turned and left the raft, walking to my tent.

* * *

I sat by the fire with Sawyer. I wanted to say something to tell him he was wrong about what he did to Kate. I knew, though, that he did it so he could get out of here with me… so that he could run. And I wanted him to help me… I wanted us to be friends, and I wanted to have someone to depend on for once, instead of feigning hope and happiness to encourage others. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You didn't have to be so mean to Kate," I said. I felt him move his head.

"I had to… to stay on the raft…"

"You could've just told Michael, you didn't have to announce her criminal record in front of the whole camp," I said. He was quiet. "I'm glad you're still on the raft, though." He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

"Me, too… sleep well, kiddo," He said, standing up, "big day tomorrow."

**Okie dokie. I'll write another soon!**


	23. Exodus Part 1

**SORRY! It's been a long time since I've written, but I've been very busy… okay, let's launch the raft!**

"Dad!" Someone yelled. I opened my eyes to see the bright sun reflecting off of the water and sand. I sat up.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop!" Michael yelled. I got up quickly and turned to see a tall woman with dark hair, holding a shot gun.

"Sawyer!" I yelled, hurrying towards her. Before I knew it, Sawyer was next to me, pushing me behind him protectively. Now there were a lot of people around to see this woman.

"Stay right there, who is that?" Michael asked all of us.

"It's gotta be the French chick…" Sawyer said.

"Calm down, everyone! It's alright," Sayid called out, hurrying towards the woman. Claire's baby started crying, and the French woman turned to it as if she'd never heard a baby cry. "Danielle? Danielle?" Sayid repeated, capturing Danielle's attention. She turned to him slowly. "What are you doing here?" She paused a moment, staring at Sayid.

"The others are coming," She said plainly. Sayid stared at her. I stood closer to Sawyer.

"Who's she talking abou…"

"I don't know," Sawyer said, holding my hand.

"Our ship went aground, on this island, sixteen years ago. There were six of us… my team… six… at that time, I was already seven months pregnant. I delivered the infant myself. The baby and I were together for only one week… when I saw black smoke. A pillar of black smoke, five kilometers inland. That night… they came. They came and took her, Alex. They took my baby," She said. I watched her, and she looked as if she had settled with this fact, but like it had driven her insane. "And now… they're coming again. They're coming for all of you."

"Who's coming?" Jack asked.

"The others," She said in desperation. "You have only three choices. Run… hide… or die." I turned around and walked to my tent with Sawyer.

"What you thinkin'?" Sawyer asked after a while. I shook my head as I pushed clothing into my backpack.

"I don't know…"

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'…"

"I mean," I started yelling, but I looked up at him. He looked genuinely concerned. "I don't know," I said, more relaxed.

"Hey," Sawyer said, lifting my chin to look at him. "I'm getting you out of here…"

"Yeah, Sawyer, but what about everyone else?" I said, scared. He looked at me, trying to comfort me. "I mean… we might get out of here, but what about everyone here? Claire? The baby? Hurley? Jack?" I started. Sawyer looked unaffected. "Kate?" His face relaxed.

"Hey," Someone said from behind Sawyer. He moved over to reveal Jack. "We need everyone finishing on the raft." I nodded and looked to Sawyer. We got up and ran over to the raft.

* * *

"So listen, on my count, I'll do '1, 2, 3,' lift, and then push, okay? You got it? You got it? Okay, come on," Michael said. I gripped the rope tightly. I was pulling after the raft was lifted. "Once we get it down to the waterline, we'll drop it and load it up. Alright, ready? Okay. One! Two! Three! Lift!" Sawyer and Hurley were in the back, and lifted the raft up using tree limbs. The raft creaked and cried with everyone lifting. "Push!" Michael yelled. I gripped the rope and pulled as hard as I could, letting all my body weight collapse on the rope. "Push! Come on, guys! Push!" I pulled the rope, barely moving my hands. I felt the raft move towards me a little, but just barely. "Push! Use the levers, use the levers! Down!" The raft was almost dropped. "Down… good, good. One, two, three, lift!" The raft lifted from the ground again. "Hey, keep it straight!" Jin yelled something in Korean.

"Wait! Stop!" I yelled, as I watched the raft slowly drift away to the side.

"Wow, wow, wow!" The raft dropped and the mast fell to the side and off the raft. "No, come on! I can't believe this..." Michael said, turning to Sawyer, " I can't believe this."

"What are you lookin' at me for, it's not my fault!" Sawyer yelled.

"You missed the lever!" Michael yelled.

"Just because you couldn't keep the raft goin' straight!" I dropped my rope and put my hands on my hips and looked up. My hands dropped to my sides.

"Dad!" Walt yelled. Slowly, everyone walked away from the raft and watched the pillar of black smoke float into the sky.

"No…" I whispered.

* * *

"All I can tell you right now is that we do have a plan. We've gotta go into the jungle to get some supplied. We'll be back in a few hours. In the meantime, do everything you can to help Michael get the raft on the water. And after that, go to the caves. We'll be back as soon as we can, I promise," Jack said, then walked off. I ran over to Hurley who was just walking way.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Uh… the sky?" Hurley said. I laughed.

"I mean… what's his 'plan'?" I asked.

"Oh, well, we're gonna go to the dark territory and black rock," He said. I stopped and stared at him. "Dude, I still don't know which is which. Anyway, there's dynamite over there somewhere, and we're gonna blow up this thing to put everyone in so the other dudes won't find us," He said. I nodded slowly. "Do you understand anything I'm sayin?"

"No," I said. He nodded.

"Right," He said, walking off.

* * *

"Getting' out of here already?" I asked Jack. He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, we're…"

"I know," I said. He laughed and shook his head.

"You weren't supposed to," He looked at me.

"I know," I smiled. I walked to him and threw my arms around his neck. "Take care of yourself."

"You too," Jack said. Kate walked up behind him and nodded to me. I walked slowly to her and hugged her softly, my arms on her back and hers on mine.

"Be careful out there," She said when she let go.

"Dido," I told her. She laughed. I ran over the sand to Hurley and threw my arms around his big body as far as they could reach. He reached around me and picked me up, wagging me back and forth. I laughed. "You're crushing me!" I yelled. He laughed and dropped me down on the sand.

"Hey, I better see you again, and with a bunch of other dudes on a boat, or a helicopter, or something!" He laughed. I smiled and hugged him again.

"Be careful, Hurley," I said. He hugged me back, softer this time. We let go, and he walked away. Locke walked by and smiled as he passed. I nodded with a soft smile. I might never see these people again, I thought, as they walked into the jungle.

* * *

"Hey, chief!" Sawyer yelled. I looked up to see Sawyer, sweaty and shirtless, dropping a large stalk of bamboo. "Cut and measured to length… a perfect mass." I stood and looked to Michael.

"Thanks…"

"Well alright," Sawyer said. He picked up the stalk and started handing it up to Michael and Jin. "Now, are we gonna get off this rock, or just stand around and talk about it?" I smiled. After getting in up to Jin and Michael, he sat down in the sand, tired. I looked down at him.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked him.

"Cause I knew you wouldn't," Sawyer said, quoting Breakfast Club. I laughed a little.

"Sawyer…" I smiled, sitting next to him. "Thanks."

* * *

"Carmen?" Sun asked. I smiled and walked to her. She looked upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She looked past me. I turned around to look at Jin, putting finishing touches on the mast. I nodded. "Have you talked to him?" I asked. She shook her head. I tilted my head. She held the papers in her hand close to her chest and walked past me to Jin. I walked away, and turned and looked back, to see Jin crying, and they kissed. I smiled, and walked away.

"Aye, Carmen!"

"Oh, Charlie!" I hugged Charlie, as he shook me back and forth. I almost wanted to cry. "I'm going to miss you!"

"Same here," He smiled.

"Help Claire with the little guy," I added. He smiled.

"Promise." I put my hand on his shoulder. I walked past him to Claire, who was holding her baby.

"When you gonna name him?" I asked her, smiling.

"By the time you rescue him, he'll have a name," She smiled. I hugged her tightly, and kissed the baby boy on his soft forehead. "Jack told me…" Claire started. I looked up at her. "That you've… that you had," She looked down at her baby and back up at me. Jack had told her I had a kid. "Was it a boy or a…"

"Girl," I said. She smiled. I walked off to the side with her.

"My boyfriend and me… we were stupid, and I got pregnant, yeah," I said. She nodded.

"What was his name?" She asked. I narrowed my eyebrows. "Your boyfriend." I relaxed my face.

"Aaron," I said. She nodded. I smiled. We hugged again, and I walked away. I don't know why I lied… and I don't know where Aaron came from, but it was the first name that popped into my head. It didn't matter anyway. I walked up to Shannon, who was holding Vincent's leash in her hand. I hugged her softly.

"Get me out of here," She said, almost scared. I pulled away and nodded, smiling. I walked over and hugged Sayid.

"Be careful, Carmen… watch out for Walt, and everyone. You are very strong," He said, putting his hand on my shoulder like some distant uncle. I hugged him again.

"I'll miss you…" I said. He pulled away.

"This is not the last time we will meet, Carmen. It's only for now." I smiled and nodded, knowing fully well that wasn't true.

"That's it!" Michael yelled as he climbed onto the raft. Sawyer and Jin climbed onto the raft, Jin moving up to the mast. I held Sawyer's hand,

"We're finally getting' outta here," I said, smiling. He smiled back.

"Go back, Vincent! Go back!" Walt yelled. I looked out at the water to see Vincent, swimming towards us, and then turning around. I smiled at the adorable sight, missing my dogs from what seemed like ages ago. The mast flew open, and the cheers from the beaches brought me back. I stared at them as the people on the island waved, and gradually got smaller. I would never see any of them again…

**Okay, next episode may be long, may be short, but the ending is so VERY important. See you soon!**


	24. Exodus Part 2

**Okay, to wrap up season one, here's Exodus Part 1… say goodbye to you-know-who… but what will happen to Carmen? Hm…**

"Dad, look," Walt said. I turned along with Sawyer to see the island. It looked much more peaceful from back here… when you're on the sand, you have to think about 'others,' monsters, and other crazy shit.

"How's a place this big never get discovered?" Michael asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"Don't know," Sawyer said, "But you could build yourself a hell of a beach resort right over there."

"Yeah, you build your resort. I'm happy to say goodbye to this place forever," Michael said. I turned and pushed myself up on top of the plane wreckage, and picked up my book.

"What about everybody else?" Walt asked. I picked up my book, but didn't read it. Everyone else went on talking, as I looked up and out at the quiet island. I hated to admit it to myself, but I was going to miss the place. Yeah, I had to worry constantly about the people around me, but I couldn't get to Morgan or Josh, so I didn't fret over it. I couldn't have a rent to not make payments for, I couldn't have a job that was too much for me to handle. I couldn't be so sad, so I wasn't.

"Man, who doesn't like Bob Marley?" Michael asked Sawyer. Whoa, I missed something. I looked down at the book, _Of Mice and Men_. I had read it before, but I wasn't really reading it now anyway.

* * *

I sat on the front of the boat, by the mass, and looked out at the water lying ahead of us. Which was a lot.

"So what's this stuff even do?" Walt asked.

"Well, the transmitter sends out an S.O.S. in case there's someone listening. And if there's anything out there, we'll see it on the radar screen here," Michael said. "Here we go!" He said. I turned around. He had turned on the transmitter. I looked out in front of me again.

"Nothing's going to show up yet," I said to Michael.

"Sayid said to turn it on every hour, fifteen minutes," He said. I shook my head.

"Who the hell is Hugo, and how's he got 160 Million to leave to his mom?" Sawyer said loudly. I turned around to see Sawyer, holding small slips of paper, and holding the bottle under his foot. It was the messages everyone sent to the mainland.

"How would you like it if I read yours?" Walt asked him.

"You can't read mine, cause I didn't write one," He said. I slipped off of the wreckage.

"Why not?"

"Cause the only letter I ever wrote was to the man I'm gonna kill," Sawyer said. I walked towards him.

"Why you gonna kill him?" Walt asked.

"Cause I need to."

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Sawyer!" I said. He looked up. Walt looked down at Sawyer, then walked back to his dad. "Do you have to be so blunt with him?" I asked.

"He asked…"

"Sawyer," I insisted.

"Fine…"

"And stop reading those," I said. He looked up at me. "They're private." He sighed, looked down at the slips of paper, and then picked up the bottle.

"Fine. Happy?" He asked.

"Yes."

* * *

I leaned forward as the raft lurched over a log. Something splashed into the water. I turned around.

"Rudder!" Jin yelled, pointing at the piece of metal floating on the water.

"Hey! We hit a log, we lost the rudder!" Michael yelled.

"Rudder! Rudder!" Jin yelled.

"We're losing it! It's sinking!" Michael yelled. "Stop the boat!" I looked to Sawyer, who was taking off his shirt.

"Sawyer, wait!" I yelled.

"Just put the sail down… right…" Michael told Jin. I turned back to Sawyer, now diving into the water.

"Sawyer!" I yelled, hurrying to the edge of the raft.

"Get the rope!" I yelled, to Michael.

"Gimme the rope!"

"Rope!"

"Sawyer!" I yelled.

"It's sinking!" He yelled back. I twirled the rope over my head and threw it out to him. "I can't reach it!" I pulled the rope back into me quickly, and threw it again. Sawyer swam to it, then back to the rudder.

"Tie it around the rudder, and we'll pull you in!" Michael yelled. I pulled the rope towards me, Michael and Jin pulling behind me.

"Michael… Michael, Sawyer," Jin said. I dropped the rope as Jin reached for the rudder. I walked over and helped him pull it up.

"Got it," I said, as I put it down slowly on the raft. I walked over to Sawyer. Michael handed Sawyer his shirt, then walked away. I smacked Sawyer on the shoulder. "You ass, you scared me to death." Sawyer laughed a little while he caught his breath. I hugged his soaking wet head and kissed the top of it. "You asshole." He laughed again.

I sat beside him, quiet. "What are you gonna do?" He asked.

"What?"

"You know… when we get rescued?" Sawyer asked me. I shrugged.

"Get out of there as fast as I can… go to Sydney, or L.A…. somewhere before my parents come," I said. He nodded.

"You're old enough to be emancipated, aren't you?" He asked. I looked to him.

"Yeah… why?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't know," He smiled. I laughed.

* * *

I sat my head against the plane wreckage, tired from the long day.

"I turned it on a little while ago," Michael said. I looked up to see Sawyer's head.

"Sayid said every hour," Sawyer said.

"Look, we're fifteen miles out. We could be here for weeks. If that battery runs out…"

"Man said every hour." I sighed with annoyance. They turned on the transmitter. "Nothing." I banged my head against the wreckage.

"Five minutes, no more," Michael said.

"Aye-aye. Know what I like about you, Mike? You got the patience of a saint," Sawyer said. I looked up at the starry sky.

"Yeah? Why you say that?"

"I've seen the way he talks to you. The way he runs around, does whatever the hell he wants. I'd have shown him the back of my hand a long time ago."

"You would, huh?" Michael asked, judgingly.

"Hell of a lot cheaper than a shrink."

"Is that what your father did to you? Show you the back of his hand?"

"My daddy never got a chance to beat me. He shot himself when I was eight," Sawyer said.

"That why you wanna die, man?" Michael asked. I stood up quickly and turned around.

"What?"

"Since the day you told me you wanted on this raft, I couldn't figure it out. Why does a guy who only cares about himself want to risk his life to save everyone else? Yeah… way I see it, there's only two choices. You're either a hero, or you wanna die," Michael figured. I looked to Sawyer.

"Well… I ain't no hero," He said. I turned away. A beep came from behind me. I looked back at him. Sawyer was staring at the radar. I ran up to him and looked. "That what I think it is?"

"Something's out there," Michael said. I stared at the screen.

"We're getting out of here…"

"It's closer… it's closer. Give me the damn flare gun!" Sawyer said, reaching for the gun.

"Hold on a second…"

"It's closer, I'm telling you, look at it!"

"Look, I know, okay? I got one flare, one flare," Michael said. Jin said something excitedly in Korean. "I know, okay, you don't see anything, okay."

"What the hell are you expecting to see? In case, you haven't noticed, it's dark!" Sawyer yelled.

"What is it? Is it a ship?" Walt asked, waking up.

"We don't know, little man, we don't know," Michael said.

"Starboard, port?" Jin asked.

"Uh… port… port!" Michael told him. Jin said something else. "Okay, what the hell am I supposed to do about that?"

"Hey, Han! You and Chewie wanna slow down a second and talk to me here? We have to fire the flare!" Sawyer said.

"We don't know what it is, it could be anything, a piece of floating junk. We don't even know if Sayid's radar works!"

"You ever know that guy to fix somethin' up that don't work?!" Sawyer complained.

"Guys!" I yelled.

"It's moving away," Walt said, hopelessly.

"Floating junk knows how to steer, huh?" Sawyer asked.

"We're moving, it doesn't mean…"

"Look, are you gonna give me the damn gun, or am I gonna have to take it?!" Sawyer threatened.

"Sawyer, stop!" I yelled.

"What are you gonna do? Shoot me?" Michael asked. I looked to Sawyer.

"It's almost gone!" Walt said. We stared at Michael, holding the gun in his hand. "Come on!" Walt pleaded.

"Please… God…" Michael asked. He shoot the gun straight into the air as Jin took down the mass. The beeping stopped. I closed my eyes, holding Sawyer's hand. The beeping came back. I opened my eyes.

"It's coming back! It's coming back…" Walt said. I looked at the radar to see it coming towards us.

"Live with me," Sawyer said. I looked at him.

"What?"

"Get emancipated! You can live at my place," He said. I smiled.

"I don't know," I said.

"Shh!" Jin said. We went to the side of the boat. We could hear the tumbling water, hitting something. A switch turned on and a bright light shone in my face.

"Hey!" I yelled, waving my arms and squinting my arms. "Oh my God!" I yelled. Sawyer picked me up and spun me around. "Yes!" I told him. He looked down at me. "Yes, I'll live with you!" Sawyer yelled with excitement.

"What's goin' on? What are you folks doin' this far out here?" A man with a bushy beard asked.

"Hey, we were on a plane! The plane crashed, we been on an island for a month, man!" Michael yelled.

"Plane crash, huh? Well, how 'bout that?" The man asked.

"We were on an island! Uh, flight 815, hey, where are we?" Michael asked.

"It's a good thing we found you," The man said.

"Yeah, yeah, we survived, and there's a whole group of people on the other…"

"Well ain't that somethin'? Only the thing is," He said, "We're gonna have to take the kids." I smiled at him, confused.

"What? What'd you say?" Michael asked.

"The kids," He said. My smile died, replaced by fear. "We're gonna have to take them."

"Hey, what the hell is goin' on here? Who are you people?" Michael asked.

"Just give us the kids," He said. Sawyer pushed me behind him.

"I'm not givin' you anybody," Michael said. I watched as Sawyer grasped the handle of his gun.

"Well, alright then," He said. The light turned off, as Sawyer pulled out his gun. Shots fired, and I looked away, trying to protect myself. I looked up to see Sawyer gone, and a splash in the water behind me.

"Sawyer!" Jin yelled.

"Sawyer?" I asked, confused at what was happening. Someone put their hands around my waist and lifted me up.

"Dad!"

"Hey, stop!" I screamed, kicking. They threw me onto the other boat. I hit my head hard against the woods. "Help! Sawyer! Sawyer!" I screamed. I stood up, and punched a man, but someone pulled me back down to the ground. I elbowed them as the boat started to float away, when the raft went up in a raging flame. I was taken back. "Sawyer…" Someone grabbed my arm. I pushed them away. "Get off! Fuck off! Sawyer!" I screamed. I fell down, and rolled over the side of the boat, into the water. I rose out of the water.

"Stop!" The bearded man yelled.

"We can't! Ben…" I heard them say.

"Walt! Walt!" I screamed.

"Carmen, help me!" He screamed back.

"Walt! Walt, no!"

* * *

_I held my ticket in one hand and my small carry on with clothes and money in the other. I read my seat number and looked up at the numbers… I looked down to see an Asian man and woman, talking quietly in some foreign language. I smiled lightly and put my bag in the overhead bin. I sat down next to the man and buckled my seat belt. I sighed and looked at the boarding pass in my hands._

"_Please… let her still love me," I thought. A Hispanic woman walked past me, bumping my elbow. I leaned my head back against the seat, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I closed them and shut out the voices of flight attendants. "I can't do this," I thought. "I can't help her, I can't get away from my parents, I can't… do any of this. I wish I had an excuse. I wish I didn't know where she were, or I were stuck somewhere else. I wish… I couldn't reach her…_

**What now? WHAT NOW? You'll find out. See you soon!**


	25. Adrift

**On to Season 2! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer for all of season 2: I don't own Lost (it owns me).**

"Walt!" I screamed. The small boat disappeared into the darkness. "Walt! No…" I looked around me. "Sawyer!" I called, praying for an answer that didn't come. I kicked my feet and waved my arms, keeping myself above water. I knew I couldn't keep it up very long, though. I lifted my stomach to the top of the water, and let myself float for a moment while I caught my breath. I wanted to cry, but didn't have the strength to. I might've fallen asleep. The current pulled me to my left. Something brushed against me. I panicked and lost my balance, my stomach sinking back into the water. A piece of the raft had floated next to me. I gripped the side and pulled myself onto it slowly. I lay across the bamboo. I turned over, onto my stomach. Tears burnt my eyes. I cried for a little while, until I was almost asleep. I was really tired, but too scared to fall asleep. I sat up. "Sawyer!" I screamed. "Michael! Jin! Walt!" I cried. No one answered. "Walt!" I cried again. No one answered. I laid back down on the bamboo and cried some more. Water lapped on top of me. I looked up. I could vaguely see the shore line. Waves were starting to push me in. I slipped off of the bit of raft and swam into shore. My legs were nearly numb, they were so tired. I walked onto the sand and collapsed. I lay on my back and looked at the stars. I was angry, sad, scared and lost. I closed my eyes and screamed to the heavens, hoping someone would hear. Anyone but them. I stood up and looked at my feet. Sand coated the back of my jeans, and I was sure my whole back was sandy. I started walking along the beach, hoping I would somehow run into our camp. I walked along the beach for probably an hour until my feet fell out from under me. "Help!" I screamed. I lay on the beach. I could feel consciousness slipping away from me. "Help…" I rolled my head over, and saw a tall Black man, wearing only pants and a scruffy white shirt. He looked like one of the people that was one the boat. "Where's Walt…" I asked, drifting out of consciousness. "Where's Walt?"

* * *

My eyes peered open, only to see dimmed lights, and a ceiling. I sat up slowly, and looked across the room to see a woman with dark hair. She wore a dark brown vest and jeans. I stood up slowly, and crept over to her quietly. I took her wrist and twisted it, pushing her up against the wall.

"Where's Walt?!" I screamed. She twisted around, and after I punched her once, she got a hold on my wrist and pushed me to the wall.

"Hit me again, and I kill you," She said. I tried to break free, but she had a tight grip. "If I let go, you better be a good girl, understand?" I grunted.

"Yeah," I said. She let go. I broke free and backed up. The Black man walked into the room, followed by two women and a man. One of the women had blonde hair, and looked bug eyed. The other had short brown hair. The man was kind of round, and looked nervous. "Where's Walt?" I asked again. The tall Black man walked towards me. "Stay away!" I screamed. "Where… is Walt?" I asked. The Hispanic woman that had caught me came towards me a bit.

"What's your name?" She asked. I hesitated.

"Carla," I said.

"Where did you come from, Carla?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I was… on a plane. It crashed here," I said. The Hispanic woman looked back at the Black man, and then the two other women.

"Why don't you guys go get some fish?" She asked. The blonde nodded, and the two left. The others turned away from me. I sat down in the corner quietly. I brought my knees to my chest and tucked my chin into them. I cried silently for a moment. In a few minutes, pounding came from what sounded like a thick metal. The round man ran down a hallway and a door opened.

"Eko! Come here!" A woman yelled. I stood up and ran behind the Hispanic woman to a door. The brown haired woman was there. "A man washed up on the beach!" I pushed past the Hispanic woman.

"Where? What does he look like?" I asked.

"Asian…"

"That's Jin! I know him! He was on the plane!" I said, trying to get past the tall Black man.

"Wait," He said.

"No, I know him! I have to help him! I have to see if he's okay!" I said.

"You're gonna keep your ass here," the Hispanic woman said. I turned to her.

"Oh really?" I asked. I pushed past the tall Black man.

"Ana!" The man said, and then a slam against my head, and darkness.


	26. Orientation

**Okay, episodes are going to get weird, if you didn't guess, because of how groups are split up and everything from this season on. Enjoy!**

"Ow…" My eyes refused to open to the piercing light that lay around me.

"Carmen?" I heard.

"Sawyer?" I asked.

"Yeah… yeah, yeah… you okay?" He asked. I opened my eyes to see Sawyer, Michael standing off to his left, and Jin to his right, and behind him… the Hispanic woman.

"Her! She…" She grabbed something from Sawyer's hand, and knocked him over the head.

"Back up!" She said, aiming the gun at us. "Coming out! Coming out!" The tall Black man opened a door to the pit we were in and threw down a rope that he pulled her out with.

"What happened? Who are they?" He asked. They shut the door and left us.

"Carmen… who are they?" Sawyer asked.

"What?"

"Those people…"

"Where's Walt?" Michael asked. I shook my head as I started to cry.

"I don't know Michael," I said. "I wasn't with him." He shook his head.

"What?"

"I rolled off the boat," I told them. "I… I couldn't get Walt, it's… it's my fault," I said as tears flowed from my eyes. "I landed on the beach, and Shaft found me."

"So… they could be the others…" Michael said.

"Well, how'd Maria know the flight number? She seemed pretty sure a' herself," Sawyer added. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Michael," I said. He looked away. "I'm… so sorry…" I stood and hugged Sawyer.

"Ah…"

"What?"

"My arm," Sawyer said. I looked down.

"Oh my God," I said. The hole in his arm was dirty, but had no bullet in it.

"I took the bullet out myself," Sawyer said with pride.

"Are you stupid?" I said, looking at the wound. After examining the wound, I hugged Jin and Michael. I sat down against the dirt wall and closed my eyes.

"How many?" Jin asked.

"People? Uh… five," I said. I showed the numbers on my fingers. He nodded. I laid my head back against the dirt.

"Walt!" Michael screamed out.


	27. Everybody Hates Hugo

**Okay, I'm REALLY sorry it's taken me so long to update… junior year, AP courses… it sucks. Anyway, Everybody hates Hugo, coming at ya! Enjoy!**

"Let us outta here!" Michael yelled. I opened my eyes.

"Enough… just chill!" Sawyer yelled, standing up. I lost my balance when his shoulder disappeared from under me, and I fell to the warm dirt. I looked up.

"Every moment I spend down here is another minute my boy is still out there," Michael said, leaning back against the wall of the pit.

"Well lemme break it down for you, Mike-y," Sawyer said, sitting next to Michael on the ground. "Right now, Rambina and her buddies are trying to figure out what to do with us. Until they make up their damn mind, there ain't nothing we can do." I leaned my head back against the wall as Jin said something in Korean. I looked to Sawyer, who was looking at his shoulder, where the bullet went through. It was obviously infected, and looked sickening. "Uh, yeah… why don't you pee on it?" He asked Jin. The door above me opened and I jumped to my feet. Sawyer grabbed my shoulder and pulled me over next to him. The tall Black man looked at us, and pointed to me.

"Grab the rope," He said to me. I stepped back slowly. "Please," He said. Sawyer's grip on my shoulder tightened. I stared up at the man. The woman who had come into the pit earlier appeared with Sawyer's gun and pointed it down into the pit.

"Climb the rope, or I shoot your friend," She said, pointing the gun at Sawyer. I looked to him, and as he slowly shook his head, I pulled out of his grip and reached for the rope. I held it tightly in my hands, and the Black man pulled me up slowly. I almost slipped, and would've fallen back down into the hole if the man didn't grab my arm. He pulled me up as I groaned, and I felt the hot sunlight hit me again. I watched as they continued to stare into the pit. "Asian guy next," She said. After a while, Jin came up. I grabbed his hand and helped him up. "Now you," She said. I heard Sawyer mumble something.

"She's bluffing!" He said. I heard the woman load her gun as Sawyer said something else, and she reached for a rock.

"Sawyer!" I yelled to warn him. She threw it.

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled.

"Grab the rope," She said again. I heard someone climbing out, and saw the top of Michael's head emerge. I helped him up. I listened and heard Sawyer mumble something. The Black man stood up and slammed down the door.

"Wait!" I yelled. She turned and looked to the Black man who was tying off the door. "Wait, what about Sawyer…"

"Shut up," The woman said. I quieted and looked to her.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Don't," I heard from behind me. I turned to see Michael.

"Don't?"

"Leave him," Michael said. She walked out into the jungle, and Jin and Michael followed. I looked to the pit where Sawyer sat.

"Are you alright?" The Black man asked. I looked to him. He looked genuinely concerned, but I was scared and mad and upset.

"Peachy keen," I said, and followed Michael.

* * *

"That's how we ended up here," Michael finished. The woman looked skeptical.

"How many?" She asked.

"Sorry?" Michael asked.

"How many of your people are there?" She asked.

"I don't know… forty? More or less?" Michael said.

"What did you do with the bodies?" She asked.

"We burned them…"

"Why?"

"Boar were attacking the camp…"

"Boar?"

"Yeah, boar…"

"How do you know?"

"This guy… Locke… he's a hunter..."

"How did you…"

"Look!" Michael yelled. "I've told you everything I know. So… do you believe us? Or not?" The woman stared at us for a few minutes, then nodded to the Black man. She walked past me, and without looking up at me said:

"Let's go get your friend from the hole."

* * *

"Do it now, or the rope comes up," The woman said. I heard Sawyer groaning as he came up, and the Black man pulled him out of the pit. I caught Sawyer as he fell backwards. He looked to me, then to Jin and Michael.

"Well howdy boys… thanks for the resuce…"

"Everything is cool. We had a talk and they believe we were on the plane, too," Michael said.

"Swell. Guess we can all sue Oceanic together," Sawyer said, holding his arm.

"What you got there?" The woman said, approaching Sawyer.

"Nothin…"

"Got a rock, lookin' for some revenge? You got three seconds to drop it," She said threateningly. I stepped back to Michael, who took hold of my shoulder.

"Ana," The Black man said.

"One… two…"

"Now hold on," Sawyer started. Ana smacked him across the face, knocking him to the ground. She stepped down on his shoulder.

"Stop!" I yelled, Michael holding me back.

"Shut up!" Ana yelled at him. "When I tell you to do something, you do it. I say move, you move. I say stop, you stop. I say jump, what do you say?"

"You first," Sawyer said, yelling in pain as she put more pressure on his shoulder.

"If you don't like the rules, I toss your ass back in the pit right now. You understand?" She finished.

"I understand!" Sawyer said as he pushed her foot off his shoulder. He sat up and I helped him stand.

"It's getting dark, we're moving out," She said.

"Moving out where?" Sawyer asked.

"What did I just tell you?" She asked.

"Sorry, I forgot. Just one thing though: you hit me again, I'll kill you," Sawyer said. She smiled at the threat.

"Let's go," She said, walking away. I looked to Sawyer who held his shoulder in pain.

"You okay?" I asked. He looked up.

"Fine," He said, walking forward. I looked to Michael, who tightened his lips nervously.

* * *

"Are you alright?" the Black man asked Sawyer.

"The hell you give a damn," He said.

"I said I'm sorry. It was a misunderstanding," He said.

"Misunderstanding's when you bring me lemonade instead of iced tea," Sawyer said.

"I said no talking," Ana said.

"He was talkin' to me!" Sawyer said.

"We're here," Ana said, looking up.

"What are you gonna do, beam us up?" Sawyer asked. Ana looked at him annoyed, and went through vines in a tree and knocked on a metal door twice. A lock was heard, and round, old White man answered the door. I had seen him before. We followed them through a tunnel.

"I was here," I said.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"Before I was in the pit… I was in here," I said. We walked into an open space to see one other person.

"I thought you said there were 23 of you?" Michael asked a blonde woman.

"There were," She said. I looked at the floor to see smears of red, and a fire blazing in the corner. I felt sick.

* * *

I sat in the corner and laid against Sawyer's shoulder. The White man came up to us, and I sat up.

"Excuse me… um, hi," He said. "Back where you guys, uh… where you came from? Is there a woman named Rose there?"

"Black chick in her fifties?" Sawyer asked. He nodded.

"Is she… is she okay?"

"Yeah, man. She's okay," Michael said. The man started to cry.

"Thank you…"

"Michael. My name's Michael."

"Michael… I'm, uh, I'm Bernard."

"She has faith in you," I said. He turned to me. "From the second after we crashed… she was convinced that you were still alive." He smiled.

"That sounds like Rose… thank you…" he said to me. I smiled, and leaned back against Sawyer's shoulder and closed my eyes.

**I feel such compassion for Bernard after I watch that scene! Anyways, I'll try to update regularly. Sorry again, and thanks for keeping interest!**


	28. And Found

**Okay, here's …And Found! By the way, I was talking to a friend, and they didn't understand the title of this episode. It means "Lost… and found" if you didn't know…**

I opened my eyes. The group of tallies were still talking in their little cluster. Did they sleep at all? I didn't really care. Michael shifted and sat in front of Jin.

"Hey, man, it's okay… Sun?" He said. Jin looked up. "You'll be with her again. Soon. 'Kay?" He asked. Jin nodded, and Michael turned to me and Sawyer, who was still asleep. "Hey," Michael said, waking him. "I think they're trying to figure out what to do with us," Michael said.

"I think they're gonna eat us?" Sawyer said, wanting for an answer at the end. I looked to him.

"Shut up," I said, wanting to avoid the answer.

"Alright, all of you, get up. We're moving out," Ana said. Michael stood. I followed, as did Jin, and Sawyer last.

"Movin' out where?" Michael asked.

"You're gonna help us get food and water," Ana said, almost annoyed.

"What, we work for you now?" Sawyer asked, holding his shoulder as he stood.

"You're gonna do it because we have a long walk ahead," She said.

"Long walk where?" I asked.

"Back to where you came from," She said. We stared at her for a second, and she turned around, talking to the tall Black man. The group started towards the entrance of the underground room.

"Do you think she doesn't believe us?" I asked. Michael looked to me, then up at Sawyer.

"Let's move," Ana said to us.

"I dunno…" Michael said.

"Why else would she want to go back to our camp?" I asked. Jin said something in Korean. Michael tightened his lips.

"She wanted to know how many of us there were… maybe she's just thinkin'… safety in numbers, you know?" He said, following behind the blonde woman. Sawyer, Jin, and I followed. We stopped abruptly on our way out. I looked around Jin to see Ana peering sneakily out of the door.

"All clear," She said back to us. We continued out. Sawyer ran up to Michael, and I followed.

"I think we outta stage a prison break," Sawyer suggested.

"Yeah?" Michael asked. "Well I wanna figure out what the hell is goin' on over here before I make any decisions about anything."

"Okay, people, listen up. We need to gather as much food and water as we can. We travel in pairs. You move as fast as you can, don't make any noise…" Ana said. Michael stepped forward, representing us. Sawyer seemed pissed.

"Maybe you wanna just take a minute to explain to us… what the hell is goin' on over here that's got you all so on edge?"

"Know what? That's a great idea. Maybe we can swap stories on the road," Ana said rhetorically. Sawyer looked to Michael, all of a sudden defensive. I guess he saw the lesser of two evils.

"I'm gonna go scout before we move," The tall Black man said.

"I wanna kill that bitch so bad," Sawyer said. I hit him on his shoulder- the one that wasn't shot.

"Wonder what's goin' on here that's got her so defensive…" Michael said.

"Maybe the stick up her ass…"

"His name is Michael," The blonde woman said. I turned to Ana.

"Yeah, right. Michael," She said, refusing to look at him.

"Wait," Sawyer attempted to stop Michael.

"I'll be okay, man, don't worry," Michael said, following the blonde woman.

"Bernard and I'll go gather the fish," She said, turning away. Jin stepped past me.

"Fish," Jin said, pointing to himself. Ana looked confused, then to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but Sawyer talked before me.

"The man knows how to fish. I'd take 'im with you if I were you," Sawyer said.

"Fine. She comes with us, too," She said, looking to me.

"I can't…"

"I can't understand the man. You'll translate," She said, turning to Bernard. Jin stepped past me.

"'Please come with me, Carmen. Thank you, Carmen.' Bitch," I said. I walked forward and followed Jin through the jungle.

* * *

It didn't take long for us to finish fishing after Jin pitched in. He caught eight of the ten fish we got. I sat down next to Sawyer, who looked sick and tired.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him. I picked up his head.

"How does it look?" He asked me. I looked over to his wound. It looked darker, and was scabbing over in weird places. I even saw some green. I knew that we were going back to see Jack though, so for now, all I could do would be optimistic.

"Same," I said.

"That bad?" He asked. I smiled a little and looked down to the ground.

"It's not really so bad… you'll be okay," I said, keeping Jack in mind. Hopefully Jack was still there… A knife slammed down by Sawyer's head on the log. I looked up to see the tall Black man.

"For your protection when we travel," He said. Sawyer pulled the knife from out of the log.

"You made this?" Sawyer asked. After hesitating, the man nodded. Sawyer stood up, and I followed suit. "So what's your name, anyway?" After another pause, the man responded, saying something that sounded foreign and strange to me. Sawyer clarified. "Mr. Eko?" He turned and smiled.

"Yes."

"Somewhat sounds like Mr. Ed," Sawyer said. The blonde woman ran to Ana and kneeled down, saying something about Michael. I stepped between Mr. Eko and Sawyer.

"Let's go, we're leaving now," Ana said, standing up.

"Wha'do you mean, we're leaving?" Sawyer asked.

"Your buddy just ran off into the jungle…"

"Michael, he just left!" The woman said. Jin started talking quickly in Korean, saying 'Michael' occasionally.

"Walt!" He said. I understood… "Walt!"

"Let's go, we're movin' out now. Cindy, water, Libby, can you carry the radio?" Ana said hurriedly. I was over stimulated and confused.

"Wait, you have a radio?" Sawyer asked. "Does it work? Can you use it?"

"Wow, what a great idea," Ana said sarcastically. "You gonna slow us down?" She asked Sawyer, looking at his condition.

"No!" Jin yelled. I looked to him. "Michael!"

"We're leaving before he can tell them where we are," Ana said, nervous. Jin stepped to Sawyer and I.

"Michael." Sawyer sighed.

"What're we supposed to do, wait for him? He ain't comin' back without his kid. Walt! He ain't comin' back without Walt! You really think he's gonna find him," Sawyer said. I looked to him, surprised at his pessimism. "In case you haven't noticed, it's every man for himself, Chewy. Mike's gotta worry about Mike, and I gotta worry 'bout me," Sawyer said, pointing to his wound. Jin looked angrily, then turned.

"Wait," Mr. Eko said. Jin tried to pass him. "Please…" Jin slammed his head against Eko's, and Eko returned the hit, knocking Jin to the ground. I ran up to Jin, trying to help him up. He stood suddenly and stared at Eko threateningly. Mr. Eko moved aside, and Jin stormed past him.

"You're going the wrong way," He said. Jin turned around. Mr. Eko pointed. "That's where he's going. Towards them." Jin turned and walked back, when Mr. Eko gave him a weapon.

"What are you doing?" Ana asked him.

"I'm going to help him find his friend," He said.

"We can't wait for you."

"I don't expect you to," He said. I followed him.

"Wait," Sawyer said to me. "Where are you going?" I kept following Mr. Eko.

"I'm going to get Walt back," I said.

* * *

We had been walking through the jungle for about an hour or so when Mr. Eko stopped abruptly. I heard rustling of leaves. Jin turned to run.

"No!" Eko said.

"Michael!" Jin replied.

"Wait, no!" Eko said. Jin ran off.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, nervous.

"It is an animal," Eko said. I ran towards Jin when I heard him yell.

"What's wrong?" I asked him nervously, running down the hillside to him. I looked to my side to see a stiff dead man with a stick driven into him. I gagged and put my hand over my mouth. "Oh my God," I said.

"His name was Goodwin," Eko said.

"Others?" Jin asked. Mr. Eko nodded. I leaned back against a tree.

"Oh my God…"

* * *

We sat down on a tree root for a break. Mr. Eko handed me his water jug as he talked to Jin about his wife. I took a large swig and gave it back. He then handed it to Jin. As they talked, I thought about Walt. About that last second I had with him before leaving him… abandoning him… for dead… for these people that were dangerous enough for our people to kill them.

"We should move," Mr. Eko said. I stood abruptly. "Are you alright?" I nodded, and we moved on.

* * *

Eko reached down to the ground and felt his hand along the dirt.

"Around here… this is fresh," He said, referring to the footprint. "His tracks."

"Michael?" Jin asked. He looked to him.

"Yes, Michael. They don't leave tracks." Eko left. I looked to Jin nervously. They didn't leave tracks? How is that possible? We continued down the hillside and Mr. Eko flung up his hand, urging us to stop. Jin said something in Korean, and again, moving towards him. Mr. Eko put his hand over Jin's mouth. He looked up to me, and motioned for me to come to him. He looked around, panicked, and went to a tree. He pushed aside some brush as quietly as he could to see a hole at the base, for rabbits or squirrels. He motioned for us to go into it as he looked around, scared. I hurried over to him as quietly as I could and crawled into the hole, followed by Jin, then Mr. Eko. We crouched uncomfortably in the hole and waited for who knew what… when someone passed. And someone else… a younger person came next, with short gray pants and dirty bare feet, then another young person with beige shorts that were brown from dirt and dirty legs. After him came someone who was Black, possibly older, with cleaner legs, but dirty feet. A person in long brown pants passed, that had dirt worn into his feet, and then someone that, if they were wearing shorts, were wearing short shorts. All I could see was dirty legs. Then came a small child with gray pants, holding a teddy bear with bandages on it. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. One last person crossed, waving a large leaf over the ground to hide any tracks. After several minutes, Eko crawled out slowly. Then Jin did, and I did. We looked across the jungle, trying to see any of them.

"Michael," Jin said, excitedly.

"No, they don't have him," Eko said quickly. We walked forward. "They came from that way. Your friend went that way. Crossed the head of them… very lucky," He said, wiping sweat from his brow.

"You, go back. I go," Jin said.

"No. We go together," Eko said. We continued forward through the brush.

"Are you alright?" I asked Mr. Eko quietly, as if to hide from the others.

"Those people… they hurt us," He said, hurt. "They give us reason to fear them." We continued forward as my goose-bumps rose off my arm.

* * *

I heard the running water grow closer. Mr. Eko gestured for us to go forward. Jin ran to it and drank from the stream. I knelt down beside him and got my hair, neck and forehead wet with the water, then drank.

"Wait here, we lost his trail. I'll go back and find it," Mr. Eko said. I drank more from the stream.

"What're you doing?" I heard. I looked up quickly, to see Michael, despairing our presence. "Go back."

"Michael…" Jin started.

"Go back, man!" Michael warned, then ran off. Jin followed. I turned around.

"Eko!" When he didn't come, I ran after Jin.

"Walt!" Michael screamed. Jin yelled after him in Korean.

"Michael!"

"Go away! I'm not going back without him!" Michael said. "Walt, I'm here! Where are you man!" We came to a waterfall. Jin tried to quiet him. "What, are you afraid they're going to hear me?"

"Michael, please…" I started.

"You can't talk! You can't talk! You let them take him! Let them take me! Come! Come take me!" He yelled. My insides collapsed in shame.

"Shouting is not a good idea," Eko said. "You need to come back with us now."

"I'm not leavin' him out here," He said. Eko approached him. "Stay away from me."

"I know they took your son, but you have no idea what these people are capable of. They will not be found if they don't want to be," Eko said.

"They took him… right outta my hands… right outta my hands… I'm not goin' back without him…" he said, distressed. Jin approached him.

"You'll find Walt, Michael," He said. Michael lowered his weapon and cried, walking past Eko. Jin followed. I felt tears welling in my eyes, feeling like a villain for being so selfish in the time to be giving. I followed Eko, not breathing until my tears fell back into my stomach.

* * *

"Hey, Carmen," Michael said as the sun set. I looked up.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry…" He said. We walked slowly, side by side. "I don't blame you for… I know it's not… I was just…" He stopped and looked up at me. I smiled and nodded. He walked ahead. A tear dripped down onto my cheek as I followed the group casually. I felt sick, and like I had when I lost Morgan… suicidal, yet somehow proactive. I was going to find Walt… I just didn't know how. Tears dripped down my cheeks as I pushed the vomit climbing my stomach back down. It was going to be a long night. I hoped Sawyer was okay.

**Yay! Okay, I'll update again next weekend. Enjoy!**


	29. Abandoned

**Alright, here's Abandoned!!**

"We're coming up on them, I think," Mr. Eko said. Michael walked faster to lead the group. I followed, and Jin walked up behind me. I could hear Sawyer shortly ahead of us.

"Mike only cares about himself and his kid… and neither's got squat to do with me."

"Glad you think so," Michael said, stopping next to him. Sawyer said something quietly. Michael moved aside and I kneeled next to Sawyer's arm.

"Are you okay…"

"Shut up," I said, somewhat mad at him, but also worried about his arm. Jin said something in Korean to Sawyer.

"Yeah, yeah, Chewy, I know. My arm's about to fall off," He said, commenting on me. I moved aside part of his shirt to see the wound, blackened with infection.

"What?" Ana asked loudly.

"How many were there?" Cindy asked.

"Did you see the kids?" Libby asked.

"Libby," Ana warned, as if she didn't want anyone to hear her.

"We need to go. Now," Mr. Eko said. Ana nodded nervously.

"Okay… we're moving out. Now," She told us. Jin reached down and helped Sawyer stand. I stood up and walked in front of Sawyer, trying to be wary of where he was behind me.

* * *

I walked beside Sawyer. He was starting to limp, which meant the infection was starting to get him. He suddenly tripped over a tree limb. I reached down to help him out, as did Libby.

"Damn it," He said. "I'm okay, okay, I'm fine," He said. I stood up.

"Do you wanna let me just take a look at your shoulder?" Libby asked.

"What, are you a doctor?" Sawyer asked in return.

"Clinical psychiatrist," She said.

"You're a shrink? Well, maybe you oughta talk to my shoulder," Sawyer suggested. I smacked the back of his head.

"How'd you get shot anyway?" She asked him.

"With a gun."

"He got shot when they took my kid," Michael said. I turned to him, and then looked down; not at Sawyer, more so at the ground at the thought of Walt.

"It's bad, right?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah, it's bad," Libby said, "but it's not real bad. Come on… you'll be okay. Let's go," She said. Michael helped Sawyer stand and I watched Libby stand. She looked worried.

"I'm fine," Sawyer said, pulling away from people trying to help him. I hung back a little, walking slightly in front of Libby.

"How long does he have?" I asked her quietly.

"Sorry?" She asked.

"Sawyer," I whispered, "how long does he have till her can't walk anymore?" I looked back at her. She looked unsure. "The infection's spreading, I know."

"I'm sorry, but… I don't know. We just need to watch him and get him back to his camp," She said. I nodded, and walked ahead towards Sawyer.

* * *

"We need a break," Mr. Eko said as we walked ahead of him.

"5 minutes!" Ana yelled.

"Here," Mr. Eko said, handing Sawyer his water. I sat next to him. Sawyer took a long swig, and handed me the water. I took a smaller sip.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Peachy keen, star shine," He said. I nudged him.

"I mean… are you dizzy? Nauseous?" I asked.

"A little nauseous, but probably because I haven't eaten in a while," He said. I nodded, nervous about him.

"We're cutting through the jungle," Mr . Eko said as he passed us.

"No talking!" Ana yelled, grabbing some things. We got up slowly and continued on.

* * *

Sawyer tripped over a small twig. Jin tripped to help him.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Sawyer said.

"Shhhhhhhut up," Ana said.

"What, we can't talk at all?" Michael asked.

"If he talks, he's gonna get us all killed."

"By what? Them? I thought they lived a day back that way," Michael said, pointing.

"How 'bout you shut your mouth, and get your buddy over here moving?" Ana said, looking at Sawyer. She started to walk away.

"What happened to you people?" Michael asked. Ana hesitated. Michael stepped forward. "You want us to take you back with us? Fine. But you want me to keep quiet? Then you need to tell me why I have to." Ana looked around her, distressed. I stepped out from behind Michael and watched her.

"They came the first night… that we got here. They took three of us. Nothing happened for two weeks, then they came back and took nine more. They're smart. And they're animals. And they could be anywhere at anytime," She said. I looked around me, thinking of Ethan. "Now we're moving through the jungle. Their jungle. Just so you can save your little hick friend over here. And if you think that one gun and one bullet is gonna stop them, think again. So shut your mouth, and keep moving."

"They took my son," Michael said.

"They took a lot of things," She said. Michael was silent, and Ana walked forward. I looked to Sawyer, who looked half asleep.

* * *

Jin had been helping Sawyer walk through the jungle now for at least two hours. I walked in front of them.

"Here, let me help you," Bernard said, walking to Jin. Jin shooed hi m away in Korean. Bernard threw his hands in the air and walked forward.

"I got it," Michael said, coming back. Jin shooed him away, but Michael was more persistant. "I said I got it, man, take a break." Jin shooed his away more.

"Be quiet," Sawyer said, exhausted. "You suddenly give a damn about me?" He took his arm away from Jin. "Leave me alone. Both of you. I got it," He said.

"Sawyer stop being proud," I said. He pushed past me.

"I got it…" He collapsed onto the ground.

"Sawyer!" I yelled, running to him. I lifted up his head and sat it in my lap.

"Hey, Sawyer? Hey, you okay?" Michael asked.

"I woulda left you behind," Sawyer said.

"Shut up man, don't try that," he said.

"I did leave you behind," Sawyer said quieter.

"Yeah, well… good thing I ain't you," He said. Sawyer closed his eyes, and blinked rapidly.

"Hey… Sawyer…"

"Sawyer?" I asked, no reply. Jin stood up.

"Water!"

"Here ya go!" Libby said, coming back to us.

"Sawyer!"

"Come on man," Michael said.

"Sawyer, please, come back," I said. Michael poured water into his mouth, but Sawyer wouldn't swallow.

"What's wrong with him?" Michael asked Libby.

"With a fever, he's got an infection, he's dehydrated…"

"We gotta keep movin'," Ana said.

"What?" Michael asked.

"We gotta keep going," She said, repeating herself. Jin yelled at her about Sawyer.

"You wanna stay, that's fine. But we're rolling out," She said.

"We can't just leave him, Ana," Bernard said.

"Maybe if we just rest a little while, he'll regain consciousness," Libby suggested.

"Rest? Here? Do you remember what happened to us? What they did to us? Do you remember Goodwin?" She said. I looked up to Jin, and he looked at me.

"Ana's right, maybe we should just push on," Cindy suggested.

"What?" I yelled.

"You know what, I don't remember Goodwin. And I'm really sorry about whatever happened to him, but I don't care," Michael said. I looked at Michael, knowing he had it wrong. "Mr. Eko? Will you help me make a stretcher?" I looked back at him. He stared at me a second, then nodded with his eyes. "And Bernard?"

"Yes?"

"I need four sticks. Sturdy ones, about five feet long," He said.

"You're gonna carry your friend!" Ana commanded.

"Yeah, we're gonna carry him," Michael said. I looked down at Sawyer, and held his face, a tear dripping down from my eye onto his.

* * *

"Where's Cindy?" Ana asked. I put my hands on my knees and sighed in exhaust. "Cindy! Cindy!"

"She was just there," I said.

"Did they take her?" Libby asked.

"I'm goin' after her," Ana said.

"No," Mr. Eko replied, grabbing her arm, "We stay together. We split up, we give them what they want."

"This is all your fault. We never shoulda gone throught he jungle. You risked our lives to save him, he's already dead! This one's on you," She said. I looked to Sawyer, and stopped breathing. Someone said my name, and then Michael's and Walt's. I looked around me. I heard whispers. Flashes of Ethan came before my eyes. I stood up.

"The hell is that?" Michael asked. The whispers surrounded us. I looked through the trees, expecting to see someone. Tears raced through my eyes. The whispers got louder.

"Oh God," Libby said.

"Run!" Ana yelled, holding her gun. Michael and Jin looked around, confused at everything.

"We can't leave Sawyer!" I yelled at Ana.

"Run! Now!" She yelled, grabbing my wrist. I pulled away from her. I grabbed the front of the stretcher and started pulling it. Someone grabbed the other end, and Jin grabbed mine.

"This way!" Mr. Eko yelled. Ana looked to Libby and Bernard and followed Mr. Eko. We went through the jungle. I looked back at Sawyer, when I heard a gunshot. I looked ahead of me to see Ana, pointing her gun. I heard someone running through the jungle. I knew that there was only one bullet in that gun, so whoever was coming was coming to get me. I looked ahead of me and saw something I knew I wouldn't forget. All I could do was put my hand to my mouth and let my tears blend in with the rain falling around me.

Sayid held Shannon and looked slowly up at Ana.

"No…" I cried.

**Bye Shannon… okay, review!!**


	30. Collision

**Alright, sorry it's taken me so long to update, but life gets hectic, you know? I'm no longer single! Okay, fun stuff… anyway, here's Collision!**

I stared at Sayid, holding Shannon's limp body in his arms. He set her down slowly on the ground, and stood up. He walked quickly towards Ana Lucia and pulled a gun out of the back of his cargo pants.

"Sayid, stop!" I yelled. He walked towards her, and before I could say anything else, Eko jumped on top of him. "Wait! Eko, stop, please!" I yelled, wanting understanding. The gun flew from Sayid's hands as Eko struggled to keep Sayid to the ground. Sayid smashed his elbow against Eko's face and escaped his grip, only to have Eko catch him by his pants. Sayid turned and kicked him. He looked down to the ground where his gun lay. He ran at it, but only had Eko on top of him again. They rolled around for a few seconds, both trying to keep their hands on the gun. Sayid landed on top of Eko, and pushed the gun to his neck. "Wait!" I yelled at Ana as I saw her run up to Sayid. She took the butt of the gun and hit him over the head with it, knocking him over Eko. Sayid was unconscious. "Sayid!" I yelled. Ana grabbed the gun as I approached Sayid and pointed it at me.

"Don't move! Nobody move!" Ana yelled, shifting her eyes from me to people behind me. "Nobody move… nobody!" She turned down to Eko. "Does he have anything else on 'im?" She asked him. I looked down at Sayid. "He just had a gun to your neck. Check to see if he has anything else on him." Michael walked towards her.

"Hey, put it down," Michael said, referring to the gun.

"Stop," Ana demanded, pointing the gun at him.

"Are you crazy, don't point that thing at me!" Michael yelled.

"I said stop!" She said.

"What is your problem?" Michael yelled. Ana turned a little and fired the gun. I ducked.

"Get back! Get back all of you!" She said, talking to Michael, Jin and I.

"Are you crazy?" Michael asked her.

"Ana?" Libby asked.

"Now!"

"Ana!" Libby said, astonished. Ana turned to Eko.

"We need to tie him up," She said.

"I'm not tying him up," He said to her.

"He tried to kill you," She reminded him. He looked over to me.

"No," He said. I wasn't sure what he meant: no, he wasn't going to tie him up? Or no, he wasn't trying to kill me?

"You," Ana said, pointing the gun to Libby. "You do it. Tie him. Use the vines from the stretcher."

"Hey, if we take that thing apart, we won't be able to…" Michael started.

"Shut up," Ana said slowly. I was speechless.

"Ana, Sawyer needs a doctor, or he'll die," Libby said.

"I know what I'm doing," Ana said. She stared a Libby for a moment. I was speechless. Shannon was dead, Sayid was unconscious, Sawyer was verging on death. I walked over to Sawyer's stretcher and tried to take him off of it. Eko came to my side and picked him up, putting him down a few feet away.

"Thanks," I said to him. He looked down at his feet and nodded respectfully.

* * *

I sat beside Sawyer for a few moments and watched Sayid, tied to the tree silently. I stood up and slowly walked towards him.

"Stop," I heard behind me. I turned around to see her aiming a gun at me. I walked towards her until my chest was against the gun.

"If you're gonna shoot me," I said, "Do it." I stared at her as she did nothing, then walked to Sayid. I picked up a jug of water and brought it over. I poured some water into my hand and rubbed it over Sayid's face. His hand flinched, and his eyes opened, looking up. "Sayid," I said. He looked at me, and I could see the tears brimming his eyes. He looked past me. I turned around to see Ana behind me.

"Untie me," Sayid demanded quietly.

"I'm not gonna…"

"Untie me!" Sayid yelled.

"Ana!" Libby called. I looked past Ana to see Eko, hoisting Sawyer onto his shoulders. I stood up and walked to him.

"What are you doing?" Ana asked.

"I'm taking him back to his camp," He said. I looked at Sawyer's dangling head.

"Don't leave. Please… if that were you, he'd let you die," She said.

"I'm not doing it for him," Eko said. "I'm doing it for me." He walked past me through the leaves. I looked to Michael.

"Michael, I'm…"

"Go," He said. I started to follow Eko.

"Did I say you could…" Ana started.

"Do you think I give a fuck what you say, Ana?" I asked her. She looked pissed off. I turned my back and ran towards Eko.

"Eko, wait!" I yelled. He continued on, and all I could see left of him was leaves shaking from his presence. I ran to catch up with him, but by the time I had finally reached him, he stopped. He said something quietly. "What?" I yelled ahead. I stepped beside him to see Jack, holding a golf club, backing up towards Kate. "Jack, help us!" I said. He stared at Sawyer. "Jack, we need to do something, or Sawyer's gonna die!" I yelled. Jack snapped out of his trance and dropped the club.

"Right, uh, this way," He said, running past Kate. Eko tromped through the small creek and followed. I ran ahead.

"Where are we gonna take him, Jack?" I asked.

"The hatch," He said.

"Hatch?" I asked. He looked at me, then back in front of him.

"Remember… Boone said something about a hatch… before he died. We found it. And we got into it," He said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a station… of sorts," He said.

"A station? I don't…"

"You'll see," He said. We hurried through the trees and walked to a tree. Kate walked ahead and opened a metal door, like the one on the other side of the island. Eko put Sawyer down, and Jack dragged him across the floor. I stepped through the door and through another to look down a hallway. Eko stood behind me. I walked forward, and saw through the first door a big room that looked dark and desolate, with old machinery in the back that looked like it fell out of a sixties science fiction film. In the center of the room was a computer with a desk. I walked over to it. All of a sudden, a beeping noise sounded from above me. I looked up and around. I looked down at the computer screen to see a flashing cursor. I heard footsteps and looked up to see John Locke. He walked towards me, pushing me aside a bit, and entered six numbers into the computer: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42, and then hit the execute button. He looked at me a moment, and then I walked away. Through the next doorway there was a bright yellow room, with a kitchen and exercise equipment. I saw a symbol on the wall like the one from the other underground station. I looked into the various rooms, to see one filled with guns, a pantry, a bathroom, and a bedroom, where Jack had moved Sawyer.

"Is he okay?" I asked Jack. He shook his head.

"I don't know yet," He said. I nodded.

"What happened? Where's Michael?" He asked. I shook my head.

"It's a long story…"

"I have time," He said. I walked over to a desk on the side of the room and sat on it.

"When we were on the raft… we saw something on Sayid's radar and we shot the flare… it was them, Jack," I said. He shook his head.

"Them?"

"They never came that night, did they?" I asked Jack. "That night we left. They didn't come because the people they wanted weren't there." Jack was confused.

"Who… Michael and Jin…"

"Sawyer tried to shoot them, but he got shot, and they tried to take me and Walt. I got away, but…" The guilt of losing Walt to whatever happened to him weighed down on my shoulders, and I slumped over. Jack nodded. "We found these other people… survivors from the tail section. They had a place kind of like this over there, except it was empty, and concrete walls and floors. And then we came here."

"So… Jin? Michael?"

"They're back at…" And then I remembered… Shannon was dead. Sayid was tied to a tree. "Jack… this woman… she thought the others were coming… but she accidentally shot someone else."

"Someone who?" He asked. Tears started to surround my eyes.

"Shannon's dead, Jack," I said. "Sayid's there… tied to a tree." He got up and walked into the kitchen to see Eko sitting down.

"Where are they?" He asked him. Eko said nothing. "I said where are they?"

"Jack, it's not his fault…" Locke started.

"Shannon's dead! I'm not… you're going to take me back out there. Right now," Jack said, looking down at Eko.

"This man isn't the problem. He brought Sawyer back…"

"Half dead with a bullet hole in his shoulder, John!" He yelled. "You gonna talk or are you just gonna sit there?"

"Anything I say will only make you angry," Eko said. "So yes, I will sit here."

"Jack!" I heard Sun yell. She ran down a hall, with Michael. She looked at me. I walked over to her and hugged her.

"Michael," He said, hugging him.

"We gotta problem man," Michael said, "This woman's out there and she expects us to hand over ammo, and guns…" I walked into the bedroom where Kate was sitting beside Sawyer.

"Michael's back," I told her. She got up and walked into the main room. I sat down where she was beside Sawyer. "Hey," I said after a while. "Can you hear me?" I asked. He shook a little. I put my hand over his. "Sawyer… that night… on the raft… you said… you wanted me to live with you? I never… I never got to thank you for that," I said. I could hear my voice quaking, and my tears falling from my chin onto my hand. "I'm sorry I… I never should have… let you go…" My voice had gone from quaking to sobbing. "Please, Sawyer, I need you back… I'm scared… I don't know why, but… I'm so afraid with you not here… I need you, Sawyer… don't leave me now," I said. I could feel someone enter the room. I turned to see Kate, standing in the doorway. She looked embarrassed to catch me. I stood and walked out of the room.

* * *

I walked out onto the warm beach sand that I could now call home. I looked to my left to see a mob of people crowded around.

"Hey!" I heard. Charlie ran to me, his guitar hanging over his shoulder. I ran to him, and as he hugged me, I spun around. He put me down, and I turned around to see Claire, holding her baby boy. I hugged her softly.

"Have you thought of a name?" I asked her. She smiled.

"Aaron," She said. I remembered: I told her that was boyfriend's name. I felt honored, and even though I felt guilty about lying, I'd always remember Claire's gift to me by that name. I smiled and a tear fell from my eye as I kissed Aaron on the head.

"Hello, Aaron," I smiled. Charlie put his arm around me as we walked back to camp.

**How sweet! Okay, I'll try to update again soon!**


	31. What Kate Did

**Okies dokie… you wanna know? Okay… Here's What Kate Did:**

I peered out at the ocean water from Sawyer's tent. I sat in the front of it, the tarp door falling around me. The only noise that could be heard was the crashing of the waves on the sand and Sayid shoveling sand. The sound of shoveling sand haunted me. I knew that with every shovel full, Sayid felt dead. With every shovel full, Shannon was. With every shovel full, Shannon got closer to leaving his life forever. With every shovel full, I felt sicker.

I walked under the branches of a tree dancing sadly in the wind and stood beside Charlie. I watched as Sayid walked slowly towards the hole that Jack and John had lowered Shannon into. He looked into the pit for a moment, regretting the farewell he had to give. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Shannon and I were strangers," He started. "We never would have met if… we wouldn't even have spoken if…" The lump came back up my throat. "But we did meet… and we did speak… at least… I loved her," He said, admitting it to himself just as much as he was to us. Tears streamed down my face as I watched Sayid shake his head at Jack and walk away. Jack stepped forward, and grabbed a hand full of sand.

"May she rest in peace," He said, as if it were ritual. He let go of the sand. People stepped forward to pay their respects. I stood for a while and stared at the pit, thinking of the pit Ana put us in, and about the raft, and about Boone. I was crying. I was silent, but on the inside, I was screaming. I was helpless, and alone. Charlie stood beside me.

"You okay?" He asked me. My lips quivered as I shook my head and looked to my feet, wanting to stay silent. He nodded and looked at the ground. I stepped forward for fear that he would try to comfort me and dropped some sand on the pile, and walked away. I walked down the beach to Sawyer's lonely tent and sat in front of it, watching the waves. I thought for a while, wiping my tears as they came out. I stood up, knowing I should do something in order to occupy my mind from dwelling on the past. I looked around to see Jack and John walking together. I ran over to them.

"Hey, are you going to the hatch?" I asked them, thinking I could see Sawyer. Jack nodded. "Mind if I join?" I asked. He nodded and we walked through the line of trees.

"So, Carmen," John said, "Are you signed up for a shift over here at the hatch?" Jack shook his head. I chuckled a little.

"Uh, no," I said.

"Well, I'll get your name on the list. Did I tell you the code?" He asked.

"Um, I think…"

"Well, it's 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42, and it's on a note right by the computer," He said. I nodded.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. We reached the door to the hatch.

"You hear something?" Jack said as he was opening the door. We walked in. A loud beeping noise sounded.

"It's the alarm!" John said, panicked. We looked at the number on the clock. Thirty seconds were left. John ran to the computer.

"Sawyer?" I asked Jack.

"Kate!" He said, running down the hall. I followed him. We got to the bedroom to see Sawyer lying bellow down on the floor with plates thrown about. "Sawyer," Jack said.

"Where the hell is Kate?" I asked, furious. Jack grabbed his abdomen and I grabbed his legs and we put him back up on the bed.

"What happened?" John asked running in.

"I don't know," Jack said.

"What'd he say…"

"I don't know, John," Jack said again. Jack checked his eyes.

"Well, where's Kate?" John asked. Jack shook his head.

"Is he okay?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah… I just… don't know why…"

"She'd leave?" I finished. Jack nodded. "Find her. I'll stay with Sawyer. She better have a damn good excuse," I said. He nodded and walked away. I looked down at Sawyer and smiled. It was good to see him.

* * *

I woke up to hear a beeping. I walked into a room with a computer and looked at the screen. There was a sticky note on the side with the six numbers Locke had told me earlier. I sat down and typed them in, and hit execute. The beeping stopped, and the numbers above my head flipped back to 108 minutes. I walked back into the bedroom and laid my head down next to Sawyer's hand.

* * *

"Movie?" Michael asked as I walked into the room.

"Yeah," John said. "Wanna see it?" Michael nodded.

"I would like to see the movie, too," Eko said. "If you don't mind."

"Why not? The more the merrier," He said. He looked to me, and I nodded. We walked into the main room and sat on a yellow couch. John set up a projector and turned off the lights.

"It's kind of interesting, really," John said. We watched it. There was an Asian man in a white coat who talked about the hatch. It was missing a small section, but nothing important. The movie ended.

"Alright… so… you been pushing that button every two hours since you got down here?" Michael asked.

"That's right," Jack said.

"How does that even work?" Michael asked.

"I set up two person shifts, six hours. Everyone's on the roster," John said.

"Don't they wanna know why?" Michael asked.

"I think the film's pretty self- explanatory," John said.

"Really? All I heard was something about electromagnets and an incident. What about all the missing pieces?" Michael asked.

"Oh, you mean the splices?"

"Yeah."

"Just a frame here and there, I think nothing important. What do you think?" He asked Eko. He turned to look at John. "About the film, what do you think?" John asked again. Eko stood up and walked off. Michael looked oddly at me. I stood and followed Eko.

"You okay?" I asked Eko.

"Yes," He said after a while. I shook my head.

"Okay… whatever," I said. I walked over to the bedroom and sat next to Sawyer and fell back asleep.

* * *

"You okay?" John asked. I sat up and brushed the strands of hair away from my face.

"Yeah, just… tired," I said. He sat next to me. "So… I still don't really know. What happened? How did you find this place, the video…"

"Oh," John said. "We went to this ship in the middle of the island…"

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"It's been there for hundreds of years, with dead slaves on it…"

"Ew, okay, continue," I laughed.

"Anyway, there was some dynamite on this ship, and we brought it back here and blew open this other door. We came down and there was a man named Desmond here, and he explained that if we didn't put the code in the computer, the world would basically end. He showed us the video and… left," He said.

"He just… left?" I asked.

"Yeah," John replied.

"Where'd he go?" I asked.

"I don't know," John smiled. I nodded. Sun walked through the door with Jack.

"Carmen, go get some air, you've been down here a while," He said. I smiled.

"I'm fine…"

"Carmen, really, go," He said. Sun smiled. I got up and walked out of the hatch. I didn't know why… but I still felt tired.


	32. The 23rd Psalm

**Sorry, I was going to post yesterday, but I had to go to a school wrestling match… fun stuff! Anyways, here's the 23rd Psalm.**

I sat on Claire's bed, a light wind brushing through my hair and the waves blessing my ears with their pleasant sound. Aaron's small cry interrupted the peace. Claire grunted and walked over to his crib, rocking it and trying to bring him back into slumber.

"You know, Claire, if you need a break, I can take Aaron…" I offered.

"No, no, it's okay. I think I'm going to walk him around a bit. You can stay, I'll be back soon," She said. I nodded as she picked up Aaron and walked out of the tent. I pulled my feet under me and I watched the waves gliding over the sand. My eyes wandered until I saw something I thought I might have never seen again. Kate helped Sawyer step off of the roots of trees from the jungle.

"Sawyer…" I whispered to myself as I got off the bed. I ran towards them. "Sawyer!" I yelled happily.

"Hey! I found Carmen Sandiego!" Sawyer said smiling at me. I ran with a huge grin to him and threw my arms around him. "Ah! Watch it, Electra, I'm healing from a gunshot!" He said. I didn't let go of him, I was too happy to. "Okay, pumpkin, get offa me." I let go for a second and looked at him. His blonde hair was sloppy and falling around his eyes, and his eyes were tired, but happy.

"I missed you," I said, smiling. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around me and held me. I cried a little, but it was a good cry. I couldn't remember being so happy.

* * *

I looked across the beach to see Claire talking with Eko at her tent. She looked worried, and him mad. I walked over to the two of them.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"It's just a statue!" Claire said.

"Just a statue?" Eko said, holding Charlie's statue of the Virgin Mary. He put it down on Claire's table and hit it hard with his stick. I jumped, and Claire screamed. He picked a small thing up off the table and showed it to Claire. It was a small bag of drugs: heroin. Claire looked angry. "Where is Charlie?" Eko asked. I looked up.

"I'll take him," I said to Claire. She grabbed the drugs from Eko's hand and put them on the table. I turned to Eko. "This way," I said. We walked down to the water's edge. Once Eko saw Charlie, his pace quickened. "Eko, wait," I said. "Where did you find this?" He said holding up the head of the statue.

"What happened?" Charlie asked, seeing the statue.

"Where did you find it?"

"The jungle, I found it in the jungle," Charlie said, confused.

"Take me there," He said. Jin said something in Korean. "This is not your business," He said to Jin.

"It's fine, Jin," I said to him.

"I want you to take me to where you found it," Eko said.

"Okay, fine. Yeah, we'll go for a stroll. There's nothing there. We'll go first thing in the morning, okay?" Charlie offered.

"We're going now," Eko demanded.

"Okay. Let me go tell Claire so she doesn't get the wrong idea. Wait here, I'll go…"

"Tell her on your way," Eko said. Charlie looked nervously at Eko, and handed his fishing pole over to Jin. They walked off to Claire's tent and I followed. They walked quickly and it took a moment for me to catch up. I saw Claire put the drugs in Charlie's hand, furious.

"I didn't know," Charlie said, almost defensively. "Look, they were sealed up inside of a statue, how would I know?" Claire rolled her eyes. "Claire! I'm not using. Look, believe me now?" He said, tearing up the drugs and throwing them to the ground. "I don't… care."

"Someone's waiting for you," Claire said, turning to Aaron's crib. Charlie picked up his water, and walked off with Eko, turning back every few seconds to see Claire until he disappeared. I sat on her bed.

"Do you think he's using?" I asked her. She looked at me briefly, then back at Aaron.

"Does it matter?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I guess not," I said. We sat in silence a while. I watched her caring for Aaron, and thought of Morgan. I thought of how she'd be older now and in love with her parents. I thought of how lucky Claire was to have been able to keep her child, even in the circumstances she is in. I sat on the bed, tired and now, sick. I felt like I was going to be sick. "I'm gonna go," I said quietly and slowly. Claire turned to me. "You okay?" She nodded. I got up and walked to my tent. I sat on the bed and thought.

* * *

I stood up. I had been sitting in the same spot on my bed, looking at the picture of Morgan for three hours now. I knew what I had to do… I just didn't really want to do it. Part of me didn't at least. I walked out of the tent, the picture and a pen in my hand. I walked down the beach, away from my friends until, no one could see me. I knelt in the sand, afraid of doing what I knew I had to. I turned the picture over and wrote on the back of it in pen: 'I love you Morgan. Nothing will ever change that, but for my own sake, I must try to move on. Maybe our paths will cross again. I can only hope so. Your loving mother, Carmen.'

I put the picture down and started to dig in the sand. I dug a few inches deep and picked up the picture. I held it in my hands, afraid to let go.

"I love you," I said, tears falling on her face. I brought my hands to the top of the photo, and ripped it down the middle. I dropped the halves in the sand, and pushed more sand on top of it. I looked for my pen, but couldn't find it, and guessed it had fallen in the hole with the picture. I stood up and wiped my eyes, then headed back to camp.

* * *

"Hey," Sawyer said. I walked to him.

"Hey," I replied.

"You okay?" I looked up, afraid I was giving signals to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "Just been thinking too much today." He nodded. I sat down next to him on the sand in front of his tent.

"So, I was thinking. Because you seemed so happy about seeing me, I had a stroke, and something made me wanna invite you to sleep in my tent tonight. Crazy, huh?" He asked. I laughed.

"Is that an invitation?" I asked. He smiled, but said nothing. I leaned on his good shoulder. "Yeah… I will."

* * *

I opened my eyes. It was still dark out, and the feeling of being in a tent other than my own was weird, but I was fine with it. I felt Sawyer's arm on my stomach, and rolled off my side to see him asleep, holding me close like someone might take me. I smiled, and faced him and closed my eyes. I felt his arm readjust to the shape of my back. I fell asleep, feeling safer than I had in a long time.

**Had to add that last part... too many people were asking me, "I wonder what it would be like to sleep with (not have sex with, but SLEEP) Sawyer... so I added that sturf. Anyways, hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!!**


	33. The Hunting Party

**Alright, this chapter's probably going to be short- I have exams this coming up week! Okay, here's The Hunting Party!**

I walked into the main room of the hatch. No one was sitting by the computer. I walked into the kitchen. "John?" I called. I heard someone's footsteps. I walked forward. Something hit me in the back of the head, and there was darkness.

* * *

I opened my eyes. A gray light surrounded me. I sat up to see John and Jack sitting beside me. "What happened?" I asked.

"Michael went after Walt," Jack said. I panicked a little.

"How long ago?" I asked.

"Maybe twenty five minutes ago," Jack said. I wiped my forehead. "You feel nauseous or dizzy or…"

"No, I'm fine," I told him, sitting on the ledge on the wall.

"Jack! John!" I heard Kate yell.

"In here!" John yelled. "In the armory!"

"Michael put us in here!" Jack yelled.

"Hope you got the combo, doc," I heard Sawyer say through the door. John started reciting the combo as Jack picked up a gun.

"What are you doing?" I asked him quietly. He shook his head as he loaded the gun. The door opened to show Sawyer.

"Howdy, boys. May I ask why you were locked up with my girl in the armory?" He asked.

"Your girl?" I replied.

"What are you doin', Jack?" John asked as Jack handed him a gun.

"We're goin' after him," Jack said, walking out of the armory.

"Hey, what… what happened?" Sawyer asked as Jack walked past him.

"Michael went after Walt," John said.

"After Walt?" Sawyer said, almost annoyed.

"Held a gun on me, put us both in there, went after Walt," Jack said. I walked out of the armory, but Sawyer pushed past me.

"Hey! What are you doin'?" Jack asked.

"What does it look like? I'm comin' with ya," He said.

"You're still on antibiotics," Jack reminded him.

"It's a good thing I'm travelin' with my doctor then," Sawyer said, loading a gun.

"Sawyer, no," I said. He walked past me. "Sawyer, you're not going."

"Relax, San Diego, I'll be fine," He said.

"No, Sawyer. You're not going," I said. He walked into the long hallway.

"Carmen, I told you not to go when you went with Chewy and Shaq. And now, I'm goin'," He said.

"Sawyer, no," I said, grabbing his wrist. He looked at me, a little angry.

"I almost lost you once, Sawyer, and you're going to do this to me?" I asked him. John and Jack walked into the hallway.

"Sorry," Sawyer said, a little empathetically. He walked out of the hatch, leaving me with tears in my eyes. After a few minutes, I walked out of the hatch and headed towards the creek that used to run by the caves. When I got there, I sat for a while and thought to myself.

* * *

I sat quietly to myself, a few tears running off of my cheek. I wiped them off of my face and stood, thinking I should go back to the hatch. A wind whistled through the trees. Then I realized… there was no wind. Whispers surrounded me. My eyes widened. I turned around, trying to find the person. I was alone… the others were here. Another tear rolled out of my eye, this time from fear instead of sadness. I turned around to see a man with black hair in dirty clothes. I stood still, petrified.

"Hello, Carmen," He said. I lifted my head, more tears streaming out of my eyes. "Don't be afraid," he said, taking a step toward me. "I'm not going to hurt you." I turned and starting running away into the trees, hearing his heavy footfalls behind me.

"Help!" I screamed. His arms locked around me, and wrestled me to the ground. "Get off! Help!" I screamed, until a hand covered my mouth. He put a bag over my head, and tied something around my wrists. He stood me up and pushed me against a tree, and then put a cloth in my mouth, tying it around my head. I was dragged off, with muffled screams in my throat and tear falling down my cheek.

* * *

"Hey!" I heard a man yell. I looked up. "Who's that?"

"It's Carmen," The man pulling me said. I tried to break free of his grip on me, but I couldn't. I heard someone try to say something, but they stopped. I could see through the fibers of the bag over my head that it was darker now.

"Give 'er to me," He said. I recognized the voice. It was the man from the raft. I struggled and fought against the man holding me.

"Why?"

"Shepherd, Ford, and Locke are close… I'm gonna talk to 'em," He said. People were silent for a moment, and then the man holding me touched my arm.

"I'm sorry," He said, "But don't worry. You'll be fine, and we'll find you again someday." I cried and moaned a little, scared of what might happen.

"Thanks," The man with the beard said. I screamed a little, until I was forced to the ground.

"Hey, look what we found," A man said. I heard a woman struggling. "Found her following Shepherd." I looked up.

"Kate!" I yelled, muffled. Someone grabbed my shoulder tightly.

"Tom," Someone said. Someone grabbed my shoulder tightly as I heard someone walk away.

"That's exactly right, Jack," I heard him say. I heard a gunshot after a moment, and Sawyer yell a little. I tried to stand, but the person holding my shoulder kept me down. After a while, I heard him shout again. "Light 'em up!" I waited a while, and then heard him yell again. "Bring her out Alex!" I heard the woman struggle, being taken away. "Okay, bring the other!" He yelled. The man holding my shoulder grabbed under my arm and pulled me up. He dragged me somewhere and threw me to the ground. I couldn't stand. "We just found her. Didn't really want to use her as a bargaining chip," He said, someone grabbing me and sitting me up. "But that's what happens." The bag was taken off my head to see Sawyer, Jack and John standing in a line holding their guns. I turned to see the man take out a gun. "Jack, the decision you gotta make right now is this: can you live with the fact that I shot this woman right in front of you… in front of this young lady… when you coulda saved her life by giving up and going home? Now you're gonna gimme your guns, turn around and walk away. It's your call Jack."

"If you touched a hair on her head…" Sawyer started.

"Shut up!" The man threatened. "I'm 'ona count to three. One," He said. Kate cried a little. "Two," He said. Kate criede harder.

"Stop," Jack said. He threw down his gun. I relaxed a little.

"Now them," He said, referring to John and Sawyer. John threw down a gun. "Gimme the other one, too." John pulled another out of his pocket and threw it down. Sawyer stepped forward.

"You and me ain't done, Zeke," He said, dropping his gun. He picked up the guns and threw Kate at them. The man holding me walked away as the bearded man lifted me to my feet.

"Now about her," He said, pointing the gun at my throat. "What are we gonn' do about you?" He asked me, whispering in my ear. I was crying a little, but I swallowed my tears and slammed my head back against his. He stumbled backwards, holding me. "You got some fight in ya," He said, holding me closer to him. They had untied Kate now and she stood by Jack. "Take her," The man said, throwing me at Sawyer. "See you later, Carmen," I heard him say behind me. I pressed myself close to Sawyer, and he held me for a second.

"Jack, I…" I heard Kate say as Sawyer untied my arms.

"You alright?" Jack asked her. She grunted a little and nodded. My hands were free and I took the cloth off from around my mouth. I breathed heavily as I hugged Sawyer.

* * *

We walked down the hill as the sun rose behind us. Sawyer chuckled a little.

"What?" I asked.

"Me… untying you… so on…" Sawyer said, smiling. I smiled back.

"I like how we think of it as a good memory," I laughed. He chuckled.

"It kind of was," He said. "If it hadn't happened… we wouldn't know each other," He smiled. I smiled back.

"I guess that's a bit of a plus…" I laughed.

* * *

I walk down the beach. Jin ran over to me and smiled.

"Michael?" I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Jin," I said. I walked to my tent and lay down on my bed, but I didn't feel safe enough to sleep. I walked over to Sawyer's tent. He wasn't there, but I didn't care. I walked in and lay down on his bed, closing my eyes. I was asleep before I knew it.


	34. Fire & Water

**Thanks, ****Soldier of Passion! You review really encouraged me to get back to writing! This is a really good episode, Losties, if you remember… it was a long time ago! Here's Fire & Water!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any of the characters… but Carmen. She's mine, and you can't have her.**

I was sitting in Sawyer's chair that sat just outside of his tent. I was watching Kate help Sawyer with his exercises to help his arm. Kate and I… we were really just making fun of him in our own silent way. Hurley was sitting close by, too. He looked deep in thought, though… not the usual Hurley look. He looked like he was going to try to say something a few times, but stopped himself. He looked like he was going to throw up. All of a sudden, he just blurted it out.

"Uh, Sawyer? When you were over there across the island… how well did you get to know those Tallies?" Sawyer looked confused… either confused or in pain.

"Well enough, why?" Hurley shrugged.

"That Libby chick seems pretty cool," He said. I looked up to see Sawyer and Kate smirking a little. I smiled, too. "I mean… is she?" He asked.

"Wow! You got a little love connection brewin' over there, Jabba?" Sawyer asked, smiling with Kate.

"No, I just… askin'," Hurley said.

"Yeah, I hear you asking," Sawyer laughed. Hurley looked nervous that Sawyer might be on to his secret.

"Forget it," He said, getting up and walking off quickly. I smiled a little. Kate chuckled a little with Sawyer.

"What's with you? You're acting like you're in junior high," She said. She looked over to the jungle line off to her right and stared. Sawyer and I looked over to see Jack walking with Ana Lucia.

"Well, what do we have here?" Sawyer teased. "Looks like Ana Lucia is getting the $20 tour. That's the third time I've seen 'em walking out of the jungle. What do you suppose they're doing out there?" Sawyer asked Kate, a suggestive smirk on his face. Kate faked a laugh.

"Why don't you just do your exercises, Sawyer," She said, teasing him. I chuckled a little, and laid back in the chair.

* * *

I walked with Claire down to the water, carrying two bottles of my own. Claire was carrying four bottles with her.

"So… how's life at Claire's house?" I asked her. She laughed.

"Um, fine. Me and Charlie are in a bit of a… tiff," She said. I nodded.

"A tiff?" I asked her. She shrugged.

"Yeah, a… a tiff…" She said.

"Are you… are you okay with that?" I asked her. She reached a bottle into the water.

"Um… I mean, I guess. I mean… I'm the one who kicked him out and all…"

"Kicked him out?" I asked, laughing.

"No! I mean…"

"I know what you mean, Claire," I laughed. She smiled. She shrugged, putting the cap on her third bottle.

"It's just… it's so hard to be with him sometimes, you know? I mean… have you ever been in a really serious type relationship?" She asked me, reaching her fourth bottle into the water. I picked up my second bottle and reached it in next to hers.

"Yeah," I said. She looked up at me.

"Oh… with Aaron, right?" She asked me. I was going to ask her what she was talking about, but then I remembered: I told her before I left on the raft that Josh's name was Aaron. I stood up.

"Yeah, but… Claire," I started. She looked up at me. "His name's not Aaron." She stood up.

"What do you mean?"

"When I told you that… I don't know why, but I lied. I was afraid… because of… I don't really know how to finish this sentence…" She laughed a little. Not the reaction I expected, but okay nonetheless.

"It's okay. I don't necessarily understand why you lied, but it gave great inspiration is to Aaron's name," She laughed. I smiled.

"I'm glad you're not upset," I said. She smiled and nodded at me.

"Of course." We smiled at each other for a minute. "I need to get back to my tent… Aaron's asleep." I nodded, and we walked back towards her tent.

"What were you going to say about Charlie?" I asked.

"Oh, right. Well, it's just… with Charlie… it's so hard to tell where he's coming from sometimes." We arrived at her tent… Claire continued to talk, but I wasn't listening. Aaron wasn't in his crib.

"Didn't you say Aaron was in his crib?" I asked her. She nodded. I looked over at the crib. "Claire, he's gone," I said. Claire frowned.

"What?"

"Aaron! Claire, Aaron's not here," I said, walking into the tent. She hurried past me, dropping her water bottles and scurrying around her tent. She screamed. "Claire!" I said, trying to calm her.

"Help! Somebody took my baby!" Claire yelled.

"What happened?" Kate asked, coming around the tent.

"I don't know Aaron's gone!"

"It's okay! We're over here!" I heard Hurley yell. Claire bolted from the tent, me and Kate, and the rest of the camp, close on her heels.

"Is he alright? Is he okay?" Claire cried. I saw down the beach, where Hurley was standing next to Charlie, who was holding Aaron. Claire stopped in front of Charlie, and took Aaron away from him, looking disgusted.

"I don't know what happened. I'm sorry… He's okay, though. I, I had this dream…" He was saying, but Claire slapped him, stopping him in his sentence. She walked away, and I followed, glancing back occasionally in shock.

"Can you stay in my tent tonight?" Claire asked, not glancing over at me.

"Wha… what do you think I could do?" I asked, knowing she wanted me for protection from Charlie. She turned to me, still angry from what Charlie did. We were separate from the rest of the camp now, so it was just the two of us.

"Look, I know there was some other reason for you to lie to me, just…" She stopped, realizing what she was saying. "Please." I hesitated for a minute, but then gave in.

"Of course, Claire," I said. She nodded, then hurried off to her tent, me following shortly behind her.

* * *

I sat next to Claire, smiling. Kate stood in the opening to her tent.

"He's just… so hard to read. One minute he's fine, the next… he's on heroin." I looked up. Charlie was walking towards us quickly. Kate bolted over to him.

"I have to talk to her," Charlie said, pointing to Claire.

"Hey, you know what, now's not a good time, okay?" Kate said, trying to hold him back.

"No, she, no I have to talk to her, she'll want to hear this," Charlie said, trying to push past Kate.

"Okay, know what, tell me and I will tell her," Kate said, forcing him back.

"Kate, no, no! Claire!" Charlie yelled. I stood up in front of Claire.

"I said not now!" Kate said, trying to push him back.

"Claire!" Charlie pushed Kate aside and came at us. "Wait! Wait, please Claire! Aaron's in danger."

"What are you talking about?" Claire asked, leaning over Aaron as he started to cry.

"The baby's in danger! Look, I've been having these dreams, I know what they mean now!" Charlie said.

"Charlie," Kate said as she tried to make him leave.

"Kate!" Charlie yelled as he talked to Claire. "Claire, listen, we have to baptize Aaron.

"What?" Claire asked.

"We can do this! Eko's a priest! We can do this!" Charlie said as Kate got a hold on him.

"It's time to go," She said.

"No, wait, I'm not finished! Claire, look, we have to baptize Aaron!"

"I said it's time to go, now!" I stepped forward and helped Kate. As we pushed Charlie away, he screamed back at Claire. He put up a tough fight, too. I walked back to Claire. After a minute or so of Kate arguing with Charlie, he left. Kate came back.

"Maybe you should get some man power, Claire," I said.

"What?" She asked, fixing Aaron's blankets.

"You know… get one of the guys to take care of you. Charlie might come back and put up a bigger fight, or try to do something drastic. If he does, me and Kate might not be enough," I said. Claire slowly nodded. "Should I get Sawyer?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No, you don't need to," She said, picking Aaron up. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk." Kate volunteered to join her, so I decided I'd go and relax. I didn't sleep last night, as it's kind of hard to sleep in someone else's bed…

* * *

"Hey, San Diego," Sawyer said, walking into my tent. I smiled. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just… tired, I guess."

"Some people sleep when they're tired," He said. I laughed. It was dark out, but I had a lot on my mind, and didn't think I could sleep.

"You wanna stay in my tent tonight?" He asked. I smiled.

"Thanks, but, uh, no thanks," I said.

"Suit yourself. Hey, wanna get some water with me?" He asked. I stood up.

"Gee, could I? Sounds like a real swell time," I said sarcastically.

"Neat," Sawyer said. We walked out of the tent. "You're not tellin' me something," He said. I looked up at him.

"What?"

"You're just… different. Why?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said. He stopped.

"Come on, Carmen. Tell me." I turned around.

"Fire!" Sayid yelled. I turned to see tress blazing behind me. I ran over.

"Stay," Sawyer said, holding me back as he ran forward. Someone threw me a bucket and I ran to the water and filled it. I ran back up to the trees and handed it off to someone. Then I heard Claire scream. I turned to see Charlie, running off with Aaron, Claire following. I ran down to the beach.

"Charlie! What are you doing?" I yelled, stopping in front of him.

"I just wanted to save him!" Charlie cried.

"Charlie!" John yelled, stopping to his other side. The three of us had cornered him. I could hear the rest of camp coming down towards us. "Give me the baby."

"Eko, tell them! Tell them, Eko, tell them what you told me! That the baby has to be baptized!" Charlie said, desperate for someone to understand him.

"This is not the way," Eko said, ashamed of himself and of Charlie.

"Charlie, give Aaron to me," I said. He shook his head in denial of what was happening.

"Charlie, come on, give him to me," John said. Charlie looked over at him, angry.

"Who the hell are you, John? And Carmen, you can't talk! I found your picture, you know, of Morgan! Of your child! You just abandoned her! You have no right to even look at Aaron!" He yelled. My eyes were big and filling with tears. I could feel the people around me staring at me. They all knew. A few tears drifted down my cheeks. "Aaron's not your responsibility, either of you! Where were you when he was born, Locke? Where were both of you when he was taken? You're not his father! You're not his family!" He yelled, turning back and forth between me and John.

"Neither are you, Charlie," John said plainly. Charlie turned to Claire.

"I have to do this! I need to! Claire… I'm not gonna hurt him!" He cried.

"You're hurting me, Charlie," Claire cried. Charlie looked panicked. I walked forward slowly, reaching my arms out for Aaron. I took him slowly, Charlie giving him up like it was his life. I walked to Claire quickly and gave her Aaron.

"Claire… I'm sorry, Cla…" Charlie started. John punched him once across the face, then again, and one more time, forcing him into the water.

"John!" I yelled. He stopped, and everyone just stopped and stared for a moment. I pushed through everyone and hurried past my tent and into the jungle. I sat there a while, knowing Sawyer would want to talk to me. I walked out about an hour later and looked across the beach to see Charlie sitting in the sand, watching the waves. I walked over to him and stood silently until he looked up at me. "Do you still have it?" I asked.

"What?" He asked.

"The picture. Do you have it?" I asked. He sat up and pulled the two small pieces of paper out of his back pocket and handed them to me. I put them together and looked at her face. It brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm sorry," He said. I looked up and shook my head, trying to swallow my tears. I looked back down at the picture and walked slowly to the water. I knelt down so that the tide soaked my legs. I held the picture close to the water and sat as a tear fell onto it, and let the tide wash it away. I got up and turned, walking to my tent. I sat on my bed all night. I didn't sleep, I didn't drink water… I just… sat.

* * *

Sawyer pushed open the blanket door and came in. He was quiet a minute, then came in.

"Hey," He said. I nodded. "Wanna talk?" I shook my head. He wrapped his arm around me slowly.

"They hate me, don't they?" I asked, leaning on Sawyer's chest. He pulled me away.

"Wha… who?" He asked me.

"Everyone," I said.

"Why would they hate you?"

"For… Morgan," I said. He shook his head. "They all probably hate me, and don't trust me, and think I'm some slut…"

"Stop," Sawyer whispered, pulling me into him. I cried into him.

"I didn't want them to know… I didn't want them to know I… that I lost her," I cried. Sawyer rubbed my back and kissed me on the top of the head.

"No one thinks that. No one could ever think that about you," Sawyer said, leaning his chin on my head. I cried into his shirt a little while.

We walked out of my tent. Sawyer held me around me shoulders to be close to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Carmen," Hurley said from my side. I turned. He was smiling at me and handed me an Apollo bar. I looked up at him. He smiled. "Chocolate makes everyone feel better." I smiled a little.

"Thanks, Bar Bar," Sawyer said. Hurley turned to walk away.

"Hurley," I said. He looked back. I felt relieved, and I cried a little because of it. "Thanks." He smiled back at me and walked off. Sawyer held me tight, and I felt loved again.

**Aw, is so cute! Okay next episode is really important! For those that have wanted to know, it's time… How does Sawyer know Carmen? CLIFFHANGER!! Read the next chapter when I send it out!! Mucho Love!**


	35. The Long Con

**Okay, the chapter you've all been waiting for… The Long Con! You've wanted to know how Carmen and Sawyer know each other, so… here you go!**

_I walked out the theater through the double doors, putting on my jacket as I went. Another job, gone. I couldn't seem to hold down work… Josh will be so pissed at me. I walked forward. It was around midnight now, and no one was in the streets, and I was walking through a bad part of town. I walked forward quickly until I heard a click down an alleyway. I turned to see a man with blonde hair, kneeling on the ground, a gun to his head. Men in dark jackets surrounded him, and a black Lexus sat nearby. They were about to kill that man._

"_Hey!" I yelled at them. They all looked at me. They looked back to one of the men, who nodded, and then ran towards me. "Help!" I screamed. I turned and started running down the sidewalk towards the theater, screaming for help the whole way. One of them grabbed me and put his hand over my mouth. I kept screaming, and kicking and fighting, but he was too strong. I started to cry. They brought me into the alley, and one man tied my hands while another put a cloth in my mouth and tied it behind my head. I saw them knock out the blonde man, and they dragged him into the trunk of the car. They threw me in the trunk next to him. I squirmed, but couldn't move. I heard the men get in the car, and the car start, and drive off. We drove for probably about an hour, and then the car stopped. The blonde man was still unconscious when they opened the trunk and took us out. We were at a warehouse of sorts. They threw him in a room, and me beside him. They took the ties off my hands and removed the cloth in my mouth. They laughed a little as they shut the door on us. I looked over at the blonde man, who was still unconscious. I leaned over him. "Hello?" I asked, trying to wake him up. I put my fingers on his wrist to check his pulse, but I was too nervous, I couldn't feel his pulse over mine. I leaned down to his chest, but couldn't hear a pulse. I looked up slowly, and he sprung on top of me. He sat over me, and grasped around my neck, strangling me._

"_Who are you?!" He asked._

"_I'm… Carmen! Carmen!" I screamed, desperate for air._

"_Why are you here?!" I scratched at his fingers, trying to get them off of me. He was going to kill me._

"_Please…" Was all I could get out. He let go of me, looking at his hands like they weren't a part of him. I rolled over and coughed, trying to get air. He got up off of me while I coughed. I sat up, still gasping for air. "Who are you?" I asked when I caught my breath._

"_Who are you?" He asked._

"…_Sophie," I said._

"_What's your real name?" He asked. I looked over at him. "Next time someone asks you, don't think about it."_

"_Carmen." He nodded._

"_Sawyer," He replied._

_

* * *

_I walked down the beach, holding my water bottle for a refill. I saw Sawyer storming across the beach, angry about something. I ran over to him. "Sawyer, you okay?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Sawyer, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothin'," He said.

"Sawyer, will you just talk to me?!" I yelled at him, stepping in front of him.

"Not now," He said, pushing me aside. He pushed me hard. He stormed off. I was confused. I turned around and walked towards the water.

* * *

"_So, Sawyer, why were these men going to kill you?" I asked him._

"_I, uh… owed them money," He said._

"_How much money?" I asked._

"_140,000," He said. I sat back._

"_$140,000?" I asked._

"_Why haven't these guys killed you?" He asked me._

"_Hey, I don't know these people. You do. You tell me," I said. He shook his head._

"_Why'd you wanna help me?" He asked._

"_Some people are good, Sawyer. Not all people are like you, taking money and not paying it back…"_

"_What? So you've never done anything shitty before?" Sawyer asked me._

"_Well, yeah, but not that shitty! And not with such shitty people!" I yelled. I sat back against the wall._

"_Well, your parent's 'll call the cops soon, so we shouldn't be here too long," He said. I shook my head._

"_The police aren't gonna find us here," I said._

"_Oh, really? And why the Hell not?" He asked._

"_They haven't found me yet. Why would they find me now?" I asked, tucking my legs against my chest._

"_So you're on the run," He said._

"_Kind of."_

"_Guess you are shitty," He said._

"_It's complicated," I said._

"_Isn't everything?" He replied. I nodded._

"_So what are they going to do with you?" I asked._

"_How the hell do I know?" He said. "Shouldn't you be more worried about what they're gonna do with you?" The door opened. I looked to Sawyer and stood up. Three men came in, followed by a man in a nice suit._

"_Makin' friends, Sawyer?" He asked Sawyer. Sawyer looked angry. Two of the men walked over to me and grabbed my arms._

"_Hey!" I said, trying to get away from them._

"_What are you doin'?" Sawyer asked them._

"_Sawyer… we're gonna get our money. So how long do you want it to take?" The man in the suit said. Sawyer said nothing; just stared at him. "Alright, then." I felt something hard hit the back of my head, and then… darkness._

_

* * *

_The rain was really coming down. I was running to my tent, and then turned to see Sawyer… carrying Sun. She was bleeding from her forehead.

"Is she okay?!" I screamed.

"I don't know," Sawyer said, running her to her tent.

"I'll get Jin!" I said. I ran down the beach to the place where Jin would fish. He was collecting his nets. "Jin! Sun's hurt!" I yelled. I don't think he understood me, but he came running. I ran him over to the tent, where everyone was gathered around. He pushed past Kate.

"She's okay, she's okay, she's gonna be alright! You need to let me take care of her, alright? Please…" Jack said. "Where'd you find her?"

"I heard her scream, found her out in the jungle about…" Sawyer was saying.

"She was out cold and her hands were tied," Kate said.

"What do you mean her hands were tied?" He asked.

"They're back," Ana Lucia said from behind me. The rain stopped soon. People walked away, until it was just me and Jin. I patted him on the back.

"She'll be okay," I told him. He hesitated, then nodded.

* * *

_I looked up to see Sawyer sitting over me._

"_Hey, you 'kay, San Diego?" He aked. I sat up._

"_San Diego?" I asked._

"_Yeah, like Carmen San Diego?" He said. I laughed a bit._

"_No one's called me that since the third grade," I said._

"_Yeah, well… your welcome," He said. "So, you okay?" I nodded._

"_Just a head ache," I said. He stood up._

"_Good. We're gonna get outta here," He said._

"_What do you mean?" I asked._

"_I mean we're gonna take a few guns and get the hell outta here."_

"_Well, you're confident," I said. He laughed._

"_Nah, just optimistic, sweetie," He said._

"_Where are you from?" I asked him._

"_What?"_

"_You have a Southern accent… you're not from Australia. Where are you from?" I asked._

"_Tennesee," He said. "What about you? You're not from Sydney, either."_

"_D.C.," I said._

"_How'd you end up here?"_

"_I ran away," I said. He was quiet a moment._

"_Why?"_

"_Like I said earlier… it's complicated."_

"_Oh… so that's why the cops are after ya? You ran away. What, did you kill you papa?" He asked. I shook my head._

"_No, I… it's… complicated," I said._

"_Yeah, I think you said that already."_

"_Why are you in Sydney?" I asked._

"_I was looking for someone."_

"_Did you find them?"_

"_No. Not yet," He said. I nodded._

"_Who is it?"_

"_The man who killed my parents," He said. I nodded._

"_Oh."_

_

* * *

_"What's up?" I asked Sawyer.

"We found this, out where Sun was," He said, handing me a bag. It looked kind of like the one that was put over my head when the Others took me, but it was black and looked different. "You see it too, huh? It's different, right?" He asked. I nodded. "Yeah…" I shook my head.

"Who would do this? And to Sun? She's never done anything to anyone…" I said.

"Yeah, well, someone disagrees with you," He said.

"Why would someone…" I wondered.

"Think about it, Electra. Poor little Sun is nearly kidnapped by the others, and all of a sudden, war's lookin' like a good idea," He said. I turned to him.

"You think Jack and Ana Lucia have something to do with this?" I asked.

"Not Jack… I don't think Jack's got it in him. Ana Lucia, though… she's got enough kahones for the both of 'um," He said. I shook my head.

"You really think she'd do that?" I asked.

"Honey, if it meant gettin' her way, I bet chicka would do just about anything," He said. I looked down at the mask and handed it back to him.

"Maybe you should tell John," I said.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because he'd… he'd go against Jack and confront him in a responsible way," I said. He shook his head.

"Thanks, but uh, no thanks there pumpkin." I rolled my eyes and walked off.

* * *

_The door opened, and we stood up. Two men came in with ropes they turned us both around and started tying my hands. Suddenly, Sawyer punched the one man down and took his gun._

"_Hey!" The man behind me yelled, pulling me into him. I watched Sawyer grab the one man's gun and point it at the man holding me, but I felt the cold metal of a gun go against my neck. "Drop it now, or I kill her," He said. I tried to control my breathing._

"_Carmen?" Sawyer said._

"_Yeah?" I asked._

"_Don't move," He said slowly._

"_I mean it!" The man behind me yelled. Sawyer's gun went off, and the man behind me fell. He shot the man he had knocked out and came over to me._

"_You okay?" He asked. I nodded. He took the ropes off my hands and grabbed the gun that had fallen on the floor and gave it to me._

"_Sawyer," I said, holding the gun in my hands, "I can't… I don't know how to use this." He grabbed my hands and showed me how to position it._

"_Hold it like this, and aim with both eyes open. Shot for the middle of their chest or the head or something that will kill them. Don't hit this button- it's the safety, and it'll make it so the gun can't fire. Got it?" He asked me. I nodded._

"_Sawyer… I can't kill someone," I said. He sighed._

"_Carmen, I'm sorry, but I don't care. If they try to kill you, or you think they might try, you kill them. That's it," He said. He looked me in the eyes and held my hands. I nodded. We walked into the hall and slowly rounded the corners, waiting for someone to jump out at us. We could see the main door of the warehouse. "Wait… this don't feel right," He said. He walked ahead of me, and a man knocked him down. He dropped his gun and another man came out, along with the man in the suit. I pointed the gun at the man in the suit._

"_Stop!" I yelled. "Leave him alone!" The man in the suit laughed._

"_Leave him alone? Do you know what he did?" He asked me._

"_Even if he lied to me, I don't care! Leave him alone…"_

"_Bennie, do it," The man said. I pointed the gun to the man aiming at Sawyer._

"_Stop! Now!" I demanded. He put the gun to Sawyer's head. "Stop!" I screamed. I pulled the trigger on the gun, and the man fell to the ground. I couldn't believe what I'd done. I turned to the man in the suit, who has reaching into his pocket. I fired at him, too, and shot him in the head. I stared at the two bodies, dead on the ground, and then looked to Sawyer. He got up and ran to me._

"_Honey, you okay?" He asked, grabbing my shoulders. I looked down and dropped the gun._

"_Oh my God…"_

"_Carmen, you did great, you're okay," He said._

"_I just killed… oh my God…"_

"_Carmen," He said. I looked up at him. "You did the right thing." I nodded, and he nodded back at me. He picked up my gun and ran to the front door. We walked out, and two men grabbed him, and one grabbed me. He looked in the door and saw the men dead. He threw me to the ground and wrapped his fingers around my neck, strangling me. I coughed and gagged as I heard punches thrown and gun shots in the background. And then one came from above me, and the grip around my neck loosened. He fell on top of me, and then Sawyer pushed him off. He reached down his hand to me and helped me stand. I heard a siren in the distance._

_

* * *

_"Well, at least all of this business with Sun is taking some of the tension of you, right?" I asked Claire. She nodded.

"Yeah, I guess… why would anyone hurt her though? I mean, if Sawyer's right and it wasn't the others, who would do it?"

"That's what I asked Sawyer, but he doesn't have a clue either."

"We had an agreement!" Jack yelled. I turned to see him arguing with John by the big fire.

"An agreement that you were about to violate, Jack," John replied. "Yes, I moved the guns."

"Where? Where? Where, John?" Jack asked.

"Well, are you gonna start handing them out? How many? Who gets them? How much time before there's an accident, another 'accident?' I made a mistake teachin' Michael how to shoot and now he's… he could be dead for all I know, and that, that was my fault. I take responsibility for that so, yes. I'm taking responsibility for the guns, too."

"I want 2 guns, John!" Jack said.

"I'm sorry Jack, that's the way it's gonna be…"

"2 guns. Now tell me where they are, right now!" Suddenly gun shots went off. I stepped in front of Claire and pushed her back. A shadow came out of the trees, holding a gun. I stepped forward as I saw him. Sawyer walked forward.

"That's right, Jack! He's as stupid as you are. You were so busy worryin' about each other that you never even saw me comin', did ya? So how you listen up, cause I'm only gonna say this once. You took my stuff. While I was off tryin' to get us help… get us rescued… you found my stash, and you took it. Divvied it up. My shavin' cream, my batteries… even my beer. And then somethin' else happened! You decided these two boys here were going to tell you what to do, and when to do it. Well, I'm done takin' orders. And I don't want my stuff back! Shavin' cream don't matter, batteries don't matter… only thing that matters now are guns. And if you want one, you're gonna have to come to me to get it! Oh, you wanna torture me, don't ya? Show everybody how civilized you are! Go ahead… but I'll die before I give 'em back. And then you'll really be screwed, won't ya? New sheriff in town, boys! And ya'll best get used to it." He walked off to the side. I walked away to my tent, not saying a word to Claire.

* * *

_The sirens were getting closer, and I was starting to panic._

"_Sawyer… I need your help," I said._

"_What… the cops are comin'…"_

"_That's why I need help, Sawyer!" I yelled._

"_Why did you run away?" He asked. I looked around, scared._

"_I… I had a kid," I said. He stared at me. "My parents gave her away, and I found out the baby was here… so I jumped on a plane and left. Sawyer, if they find me, I'll never find her! I can't go back home, not yet, I'm so close! Please… the police can't find me!" He put his hand on his head. He ran back to the guns and gave one to me. He had a pen in his hand, and he took my hand._

"_When you're safe… call me in a week at 5:00 at this number," He said. I looked at me hand. The number was 815-2342._

"_You're not going to tell the police, right?" I asked. He shook his head._

"_No, Carmen… you saved my life," He said._

"_And you saved mine."_

"_Next Thursday, 5:00," He said. I nodded. "Go." I smiled, and turned to run, but turned and hugged him first. He hugged me back, but hesitantly. I let go and ran off down the alleyway, my gun in the back of my jeans._

_

* * *

_It was probably around midnight, and I walked over to Sawyer's tent. He looked up at me.

"Hey, honey," He said.

"Why?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"How could I resist?"

"You just… can't learn a lesson, can you?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"Guess not." I shook my head.

"Sawyer, just… do the right thing," I said.

"And what's the right thing?" He asked.

"I know you have someone that helped you. You were at the hatch, and can't track worth a damn, so you couldn't have followed him to the stash of guns. Just… don't give him his drugs," I said. I turned to walk away.

"He didn't want 'um," Sawyer yelled after me. I walked forward, trying to ignore him.

* * *

_I watched the clock as it hit 5:00. I picked up the phone quickly and dialed. 815-2342… the phone rang. And rang. And rang. And rang. And rang. No one was picking up. I was about to hang up._

"_Carmen?" A voice said._

"_Sawyer?" I asked._

"_Hey, San Diego," He said._

**YAY! So let me know if that has satisfied you. I really liked writing it. I was too excited to wait! Haha. Anyways, might be a while till my next one, or might happen this weekend! Talk to you then! 3 Bryana!**


	36. One of Them

**Okay, looks like you guys enjoyed the last chapter! I'm so happy! Okay, here's One of Them! Wonder which side Carmen's going to take? Hmm… let's read on…**

I turned the knob to the right, turning off the shower. I grabbed the towel I had draped over the top of the shower and dried my face, then the rest of my body. I stepped out and got dressed, and then walked out of the bathroom, running my fingers through my hair. John was walking towards the bedroom.

"Hello. Enjoy your shower?" He asked me. I smiled.

"It is nice to have a shower again," I replied. He smiled.

"Leaving?" He asked. I nodded.

"Unless you need me?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Go. I'm here, I'll take care of the button," He said. I smiled, and walked through the hallway out of the hatch. I decided I'd take a different route to the beach, and walked a ways. I picked up a stick and broke it in half, and threw it back behind me as I walked through a cluster of trees. When I looked in front of me, Rousseau was pointing a gun at me, with Sayid behind her.

"Whoa!" I yelled, jumping back in fear.

"It's fine, she's one of us," Sayid said, lowering Rousseau's gun. I stepped forward.

"As for trust," She said to Sayid, offering her gun to him, "Take this." Sayid took the gun from her. "If I'm lying, it's yours to use." Sayid checked to see if there was ammunition in the gun. When he was reassured, he looked back up at Rousseau.

"How much further?" He asked her.

"Not far," She replied. She then turned to walk. I walked beside Sayid.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked him. He looked to Rousseau, then back at me.

"I don't know."

"Then why are you going with her? Claire told me she tried to take her baby!"

"I'm going with her because she felt it necessary to find me to deal with whatever it is we are going to." He stepped forward.

"Then I'm coming," I said.

"No."

"Yes," I said quickly. "If it's as simple as you said, then why not?" He looked up to Rousseau, who nodded, then nodded to me.

"Fine," He said. I followed him and Rousseau quietly for another fifteen minutes or so, until Sayid said something.

"How much further?" He asked. Rousseau didn't say anything. "Danielle!"

"We're here," She said, stopping.

"And where exactly is here?" Sayid asked. She leaned over and moved some leaves aside, picking up a crossbow and arrows. "What is that for Danielle?"

"Help me!" I heard a man cry out. I looked in front of me. "Hey! Somebody, help!" I ran forward to see a bag of rope, hanging from a tree, and an arm wave out of it. "Over here!" I ran forward. "Please! Help me! Help me!"

"Don't believe a word he says!" Danielle said. I ran to the man and stood under the web of ropes. "He's one of them."

"I have no idea what she's talking about. She's crazy!" The man said.

"How long has he been up there?!" Sayid asked Danielle.

"Since last night!" The man yelled. "Please, just cut me down! My name's Henry Gale, I'm from Minnesota!"

"Sayid help me get him down," I said.

"Please," Henry pleaded.

"He's lying," Danielle said. Sayid pulled a knife out of a sheath on his belt.

"I'm going to cut him down," Sayid said, backing over to the rope holding up the netting Henry was stuck in.

"Don't."

"Thank you," Henry whispered.

"You're making a serious mistake," Danielle said as I backed away from the web of ropes. The rope snapped, and the trap fell from the tree, Henry breathing quickly and scared. He wiggled and pushed out of the ropes. I ran to him and helped him free himself.

"It's okay, it's alright," I said to him as he panicked. He laid on the ground a minute. I looked up to Danielle, who was loading her crossbow. Henry saw her, too, and got up quickly and ran in fear.

"Wait!" Sayid said. He saw Danielle pointing the bow. "Danielle! Don't!" She fired the bow and hit him, stopping him in his tracks and knocking him over. I stood a moment in shock, then ran to Henry's body, lying on the ground. Sayid caught up to me, followed by Rousseau. "You could have killed him."

"If I wanted to kill him, I would have killed him," She said.

"You shot this man with no provocation…"

"He is one of them!" She yelled. She pulled rope out of her pockets. "Tie him up. You should take him to your doctor. He's no good to you dead." As Sayid and Danielle tied him up, I looked at his face.

"And then what?" Sayid asked.

"You talk to him, Sayid. As I recall, that is what you do," She said. She was talking about torturing people. I looked up at her, then to Sayid, hoping he'd reject her idea, but he said nothing. "But know this… he will lie. A long time, he will lie." Sayid stood up and picked up Henry, and we walked quickly back to the hatch.

"You won't, will you?" I asked him. He looked ahead of him only.

"I won't what?" He asked.

"Torture him?" I said. He didn't look at me. "When you stabbed Sawyer… you said you'd never do anything like that again. Please, Sayid, there's another way." He said nothing.

"I will do what has to be done," He said. He stopped and turned to me. "I will do only that, Carmen, but I must do that." I nodded, and we hurried back to the hatch. I went ahead and opened the door to the hatch, letting Sayid in. Sayid leaned him against the workout bench.

"I need Jack," I said, looking at his shoulder. I got up and ran to the bathroom, looking for medical tools, like gauze and alcohol.

"Who are you?" Sayid said after a while. I hurried into the main room to where Sayid and John were kneeling in front of a distressed Henry.

"Henry… Henry Gale… ahh, my back!" He said, seeing the arrow. I knelt in front of him.

"John, where are the medical supplies?" I asked.

"With the guns," He said, meaning no where I could find them.

"Great…"

"We're going to take it out, but first I want you to relax. How did you get to this island?" Sayid asked.

"Four months ago… we crashed, my wife and I," He said.

"Crashed in what?"

"A balloon. We were trying to cross the Pacific," He said.

"Your wife, where is she?" Sayid asked. Henry looked up in fright.

"She died… she got… she got sick. Three weeks ago. We were staying in a cave off… the beach. My shoulder! At least untie my arms!" He pleaded.

"What the hell's going on here?" Jack asked.

"Jack," I said in relief, standing up.

"Rousseau trapped him in the jungle. She believes he is an other," Sayid said, giving Jack a pause.

"Another what?" Henry asked.

"You shot him with an arrow?" Jack asked.

"Do I have a bow?" Sayid replied sarcastically.

"Hey! Hey, you with me?" Jack asked Henry, kneeling in front of him. Henry nodded. "What, you were just gonna let him bleed to death? Carmen, keep him conscious."

"Right," I said, kneeling in front of Henry. Sayid and Jack argued behind me. "Henry, I need you to keep talking to me a few minutes," I said.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked me, panicked and afraid.

"We're going to get the arrow out of your shoulder, but you need to relax…"

"How?" He asked. I paused.

"I'm sorry, but it is going to hurt," I said. He looked up in fear. "But not as much as it would hurt to keep it in your shoulder." He grimaced. I nodded. Jack came over with a water bottle and gave him some water.

"Jack?" Sayid said from behind us. "Do not untie him." I looked back to Henry, who was going to go into shock soon. I took off his jacket slowly as Jack brought over some tools. He took scissors and cut his shirt off around the arrow. He went and grabbed some antiseptic and poured it on the wound.

"Hold him as still as you can," Jack told me. I nodded, and grabbed his thigh and his elbow to hold him still while Jack took the arrow out. He took pliers and cut off as much as he could of the arrow coming out from the back. Henry groaned, but didn't open his eyes. Jack put gauze over where the wound we be in the front and started pulling the arrow out with the pliers. Henry breathed heavily and quickly, groaning, but remaining completely still. When the arrow was out, he passed out. Jack held him up as I cleaned the back side of the wound and put gauze over it with medical tape. We then laid him down on his back, and cleaned the front side of the wound. I was putting the tape over the gauze when Sayid and Locke approached us.

"Did he say anything?" Sayid asked us.

"No, he didn't," Jack said quickly, "He was in shock."

"We can't just leave him layin' here, Jack," John said. "People 'll see him, it'll create a panic."

"Yeah? Well, where do you think we should put him?" Jack asked.

"I say we put him in the armory. It's secure," Sayid suggested.

"It's better to err on the side of safety, Jack. Just until we can be sure," John said.

"Okay," Jack said. "For now." John helped pick him up, and I moved over to the sink and washed my hands as the three men moved him into the armory. The door shut and I looked up, drying my hands. I only saw Jack and John.

"Where's Sayid?" I asked. Jack looked back to the door of the armory, and started walking back.

"Sayid?" Jack asked, knocking on the door. "Hey, what the hell you doin'? Sayid! Hey!" Jack knocked harder. I looked to John, who looked guilty.

"John?" I asked. He looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck, then started walking around the room. Jack tried putting in the combination.

"Damn it… Sayid, open the door! Sayid answer me…"

"Jack," John started.

"Why isn't this combination working, John? Did you change it?" He asked angrily.

"Yeah," John replied, somewhat guilty.

"Why would you do that?" Jack demanded.

"You were raising an army," John said.

"What?"

"And why you didn't ask me to help, well that's your business, but there's only one reason to raise an army, Jack, and that's because we're at war," He explained. Jack walked over to the armory door, trying to think of a way to convince John to open the door. "And like it or not, whatever Sayid has to do behind that door, that's a part of it, too." Jack pointed to the door.

"What if he's tellin' the truth, John?" He asked.

"What if he's not?" I sat down on the couch, crossing my arms, trying to figure out what to think.

* * *

I picked the tools and scissors up off the ground and started to wash them.

"Can I give you a hand?" John asked Jack. Jack didn't say anything. "Jack, I know this isn't…"

"Shut up," Jack said, tired and annoyed. I put the scissors down on a towel and thought. I looked over at the bench.

"Where are the pliers?" I asked Jack, hoping he'd say they were in his hands. He looked to John, and my eyes followed. He didn't look surprised. Sayid had them. I leaned on the counter. "John… we can't let Sayid do this." I felt him look at me, but I didn't look back. "That man is telling the truth."

"What if he isn't?"

"What if he is?!" I yelled, turning around quickly. "I was out there with them when you were, John! They said they'd leave us alone! Why would they come?"

"These people don't have rules, Carmen, they place rules on us, but this is their island. They'll do what they want!" I rolled my eyes, and stayed silent a moment, turning back to the counter.

"He's not lying. After being shot, after a woman trapped him and shot him with an arrow, he kept the same story! You know why, because it was true! Who the hell would make up coming from Minnesota, John! Or coming here in a balloon?!" I asked. Sayid started yelling, and Henry screamed, crying for help. "Jack!" I yelled, scared for Henry.

"Sayid! Sayid!" Jack yelled, pounding on the door.

"Jack," John said, trying to stop him.

"Open it. Open it now, John," Jack demanded.

"Jack, this has to happen…" Jack grabbed John by his shirt collar and pushed him to the wall.

"Open that damn door, you understand me? You open it now," Jack demanded. John shook his head.

"No."

"Now!" Jack yelled, as the button beeped. I turned to put in the numbers. "Carmen, don't!" I stopped, unsure what to think about the button. I ran to the door and pounded over it, trying to scream over Sayid's yells and Henry's cries.

"Okay… okay, right fifteen, left…"

"You think I'm stupid? You open it," Jack demanded, throwing him to the door. I backed up. I watched as John put in the combination, and pushed aside him as he ran to enter the numbers. Jack opened the armory to see Sayid kicking Henry down to the floor. Jack pulled him back, and I ran in front of him to push him away and to stop him from kicking Henry anymore.

"He's lying!" Sayid yelled over and over again.

"Not like this!" Jack yelled. "That's enough!" Jack threw him over. I walked in front of the armory door and shut it. I turned and leaned against the wall as we caught our breath. "What the hell was that?"

"He is one of them," Sayid said. I shook my head.

"Yeah? Did he tell you that?" Jack asked.

"No," He said.

"Then how do you know?"

"Because I know. He is one of them," Sayid said, almost like he was in a trance.

"I think that's what Rousseau thought about you once, Sayid. If I'm not mistaken, she strapped you down, she shocked you all because she thought you were one of them," Jack reminded him.

"He is," John said.

"What?" Jack asked.

"He is one of them. To Rousseau, we're all others. Guess it's all relative, huh?" He asked. I shook my head.

"What you did in there, Sayid," I started. He looked up at me. "It was wrong."

"I did what was necessary…"

"No, Sayid, it wasn't necessary to beat him halfway to hell! He was telling the truth!" I yelled.

"He was not…"

"Sayid!" I yelled, walking around to try to calm myself. "Leave. Leave and don't come back here, Sayid." He looked at me, confused, but he walked out and left. I sat down on the couch and sighed, putting my hand on my forehead.

"Carmen…" John started.

"John, just shut up and leave me alone," I said. I never looked at him, and he didn't say another word.

**Hehehe, did you think she would defend him? Well, she did. So there. Hope you liked it. Poor Henry… or is he? I don't know… do you? Maybe… maybe not… I'm going to stop typing now.**


	37. Maternity Leave

**I'm so happy! It seems like you guys are getting into my story, which really makes me happy! Okay, anyways, you don't want to listen to me, you want to listen to Carmen, so here she is! Maternity Leave…**

"No, Carmen," Jack said, putting his hand on his head while he thought.

"Why not, Jack? If he can trust anyone, it's me," I reminded him.

"And how do you work that out?"

"I helped get Sayid off of him. I'm young, and, as far as he knows, harmless," I whispered. He looked at the door of the armory, then wiped his forehead.

"Fine," He said. I gathered up his medical supplies, a bottle of water and the plate I had prepared. "But you only get ten minutes." I nodded. Jack opened the door to the armory and watched as I walked in. Henry was laying on the floor, sleeping. I put down the bag and water bottle on the floor, and put the plate on the ledge where the guns used to sit. I knelt down by Henry and untied his hands.

"I'm sorry," I heard from behind me while I untied his feet. I turned around to see his eyes open, but him still lying still on the floor.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, getting the ropes off his feet.

"For whatever it is you people think I did," He said. I looked to him, feeling guilty. I reached to his shoulders. Jack had moved in a cot and it sat to my right.

"Let me help you up onto this cot," I said. I helped him sit up, and then get to his feet and sit on the cot. I looked at his face that was covered in blood and cuts from Sayid. "Well, you don't need stitches," I said, examining the cuts.

"Yay," He said sarcastically. I laughed a little, getting the alcohol and a washcloth from Jack's bag. I got some alcohol on the cloth and dabbed it over his face. "Why are you doing this?" Henry asked me.

"Cleaning your wounds?" I asked for clarification. I shrugged. "Because someone needs to do it." Henry stayed quiet a second.

"Sayid didn't seem to feel that way," He said as I finished cleaning a cut on his forehead. I leaned back and looked down at the floor.

"Look, Henry," I said, putting the alcohol and the rag behind me and picking up the water. I offered the bottle to Henry. "What he did… he shouldn't… what he did to you was wrong." He nodded at me, then looked down at his hands.

"Oh," He said, understanding. I smiled, and offered him the plate from behind me with fruit on it. He looked at the plate and nodded again. I picked up Jack's bag and walked towards the door. I knocked three times. "What's your name?" He asked me. I turned around and smiled.

"Carmen," I said. He nodded.

"Thank you, Carmen." I smiled as Jack opened the door, then walked out.

"So?" Jack asked me, after he closed the door.

"No stitches needed, he's fine, has water and food," I said. Jack nodded. "I'm gonna go to bed, it's late," I said. I walked to the bedroom and laid down on top of the covers and fell asleep.

* * *

I spooned the rice I made out onto the plate beside the pork chop, and put the plate onto a tray.

"No peas?" John asked me. I looked down at the plate, and back up at him.

"Peas? Do you eat peas with your pork chops?" He nodded, very matter-of-factly. "Ew. Applesauce. Applesauce is the only thing I can eat with pork chops to force them down."

"Ew, yourself," John said, picking up a book from the shelf. Jack went to the armory door, and John opened it. Jack walked in first, and I followed with the tray.

"You have to go to the bathroom?" Jack asked.

"No," Henry answered quickly. I offered the plate to him, and he took it obediently.

"Well, just let us know when you do," Jack told him.

"Yeah, I'll look forward to that," Henry said. Jack started to walk out, and I followed, holding the tray and the old plate I'd given him. John walked forward, though.

"Thought you might need something to read," John said, throwing _The Brothers Karamazov _onto the cot beside him.

"Dostoevsky… you don't have any Stephen King?" Henry asked, half joking.

"Library's a little outdated," John said.

"Right… well, thanks," Henry said appreciatively. I walked out, John following. John shut the door and turned to Jack.

"What's with the book?" Jack asked John.

"Just something to pass the time," John said innocently. "Did you know that Hemingway was jealous of Dostoevsky?" He asked Jack.

"No, John, I did not know that," Jack said, half condescending.

"He wanted to be the world's greatest writer, but convinced himself that he could never get out from under Dostoevsky's shadow… kind of sad, really," John said. "What are we doing, Jack?" John asked, changing topics.

"What are we doing?" Jack asked, confused. I sat down on the couch.

"We can't hide him down here forever. Changing shifts around is gonna get people askin' questions, I just wanna know what the long term plan is."

"Well, John, let me ask you this: we don't have a long term plan for the button, but we keep pushin' it don't we?" Jack pointed out. I looked to John for a response, but he did nothing. "Look, until we know who he is, whether or not he's telling the truth. We need to keep doin' what we're doin'. You got a better idea, let's hear it," Jack asked.

"How 'bout you let me go!" Henry suggested from inside the armory. I looked to the door, then smiled a little to myself.

* * *

I walked on to the beach and went to my tent. I got my backpack and put a few shirts in it so that I could be prepared to stay in the hatch a while. I heard Claire scream. I dropped the shirt I was holding and ran out to the beach and ran towards Kate who was holding Aaron and running towards a patch of trees.

"What happened?" I asked Libby, who has trying to calm Claire.

"It was Ethan!" Claire yelled.

"What did you do?" Kate asked Libby.

"Nothing! She just…"

"Do it again," Claire whispered, then grabbed Libby. "Do it again!"

"No, Claire, you were screaming!" Libby said.

"I remembered, okay! I saw Ethan! He was there, and he was giving me an exam…"

"Claire, what you saw could be combining experiences of what happened before the crash to the things that happened to you here on the island…"

"No! I know this was real! I was drugged. He did something to me…"

"Claire, you need to calm down, alright, it's not good for Aaron," Kate said. Claire took Aaron from Kate.

"You know what, Aaron is sick, okay? I need to find that place! That room, it's real, it's real! And there's medicine there for the baby! I need to find it, I need to find it… Kate, please, help me find it," Claire pleaded. Kate nodded and the two walked off. I looked to Libby.

"What the hell?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"Claire… her baby's sick, and she was trying to remember what happened to her when she was kidnapped. I guess… I guess she remembered," I ran over to Claire.

"Claire, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to find that place," She said, putting Aaron in his crib.

"You're leaving? Claire…"

"Carmen, I have to do this, I need to find medicine for Aaron! He's sick!" She said. I looked at Aaron who was crying. "Look, all I'm asking from you is that you don't stop me," She told me. I stared at her for a second, then walked away, knowing Kate would take care of her. I walked back to my tent and remembered why I came to the beach. I walked to Sawyer's tent as Kate walked away. I walked up to Sawyer, who was sitting and reading.

"Can I borrow one of your books?" I asked him. He took of his huge glasses.

"Well, hey there, San Diego," Sawyer said, "Where you been?" I kind of laughed.

"Can I borrow a book, Sawyer?" I asked again. He nodded.

"Yeah, which one?" He asked.

"Anything Stephen King?" I asked in return. He got up and looked down at me.

"Stephen King? Since when do you read Stephen King?" He asked.

"Since now, can I just borrow it?" I asked. He went into his tent and came out a second letter, carrying a thick book. I looked at the cover: it said _The Stand_. I reached for the book, but Sawyer pulled back his arm.

"This mean we're pals again?" Sawyer asked. I grabbed the book.

"No," I said, walking away with the book. I grabbed my backpack from my tent and walked back to the hatch.

* * *

I walked into the main room of the hatch with the book in my hand. Jack and John were standing in the kitchen with their arms crossed. I looked to the armory door.

"Can I talk to him?" I asked. John nodded.

"When Eko's done, sure," He said.

"Eko?" I asked. Jack nodded.

"He figured it out… wanted to talk to him. So we let him," Jack said. Three knocks came from the door. John opened the door and Eko walked out. Without saying a word, he left the hatch. I walked in through the door to see Henry, petrified on the cot.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He looked down at the floor.

"F… Fine…" I dropped the book on the cot.

"I found some Stephen King for you," I said. He looked at it a second, then up at me. He even smiled a little.

"Thank you."

**Slower chapter, I know, but you have those every once in a while. Wonder where Henry and Carmen's relationship is gonna go…. Hrm…**


	38. The Whole Truth

**Okay, don't ask why it's been so long since I've written, I have no excuse, sorry. Anyway, this one isn't too thrilling, but hopefully I'll be writing one a day, so review!**

I was lying across the couch, waiting to hear the button, or fall asleep. I closed my eyes a little. I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I woke up, John and Jack were coming out of the bathroom.

"Thanks, anyway," John said, walking out first, wiping his face with a towel. Jack nodded.

"Yeah…" He said in an unwelcoming tone. I raised my eyebrows as they looked over at me.

"Hi, boys," I said, sitting up. "Mind if I ask a question?" John smiled, and walked into the computer room while Jack shook his head and walked towards me. "You were partying in the bathroom," I said. Jack smiled. "And I wasn't invited?"

He laughed. "No, uh… John let Ana Lucia in to talk to Henry," He said. I looked over at the armory.

"How long's she been in there?" I asked more seriously. He shrugged.

"Don't know… ask John," He said, getting up and walking to the kitchen. I looked down at my hands as he cut up an apple and put some peanut butter on the plate next to it. He came back and sat next to me. He offered the plate to me, and we sat and ate apple slices together. As we were eating, John came in and started looking through the records. He pulled out one with bubbly writing on it titled 'Geronimo Jackson.' He put it on the record player, and it started playing softly. He pulled a few more records off of the shelf and sat down in the chair near the armory door, flipping through them. I swiped my finger along the plate and stuck the last bits of peanut butter in my mouth. I picked up the plate and took it to the sink. Jack walked over to the hatch door and stuck his ear to it. I washed the plate, and put it away in the cabinet.

"Can't hear anything…" Jack said, listening carefully through the thick door.

"She's only been in there about thirty minutes," John said complacently.

"How do you know he hasn't snapped her neck, John?" Jack asked, backing away from the door. John looked up from his records.

"How do you know she hasn't snapped his?" John asked in reply. I wiped off my hands and sat down on the couch close to the armory. We sat in silence for a while. John moved on to tightening part of the exercise bike, and Jack eventually sat down at the table. I leaned back on the couch and drifted off into my thoughts. Suddenly, I heard three knocks at the armory door. I sat up.

"Coming out," I heard Ana through the door. Jack got up and hurried across the room. He quickly put in the combination on the lock and opened the door. Ana walked out calmly. We walked into the computer room.

"He told me the same story he told you," she said.

"Do you believe him?" John asked. Ana circled the computer.

"I don't know yet; I need more time with him." John pointed back at the door to the armory.

"He's all yours," He said.

"Tomorrow. I wanna give him some time to think," She said. John nodded in agreement and walked out of the room. Ana followed, then looked to Jack. "If that's okay with you." John stopped and looked back.

Jack shook his head. "I didn't tell anyone, Ana." She chuckled a little.

"No worries, man," she said, then walked past Jack and out of the hatch. Jack turned and watched her leave, and then followed Jack into the main room. I stood in the computer room for a few more minutes, leaning on the desk. I heard a little beep, and looked up at the timer. It was counting down from four minutes. I sat behind the computer and typed in the numbers: '4 8 15 16 23 42,' and hit execute. I leaned back in the chair.

* * *

I walked into the living room, where John sat on the couch.

"I'm gonna go to the beach… I'll be back soon," I said. He nodded, and sat back again. I walked out of the hatch and through the woods. I needed a break from the hatch. Being in the air conditioning too long felt weird. I walked through the woods at a quicker pace than usual, wanting to be back in contact with my friends on the beach. When I walked on to the sand, I felt relieved. I walked down the beach to my tent and sat down on my seats. It felt good to be home. I walked around and said hi to Claire and Kate, who seemed oddly happy. Afterwards I stopped by Sawyer's tent, but he wasn't there. I was walking back to the tree line when Jin ran to me. Sun was shortly behind him. He said something in Korean.

"Hey, Jin… what?" I asked, giggling a little. Sun walked up to Jin and smiled, holding his arm. She looked to me.

"He said, I am a father," She said. I was confused. A father? What did…

"You're pregnant!" I screamed. She smiled and nodded. I screamed and threw my arms around her. She hugged me back. "Oh my God! When did you find out?"

"Earlier today," She said. I hugged Jin.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy for you!" I smiled. "But… I have to go," I said. Sun smiled and nodded. "Oh, I'm so excited, though! I'll see you soon, ok?" I walked into the jungle a little, until Jin stopped me.

"Carmen," He said.

"Yeah, Jin?" I replied.

"Can you… help… English?" He asked. I figured he wanted me to help him learn some English before his kid was born. I smiled and nodded.

"I can help you learn English," I said. He smiled and nodded back at me. I hugged him, then told him to go back to the beach. He smiled and ran back in the direction of the beach as I started walking back to the hatch.

* * *

I woke up on the top bunk bed. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and got up, walking into the living room, where I noticed Henry… pouring a bowl of cereal. I walked in a little faster and stood opposite Henry and Jack.

"This must be my reward for good behavior, huh?" Henry asked. "Guess I earned myself some good will for finally drawing that map for Ana." I stood up straight and looked to Jack. Jack and John looked intently at Henry.

"What map?" John asked.

"To my balloon," Henry said.

"Did you-" Jack started.

"No," John replied.

"Wow, you guys have some real trust issues, don't you?" Henry asked. "Guess it makes since she didn't tell you. I mean, with you two fighting all the time. Of course, if I was one of them… these people that you seem to think are your enemies… what would I do?" I looked suspiciously down at Henry. "Well, there'd be no balloon, so I'd draw a map to a real secluded place, like a cave, or some underbrush… I good place for a trap… an ambush. And when your friends got there, a bunch of my people would be waiting for them. Then they'd use them to trade for me. I guess it's a good thing I'm not one of them, huh?" He said. Jack looked to me, then to Locke. I looked back at Henry.

"You guys got any milk?"

**Hehehe, yay! I hope to write another episode tomorrow!**


	39. Lockedown

**Hey guys! I had originally planned to put a flashback for Carmen in this episode, but it seemed meaningless (it was going to be about Josh and Carmen's relationship). Really, they just got along like a classic teen couple (I think that's been established in other flashbacks). Okay, enjoy!**

We stared intently at Henry. I put my hand to my forehead, worried. Jack pulled a notebook from across the table and slid it in front of Henry.

"Draw it again. The map to your balloon," Jack ordered.

"I was joking, I was making a joke," Henry said. He nervously looked between us. "There's nothing out there… besides my balloon. I was just frustrated. It was a stupid thing to say, I'm sorry."

John looked up at Jack and said, "It doesn't matter anyway, she's already long gone, Jack."

"So, what's done is done?" Jack questioned.

"That's right," John nodded. Jack turned angrily to Henry, then back to John.

"Put him back in the armory," He said as he picked up his backpack and left. The button beeped, and I looked once to Henry, then to John, then walked into the computer room and typed in the numbers. I heard Henry desperately cry for forgiveness as I hit the execute button. When I went back into the living room, John was standing by the armory rubbing his forehead.

"I'm going to take a nap," I said. He looked up at me. "I've been up all night with the button…"

"Yeah," He said quickly, "Yeah, go ahead." I smiled slightly and nodded, and made my way to the bunk beds. I climbed up to the top one and fell asleep quickly.

* * *

A loud, sharp, piercing noise woke me up. I sat up quickly, and then, realizing everything was okay, laid back down and rubbed my eyes, slowly waking up.

"Will you be quiet?" I heard John yell to Henry. "Will you shut up?" I heard him yell. I flung my legs over the side of the bed. "I said shut up!" I heard John say, and then a loud noise, and a metal door started coming down.

"John!" I yelled, jumping off the bed and running for the door. It was almost closed. "John!" And he was gone.

* * *

I sat on the bunk bed in silence. The room was eerily quiet. No noise came through the metal door. It had been ten or twenty minutes by now, and nothing happened. I sat in the silence, contemplating what happened. Did we miss the button? We couldn't have. What else could it have been, though? The lights flickered a few times. Maybe it was a reaction from a power shortage? I lay down on the bed, hoping some miracle would come and explain everything.

* * *

I was sitting on the lower bunk when a soft beep pulled my head up to the door. Again. The button was going off. And I couldn't do anything. I ran to the door.

"John!" I yelled. "John!" I screamed. "John!!" I screamed at the top of my voice. There was no answer. I walked around the room, trying to think of a way out. I looked up and saw a very small vent for air conditioning. I couldn't fit through it, but maybe John would hear me through it. I put a chair in front of the dresser and climbed on top of it. There were screws holding the cover on. I couldn't get it off with my hands, but next to it, the beeps were louder. I jumped down and looked for something to unscrew it with. There wasn't anything in the room. There was a metal water bottle. I picked it up and climbed on top of the dresser again, and started banging at the metal cover with it. I hit it again and again, but nothing was happening. The beeps became loud and urgent. We had under a minute left. I hit the vent harder with it. Nothing happened, other than dents forming on the top of the bottle. I scanned the room again, looking for something harder. I threw the bottle down as I jumped off the dresser. I looked around the room, throwing around books and old medical materials that were left in the room. The beeping came closer together, meaning I had no time. I got down on the floor and sat against the bed, trying to calm myself. There was nothing I could do now… except wait. I sat on the floor, thinking of Josh, Morgan, my parents, my friends… Claire, Aaron, Sun, Jin… Sawyer… I had been ignoring all of them since we found Henry, and for what? I'd wasted time with them… I'd missed my chances to say goodbye…

The beeping stopped. I heard clicking, and something powering up. I felt the floor buzz a little. I put my hand between my knees and grabbed Boone's necklace around my neck as the lights went out. The noises stopped, and darkness surrounded me. There was only silence. I stood up, putting my hands behind me and using the bed as leverage. I couldn't see my hand an inch from my face it was so dark. Ten seconds later or so, the lights came back on. I turned as a loud noise started up, and my blast door opened. I hesitantly went under it and into the main room. I couldn't see anyone, and then I heard John groan. I walked forward to see him lying on the floor with a towel beneath his head.

"John," I said softly, walking to him.

"Henry?" He yelled. I looked to the armory door, which was wide open.

"You let him out?" I asked nervously, kneeling down next to him.

"I had to," He explained. I looked at his leg. He was injured.

"John, your leg…"

"Find him," John said. I got up and ran to the armory, as an instinctual place to look. He was gone, of course. I looked around the corner to see that he wasn't in the hallway.

"Henry? Anybody here?" I heard Locke in the other room. "Is anybody here? Henry!" Locke cried out. Then he was silent. I came back around the corner to see Henry, standing softly behind John. I slowly walked up behind him, cautious, curious, and dumbfounded. "You came back…"

"What, did you think I was gonna leave you here?" Henry asked, kneeling beside Locke. "Come on, can you stand?" Henry helped Locke stand, but it was obvious Locke was in pain. I walked up behind them slowly.

"You…" I started slowly.

"Can you get the couch ready? For John?" He asked me. I just stared at him. "Carmen?" I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah, of course," I said, backing up. "Right…" I hurried to the couch as Henry helped John walk to us. I went to the bedroom where I picked up the peroxide and some gauze from when Sawyer was hurt. I hurried back into the living room, where Henry already got John on the couch and his leg on the table. I hurried to John's left side and ripped his pants a little around the wound.

"What did you do? What did you do to end it… to make the doors go up?" John asked as Henry walked around the table and to the sink.

"I did what you told me to," Henry said.

"Can you get him some water?" I asked him, looking at his wound.

"I punched in the code and pressed the button, but… nothing happened. Other than that clock flipping back. I was just climbing back in to the vent when the lights went out. Ten seconds later, the doors went up. I didn't do anything," He said, looking to us.

"You think it was all… just random?" John asked. Henry brought John the water.

"Don't look at me. It's your hatch," He said, putting the water down on the table by John's leg. I smiled at Henry.

"Thank you," I said. He smiled back at me, and nodded.

"Of course." I stared at him, smiling. I felt proud to have so much confidence that Henry was telling the truth.

"Get away from him!" Jack ordered as he hurried into the living room.

"Wait, you don't…" Henry started. Sayid walked in, and aimed his gun at Henry.

"Step back, right now," He said.

"Sayid, it's okay," John said.

"I said get away!" Jack said, pulling Henry up and slamming him against the wall.

"Jack, stop!" I yelled.

"It's alright! I let him out!" John said, trying to protect Henry while I moved around to Jack. "It was… some kind of lockdown or something, he… he was helping me!" Everyone was silent. Henry anxiously shook his head.

"Couldn't you find my balloon?" He asked. I suddenly remembered what was going on. Ana Lucia, Kate and Charlie lingered nervously behind Sayid.

"Yeah… we found it," Ana said.

"We did find your balloon, Henry Gale… exactly how you described it," Sayid said, lowering his gun and approaching Henry to his left, opposite me. "We also found the grave you described; your wife's grave. The grave you said you dug with your bare hands. It was all there: your whole story, your alibi, it was true. But still I did not believe it to be true. So I dug up that grave." I looked to Henry, who suddenly looked very nervous. "And found that there was not a woman inside, there was a man." Sayid lifted a drivers license up. As Henry looked nervously away, I read the name, and slowly backed away.

"A man named Henry Gale."

**Hehehe… creepy.**


	40. Dave

**By the way guys, this Sunday-Thursday, I'll be out of town (in Hilton Head), but I'll still try to write an episode per day. Thanks for reading, and try to review!**

"So… what now?" I asked, leaning my head on my hand from the counter. The bar stool felt uncomfortable beneath me, but I knew Kate didn't feel any more comfortable on the couch, or Charlie leaning on the wall. We all sat quietly, trying to think of our next move. Henry wasn't Henry, so… who was he?

"You think he's one of them?" Kate asked.

"Of course he is," Sayid replied quickly.

"We don't know that," Ana rebutted.

"Who else would he be?" Charlie questioned. "As I recall, it's just us, a French girl, and them!"

"Look, everyone just needs to calm down," Jack said. I rubbed my forehead.

"What about John?" I asked. John was now in the bedroom, resting on the lower bunk. "Did you check out his leg?"

"Not yet," Jack replied, "but he can't walk on it. He's fractured something." We sat silently for a minute.

"What are we going to do with him?" Sayid asked quietly, staring at the armory door.

"Nothing yet," Jack said. "We need to make sure he's one of them first…"

"Give me ten minutes with him…"

"Not after what you did last time, no," Jack replied quickly. Sayid was angry. We sat together, arguing about it for another ten minutes. By the time Jack and Sayid were yelling at each other, I got up. When I stood, they got quiet. I turned and walked into the computer room, where the clock sat at 74 minutes. I lay down on the couch in the corner and fell asleep to the yells of Jack protecting a man he didn't know.

* * *

When I woke up, Charlie was gone, but Sayid, Jack, Kate, Ana and Locke were still in the hatch. Jack and Kate were looking at Locke's leg, and Ana and Sayid were arguing about Henry.

"I'm going to the beach," I said. I walked past Ana and Sayid without another word, and out of the hatch. I walked about halfway when I heard a commotion to my right. I walked through the trees to see people gathering around a stack of cardboard boxes. Sawyer was there, with Hurley, Libby, Charlie, and some other people.

"What is this stuff?" I asked, walking to the boxes. Food was overflowing from the boxes. I picked up a box labeled macaroni. I threw it back in, and sifted through the boxes and barrels of food.

"Any of you guys see a plane last night?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I saw it, Tattoo. I just decided not to tell," Sawyer answered sarcastically. People started yelling over the food.

"Guys, calm down!" I yelled, trying to push people away from the boxes. The yells got louder.

"Hold on, take it easy!" Sawyer yelled, "You guys are like locusts! How about a little order here?" He demanded.

"Shouldn't we let someone a little bit more trustworthy take care of this?" Charlie asked Sawyer.

"What? Like you, babynapper?" Sawyer asked.

"No. Like Hurley. Why not Hurley? He's done it before, he can do it again," Charlie suggested. I looked to Hurley as he refused.

"No! No way! Not me, no, not again, no!" Hurley refused. Everyone was quiet, confused at his refusal.

"Okay, hey, hey, guys, guys? How about no one's in charge, okay? I'm sure everyone can manage to just take what they need," Libby argued.

"Great plan, Moonbeam. And after that we can sing Kumbaya, and do 'trust falls,'" Sawyer said. Libby looked offended at his cynicism.

"Why don't we give Charlie the job?" Someone said.

"We can do it any way you want," Sawyer said, grabbing more food.

"What about Carmen?" Someone suggested.

"You up for it, San Diego?" Sawyer asked. I smirked and shook my head.

"Why do you all need your own food stash, anyway?" I asked. Everyone looked up at me. Sawyer just stared at me. "There's plenty of food here for everyone. Why do we need to designate who it goes to? Just put it in the group food," I said. Most people seemed like they realized how stupid and selfish they'd been. Sawyer walked away a little, and then I saw him drop a few boxes, seemingly on accident, but I knew on purpose. He left with two boxes in his hands. I smiled. I turned and saw Hurley, running through the trees. I hurried and followed him, and saw him fall. I ran up to him. He was starting to stand up.

"You okay?" I asked him. He rolled over, then looked back behind him, then back to me.

"Yeah… fine…" He said. "I was just… uh… going to the bathroom." I nodded.

"Okay," I said. I walked back towards the food drop, past the greedy villagers, and to the beach.

* * *

I walked past Sawyer, who had a box of oreos on his lap, and a cup of milk on top of it.

"Well, hello, boss," He said, pulling the oreo apart.

"Boss?" I asked. His cookie broke, and he tossed it aside.

"Yeah. With your 'group food' speech, you're comin' up on Jack with his 'live together, die alone,' speech," He smiled. I laughed. "Oreo?" He offered. I shook my head and smiled.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I said, walking away. I went to my tent, and took the hairbrush out of my bag. I brushed through my hair, and as I was putting the brush away, I saw Sawyer's tent collapse, and people fighting in the poufy blue tarp. I ran over to see Jin and Sun watching. "What's going on?" I yelled. Sun giggled.

"It's Hurley," She said. I looked at the orange on the blue that was Hurley.

"Barbar! Jabba! Staypuff! Mango! Lardo!" Hurley yelled as he hit Sawyer. I fell backwards from laughing so hard. Jin ran forward and helped pull Hurley off of Sawyer.

"What the hell's the matter with you?!" Sawyer yelled, getting up. He checked to see if he was bleeding, then looked back to Hurley. "You're crazy!" Sawyer walked off angrily, and I followed.

"What'd you do?" I asked, still giggling. He was embarrassed, and shook his head.

"Piss off…"

"Hurley wouldn't just attack you, what'd you do?" I asked, stopping my laughs. I saw Libby walking towards us. I ran towards her and started walking back towards camp with Libby.

"Hey, uh… Hurley attacked Sawyer…"

"What?" Libby asked, stopping. "Why?"

"I don't know… I just thought you should know," I said. She nodded. "Since you hang out with Hurley so much." She nodded again, and hurried back to camp. I giggled a little.

* * *

I stood from a post in my tent and looked across the beach, to where Sawyer sat, cleaning up broken oreos and throwing them into the water. I smiled and walked forward to him.

"Hey," I said softly, sneaking up behind him.

"Great… come to share another giggle?" He asked. I smiled more.

"No," I replied. He sat down on the sand, and I sat next to him, and looked out at the ocean. "It's pretty, isn't it?" I asked. He looked to me, but didn't say anything. "The way the ocean looks at sunset. The water and sky just blend… you don't know where one stops and the other begins." We sat together for a while, watching the peaceful sunset. "Thanks," I finally said.

"For what, San Diego?" He asked. I smiled.

"For backing me up earlier. With the food."

"What are you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked.

"I saw you drop those boxes," I said. "Everyone did. And if you didn't take much, well… no one was going to." I looked at him and smiled. "Deny it all you want, but I know… you backed me up." He laughed a little.

"Well… you caught me, Holmes," He said, smiling. He put his arm around me and hugged me.

"I've missed you," I whispered.

"You didn't have to," He said. "What have you been doing in the hatch all this time, anyway?" I was laying my head on his shoulder when I pushed away from him, and looked into his eyes.

"We found someone," I told him. I knew Jack would be mad at me, but I needed to tell Sawyer.

"What?"

"The French woman found someone. She told Sayid, and we brought him back to the hatch. We've been keeping him there in the armory for… a week or so," I said. Sawyer looked seriously into my eyes. "He's one of them." He pulled me into him again, and we sat together quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell…"

"Don't say you're sorry," He said, holding me with both arms. "Don't be sorry…" I hugged my face to his chest, and we sat quietly together until the colors that blended the water and sky disappeared and faded to black.

**Aww… how sweet. Review, please!  
**


	41. SOS

**Yay! I'm really happy that I got to write today… I sacrificed some summer reading time for it, but, hey, it's worth it, right?!**

I woke up curled up tightly on a blue airplane blanket, with Sawyer's arm draped across me. It was weird how, even with a hatch full of comfortable pillows and blankets, and mattresses and sheets, I was still so much more comfortable lying on a bed made on the beach. It was going to be weird once I got home and couldn't sleep in my bed. It was morning; I could hear people walking around outside. I rolled over to look at Sawyer. He was still asleep. I slowly backed out from under his arm and walked quietly out of the tent. When I stood up straight in the daylight outside of Sawyer's tent, my skin felt immediately warmed. I looked over to the kitchen, where people were finishing loading the homemade shelves with food from the parachute drop. I walked back to my tent to brush my hair and change my shirt.

* * *

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked as Hurley walked past me with a group of five other people.

"Hey, uh, Bernard's freakin' about somethin'," He said. I walked down with Hurley to where Bernard was making a small gathering. Sun, Jin, and Claire were there as I joined the group.

"Hey, Bernard? What's wrong?" I asked. He looked excited.

"Nothing, I'm just… I've got an idea!" He said excitedly.

"Okay," He started, "Two months we've been on this island… two months. And already we've got a water trough, and we've got a, a, a food pantry, and people are taking showers in your… hatch. Have you forgotten that we all crashed on this island? I, It's like none of you want to go home again!"

"Well, how can you say that? Of course we want to go home!" Claire defended.

"Well then why aren't we doing anything about it?" Bernard asked.

"Dude, we like built a raft," Hurley said. I looked down at my feet as people around me mumbled. "But it got blown up."

"Okay. So what are we doin' now? That pallet of food had a parachute! Which means a plane dropped it here! Which means there are other planes that fly over the island! So we are gonna build a sign. A massive sign along the beach. So that way, if a plane flies over, or a satellite takes pictures from up there, we wanna make damn sure that they know we're here! That they know about us!" Bernard claimed excitedly.

"Maybe we should speak to Jack about this first," Rose offered from behind the group. Bernard paused.

"Well, do we have to run everything by Jack?" Bernard said, defending himself. "I mean, he's not the president. He's a doctor!"

"You're a dentist," Rose stated. I covered my mouth as I chuckled, as did many others. Bernard stared at her, confused at her lack of support.

"Could I speak to you for just a second?" Bernard asked. He pulled Rose aside. Jin and Sun laughed a little, and then Sun walked away. Claire soon followed. Bernard came back, angrily, then cleared his throat and smiled. "Alright! I wanna get this going right away! We've waited long enough! Can people come with me now? I want to get started moving rocks." Several people walked away, but left me, Jin, Hurley and a few others. Bernard's smile faded a little, but popped back to life. "Okay. I'm gonna start, uh, recruiting a few others… you, uh… you do the same." He walked away. I looked to Hurley, then Jin, and chuckled a little.

* * *

I'd been working for at least two hours with the group of seven other people and Bernard. We'd been putting rocks in the ruts for what seemed like forever.

"Hurley!" Bernard yelled angrily. I dropped a rock down onto the sand, and wiped my forehead, looking across the beach at Bernard who was tromping angrily towards us.

"What?" Hurley panted, sweating three times more than me.

"Hurley, you ruined the letter!" Bernard yelled. I looked in the sand, where Hurley had stepped on the letter. "Now I have to do it all again!"

"Bernard, you can just retrace that section…" I offered.

"No! Hurley's huge feet ruined the letter, I have to retrace all of it!" He yelled. I looked up at Hurley. I knew he was trying to diet with Libby's help. He stood up straight and walked to Bernard.

"You know what, dude?" He asked. I walked to Hurley. "Forget it." Hurley walked away. I started to follow.

"Wait, no! You can't both go!" Bernard yelled.

"Bernard," I looked to him. "You have management issues." He looked like he knew it already, and I turned and walked away down the beach towards Hurley. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and stopped. "I've… I've actually lost a lot of weight…"

"I know," I said. "You've actually done very well." He looked to me and smiled a little, and we continued to walk back to camp.

"Wait, Carmen!" I heard behind me. I turned and saw Bernard chasing me down. I patted Hurley's shoulder and told him to go. I walked back to Bernard. "Carmen, I… I just want to get us out of here…"

"It's not going to work," I told him. He looked confused at my negativity. I walked closer to him. "When we first crashed here, I was part of a hike of seven people to make a transceiver work. It picked up another signal, from here on the island. It was this woman… a French woman. She's been on this island for over sixteen years." He looked at me, hopelessly. "It won't work." I started to turn away.

"I have to try!" Bernard yelled after me. I turned and looked at him.

"Good luck," I said, and walked after Hurley.

* * *

It was getting dark, and I decided to figure out what was going on at the hatch… I hadn't been in a couple days. When I got there, John and Ana were there alone. I sat on the couch by the computer and drifted off to sleep.

**Low key, but Bernard had a bad day!**


	42. Two for the Road

**I am SOO sorry it's been so long since I've written- I've just been very busy. Anyway, I left off at Two For the Road, so I hope you enjoy!!!**

As I avoided falling into a deep sleep, I began to regret what I said to Bernard… "It's not going to work…" I should've given the poor guy more hope. While I wallowed in my regrets, though, I closed my eyes and my chin slid down from the support of my palm as I drifted off.

* * *

I heard a plate crash against the tiled floor and I jerked awake. I looked around me, anxiously looking for the source, until I heard someone gasp. I turned to my left to see the armory door open, and John hurrying over on his crutches. I got up and bolted to the door, where "Henry" had Ana by the throat. I looked around for a weapon, and found nothing until Locke came. I grabbed the crutch out from under his arm and slammed the handle against the back of Henry's head. He rolled off Ana Lucia and fell to the floor while Ana sat up on his cot, holding her neck and catching her breath. John fell down to the cot next to her as I reached his crutch out to him and leaned against the armory wall.

"I guess he decided to start talkin, huh?" John asked. I looked nervously down at Henry, then picked up the plate from the ground. I started cleaning the floor as Ana and John walked out of the armory. After I wiped up the floor, I looked to see that Henry was beginning to stir. I stood up and stared at him a moment, angry at his sight. I walked out, then closed and locked the armory door behind me.

"He awake?" Ana asked. I turned to look at her, then looked down and shook my head.

"He's beginning to stir, but he's not awake yet," I looked up as she nodded, then walked into the bathroom. I walked the opposite way to the bedroom, and saw Locke's things on the bottom bunk. I climbed up to the top bunk and rested my hand on the pillow, letting myself fall into a deeper sleep.

* * *

When I woke up, Ana was gone and Locke was sitting at the computer, seeming to stare at the clock as it ran down. I went to the counter where there was a bowl of fruit and picked up some oranges. I peeled them and ate them. Locke came up next to me and looked to the armory.

"I wanna talk to him," He said. I put my last orange down and nodded. I walked over to the armory door and stood outside of the open door as John talked to Henry.

"If you've come to apologize, I forgive you for hitting me with your crutch," Henry said. "I'm so glad my head didn't break it."

"Actually, that was Carmen," Locke said. Henry looked around John to see me. I gave a friendly wave. "Why?"

"Now that's a broad question…" Henry commented.

"Why did you try to hurt Ana Lucia, but not me?" John asked. Henry hesitated.

"I'm not sure I know what you're getting at John…"

"I was trapped under that blast door, helpless. You could've crushed my skull, but you didn't do a thing. Why didn't you?" I looked past John to see Henry.

"Because you're one of the good ones, John."

"What? Good what?" John asked angrily.

"None of this matters, I'm dead anyway… the doctor's gone to make a trade, and we both know he'll come back empty-handed and then… I've lost my value. So either Jake comes back here and kills me, or my people find out where I'm being held and they do it," Henry regretted.

"Why would your own people wanna kill you?" John asked.

"Because the man in charge… he's a great man, John, a brilliant man... but he's not a forgiving man. He'll kill me because I failed, John… I failed my mission."

"What mission?" John asked. I curiously stepped inside the armory.

"When that woman caught me in her trap… I was on my way here, John. I was coming for you," Henry said, in an excitedly disappointed way.

"Locke!" I heard Kate yell from behind me. I stepped out of the armory to see Kate and Jack, carrying an exhausted Michael.

"Michael!" I yelled, running towards them.

"Locke!" Jack yelled. "Get the bunk ready." I ran ahead and pushed John's things off of the lower bunk, putting them on the table. I switched the pillows on the top and bottom bunks to give Michael a cleaner one as they rushed towards me. I helped Jack lie Michael down on his back on the bed.

"What happened? Did they make the trade?" I asked anxiously.

"Kate, get me a cold wash cloth... no, we just found him," Jack said, grabbing some of his medical supplies and examining Michael. Kate hurried out, and Jack lifted up Michael's eyelids as he tried to rouse him.

"Michael. Michael!" Jack said, trying to get some movement out of him. I sat at the foot of the bed, prepared to offer any help to Jack. John slowly entered the room on his crutches, perplexed.

"So it worked?" He asked.

"What are you talking about, John?" Jack replied, not bothering to look up from his work to acknowledge Locke's presence.

"Your deal. The trade. If they gave us Michael…"

"They didn't give us anything," Jack interrupted, getting up to get a wrap on the table for Michael. John skeptically followed him with his eyes as he walked back towards the bed.

"So… it was just a coincidence that he came wandering out?"

"I was shouting, he heard my voice," Jack said, providing his logic. John looked nervously doubtful out of the corner of his eye. Jack nearly chuckled at his suspicions. "What? They just let Michael go hoping we would keep up our end of the bargain? You think they're on the honor system?" Jack patronized. They locked eyes in clashing doubt as Kate walked in the room, breaking their focus. She was carrying a wet cloth in a small container.

"Hey," She said, trying to break the silence.

"Hey," Jack replied. He sat down next to Michael, keeping the peroxide handy. John turned around slowly, watching Michael as if he'd wake any second, then slowly hobbled away.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked. Jack turned around and looked at me, remembering my presence.

"Uh… his arm is dislocated… I'm going to set it while he's unconscious. Make it easier," He said. I nodded. After he set the arm, he held Michael up while I wrapped the sling around his shoulder. We sat down together, me and Jack, on the couch by the armory, waiting for Michael to wake.

"What do you think happened?" I asked. Jack shook his head.

"I don't know… if he escaped from somewhere, I think we would've been attacked by now," He said. I nodded in agreement.

"What if he was never captured?" I asked.

"Well… something happened," he said. We sat silently for a few moments, letting our anxieties settle. "He say anything?" Jack asked. "Henry?"

"Oh," I realized, "No… well, yes. He said something to Locke about him being… a good one?" Jack furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "There was something else, but it was right as you were bringing in Michael, and I can't remember. Sorry." He shook his head to express his lack of care for my missing information, which I felt was important. A beep came from the overhead speakers, and I rubbed my forehead in annoyance. I stood up and walked to the computer, carefully entering the numbers. After I hit execute, I sat in the wheeled chair and leaned my head on my arms, falling asleep on the desk.

* * *

When I woke up, no one was sitting in the main room. Michael was lying on his bed, still sleeping, with Kate sitting beside him. John was standing over me, eyebrows raised.

"You gonna get that?" He asked. I realized the beeping was sounding. I looked to the clock to see it flip from 3:09 to 3:08. I rubbed my eyes, then entered the numbers and watched the clock flip back to 108. John smiled at me. "Go on back to the beach, Carmen, you've been here long enough." I smiled and nodded.

"Come and get me when Michael wakes up, though," I requested. He nodded. I got up and walked out of the hatch, grabbing my small pack along the way.

* * *

"What are you reading?" I called up the beach to Sawyer, who was holding a stack of papers in his hand. He looked up quickly, then smiled as I approached him, my hair still wet from my quick swim in the ocean.

"It's a manuscript. Hurley gave it to me... it's pretty good. Piggy's got some taste," He smiled.

"Piggy? Really?" I asked, smacking him on the back of the head. He just laughed. I looked up, and Jack, Kate and John walked forward. "Hey, how's Michael doing?" I asked.

"He woke up," John said.

"When? You said you'd tell me," I asked.

"I'm telling you now," John replied, shrugging. I dismissed it with a small laugh.

"Sawyer, put the book down," Jack demanded. I looked to Jack, noticing for the first time that he was nearly fuming with anger.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's not a book, it's a manuscript. I'm about to be the first and only guy to find out who done it," He smiled. He paused, thinking Jack might walk away. "I think I've got it figured out… so cool your damn jets, and walk around the coconut trees; I've got, like, ten pages left…" Jack snatched the pages out of Sawyer's hands. "Hey!" Jack ripped out the final pages Sawyer had yet to read and held them in the air.

"You wanna figure it out?" Jack asked. He then reached them down and dropped them in a nearby fire. I quickly moved past him, and Sawyer threw off his glasses as we tried to fish out his last ten pages, giving ourselves small burns as we did.

"The hell is your problem, doc?!" Sawyer yelled, angrily, approaching him.

"It's time to give us the guns back," Jack said, revealing his plan. Sawyer chuckled a little at his logic.

"You burn the ending of my book, and now you want me…"

"Where are they, James?" John asked. Sawyer looked to him, frustrated at being cornered.

"You too, Brutus?"

"Just take us there, Sawyer, alright? Quit playin' around," Kate demanded. Sawyer almost looked disgusted at her.

"What, did you bring her along for a sympathy vote? She ain't in my head, doc!" He said, turning to Kate. "Why don't you two just go play in the jungle, huh?" I looked as Jack pulled a gun out of the back of his jeans.

"Jack!" I yelled as he aimed it at Sawyer. Sawyer looked at Jack, a blank expression on his face.

"Take us to the guns. Now." Sawyer looked angry, and reached behind his back to grab his gun. However, his hand returned empty as a confused look wiped over his face. As he suddenly understood the location of his gun…

"Uh, that bitch," Sawyer griped. "She stole my damn gun. Ana Lucia." We were all confused.

"Why would she need a gun?" Jack asked, still holding the gun on Sawyer. As Sawyer griped, I thought.

"Where is she now?" I asked.

"The hatch…" Jack contemplated.

"Jack…" John started.

"Henry!" I yelled, figuring it out. Jack looked to me. "He attacked her earlier!" I looked to John. "Didn't you tell him?" He shook his head and wiped his forehead.

"John?" Jack asked, lowering his gun. We all looked to him.

"I think we need to go to the hatch," he said, turning around. We hurried to the tree line together, Jack and I leading the way to the hatch. Most of the trip was silently torturous. Sawyer caught up to me and was walking right next to me.

"I'm sorry about your manuscript," I said. He shook his head.

"It was predictable, anyway," He said, trying to shrug off his disappointment.

**I'll try to write again soon… from me to you, happy holidays!!!**


	43. Question Mark ?

**Merry Christmas, everyone! Guess what I got?? The big season five Dharma orientation kit!! I haven't watched all of the unseen orientations yet, but that's because I need to find an operating VCR somewhere on the East coast… well, wish me luck. Here's "?"**

"What were you thinking, John?" Jack asked, not turning to look past me to face him.

"Jack, leave him alone," Kate interrupted from the back of the line.

"No, Jack, don't leave him alone," Sawyer demanded as he turned to see all of us behind him.

"Shut it, Sawyer," Jack rudely interjected, "If Ana hadn't lifted your gun, we wouldn't even have to be in…"

"Well ain't that swell!" Sawyer called, stopping to face Jack. "Gimpy McCrutch over here covers up that the artist formerly known as Henry Gale tried to strangle your little amiga, and suddenly it's on me when she goes vigilante," He continued as Jack passed him and he walked beside me. Jack suddenly stopped and turned around, standing directly in Sawyer's face.

"How 'bout you go back to the beach?" Jack demanded more than asked.

"Hey! Enough, both of you," Kate said, pushing past me and between Jack and Sawyer. We continued walking, but only made it a few steps before the door to the hatch opened, and a gasping Michael fell to the ground.

"Michael… hey!" Jack called, hurrying to his side. I ran up next to him, pushing past Kate and Sawyer, and saw he was holding a bloody shoulder.

"He shot me!" Michael said in surprise. I looked into Michael's face as a few tears rushed out of his eyes.

"Who?" Jack asked quickly.

"He's gone! He ran out!" Michael continued. Henry…

"Go!" Jack cried. I stood up as Kate and John hurried past me, but hesitated for a second. "I got him," Jack continued, pushing me towards the door. I ran in ahead of Sawyer, and passed Locke on my way in. Sawyer ran up to my side, and we both passed Kate. We walked through the computer room, then saw… Ana was sitting on the couch next to the armory, blood spilling from her mouth and a dark red stain on her black tank top. I turned to the left to see Libby on the ground, holding a blanket with two bullet holes in it and blood staining her shirt. The armory door was open, and I ran to it, hoping he wouldn't be… but he was… gone. I ran to Libby's side, where Sawyer was holding her arm. I shook my head in disbelief, then turned to see Jack come in with Michael and Mr. Eko. I shook my head at him in frightened sadness as he sat Michael down at the table.

"She's dead," Kate said. I completely forgot to check Libby's pulse, so I reached down and checked her neck. I thought I felt a beat...

"Jack…" I started. I leaned forward, trying to get a better feel. In a second, Libby gasped, spurting blood all over my face, neck and arms. I did feel a pulse. "Oh, Jack… Jack, help," I called. He came over quickly, and with Sawyer's help, they moved her to the bottom bunk in the bedroom. I watched them leave and felt the tears welling up in my chest. I let out a small gasp of breath in my horror. Kate came to me and grabbed my hand.

"Carmen… your face," She said. I raised my hand to my cheek, where I realized Libby's blood was still lying. I hurried to the bathroom and washed my face and neck, but realized the blood was on my shirt. I'd have to deal with that until the next chance I had to return to the beach. When I came back out, Eko had already taken Ana's body and laid it in the armory. I looked down at the floor where a small puddle of blood laid where Libby was. I started to walk towards the bedroom, but then stopped, hesitant to want to help. The last time someone was this conscious while they were in this much pain was when the sky marshal died… when I held his hand while Jack strangled him… I couldn't walk in there and hold Libby's hand while she bled to death. I backed up and leaned against the wall next to the washing machine, looking to my left to see Michael, looking down at the floor and holding his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, concerned about everything going on. He looked up, and nodded, almost being able to feign a smile. I turned to see Jack coming out of the bedroom, wiping his hands with a towel.

"How is she?" Michael asked. Jack shook his head as he looked to me.

"I'm doing what I can," He said, looking back to Michael. He looked at the ground, obviously upset that he hadn't stopped Henry from shooting her. "How long ago?" Jack asked.

"What?" Michael asked, tears welling in his throat.

"When did this happen? How long ago did he leave?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, uh… twenty minutes, maybe a… half hour ago," Michael replied. Jack turned and walked past Sawyer.

"We can pick up the trail, catch up to him…" Jack thought. Sawyer turned around to face him, seemingly angry at Jack's idea. I stepped away from the wall and leaned against the counter.

"Man's got a head start, a gun, and he ain't afraid to…" Sawyer started. Jack turned around, adamantly pissed.

"He shot three of our people! One of 'em is dead, one of 'em…"

"Who's gonna take care of Libby while you're off playing Daniel Boone?" Sawyer angrily asked. Jack slowed his anger. Eko slowly stepped forward.

"I will go," He said. I looked up, then over to Jack to see his reaction. "John, you have tracking experience, yes?" He asked. John looked down at his crutches, then back up at Eko.

"Yeah," He replied, unsure of Eko's intentions.

"We will find this trail together," Eko calmly offered. Jack still looked steamed, but it was the only reasonable solution of the two provided.

"You find anything, anything, you come right back here, and we figure out what we're gonna do next together," Jack demanded. John nodded in agreement, and the two went out to find a trail that I knew Henry wouldn't leave. I sat down opposite Michael at the table and leaned my head on my palm, knowing the next few hours would be long and wearisome.

* * *

Jack wondered anxiously around the kitchen, then walked towards me, looking down the hall towards the exit.

"The hell are they?" Jack asked himself.

"Just… calm down," Kate instructed, leaning on the counter. "Finding his trail in the dark is not gonna be easy. They'll be back."

"Jack," Michael asked after a moment. I looked over at him from my position on the ping pong table. "She say anything?" I looked down the hall towards the bedroom, where Libby laid, unconscious. Jack shook his head as he washed his hands.

"She's still unconscious. The bleeding stopped," He said, drying his hands with a nearby towel. Kate looked at him hopefully.

"That's good, right?" She asked. I brought my legs up onto the table and folded them.

"No," Jack said, looking regretfully down to the bedroom, then back at his hands, "That's not good."

"And there's nothing you can…"

"I can make her comfortable," Jack quickly replied to Michael. "But I don't have what I need," he continued, looking up to Sawyer.

"Why are you looking at me? I gave you all the damn meds two days ago…" Sawyer started, but I interrupted, knowing what Jack wanted.

"The heroin, Sawyer," I said. Everyone looked to me, somehow shocked that I wasn't innocent enough to be unaware of what was going on around me. Sawyer stood up.

"Gimme twenty minutes," He said, starting to walk towards me and the exit.

"Kate's gonna go with you," Jack said. Sawyer quickly stopped him.

"Doesn't take two people to carry…"

"Kate is going with you," Jack stated. Sawyer looked up at Jack in a tortured, angry way. I looked down at my lap, knowing Jack's angle, and thinking it was cruel.

"What are you talkin' about? Why would he need me to go with him to…" Kate started, still confused.

"Jack-o here knows his heroin's in my stash, with the guns. So, I can either show you where it's at, or let poor Libby suffer," Sawyer said. Kate looked at Jack, shocked at his intentions. Jack didn't look up from the counter. "That pretty much it, doc?"

"Yeah," Jack said, looking up and coming over towards Sawyer. "That's pretty much it." Sawyer looked angrily at Jack. I could see in his eyes that he almost wanted to be that bad a person; he almost wanted to let Libby suffer so that Jack wouldn't get his guns. But even he couldn't sink that low. Jack cornered him.

"Let's go, freckles," He said as he stormed out. Kate stood in the middle of the room, torn between Jack and Sawyer, as Jack walked into the bedroom and Sawyer walked out of the hatch. She quickly chased after Sawyer, and I looked down at my feet. I got up after a moment of silence and walked into the bedroom where Jack was sitting, looking at Libby. I leaned against the frame of the bed.

"That was cruel," I said. Jack didn't look up at me, or even reply. "You gave him a choice between giving up what he's worked for and letting a woman suffer a long, painful death," I continued. He still didn't acknowledge me. I shook my head and walked towards him. "You can't say that Sawyer is worse than you," I said, "because you just proved that you're willing to risk a suffering woman's pain for a prize." He looked up at me, a look of shame and misunderstanding on his face. I walked away, going to the computer room to sit on the couch that was not stained with the blood of a woman who only wanted to protect us. Michael moved and stood by me. I thought he might want to talk, but he didn't have anything to say. Neither did I. Sawyer and Kate soon returned, holding a statue of the Virgin Mary. I stood up to greet them, and saw Hurley walk in shortly behind them. I stopped in my tracks, remembering in sadness that they were together.

"Oh… Hurley," I softly cried. Jack came out of the bedroom, and took the statue from Sawyer's hand. Hurley turned around and sat on the couch I had just risen from. I watched Jack as he sat down at the table and cracked open the statue. I walked into the bedroom as Jack prepared the heroin. Libby was unconscious still. I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her blond hair for a few minutes, until Jack came in with the heroin in a syringe. I stood up and stood behind Jack as he injected the heroin into her arm. I turned around to see Hurley waiting patiently outside the room.

"Can… can I talk to her?" Hurley asked. I tried to feign a smile as I nodded, but couldn't. Jack got up and stood back with me as Hurley knelt down next to Libby. He grabbed her hand, and looked at her face as the heroin kicked in. "Hey," He started, "It's Hurley… Hugo." He suddenly burst into tears, as the tears in my chest slowly began to surface. "I'm sorry I forgot the blankets… I'm sorry I forgot the blankets… Libby?" I looked over to see her eyes were open. Jack and I stepped forward. I knelt down next to Hurley on his right as Jack leaned over her. She struggled to speak, but was able to get a word out.

"Michael…" Jack smiled.

"Michael? He's okay. He made it, Libby, it's okay, he's alright…" Jack tried to encourage her, but she began to panic.

"Jack…" I nervously wondered.

"It's the heroin," He reminded me. She silenced, and didn't move… ever again. Jack closed her eyelids as tears poured past mine. Hurley bowed his head over Libby's hand, and I held his elbow and cried on his shoulder in caring support.

"Hurley… I'm so sorry, I'm so… oh, Hurley, I'm sorry," I struggled to get out. He sat up and turned and threw his arms around me, and I did the same to him. We cried on each others' shoulders, desperate to find some positive thing to think of, but unable to find anything. "I'm so sorry, Hurley," was all that was said. Nothing needed to be said… Henry killed her. He killed her.

**DEPRESSING!!! Well, happy holidays, anyway! I'll try to write again tomorrow!**


	44. Three Minutes

**Okay, I'm going to go ahead and finish season two today, so I hope you enjoy! Here's Three Minutes!!**

I walked out into the main room, where Sawyer was standing next to Kate. We were all silent for a few moments. Hurley walked out of the bedroom and past me and the others to the couch in the computer room, where he silently sat down. I looked back at the bedroom, then to Sawyer.

"We should get the bodies… put them together on the floor," I said. Sawyer nodded, walking with purpose to the bedroom. I looked to Kate, and she got up. We walked to the armory: I grabbed Ana's limp shoulders as Kate grabbed her legs.

"Ready?" She asked. I nodded. "One, two, three," She said, as we hoisted her up. We carried her to the bedroom, where we laid her down on the floor next to Libby. Sawyer was standing thoughtfully in the corner. We all got up and went into the main room, where Jack, Michael, and Hurley stood. I walked across the room and stood next to Hurley, wanting to provide all the support I could for him.

"We're going to have to go after them, like Michael said," Jack noted, pacing thoughtfully in a small circle. "How many guns do we have?" Jack asked. Sawyer looked up, not answering. "How many?"

"Rifles and pistols, eleven total," He answered.

"That's it?" Jack replied.

"That's it. In case you forgot, they took five of 'em right off us," Sawyer reminded us. I thought back to that night, where I couldn't see anything from the bag over my head, until I could see him. He saved me yet again that night.

"How long would it take us to get to their camp?" Jack asked, approaching Michael.

"We leave now, move fast? Middle of the night tomorrow," He answered, excited and prepared. "Look, they have no idea I know where they are. They won't be expecting us. So we get the guns, and we go! Right now, just the six of us!"

"No, six is not enough. You said there's at least twenty of them, they've got our guns, and we're not even sure if what you saw was…" Jack started.

"Hey, I know what I saw! We take too many people, they'll hear us coming! I'm not taking a damn army across the island, Jack," Michael insisted.

"You sure you're in the best place to be making decisions for all of us right now," Jack suggested.

"You got a son, Jack?" Michael started.

"They're dead!" Hurley yelled. I looked up and over at him. Everyone was silent. "Ana Lucia and Libby are dead. I mean, we haven't even buried 'em yet." I raised my hand and rubbed Hurley's shoulder, wanting to comfort him.

"Jack, he's right," I said, looking up at him. Jack approached Hurley and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Me and you will take Libby, okay?" Jack offered. Hurley walked away from us both towards Libby's body. "Can you?" He asked, looking to Kate.

"Yeah, 'course," She said, walking to Ana's body.

"Sawyer, would you?" Jack looked to him. Sawyer started to move in the same direction that Kate did.

"Yeah."

"You should stay here," Jack said to Michael. "We'll bury them tonight… then we'll figure out what's next." Jack walked off to help Hurley. I turned around and headed out of the hatch. When I had gone through the door, I walked a few steps, then leaned against a tree. The night was so long: Ana was dead, Libby had died, Henry was gone. I was almost too afraid to walk through the jungle alone. I stood up and walked briskly back to the beach, wanting to be back before anything could happen. When I reached the soft sand, I felt instantly soothed. I walked across the beach to my tent and sat down on my bed. I wanted to go to sleep, but I looked down and realized my shirt was still wet and stained from Libby's blood. I quickly threw it off, and lay down for a moment in nothing but my jeans and bra, desperate for a moment of sleep. I sat up, though, fighting off the tempting nap. I looked through the bag that was under my bed and grabbed a blue tank top. I put it on, then walked out of the tent to see everyone rushing towards Michael and Jack. I walked past them to see Kate, Sawyer and Hurley standing by the bodies. I hurried over and helped them dig for a while. I looked up after about ten minutes to see Kate digging furiously, and Hurley digging, staring sadly off into the distance as he shoveled small amounts of dirt out of the hole. I put my shovel down, and looked to Kate. She looked up, and I directed her attention to Hurley. She nodded, understanding my intentions.

"Hurley," I said. He snapped out of his trance and looked at me. "Hurley, why don't you take a break?" I offered. He looked back down into the sand.

"I'm fine," He said. I grabbed his shovel and put it next to mine.

"Come on," I said. I got out of my hole, and reached my hand out for his. He grabbed it and got out of the hole. We started to walk back towards the small kitchen that had been assembled.

"Where are we going?" Hurley asked, seeming to not really care.

"We need to get some food…"

"I'm not hungry," He said, stopping in his tracks. I closed my eyes and sighed, then turned around to face him.

"Hurley, I know you're upset," I said, grabbing his hands, "but you need to eat." He looked up at me as if he were about to say something snide, but looked back down, and allowed me to take him to the kitchen. I gave him an orange, and watched as he slowly peeled it and ate a few slices. I got an orange myself, but peeled it quickly, and ate the entire orange before he'd eaten half of his. Sayid walked over to me, smiling. I frowned back.

"What is wrong?" He asked, seeing me and Hurley together. I patted Hurley on the shoulder.

"Take a break. Get some sleep, or something," I suggested. I grabbed Sayid's arm and pulled him to the side.

"Henry's gone," I told him. Sayid's smile disappeared. "He got a gun, somehow, shot Ana Lucia, Libby, and Michael… and he ran off." Sayid was furious. He looked past me. I turned around to see Jack and Sawyer walking with guns in their packs out of Sawyer's tent. When I turned back around to see Sayid, he was walking towards them. "Wait!" I called after him, chasing him down.

"Is it true?" He asked them. "Henry's gone?"

"Yeah," Jack slowly answered.

"Who's going after him?" Sayid asked quickly.

"Locke and Eko went out in the middle of the night…"

"But we ain't seen either of them since," Sawyer interrupted Jack.

"Those are the guns, aren't they?" Sayid asked. "What are you doing with them?"

"What do you think we're doin'?" Sawyer interrupted, stopping to talk to him. Jack and I stopped as well. "It's time to finish this."

"When do we leave?" Sayid asked.

"The morning," Sawyer answered.

"You're not comin', Sayid," Jack intervened. I looked to Jack, questioning his idea.

"Excuse me?" He asked angrily.

"Michael wants to keep it small," Jack answered. "Me, Kate, Hurley, Carmen and him," He said, pointing to Sawyer.

"Yeah, well 'him' says even though Pippy Long-Stocking and the damn Grape Ape are ideal candidates for the dirty dozen, I'm just gonna say, we might wanna bring the red beret," Sawyer suggested. Sawyer had never sided with Sayid before. This was weird, but I kind of liked it.

"Seriously, Jack, Sayid's more fit to go than me or Hurley. He should take our place…" I started.

"It's Michael's call!" Jack said. "He knows where we're going," He said, walking away.

"It is not his call, Jack," Sayid said, "It's ours." Sawyer pulled his gun out of his jeans and offered it to Sayid.

"Welcome aboard," Sawyer said as Sayid held the gun. Sawyer walked away as Sayid and Jack stared each other down. I chased after Sawyer.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked him. He stopped and turned to me.

"Don't you think Ahmed is more fit than Hugo, the witless wonder? I'm not saying you should be out," He said to me, "I'm just saying he should be in." He walked on as I stood in one place, watching him leave.

* * *

The holes were deeper than I thought. I continued to dig a hole with Hurley until Michael came up.

"Jack fill you in on the plan?" Michael asked us. I shook my head and wiped my brow.

"What plan?" Kate asked.

"We're leaving first thing tomorrow," He replied. I looked down, then back up at him. "Back across the island to their camp."

"Okay," Kate answered, continuing to dig. I wanted to ask about Sayid going.

"What about you, man, you comin' with us?" Michael asked Hurley. Hurley stopped digging and looked up at Michael.

"Why would I wanna go?" He asked.

"Because they killed her," Michael said harshly.

"Michael," Kate said, stopping him. "Come on."

"What do you say, Hugo?" He asked.

"I'm sorry about Walt, dude… but I'm not comin'," He said, continuing to dig.

"You're sorry about…"

"Michael!" Kate yelled, making him stop. After a moment, I looked up.

"I don't think I'm coming, either," I said. Michael looked up furiously.

"What?"

"Sayid's here. He can handle a gun much better than I can…"

"Sayid's not comin'," He said. I looked up, stopping shoveling.

"Why not?" I asked. "Why is Sayid so unfit to go?"

"Carmen… he's lookin' for revenge. I'm lookin' for Walt. If he comes, he'll mess it up. This has gotta happen my way," He said. "Sayid's not coming. That said, are you in or out?" I looked down. I thought for a second. Michael was angry, and afraid for his son. He was right next to being able to find his son, but he came back for us. I looked up and nodded.

"Good," He said.

* * *

"Ana Lucia Cortez," Jack started as we stood around the graves, "Before we crashed, she was a police officer. I don't think it was easy for her being here, but I think she did the best she could. She was a woman of few words, and… I'm gonna follow her example. Rest in peace, Ana." I stood next to Hurley, thinking about Ana: she hit me, threw me into a pit, would have left Sawyer to die, killed Shannon, tied up Sayid… she was terrible to me. Yet, here I was, crying over her remains at her funeral. It's weird how things work out on this island. Hurley stepped forward. He started to say something, but choked on his words. I stepped up next to him and put my hand on his back, comforting him.

"Libby was a… she was… she… Libby was a psychologist… or psychiatrist. One of those… either way, she's probably helped a lot of people. She helped me," He said, speaking through his tears. Tears streamed down my cheeks. "She was my friend. It's not fair that this happened to her, it's not." He turned around suddenly. I looked behind us to see Michael. "I'm going with you," He said. I rubbed Hurley's back. "Goodbye, Libby," He cried. I held his hand while I looked down at the graves, thinking about all that was to come, and all that happened.

"Boat," Sun whispered. I looked up at her, as did the rest of the camp. "Boat!" She yelled, pointing out at the ocean. I looked around Hurley to see a white sailboat floating out on the water. I walked forward in shock, staring at it's sails.

**OOOHH... I'm gonna go eat lunch, then I'll write the finale!!!**


	45. Live Together, Die Alone

**Alright, let's finish season two! Here's Live Together, Die Alone.**

"Hey!" I screamed. Others around me tried to get the attention of someone on the boat. I ran forward, looking out at the water. I shaded my eyes and looked for someone on the boat.

"Maybe it's a trap," Charlie suggested.

"What do you mean, a trap?" Hurley asked.

"Raft," Jin said. I nodded. I shaded my eyes and watched as Jack, Sayid and Sawyer swam out and climbed aboard the ship. They all disappeared inside of the ship. When they came out, they had a fourth person with them.

"Who's that?" Hurley asked.

"I don't know," I replied.

* * *

"Well, who is he?"

"He's from the hatch, I already said that!" Kate yelled.

"Well why is he here?"

"Where did he come from?"

"Who cares where he came from, where did he get the boat?"

I pushed through the crowd of frantic people and sat on the counter we made for the kitchen. I looked across the beach to see this man, Desmond, drinking from a bottle of red wine. Jack knelt next to him and talked to him for a moment, then walked off.

"Why would he come back?" The Frogurt guy asked. "Why the hell would you come back if you could get off this rock!" I looked back over at Desmond.

"I don't think he tried to come back, Frogurt,"I said as I stood up.

"It's Neil!" He called after me as I walked towards him. I stood beside Desmond. He didn't look up at me. I grabbed the bottle out of his hand and sat down across from him.

"Oy," He said, griping about his bottle. I looked down, then back up at him, motioning to the bottle in request for a sip. He waved his hand. I disregarded any possibility of getting sick and took a swig of the strong, flat wine. It tasted like it would only be good for cooking, or getting drunk if you were desperate. I handed the bottle back to him, careful to show that I didn't find the wine somewhat disgusting.

"So… who are you?" I asked. He smiled, and laughed a little, dropping his head back, then pulling it up again.

"I'm the bloody fool who pushed a button for three sodding years of his life, thinking he was saving the world," He said. He had a heavy accent.

"Where are you from?" I asked. He looked up at me, then back down at his bottle.

"Scotland," He said, taking another swig of his bottle. I chuckled.

"Funny. By the way you've been drinking, I would've guessed Irish," I said. He smiled cutely and laughed. He looked up at me, still smiling, and reached his hand out across the fire.

"Desmond," He said, introducing himself. I grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly.

"Carmen." He leaned back against his tree as I pulled my leg to my chest. "So… how did you get here?"

"I walked on the water," He said, drinking more wine. I looked up at him curiously. "I'm Jesus." I laughed.

"I saw the boat, I meant… how did you find the island?" His smile faded.

"I dunno," He said. "I was caught up in a storm, and... well, I guess I passed out. When I woke up… I was here." I nodded.

"Then you found the hatch?" I asked. He shook his head, taking another drink.

"No… the man in it found me," He replied. I leaned forward.

"There was another man in the hatch?" I asked. He looked up at me seriously. "Where is he now?" He shook his head.

"He's dead." He looked down at his bottle, then gulped down the last few sips, dropping the bottle at his side. I nodded. "So what about you?" He asked. I laughed and shook my head.

"What about me?" I asked. He smiled again.

"Where were you? When they found me?" He asked. I nodded. I didn't know if I should tell him about the others. I looked up into his face. His eyes seemed genuinely interested, and I felt like I could trust him. Then again, I thought I could trust Henry, too.

"I was on a raft," I said, deciding to trust him, "trying to find everyone rescue." His smile sort of faded.

"It didn't work?" He said. I shook my head.

"If it did, would I still be on this island, talking with a drunk Scot in front of a dying fire?" I asked, laughing. He laughed as well.

"Well, that depends on what you like to do in your spare time," He answered. I laughed a little louder. "So what happened to your raft, then?" I shook my head.

"Um… these people… we call them 'others'… they found us, and… blew it up," I said. His eyes got big. He stood up. "Where you going?" I asked. He picked up a second bottle and slammed the neck of it against the tree. He then poured the wine into the other bottle.

"Sounds like you are in need of a good drink," He said. I laughed, taking the bottle from his hands as he sat down and taking a good sip. This wine was better, since he had just opened it. I handed the bottle back to him.

"Thanks," I said. He took a good sip. I looked around me. Most everyone else was going to bed. "Oh, God."

"What?" He asked. I looked at him, and at the bottle. It was already half empty. I laughed.

"I, um… I was going to offer you my tent," I said. He laughed.

"That was fast," He laughed, drinking more. I laughed.

"Not like that! I just… I'm leaving in the morning to go on a trip with some other people. We're going to find the others," I said. His smile faded.

"So… you're going to find the people who blew up your raft," He asked. I smiled.

"Um… yeah. It's not that simple, but yeah." He nodded. "I thought that, since you're going to be here with us, you'd make yourself a tent, but until you do that, you can use mine. It has two airplane seats, so it's kind of like a full size mattress," I laughed. He chuckled too, after taking another swig of his wine. He dropped the bottle down at his feet. "Did you drink all of that?" I asked. He laughed. "Okay, time for bed," I said. I got up and walked around to him, helping him up.

"I'm fine, I'm not that drunk," He said. He stumbled, and almost fell into the fire. I grabbed him and pulled him up with a laugh, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and helping him towards my tent.

"Not that drunk, huh?" I asked, laughing, as we slowly walked.

"Alright… maybe I am that drunk," He laughed with me. We slowly walked into my tent, and I dropped him on my bed.

"Okay, here we go," I said, pulling his legs up onto the bed.

"Thanks," Desmond said quietly. I looked up at his face that was lying on the seat. His eyes were already closed.

"Don't think of mentioning it," I smiled. I let him be and walked over to my table and picked up my hairbrush. I pulled the ponytail holder out of my hair and brushed through it. I turned around to see Desmond asleep. I smiled, and then put my hairbrush down. I grabbed an airplane blanket and put it over him, tucking it in around his side. I laid down next to him, my shoes still on, facing away from him, and slowly fell asleep.

* * *

"Hey, whoa," Hurley said. I sat up, still groggy.

"What?" I asked.

"Uh," Hurley looked next to me. I turned to see Desmond, stretched out and dead asleep. I laughed quietly.

"I just let him sleep here last night, Hurley. Nothing to worry about," I said. Hurley nodded.

"Oh… okay," He said. I smiled, wondering what he originally came in for. "Oh, dude, we gotta go soon," He remembered. I rubbed my eyes and nodded.

"Okay… thanks," I said as he left. I got up and brushed through my hair, throwing it up in a ponytail. I grabbed my Northface backpack and stuffed it with clothes, my hairbrush and an airplane blanket. I stood up, putting it on my back. I looked at Desmond, who rolled over, throwing his arm where my face used to be. I smiled. "See ya." I left the tent and walked to the kitchen, where I grabbed some Dharma protein bars, a full water bottle and some fruit, putting them in my pack. I walked over to where Jack, Michael, Hurley and Sawyer were standing in a circle. I put my pack back on as Jack handed me a gun. I put it in the back of my pants in the small of my back, like Sawyer would.

"Dude, that's where Sawyer puts his gun," Hurley noted.

"Where do you think I learned to shoot?" I asked with a smile. Hurley looked confused as Jack offered him a gun and Kate walked up.

"No way… if I take it I'm gonna kill someone," He said.

"Ain't that the point?" Sawyer asked.

"I thought the point was to get Walt back," Hurley noted. I smiled.

"Just leave him, it's better that he doesn't have one if he doesn't know how to shoot," I said. Jack gave Kate the gun.

"What's the matter?" He asked her.

"All that stuff we found in the medical station… costumes, make up, fake beards…" Kate said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"What if these people just want us to think they're hillbillies?" Kate wondered.

"Listen… listen, I was there! I saw them! They are hillbillies! They live in huts, they eat fish, they're probably more scared than we are. And they have no idea we're on our way," Michael said.

"Alright… 'nough jibber jabber. Let's roll," Sawyer said, walking forward across the beach.

"Oy!" I heard behind me. I turned around to see Desmond running towards me. "Where you going?" He asked. I smiled.

"I, uh… told you last night, remember?" I asked him. He looked confused. "I'm going to find the others…"

"Oh, right… sorry," He said, shaking his head. I smiled.

"I'll see ya," I said, patting him on the shoulder. I started walking off, catching up to Hurley.

"Be careful, mate!" He yelled after me. I turned around, smiling.

"Will do, boss," I called back. I turned back around and walked next to Hurley.

"You sure nothing happened last night?" He asked me. I looked to him and smiled, laughing.

"Yeah… yeah, Hurley, I'm sure."

* * *

We walked carefully through the jungle, looking for any traps set by Rousseau or the Others, and listening for any hints of life around us. Personally, I was listening for any whispers. Hurley walked up next to me, crushing leaves and sticks in his stride.

"So, uh," He started, "How did you learn to use a gun?" I smiled and chuckled a little.

"Um… experience," I said. He shook his head.

"Experience?"

"Um, yeah, back in Sydney," I said.

"But you said Sawyer taught you," He said. I nodded.

"He did," I replied.

"So… you knew Sawyer before the crash?" He asked me. I looked up at him and nodded.

"Yeah… I thought you knew that," I said. He shook his head. We continued walking forward.

"So, uh… what… experience are you referring to?" He asked. I chuckled again, looking back at Sawyer who was walking behind me.

"Um… well, Sawyer was in trouble. I didn't know him then, but I tried to defend him, and… got too involved," I said, trying to glaze over my kidnapping. "He had to teach me how to use a gun so I could defend myself. Defend my life." Hurley nodded.

"Did you… kill anyone?" He asked. I slowed down a little, then picked up my pace. "Carmen?" He asked. I didn't answer him though. I just kept walking ahead. The clearing ended and we walked back into a thick section of the jungle, where the only light would be seen jumping through the spaces in the canopy above us. We heard some twigs breaking ahead of us. Jack jumped back, extending his arms as if to warn us. I pulled the gun out of the back of my jeans and stood back near Hurley in order to protect him. I looked around frantically, looking for the source. I looked up when I heard something screech, and a large bird swooped down towards me. I ducked as it went overheard, then heard an empty gun clicking as it tried to fire.

"That bird just say my name?" Hurley asked. Sawyer looked thoughtfully at him.

"Yeah, it did. Right before it crapped gold," He said, resting his rifle on his shoulder. I reached my gun back behind my back and put it in my jeans as Jack realized he didn't load Micheal's gun, and loaded the magazine.

* * *

I ate my apple by the fire. Sawyer approached me and offered me a Dharma protein bar.

"You want it?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"No, I'm good, I've got food. Thanks, though," I said. He sat down next to me.

"Hurley didn't want," He said. I looked over at Hurley. He was staring into the fire blankly. "I'm just worried about him."

"You know… he was really close to Libby," I reminded him.

"I know, it's just… feel bad for 'im," He said. I smiled.

"I think it's sweet that you care so much," I said. He smiled.

"What were you two talking about earlier?" He asked.

"Who? Me and Hurley?" I asked.

"Yeah," He said. I smiled.

"He wanted to know how I learned to use a gun," I said. Sawyer looked down at me.

"So what'd you tell him?" He asked. I smiled.

"How I learned," I said.

"You told him?" He asked, shocked.

"Not everything, no. Just that you were in trouble, I interfered, and, to save my life, you taught me to shoot anyone I needed to," I said. Sawyer nodded.

"So… guess he knows we knew each other before the crash," He said, looking into the fire. I looked to him, almost surprised he said that.

"Yeah. So?" I asked. Sawyer shook his head.

"So nothing, I just… didn't think you wanted people to know," He said. I put my apple down.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked. He looked at me square in the eye.

"Because back home, you were like me, or Kate," He said, "on the run, looking for something you couldn't find, and doing things no one your age should have to do." I frowned and sat up. "I thought that you might want to start fresh here, I guess." I looked down at the fire.

"Well, I haven't really," I said. He looked to me, not sure at what I was getting at. "I was kidnapped, shot at, held hostage… it's not like I've been so innocent here," I said. He nodded.

"Okay, then," He said. I nodded. He got up eventually to go sleep over by Hurley, and I went and sat next to Kate.

"So, this morning," I said to her, "you were talking about the stuff you found at the medical station?" She nodded. "You found fake beards, and costumes?" She nodded. "Then… I mean… I think it's pretty obvious that we shouldn't…"

"I know, I'm thinking the same thing," She said. I leaned in closer to her.

"Then why are we both out here?" I asked. She shook her head.

"I don't know. I wanna trust Michael, I just… a part of me can't," She said. I nodded in concurrence.

"Same here." We sat in silence together. I looked over at Michael, who was lying on his side, asleep.

"Just stay on your toes," Kate said, looking at Michael. "If something's up, it'll happen soon. Don't let your guard down." I nodded. After a while, I asked her if she thought I should go to sleep, and she insisted on it. I laid down close to her and drifted off, afraid of what might be there to awaken me.

* * *

I was in the back of the line, almost waiting for some other to grab me and take me. I walked ahead and caught up to Jack.

"Jack," I called to get his attention, "don't you think something is suspicious here?"

"What are you talkin' about?" He asked, looking ahead of him. We passed Sawyer and Kate, who was tying her shoe as I looked at his expression.

"You know something, don't you?" I asked. He frowned a little, and looked nervously at me. I heard gun fire suddenly, and I jumped and grabbed Hurley and pulled him down. "Get down!" I yelled. I grabbed my gun and looked across the way, where two men were running forward. Jack, Kate and Sawyer were moving to get better shots. I aimed carefully, and by only firing one shot from my gun, got one of the men down. I stood up. "Hurley, come on," I said, running past him.

"He's getting away!" Kate called. We ran to the man I'd shot. "He's dead," Kate said, feeling his pulse. "We have to find the other one…"

"No!" Jack called.

"I'm going! Sawyer…" She said.

"I said no!" Jack yelled.

"You crazy! We let him go, they'll know we're comin'! He'll warn them…"

"It doesn't matter if we catch him now!" Jack yelled. I looked at him angrily.

"Why not?" I asked.

"They already been warned," He said, looking back at Michael.

"What do you mean, 'warned'?" Sawyer asked, angry and confused.

"Why don't you tell them, Michael?" Jack said, approaching Michael.

"Jack…" Kate hesitated.

"I don't know what you're talking…"

"Stop lying!" Jack yelled, interrupting Michael. We all walked towards Michael, confused and angry. "Tell them."

"Tell them what? I…" Michael started, but Jack slammed him against the tree behind him.

"Jack!" I yelled, not sure whether to encourage him or stop him.

"I know what you're doing, Michael! Now tell them the truth," He threatened. Michael tried to say something quietly. "Tell them!"

"It was the only way…" I went from confused and angry to disappointed, scared, and upset. "They gave me a list."

"What list?" Jack asked.

"It had your names on it," Michael answered, nervous and scared. Jack let him go, looking like he wanted to hit him. "I had to bring all five of you back, or they said I'd never see my son again!" He called out. Everything made sense, now...

"Who are they?" Jack asked, wanting to get answers to the questions he didn't know.

"It's like I said," Michael insisted, "They, they live in a camp, with huts, th- I swear, that's it!" Jack took the gun out of the front of Micheal's pants, taking it from him.

"You let Henry go?" Kate angrily accused him. Michael was distraught, but I didn't care. I put my hands on my head, trying to not cry. I looked up at Michael, who slowly and sadly nodded.

"Did you kill them?" Hurley quietly asked. "Ana Lucia? And Libby?" Michael looked at Hurley as if to say he was sorry. "Did you?" After a moment, Michael looked up at Hurley, shaking his head.

"I had to," He said softly. "I c- I couldn't find any other way! And, and Libby was a mistake! I… I didn't have time to think!" He defended. I looked at him disgusted, letting a tear roll down my face.

"But if you did have time," Hurley suggested, "you still would've killed her, right?"

"I'm sorry," Michael said, staring into Hurley's eyes. "You understand, I am sorry. I… this is my son!" He called out, trying to explain. I angrily sighed, and pulled the gun out of my pants, pointing it at Michael.

"Easy…" Sawyer started, but I was so far from easy, I could barely see straight.

"You killed two of us! You let Henry go! And you're willing to sacrifice all of us, you're ready to kill all of us for your son! For one person!" I yelled.

"Carmen, put your gun down…" Jack started.

"No! I'm not willing to let him sacrifice us! I am willing, though, to sacrifice him!" I yelled, holding my gun at him. Michael didn't move. He looked ashamed, petrified. I wanted to pull the trigger. I wanted to shoot him and leave him for dead. But I couldn't. I lowered my gun, crying as I did. "I'm going back," I said. I started down the small slope past Jack.

"Me, too," Hurley said, starting to follow me.

"No, Hurley. Carmen, you can't!" Jack called after us.

"I can't!?" I yelled, turning around.

"We're all gonna get killed and you knew it! You let us come anyway!" Hurley angrily said.

"It's too late to go back now. We already caught them following us once, if they don't believe that we trust Michael, they'll kill us all!" Jack yelled. "I'm sorry that I didn't say anything. But you have to know that I would never bring you out here if I didn't have a plan!" Jack called to us.

"What plan?" Sawyer asked.

"Sayid's going to their beach on Desmond's boat. He's going to see what we're really up against, then give us a signal fire with black smoke. Then we'll know it's clear to attack," He said. "We need to keep moving." I looked to Hurley, not knowing what to say, or do. He walked forward, past Jack and Michael and up ahead. I walked forward as well.

"I'm sorry…" Michael started to say to me.

"No, you're not," I replied, stopping in front of him. "You're perfectly content with giving us up… you get near me," I said, "and I'll kill you." I walked ahead, past him, past Kate, and past Sawyer. I walked behind Hurley, staying aware of my guns presence in the back of my jeans.

* * *

"You okay?" Sawyer asked me. We had all been silent for what must have been a few hours by now.

"Peachy, Sawyer," I said in reply. I could tell he wanted me to open up more, but I couldn't. Not now. Not yet. We all walked out into a clearing, continuing our trek.

"J-Jack," Kate said, motioning to his pack. She was staring into the clearing. I looked and saw piles of black, white and blue dots. I got closer, along with the rest of the group to see that they were journals, locked inside of little tubes with blue caps.

"Something's up," Sawyer said, holding his gun in preparation.

"What are they?" Hurley asked. A large tube came out of the ground, like on you might see at a bank drive-through. I grabbed it and shook it, but it was firmly rooted in the ground.

"Over here," Sawyer said. I followed him as Kate read journal entries.

"What?" I asked, being wary of Michael's position.

"Something's up…" he said. He looked up at the sky. I followed his gaze to see a billowing black smoke rising above the trees. "Hey, doc, what'd you say the signal was gonna be when the coast was clear to hit that beach party?" Jack, Kate, Hurley and Michael all looked up at the smoke.

"That means he found them, right?" Kate asked.

"That's miles from here," Jack thought. I turned to him curiously. He turned around and looked at Michael, pulling out his gun. "Where were you takin' us?" He asked him.

"What?" Michael asked.

"Sayid said he'd light his signal so that we could meet him at the shore. Why aren't we going to the beach?" Jack asked angrily.

"We are headed to the beach…"

"We're nowhere near the beach!" Jack screamed.

"Look, I had to!" Michael yelled.

"What?!" Jack screamed. Whispers surrounded me. I pulled my gun out. I looked around the treelines, but nothing was clear. I was scared. This was it. Sawyer groaned and grabbed his neck. A slight buzzing noise came from whatever got him, and he fell to the ground being shocked.

"Sawyer," Kate called, hoping to help him.

"No!" I screamed, going to him.

"Run!" Jack screamed. "Go! Go!" He yelled. I started off, but looked to see Hurley holding his hands on his head.

"Hurley, run, damn it!" I screamed. I ran back to him and grabbed his arm, but he wouldn't move for fear. I let go and started shooting around the tree line. I ran to Sawyer and got him up. "Come on, Sawyer, move!" I pulled him up and started moving him, until I saw a dart hit the ground next to my foot. I shot in the direction it came from until something pinched into the skin on my neck. It felt like only a bug bite until it shocked me. I closed my eyes and fell to the ground, Sawyer on top of me, as my sight slowly went dark.

* * *

Someone pushed me forward. I felt the dirt turn into wood beneath my feet. I guessed that, wherever we were going, we were almost there. I was pushed forward until someone stopped me, and gently turned me around, and pushed me onto my knees. By the noises my friends were making around me, I didn't think everyone else's captors were so friendly. The bag was removed from my head, and the sunlight penetrated my eyes, temporarily blinding me. When I could see, I saw Sawyer was next to me.

"Son of bitches!" Was all I could make out of Sawyer's muffled talk, until a man in a light beige outfit kicked him in the stomach.

"Stop it!" I tried to scream through the tie in my mouth. He came near me and put his face in front of mine, lifting his ears.

"Sorry?" He asked sarcastically. I tried to get my hands free from the bands to hit him, but couldn't. I took my next best option, and slammed him in his face with the top of my head. I looked up to see him holding his nose, then reaching down to me. He slapped me across my cheek, so hard that I fell to the hard dock we were taken to. Sawyer screamed at them.

"Hey!" A man yelled behind him. It was the man with the beard; the man who tried to take me and Walt off the raft. The man who traded me for guns. "Everybody just calm down." I took a deep breath. When a younger looking girl tried to help me up, I squirmed away from her. I lifted myself up and sat on my legs, refusing help from the people that would execute me.

"Fay," I heard Kate say. "Why no at your beard is fay," She struggled to get out.

"Sorry, missy, I didn't getcha," He replied, leaning in to her, but not so close that she could smack him like I smacked the other one.

"She says she knows your beard's fake, Tom," a Black woman said. I looked to "Tom" to see his reaction.

"Well, thanks for pointin' that out, Kate. I can't tell you how much this thing itches," He said, removing his beard to reveal a clean shave. "And thanks for telling 'em my name, Be." I looked between the two, almost sensing a sibling rivalry. These people weren't at all who we thought they were. A soft buzzing came from behind me, and I saw a small fishing boat rapidly approaching the docks. Everyone turned to watch the boat, and who it let off. Henry. I struggled, and the girl behind me tried to calm me by holding my shoulder. I sat up straight, afraid of what might happen. He looked at Michael calmly, then walked to Jack. He gave a sly smile and a bow.

"Hello, again," He said casually. He looked along the line until he saw me. He was smiling at first, then frowned. He grabbed my face and turned it quickly. I inhaled quickly, afraid of his intentions.

"Hey!" I heard Sawyer yell.

"Did someone hit her?" Henry asked. Tom looked over at the man who slapped me, who was frowning. Henry walked to him, and quickly slapped him. "How does it feel?" He asked the man. He then turned to Tom. "Where's your beard?" Tom held it up.

"I think they… know," He shyly replied. Henry then turned back to Michael.

"Alright, let's take care of business, shall we?" The two walked away together towards the fishing boat. I was on the verge of tears. Were they going to kill us? What were they going to do to us? Suddenly, the sky was engulfed in a white/purple light, and a high pitch noise surrounded me. It sounded like a sonic explosion, or something I've never heard before. I thought my ear drums would burst. I cowered, hiding my head as low as I could. And then, it was gone. It came just as easily as it went. Sawyer, Kate, Jack and I looked around, searching for the source of the noise and light. Michael and Henry continued with their conversation. After a while, Michael got in the boat. I could hear Walt inside of it… Walt… the same Walt I failed to save, and got me here. As Michael sailed the boat off, tears rose to my eyes. The Black woman had Hurley get up. I sat up in fear for him. She pulled a knife out and broke his bonds, also untying his mouth.

"Hugo," She said, "you can go back to your camp."

"What?" Hurley asked, turning around to face her.

"Go back," She repeated. "Your job is to tell the rest of your people they can never come here."

"But," Hurley started, "What about my friends?" He looked to me, and Jack mainly.

"Your friends are coming home with us," Henry said. I looked up at him in genuine fear. I concealed my fear though, wanting to encourage Hurley to leave and get as far away from them as possible.

"Go," the Black woman said. Hurley looked to me. I nodded.

"Go," I said through the cloth in my mouth. He looked to Jack, then walked off the dock, looking back occasionally. A tear escaped, and slid down my red cheek, frantic to escape what came next. The girl behind me helped me stand, and I looked to Sawyer. I stared at him, afraid this may be the last time I saw him. I cried, trying to hold back tears, but failing as they slipped a bag over Sawyer's head. I exhaled as a bag slipped over mine, and I was lost to the darkness.

**DUN DUN DUN!!! See you in season three! Review!!**


	46. A Tale of Two Cities

**Okay, so here's the beginning of season three! Excitement!! Here's A Tale of Two Cities…**

My eyes slowly opened. I was lying on a table… a very uncomfortable table. I sat up slowly. I looked down at my arm to see a band aid with a cotton ball under it. I removed it to see a small puncture mark, as if from a needle. I guess that's how I fell asleep. I looked around me. There were two doors in the room, one to my right, and one across the room. I walked over to the first one and tried to open it. It was locked from the outside. I was sure the other door was locked as well, but I walked over to it. I was close when I ran into something: a glass wall, providing as a huge window. I felt like a fish in a bowl. There was a camera in the other room with a blinking red light on it.

"Hey!" I screamed at it. "Can anybody hear me?!" I yelled back at it. I waved my arms, then relaxed. I walked around the room, continuing to yell. I went to the door and banged on it. "Can anyone hear me?!" Suddenly the door in the other room opened. A blonde woman came in through the door, her hair half pulled back. She was wearing a pink flowery blouse over a white tank top, and had light khakis on. She looked at me, then turned back out the door. "Hey!" I yelled back at her. Then I realized what she was doing. Henry came in, closing the door behind him. I stepped away from the glass and walked back to the table, facing away from him.

"Carmen, can you hear me?" He asked. His voice got louder in the room, and I looked up to see a speaker behind me, resting over the glass wall. I turned back around, adamant to not face him. "Carmen, I'd like to speak with you for a few minutes," He said. I still didn't look at him. "I'd appreciate it if you'd face me…" I turned around quickly, angry at him.

"Where are my friends?" I asked him.

"All in good time…"

"Where are my friends?!" I yelled. He only took in a deep breath. I sat up on the table, facing him now.

"Carmen, I'd like to talk to you about who it is you think we are," He said. I chuckled a little.

"Well," I started, looking down at my hands, "who do I think you are? I mean, based off first impressions, it would seem that you're not the friendliest of people. I mean, you kidnapped a pregnant woman, tried to kill Charlie, kidnapped me and left me in the jungle, kidnapped Walt, tried to kidnap me again, lied to me, and finally, succeeded in kidnapping me, along with Sawyer, Kate, Jack and Hurley," I said. He nodded.

"Keep in mind, you killed Ethan," He said. I frowned.

"He deserved what he got. He did terrible things to us," I said. He nodded, looking down at my feet.

"And we gave Walt back," He said. I chuckled.

"As a bargaining chip for four of us!" I reminded him. He nodded again.

"And Hurley, we let him go."

"How do I know that?" I asked. He looked up at my face. "You probably killed him once he was out of our sight… out of Michael's sight…"

"Carmen, we are not bad people," Henry said, confused at why I would ever think they were. "Hurley is probably home now. Safe on his side of the beach." I smiled and nodded sarcastically, looking down at my hands. "Carmen, I want you to listen carefully to me when I say this…"

"No," I said. "Get out. I don't know what you want from me, but I don't care. No matter what you want, you're not getting it. I want to see my friends. All of them. Now." He frowned.

"I can't do that," He said.

"Why? Because you've already killed them?" I asked.

"No," He quickly replied. "Because you're not ready." He smiled at me. "We'll bring in some food and water for you in a moment… after that, my people will take you to get a shower…"

"What?" I asked angrily. He stopped.

"I want you to be comfortable here," He said. I nodded in feigned understanding.

"Oh, so is that why you sedated me? Is that why I'm locked up in a cold room away from all security and my friends? Thanks for clearing that up for me," I said. He frowned. "Don't open that door," I said, pointing to the door into my room, "Or I'll attack anyone who comes in. I don't want your food, or your water, or your fucking shower. Just leave me alone," I said. He nodded quickly, then left, leaving me hungry, thirsty, and scared.

* * *

I sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. I didn't know how long it had been since I ate last, but I had lost my strength. The door opened across the room. I considered standing and attacking whoever came in, but I couldn't. Henry walked through the door and sat down in front of me.

"The sedative we gave you has a very serious side effect," He said, looking into my eyes. "Dehydration. You need to drink something," he said, as a man with a tray walked in and put it on the table. He walked back out and shut the door behind him. The tray had a water bottle on it and a plate with food. Henry got it and walked towards me with the bottled water.

"I don't want it," I said to him. He put the bottle down in front of me and crouched there.

"Carmen, I need you to drink…"

"What's your real name?" I asked. He smiled.

"Tell you what, I'll tell you if you eat," He said. I laughed a little.

"Well… guess I'll have to wait," I said, leaning my head back against the wall.

"I want you to eat," He said. I sat up. "But the only way I can get you to do that, I think, is to show you something important." He stood up and offered me his hand. I looked up at him skeptically, wanting to stay seated. "Please," He asked. I closed my eyes in defeat and grabbed his hand as he helped me up. We walked to the door, and he turned to me. "My name is Benjamin Linus," He said. He smiled at me. "Ben." He opened the door and held my wrist as we walked together down a short hall. I heard something up ahead; as did he, and he slowed me down. As we got closer, I thought I heard Jack.

"I'm not… I'm not," I heard a woman say.

"Open the door!" Jack yelled.

"I can't!" She screamed back. We turned the corner to see them, Jack holding the blonde woman by the hair.

"She's telling the truth, Jack," Ben said. He turned her around. He was holding a piece of a broken… something… to her neck.

"Jack!" I yelled, wanting to run to him. Ben held me back though, knowing I wasn't currently strong enough to get past him with no food for a day or so. The woman struggled in Jack's arms.

"I swear to God," Jack said, "I will kill her."

"Okay," Ben said, nervously. "Have her open the door, and she dies anyway. We all do." Jack looked angrily at Ben, not believing him.

"Jack," I hesitantly called. He threw the blonde woman out in front of him and started opening the door in front of him. Henry pulled my arm and threw me into a room, coming in behind me. He quickly closed and locked the door. I could hear the blonde woman slamming on the door desperately. "What's happening?" I asked, petrified. All was silent, and I could hear the sound of metal be stressed, until something sounded like it burst, and I could hear flooding in the hallway. "Jack!" I screamed, running to the door. Ben caught me and pulled against me to the other side of the room.

"It's too late! If they can't hit the drain button, they're dead," Ben told me. Tears welled around my eyes as I let out a breath of desperate sadness, wanting to save Jack from a fate I could not control. I grabbed Ben's sleeve and let out a few tears. He held me, and I desperately tried to think of something.

"What happened?" I heard someone ask quickly. Ben let go of me, and I looked over to see the man who normally wore a beard… Tom.

"Jack got out, opened the door," Ben said. Tom looked to me.

"What's she doing out?" He asked, pointing to me.

"I got her out. I was going to show her around…"

"Show her around?" Tom asked. Ben nodded, looking back down at my confused face. I heard a beeping, and the water in the hallway outside sounded like it was being sucked away.

"Is that it? Did they hit the button?" I asked Ben. He looked to the door, then back at me and nodded.

"Tom, make sure Juliet is okay. Then get Jack back in his room and make sure he stays there," Ben ordered. Tom went through the door, revealing a hallway with drenched floors.

"What was that?" I asked. Ben looked at me.

"Those doors lead to the ocean," He told me. I frowned.

"Why?" I asked. He knelt in front of me, holding my knees.

"Carmen, I will tell you. I will tell you everything you want to know, but I can't do that until you do something for me," He said. I shook my head, confused.

"What?"

"We want you to join us," He said. I shook my head as I looked into his face. "We are good people, Carmen, and we want to give you a better life…"

"Better than what?" I asked.

"Better than your life is now. Better than it ever was before."

"How do you know what my life was like?" I asked, knowing he couldn't know. His smile faded as he closed his lips tightly.

"We know about Morgan," He said. My eyes got big. "We know about Josh," He continued. I closed my eyes in emotional pain. "We know about your parents, your dog, when you lived in Sydney, your acting career… we know everything about you," He said. I looked into his face and shook my head. "We know your life was terrible before. We want to give you something better… something you deserve," He said. I shook my head.

"Take me back to my room," I said, standing in front of him. He stood up as well. "I'm not joining you people," I said. Ben slowly nodded.

"If that is how you feel…"

"It is," I said. "Now take me back."

**OOOOO! Ben's intentions… REVEALED!! Ahahaha!**


	47. The Glass Ballerina

**Alright, so there's a big development in this episode, but nothing to huge, so this shouldn't be too long. Really quickly, I want to thank Velociraptor Girl, who added my story to her favorites list!! I felt so encouraged when I got my little email telling me… anyway, hope you enjoy!!**

I sat against the wall, tired. I still refused to eat anything. My stomach screamed at me, begging for me to feed myself. I looked up drearily. I felt dizzy, tired, thirsty, hungry; kind of like when I had a flu, but I knew that I wasn't making myself any better. The door across the room opened, and Ben walked in again, holding a water bottle and a plate of food. He walked over to me and crouched in front of me, the same way he had every hour he came in throughout the past day.

"Carmen, please," He said, offering me the bottle. "You're going to start hallucinating if you don't eat or drink soon." I shook my head. He sighed and walked back out. I rested my head back against the wall.

* * *

I sat up as I suddenly heard a trickling of water, like a faucet was leaking. I looked around and saw that the ceiling had a small leak in it, above the table. I had never seen that before… the leak started dropping more water. I looked across the floor to see water starting to flood in from under the door. My eyes got big: someone must have opened that door. As I understood what must've happened, the door burst opened and water rushed in. I pushed myself up, but the water swept me away. I tried to grab onto something, but all I could reach was the giant window. I was standing up straight as the water rushed in, and I was using all of my strength to stay standing. I banged against the window with all of my strength and screamed, hoping someone was monitoring the cameras, or someone could hear me. I waved my arms frantically.

"Help! Help me! Help!" I screamed. The water reached up to my chin; I wasn't going to be able to stand much longer. "Help me!! Help, I'm gonna die! Help!" I screamed. I let out a loud wail, hoping someone would hear, then the door behind me opened.

"Carmen," Ben said, completely dry. I looked around me. The water was gone. I looked down at myself. I was dry. None of it was real. Ben came up to me as I slid down the glass, terrified of my minds own creation. "Carmen, you need water," He said, getting the water bottle he had brought in earlier. I sat silently, eyes wide, as I thought about Jack, when he opened the door. Is that how he felt? Did he think he was going to die? Was my mind trying to tell me something? I looked up at Ben and realized that I was going to become an other eventually, whether I wanted to or not. As he crouched down next to me, I pushed the water away. "Carmen…"

"I'll make you a deal," I said. He lowered the water bottle.

"I'm listening."

"You take me to see my friends… all of them. I want to know they're safe and being taken care of. And I want to know that you won't hurt them, that they'll always be safe…"

"You have my word that…"

"Listen," I interrupted. "I want to know that they're safe, and then I want time. I want time to learn about you people, and make sure that what I'm doing is giving me a 'better' life. Then," I said, "then… I'll join you people." He nodded. "Do we have a deal?" He smiled.

"Only if you start eating," He said. I gave a weak, frightened smile, and picked up the bottle of water. I lifted it to my lips and poured some in. Once the clear, cool water touched my tongue, I couldn't have enough. I drank the entire bottle in a matter of ten or fifteen seconds. "Slow and steady," Ben said, offering me the plate with a sandwich and an apple on it. I picked up the sandwich and took a bite, realizing that it was turkey… with provolone cheese… on whole wheat bread, with…

"Mustard?" I asked, swallowing a large bite. He laughed.

"Sorry, I couldn't know what you liked, since you didn't eat," He said. I laughed quietly after swallowing another bite.

"No one likes mustard," I said. He smiled. I took the apple and held it in my hand as he gathered up the things to take from my room.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," Ben said, smiling at me. "Jacob will be glad." I frowned as he walked to the door.

"Who's Jacob?" I asked. He turned back around and faced me with his creepy smile.

"I'll see you soon, Carmen," He said, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Who's Jacob?

**Ooooooo! Lol, I'll write again tomorrow!**


	48. Every Man for Himself

**Happy New Years!! Really quickly, I want to make this clearer for a new reader of mine, Carmen is a sixteen year old girl. If you don't know how Sawyer and Carmen know each other, then you need to go back and read the episodes, lol! Also, I want to make it clear, Sawyer and Carmen's relationship is not romantic… at all. Sawyer's kind of like the father she never really had. Anyway, I think other episodes reveal that better than the more recent ones. Also, to answer another question, Carmen has brown hair, but it has gotten much lighter while on the island, and she has some blond streaks running through her hair. She is skinny (but not anorexic), and is pretty fit and muscular for a girl her age. If you haven't noticed, she's wise beyond her years because of her past, and shows it all the time. On with Lost!!! When we last left off, Ben and Carmen just made a deal… Here's Every Man For Himself! (I skipped Further Instructions because it's all about Eko and Locke)**

I sat on the table calmly, my hands folded in my lap. I kicked my feet back and forth. I looked up when someone opened the door on the other side of the glass median. It was Ben, holding a plate and some water.

"I'd like to come in," He said. I nodded.

"Then come in," I answered. He smiled.

"Since you've regained your strength, we need to take more precautions," He said. I nodded.

"Okay, so… what do you want me to do, sit in the corner?" I playfully joked. He maintained his straight face.

"If you don't mind," He said. I chuckled a little, then sat down on the floor in the corner. "Thank you," Ben smiled. He left that room and came into mine, putting the plate down on the table with the water after shutting the door behind him. I got up slowly, making sure he was okay. I walked over to the table slowly, then looked at the plate in front of me. A cheese burger sat on the plate. I smiled and laughed.

"You have cheeseburgers," I observed. He laughed.

"You tell me what your favorite food is, and I can get it to you," He told me. I smiled as I sat up on the table, eating my cheeseburger.

"I don't really have a favorite… I like spaghetti though," I said. He smiled and nodded.

"Spaghetti it is," He said, standing in front of me. I looked up at him after finishing off half of my burger. He was staring at me softly, smiling the whole while.

"What?" I asked. He leaned forward.

"How would you like to see Kate today?" He asked. I smiled softly and nodded.

"Yeah," I said, taking another bite, "good." He shook his head.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing, nothing, I just… nothing," I said. I was hesitant to go because I knew that as soon as I saw all of my friends, my life with them would be over. He smiled and nodded.

"Good. I wanted to ask you, what…" He started, but someone knocked on the door. He walked over and answered, sounding almost angry. He then quickly left, slamming the door behind him. I took another bite from my burger, looking down at it nervously. I ate the burger, then drank the water, putting them both on the floor next to the door. I sat on the table for a while, until two men came in quickly.

"Hands in front of you," One ordered. I did so, and he tied my hands in front of me.

"What's going on?" I asked, nervous.

"Jack needs your help," He said as he tied my hands.

"Jack?" I asked. He let me stand up, then put a bag over my head. He and someone else helped me climb up a ladder, me being blind. A loud beeping alarm sounded as I walked along some sidewalk. I could've sworn I heard someone call me, but I ignored it, knowing my mind was playing tricks on me. They took me inside a building and took the bag off of my head, untying my hands. I looked around and saw Jack, along with the woman Jack tried to kill with the blond hair. They were washing their hands. I saw x-rays on the wall, and a door with a bright orange-ish light coming through. I walked up behind Jack, putting my hair up and washed my hands after him.

"Hey," Jack said, smiling at me. I smiled back at him, cleaning thoroughly. Jack looked over at the x-rays.

"Those aren't hers," The blond woman said, shaking the water off her hands. I did the same.

"What's wrong?" I asked, understanding a medical emergency.

"Gun shot wound… Jack wouldn't help without you," The blond woman said. I smiled at him. "Come on," She said to Jack. We walked through the double doors to see Tom and the man who kicked me on the docks.

"What's he doin' in here?" The one who kicked me asked angrily.

"Danny!" The woman yelled back. "He's here to help."

"Tell him who did this! He oughta know that!" He yelled, pointing to Jack. I looked confused as I slipped on a pair of latex gloves.

"Danny…"

"Get him outta here," Jack instructed Tom.

"Danny get out…" the woman instructed.

"Come on, Danny," Tom said.

"Go," She ordered.

"No way!" He yelled back as Tom grabbed his shoulders. "She's my wife!"

"Danny, they got it," Tom said, pushing him out of the room. I walked over to the gurney, next to the blond woman and across from Jack. The wound looked bad… it was still bleeding a lot. Depending on how long she'd been in here, she wouldn't have much time left.

"I got the bullet out, but she's still bleeding," the woman said. Jack carefully observed the wound, shaking his head.

"The right upper quadrant… is swollen badly…"

"No, no I padded it," She said, sounding like a student challenging a teacher's grade.

"I need you to clamp under the liver so I can get a look back there," Jack said. The woman picked up a tool, what I guessed was a clamp, and reached for the body. She hesitated, making Jake nervous.

"I'm… I'm not a surgeon," she said. Jack nodded.

"I know… but I need you to do this," He said. She looked down and clamped the liver.

"Here," She said, letting him know that the liver was clamped.

"She's got a retro-hepatic caval bleed," Jack said, speaking in a foreign language to me. "It's, uh, behind the liver, that's why you missed it. I need lap pads, as many as you got," He said. The woman turned to me. I hurried to the cart and grabbed the tong-like tools as the woman motioned towards what looked like gauze pads. I grabbed a ton and passed the tool to Jack, then grabbed another set of tongs and gave them to Jack, who carefully padded around the liver. "Alright, another one," He said, as I handed him another set. However, before the tongs left my hand, a steady beep came from the heart monitor, which flat lined. "The crash cart. Now," Jack said. The woman looked up at him as he finished using the lap pads. "Juliet! I need paddles."

"It's broken," She said, choking down tears. Jack angrily let go of the lap pads and started doing chest compressions. "We haven't had… Jack, we haven't had anything… happen before, we didn't… we… I don't…" Juliet nervously stuttered. I stared as Jack as he furiously and passionately tried to save the woman. I reached my hand over and placed it on top of his.

"It's over," I said to him. He took one last glance at the heart monitor, then let out a breath. He backed up, and took off his gloves, looking up at the observing area where Danny, Tom, and Ben stood anxiously.

"Time of death at… she's gone," he said, unable to find a clock. I took off my gloves and threw them into a nearby trash can as the men in the observance room yelled. I walked over to Jack, who had taken his gloves off and thrown them away. I smiled at him.

"Hey," I said. He smiled at little at me, still disappointed with himself that he couldn't save a woman he didn't know.

"Hey," he replied. He walked closer to me and we hugged. Tom walked in through a pair of swinging double doors, and Ben followed him. Tom was holding a pair of handcuffs.

"Jack, if you don't mind, can you sit down over here?" Tom asked, pulling a stool up next to the dead woman. Ben approached me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Carmen, if you'll come back to your room," He said. I looked back at Jack. "Don't worry, Jack will be fine." At the sound of his name, Jack looked up at us. He sat down on the stool as Tom cuffed him to the gurney. The man who brought me tied my hands in front of me, then started walking me out. Ben followed shortly behind, and then turned the other way when we entered the hallway.

"Ben?" I called back as the man was tying my hands. Ben peeked his head around the corner at me. "That didn't count as my visit." He completely stepped out into the hallway.

"Sorry?" He asked.

"That didn't count as my visit with Jack," I repeated. He smiled a little and nodded.

"Have a good evening, Carmen," He said as he entered another room. I looked down at my tied hands as the man tying them finished.

"Who was that?" I asked him. "The woman?" As he picked up a bag from the floor to slip over my head, he answered, sighing.

"Her name was Coleen. She was the Danny's wife… the man with the broken nose," He said. I knew he'd be upset… and it would appear that when he gets angry, he gets violent. The bag slipped over my head, and I could hear the alarm sounding outside.

**Those who know their episodes well know exactly what Danny did after Coleen died!! See you in 2010!!!**


	49. The Cost of Living

**Okay, so this is a small, YET IMPORTANT episode… hope you enjoy the Cost of Living!! It's 2010! Be happy! Also, thanks to my new readers... several people put me on alert lists and favorite lists yesterday, and it made me very, very happy. I'll write again tomorrow! ~Bryana**

I sat calmly in my room, waiting for… well, I was just waiting for something, though I didn't know what. I felt hungry, which meant that Ben would probably walk in through the door with a plate of some kind of food and some water, then he would sit there and talk to me about random nothings. My feet swung back and forth as I wondered whether they really had spaghetti, and if the sauce would be good. After a long while, the door in the room on the other side of the window opened, and Ben walked in. I looked up at him and tried to smile. He didn't smile back.

"Hello, Carmen," He said. I noticed he didn't have any food with him. I got off the table.

"What's…"

"I can't explain why, Carmen, but unfortunately you have significantly less time to make your decisions," He said calmly, still maintaining his straight face.

"We made a deal," I said, thinking about the terms of our deal.

"I remember," He said. "You'll still get to do your visits with your friends, but we need to do them now. I'm going to come in, and then you'll see Jack." I nodded slowly, then he turned and left the room. I was nervous… this decision was being forced on me, and I couldn't stop it. Ben came in through the door in my room and held me by my wrist. We walked out of the room together. I noticed he walked with a certain tone of urgency and briskness. He opened a door, and I walked in to see Jack, in the same kind of room I was in. I was on the wrong side of the window, though. I walked to the window as Jack stepped forward on his side. "You have… five minutes, or so," Ben said, looking down at his watch. I nodded back at him as he walked out and shut the door. I looked at Jack, my hands placed on the glass as if to be closer to him.

"Hey," I said, smiling. He smiled back, putting his hand near where mine was on his side of the glass.

"Hey."

"How are they treating you?" I asked. Jack shook his head.

"Fine, they're… they're fine," He replied. I nodded, not taking my eyes off of him for fear of my short time with him. "Ben wants me to do surgery on him." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?"

"Those x-rays? On the wall where we operated on the woman? They were Ben's… and he has a tumor," He said. I shook my head. "He wants me to operate…"

"Will you?" I asked, wanting to know where he stood. He shook his head and took an angered breath through his nose.

"No," He replied. I nodded, knowing it was his decision. I didn't know what to think of Ben, but I was afraid of him right now. I decided I needed to tell Jack.

"This is the last time I'm going to see you," I said. He looked up at me. I felt my stomach turn at my own words.

"What?" He asked, confused at my comment.

"They're," I started, but I paused, choking on the tears and nausea that I felt. "They're making me become one of them." He shook his head. "He said I could visit you all one last time, and then…"

"Who said?" Jack angrily asked, pressing closer to the glass.

"Ben," I sighed. A tear escaped. Jack was furious, but wanted to protect me. "Jack, I… there's nothing I can do," I told him, more tears breaking through. I leaned my forehead on the glass. "I'm sorry… I," I started, but the door opened behind me and a man, not Ben, came in. He grabbed my wrists, put them behind my back and tied them.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Jack yelled, banging against the glass. I started crying, giving up on holding the tears down. The man pulled me off the glass and took me out of the room, Jack yelling the whole time.

* * *

I had been sitting alone in my room for multiple hours, I was sure. I hadn't eaten in a while… hadn't had any water… but I didn't care. My stomach turned with the anxious thoughts of what was to come, now that it couldn't be avoided. The door opened and Ben walked in on the other side of the window. He looked through the glass at me, silently.

"I changed my mind," I said. He just stared at me. "I can't do this, I can't… become one of your people. I'm sorry, I just…"

"That doesn't matter," Ben said. I looked up at him.

"What?" After a long pause he continued.

"Carmen, I came in here to tell you that I don't care," He said coldly. "What you want doesn't matter anymore." I looked up at him, afraid. "The only choice you have now is between coming calmly and seeing your other friends one last time, and not seeing them and coming anyway." I couldn't control my fear and sadness. I started crying, and tried to control my frantic breathing, but couldn't.

"Please…" I tried.

"What's it going to be?" He asked, making me all the more anxious. Tears rolled down my cheek. I nodded.

"Just let me see Sawyer again," I got out between my cries. He nodded, then left. I cried, desperate for a shoulder to lean on. I laid down on the table, crying into my arms.

**Ohhh, poor Carmen. Why is Ben such an ass? Is he an ass? Or is Carmen the ass? Is anyone an ass? Will I ever stop talking? No body knows... lol read and review! I'll post again tomorrow!!!**


	50. I Do

**I was really feeling the juices last night, so I decided to go ahead and write today's episode!! Hope you enjoy I Do!! Thank you for your reviews and adding me to your alert lists!! I'm so excited to have a fan basis again!!**

I sat with my knees folded up to my chest on the floor in the corner. I wanted to disappear. What I thought was safe and secure… what I thought was my decision… what I thought was right was suddenly wrong. I all of a sudden knew that I didn't want to be one of these people. They were going to make me one anyway, though. I felt victimized. And I hated feeling victimized. I wanted to escape… to attack Ben when he'd open the door, get past him, and find a way out… but something told me I would find nothing at the other end, and would wind up back in this col, dank room. I was alone. I heard a loud clunk outside of my door and looked up. It sounded like something hit the door. I stared at the door for a few moments, until I saw the red lever that locked the door move. I put my hands on the floor, palms down, ready to spring into action, although I knew it would do nothing. I watched as the door opened, and as a young girl… my age or younger… walked in, a slingshot in her hand. She had dark brown hair, and wore a gray sweatshirt over a white shirt with jeans. She had a beige bag hanging over her shoulder, and wore sneakers. She flung the door open when she saw me.

"Get up," She whispered urgently. I looked past her to see the man that took me from Jack's room, on the floor, seemingly unconscious. "Get up! Hurry! Let's go!" She whispered with urgency. I sprung up and ran to the door.

"Who are you?" I asked as we walked out of the room. We snuck carefully and quietly down the hallway.

"Alex," She said. I looked at her suspiciously as she led me down the hallway. We stopped outside of a room… it was the same room that Ben took me into when Jack opened the door to the ocean. I knew Jack's room was just around the corner.

"Wait," I said, grabbing her shoulder. I went around the corner to Jack's door.

"What are you doing?" She asked, grabbing my wrist. I pulled it back away from her and hurried to his door.

"This is Jack's room, we have to…" Suddenly, I heard urgent footsteps down the hallway near my room… someone must have found the guy she knocked out.

"Let's go," She said. I nodded, understanding the urgency. I left Jack's door, looking back in promises to rescue him if I ever could; I knew I was in much more danger than him.

"What about my other friends?" I asked her as we headed up the ladder onto the ground.

"We're going to get them now," She said. I smiled a little.

"Why?" I asked as we walked on the sidewalk. She never answered my question. We snuck carefully off of the sidewalk and into the trees, and walked slowly and stealthily through the jungle until I could see a section that was deforested up ahead. As we got closer, I could see figures of people, and I heard an angry man, who I thought might be Danny, through the trees. I looked around, and my eyes eventually fell on Kate, who was on the ground. I looked around frantically and spotted Sawyer. Alex and I were crouched silently, not ten feet away from them.

"How the hell did she get over here?!" Danny yelled. I watched as Alex loaded her slingshot.

"Don't!" I whispered as she let the rock fly. It hit a man in the back of the neck. She sprung up and ran out of the trees, and I followed, farther behind her, cautious at her sense of confidence around the men with guns. She knocked another person down by hitting him in the face with a rock.

"Get up! Come on, get up!" She yelled at Sawyer. I ran closer, and he made eye contact with me. When he saw me, he hurried to his knees. "Let's go!"

"Alex!" Danny yelled, holding a gun to her. She turned to him, threatening to hit him… with a rock… "What the hell do you think you're doin?" Someone pushed Sawyer back to the ground.

"Run, Carmen!" She yelled. I turned and ran. I heard someone shoot a gun, but nothing came near me. I continued to run until someone wrapped their arms around me and held me. I threw my head back and found that it hit someone, who groaned. They dropped me and I struggled to get free of other men grabbing my arms.

"They're gonna kill your boyfriend!" Alex yelled.

"Shock her!" Danny yelled. I thought he was talking about Alex, but I soon found I was wrong.

"Get off me! Sawyer!" I called. Someone raised something to my neck, and I screamed as I was shocked, feeling electricity shake through one side of my neck to the other. I went limp from the shock, and the men holding me dropped me. I fell to the ground, and blacked out.

* * *

I sat on the floor, curled up with my knees to my chest. The door opened to my room, and Tom walked in. I looked down at my knees. He walked over to me and stood in front of me.

"Stand up," He ordered, holding a rope to tie my hands with in his hands. I looked up at him. "I'm gonna take you to see Sawyer and Kate." At Sawyer's name, I stood up. He tied my hands in front of me, then grabbed between my hands, leading me to the room with the ladder. I climbed up the ladder, then he continued to lead me on the sidewalk. The sidewalk curved, and I saw two cages that were old and rusty. In the one facing me, I could see him. Sawyer. I walked forward quicker, wanting to see him. Tom led me up to the cages, revealing to Sawyer who I was. He stood up and came to the bars. I looked at the other cage and saw Kate, also at the bars. Tom let go of me, pulling out a gun. I looked at him nervously. "Five minutes," He said. I ran to Sawyer's cage. He put his arms through the bars and grabbed around me, trying to hug me.

"Are you okay? Where are…"

"Near Jack," I answered before he could finish. By the time I looked up at his face, tears were already welling up in me.

"What did they do to you? Are you…" Sawyer asked, panicked at my anxious, depressed, and frightened state. I started crying as I told him what was happening.

"They're gonna turn me into one of them," I cried. I tried to control my crying, but I couldn't.

"What?"

"I don't know how, but he told me this is the last time I'll ever see you again," I cried. I started sobbing harder as I reminded myself of losing Sawyer. He put his hands softly on the back of my head.

"Tom," I heard a muffled voice. It sounded like Ben's. I turned around quickly, terrified. It was Tom's walkie-talkie. He picked it up off his belt, still holding his gun.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Did you take Carmen?" Ben asked.

"Doin' it now," Tom replied, looking up at me. I looked at the walkie-talkie, terrified of the man on the other end.

"Well take her back to her room, I changed my mind," I heard Ben order. I backed up into the bars as Tom said something back into his walkie-talkie. I faced Sawyer, desperate to stay, desperate to not lose him.

"Sawyer, don't let him," I desperately cried, reaching through the bars to try to touch him one last time. I grabbed a hold of his shirt as he held my back.

"Get away from her!" Sawyer angrily yelled. I pushed my face into the bars.

"Sawyer!" I cried at him, desperately afraid… wanting to think this wasn't happening. Tom grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me away from Sawyer's grasp. I cried out in fear.

"Leave her! Leave her alone!" Sawyer yelled at him. Tom grabbed my hands.

"Stop!" Kate yelled. Tom pulled me forward by my shirt. I twisted and pulled until he lost his grip. He grabbed my hands as I fell to my knees, and pointed the gun down at me.

"Carmen!" Tom yelled, trying to control me. I couldn't stop crying... I needed to see Sawyer.

"Please," I begged him, refusing to be pulled up. I didn't want to leave Sawyer... I couldn't. I hadn't said goodbye. Tom weakly looked down at me, taking pity. "Please," I cried. "Let me have a few more minutes… just a minute, please… I'll never see them again," I cried. He pulled me up after lowering his gun.

"A minute," he said. I ran to Sawyer's cage again. He touched my hair.

"I'm sorry… I… I'll help you. I'll get you out…" Sawyer started.

"No," I interrupted. I was thinking clearer now that I had taken a moment away from Sawyer. "No… I don't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry, Sawyer," I said, crying as he held my hands through the bars. I cried, dropping a tear onto our joined hands. "I love you," I told him. I couldn't remember if I'd ever told him I loved him before, but it didn't matter. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"I love you, too, San Diego," He tried to smile. I let out a gasp of air, half out of sadness and grief, and half out of his nickname. I leaned into him, and we hugged through the bars one last time. I looked to Kate and walked over to her. She was crying to herself.

"I guess we were right," I said to her through my tears. "We should have trusted our instincts and left the first day, huh?" I asked her. She smiled at me, wanting to be comforting and supportive, but falling into my sadness. I cried as I leaned into the bars and she hugged me. "Take care of Sawyer," I told her, crying out the words in a low whisper. I heard her cry harder over my shoulder. Tom touched my back.

"Carmen," He said. I didn't want to leave… it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I had to, and I would either make myself look like a fool, or I could walk towards my torture with dignity. I backed away from Kate and tried to feign a smile as tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked at Sawyer one last time. My lips quivered, and I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I tried to smile one last time.

"Goodbye," I whispered through my cries. Tom pulled me down the sidewalk and away from my friends… the last time I'd ever see them. I cried as we went back to my room. When we got into my room, Tom untied my hands. I went straight to my corner, sat down and curled my legs up, crying into them. I felt Tom's eyes on me, then I heard him leave. For the first time in a long time… for the first time ever on this island… I felt truly alone. I grabbed Boone's necklace that fell around my neck, looking for some sense of support... but for the first time the necklace felt cold, and the metal stung against my skin. I let go of the necklace, and wrapped my arms around my legs, desperate for someone to help me.

* * *

The door to my room opened and Danny walked in with two other men. I stood up.

"Time to go," He said. He grabbed me by my elbow and pulled me to the table, where he pushed me down. He tied my hands behind my back as I silently cried. He then pulled me back up to put a bag over my head. He walked me down the hall, and pushed me up the ladder, while someone above me pulled me up. They walked me down a sidewalk, then over some dirt path for a while. Then I was pushed up some concrete stairs. "Leave her with the kid… they still getting the video ready?" Danny asked. Someone else answered him.

"Yeah, they're fixing everything up still… is she going to see it, too?" The man asked… he sounded young.

"Yeah, take her, I gotta run. Ben's getting his surgery done in an hour," Danny said. He let go of me and I heard him and the other men walk off. The younger man opened a loud metal door and walked me down a hallway. He stopped me at a metal door, then led me in. He took the bag off of my head. While he untied my hands, I saw a young boy, about my age, in the room. He had brown hair, and his face was dirty. I turned my head to see the man who brought me: he couldn't be over twenty, and had short brown hair and was lanky… the boy my age had more muscle than him. He pushed me forward, then left the room, shutting the door behind him. I went to the door to try to open it.

"It's locked," the guy my age said. I tried to open it anyway, and discovered he was right. I looked around the room, looking for another escape route. I sat down next to him on the floor. "What's your name?" He asked me.

"Carmen," I said. I looked at him curiously. "Who are you?"

"Karl," He answered. I shook my head.

"No, I mean… who are you? Where did you come from? Did the others... I mean, did these people find you?" I asked him. He shook his head, chuckling.

"I am one of these people," He answered, looking up at the door. I frowned.

"Then… why are you here?" I asked. He smiled again and looked at me.

"'Cause I pissed off Mr. Linus," He said.

"Ben?" I clarified. He nodded. I looked at the door. "What are they gonna do to us?" I asked. He lost his small smile at this and frowned, upset.

"They're gonna brainwash us."

**OH SHIT. Hahaha, next episode is BIG, so be sure to read it! Read and review! Talk to you next time!**


	51. Not in Portland

**Okay, so this is a really big episode, so it'll either be posted today (Sunday) or tomorrow (Monday), but I promise it'll come quickly!! Enjoy Not in Portland!!**

I sat on the floor with my knees curled up to my chest. Karl sat more calmly, his legs crossed in front of him as he picked at his fingernails. I looked down at my feet. I was going to be brainwashed. I understood now how it would be the last time I'd see Sawyer and Kate and Jack; if I did see them again, I either wouldn't remember them, or I wouldn't care about them. And even worse, I wouldn't see anyone from the beach ever again: Claire, Charlie, Aaron, Locke, Sayid, Desmond... suddenly, I felt all of the sadness and depression slip away from me, only to be replaced by blinding anger. I stood up and walked around, trying to think of something to do; something to get out of there.

"What are you doing?" Karl asked as I paced around. I looked around, thinking about ways to overcome the guard.

"Trying to think of a way out of this," I said. He sighed from behind me. I put my hand to my head, thinking, then realized the only decoy we had to distract the guard with: me. I looked down at my shirt and pulled the v-neck lower, pushing a sleeve off my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Karl asked again, this time more out of curiosity about what I was doing to my shirt.

"I'm gonna distract the guard," I said, "get his gun, and then get out of here." I looked back at Karl, who looked confused and skeptical. "You have a better idea?" He shook his head. "You wanna help, stay back when he comes in. What's his name?"

"Uh… Aldo," He said. I looked back at him and frowned.

"Aldo?" I asked. He nodded. "What the hell kind of name is that?" He chuckled a little. I flipped my hair upside down, then back up again, making it more voluminous. I heard the big door to the building open. "He's coming," I said. I made sure I was showing a good amount of cleavage, then sat calmly near the door, with my legs crossed. The door slowly opened, and the man who brought me in the first time, Aldo, came in. He was holding a rope.

"Okay, Karl, you're first," he said, motioning to him. I stood up and walked to him.

"Why's he first?" I asked sweetly. I stood in front of him, and tried to look as flirty as possible.

"Because Ben…"

"Ben's not important… I wanted to talk about you," I said. He looked at me, somewhat confused and defensive. "What's your name again?"

"Uh… Aldo," He said. I smiled.

"Aldo… what is that, Greek?" I asked, batting my eyes.

"Um… it's uh, it's Italian," He said. I pressed close to him.

"Yeah… you do like kind of Italian," I said, putting my hand on his chest. "What does it mean?"

"Um… noble," He hesitated. I knew his defense was down.

"Noble," I repeated, touching my finger tips to his bare chest. I looked up into his eyes as he looked back into mine. "I like it," I said. He quickly blinked and licked his lips. Now. I slowly reached my arms down, heading for his back, as I reached up to his face, looking like I was going to kiss him. He closed his eyes, expecting the kiss. I reached my arms back behind him, and grabbed the handle of the gun in the back of his pants. I pulled the gun out before our lips met and backed up, aiming the gun at him. He was shocked and clueless as to what I did. "Don't move," I ordered. I looked back to Karl. "Do you know where we are?" I asked him.

"Yeah," He said, surprised at my tricks.

"You know how to get back to my camp?" I asked, looking back at him still. He hesitated.

"Yes," He answered. "Carmen!" He yelled, pointing behind me.

"Prisoner escape!" Aldo yelled into his walkie. I took the walkie from his hand and threw it down. I grabbed Karl's arm and pulled him out of the room.

"Which way?" I asked, pointing the gun back at the room, waiting for Aldo to walk out, although he never did.

"This way," He said, leading me down a long hall. We ran to the end, where we opened a large metal door and walked out. I saw the jungle, and I already felt more comfortable. We walked down the concrete steps and I looked around.

"Where to now?" I asked, holding the gun firmly in my hand.

"Uh… we, we need to get to the boat," He said.

"What?" I asked. "No, take me back to my side of the island…"

"We're not on your island," He said. I lowered my gun.

"What?"

"We're on a different one… a smaller one, a couple miles off the coast of yours," He said. I looked up at the sky in frustration. "I have a boat, though… I just don't know where Alex put it," He said.

"Alex?" I asked, remembering the girl who tried to save me. He nodded. "Your girlfriend?" I asked, remembering what she said about them killing her boyfriend. He nodded again. I nodded. "Well, let's head to the beach- that's a good place to start," I said. He nodded, then his eyes got big.

"Stop!" He yelled. I turned around to see someone grab me- the same man who Alex knocked out outside of my room. Someone else grabbed Karl, but only by his wrist.

"Let go of him!" I yelled, hoping he would get me and take me to the beach. Karl looked to the man holding his wrist, and that man grabbed something out of his pocket: a syringe. When Karl saw it, he tried to fight, but the man jabbed it into his skin, and Karl soon went limp. I thrashed around, eventually dropping my gun. "Karl!" I yelled as the man picked him up under his arms. "Let go of him! Karl, wake up, damn it!" I yelled. The man took him inside as I thrashed around. The man holding me dropped me, and as I tried to get up and run, he shocked me, and I fell back to the ground. I didn't pass out this time, but I couldn't move. He picked me up and held me like a child. He carried me into the building. I saw us passing Aldo. The man handed Aldo his rifle and took his pistol.

"Next time, don't let your guard down for a girl," He said. Aldo looked embarrassed as we passed him. The man dropped me in the same room I was in, which had a number '24' on the door. He tied my hands in front of me, then left the room.

Again… I was alone.

* * *

I was pacing around the room, my hands tied and the door locked. I felt the urge and will to fight my fate, but I didn't know if it was worth it. I heard the large door open at the end of the hall, and I thought that they might be coming for me. I stood next to the door, deciding to hide behind it when it opened. Then I would hit whoever came in, try to take their gun, and shoot anyone I saw. I heard a female voice say something, so I wondered who would come in. I heard the door unlock as someone tried to open it from the outside. I folded my hands together, getting ready to hit the guard. The door opened quickly, and I stepped forward quietly, then threw my fists at someone. However, they caught my hands. I looked and saw… Sawyer. I lowered my hands.

"Sawyer?" I asked, my eyes big, pitiful, and full of wonder at his presence. He pulled me to him and held me.

"You okay?" He asked. I nodded as I nuzzled into him. I backed up as he untied my hands. I realized the door across the hall was open, and loud techno-type music flooded out of the room.

"How are you here?" I asked, needing answers.

"Jack-o is threatening to kill Ben if we don't get back to our camp safely," He said.

"Sawyer, we're on a different island," I told him.

"I know," He said. He threw the ropes down and pulled me across the hall to the open door. We walked in, holding our ears to see a screen with flashing images. Doll faces flashed up on the screen, and they evolved to womens' faces, and drawings of womens' faces. Sawyer and I stared at the screen in fear and wonder. This is what they were going to show me. It showed an eclipsing moon, then more pictures flashed behind the words "we are the causes of our own suffering." More images flashed up, and I felt overwhelmed at the images. Another sentence flashed up, saying "God loves you as he loved Jacob." I frowned in confusion, then looked down to where Karl was seated in a chair. I ran to help Alex, who was taking things off of him. I saw he had what looked like 3-D glasses on, and I couldn't imagine how overwhelmed he felt. I reached to the helmet he was wearing and took it off slowly, trying to avoid over-stimulating him. I moved out of the way as Sawyer threw him over his shoulder and we walked out, closing the door to the crazy room behind us.

"Look, we got your boyfriend back, now where's your damn boat?" Sawyer demanded. I ran to Alex's side.

"Let's go," She said, running past Sawyer. I followed, and Sawyer followed me, with Kate in the back of the line. We ran through the jungle silently. I occasionally looked back to make sure Sawyer was okay with Karl. Karl just hung over his shoulder, limp. I was worried about him, but thought that if we could get Karl back to our camp with Alex, they'd both be okay.

"How much further…" Sawyer began to ask.

"Here!" Alex called back. I looked ahead to see a long kayak, big enough to hold all five of us a little uncomfortably. Sawyer handed Karl to Kate and ran to the boat's side.

"Nice ride," Sawyer said.

"Help me," Alex demanded.

I pushed with Alex on her side, and Sawyer pushed on the other side, and we got the boat down to the water. Sawyer and Alex started mounting the mast in the middle of the boat.

"So," Sawyer started, "you're the boss's daughter." Alex looked up at him, seemingly ashamed of her father. "Never saw that comin.'" He ran back to Kate and grabbed Karl. "Let's go, Cheech," He said, bringing Karl to the boat.

"Bring him to this end, we can prop his head up on the end of the boat," I said, motioning to the end closest to the water.

"We're goin' for a little ride," Sawyer told Karl.

"Careful," Alex warned Sawyer. Sawyer groaned as he picked up Karl and placed him in the boat.

"No, Sawyer," Sawyer said to Karl. I got closer to hear, leaning in to hear him.

"Danny," Karl said, looking behind Sawyer. I looked up to see Danny, aiming a gun at Sawyer. I went around the boat and held Sawyer's shoulder.

"Danny," I whispered. He got angry and prepared to fire.

"No!" Kate yelled, running in front of Sawyer.

"Danny!" Someone yelled from the jungle. All of a sudden, Danny had three bullets in his chest. I found that my face was buried in Sawyer's arm, and I looked to where Danny was to see Juliet. Kate held Sawyer, as if to catch him if he fell. Juliet approached us, holding her gun carefully. She looked down at Danny, then back up at us. "Go," She told us, putting the gun in the back of her jeans. "Get outta here."

"You heard the lady," Sawyer said, pulling Kate and I towards the boat.

"Let's go," Alex said as we started to pull the boat back down to the water.

"Not you, Alex," Juliet said. The boat stopped as we all looked up. "You're staying."

"Why?" Alex asked, wanting to cry.

"We both know your father. And the only way he'll let Karl live is if you're here when he wakes up," She said. I looked to Alex, who looked tortured. "I'm sorry, Alex." Alex walked down and knelt next to Karl.

"Hey, Alex," He said, still out of it.

"Hey," She said, trying to choke down the tears. I walked closer.

"I missed you," He said, holding her wrist tightly.

"I know," She said, "I missed you, too. You have to go away now. But I'll see you real soon, 'kay?" She said.

"I love you," Karl sighed out. Alex reached down and kissed him. "I have to go to sleep now," He said. Alex laughed at his delusional state. After another moment of running her fingers through his hair, I knelt down next to Karl on the other side.

"I'm sorry," I told her. She looked up at me, then back down at Karl.

"Will you take care of him?" She asked, staring into Karl's eyes. She looked back up at me when I hesitated.

"Of course," I said. She stood up and backed away from the boat. I stood and looked back at Juliet, then to Sawyer.

"Why don't you get in the boat… sit his head on your lap," He ordered. I sat Karl up, then sat down behind him. When his body weight came down on me, his shoulders rested on my hips. Sawyer and Kate started to push the boat forward into the water, but they stopped at Juliet's words.

"Wait," she ordered. We looked back to see her holding a walkie-talkie out towards us. I looked to Sawyer and Kate, unsure of what she wanted us to do with it. Juliet walked forward and reached the walkie over to Kate. She hesitated, then talked into it.

"Jack, are you there?" She asked. I suddenly remembered Jack. Where was he? What was going on? After a moment, he answered.

"Yeah, I'm here Kate. You okay?" He asked. "You got Carmen?" Kate looked to me.

"Yeah, I… we've got a boat. They're letting us go," She said into the walkie.

"Who's letting you go?" Jack asked. Kate looked up at Juliet.

"The blond woman," She answered.

"So you're safe? You, Carmen and Sawyer?" He asked.

"Yes, yeah," Kate answered quickly.

"Tell me," Jack said on the other end.

"Tell you?" Kate asked, almost angry.

"The first day on the beach, the day of the crash, the story that I told you. If you're safe, tell me," Jack replied. I guessed this was his way of making sure we were really safe. She hesitated a little.

"You… were doin' surgery on a girl… and you messed up," She said, looking nervously around herself. "You made a mistake. You tore somethin', on her back, and all the nerves came loose. And you said you were so afraid," Kate said, verging on tears. I looked to Sawyer, who I could tell knew that Kate wouldn't want to leave. "And you said the fear was so… real… and you didn't know what to do. So you counted to five… and then you weren't afraid anymore… and then it was just gone… and you fixed her," Kate cried. "You saved her." After a moment, Jack replied.

"I need you to make me a promise, Kate," Jack said on the other side.

"Jack," Kate cried.

"Promise me that you'll never come back here for me," Jack ordered. I felt my stomach turn at his words. "Don't come back, Kate."

"Jack, where are you?" Kate asked. "Jack? Jack, please, where are you?" I heard the other end of the walkie turn off, and Kate cried, panicked at losing Jack. Sawyer looked disappointed, but upset about something else. He took the walkie from her hand.

"The trades are comin'," He said. Kate looked up at him, not wanting to leave. "We've gotta go." He handed the walkie to Juliet. "Let's go." Kate pulled her hair back while she struggled to maintain calm and push forward. They pushed the boat into the water and climbed in, starting to paddle home. I ran my fingers through Karl's hair as a tear dropped onto his forehead.

**And we're going home!!! Talk to you tomorrow! I'm going to see the Wake/Xavier game!!**


	52. Stranger in a Strange Land

**Alright, so Xavier lost last night… by four points!! GRRR I was so mad. Anyways, on with Lost!! Nothing happens during Flashes Before Your Eyes, so on to Stranger in a Strange Land!**

I held Karl's head still in my lap as the water pushed against the sides of the kayak. Sawyer was singing some song… I wasn't sure what it was. Kate had stopped paddling a while ago, and looked back occasionally at Sawyer with annoyance.

"Stop," She eventually said.

"What, you want a turn steerin'?" He asked, lifting his paddle out of the water.

"We have to go back," She said, turning around to face Sawyer.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked, resuming paddling.

"Turn the boat around Sawyer, I mean it," She said, looking away from him.

"Have you lost your mind! We just got away…" He reminded her.

"Just do it," Kate ordered, looking back at him.

"You give me one good reason to turn around…"

"Because we can't leave Jack behind!" She yelled back at him. I looked down at Karl, not wanting to be involved. Of course I felt bad about leaving Jack behind, but we couldn't go back. I couldn't. They might not be nice enough to let us leave again. After a moment, Sawyer answered her.

"Yes we can, freckles," He said. "Cause that's what he asked us to do. You think about it: we go back there, what do you think Captain Bunny Killer's gonna do when he catches us?" I looked off to the water… bunny killer?

"Kill you," I heard from my lap. I looked down to see Karl half awake. "God loves you as he loved Jacob," he said to Kate. I smiled down at him, thinking he was half crazy and half brainwashed. Not a good combo.

"Okay," Sawyer called back from the other side of the boat. "Thanks for the input." After a moment, he replied to Kate. "Sorry, kiddo. Jack's on his own." Kate looked back down at her paddle. I looked back down to Karl and ran my fingers through his hair.

* * *

We were getting closer to shore after about an hour or so. I was incredibly uncomfortable, as I wasn't able to move my legs or reposition myself the whole time because of Karl. I was ready to be on the beach.

"Never thought I'd be glad to get back to this rock," Sawyer said, paddling in to shore.

"What are you doin'?" Kate asked.

"What does it look like? I'm paddling in to shore!" He replied. They were arguing like a couple that should divorce, but were too proud to.

"Why?" She asked. "If we just keep going, we can circle 'round, sooner or later we'll get to camp," She said, pointing across the ocean. "And tell Locke and Sayid what happened, and…"

"Oh, we will, huh?" Sawyer asked snidely. "You got a map you ain't showin' me, Magellan? We got no food, no water, and I can't steer in the dark!"

"Then I'll steer," Kate insisted.

"No," Sawyer replied. "You'll come ashore, we'll make camp. You wanna contribute? You can build a camp fire while I carry the kid," He said, looking to Karl. "I'm glad we agree." Kate helped paddle a little bit, but not much. She was angry that Sawyer wasn't letting her have her way. When we finally reached the shore, she got out quickly and wandered slightly into the jungle. Sawyer pulled Karl off of my lap and took him onto the sand. I slowly stood up, my legs cramping from being still too long. I walked along the beach and felt a small sense of comfort. Kate came back, carrying firewood. She lit a fire while Sawyer looked for fruit. I sat near Karl, waiting for him to wake up. He eventually did wake, but when I offered him fruit, he just shook his head and looked up at the sky.

"Sure you ain't hungry?" Sawyer said as he offered Kate fruit for the fourth time. She shook her head.

"No, James. I ain't hungry," She repeated. Sawyer gave up.

"You shouldn't fight," Karl said. I turned to my right to see him.

"When the hell did you wake up?" Sawyer asked, walking away from Kate and sitting behind me.

"You shouldn't fight because you're lucky to be alive," Karl told us. I leaned my chin on my palm and rested my elbow against my knee. Sawyer laughed.

"Golly!" He said, looking to Kate. "I think he's got a point!" Karl sat up, still looking at the sky.

"That island we were on, is that where your people live?" Kate asked him. I just looked ahead at the small fire.

"It's just where we work," He replied.

"Work on what?" Kate asked.

"Projects," Karl replied, being ever so helpful.

"Oh, sure," Sawyer answered, "like the 'steal a kid off the raft' project? That was a hum-dinger."

"So you don't actually live on that island?" Kate asked. Karl shook his head.

"Nope."

"Do you live here? On this island?" She asked. I shook my head at her question. Where else would they live? Under water?

"Yes, ma'am," Karl replied. Kate nodded, looking curious.

"And what did you do with the people that you took?" She asked. I looked to Karl on this. "The kids?"

"We give them a better life," He said, still staring at the darkening sky.

"Better than what?" Kate asked, asking the same question I asked. On this, Karl looked at her.

"Better than yours," He replied. Kate frowned at Sawyer. "There's not gonna be any moon tonight," Karl said, looking back up at the sky. "It'll be dark. Me and Alex used to lie in my backyard at night, make up names for the constellations. You can't see it yet, but right there will be Ursa Theodoris," He said, pointing into the sky. "A teddy bear."

"You had backyards?" Sawyer asked him.

"Yeah," Karl replied, looking longingly into the sky.

"Well ain't that quaint," Sawyer said, eating his fruit. I sat back, leaning on my arms. After a while, the sun went down, and Karl was right; there was no moon, and it was so dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. I laid down and tried to sleep. Sawyer laid down near me, and Kate was off to herself a bit. Karl fell asleep where he was, slightly separate from us. It was hard to distinguish between when my eyes were open and closed because of the darkness, but it didn't take me long to fall asleep on the dirt.

* * *

Sawyer got up, and woke me up with him. I looked up to see Kate, worried about something.

"What?" I asked, standing up.

"Sawyer, wake up," Kate ordered, walking around. "He's gone!" Kate called back to us. I looked around; I couldn't see Karl. "Karl's gone!"

"Where?" Sawyer asked, still waking up. We walked around a little. I heard something through the woods. Sawyer must have, too, because he shushed Kate. I listened to hear Karl crying. Kate took a step forward, but Sawyer stopped her. "I got it," He told her.

"No, let me talk to him," Kate said, trying to move forward. Sawyer kept her back, though.

"No, I got it," Sawyer repeated.

"Let me," I said. Sawyer looked to me, then to where Karl was, and back. He nodded. I walked forward through the trees to see him sitting on a log. He heard me coming, and quieted himself, drying his tears. I came up to him slowly and knelt down to his left behind him.

"You okay?" I asked him, putting my hand on his shoulder. He was silent. I sat down on the log next to him, putting my hand on his knee. "Alex?" I asked. He looked to me as if to assure me I was right, then back down at his knees. I put my other hand on his back. "Karl, I promised her I'd take care of you, and, even though you're feeling better, I think she would want…" Before I could finish my sentence, he turned to me and kissed me. I leaned backwards in surprise, and pushed him off of me. He looked to me, surprised at himself as I looked at him with confusion.

"I'm sorry!" He said, waving his hands in front of him. "I didn't mean to… I wasn't… I'm sorry, I didn't think that…" as he frantically tried to explain himself, I started to laugh. "Are you laughing?" He asked me. I nodded a little as I covered my mouth.

"Hey!" Sawyer yelled. I turned to see him fast approaching. He must have seen him kiss me. "What the hell…"

"It's okay, Sawyer," I said, smiling and shaking my head. Karl put his head in his hands, embarrassed and ashamed. Sawyer came up next to him, and when Karl wasn't prepared, punched him in the arm.

"Ow!" Karl yelled as Sawyer walked in front of us. "What the hell was that for?!" Karl asked, half angry, half depressed.

"So you'd cowboy up," Sawyer told him, crouching in front of us. "Cryin' in the jungle," He said. I kind of chuckled. "Thought you people were supposed to be tough…"

"I am tough!" Karl said, pushing Sawyer. Sawyer looked skeptically at Karl.

"Sure you are, Bobby," He said. Karl looked confused at him, thinking Sawyer forgot his name. "Bobby? The Brady Bunch?"

"What the hell's the Brady Bunch?" Karl asked, holding his shoulder in anger. Sawyer looked somewhat defenseless at Karl's little knowledge of television.

"Okay," He said. "Anyway, look, Karl… I been with a lot of girls," Sawyer said. I stood up.

"Well, looks like it's time for me to go," I said, starting to walk away.

"Sit down, San Diego," He said. I chuckled a little as I stood behind Sawyer. He sat down next to Karl on the log where I was. "I been with a lot of girls. Some of them worth the trouble… some not. Every now and again, there's one," He said. He turned to Karl, and Karl looked back at him, his tear stained face looking pathetic and tired. "One you name dumb stars with," He said, putting it in perspective. I laughed. "So this girl… Sally Slingshot…"

"Alex," Karl said, defending her name.

"Yeah," Sawyer replied. "You love her?" He asked. Karl looked at me, then to Sawyer, then back down at his lap.

"More than anything," He said.

"Then go back to wherever the hell your yards are and get her back," Sawyer said. I smiled at his advice.

"If I get caught… they'll kill me this time," Karl said.

"Well," Sawyer said, standing up. "At least it'll be worth it." He smiled down at Karl and walked to me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me away with him. I grabbed his hand and held it as we walked back to Kate together. I smiled, not wanting to say anything, but proud of him for his advice to Karl. He seemed like a real parent, someone really dependable. We arrived back at the dead fire, where Kate sat. She looked upset.

"Where's Karl?" She asked.

"I let 'im go," He said. She stood up angrily.

"You what?" She asked.

"I let him go," Sawyer repeated. I walked past them and sat down on an exposed tree root.

"He could'a led us back to where they live!" Kate yelled.

"What? You think I cut him loose 'cause I'm so damn sensitive?" He asked. I looked up at him, confused. "The kid's a target!" He yelled as Kate walked past him, angry. "Ben ain't never gonna stop lookin' for him, so you…"

"All Ben wants is that kid as far from his daughter as possible," Kate told him.

"Let's get back to camp," Sawyer said, walking towards me. Kate rolled her eyes, angry. "Are you comin' or not?" Sawyer asked, turning back to her. She shrugged.

"Should I walk beside you, or ten paces behind you?" She asked, furious with him. Sawyer looked upset in every way. "You've gotten so good at telling me what to do, I can't think for myself anymore!" She yelled.

"Don't take it out on me cause you feel guilty," Sawyer said.

"I don't feel guilty!" Kate replied. I was confused. What were we talking about, because it wasn't about Karl anymore…

"The hell you don't!" Sawyer relied. Kate walked furiously past me to Sawyer.

"We had to leave Jack behind! I didn't have a choice!" She yelled. I understood more now, but Sawyer confused me.

"I'm not talkin' about leavin' Jack behind," He said. He approached her. "I'm talkin' about you and me." Kate stopped talking. I felt incredibly awkward, but I didn't want to make things weirder by getting up now and calling attention to myself. "I know you did it cause you thought I was a dead man," He said. I was so utterly confused… I knew something happened, but I wasn't sure what. I sure as hell wasn't going to ask, though. "So don't beat yourself up cause the doc's left behind." Kate backed away from him.

"I'm not beatin' myself up," She said.

"Course you're not," He replied. He took a quick look at my confused face. "So now that we got that out of the way, let's go," He said. Kate walked past him silently. I looked to Sawyer. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. He silently looked at the ground, then at me. "You comin' or what?" He angrily asked me. I stood up quietly, then followed Kate's direction. He followed behind me, and we made our way silently back to the beach. When it got dark, we lit some branches so that we could walk longer, but we remained silent. I just wanted to be home.

**S****o not a lot of developments for Carmen, but Sawyer and Kate are establishing their lovely little love triangle!! (Carmen doesn't know that yet, though, so shhh! Don't tell her!!)**


	53. Tricia Tanaka is Dead

**Alright, so back to school has been crazy... sorry! I'm going to try to keep writing and posting, but I might miss a day here and there. Just check once a day and see if I've posted! I'll work really hard!! Here's Tricia Tanaka is Dead!**

We got up that morning when the sun hadn't come up yet, probably around 5:00 a.m. We were tired, and none of us had talked much the past day, or the night before. I was exhausted: my knees hurt, I was tired, I was hungry, I felt weak, and I stubbed my toe, and it really hurt. I stayed silent, though, wanting only to get back to the beach and to sleep in my own tent.

"Are we there yet?" Sawyer whined from behind me.

"If we are where I think we are," Kate answered, "then our beach should be just through those trees. We'll be home in about five minutes." I started walking faster at that, not realizing we were so close to home.

"Try to contain your excitement, freckles," Sawyer said from behind us. I reached Kate and started to pass her.

"Forgive me if I'm not excited about explaining why there's only three of us coming back, James," She said.

"Well maybe they should explain why they ain't come lookin' for us," Sawyer suggested. I walked ahead of Kate. "In fact, I'd be surprised if Locke OW!" I turned around to see Sawyer falling down onto a tree root, holding his foot.

"What happened?" Kate asked, hurrying back. I hurried behind her. She knelt down and looked at his foot as I stood behind her.

"I stepped on somethin', son of a bitch…" He whined. I looked down to see a dart in his shoe.

"Looks like a dart," Kate said.

"How the hell did it get out here?" He asked.

"Alright, just relax your foot for a second, okay? I'm gonna pull it out," Kate said. Sawyer looked anxiously at his foot. "On the count of three, ready? One…" Kate pulled the dart out.

"OW! I thought you said three!" He yelled.

"Yeah, well anticipation is the worst part, I thought I would spare you," Kate laughed. I turned around, ready to go home. Kate sat down next to him. I looked back at them as they looked at each other, both embarrassed at each others' presence.

"Look, if you say the beach is right there, I'd prefer to go home, so I'll see you back there," I said, walking away. I pushed aside branches and twigs until I saw the bright yellow sand. I stepped into it, feeling the warm salty air on my face and I knew I was home. I stepped to my left and walked up the beach to see camp. People were getting up and hurrying over to me. Nikki ran over to me and hugged me.

"When did you get back?" She asked, as if she missed something. I smiled.

"Just now," I replied. Charlie ran over to me.

"Carmen!" He yelled. I threw my arms around him and hugged him. Compared to me, everyone here was so clean. I wanted to change clothes. Sun ran up to me and I hugged her.

"Where is Kate? And Jack, Sawyer…"

"Kate and Sawyer are coming, I just walked ahead," I said. Before she could ask me where Jack was, I turned to Claire and hugged her, rubbing my hand over Aaron's head. "How's he doing?" I asked her. She smiled.

"Great, he's great," She smiled. I threw my arms back around her. "I'm glad you came back alright," She said. I smiled, and I could feel a tear fall onto my cheek. I wiped it away while I hugged her, then released her.

"Me too," I said. Locke came up next to her. I gave him a respectful hug, not feeling too close to him, but knowing him too well to leave him with a handshake. Sayid came up behind him and hugged me. I smiled at people as they congratulated me on coming home safely yet again.

"Thought you said it would just be a couple of days," I heard someone say. I turned to see Desmond, wearing a tighter-fitting dark purple shirt and cargos. I smiled at him.

"Yeah, well… I guess I was wrong," I said. He walked up to me as I noticed the crowd around me thinned. Sawyer and Kate were there behind me, so people were saying hello to them. Desmond smiled down at me.

"You're okay?" He asked. I nodded, looking away from him.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm okay," I smiled. He smiled wider and gave me a hug. I felt comfortable and at home again.

"While you're all here, I have to tell you all something," Kate yelled. "It's about Jack." While she started to talk about Jack, I decided to change.

"You still living in my tent?" I asked Desmond. He laughed a little, then shook his head.

"No," He said. I smiled.

"Good. Because I need to change," I said. I hurried off to my tent, where I grabbed an airline blanket and a fresh pair of clothes. I walked further down the beach and took off my pants and shirt, then walked into the cool water. I swam in the ocean a bit, bathing. I got back out and got dressed in clean clothes, then put my hair up. By the time I got back, Kate had told everyone about Jack, and they were going about their daily business. I walked over to where Desmond stood at his tent, tying a tarp up to protect him from rain. "Let me help you," I said. I grabbed a piece of the tarp and started tying it.

"Thanks," He said, smiling at me. I smiled back.

"So what happened while I was gone?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Quite a lot," He said. I chuckled.

"Okay, more specifically?" I asked. He smiled, then seemed to be more serious.

"So when's it gonna happen?" Charlie asked from behind me. I turned around.

"Hey, Charlie," I greeted him with a smile.

"Desmond," Charlie said. I turned to Desmond, who looked seriously at the tarp.

"When's what gonna happen?" He asked calmly.

"Don't play stupid with me. Brother," Charlie said. I turned around, looking between the two.

"What's going on?" I asked. Desmond walked forward to Charlie.

"I was drunk… you know if I said anything…"

"I have a right to know when I'm gonna die," Charlie said. I walked forward, looking confusedly between the two.

"What are you talking about?" I asked Charlie. He stared Desmond down. I looked to Desmond, clueless as to what they were talking about.

"It doesn't work like that," Desmond said.

"What doesn't work like that?" Charlie asked.

"Hey, Oliver Twists!" Sawyer called. I put my hand on my head in confusion. "Where the hell's my stuff?"

"What stuff?" Charlie asked, confused.

"You know good damn well what stuff. I had books, food, porno, bottle of scotch…" Sawyer angrily yelled.

"Aye… uh, apologizes for the scotch, mate," Desmond said, looking to Charlie. Sawyer looked between the two.

"You drank it?!" He asked.

"Well, to be fair, there was uh… there was three of us," He nodded to Charlie. Sawyer looked angrily at Charlie.

"Yeah, there was," Charlie added.

"You, the munchkin and who else?" Sawyer asked Desmond.

"Uh, Hurley," Desmond said. I looked to Desmond.

"Hurley?" I asked. I hadn't seen Hurley yet. Sawyer stormed off angrily, and Charlie walked off himself. Desmond went back to tying his tarp. "Hold on!" I yelled at him. He looked confused at me.

"What?" He asked, as if nothing had happened.

"What? What was all that?! Charlie is gonna die? What? And you all drank Sawyer's bottle of scotch, Hurley drank scotch?" I yelled. He frowned a little, continuing to tie. I put my hand on his. "Desmond," I said. He stopped and turned to me. "What is going on?" He was about to tell me something when Sawyer came up behind us.

"Where is Jabba?" He asked. Desmond frowned and turned to him.

"I'll take you," He said.

"Des!"I yelled, giving him an official nickname. He turned to me, looking half upset and half… hopeful. He smiled.

"I'll come right back, and I'll tell you everything," He said. I folded my hands over my chest.

"You better!" I called after him. While he was gone, I finished tying his tarp. I then realized… Desmond had been gone for over an hour. "Right back, my ass."

* * *

I walked in to Claire's tent.

"Hey," She greeted me. I smiled.

"Hey," I calmly replied. I sat down with her on her bed. "Do you have a hairbrush I could borrow?" I asked. She smiled.

"Uh, yeah," She said, reaching off of her bed. She pulled out a small travel size brush. "This one's an extra… you can have it," She said. I smiled.

"Thanks," I smiled. I got up and walked towards my tent, but stopped when I saw Desmond, smiling brightly and walking towards me. "So much for 'be right back,'" I said. He smiled and threw his arm around me.

"We started it!" He laughed.

"Started what?" I asked.

"The van!" He said excitedly. I frowned at him.

"Van? What van?" I asked. He smiled and took me to his tent. We sat and talked for a while, about how the hatch exploded, and when it did, Locke had some epiphany, and Eko eventually died. He told me about his visions: that he kept seeing Charlie die, and that he kept saving him, but he didn't know what the visions meant. He told me Hurley found this van out in the jungle, and that today, they got it started. We sat and talked for a few hours, until the sun collapsed and the small sliver of the moon shone. I smiled at him softly through the comfortable night air. I guess he filled me in sufficiently. I closed my eyes for a moment when he left to go get us some food, seeing as he never had dinner, but by the time he got back, I was already asleep.

**I tried to keep that last part fitting with the "shambala" ending in the real episode. Anyway, talk to you tomorrow!!**


	54. Enter 77

**Alright, so school's hectic right now. I need time to work on my school stuff, so I'll post again on Saturday morning, by noon, okay? Alright! Enjoy Enter 77!**

My eyes slowly opened. I was lying sideways on a blue airplane blanket, looking out at the sand, the ocean, and the rising sun beyond it. I took a deep breath in, remembering where I was: Desmond's tent. I put my hand to my head and brushed the hair out of my eyes.

"Morning," I heard from behind me. I rolled over, my hand hanging over my stomach, to see Desmond, holding a coconut shell-bowl with fruit salad in it. He pushed another towards me. I sat up, smiling. "I was wondering how late you'd sleep," He added.

"You could've waked me up," I said, grabbing the bowl and holding it, curling my knees up to my chest.

"You looked so sweet, with the sun on your face and all," He chuckled. I smiled.

"No, I meant last night. You didn't have to let me sleep here, you should've waked me up and told me to go to my tent," I said, taking a slice of a green apple from the bowl. I took a bite, and the juicy fruit flooded into my dry mouth. Desmond smiled cutely.

"Well… couldn't bring myself to do it," He said. I smiled back at him, happy to be home and safe. Sawyer walked past the tent, looking upset.

"You okay?" I asked him. He looked down at me, changing his expression from upset to frustrated.

"The hell are you doin?" He asked me. I looked down at my fruit salad.

"Eating?" I replied. He looked to Desmond, and he looked back at me like he wanted to comment on my being with him, but he shook his head.

"Look, you seen Kate?" He asked. I thought… I hadn't really seen her since we got back yesterday.

"No," I replied.

"Oy, she not back yet?" Desmond calmly asked.

"Where'd she go?" Sawyer asked him.

"To wherever those other people are, mate. Locke and Sayid went with her… yesterday," Des said. I looked up at Sawyer.

"Did she tell you?" He asked me. I shook my head in confusion. Why would Kate go after Jack and not tell either of us about it? We were with her… I was confused, but Sawyer walked off, and I felt like I should drop it.

"So I told you about what happened over here… what happened over there?" Desmond asked me. I smiled, and while we ate our fruit salads, I told him everything I could, from Tom's fake beard to the brainwashing facility. I left out the part about Karl, though; I didn't think he needed to know Karl kissed me. I knew Karl didn't mean to, and that he really did love Alex.

"And we hiked back across the island, and… ta-da," I finished. He smiled.

"A better life?" He asked, remembering what Ben told me. I nodded. "Via brainwashing…" he continued. I laughed.

"I honestly like my life here," I said. He turned to me, almost saddened by the fact that I liked living on a deserted island. "Life here is easy. No bills, no taxes, no huge responsibilities, no huge problems… no worries," I said. He slowly nodded. He was quiet for a while. "You okay?" He nodded.

"Yeah," He said. He smiled at me. "You done?" He asked me, pointing to my empty bowl. I smiled and nodded. We got up together and made our way to the kitchen, where we put our bowls down on a small tray that someone took every night and cleaned dishes on in the ocean. I smiled at our quaint little kitchen; all it was missing was a Cuisinart. Charlie started walking past us, really excited about something.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"Hurley and Sawyer are going to play each other in ping pong in, like… fifteen minutes. If Hurley wins, Sawyer's got no nicknames for a week," Charlie told us.

"Oh! Today's entertainment! Let's go watch!" I excitedly said as I pulled Desmond behind me towards the ping pong table.

* * *

I folded my arms across my chest as Sawyer walked forward, grabbing the ball from the table.

"So did you pick, or what?" He asked. Hurley stepped forward and picked up the paddle from the table. "So, you're really the number one draft pick, Grimace?"

"Yep," Hurley nervously replied. Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Are we playin' with the mercy rule?"

"Mercy rule?"

"Yeah, like, if I'm up 11-0, then I, you know, automatically win," He said, still looking around, kind of nervous.

"You're gonna go up 11-0?" Sawyer skeptically asked.

"Nah, I mean, either one of us," Hurley replied. Sawyer smiled.

"Sure. We can have a mercy rule," Sawyer answered.

"You wanna volley first serve?" Hurley asked. Sawyer smiled.

"I'll tell you what: be my guest," He said, tossing the ball over to Hurley.

"It's on!" I called out. The cheers from fellow survivors surrounded me. Sawyer skeptically laughed.

"Zero serving zero," Hurley called out. He served the ball hard, and Sawyer hit it back, but with Hurley's return pass, Sawyer realized that that mercy rule might come in handy after all. We all cheered for Hurley, as he beat Sawyer. A few points later, Hurley hit the ball hard, and Sawyer misjudged it and jumped right in front of the ball; it hit him in the forehead. He looked kind of ashamed, but Sawyer needed to be beat down a bit. He'd obviously been ordering around Kate a bit too much, and he was getting a little snappy with me.

"15-3!" Charlie yelled out. Sawyer slammed his paddle against the table and walked off furiously as Hurley was congratulated. I ignored Sawyer; it was just a game, and he'd get over it. I walked back to my tent, with Desmond following me.

"Good game, huh?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Not really a big ping-pong fan," He said. I laughed.

"What, you lived down in the hatch for three years and you never once played ping pong," I asked. He smiled.

"I played, I just… didn't like it, is all," He said. I smiled at him as I sat down on my bed in my tent. He sat down next to me.

"It feels so good to be home," I said, leaning on his shoulder, looking up at the sky. He played with my hair a little, then let me be. "Thanks for keeping me company," I said. He laughed.

"Aye… same."

**Aww, BFF's! Alright, remember... Saturday at noon!! That way I'm not as stressed, and can really take time and write the next one well... see you then!!**


	55. Par Avion

**I am SOOO sorry! I haven't written in forever, but you know how it gets: life gets busy! Okay, here's Par Avion!**

When I woke up, it was in my own tent. I was facing the tarp, and laying on my airplane-seat bed. I heard a release of breath from behind me. I rolled over, my blanket slipping down from my hips, to see Desmond, sitting up, facing the ocean. I sat up and put my hand on his back. He tensed up, but didn't look back at me. He seemed nervous… even scared.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He turned back to look at me, and I could see anxiety and stress in his expression. "What happened?" I asked. He shook his head and looked back at the water. I pulled myself closer to him, putting my hands on his shoulders, and laying my head against his back. He put his right hand on top of my left, and rested his chin on it. "What's wrong? Tell me," I asked calmly, inching my face up closer to his. He sighed, then reached his face down and kissed my hand. I sat up, somewhat surprised, but more confused. He didn't look back at me, though. He got up and hurried out of the tent, heading in the direction of his own. I wanted to call after him, but words wouldn't come. I wanted to chase after him, but my legs wouldn't move. I looked down at my hand, still feeling his touch against my skin. I looked up, hoping to see him again, but he was gone. I sat perplexed for several minutes. After a while, I pushed the blanket off of my lap and slipped my legs off the side of my bed. I put my shoes on and got up. I changed shirts, and then walked out onto the beach, looking around for Desmond; but of course, he was nowhere to be seen. I walked over to Sun and Jin, who were just down the beach. Sun was holding Aaron, and Jin was cooking something in a big pot. "Hey, have you seen Desmond?" I asked Sun. She shook her head, looking up at me.

"No. Why?" She asked me. I shook my head.

"No reason," I replied, looking further down the beach. I knelt down next to her and held Aaron's hand. "Hey, Aaron! How are you?" Aaron smiled as I tickled his cheeks.

"Sun! Jin!" Claire yelled. She was sprinting over to us.

"Claire, what's the matter?" Sun asked.

"I need Jin's nets and fish," She answered. "We better hurry… and buckets, I'm gonna need those too…" Jin said something to Sun in Korean, pointing at Claire. "We have to catch the birds," Claire explained. However, the explanation wasn't very useful.

"What birds?" Sun asked.

"They just flew over, and they're only gonna be here today, so if we're gonna catch one, we need to do it now," Claire said, trying to rush Sun into action.

"Well this sounds like fun!" Sawyer called over from his seat where he was reading a book. We stared at him for a moment.

"Could you get some nets?" Claire asked Jin.

"Nets for what, Barb…" Sawyer said. Sun turned back to him, seeing a nickname come on. Sawyer stopped midsentence, and sat up, taking off his glasses. "Nets for what, Claire?" Claire rolled her eyes, annoyed at having to explain herself again.

"Okay, five minutes ago, a flock of sea-birds flew over my head. Sea-birds are migratory, which means they're gonna keep heading south," She said, assuming we'd catch on.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand why we need to…" Sun started.

"They're tagged!" Claire said excitedly.

"Tagged?" Jin asked, holding up fishing nets for her. Claire motioned to her bracelet.

"Scientists tag these birds so they can track them," Claire replied, taking the nets. "So when they eventually land in Australia, or New Zealand, or wherever… somebody's gonna gather them up!" Claire said excitedly. By now, Charlie was near me, looking across the beach. I followed his gaze to see Desmond, holding his hunting gun, standing sternly across the beach.

"We can send a message," Sun said, understanding. I stood up, looking to Desmond, and then back at Charlie, who looked concerned.

"If we can catch one," Claire answered. "Okay, so here's the plan: first, we gotta cut up these fish, make chum, that'll get the birds to settle in the water. Then, um, we're gonna need to cut up some of this net… Charlie, can you go get some knives?" She asked. I kept my gaze fixed on Charlie, who looked distressed as he stared at the ground. "Um… Charlie? Charlie!" She called to him. He snapped out of his dazed look and looked up at her.

"Yeah?" He asked, still looking lost in his own thoughts. "Uh… how do you even know this stuff about birds, Claire?"

"Um, I watched a lot of nature shows with my mom," She said.

"Doesn't exactly make you an expert," Charlie noted. I looked at Claire to see a frustrated, confused expression. "Just… I… I don't want to see you wasting your time, that's all." Claire shook her head in anger.

"So what happened to seizing the day?" Claire asked. Charlie shrugged.

"Sorry," He said, dismissing the attempt at rescue. "Don't see the point." He walked away. I looked back over to where Desmond was, to see him walking down the beach. I stood up.

"Good luck," I said, turning back to Claire before I hurried down the beach after Desmond. "Hey!" I called after him. He stopped and turned back to me, but as soon as he saw me, he lowered his eyes. I stopped in front of him. "What's going on?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"I have to go," He answered, turning to walk away. I grabbed his arm, making him stop in his steps, but he avoided looking at me.

"Is it Charlie?" I asked him. He turned his head closer to me, but didn't look at me. "Is he gonna… will he die?" I asked him. He looked at me, frowning.

"I'm working on it," He said, turning away. He pulled away from me, leaving my hands empty, wishing for more of an explanation.

* * *

I sat on my bed, thinking. Charlie was sitting on Claire's bed in her tent. What would it feel like to have someone know you might die? What would it mean? Poor Desmond: to have to deal with that kind of pressure would be insanely traumatic and depressing. I shook my head and walked over to the 'kitchen,' where I got an apple. I walked back to my tent, chewing at the juicy fruit as I sat back down on my bed. After a few moments of silent thought, Claire stormed past me towards her tent, where Charlie still sat near Aaron.

"What's going on with you, Charlie?" Claire asked. I put the apple down on my bed and walked slowly over towards Claire, listening from a bit of a distance.

"Shhh! I just put Aaron down," Charlie said, leaving the shelter.

"No, you and Desmond! What's going on?" Claire demanded. I was curious to see if Charlie would tell her; he should have. She deserved to know.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Charlie started.

"So you don't know anything about Desmond shooting off his gun, and scaring away the birds?" Claire asked, fully well aware of the real answer.

"I've been with Aaron," Charlie answered, feeling attacked, "All morning."

"You're lying to me, Charlie," Claire answered.

"I am not lying!" He answered. Claire turned away, frustrated and annoyed.

"What happened to the guy who woke up this morning?" She asked. "Who wanted to go and have a picnic, and seize the day?"

"You really wanna know the truth?" Charlie asked. I stared him down, wondering if he'd tell her. "That glint you saw could have been anything," He said. "A piece of glass, stuck in the birds foot. Or it could have been nothing at all! I don't wanna advocate false hope, Claire, that's all!" That was definitely not the 'truth' I expected to hear. I felt bad; Claire must have felt so betrayed.

"I'm sorry I bothered you with my stupid ideas, and… it won't ever happen again," She said, walking into her shelter. Charlie followed her.

"Claire…"

"And, Charlie, I don't want my baby around liars," She said.

"I think you might be overreacting," Charlie suggested, leaning against the shelter.

"Overreacting! No! I thought you were here for me, that I could count on you! And I was wrong..."

"No… Claire!" Charlie begged.

"No, I'm on my own… and at least I know that now," Claire said, kneeling next to Aaron.

"Claire…"

"Just go!" Claire yelled at him. I didn't know if I should tell her the real truth or not. After Charlie had walked far enough off, I walked over to the shelter.

"Claire?" I asked. She looked back at me.

"Yeah?" She answered, holding Aaron's hand. I didn't want to tell her: it wasn't my place.

"I just thought..." I said. She turned back at me. I sighed. "I think you should talk to Desmond." She shook her head.

"I've talked to Desmond…"

"Talk to him alone," I said. She frowned a little. I walked back to my tent and ate my apple, thinking complacently.

* * *

I sat on the sand, looking at the waves lapping onto the sand.

"Mind if I join you?" Someone asked. I turned around to see Desmond standing behind me calmly. I nodded, and he sat down next to me. We stared out at the ocean for a while silently. "I told Claire," He said. I looked over at him.

"What?" I asked.

"I told Claire about Charlie… I dunno if she believed me, but..." Desmond said. I nodded.

"What did you see?" I asked him. He stared out at the ocean complacently.

"Did you hear what Claire was on about this morning? With the birds?" He asked after a brief hesitation. I nodded. "Charlie tried to catch one down the beach. He slipped and fell… the waves pushed him against a cliff and… he drowned." I nodded, looking back out at the water.

"I'm sorry," I said, realizing how hard it would be to know he held Charlies life in his hands. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. He got up silently and walked off, heading back to his tent. However, I sat there on the beach, thinking about the course of the day. Even when the days were so strange and hard like today, I felt like I was at home… more at home than I'd ever felt. When Desmond kissed my hand this morning, though, my mind seemed to flip. I didn't know if I should talk to him about it… he didn't seem to want to bring it up. I curled my legs into my chest and stared out at the horizon. Several hours later, I gazed across the beach to see Claire and Charlie release a sea-bird, as it joined a flock departing for a more southward territory. I knew nothing would come of the message she had sent, but it was good for her to have hope, whether it was false or real… hope is really all we need.

**Again, I tried to keep this in the theme of the end of Par Avian. Anyway, I'm really going to try to write more! SORRY!!**


	56. Expose

**Okay, so The Man From Tallahassee focuses exclusively over at New-Otherton, so we're moving on to Expose! I'm sorry it took me so long to write.. I had a busy summer and just moved into my dorm (go mountaineers!)… enjoy!**

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Sawyer?" I asked, giggling to myself as he slammed his paddle on the ping-pong table.

"Just serve, Jabba," Sawyer demanded Hurley. Hurley served calmly as Sawyer struggled to return the ball. Quickly, the match was over. "Alright, let's go one more."

"You said best out of five," Hurley said, leaning on the table.

"Yeah, well now we're going best of seven," Sawyer said. Hurley stared at Sawyer for a moment, then stood up. I heard twigs breaking off to my right, and someone breathing heavily. I turned to see Nikki stumble out of the jungle, looking tired and bewildered. "Ah," Sawyer said, realizing it was no one to be nervous about. She stumbled on to the sand.

"Uh, you okay?" Hurley asked. I slowly stood.

"Nikki?" I asked. Nikki fell to the sand and propped herself up on her arm. I ran over to her frantically as she face planted into the sand. "Nikki!" I yelled. I rolled her onto her back.

"What happened?" Hurley asked nervously, kneeling next to her with Sawyer. Nikki whispered something… I couldn't make out what it was.

"What the hell's she sayin?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't know," Hurley whispered.

"Let's get her some water," Sawyer said frantically, getting up and running to the tree line. "Get help," He directed Hurley.

"Nikki," I whispered. Her breath began to settle… and then it stopped.

"What are you doin? Get movin!" Sawyer yelled. I shook my head as I put my hands to my mouth.

"Dude," Hurley said quietly, "Nikki's dead."

"Who the hell's Nikki?" Sawyer asked. We sat in silence for a moment. I looked up at Hurley after a while.

"Hurley, go get Sun," I said. He looked up at me oddly, then got up and went. Sawyer stayed next to me.

"You okay?" He asked me. I nodded. I looked over Nikki's body, searching for some kind of wound; something to indicate her cause of death. But nothing could be found. Hurley came back shortly with Sun, Jin and Charlie. I guess that's what I got for sending Hurley.

"Oh," Sun whimpered, kneeling next to me. Jin, Charlie and Hurley knelt by Nikki's dead body as well.

"What happened?" Charlie asked.

"We don't know… she's got no gunshot wound, no knife wound, no… polar bear bite, nothing," I said, contemplating how she could have died.

"Maybe it was something she ate," Sun suggested.

"Maybe she was poisoned," Charlie further stipulated. He reached to Nikki's body and grabbed her hand.

"We should check the food supply to see if anyone else is sick," Sun suggested.

"She's got gunk… under her fingernails," Charlie said, examining her hand. "Where'd you find her?" He asked Sawyer. He shrugged.

"Right here," He answered, "She stumbled out of the jungle… face planted… said something like 'ply wood,' and… sayonara."

"Actually, I think she said 'power lines,'" Hurley said. Sawyer shook his head.

"Who the hell knows what she said, she was five seconds from dying… probably seein' a light at the end of the tunnel…"

"Paulo lies!" Hurley interrupted Sawyer. "That's what she said! Paulo lies, not power lines! Paulo lies!"

"Who the hell's Paulo?" Sawyer asked in return.

"Paulo's her… husband, or boyfriend, or whatever! They live down the beach," Hurley explained.

"Well, where the hell is he? 'Cause if he lies, then that might be a good place to start," Sawyer offered.

"I'll go check and see if he's in his tent," Charlie offered. I looked to Sun as Charlie left.

"I think it's a good idea to check the food supply… ask anyone if they've felt sick, if anyone's felt dizzy or lightheaded or nauseus," I said. Sun got up and walked away towards the group kitchen. After a few moments, Charlie came back.

"He's not in his tent," He said. Jin said something in Korean, pointing at the tree line where Nikki came from.

"Maybe he's back where she came from," I said, understanding Jin.

"We should follow her trail back," Charlie said. We all stood up. Sawyer led the way, following her trail. We were walking for quite a while before anyone said anything. "You sure we're going the right way?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, this is the trail," Sawyer said, brushing away bushes and leaves. After a few more seconds, Hurley piped up.

"Dude, you sure?" He asked.

"I'm tellin' you, this is the trail," Sawyer answered, turning to look at Hurley.

"What do you know about tracking?" Hurley whined.

"Well, I know what a footprint is," Sawyer answered snidely.

"Guys," I said, trying to calm everyone.

"Over here," Jin said quietly. I turned to my right and pushed aside a branch to see Paulo on his back, staring wide eyed at the sky above him. He was stiff and silent; dead.

"Wow," Hurley said in astonishment.

"I'm guessin' that's Paulo," Sawyer said. I reached down to him and looked him over.

"I don't see any wounds…"

"He's just like Nikki… no, wound, nothin'," He shouted over to Sawyer. Jin knelt opposite me and said something in Korean to Hurley.

"Yeah, I know," Hurley said, not understanding Jin. "Why are his pants undone? And why's his shoe in that tree?" I looked up to see Sawyer holding a shoe that was lodged between the branches of a tree.

"Maybe he stepped on something,'" Sawyer said, tossing the show to Hurley. Jin opened Paulo's backpack and rooted through it. I brushed Paulo's hair out of his eyes, still absorbing the impact of his death.

"You see somethin'?" Hurley asked. I looked up to see Sawyer, looking deeper into the jungle. "Sawyer?"

"Nothin,'" Sawyer said, seeming disappointed in his lack of discovery. "No!" Sawyer shouted. He hurried to Jin, who had opened a water bottle. He took the bottle. "Don't," He said softer. He poured all of the water on to the ground.

"Dude, what are you doin'?" Hurley asked.

"Two people are dead, you ever think they might've been poisoned?" Sawyer asked.

"That's evidence!" Hurley said. Sawyer shook his head. "You're messin' up the crime scene…"

"Crime scene? There a forensics hatch I don't know about…"

"Stop!" Jin ordered. "Monster." We all looked away, considering the possibility of a smoke monster attack.

"We should take him back to the beach… we should take both of the bodies to the grave site," I said. Sawyer nodded.

"Yeah… consolidate all the bodies," Hurley said. I rolled my eyes and grabbed Paulo's things.

* * *

When we got to the beach, Desmond offered to help carry Nikki's body with me.

"So what do you think happened to them?" Desmond asked me as we carried her over the sand. I had her feet side, so mine wasn't as heavy as his.

"I don't know… they could've been poisoned, but… Jin thinks it was the smoke monster," I said.

"Like the one that killed Eko?" He asked.

"Yeah… but the only flaw in that idea is that…"

"There's no sign of any... brutality," Desmond answered for me.

"Exactly… and didn't you say that Eko was bloody all over and mutilated?" I asked.

"Yeah… it doesn't fit for it to be the smoke monster," Desmond said. We finally reached the grave site and put her body next to Paulo's. Sawyer, Hurley and Jin passed me, heading down towards Nikki's tent.

"I'm gonna go look with them, okay?" I said.

"Alright... but hey!" He said, calling after me as I started to hurry after them. "Take it easy, okay? We'll figure it out," He said. He could tell I was strung out. I smiled a little, then hurried after Sawyer. I reached the tent and stood next to Hurley.

"Hey man, be careful," Hurley said.

"Why? They don't live here anymore," Sawyer said, tossing aside a blanket.

"So, Sun checked the food," Charlie said, coming in.

"And?" I asked.

"They're eatin' the same as us, and no one else is sick," He said, looking to Hurley. I sighed. More questions, less answers… "Could be a virus," Charlie said.

"Dude… monster," Hurley said. Charlie sighed. "Creepy, they collected bugs?" I looked up and to the side to see jars with butterflies and other bugs in them.

"Ah, I think these were Artz's," Charlie said, examining a butterfly. "Collected all kinds of creepy crawlies before he… exploded…"

"They must've been friends," Hurley said. Charlie continued examining the shelf that the bugs were on, and picked up a stack of paper.

"Expose…"

"Did you just say expose?" Hurley asked, snatching what appeared to be a script out of Charlie's hands.

"Yeah…"

" 'the hell's expose?" Sawyer asked.

"Only the most awesome hour of television ever," Hurley said, flipping through the pages, "It's like Baywatch, only better."

"Better than the Hoff?" I asked. Sawyer looked at me, chuckling a little. I chuckled back.

"It's about Autumn and Crystal, two strippers that solve crimes with the help of their suave, smooth talking club owner, Mr. LaShade."

"How'd I miss that one?" Sawyer asked sarcastically. I began to wonder why she had the script…

"Check it out, look at the cast list, Nikki Fernandez," Hurley said. I looked up.

"She was an actress?" I asked.

"That's gotta be why she was in Australia," Hurley continued, "This must've been her big break." Hurley continued flipping through the script.

"Well, it certainly sounds like it," Charlie said, looking around the tent.

"No way," Hurley said, reading the script, "Mr. LaShade was the cobra?"

"Is that supposed to mean something?" Charlie asked. I laughed under my breath.

"Dude, the cobra's this big bad guy," Hurley explained. "His identity's been shrouded in mystery for four seasons." I heard a walkie- talkie behind me, and jumped, thinking someone had come to get me. Sawyer was holding the walkie-talkie in his hand.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked, slightly terrified. I knew any remnance of a smile was gone from my face; this wasn't funny.

"They had a walkie-talkie?" Hurley asked, panicked.

"Every damn one of those bastards on the other side of the island had one exactly like this hangin' from their belts," Sawyer told them. I stared at the walkie like it was one of the poisonous spiders next to me, afraid it would jump at me and ruin everything.

"So how'd Nikki and Paulo get one?" Charlie asked.

"I'll tell you how," Sawyer said, standing up. He looked down at me. "They were workin' with the others." I stood up and took the walkie from Sawyer's hands, turned it off, and gave it back to him. I didn't want that thing anywhere near me.

* * *

"Where did they get it?" Sun asked, regarding the walkie.

"I don't know…" I said.

"Okay, so they had a walkie-talkie," Hurley said. "You think they were working with the others? Like, how?" Hurley asked Sawyer.

"Like Michael," Sawyer said. The sound of his name still made me mad, and I looked down at the bodies, preferring the thoughts of their death better than Michael and his betrayal.

"If that's the case, then why did they kill Nikki and Paulo?" Charlie asked.

"Who knows why those people do anything?" Sawyer replied. "What matters is they could be out there right now, waitin' to get us," Sawyer said. I got nervous at that thought; I wanted to be somewhere safe, like in my tent, with Sawyer or Desmond… someone who I knew would protect me.

"I dunno, dude," Hurley said, looking at the bodies, "I was with the others, like, two weeks ago… they're on the total other side of the island."

"Then who dragged me into the jungle?" Sun asked, referring to when Sawyer had conned everyone into believing that it was Ana Lucia posing as the others. I knew it wasn't though… I knew it was all part of Sawyer's con, that Charlie was in on. They averted their eyes when Sun raised the topic. "The others came into our camp… they grabbed me, put a bag over my head, and if I hadn't gotten away, they would've killed me," She said. Sawyer shook his head.

"Look, ya'll stay here," Sawyer said, pulling his gun out of his pants, "I'm gonna see if I can see any sign of 'em, do a perimeter sweep."

"Where'd you get the gun?" Hurley asked.

"Got it off one of them," Sawyer said, referring to the others.

"And when were you gonna let us know?" Hurley asked.

"I guess right now," Sawyer said, walking off into the jungle.

"What exactly is a perimeter sweep?" Hurley asked, watching as Sawyer left.

"Shouldn't we cover them up?" Charlie asked Sun.

"Yes, of course," She said. They reached down and covered the bodies with blankets.

"A perimeter sweep is where he goes around and makes sure no one is in the immediate area who shouldn't be," I said. Hurley nodded. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I dunno… something doesn't feel right," He said. He slowly walked off.

* * *

"Guys!" Hurley yelled, running up to Sun, Charlie and me. I gladly took this excuse to tstop digging and dropped my shovel, while Charlie leaned on his. "Desmond said that… Sawyer and Nikki… were talking, they were yelling this morning," He said.

"What?" I asked. "He doesn't know Nikki…"

"Desmond saw them," Hurley answered. I stopped… I trusted Desmond. He never gave me reason to doubt him.

"Aw, man," Charlie said. Hurley turned to see Vincent pulling the blanket off of Paulo and Nikki.

"Vincent! Dude!" Hurley called, but Vincent kept walking away, blanket in tow.

"So he saw Sawyer and Nikki fightin,' that doesn't prove anything," Charlie said.

"Look at the facts, and ask yourself: why is Sawyer so gung-ho about investigating this?" Hurley asked. "What's in it for him?"

"Hurley, you weren't over there. If the others are coming for us, they… they did bad things to us over there," I said.

"But listen… he pretended he didn't know their names, but then he was fighting with Nikki," He said. That I didn't understand.

"Sawyer's not a murderer," Sun said. I knew in my heart differently, but Sawyer wasn't a mindless killer- he wouldn't have killed Nikki and Paulo, innocent people that he barely knew. "He went all the way across the island to help Michael. It is the others, I know what they can do."

"Okay, you know what?" Hurley asked, moving down the hill, "I'll go get Desmond, he'll tell you exactly what he saw." Hurley walked off, and I went down to the water's edge and sat down anxiously. I was confused, and didn't know what to think, or who to believe. I turned around to see Sun storm off. I looked back at Charlie to see him looking ashamed. I stood up and walked over to him.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He was silent for a second. Alll of a sudden, I just knew what happened. "You told her, didn't you?" He looked up to me, nervous.

"Did Sawyer…"

"No, I just… I pieced it together," I said. He shook his head.

"I wasn't myself," He said.

"I know," I nodded. He looked down ashamedly. I put my hand on his back. Hurley trudged back through the sand after a moment with Desmond. Des looked up at me, and we stared at each other for a moment. My hand dropped down from Charlie's back.

"Hey," Desmond said. I smiled in reply.

"Well, tell 'em what you saw," Hurley insisted.

"I, um… I saw Nikki looking really angry at Sawyer, and he was throwin' his one liners at her, and she stormed off, obviously angry about something," He said. I nodded.

"So… he knew Nikki," I said in reply, looking down at the sand.

"What now?" Charlie asked. Jin walked over with Sun, carrying another shovel. Jin was calm, and so was Sun; I assumed she hadn't told him her latest discovery.

"We'll confront Sawyer when he gets back," Hurley said, confidently. I picked up my shovel where I left it and started digging. Jin and Charlie followed suit. After a good ten minutes of digging, Desmond put his hand on my shoulder.

"Why don't you let me take over?" He asked quietly in my ear.

"I'm fine," I said, forcing my shovel deep into the sand, and throwing it away from me.

"Carmen," He said, grabbing me by my elbow, "take a break." I looked up at him, and he had a troubled expression. I let out a breath and held out the shovel. He let go of my elbow and slowly took the shovel. I stepped out of the way and got a drink. Sun said something to Jin in Korean, and they switched places, too. I offered Jin the water bottle, and he took a drink. Suddenly, everyone stopped shoveling. I looked up to see Sawyer. Desmond leaned forward on his shovel. I stepped back towards Des, feeling unprepared for what was about to happen. Sawyer was walking towards us grimly, and Hurley approached him.

"Gimme the gun," Hurley ordered.

" 'the hell you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked, walking past him.

"Give it to me," Hurley demanded again. Sawyer pulled it out of his pants and took out the magazine, only to reveal that it was empty.

"It ain't even loaded," Sawyer said.

"Then how are you sweeping the perimeter?" Hurley asked. Sawyer turned to him, annoyed. "Quit lyin,' dude. Desmond saw you fighting with Nikki this morning." Sawyer turned to where we were standing, and looked angrily at Desmond and I, making me feel guilty. Sawyer stared at Desmond as if he were an enemy, and he turned to see other grim faces staring him down, expecting answers.

"Oh, I see what this is," He said finally, "the villagers have got themselves some torches."

"Did you kill them?" Hurley asked.

"No," He said to Hurley. Then he turned to Desmond, as if spitefully proving him wrong. "No, I didn't kill them." His last words were said as if he were spitting on Desmond's face. Desmond stood resolute, though, as if intent to learn the truth. I tried to follow his example, but found myself torn. "Yeah, me and Nikki went at it this mornin'… 'cause she wanted a gun," He explained. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Hurley asked. Sawyer sighed.

"'Cause of the dirt under her nails," He said finally, looking as if he were giving up something precious.

"What?" Hurley asked, trying to look like he understood.

"She was digging," Sawyer said. "And when we found him, I saw a fresh mound of dirt. She was buryin' something. And if you take the time to dig a hole right before you die, then what you're hidin's probably pretty damn good," He explained.

"What was it?" Sun asked. "What did she hide?" Sun asked. Sawyer looked from her to me, and tightened his lips. I could see the anger in his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out, tossing it across the grave to me. I caught it carefully. It was a tiny bag, with small bead-like things in it. I opened it up and poured it's contents into my hand: diamonds. My eyes widened, and I looked to Sawyer.

"Go 'head, take 'um," He said to me. I closed my mouth. "'Cause whatever happened to those two, I had nothin' to do with it," He said, yelling particularly to me, Desmond and Hurley. He started walking away, but stopped and looked between me and Desmond. "Have fun, kiddo," He said, walking away from me. I opened my mouth again in disbelief; disbelief that I had doubted him, mistrusted him, betrayed him… and lost him. I closed my mouth again in self-consciousness and poured the diamonds bag into the bag. I felt Desmond behind me.

"Carmen," He said softly. "Are you okay?" I paused for a moment, wanting to be able to say 'fine' or 'yes,' but… I couldn't do it.

"No," I whispered. I tightened the bag closed, and handed it to Sun. "Take them," I said. She slowly pulled the bag into her hands. I walked away quickly, glad that Desmond didn't follow.

* * *

I had lain on my bed for about ten minutes, facing the tarp, before he came. I heard footsteps enter my tent, and he sat down next to me on the bed. He placed his hand on my bicep, and moved slowly up to my shoulder.

"You okay?" Desmond finally asked. I shook my head no, and rolled over to face him. A few tears had stained my face, and he frowned at the sight of my sadness. "Carmen…"

"I should've trusted him... I shouldn't have listened to Hurley…"

"How could you know?" He asked.

"Because I do know!" I said louder. Desmond stopped. I sat up next to him. "I mean… I know Sawyer. He protected me, he saved me from being brainwashed, he's saved my life countless times! I should… I know better… and I betrayed him…"

"No…"

"Yes!" I yelled back, tears rising to my eyes. "And being with you, he must hate me more…"

"Carmen!" Desmond yelled over me, grabbing me by my shoulders. "He doesn't hate you. He's mad, granted, but he doesn't hate you. Carmen, you're an amazing girl… an amazing woman, who is smart, beautiful… just… practically perfect. In every way. He'd be crazy to give that up," He said to me. I leaned over onto him and laid my head against his chest as he held me.

"I feel like I'm not good enough for him," I said softly.

"How? He just stole from dead people…"

"Des," I said, stopping him from scolding Sawyer.

"Sorry," He replied, rubbing my back

"He wrote me off," I said. Desmond stopped rubbing my back.

"What?"

"When he aid 'have fun, kiddo?' That was his way of saying 'friendship over,'" I explained. I felt Desmond shake his head.

"No... I mean, maybe he said that, but he didn't mean it... he'll come around in a couple of days," Des explained. It made me sick to think that I'd have to wait days for sawyer to talk to me again, but at least I had Desmond. He held me for another twenty minutes or so. I felt safe and comfortable, but the thought of Sawyer lingered in my mind… I missed him…

* * *

"You ready?" Des asked me. I sighed and stood up.

"Yeah," I answered. We walked up together to the grave that Nikki and Paulo lay in. Sawyer and Hurley, as well as many other people stood next to the grave.

"Nikki and Paulo," Hurley started his eulogy, "I guess we didn't really know you very well… and it appears, you killed each other for diamonds. But I know there are good parts to you, too… you were always nice to me… and you remember the camp… and… I really loved Expose," He said. I wanted to smile a little, but nothing would come. "Okay, then. Goodbye…"

"Wait," Sawyer said quietly. I looked up at him in surprise. He stuck his shovel deep in the sand and reached into his pocket, drawing forth the bag of diamonds. He poured the small rocks into his hand and held them tightly. "Rest in peace, Nikki and Paulo," Sawyer said, then he drizzled the diamonds over them, like a glittering rain. I raised my eyebrows, knowing the guilt and sadness Sawyer felt, as well as an isolation from the camp. He stood up, and they started shoveling sand on top of the bodies. After a while, some people started leaving. I stared at Sawyer though. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know how. After five minutes or so, Desmond grabbed my hand.

"You ready?" He asked. I looked to Sawyer, then at the grave that was quickly filling. I looked back at Desmond and nodded. He put his arm around my shoulders and held my hand with his other hand. We went back to his tent where I picked at some fruit, and fell asleep.

**Those who've seen this episode know how creepy it is, but Carmen has a sadder side to it (not that Nikki and Paulo don't have a saaaad outcome here, haha!). I'll try to write once a week from now on, probably on the weekends. Look out for me!**


	57. Left Behind

**So lucky me, I'm sick this weekend. But that's okay, because it means I get to write more! Alright, enjoy Left Behind!**

I woke up to the sound of waves lapping on to the sand. I was facing a blue tarp, but not my blue tarp: Desmond's. I was still in Desmond's tent. I then realized that an arm was draped over my stomach. I turned my head as much as I could without moving my body to see Desmond, still asleep, lying behind me. He was lying on his arm, and was holding me with his other. I smiled a little and lay back down, relaxing in the salty air. I got up slowly a few minutes later, being careful not to wake Desmond. I crept over him and hurried to the kitchen area, where I grabbed two bowls and started filling them with assorted fruits.

"Who's all that for?" Claire asked me, holding Aaron and bouncing him a little. I looked up as I dropped wedges on an orange into the bowls.

"Um, me and Desmond," I answered, looking down at the bowls. I picked up some slices of mango that were sitting out from someone else's breakfast- they had cut the pieces, but I guess decided that they didn't want it. I also got some of the pineapple that was being cut by Neil. "I figured I'd bring him some breakfast in bed," I added, smiling. I grabbed an apple and started cutting it with a dull knife. I dropped slice by slice into the bowls.

"Oh," She said. I smiled up at her, then picked up the bowls and turned to go back to Desmond's tent. "Hey, Carmen?" Claire called to me. I turned backwards to look at her. "Are you and Desmond… well, are you… together?" She asked hesitantly. I smiled, and even laughed a little bit.

"Oh, no, we're just..." But then the thought of Desmond kissing my hand came back into my mind. Were we just friends? Or… were we… together? "Um… no," I answered finally. She nodded hesitantly, as if she could tell I was internally struggling for my own answer.

"Sorry, just… wondering," She said, looking back down at Aaron. I slowly turned away and brought the bowls back to Desmond's tent. He was still asleep. I considered what to do. Should I talk to Desmond about it? I mean… what could I say? I sat down beside Desmond, sitting where I had been sleeping. I started picking at the fruit in the bowl, trying to think of what to do, until Desmond woke up. He slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey," I said softly. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Morning," He said. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. I pushed the bowl of fruit to him.

"I got us breakfast," I said, putting a slice of pineapple in my mouth. He picked up the bowl and put a large piece of mango in his mouth. I didn't know what to say to him… but I had to say something. "What are we?" I finally spit out. Desmond looked up at me, confusion evident on his face.

"Sorry?" He asked, wanting the question again. I sighed and put down my bowl.

"What are we?" I asked again. He still didn't know what I meant. "I was talking to Claire, and she… people think we're together, like a couple, and I didn't think so, but when you kissed my hand the other day, I… didn't know what to think anymore," I explained hurriedly, tripping over my words. "So… what are we?" I asked him again. He put his bowl down slowly, and looked out at the water.

"I don't know," He said after a long pause. I let out a shallow breath.

"You… you don't know?" I asked, even more confused. He shook his head, looking back down at his lap, then up at me. I looked away, unsure of what to say. I got up when he didn't say anything and walked out of his tent, heading to mine. I didn't know what we were either… someone had to know. And what did he mean, 'he doesn't know?' He's the one who kissed my hand. I looked down at my hand, almost feeling a tingling where he'd kissed it. I wiped the back of my hand on my leg, almost trying to wipe off the feeling.

* * *

I sat on the sand, letting the tide come up and touch my toes. I was leaning forward on my knees and letting my hair float back with the wind. I heard someone trudge up next to me and sit down, but I didn't look- I knew it was Desmond. He brought his legs up and put his arms between them.

"I guess... we're together," He said softly. I turned to him, still confused. What made him arrive at that conclusion? "When I kissed your hand the other day… I don't know why I did it. It was instinct, and… I knew what was happening, and I tried to avoid it, but… I couldn't," He said calmly. I looked back out at the ocean for a second, then back at him.

"Why?" I asked him. He turned to me, confused. "Why did you try to avoid it?" I asked quietly. He looked back out at the water, but I kept my gaze on him.

"Because for the last three years… the only thing that's kept me going is Penny," He answered. Oh… he already had a girlfriend. "But I was thinking earlier today… after you asked me… it's been three years… how long would she wait for me?" He asked himself contemplatively. He shook his head and looked down at the sand beneath him. "I figure she's probably married to some great guy by now." I realized that I was frowning a little, my sympathy for him evident on my face. He looked to me, and leaned over, kissing my forehead. He then got up and walked away. I watched him leave, but then turned back to the water. He was with me… but only because he couldn't be with her… I think I liked not knowing better…

* * *

I brushed my hair silently as I sat on my bed, getting ready to go to sleep. Des walked into my tent quietly. I smiled at him as he came in, but it wasn't the same smile… I wasn't really happy at the sight of him. It was great to see him, but… I didn't feel like he felt the same way.

"Um… did you want to sleep in my tent?" He asked quietly. I smiled a little wider, putting down my hairbrush. He was really trying to get over Penny. I stood up and hugged him.

"Yeah," I said as I held him around his neck, and he held me around my back. I smiled as he let me go, and I followed him out of my tent and towards his. While we were walking over, I saw Sawyer… talking to Claire. I stopped and stared, trying to make out their conversation. Claire laughed a little, and Sawyer gave her a blanket.

"What's wrong?" Desmond asked me, coming back over.

"Sawyer, he's… being nice to Claire," I said.

"So?" Desmond asked. I shook my head.

"He never talks to Claire," I said. Sawyer started walking away from Claire, towards us, so I pushed Desmond forward towards his tent. I couldn't help but wonder what Sawyer was up to, but Desmond interrupted my thoughts.

"I'm going hunting in the morning," He said. I sighed a little bit: that meant that he was getting up really early. "Your boy asked to come with me." I stopped right outside of his tent.

"What?" I asked.

"Sawyer," He said, turning back to look at me. I turned around to see if Sawyer was near us.

"Why?" I asked, walking towards Desmond. He shrugged.

"He didn't say." I shook my head. "Don't worry about it," Des said, putting his hand on my back and leading me into the tent. "I'll talk to him in the morning." I laid down, and Desmond laid behind me, draping his arm over my stomach like he did the night before. I wasn't tired, all of a sudden, though… I was worried about what Sawyer was up to.

* * *

I opened my eyes. The sun was barely rising. Desmond was putting on his jacket behind me. I rolled over and groaned. He knelt down over me and brushed the hair out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry," He said, "go back to sleep." I smiled as he kissed my forehead and rolled over again, going back to sleep.

* * *

When I woke up again, the sun was up and covered the sandy beach, making it shine brighter. I got up and walked to my tent, changing into a pink tank top and brown capris. When I walked back out, I saw Desmond and Sawyer carrying a boar out of the jungle by its feet. They put it down near the kitchen, and Sawyer started building a fire to cook it over as Desmond walked over to his tent. I hurried over to his tent and saw him taking off his jacket and putting his rifle by the wall of the tent.

"Did you talk to him?" I asked Desmond. He looked up at me, then quickly glanced back to where Sawyer was. He nodded.

"Yeah, he said… he had hearts and minds to change," He answered.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"It seemed like… he knew people were mad at him, and he was trying to make up for it," He answered. I looked over to where Sawyer stood.

"He cares," I whispered to myself, still staring at him. Desmond kissed me above my ear.

"Told 'ya so," He said as he laid down on the ground.

* * *

I walked over to the kitchen and looked at the food that was set out. The boar looked delicious. I picked up two cans of Dharma beer, and grabbed two plates, each with a large slice of pineapple on them with pieces of the cooked boar. I looked up and saw Hurley standing and talking with Sawyer. I left the plates on the counter and walked over.

"Hey," I said, standing behind Sawyer. He turned around, and had a concerned look on his face.

"Hey," Hurley said. I smiled at him, then looked to Sawyer.

"Can we… talk?" I asked him. He smiled a little and walked towards me.

"Later, dudes," Hurley said as we walked away. I stopped when we got near the water and looked up at Sawyer.

"What's been… going on? With Claire, and Desmond, and… the boar?" I asked. Sawyer looked off at the water.

"Apparently… camp castaway wants me to be their new leader," He said, looking back down at me. I looked around: I guess that made sense.

"Are you?" I asked him. He looked down at me, then back at the water. After a moment, he nodded.

"Guess so." I smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry," I said. He wrapped his arms around my back.

"Don't be," He said quietly back into my ear. "And, um…" He let me go, and I looked at him. "I won't bug you too much about Desmond. He seems like… an okay guy," He said. I smiled even more.

"Thank you," I said. We hugged again, and then we went back to the group. I grabbed the two beers and balanced the plates on top of them. I walked past Sawyer, who was dishing up plates and handing them to Hurley. I walked to the water's edge where I saw Desmond, looking thoughtfully out at the water. I handed him a plate and beer, and sat next to him. I opened my beer and took a sip.

"I don't think you're supposed to drink that," Desmond said. I laughed a little.

"I don't think I care," I answered. He smiled, and we ate together quietly. Things seemed… okay, for once.

**Aww things are okay! Don't worry though- things will screw up soon enough!**


	58. One of Us

**Well, my homework for the weekend is done, so guess what? TRIPLE DOSAGE OF LOST! Hahaha, alright, enjoy One of Us!**

"Aw, shit," I heard. I opened my eyes and rolled over to see Desmond rooting through his bag.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice still groggy. He turned to me, noticing I was awake, then looked back at his bag.

"My compass… I can't find it," He said, flopping his arms down in disappointment. I leaned forward and put my hand on his back.

"I'm sure we can find you another compass," I said, kissing the back of his head. He nodded.

"Yeah… wanna go get breakfast?" He asked me. I smiled and nodded, running my fingers through my hair. We got up and walked to the kitchen. Hurley was sitting in front of a big bowl over a fire, and Charlie was standing near him.

"Whatcha cookin,' Hurley?" I asked. He looked up.

"Mornin'... um, oatmeal," He said, adding more water from a bottle.

"Hey, whoa, that's too much water," Charlie said, holding Aaron in his arms. "It's gonna be all soggy."

"It's oatmeal, dude, it's supposed to be soggy," Hurley answered.

"You want fruit?" Desmond asked. I looked down at the bowl Hurley was stirring.

"Actually, I'm gonna grab some oatmeal… and an apple," I said. Desmond nodded and started chopping smaller pieces of pineapple.

"Well, if it ain't three men and a baby," Sawyer said, looking between Charlie, Aaron and Hurley. They looked confusedly up at him. "I counted Hugo twice." Hurley looked after him angrily as he walked into the kitchen. I leaned up next to the counter. "Oh, what? Come on, I used your name," Sawyer protested as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. I looked over to see Claire approaching us.

"Hey," She said groggily. She had lost some of her color, and looked tired. "Does anybody know where there's any aspirin?"

"Claire, you don't look so good," Desmond said, leaning over to get a look at her face.

"You really don't Claire, are you okay?" I asked. She nodded dismissively.

"What are you doin' up? You're meant to be in bed," Charlie said, holding Aaron close. Claire shook her head.

"Yeah, no, I know, it's just… my head's pounding…"

"I got you covered," Sawyer said, walking towards Claire, "two aspirin, comin' right up."

"Thank you," Claire sighed after him. I followed Sawyer.

"She really doesn't look good," I told Sawyer. He shook his head.

"Little rest and aspirin will help her," He said. He looked up from his bowl and paused. I followed his gaze down the beach, and saw something I didn't think I'd see… possibly ever again. Jack walked up the beach towards us.

"Jack," I whispered. I started walking in his direction, and broke into a sprint. "Jack!" I yelled. He looked up at me and smiled. I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck. He gasped for air as I held him, but hugged me back. I let go of him. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"No…"

"What happened? Did Kate find you? What did they do to you?" I asked, not giving him any respond time.

"I'm okay, Carmen… yeah, Kate's here. I'll explain everything, don't worry," He smiled. I returned the smile and hugged him again, glad to see him okay. I looked to my side to see Sayid and Kate, coming up the hill. I hurried to Kate and hugged her. Her clothes were filthy, as if she'd bathed in mud. I still hugged her though.

"Why didn't you tell us you were going?" I asked her as I hugged her.

"I didn't want you to tell me not to go," She said, regret filling her voice. I held her tightly to me.

"I'm glad you're okay," I said. I walked over to Sayid and waited for him to finish hugging Charlie. He saw me and smiled, walking to me. I smiled wider and hugged him tightly. "Oh, Sayid, I missed you!"

"I missed you too," He answered. He looked up the beach, and furrowed his eyebrows. "Is that a new grave?" He asked. I turned to see the graveyard, and Nikki and Paulo's grave. I nodded.

"Nikki and Paulo… they died," I said. He looked up the hill, surprised and upset.

"Brotha," Desmond said behind me. He walked up to Sayid and they hugged in a very distant way. "Good to see you."

"You, too," Sayid said. They let go of each other and smiled.

"'the hell is she doin' here?" I heard Sawyer angrily ask. I followed his gaze to see something else I didn't expect, but it wasn't something good… it was something horrible. I saw the blonde woman who Jack tried to kill; who let us go off the beach; who killed Danny; I saw Juliet. I backed up into Desmond, scared. He held me to him.

"It's alright, she's with us," Jack said. I looked to him angrily.

"What?" Sawyer and I asked simultaneously, both with equal amounts of anger.

"You brought her to our camp?" Sawyer asked angrily.

"Look, let me explain…" Jack started.

"You brought one of them here? They tried to kill us!" I yelled at him. Desmond held me tight to him.

"Everyone stop, let me talk, okay… let's all come over here," He said, leading us all over to the kitchen area. I turned and looked at Juliet, who stood there calmly. I pushed myself closer to Desmond.

"It's okay, come on," He said, pulling me away from her. We went to the kitchen area, but Jack wasn't there. "Where did Jack go?" Desmond asked.

"He went to change," Sawyer answered, pissed off. I turned around and looked at Juliet, who was sitting on the beach with Hurley.

"What's Hurley doing with her?" I asked, angry.

"Keepin' an eye on her while we talk about her," Sawyer said. "I don't know about all of you, but I don't trust her." Grunts of agreement came from the surrounding survivors. I couldn't stop watching her. "You okay?" Sawyer said quietly in my ear. I looked to see him right next to me, holding my shoulder. I looked back to Juliet. He sighed. "Come on," Sawyer said, pulling me away from Desmond. He took me to his tent.

"She shouldn't be here…"

"I know… I'm gonna take care of it…"

"How?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"This woman shocked me, watched me break rocks all day… she's one of them, through and through. I don't know why Jack-o decided it was a good idea to bring her, but the way I see it," He said, "she ain't gonna be here long." I nodded. He sat with me in his tent for a while. I was afraid of this woman. It wasn't like he brought Danny or Ben back with him, but Juliet was still one of them, even if she wasn't the most powerful or strongest. And I was terrified that she was sitting on my beach.

* * *

"Hey," Desmond said, coming in to Sawyer's tent, "Jack's back. He's havin' a meeting." I got up, and Sawyer stood next to me. We walked to the kitchen, Sawyer on one side of me, Desmond on the other. We passed Juliet on our way there, and I walked faster past her. I stood next to Desmond, and Sawyer moved away from us a little more so that he could lean against a pole for support.

"Alright," Jack started a few minutes later, "What happened was… well, I spent about a week alone with these people. And out of any of them, Juliet was different. A couple of days ago, the others gased us, and took off to… I don't know where. They left her with us. We can trust her…"

"Trust her? She's one of them!" Sun said, adamant that no other excuse was needed.

"Not anymore… they left her behind…"

"Oh yeah, where'd they go?" Charlie asked.

"I told you, I dunno…"

"Well, maybe we better ask her," Sawyer suggested.

"She doesn't know either," Jack said.

"Well, here's a wacky idea: let's sick a resident and an Iraqi on her. Let 'em do what he does, then see what she says," Sawyer suggested.

"No! I don't do that anymore," Sayid said.

"Well, ain't that convenient," Sawyer answered.

"But I don't trust her, Jack. If she's so innocent, why won't she answer our questions?" Sayid asked. I saw Charlie hurry through the crowd to Claire, who looked more ill. She was wrapped in a blanket, but I couldn't blame her for wanting to know what was going on.

"Give her some time, she's afraid…"

"How much time?" Sayid asked.

"Look, the fact that I trust her should be enough," Jack said, demanding respect. I wouldn't give it though.

"It's not," I said. It was silent as Jack stared at me, wanting support.

"Where did Locke go?" Desmond asked, breaking the silence.

"He went with them. Right after he destroyed the sub, the sub that was going to take me off this island," Jack said angrily.

"What?" Hurley asked.

"They were gonna let you go?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," Jack answered, revealing his anger.

"Said who?" Sawyer asked.

"Ben," Jack slowly answered, seeing the fight that was about to occur.

"Ben," Sawyer repeated. "Whose life you saved…"

"Sawyer," Kate interrupted, "lay off."

"You should'a let that bug eyed bastard die," Sawyer said.

"Yeah, well he did it for us," Kate said.

"Sounds like he did it for him," He countered.

"James," Kate said, ashamed of his argument.

"Somethin' you wanna ask me, Sawyer?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, Jack, I wanna ask you why you're fightin' every one of us and stickin' up for one of them?" Sawyer asked, showing his new found leadership role.

"Look, I spent every moment over there tryin' to find a way off this island, I was trying to help all of us," Jack yelled defensively. "I was tryin' to get us rescue…"

"Jack!" Charlie yelled. I looked over to see Claire collapsing into his arms, bleeding from her nose. I ran to her, as Jack did the same. "Somethin' wrong with Claire! Claire?"

"What do you need?" I asked Jack as we helped Charlie hold her."Get her bed ready, we're gonna take her there," Jack said. I ran off to Claire's tent, where Aaron was crying. I moved the pillow she had, not knowing if Jack would want her head elevated.

"Before she got back, was she showing any of these symptoms at all?" Jack asked. I turned to see him and Charlie carrying Claire. I moved out of the way.

"No, she was fine," Charlie said.

"What about water? Has she been drinking enough water?" Jack asked as they set her down.

"I think so, yeah," Charlie said. I went over to Aaron and picked him up carefully, bouncing him to calm him down.

"Shhh, it's okay," I muttered to him.

"Keep that head up," Jack told Charlie. I walked out of the tent with Aaron, holding him close to me. When Aaron calmed down, I put him back in his crib.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked Jack. He was dabbing a cold washcloth on her head.

"I don't know," He answered. I walked out of the tent, as Jack didn't need me at the moment. I could see Sawyer and Sayid talking over by a fire. I walked over to them.

"Hey," I said. We watched as Kate hurried past us to Claire's tent, and she said something to Jack. "Do you think Juliet has something to do with this?" I asked, staring straight across the beach at her. Kate and Jack walked up in front of her and she started explaining something. I couldn't hear much, though.

"You gettin' a bad feelin' in your stomach?" Sawyer asked Sayid. He nodded. "Yeah, me too." After a moment, Juliet hurried off. Sawyer and Sayid looked at each other anxiously. I looked at them.

"What are you doing?" I asked them. They looked to me. "Follow her!" I said hurriedly. They looked between each other and hurried off, supposedly to get guns, and follow her. I watched Jack and Kate, then hurried back to Claire's tent.

* * *

It had been a long, and unfortunately, uneventful night. Claire was still sick. Juliet ran up to us, holding a case. I looked at her angrily. Jack hurried over to her, grabbing the case.

"Wait… what are you doin'?" Charlie asked frantically. "She's not touching Claire, she's the one that did this to her…"

"She can help her Charlie," Jack said.

"Says who? Her!" Charlie yelled. "How can you even trust her?"

"I do trust her," Jack said, loud and adamant. "Do you trust me?" Charlie looked defeated. I wouldn't back down though.

"Jack, no. We don't know why she's here, she…"

"She's here because we brought her here," Jack said.

"I don't trust her!" I yelled.

"She didn't do anything to you!" Jack yelled back.

"They were going to brainwash me, Jack! They were going to…"

"Carmen, we don't have time for this, Claire is sick, and she's gonna die if we don't help her," Jack said. I looked nervously down at Claire. "Do you trust me?" Jack asked me. I shook my head.

"I used to," I said. I leaned over Claire and brushed the hair of off her forehead. Then I hurried out of the tent, grabbing Juliet's elbow violently on my out. "If she dies," I said, "you will, too." She looked upset. I let go of her and angrily walked down the beach to my tent, where I sat on my bed and hoped Claire would be okay.

* * *

I opened my eyes, realizing I fell asleep. My soft chair cushioned my head. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, and then I remembered: Claire! I got up and ran to her tent to see her smiling and laughing with Charlie, and holding Aaron.

"Oh!" I sighed as I hurried to her and hugged her around the neck. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"Fine," She answered. "I feel fine." I smiled, but thought- now Juliet would stay here with us.

"I have to go," I said, smiling and walking out of the tent. I saw Desmond. "Claire's okay," I said, smiling. He gave me a hug, half out of happiness from her health, and half out of worry that Juliet would stay here.

**GRRR damn that Juliet! Haha, it's all good… for now… okay, I might write another, we'll see. ****Hope to hear from you guys in the comments!**


	59. Catch22

**Okay, we're at Catch-22, one of my favorite episodes! I'm very excited!**

"Carmen!" I heard Desmond call to me. He was running towards me, from Jin's fishing spot. I put my copy of An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge down on my bed and got up, walking towards him. He was sweaty, with his blue shirt unbuttoned a little bit, and a backpack on.

"What's up?" I asked. When he reached me, he put his hand on my shoulder.

"How would you like to go camping?" He asked me. I laughed.

"You wouldn't call this camping?" I asked, looking around at our makeshift homes and fires. He chuckled a little bit.

"Think of it as a way to get away from Juliet," He said. Something about his tone wasn't assuring.

"What's this all about?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. He looked around, then pulled me back into my tent.

"I had a vision," Desmond said. I thought about Charlie immediately.

"Well, what happened?" I asked.

"I saw… someone parachute onto the island," He said. I shook my head.

"Someone parachute? Like, from a plane?" I asked. He nodded. "But… aren't the visions normally about Charlie…"

"This one's different," He said. "No one's going to be hurt, we could be saved by this person, but we have to go." I nodded.

"We?" I asked. He nodded.

"Me, you, Hurley, Charlie…"

"Charlie?" I asked. He nodded. "You're sure Charlie'll be okay?" He nodded. "Okay… sure, I'll come." Des smiled.

"Get food, water… then meet us all down by where Jin fishes," He said. I nodded. I loaded up my backpack with my full water bottle, a couple of protein bars, some fruit and a sweatshirt. I slipped on some socks and sneakers and walked over to where Jin and Hurley were standing.

"Hey, guys," I smiled. Jin smiled back. "Jin, are you coming with us?" He nodded.

"Camping," He smiled. I laughed.

"Awesome," I smiled. Desmond walked over to us, Charlie following shortly behind him, with a backpack and guitar on his back.

"Alright, so, let's go," Desmond said, smiling at us all. Hurley led the way, and we walked down the beach for a good while in silence. Someone next to me started whistling. I looked over to see Charlie whistling the colonel bogey march… I chimed in, and soon, all of us (except Desmond) were whistling. We kept going for a few minutes, until Hurley stopped us.

"This is it," Hurley said, looking at the tree line.

"Well… how can you tell?" Desmond asked.

"'Cause that's exactly where I followed the wire into the jungle," Hurley said.

"Where is it then?" Desmond asked. Jin yelled something in Korean, and was holding a wire up as sand fell from it.

"Way to go, dude," Hurley said as he ran over to Jin, grabbing the cable. "Here it is!" He called to Desmond. "Just one thing… last time I followed this wire into the jungle, I almost got kabobbed by one of Rousseau's spiky death-trap things."

"We're not goin' in the jungle… well, not yet. It's gettin' late, so we'll, uh… we'll camp here tonight," Desmond said. Jin smiled.

"Camp," He said excitedly. I walked with Jin and Hurley past the wire and set my bag down, taking out my water and sitting in the sand, relaxing.

* * *

Jin was uttering a ghost story quietly, a flash light pointed up his chin, illuminating his face. I couldn't help myself from giggling at his ghost story, seeing as I had no idea what he was saying. Desmond was sitting off to himself, leaning up against a tree. Charlie was strumming on his guitar, and Hurley looked creeped out. Suddenly, Jin jumped forward and raised his voice, making Hurley shout in fear. I burst out in laughter, and Jin and Hurley followed.

"Oh, that was great!" I laughed. Charlie got up and moved away, towards Des.

"I loved the part about the bird… it was a bird, right?" Hurley asked. I giggled, and Jin motioned for Hurley to tell a story.

"You," He said.

"Me? No… Carmen, you know any?" Hurley asked me. I laughed.

"I don't know any ghost stories, but I could tell some pretty terrifying tales about smoke monsters," I laughed. They laughed along with me.

"Okay, okay, I got one," Hurley said. "Have you heard the one about the chupucabra?"

"Chupa?" Jin asked.

"Yeah, it's like a bear with spines… but Mexican," Hurley said. I giggled a little.

"Let's hear it," I smiled. Hurley laughed.

"Never mind, it's stupid," He laughed. I giggled.

"Well, we can all tell loads about smoke monsters and… crazy bug eyed men who kidnap children," I laughed. Hurley and Jin laughed too, but they stopped, thinking about the unfortunate events that lay just behind us. We were all silent for a moment.

"Remember when… I was doing that census?" Hurley asked. I nodded, remembering when Claire was first attacked by Ethan.

"I was asking Shannon where she lived, and her answer was 'crap-hole island,'" Hurley said, giggling.

"Really?" I asked, laughing. That sounded like her.

"And she called the caves 'the rape caves,'" Hurley said. I laughed a little more at the fond memories. I missed Shannon, but worse... I missed Boone.

"Poor Boone was always trying so hard to keep her tame," I said, smiling. Hurley chuckled.

"Yeah… he was cool," Hurley said. Jin nodded. I held his necklace in my hand and leaned forward… until I heard something distant, chopping through the air. "What's that?" Hurley asked. I stood up; it sounded like a helicopter. Jin and Hurley stood, and Desmond and Charlie stepped forward. We all stared into the sky, hoping to see something.

"Is that a helicopter?" Charlie asked quietly.

"Rescue," Jin said. I smiled at the thought, but… something was off. The squeaking of metal came from the sky, and the chopping noises became irregular and separate.

"Uh… is that how a helicopter's supposed to sound?" Hurley asked.

"No," Desmond said softly. I looked to him. Was the person that was supposed to parachute on to the island coming from this helicopter that appeared may crash? A splash came from across the water, and I looked out to see spraying foam from the water falling. I looked out at the water… was someone out there?

"Oh my God," I said, covering my mouth with my hands.

"We gotta go out there," Hurley said.

"Out there?" Charlie asked.

"Well, yeah," Hurley answered, still staring at the water.

"In what?"

"Well, we gotta do something!" Hurley said. I looked up, looking for a person with a parachute… but it was so dark… until I saw a flashing red light.

"Look," Jin said.

"Guys, look up there!" I said, pointing at the sky. The flashing red light fell from the sky and disappeared in the mountainside.

"Oh my God," Desmond whispered. I turned around to see him, his face excited and worried. Jin turned to us all after a moment.

"Palette," Jin said, thinking about a food palette that would've been dropped. Desmond walked away from us and back to his things.

"Nah, dude, it's not a food drop, you saw the beacon thing… someone, like, ejected," Hurley said.

"Yeah, but that was a helicopter. You can't eject from a helicopter," Charlie said.

"Well maybe they jumped. All that matters is that they're here," Hurley said. I nodded. Desmond's vision was coming true.

"They? How do we even know it's a person?" Charlie asked. I had good faith in what Desmond said: I thought someone must have come.

"'Cause he said someone was coming," Hurley said, pointing to Desmond. That's when I noticed Des, packing up his bag.

"Where are you goin'?" Charlie asked.

"Out to where it fell," He answered, "Come on, let's go." Jin moved to get his things, but Charlie stopped him.

"No! Whoa, slow down," Charlie said, stopping Jin. "We're not gonna trudge out into the jungle in the middle of the night..."

"Yes, we are!" Desmond argued back.

"Were you even listening to Hurley when he mentioned Rousseau's death trap?" Charlie asked. "No, it's gonna be light in… two hours, we'll wait until then…"

"She can't wait!" Desmond shouted. I looked to him.

"She?" Charlie asked.

"They! Whoever it is!" Desmond said, spitting out his words. "Could be hurt. We have to go, all five of us, now!"

"Why?" Charlie asked softly.

"Because that's the way it's supposed to happen," Desmond said, matter-of-factly.

"Right, well I guess it's supposed to happen without me," Charlie answered. Desmond backed off, looking around at Jin, Hurley and me.

"We'll leave at first light, then," Desmond said calmly. Charlie nodded. "Together."

"Terrific," Charlie commented as Desmond walked away towards his tree. He sat down angrily. After I packed my bag up, I walked over to him.

"Who do you think it is?" I asked him, standing in front of him.

"Sorry?" He asked quietly. I sat down next to him.

"You said she could be hurt… so who do you think she is?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Slip of the tongue," He said. I nodded.

"Yeah, right… like a Freudian slip?" I asked. He looked to me. "If you know who it is parachuting in, why won't you tell…"

"I don't know who it is," He said quickly and snidely. I leaned back, scanning his face. He looked angry and spiteful. I stood up and slowly walked back over to where Hurley and Jin sat. I sat down in the sand, and stared at the horizon, waiting for the sun to peak over.

* * *

We walked in silence for a while. I didn't have much to say. Desmond was acting cold, and I didn't know why. I just felt uncomfortable.

"So what's next?" Charlie asked from in front of me. Desmond was leading the line, and Jin was behind me, with Hurley following him.

"Next?" Desmond asked.

"Yeah, you saw the wire, the flashy thing falling out of the sky… now what?" Charlie asked. "Maybe I can help you…"

"That's it. There is no next. We find the beacon," Desmond said, interrupting him.

"Why are you lying to me, mate?" Charlie asked. Desmond violently turned around and stood in Charlie's face.

"Look, mate. I've saved your life three times now. If that hasn't bought me your trust, I don't know what will," He said angrily. We all stood staring at him, curious and offended at his bitterness. "Let's move." He turned and headed off. Charlie followed after a brief pause, and we continued our trip. We stepped over tree roots and hurried to keep up with Desmond.

"Dude," Hurley started. I turned to see him sit down on a tree root. "Seriously, I'm gonna have a coronary."

"Actually, you're not," Desmond said, walking back over to him.

"Des, chill," I said, but he didn't listen to me.

"And if you don't get a move on, we're not gonna make it before night fall…"

"Hey!" Charlie said, looking down and grabbing something off the ground. It was a little figurine. "Look at this." Jin said something in Korean. "It can't be Rousseau's. 'Cause if it was, a mass of blood would be comin' out of my head right now." I looked up to see a backpack sitting in the tree branches above Hurley. I hurried back.

"Hurley, don't move," I said, as I climbed on to his shoulders.

"Ow!" He complained. I reached up and grabbed the backpack, throwing it in front of Hurley as I jumped down behind him. Desmond reached into the bag, searching for something. He dumped it's contents on to the ground.

"Did that come down with the flashing red light thingy?" Hurley asked. Desmond picked up a book in another language, but I assumed it was Catch-22 from the cover.

"Walkie-talkie," Jin said. I looked up to see something that looked like a cross between a walkie-talkie and a phone.

"No dude," Hurley said, getting up and taking the phone from Jin. "It's a satellite phone…" He turned it on, but it quickly turned back off. "Crap, it's dead."

"Shocker," Charlie commented. I looked to Desmond to seeing him gaping at a piece of paper stuck in the book.

"Oh my God," He said.

"What?" I asked, trying to grab the book.

"Is that you?" Hurley asked. He grabbed the piece of paper, and I looked across him to see: it was a picture of Desmond at a harbor, holding a woman with light brown hair who was leaning on him. "Then who's she?" Hurley asked.

"That… would be Penny," Charlie said. I abruptly looked up at Desmond. Oh my God… it was Penny that was parachuting in, that's why he wanted to go so badly. But… what did that mean for us? And why didn't he tell me?

* * *

I walked in silence. I wanted to talk to Des, but at the same time… I didn't. I kept pace with Charlie, and maintained a straight face, even though I wanted to scream.

"You think it's her, don't you?" Charlie asked finally. I looked up to see Desmond's expression.

"Who?" Des replied, not looking back.

"Your girl," Charlie said. It felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. "Penny. You think it's actually her who bailed out of the helicopter." Desmond turned around. I kept my distance to avoid eye contact with Des, but I listened closely.

"Earlier I hoped it… now I know it," He said, then turned to keep going. I closed my eyes, swallowing tears I thought might come. Yup, he was done with me. I was dreading the conversation that would come between us. I kept walking in silence.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Charlie asked.

"Would you come if I had?" Des replied.

"'Course. Why wouldn't I?" Charlie countered.

"I didn't wanna tell ya because… I didn't want anything to change," He said. It felt like my heart was going to fall out of my butt. I considered stopping to take a break, but I didn't want to draw his attention to me.

"Fair enough," Charlie said. I thought for a second he was answering my thoughts, but I realized he was still talking to Des. "Look, if whatever you're seeing leads to your girl gettin' us rescued, why would we want to change anything? Right?"

"Right," Desmond smiled. Charlie kept walking, and it started raining. I looked up and put my hair up in a sloppy bun.

"Thanks for a heads up about bringin' an umbrella, dude," Hurley said to Desmond, continuing past him. Jin followed, and I passed him last, bumping into his shoulder. I didn't turn and apologize… I just kept walking. We went through some clearings, but most of our time was spent going through trees. After a moment, Jin spoke up.

"Who's Penny?" He shouted over the loud rain.

"She's a chick Desmond used to date," Hurley said, "and now he thinks she fell from the sky. So we're gonna go save her life, and she's gonna get us rescued." He stopped, and so did Jin and Charlie… so I did, too. "Dude, even if I spoke Korean, it wouldn't make any sense."

"Hey," Desmond said, talking to us as a group. "We'll move faster if we stop talkin.'" We continued forward, Desmond leading, Hurley following, then Charlie, me and Jin.

"I'm movin' as fast as I can. In case you haven't noticed, dude, I'm not exactly The Flash," Hurley griped.

"The Flash is pathetic!" Charlie shouted from in front of me. Normally I would've laughed at the conversation, or even joined in, but I just wasn't in the mood.

"You got something against the fastest man alive?" Hurley asked.

"You're insane, mate. Superman can fly around the entire planet in the blink of an eye!" Charlie argued.

"Dude, if we're goin' by a pure foot race, the Sup. would get dusted by The Flash," Hurley said.

"What? Why would The Man of Steel agree to a sodding foot race?" Charlie laughed, looking back at me and Jin for support. I had a straight face, and could tell Jin had no idea what they were talking about.

"Uh, for charity? And The Flash would totally win, 'cause he can vibrate through walls and stuff," Hurley said.

"Ooo, vibration! What would Superman do if he came up against a wall?" Charlie asked sarcastically.

"Well, no smashing allowed," Hurley stipulated.

"No flying, no smashing, anything other restrictions I need to know about? Perhaps we should fit Superman with a pair of kryptonite ballet slippers…" Charlie stopped abruptly, and I almost ran into him. He was looked down at the ground.

"What's wrong?" I asked, squinting through the rain.

"What the hell?" Charlie asked. He moved his foot, and I could distantly hear something shifting.

"Ah! Charlie, duck!" Desmond yelled, running at Charlie. He grabbed Charlie around the stomach and tackled him to the ground. He fell on me, and I fell backwards, hitting the ground hard. I sat up, somewhat disoriented, so see an arrow sticking into the neck of Charlie's guitar. I looked up to see Desmond examining Charlie, to make sure he was alright. He knew… Desmond knew that arrow would fire, and… kill Charlie… Charlie had the same reaction as me. Desmond knew all along…

* * *

It stopped raining shortly after, and we made our way into another clearing. Desmond and Charlie began veering off to the right, and I followed.

"This way," Jin said, walking straight from where we were.

"No, the beacon fell this side of the rise," Desmond said, pointing with his machete.

"No, there!" Jin pointed.

"How 'bout we split up?" Hurley suggested to Desmond. "Me and Charlie go that way, you, Jin and Carmen go 'round, and we'll meet up at that ridge over there."

"Uh… you and Jin," Charlie said to Hurley. "I'll stick with Desmond."

"I'll go with Hurley and Jin," I said. For the first time in a while, Desmond looked up at me, as if remembering for the first time since last night that I was with them. He had a look of shame on his face, but I ignored it; I was angry. I went with Jin and Hurley and we walked through the tall grass a ways.

"So, uh…. Did Desmond tell you all about Penny?" Hurley asked me as we stepped through the grass towards a mass of trees. He walked behind me, with Jin leading the way. I didn't turn around to face him.

"No. He mentioned her name, but… no," I said.

"Oh… really? I thought you guys were close…"

"Well, apparently not," I snapped. He quieted. "Sorry, I'm just… tired," I said, trying to apologize.

"It's cool," He said. We pushed aside some branches, and I looked out to my left. Suddenly, my anger and frustration with Des was gone, and was replaced by sympathy and worry.

"Oh, no," I said. Jin and Hurley followed my gaze as I pushed out of the trees into another clearing. A pilot was hanging from the tree, her parachute caught in the branches. "Hello?" I yelled up to them. No answer. Jin yelled back into the forest, supposedly calling to Desmond and Charlie. He then came up to me and Hurley, who were yelling to the pilot. Jin yelled something in Korean.

"Hey! Hey, can you hear me?" Hurley yelled. They didn't move.

"Hello!" Jin called.

"Can you hear us? Hello!" I called. They didn't answer, though. Jin yelled more in Korean.

"Dude, she's not movin,'" Hurley said. I turned to see Desmond and Charlie. Desmond had a look of despair on his face.

"Des," I whispered to him, pitying him. Desmond hurried over to us, but he didn't run. He slowly put down his bag and climbed up the tree trunk, his machete in hand. He cut down the parachute, and I grabbed a corner of it, Hurley, Jin and Charlie grabbing the others. We pulled the parachute tight, creating tension enough so that when Desmond cut the pilot loose, she wouldn't hurt themselves. Desmond hesitated to cut her down, but slammed his machete into the branch, and she came down. We caught them before they hit the ground, and lowered them down slowly. I knelt next to their face, and saw that they were moving their head. "She's alive," I whispered.

"She's alive!" Hurley shouted to Desmond. I began to unhook her helmet. Desmond practically leapt out of the tree.

"Stand back!" He yelled. I leaned back on my legs, but Desmond came and knocked me back further. "Get away from 'er!" He shouted. I stood up and walked back a little bit, not wanting to watch their romantic reunion. This was the end of me and him… "I'm here," I heard him whisper, "I'm here Penny…"

"Be careful…" Charlie whispered, but Desmond pushed him back.

"Just get off, Charlie! I'm sorry, Penny, I'm sorry…" He pulled the helmet off, and I could hear a woman gasp for air, but Desmond silenced. I turned to see a woman… not Penny… gasping for air. She was tan, and had dark brown hair. Desmond's excitement dulled in disappointment and confusion.

"Desmond," The woman whispered. I walked back over to the woman and knelt by her face as she passed out. I looked to Desmond, who looked back at me in utter confusion.

**And the plot thickens! DUN-DUN-DUN! Haha, the next episode is long, but a good one! Hope you enjoyed!**


	60. DOC

**Alright, so here's D.O.C., another HUUUGE episode… enjoy!**

I knelt next to the woman, watching as she groaned and moved her head from side to side.

"Who is she?" Jin eventually asked Desmond.

"I don't know…"

"She seems to know you, dude, she just said your name," Hurley said.

"I've never seen her before in my life," Desmond answered, holding her neck and turning it slowly, as the woman coughed.

"She's wakin' up," Charlie said. She moaned, but no words could be made out.

"She's tryin' to talk. We should get 'er some water," Hurley said, hurrying over to get some water.

"Give me a hand," Desmond asked me. We began to lift her up so that she could swallow water, Charlie and Jin lifting her from the back. She said something in another language… one I didn't know.

"What's she sayin?" Charlie asked from behind her, next to Jin.

"It's Spanish, dude," Hurley said.

"You understand her then?" Desmond asked, hinting at needing a translation. Hurley listened to her.

"She said she's dying," He said softly.

"What?" I whispered. I pushed aside her jacket, and felt something warm. I looked down at my hand to see blood, and felt something hard in her abdomen. "Oh!" I shouted. "Put her down, put her down, gently!"

"It's a branch! She must have hit it on the way down," Charlie said. We laid her down on the parachute.

"Get her pack!" Desmond yelled to Hurley. "We haven't got much in this first aid kit. See if there's anything we can use in there." Desmond began putting gauze around the branch.

"What if this is a rescue? What if she came for us? Wha… I mean, is she gonna be okay? We can't let…"

"Just go! Start looking!" Desmond ordered. Hurley ran off to the pack.

"We need Jack," Jin said. "Jack."

"We have to get her to Jack as soon as possible," Charlie repeated. "She could be our way off the island…"

"No, if we move her it'll make it worse…" Desmond started.

"What, we just let her bleed to death?" Charlie asked, panicked.

"No, we… we need to bring Jack here," Desmond answered.

"It's an eight hour walk, one way!" Charlie said.

"Then I'll run," Desmond said, standing. Charlie stood as well, trying to stop him.

"You're out of your mind," He said. "It's not safe. It's gonna be dark soon, who knows what's out in this jungle? In case you have forgotten, there are people on this island tryin' to kill us…"

"Nobody knows we're here!" Desmond cried, but then a gun went off. My initial reaction was to duck, but I turned to see Hurley, aiming a gun at the air, and in the sky, a bright red light reached for the clouds, then exploding, fragments falling back down to the tree tops.

"Oops," Hurley said. I dropped my face in my hands. After a moment, I looked back down at the woman, then up to Jin.

"Help me prop her head up," I asked Jin. We put Hurley's backpack beneath her head, and she began mumbling again in an Eastern language.

"What's she sayin'?" Hurley asked Jin.

"Chinese… not Korean," Jin corrected him.

"Maybe we should just pull it out," Charlie said, examining the branch.

"No… where it's lodged... I can't tell if it's hit an organ or not. If it's punctured something, then… pulling it out without repairing the damage done to the organ first could kill her," I explained.

"You'll just make it worse," Desmond said.

"You've forgotten what's at stake here," Charlie said to us. "It's just another one of your flashes. Who's getting' an arrow in the neck this time?"

"Lest you forget, she said my bloody name!" Desmond said angrily, standing up next to Charlie. "She had a photo of me and my girlfriend! Do I understand? I understand better than the lot of you!"

"Hey!" I yelled. I was upset with Desmond: upset that all of a sudden, we were no longer "together," because he found a picture of his ex. But that didn't matter. Not right now it didn't... the only thing that mattered was fixing this woman. If we could save her, I could go home, and live with Sawyer, and life could be easy again. No others, no smoke monsters, no guys telling me we're together, and then casting me off the next second... okay, well that might not go away, but at least I could get away from Desmond.

"Chill," Hurley said calmly, continuing my thought.

"We've wasted enough time already," Desmond said, reaching down to his backpack. He zipped it up and stood again.

"You're not leavin' us," Charlie insisted.

"Just get outta my way, Charlie," Desmond demanded.

"No!" Charlie said.

"Desmond, he's right, you could be hurt, or…" I stopped. A rustling of leaves came from in front of me. I stood and walked around the woman, standing next to Jin, staring at whatever was coming. Desmond dropped his pack and drew his machete. I turned to see a man burst out of the jungle. He had a receding hairline, and was wearing an eye patch. He also wore a Dharma jumpsuit. He stared at us in silence for a moment, and we did the same. He was an other… what would he do? He stood quietly, then turned and took off in the other direction. He was going to tell the others where we were. I ran after him. "Stop!" I yelled as I followed him. I never let him out of my sight, and blocked all thoughts an noises except those about catching him. I wove through the trees as he did, slowly catching up. He looked like he was trying to hold his lower stomach, as if he were wounded. It gave me an advantage. As he tried to hurry up a slight slope, I caught up and jumped on his back, forcing both of us to the ground. I looked up, and he hit me on the cheek so hard I flipped over, but I threw my elbow back and hit him in the nose. He grabbed my shirt by it's shoulders, and attempted to slam his head into mine, but Jin grabbed his collar from the back and threw him across the ground. I stood up to see Jin jump on top of the man. He tried to hit him, but the man threw him off. He blocked Jin's hits, and pushed him back against a tree, lifting him off the ground by his neck. I ran over and grasped the man by the inlets above his eye sockets and pulled him off Jin. Jin disoriented him by smacking him in the ears, and roundhouse kicking him to the ground. He put the man in a headlock, when I realized Desmond and Charlie had finally caught up. Jin carried the man back to where the pilot was, all the while holding him in a position where his neck could easily be snapped. He dropped him, and Desmond slammed him up against a tree.

"Who are you?" Desmond asked. The main stared straight ahead at Desmond, not caring about his anger. "I said, who are you?" Desmond asked angrily, drawing the flare gun from his back pocket. The man didn't seem to care though.

"He's the guy who shot Sayid," Charlie said, recognizing the man from Kate's account of what happened on their latest outing. "Kate told us he lived down in that station Locke blew up. He's an other."

"I thought Locke killed that guy with the electric-fence thingy," Hurley said quietly.

"You've got five seconds to talk," Desmond said quietly to the man, "or I fire this gun, brotha."

"That's a flare gun," The man indicated, in a heavy Russian accent.

"And how do you think it will feel?" Desmond asked quietly and slowly, "Takin' a flare to the chest at this range?" The man shook is head, seeming not to care.

"As your friend pointed out, I already died once this week," He said. The woman started mumbling in another language.

"You understand her," Desmond said.

"She's speaking Italian. She said she's dying, she needs help," The man said. Desmond looked nervously at the woman, desperately wanting to help her. "I was a Soviet Army field medic, I can offer you my services." Desmond pulled the man off the tree and pushed him towards the woman.

"Wait… what are you doin'?" Charlie asked Desmond.

"Savin' 'er," Desmond replied. The man knelt next to the woman, and Desmond aimed the gun at his head.

"This branch has punctured her lung," He said, confirming what I thought might be true. "It's filling with blood. If it is not ventilated soon, she is going to die." Desmond paused, weighing his options. He looked between me, Charlie and the woman.

"Well do it," Desmond said. "Help her."

"If I fix her, you must let me walk away as if I never came upon you," The man ordered. I shook my head.

"No," I said quietly to Desmond. He looked up at me, and back down at the man, then between everyone else. I shook my head. He tightened his lips and looked down at the man.

"What do you need?" He asked. I turned and walked away from Desmond, towards the tree the woman fell from. Desmond had three choices: one, to kill this man and try to fix her ourselves; two, to promise this man he could walk away and then hold him captive against his word; or three, to promise he could walk away and then let him go, true to his word. I hoped to myself that Desmond was following the principles of the second option.

* * *

Jin brought the man everything he needed, and even though the sun went down, he kept at work.

"What else do you know about this woman? Did she have anything on her, besides the flare gun?" He asked.

"Just a book, fancy-radio-phone thing…" Hurley started, but Charlie shook his head at him, telling him to stop.

"Does it work?" The man asked.

"Like I'd tell you," Hurley answered weakly.

"One of you must help," The man said, "the rest: clear the way, I need some space." I looked to Desmond.

"I'll do it," I said softly. Out of the five of us, I was fairly sure that I was the one with the most experience in the medical field. I knelt on the opposite side of the woman from the man. He gave me gauze and tape, and I sat it next to me.

"Wipe away as much of the blood as you can," He said. I did so, but as I finished, the woman started going into shock, needing more Oxygen. She grabbed my shirt and pulled down, but I wasn't worried about my bra straps showing. "We need to evacuate the air now," He said. I pulled her arm down and pushed her chest down by her collar bone. "Hold her steady… steady!"

"Yeah, I'm working on it," I said. He swiftly stabbed a plastic tube into her lung that spurted blood.

"Is that… normal?" I heard Desmond ask from behind me. The man then grabbed the branch and pulled it out. The woman screamed in pain, and tried to roll away from me, but I held her down.

"Gauze," The man asked. I gave him two pieces, and he laid them over the wound. "Tape it," He ordered me. I did as he said. "Be careful… the wound needs to be hollow… the wound needs to breath." I nodded as I put the last piece of tape over the gauze. The woman mumbled something in another language.

"What did she say?" I asked the man.

"Thank you. She said thank you for helping me," The man said. He continued to examine her, until she passed out… then he continued to watch her condition for another twenty minutes or so. "She's fine," He said finally. At that point, I was standing to the side. "Keep the wound as clean as you can… she should be better in a day."

"A day? Her lung was punctured," Charlie said, standing behind the man.

"On this island, wounds are a bit different… maybe a day and a half," He said. He stood up, Desmond standing across from him. I stood behind Desmond. "I did as I promised. She will live."

"You can't seriously be considering letting him go…" Charlie started.

"Just go," Desmond said to the man. I let out a terrified breath. The man nodded, and turned.

"Are you kidding- he's one of them!" Charlie said, trying to make Desmond change his mind.

"What would you have me do, Charlie? We've got to make a stretcher and carry her! How're we gonna do that and bring a prisoner?" He asked.

"Gimme some rope, I'll take responsibility," Charlie said. Suddenly, Jin took off after the man.

"Jin! Jin it's alright!" Desmond called after him. I ran to catch up with him, as did Charlie and Des.

"Oy, let him!" Charlie called.

"Jin, it's alright, Jin!" Desmond called as we reached him. Jin pulled at the man's jump suit and turned him around. "Jin, let go… Jin, let him go!" Jin finally released the man, but held the satellite phone in his hand.

"Phone!" He yelled in Desmond's face. I turned to the man, who wore a smirk.

"You stole this?" Charlie asked.

"How could you respect me if I didn't try?" He asked.

"How 'bout I take your other eye? Would you respect that?" Charlie asked. The man teased Charlie, leaning towards him.

"Sorry?" Charlie leaned forward, about to attack the man, when Desmond caught him.

"Charlie! Charlie! Charlie, let him go!" Desmond yelled, throwing him backwards.

"This is a mistake!" He yelled. "We can't keep lettin' these people go!"

"We gave him our word!" Desmond insisted. Charlie quieted down. Desmond turned back to the man. "Go on. Get out of here." The man nodded to Desmond, then turned to Charlie, smirking. He then turned to me.

"I'll see you soon enough," He said, turning to leave. I was furious, and terrified, and couldn't control myself. I stepped forward and grabbed the man's shoulder, turning him and throwing my right hook into his cheek, he was knocked backwards, and I went at him for more, but Desmond stopped me.

"Let me go! I'm gonna kill him!" I screamed, Desmond holding me around my stomach.

"Carmen, stop!" He yelled, pulling me backwards into him.

"Let go!" I screamed at Desmond.

"Let him go!" He yelled back into my ear.

"Get off of me!" I screamed at him, jerking out of his grip. My hair was wild, and my shirt was turned in places, revealing my shoulders, but I was too angry to care about what I looked like. I turned to see the man smile, then hurry away. "You just let him threaten me, and let him walk away! You let him leave!" I yelled, pointing in the direction of the man I knew would tell Ben where to find me.

"We gave him our word, Carmen…"

"No! You gave him your word, Desmond!" I yelled. I realized that it was the first time I hadn't called him by Des in a long time. "You had a choice, Desmond, to either risk the life of a woman we don't know, and who we don't really know has a way off this island, or to risk mine! And you just chose to risk mine," I said, stepping forward. He reached towards my arm.

"Carmen…"

"No!" I jerked away, feeling the tears reach my eyes. "Those people now know who I'm with, where I'll generally be for the next twelve hours or so, and how vulnerable we'll be. They know everything… and it's your fault. They could come and kill you guys, and take me, and it's all your fault," I told him. He looked offended, but I was furious at him on so many levels, I could hardly look at him. "So don't touch me... don't even talk to me," I finished, hurrying back towards Hurley. Desmond didn't follow… he didn't even call after me. He'd made his choice… and he didn't choose me.

* * *

I was exhausted, but I stayed up all night, unable to sleep for fear that Tom and his army of Ben's followers would storm our group, taking me away to brainwash me. Jin, Charlie and Desmond were working on the stretcher now. I sat by myself off to the side. I hadn't spoken since I'd yelled at Desmond the night before. I was so angry and upset. I wanted to scream, cry, punch and hug at the same time… but instead, I sat there silently.

"You can't trust 'em, you know," Charlie said. It was the first thing anyone had said in at least half an hour.

"What's that?" Desmond asked quietly.

"The others," Charlie clarified. "The one you let go. He'll be back tomorrow with five of his mates. You should've killed him."

"Charlie," Jin said quietly. "Uh, tight."

"Oh, okay," Charlie said, tying the knots tighter.

"You know, brotha… by my count, you've killed more of them than they've killed of you," Desmond said. I looked up, wanting to yell that, while we tortured one, they tortured five… possibly seven, if Michael and Walt were tortured too.

"They started it," Charlie said defensively. It sounded like a weak defense, but they really did. When you kidnap a pregnant woman and cause her to become deathly ill after she delivers, you deserve to be killed. "You know, just 'cause one comes traipsing back with Jack and Kate doesn't mean we can trust 'em now." I smiled a little at Charlie's defense. I know he had my back. I had to remember to give him a hug.

"Hey guys!" Hurley yelled. I looked over to him. The woman was moving. I got up and hurried over, the other behind me.

"Alright, relax, we just pulled a branch out of you," I said.

"Listen… tell them what you told me about the plane," He said to the woman. She turned to me and Charlie.

"They…. They found the plane. There were no survivors," She said. I looked to Charlie who was kneeling next to me, then back down at her. "They were all dead." I stared at her in disbelief at what I was hearing.

"What?" I asked.

**Da-nuh-nuh! Excited? The season finale of season three is approaching! Then we're half way done with the series! Frowny face. But it's fun! YAYE!**


	61. The Brig

**Okie, dokie, this episode is significantly shorter, I think, but still important… all of these are, what am I saying? Hahaha. Anyway, enjoy The Brig!**

"I need you to explain everything to me… slowly," I said to Naomi, laying on her stretcher. She had a thick British accent.

"Flight 815 was found at the bottom of the ocean. No survivors, all the corpses were there…"

"What do you mean..." Charlie interrupted.

"Charlie," I said, stopping him midsentence. I looked back down to her, asking her to continue with my nod.

"I was sent as part of a rescue team to rescue him," She said, pointing to Desmond. His face lit up.

"Who? Sent by who?" He asked excitedly.

"A Miss Penelope Widmore," Naomi elaborated. Desmond smiled and ran his hands over his hair. I was frustrated, by tried my best not to let it show.

"Continue," I insisted.

"She gave us a set of coordinates, but we searched and there were no land masses in the surrounding area. She insisted that we make a tangible effort at a search and rescue, though, so we came out here. I was in my chopper, flying back to the freighter when I could see land. Then, I realized I was going down. So I grabbed my 'chute and I bailed," She explained. I nodded slowly.

"How many people are on your frieghter?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Approximately 75, all prepared for a rescue of sorts," She said. I nodded, smiling a little. We were getting off this rock...

"Do you know why your phone isn't working?" I asked her, looking into Hurley's hands where the satellite phone lay.

"I'm not sure," She said, shaking her head and laying back down, closing her eyes. I nodded, standing up.

"We should get her back to camp," I said. A congregation of nods agreed, and we got ready to go.

* * *

It was a long journey back to camp. We left just before noon, and got back at around 1:00 a.m. It was good timing, though: we had decided that we couldn't tell Jack about the woman yet. We didn't know if we could trust him. We'd decided that we'd keep her a secret for now, and learn as much as we could, then tell the others. We brought her over to Hurley's tent, putting her down softly on the bed. Desmond and Charlie started fixing her up a comfortable spot, and I went out of the tent with Hurley and Jin to make sure the airplane blanket-curtain closed enough to conceal her presence.

"No, this side needs to close more," I said, reaching above Hurley's head and yanking the blanket over slightly more to close it all the way.

"Is that good?" Hurley asked.

"Good," Jin answered, as we let the curtains drop into place.

"What the hell are ya'll doin?" I heard behind us. We all spun around, Hurley and Jin on either side of me, to see Sawyer, standing in front of his tent.

"What the hell are you doin?" Hurley asked back.

"I'm goin' to take a leak," Sawyer replied, turning to us.

"Yeah, well, so are we," Hurley said. Jin and I looked to Hurley. The three of us were going to pee together. I laughed a little bit at his horrible excuse and looked over at Sawyer. He looked tired, and kind of out of it.

"Well, alrighty then," He answered, passing us to go into the jungle. I hit Hurley's chest.

"What?" He asked.

"We were all going to pee?" I asked. He looked over my head, realizing how stupid he sounded.

"Oh…" I laughed again. Desmond came out of the tent angrily.

"Shh, she's sleeping," He ordered me. As soon as I saw him, the smile disappeared from my face, replaced by an angry grimace. I turned to Hurley.

"I'm going to bed. See you in the morning?" I asked. He nodded. I walked away quickly, going to my tent. It would be nice to finally get some sleep.

* * *

I walked over to Hurley's tent to see Hurley and Jin standing and waiting outside of it.

"What's up?" I asked quietly.

"Charlie went to get her food," Hurley said. Desmond poked his head out of the tent and came out. Charlie, just a second later came around the tent with a tray full of food. Jin took the tray from him and went into the tent.

"Thanks, Jin," Charlie said, patting him on the back as he disappeared into Hurley's tent. "We have to tell Jack," Charlie said to Desmond.

"What? No," I answered. "We can't trust him. What if he's working with the others?"

"But shouldn't he check out her wound?" Hurley asked.

"Can you give me your word that Jack can be trusted?" Desmond asked. He was on my side, which was nice, but I still didn't want to talk to him. "That he spent ten days with those people, and nothing happened to him?" It looked like he understood what I said to him the other night: the others are incredibly dangerous. "And that woman he's spendin' all his time with…"

"Juliet?" Charlie answered.

"Aye, Juliet," Desmond said, turning to Charlie, "two weeks ago, she had your friends in cages. Naomi… I mean, you heard everything that she said. If we keep her safe, she's our way off this island," Desmond whispered. "So given that: do you trust Jack? Or don't you?" Desmond looked between Charlie and Hurley to see faces that agreed with mine: no. We didn't trust Jack. "Right. So we better bring in someone we can trust."

"Like who?" I asked.

"Sayid," He answered. I thought it over: that was the best choice. I didn't think he would go to Jack. I nodded.

"Who's gonna tell him?" I asked, looking around at our circle. Everyone was quiet for a second.

"I'll do it," Hurley said. I smiled. Hurley headed off towards Sayid's tent, and Desmond went back into Hurley's tent. I sat outside and held guard.

* * *

Charlie was pacing in front of me.

"Don't worry, they'll come any minute now," I said, leaning against one of the bamboo supports of Hurley's tent.

"Yeah, but… shouldn't they be here by now?" He asked. Suddenly, they were here: Sayid and Hurley walked in front of me. I stood up and looked at Charlie, nodding.

"You've already spoken to her?" Sayid asked us.

"Yeah, but you're gonna wanna hear it for yourself," Charlie answered.

"And you haven't told Jack?" Sayid asked. I shook my head.

"No," I answered. Sayid smiled a little.

"Good," He replied. I turned, smiling, and led him into the tent. Desmond was dabbing Naomi's face with a wet cloth, and turned to see us. He nodded to Sayid, and Sayid sat down at the foot of the bed. She opened her eyes to see him. "My name is Sayid Jarrah. I understand your helicopter crashed on to the island."

"Actually, it crashed in the water," She answered.

"What's your name?" Sayid asked.

"Naomi," She replied. "Naomi Dorrit."

"Naomi: from where exactly did you take off?" Sayid asked.

"A ship," She replied. "Freighter. About eighty nautical miles west of here. I'm part of a search and recovery team."

"You told my friends the wreckage of flight 815 was discovered. Did you mean the partial wreckage?" Sayid asked.

"No… they found the entire plane off the coast of Bali. In an ocean trench four miles deep," She answered. "They sent these cameras in these little robots to survey the wreck. The bodies were all there." Sayid looked around, nervous.

"Well… obviously, we're not dead," Sayid answered.

"Obviously," Naomi smiled.

"So if you weren't looking for us, then who were you looking for?" Sayid asked.

"Him," Naomi answered, looking up to Desmond, who had a smug smirk on his face.

"Desmond?" Sayid asked.

"My company was hired by a woman named Penelope Widmore. I don't know why, I never met her. She gave us a set of coordinates. We've been conducting a differential GPS grid search ever since," She said, explaining things I didn't understand.

"You knew about the island," Sayid asked more than said.

"Island? We were given coordinates in the middle of the bloody ocean. We thought it was a fool's errand… till three days ago. I was flying back to the ship when all of a sudden, the clouds cleared and I saw land. The instruments started spinning… I realized I was going down, so… I grabbed my 'chute and I bailed," Naomi explained, almost exactly how she explained yesterday. Sayid nodded complacently.

"Did you actually see her helicopter?" Sayid asked Desmond after a pause. I furrowed my brow, confused.

"No," Desmond said, thinking back.

"You think I'm lying, mate?" She asked.

"And I take it you have no means whatsoever of communicating with that freighter of yours," Sayid assumed. I smiled to myself.

"What was your name?" Naomi asked. "Sayid?"

"Yes," Sayid answered, as if in the middle of an interrogation. Naomi pulled out her satellite phone, revealing it to a very surprised Sayid.

"Remind me not to rescue you, Sayid," She said. I laughed under my breath.

"Well," Sayid said eventually, "this changes things."

* * *

Hurley walked back towards his tent, where I was standing with Charlie. Sayid followed behind Hurley. I smiled, until I saw Kate walk out from where Sayid and Hurley were. I looked at Hurley curiously. He just looked at the ground silently, though.

"Kate knows," Sayid said.

"What?" I asked, angry at the fact that we'd lost control of the situation.

"She's gonna go straight to Jack!" Charlie said.

"We know, she saw the satellite phone, and… we had to tell her," Sayid said. I shook my head and put my hand on my forehead.

"What happened?" Desmond said, coming out of the tent.

"Kate knows," I said. Desmond looked angrily to Sayid.

"She saw the phone! There was nothing I could do!"

"Damn!" Desmond screamed. I stepped back, surprised. He looked around himself, then when back into the tent, still fuming. I looked to Sayid, who was also surprised at his reaction. People around us had also stopped to stare and wonder. I shook my head. There was nothing we could do about it now: Kate, and therefore by extension, Jack knew. Which meant the secret was out. I went back to my tent to take a break before the shit hit the fan.

**Small, but important... the next episode is VERRRRY important. I don't know when I will have time write it... probably not until after Labor Day weekend... sorry! I get to go home though, and I am muy excited!**


	62. The Man Behind The Curtain

**So… guess who lost track of time? Who would've guessed that adjusting to college life was a big deal? Anyway, I've had a very busy first semester, and only see myself getting busier, but I'm hoping to start writing again! So, here's an important episode… The Man Behind the Curtain!**

I sat on my bed, looking down at my sand flooring. I was leaning forward, my left hand resting between my legs, and my right hand holding my necklace tightly.

It only made sense that Desmond would betray me like that. After all of the messes I've been involved in… the heartbreak…

_I looked down at my homework, thinking about my hatred for math. I let out a sigh of boredom and frustration, only to receive the reply of a quiet whimper from across the room. I looked up, over the foot of my bed, to see the tiny cradle, with small hands flailing about just above the edges. I smiled, and dropped my pencil on my binder, getting up and walking over to the cradle. Morgan's tiny hand grabbed my pinky, and a small smile spread across her cute little face. Her sparkling blue eyes met mine, and I smiled, wanting to cry at her beauty. I reached my hands in and picked her up, holding her close to me, and never breaking eye contact with her. She giggled a little and blew spit bubbles. I laughed at her adorable ways. The door to my room swung open, and my mother came in. Her eyes met mine, and she folded her arms over her chest and tightened her lips._

"_We need to talk," She said grimly. My smile faded a little, but I looked back down at Morgan, and my face brightened again._

"_What about?" I asked, still staring into Morgan's eyes._

"_Can you put it down?" She asked, frustrated. I looked up at her, my smile gone._

"_It?" I asked, angry. She sighed. I didn't want to argue, or upset Morgan, so I lay her down in her crib and walked over to my bed, sitting down with my homework. My mom eventually started talking._

"_Your principle called," She said, readjusting her stance. "You're failing math."_

"_I realize this," I said, trying to work diligently on solving a problem._

"_You used to be good at math…"_

"_Yeah, well that was before I got pregnant and had to leave school, and had a baby," I explained, temporarily looking up from my work._

"_Exactly," She said. I stared at her, confused and angry at what I thought she was trying to imply. She calmly sat down on my bed near me, her back erect and eyes softly judging me. "Have you thought about… what's best for this baby…"_

"_I have. What's best is for her to be with her mother," I said, sitting up and staring angrily at her._

"_Is that the best for her?" My mother questioned me. I let out a breath of anger, sadness, and disbelief._

"_Are you saying I should give her away?" I asked, hoping I was wrong._

"_Carmen, there are plenty of loving families that would take care of her. She could be happy, and perfectly supported…."_

"_She can be happy and supported with me!" I answered angrily._

"_How? With a high school degree?" She asked me. I didn't know how to respond; I still couldn't believe she was suggesting this. "I'm just saying… think about what's best for both of you."_

"_What's best is for us to be together," I said angrily. My mother quieted as Morgan began to cry. I stared my mother down, telling her to get out and not come back with my glare. She stood up silently and walked to the door. I walked over to the crib and picked up Morgan._

"_Just think about what we've talked about today," My mother said, then left. I looked after her for a moment, then looked down into Morgan's eyes, which had quieted since I'd picked her up. I couldn't share her… I could never share Morgan._

I stared into the sand, picturing Morgan's face. I'd tried to bury my past, but… she's a part of me. How are you supposed to get rid of something that composes your existence?

"Carmen?" I heard from the entrance of my tent. I looked up to see Desmond's face, peering in at me. I shook my head, and began to stand. "Can we talk?"

"No," I said, pushing past him. He hurried after me, though, and grabbed my arm.

"Carmen, please, I just…"

"I don't care, Desmond," I said. His expression was one of regret, and sadness, but I didn't want to talk. I turned to face him. "The other night…. You showed where your priorities lie," I explained, "and they're not with me." He frowned, but didn't reply; didn't argue the validity of what I said. I nodded, knowing that if we were anything, or were going to be anything, we weren't anymore. I turned away from him and walked down the beach alone. I didn't have anywhere to walk to, but I walked.

* * *

_I sat at the bottom of the stairs by the lockers and waited for Josh to come around so that we could talk. I wanted to talk to him last night, after my mother talked to me about adoption, but I knew I should do my school work._

"_Hey," Josh said, sounding out of breath. I looked up into his face and smiled._

"_Hey," I said, standing up._

"_So what's up?" Josh asked me. We began to walk around the outside of the school, as I explained everything my mom said last night. "She wants you to give Morgan up for adoption?" He asked. I nodded._

"_I was just wondering what you thought, I guess," I said, looking away from Josh. I could feel his eyes on me intently._

"_Never," He said. I looked up at him. "Carmen, there are only two things in this world that are important to me, and that's you and Morgan. As soon as I graduate, I'll get us a place, and try to get at least a community college degree, and we'll all live together and finally be a family." He lifted my chin until our eyes met. "This is our family." I nodded and smiled, glad to know that someone would back me up if my parents pushed me anymore._

I sat in the sand, staring at the sun as it set. I hadn't thought of Josh so much in a long time. I don't know why, but he hasn't been a very present thought since the crash. I wonder what he's doing now… now that he thinks that I'm dead. Did he go to L.A.? Or did he just give up on Morgan? I wonder… is he with another woman now? Did he go to college, like I always knew he wanted to?

"Carmen," Claire said from behind me, holding Aaron.

"Yeah," I said, turning around.

"Come on, something's going on. Sayid and Sawyer have some big news or something," She hurried off. I guess that means we're telling everyone about Naomi. But wait… what did Sawyer have to say? He didn't know about Naomi… did he? I got up and walked over to the gathering of people around the kitchen area.

_I walked through my front door, and shut it behind me._

"_Mom, you home?" I asked loudly. I slipped my shoes off at the door and walked towards the stairs. My mom emerged from the living room… and my dad behind her. I stopped. "Dad, why are you home?" He was usually still at work for another three or four hours. He looked down at his feet, with his hands in his pockets, and my mother folded her hands in front of her._

"_Carmen, we need to talk," She said grimly. I shook my head._

"_We already talked. Mom, there isn't anything you can say or do that will make me want to give up my baby…"_

"_We know that," My mother replied, her eyes closed, and her head down. She looked up at my slowly and opened her eyes. "We couldn't leave it up to you." I didn't understand… I stood silently for a moment, trying to fully comprehend what they were saying to me. They couldn't… how could they… they wouldn't…_

_I dropped my backpack and sprinted up the stairs, nearly tripping, and turned down the hallway, bursting through my door. I hurried to the side of the crib to see it empty. I looked around my room, panic and anguish filling my heart and eyes._

"_Morgan!" I yelled, hoping a whimper or giggle would answer me. She couldn't be gone, she couldn't be… I sprinted out of my room and down to the kitchen, where the other cradle was. When I found it to be bare, I looked around me in panic, wishing for divine intervention, or something to help me from the devastation that was hitting me._

"_Carmen…" My mother whispered quietly. But I couldn't hear her… I felt like a bomb had just detonated right next to me. My insides felt ruptured, and I could feel the blood trickling out of my broken heart. My ears were ringing, and the empty space I was in felt like an asylum. "Carmen," My mother said. I snapped back into the kitchen, where my mother and father were looking at me, expecting a response. I stormed over to my mother._

"_Where is she?" I demanded. She sighed, and looked at her hands. "Where is she?" I screamed. She looked back up at me, jolting in shock at my anger._

"_We gave her to a family from Australia," She said. I let out a breath of despair. I put my hands to my face, turning away from them. "This is what's best," my mother whispered. They had taken Morgan… they had taken my life, my world, and it was what's best… "Now, you can have the life you want."_

"_The only life I want is with her!" I screamed, turning back to them. My face was soaked in tears. How could these people not understand… my father tried to approach me. "Get away from me," I stated, backing away. "You may never speak to me again," I said, looking from him to my mother. I ran up stairs to my room and grabbed a backpack, putting a hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, clothes, and Morgan's pictures in it. I emptied my stash of money that I've had since I was a small girl, containing Christmas, tooth fairy, and money from small work, into the bag, saving forty dollars to put in my small wallet. I sat in my room until darkness shrouded the house, then crept across the hall, into my parents room. I opened my father's armoire, and pulled his wallet off of the top shelf. I opened it and took out all of the cash that was inside: a good $300. I snuck downstairs, my backpack on my back, and snuck towards the front door._

"_What would you have done if she was taken from you, Kathy…"_

"_It doesn't matter… I did what's best for her, whether she knows it or now…"_

_My parents were arguing over me, but I didn't care. They aren't my parents anymore…_

_I crept out the front door, closing it softly behind me, and never looking back._

_

* * *

_

I stood silently , leaning over the side of the kitchen counter as Sayid explained Naomi's existence. I stood next to Claire, who was confused and upset. Hurley brought Naomi out to be with us all while Sayid was talking, and when he finally finished, everyone was quiet.

"So, what, the whole world thinks we're dead?" Claire asked, frustrated.

"That's not important right now," Sayid said.

"Not important?" Sun questioned.

"What do you mean 'it's not important,' Sayid?" Claire asked, upset at his dismissal.

"Excuse me," Naomi interrupted, "I'm sorry, don't you people want to be rescued?" Claire quieted down.

"We kept her a secret to keep her safe," Sayid explained.

"Safe from what, Sayid?" Kate asked, angry.

"Safe from Jack. He spent a week with the others, and he brought one of them back with him. Here. Amongst us. And every time we try to get answers from this woman, he prevents her from giving them," Sayid reminded us all.

"Well, it's Jack," Sun said, "He would never do anything to hurt us. And Juliet? I believe she's a good person."

"Good person, huh?" Sawyer asked, "You basing that on what? Wouldn't involve her taking you to one of their medical stations, would it now, Mrs. Kwon?"

"How…" Sun started, but Sawyer interrupted her… with a tape recorder. He lifted it up, and we all listened silently.

"Kwon is pregnant. The fetus is healthy and was conceived on-island with her husband. He was sterile before they got here," Juliet's voice said from the recorder. Jin said something in Korean, but no one answered him as the tape went on. "I'm still working on getting samples from the other women. I should have Austen's and Lawrence's soon. I'll report back when I know more."

"Where'd you get that?" Jack asked. I looked to my left to see him standing with Juliet. I stood up straight. They thought I was pregnant…

"Where have you been Jack?" Sayid asked. They thought I was pregnant…

"I asked where you got it," Jack repeated.

"You really think you're in a position to be asking us questions?" Sawyer asked angrily. They thought…

"You were running tests on us?" I yelled angrily at Juliet, approaching her. Sawyer reached his arm out and stopped me.

"Turn the tape over," Juliet said.

"Stay out of it," Sawyer demanded angrily, holding me around my waist.

"You wanna burn me at the stake, here I am, but first: turn the tape over, press play," She said. Sawyer hesitantly let me go, and followed her instructions. A voice drifted through the air that gave me shivers.

"Juliet, it's Ben. I'm sending three teams to extract Kwon the night after tomorrow. We don't have time to run Austen's or Lawrence's samples, so if you determine that they, or anyone else is pregnant, mark their tents and we'll take them too. Good luck." I looked angrily at Juliet when the tape clicked, marking its end. Juliet turned to Sun.

"The night I saw your baby on the ultrasound, I told Jack what they were making me do," She explained.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sayid asked Jack.

"Because I hadn't decided what to do about it yet," Jack answered.

"Yet?" Sayid angrily replied. Jack was silent for a moment as he scanned over us.

"I think we've got some catching up to do," He said. "Tomorrow morning… I'll explain everything." He walked away, Juliet shortly behind him. I stayed silent for a moment, angry and upset.

"Carmen, are you…" Sawyer started asking me as the group dispersed.

"I'm fine," I said, pulling out of his grip and hurrying to my tent, alone. They thought I was pregnant…

"_Josh!" I whispered loudly. I looked around me, hoping no one noticed I was there. I tossed a pebble up at the window, and then another. He finally opened his blinds, and then his window._

"_Carmen?" What are you doing…"_

"_They took Morgan," I said, forgetting to whisper._

"_What?" Josh asked in disbelief._

"_She's in Australia… I'm leaving now. If you want to come, then you need to come now…"_

"_Wait, what? She's in Australia?"_

"_Yes, Josh! And if you ever really wanted a family, then you need to get dressed, pack a bag and leave with me right now!" I yelled. He stood in the window for a moment, then dashed inside. I waited by his house for about five minutes, and then I heard the front door open. I peered around the side of the house, and saw him closing the door quietly behind him. I hurried over to him._

"_Do you know where in Australia?" He asked._

"_No. But I figured I'd start in Sydney," I said. He nodded, and we walked towards his parent's car. He pulled a key out of his pocket._

"_I have a friend… he'll give us a few thousand in cash for my dad's Mercedes, and then I have some cash from my Grandpa. He was gonna give me the down payment for a small house in Fairfax. With all that, we should have somewhere around $150,000. That's enough to get us to Sydney, and to take care of us for a little while while we search." I smiled and threw my arms around him, crying a little._

"_Thank you," I said._

"_This is our family…"_

_

* * *

_

I sat on my bed, my face in my hands. I heard someone walk into my shelter.

"Sawyer, I really just don't want to talk about it," I said, not looking up to look at him. Someone sat down next to me on the bed. I shook my head, and took my head out of my hands, and looked beside me. But my teary eyes only met those of Desmond's. "Desmond…"

"Carmen, please, I just want to talk…"

"About what?" I asked, upset.

"About the tape," He said. He was talking about Juliet's tape. "They think… they thought that…"

"I know," I said, shaking my head. We were silent for a moment.

"I suppose they think I'm the father," He said. I nodded.

"Probably," I replied. We were quiet again.

"Carmen…" Desmond finally said, "I love Penny. I'm sorry… I know how I came off, and I meant to, but I never should have…"

"I know," I said, nodding. "I think I love Josh."

"Who?" Desmond asked, confused. I shook my head.

"I did it, too. I shouldn't have flirted with you, but… I guess… I was lonely, and afraid, and… needed a friend. You were there, and… I guess I made a mistake," I said. He nodded. I looked away from him.

"I still…" He started, then hesitated. "I still want to be there for you," He said. I nodded, and smiled.

"We can be friends," I said. He hesitantly smiled. We were quiet a moment. He touched my chin with his finger, and pulled my face to his, just like Josh did. He pulled me into him, and our lips touched. We kissed for a moment, and just as I felt his tongue brush over my lips, I pulled away.

"I'm sorry," He said quickly. I nodded, then walked out of my tent, not knowing any other way to escape the pressure I felt around me. Friends… just friends… I can do that. I can… please say I can…

**Oh dear… drama at the Losties camp! Alright, the season is coming to a close! I'll try to update soon, I promise!**


	63. Greatest Hits

**Okay, so we're getting down into the last few episodes of season three! My boyfriend and I broke up, so now I should have PLENTY of time to work on things I want to work on! Okay, here's Greatest Hits!**

We marched in a long line from the beach through jungle, and tall grasses. Jack and Juliet, the dynamic duo, led the group of us, and we all followed, questioning why Jack needed to take us into the woods to explain what he'd been up to for the past couple of weeks. Sayid followed closely behind Juliet, with Jin and Sun following him, and Kate shortly behind. Sawyer stuck near to Kate, but looked back every once in a while at me, shooting an occasional glare back at Desmond. Hurley followed behind Sawyer, and I followed him, with Desmond shortly behind me, seeming slightly protective. It kind of frustrated me that he was hovering so close, but I understood why he was doing it: because we were following Juliet, who was supposed to be kidnapping pregnant women, and the others thought I might be pregnant.

Behind Desmond, Claire and Charlie followed, having left Aaron with Rose back at camp. When I asked her why she didn't want to come, she said, "I'm sure you'll all fill me in when you get back."

We walked in silence for a little while, until Charlie spoke from the back.

"Anyone want to venture to guess as to what Jack's gonna be showin' us out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"I dunno… stuff," Hurley suggested, "probably secret stuff."

"Why does everything have to be such a secret?" Charlie asked. "How about some openness for a change?"

"We kept the parachute lady secret," Hurley said, reminding us all of our protectiveness of Naomi.

"Aye, that's different," Charlie said.

"Different how?" Claire asked.

"Well, because we weren't out there playing football with them!" Charlie called up.

"Right," Claire responded cynically. I smiled a little, but it faded quickly. I didn't feel Desmond's presence behind me anymore, but I didn't look back to find him. I just looked in front of me and kept moving until Jack stopped and turned around.

"We're here," He said. We all moved forward and grouped together in front of Jack and Juliet. Desmond walked up and stood behind me. "A couple of nights ago, Juliet came to me and she told me everything. That Ben had sent her here to find out which of our women were pregnant…" Humiliation shrouded my thoughts, but thankfully, Kate averted the attention back to Juliet.

"So, what? You guys were doing tests on us?" She asked.

"No, but that's what he wanted me to do. I've been leaving tapes at the medical station. You all heard what he said: they're coming tomorrow. Sun," She turned her eyes and looked to Sun directly, who looked angry, hurt and embarrassed. "I'm sorry that I lied to you."

"While I appreciate your honesty, Jack," Sayid interrupted, "it doesn't explain why you brought us out here." Jack nodded, and turned towards the trees.

"Danielle!" He hollered. We all looked at the treeline to see Danielle Rousseau emerge. Jack walked towards her and took his backpack off. "Show 'em." Danielle removed a leafy branch from the ground, revealing a dark block with wires connected to it. She picked something up… it looked like a detonator…

Suddenly, a screaming bang spread through the air. I turned to my left to see the base of a huge tree aflame, spitting fire and smoke. I backed up in shock and fear. Desmond grabbed me around my waist and pulled me back with him instinctively. The tree toppled over in a defeated thud, coughing smoke. Once my wits were gathered, my eyes found Jack.

"When Juliet told me they were coming, the first thing I thought was, 'where the hell are we gonna hide this time?' But hiding's pointless. They're just gonna keep coming back. So I went out and I found some help," Jack said, looking to Danielle. "And for the past few days, she's been bringing dynamite back from The Black Rock. For the very first time, we know exactly what they want, when they're coming to get it, and they have no idea that we're gonna be waiting for them. So Juliet's gonna mark the tents with the white rocks just like she was told to… but there's not gonna be any pregnant women inside. There's gonna be plenty of what we just used on that tree. So tomorrow night… we stop hiding. We stop running. We stop living in fear… because when they show up… we're gonna blow 'em all to hell."

* * *

"Do you think it's gonna work?" I asked Sawyer as we walked along the beach towards camp. He shrugged a little.

"Why not? Captain Jack seems to have it all planned out," He answered. I nodded. I looked ahead of me, thinking about that tape again… the tape about pregnancy… "Hey," Sawyer said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He put his hand on my shoulder and stopped, turning me to face him. "You okay?" I nodded, trying to pretend nothing was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I smiled, trying to turn away. But Sawyer kept a firm grip on my shoulder, and grabbed my other forearm.

"Carmen," He insisted. I stopped and turned back to face him. My fake smile went away. Sawyer was serious… he just wanted to help me, and I could see it in his face.

"We didn't… we never… slept together," I said, quietly. Sawyer came closer to me, his face serious. "It's just… I don't know… scary? Worrisome, I guess?" He nodded, and hugged me. I leaned into him, and felt safe and comforted. I missed him. I wanted to be with him more. When I pulled away, I was really smiling. "Why don't we do something productive? I'm sure they could use more people doing something…"

* * *

I split another wire, and could feel a small callous developing on my palm from the knots I was tying. Sawyer was doing the same next to me.

"Hey!" Hurley screamed suddenly, dropping his shovel, and looking down the beach. "Look, there! Look!" He shouted. Sawyer and I stood up and followed his gaze to see someone paddling an outrigger into shore. Sayid took off down the beach and we followed. As we all got closer, I could see it was Karl. Unfortunately, Sayid didn't know him, and tackled Karl at full speed to the sand.

"Sayid, stop!" I yelled. Sawyer stood next to me.

"Get off him, damn it, it's okay," Sawyer said, placing a calming hand on Sayid's back. But he looked up in fury.

"What? He's one of them!" Sayid yelled, forcing Karl deeper into the sand.

"I know! I know, it's okay," Sawyer said, pushing Sayid up and helping Karl up with me.

"We saved him from being brainwashed," I said.

"He was in the cage next to me," Sawyer added.

"What are you doing here, Karl?" I asked.

"They're… coming… my people…" He panted out. I put my hand to my forehead.

"Sorry you came all this way for nothing, but we already know," Sawyer said.

"Then why are you still here?" Karl asked angrily.

"'Cause when your people show up here tomorrow night, we're gonna be ready for 'em," Sawyer answered.

"Tomorrow? No… no, they're coming tonight," Karl said. I turned in shock to Sawyer, who still stared at Karl in shock. He turned away and looked at me with a look of anxiety on his face. "They're coming right now!" He yelled. I grabbed Karl's wrist and broke away from the group.

"Jack!" I yelled, pulling Karl along with me. I could hear the rest of the group following behind us in a panicked run, but I just pulled Karl forward. "Jack!" I yelled again. He emerged from behind a tent with Danielle and Juliet. He looked grimly at Karl with Juliet, and Danielle looked at him distrustfully. "Explain," I demanded from Karl. He panted out his response, slurring his words, but as the rest of the camp gathered around to hear, we could make out most of what he said.

"I… was staying in a cave near everyone else. Alex came… she told me Price was coming to your camp… with a team of nine other people. Now… he'll be here tonight. She said they're gonna kill the people they take," He huffed out. Jack paced in front of him, angry and confused.

"Is that everything?" He asked, stopping and looking up at Karl. He nodded.

"Yeah." Jack looked back to Kate.

"Do you trust him?" He asked. Kate shrugged a little.

"You don't trust me?" Karl said, frustrated, and eager. "What about her?" He asked, pointing to Juliet. "She's a spy! She's supposed to mark the tents of pregnant women with white rocks so they can take them!"

"They know, Karl, but thanks," Juliet replied snidely.

"So what are we gonna do?" Hurley asked.

"We have to leave now… hide," Sun said.

"Where? It's their island. If they wanna kill us, they'll find us," Bernard responded, pessimistic. Everyone quieted at once, turning to Jack for answers.

"Sun's gonna go down in a few hours… do we have enough wire yet?" Jack asked.

"Not even close," Danielle replied, matter-of-factly.

"We'll have to figure out a different way to set the dynamite off…" Jack thought out loud.

"We could shoot them," Sayid suggested.

"We don't have enough guns. He said that ten of them are coming. Armed…"

"Not the others, the tents. We could camouflage the dynamite next to the tents, target it from our positions at the tree line," Sayid explained. While his suggestion was sound, it meant we had to leave people behind…

"Juliet marked three tents, that means we need three guns," Jack said. Karl pulled a handgun out from the back of his jeans, holding it towards Jack.

"Whoa!" Hurley yelled, jumping out of the line of fire of the gun in a shocked frenzy.

"Here. You can have mine, too," Karl said, placing the gun in Sayid's hand. Sayid looked cautiously to Jack.

"I'll be a third," Danielle offered. Jack nodded.

"We'll take your gun, but you're not staying here," Jack said. He turned and looked around at all of us, anxious for something to happen. It seemed like we were stuck in these tight situations far too often. "You're gonna lead everyone to the radio tower, everyone."

"Radio tower?" Claire questioned.

"If this doesn't work, we can't risk losing the chance of getting in contact with Naomi's boat, so everything has to happen at the same time. Charlie, you still up for a swim?" Jack asked. I looked across the group to Charlie, who solemnly nodded.

"Yeah, I believe I am," He replied. Jack nodded.

"I'll go with him," Desmond said. Something didn't feel right… wait. Did Desmond and Charlie know something that I didn't? Did he have another flash?

"Okay… better get to it," Jack said, backing out of the group. People quickly dispersed and went about their business.

"Better pack your bags, San Diego, we're hittin' the road again," Sawyer said as he passed me. I smiled a little, but was worried about Charlie. Karl approached me.

"What now?" He asked. I nodded.

"We'll find you a pack and a water bottle… we need to get ready," I said, leading him back towards my tent. I wanted to talk to Desmond and Charlie, but I had work to do, and I had to watch Karl. I'd have time later.

I was nervous about the others coming early; it made me feel like they knew what was going on. Karl made it seem like he had no idea what we were up to though, and I don't think he would have any reason to trick us.

* * *

We sat in my tent, packing bags. In my backpack, I put a grey, zip-up sweatshirt, some t-shirts, and some water bottles.

"So, uh," Karl started, "how have you been?" The last time I'd seen Karl, he'd kissed me out of desperate sadness. Since then, Sawyer's been there for me more, and there was all the drama with Desmond and Naomi, and I didn't really know how to answer Karl's question.

"Good," I said, zipping my bag closed, and avoiding eye contact. "How's Alex?" I asked, retying my shoe laces.

"She's good," Karl nodded, nodding. We were silent for a second, sitting awkwardly. "Hey, um… about that one time… I… I didn't mean to… I mean I shouldn't have… kissed you," Karl stuttered. I almost chuckled.

"It's okay, Karl," I said, looking over at him for the first time in a while. "I understand, and agree. It was an accident. Don't worry, I don't… I don't think of you like that," I said, matter-of-factly. He nodded kind of awkwardly, almost like he was disappointed that I considered him only a friend. I picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder, standing up.

* * *

Sayid walked around the camp, looking prepared. I hurried over to him, followed by Karl, who had been following me around for a while now, unsure of what else to do.

"Hey," I said, approaching him. He stopped pacing around the camp and looked between me and Karl.

"Hello, Carmen," He said casually.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked. He looked at Karl once more, almost unsure that he could trust him. "He's fine, don't worry." Sayid looked back to me.

"I'm staying behind to shoot one of the tents," He said. "Jin and Bernard are staying to shoot the others."

"I thought Jack was staying," I said.

"Jack is going with everyone else to the radio tower," Sayid answered. I nodded. "Hopefully, by then, Charlie will have disabled the jamming device in The Looking Glass…"

"Oh my God, Charlie!" I remembered. I'd completely forgotten about Charlie and Desmond. I turned, and looked to Karl. "Stay here," I said, as I hurried down the beach. I could see Hurley walking away from the outrigger, looking a little bummed. "Charlie!" I yelled as I hurried over. He turned to look at me, and Desmond stood by the side of the boat. "You leaving?" I asked as I reached them.

"Yeah, we're just about to shove off," Charlie said.

"Why are you… what's going on? Really?" I asked, looking between the two of them. Desmond looked to Charlie, hesitant, but Charlie just shrugged.

"We're gonna go down to that station, and we're gonna turn off that..."

"Charlie, you can't swim," I said. Charlie stopped mid-sentence. "I remember… that's why you didn't go into the water to save that girl that drowned the sixth day we were here. That's why Boone went in after her," I said. Charlie looked down at his feet, and over to Desmond, who stood there silently. "Does this have to do with Desmond's… visions?" I asked. They were silent, but looked around as if they were trying to think of another excuse. "And you're going anyway?" I asked, frustrated.

"I didn't die in this one," Charlie said. I looked to him.

"What?" I asked.

"In Desmond's vision. I didn't die. Helicopters came, and rescued us," He said. I looked to Desmond to confirm what he was saying. He nodded.

"That's what he told you when we were looking for Naomi, too. And you almost died then," I said. Charlie shook his head.

"Not this time," He said, almost smiling. "This time's different."

"Carmen!" I heard behind me. Karl was yelling down the beach. "They're all getting ready to go!" I looked back to Charlie and Desmond.

"Come with us… I'm sure there's another way. This sounds too dangerous…"

"It'll be fine. We'll be right behind you," Charlie said. I wanted to argue, but I needed to get back. I walked up to Charlie and hugged him, still somewhat doubtful of his honesty.

"Just be safe," I said, as he hugged me. When I let go of him, I looked to Desmond. He stared right back into my eyes as I approached him. I leaned forward into his chest and put my arms around him, as he held me close. "Take care of him," I said softly. I let go of him a little. He smiled a little at me.

"Don't worry… it'll be alright," He said to me. I smiled, knowing he'd keep his word.

"Carmen!" I heard Karl yell again. I let go of Desmond, and looked between the two, smiling a little.

"Be careful, okay?" I said to the two of them as I hurried back up the beach. When I met up with Karl, I was a little out of breath.

"You ready?" He asked me.

"Yeah, 'course I am," I answered. I looked around at all the faces of my friends, dreading another trek through the jungle. I felt like we'd be okay, though, for some reason. I looked back behind me at the water, knowing that Desmond and Charlie would be heading out onto the water by now. Something told me that they'd be okay. That everyone would be okay. "Yeah… I'm ready."

**Two episodes left, and then season 4! GASP! I'll try to keep updating regularly!**


	64. Through the Looking Glass Part 1

**Here's Part One to Through The Looking Glass! We're so close to finishing season three! AH! (I got into a fanfiction frenzy today lol)**

I stood, leaning over the tarp water collector, filling up my water bottle.

"You ready for another adventure, San Diego?" I heard Sawyer say from behind me. I stood up and turned around to see him, back pack over his shoulder, and smug grin on his face. I smiled a little.

"Guess so," I said. I looked back out at the water, thinking about Desmond. I was worried, but kept my mouth shut.

"Hey," Sawyer said, pulling my attention back to him. "You okay?" I nodded and put the cap on my water bottle, dropping it in my back pack and slinging it back over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said. He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me over to his tent. Karl started to follow me again.

"Sit, Sparky," Sawyer said, talking to Karl. Karl stopped following us. Sawyer let me go in his tent.

"What?" I asked.

"What is your problem?" He asked me under his breath.

"What are you…"

"I see you, looking out there, and I know what you're looking for," Sawyer said, looking to the ocean. I followed his gaze, but quickly looked back down at my feet. "You shouldn't still…"

"I know," I interrupted, looking up at him. "I know I shouldn't, but… it's complicated, Sawyer." I tried to leave the tent, but he grabbed my upper arm, holding me back.

"What ever happened to Josh?" He asked me. I looked down. For being a young girl stranded on an island, I had a really messed up romance life.

"Look… nothing's going on with anyone, so it doesn't matter," I said.

"Alright!" I heard Jack yell. "Let's do it!" Everyone started moving down the beach.

"Let's just go," I said, looking back to Sawyer. His eyes told me he was worried; upset; wanted to help me. He was like a father, or big brother to me in so many ways. He looked away and let out a breath of frustration, but nodded, and loosened his grip on my arm. He adjusted his backpack, and we followed everyone down the beach, Karl following shortly behind me. I looked back briefly to see Sayid, Jin and Bernard standing alone down the beach, and suddenly fear struck my veins. What if things didn't go as smoothly as I thought?

* * *

We walked over rough beaches, and through the jungle as the sun fell. I didn't talk much throughout the hike. I didn't think much either. I was really just eager for something to happen. As the sun dropped below the horizon, I brought my jacket out of my bag and wrapped it around myself. Sawyer walked behind me and Karl walked next to me most of the time. We were walking through a small clearing between jungle space when a boom rang out through the trees. I looked down to the source of the sound to see red light coughing black smoke from our beach. The others came… and the plan was in effect. Another loud boom rang out as red-orange light flumed up into the sky. I heard a few gunshots, but there were no more explosions. My reaction was shared amongst the entire group.

"There were supposed to be three explosions," Rose said, her voice filled with horrified anxiety. I looked to Sawyer, whose expression told me he thought our friends were dead.

"Why were there only two explosions?" Sun asked, anxious.

"Maybe they didn't have to blow the third tent," Jack suggested.

"But those gun shots, what was that about?" Rose asked hurriedly.

"It's okay, Rose," Jack interrupted.

"Do you believe that?" Sun asked, terrified.

"Listen, they had no idea that we were waiting for them. And Sayid's with your husbands, they're gonna be fine, and they're gonna be a couple hours behind us," Jack said.

"Then we should wait for them here," Sun said, obviously desperate to know her husband was safe. "You go on, and…"

"No," Jack commanded. "No one gets left behind."

"If you say 'live together, die alone' to me, Jack, I'm gonna punch you in your face," Rose said, upset.

"Fair enough, Rose," Jack said, laughing, trying to cheer everyone up. "Fair enough. But we have a plan, and for all we know, it worked! It's gonna be okay, everything's gonna be alright. Let's just keep moving, okay?" He shouted to the group. Everyone turned to continue on, but Sawyer stayed for a moment, staring down at our beach.

"You okay?" I asked. He was silent, then turned to me. He looked back at everyone else, and silently began following again. I followed him silently, and hoped that things were okay…

* * *

I walked nearer to Sun and Rose, who had been walking silently for the past hour or two.

"You okay?" I asked quietly. Neither of them answered me. They just walked in silence. After a moment of silence, I hung back, walking beside Sawyer again.

"They okay?" Sawyer asked me.

"They're not talking," I said. Sawyer let out an upset breath. The sun was beginning to rise over the hills behind us. Morning was finally here. I was restless, yet exhausted. I simply pushed forward in silence, waiting for something good to happen.

We took a break at a creek to refill our water bottles. It was probably around 10 or 11 in the morning. I looked up to see a frustrated Kate and a distressed Sawyer coming up from the creek. I hurried up to Sawyer as we started hiking again.

"You okay?" I asked. He looked frustrated. "Hey," I said, stopping him by holding his forearm.

"I'm fine," He said.

"Sawyer, please," I said, wishing he'd be as open with me as I was with him. He sighed, and we started walking again.

"It's just… I was talkin' to Kate. She said she wants to go back to see if they're alright… Jin, Bernard and Sayid. She's right," He said. I looked to him.

"Then why don't the two of you go…"

"I don't want Kate to come with me," He said, frustrated. I was confused.

"But…" Then I understood. "Oh… you're worried about her," I said. He looked down at me like he wanted to argue with what I'd said, but he said nothing. We continued on quietly. "I want you to go back, too," I said. "I'll go with you…"

"No," He said.

"What?" I replied.

"It's just as dangerous…"

"As if I haven't been in dangerous situations before!"

"No," He said. I stopped, and he continued forward a few steps, then turned to face me. "Look, it's just…" He walked back towards me. "If this works, I can't have you be hurt in the last stand." I knew he was just trying to protect me, but he was treating me like a child. I pushed forward past him, and could feel him follow shortly behind. We walked about another twenty minutes when he slowed down behind me. "I'm goin' back," He yelled up. He wasn't yelling to me, though; he was yelling to Jack in front of me. We both turned around.

"What?" Jack answered.

"I'm goin' back to the beach," Sawyer said again. Jack shook his head.

"No way," He said. "We keep movin.'" Jack motioned to move forward.

"I ain't askin' permission," Sawyer answered. Jack turned back to face him, upset at his powerlessness to stop Sawyer. Sawyer stepped forward to him as Jack stepped back towards him, with me in the middle. I stood and listened through the conversation. Kate and Juliet also stopped. "Look, you got a job to do here," Sawyer said to Jack. "I ain't gonna stand in your way of doin' it. You sure as hell don't need me."

"What do you think you're gonna get done? Alone and unarmed?" Jack asked, skeptical. Sawyer's face said it all to me: he needed to go back. He needed to know that Jin, Sayid and Bernard were okay. For all of Sawyer's rough edges, he was a good person.

"He won't be alone, I'll go with him," Kate offered, stepping up.

"No," Sawyer immediately snapped.

"Twenty minutes ago, you weren't even interested in going, and now all of a sudden you're telling Jack that I'm…"

"I didn't wanna go with you," Sawyer said. I could see the hurt on Kate's face.

"Sawyer, it's a suicide mission without guns," Jack said, shaking his head.

"I know where there are some guns," Juliet said, approaching our cluster. "There's a hidden cache a couple of miles from here. I can take us back to the beach in a route past it."

"Juliet, you don't have to do that," Jack said.

"Yeah, Jack, I kinda' do," She answered. I smiled a little at her response. I didn't trust Juliet, but I knew that she'd lose a fight against Sawyer every time. Kate looked angry that Sawyer didn't seem to oppose Juliet's company on his trip.

"Let's do this," Sawyer said softly, moving away. Kate stormed off, and Jack and Juliet were talking while I approached Sawyer.

"Be careful," I said, hugging him around the waist. He put his arms around me and hugged me. I let go and smiled after a few moments.

"Okay, Electra," He answered. I smiled. Sawyer walked ahead, and Juliet followed. I turned around and walked up to Jack, who was staring after them.

"What?" I asked, following his gaze. He shook his head, and we moved forward.

"Nothing," He answered. I looked back, watching Juliet and Sawyer disappear over the hill, and moved forward, hoping nothing else would go wrong…

**One last episode! AHHHHH SOO EXCITED! lol This is what cool college kids do with their time haha!**


	65. Through the Looking Glass Part 2

**Thank you so much for your reviews, guys! I was so happy when I read some of the reviews from you guys… it's good to see people are still actively reading. I'll try to keep updating regularly. But anyway, enough about me… THE LAST EPISODE OF SEASON THREE! AHH! Alright, here goes!**

I imagined Sawyer and Juliet arriving at some secluded location in the middle of the jungle, and finding a case hidden under some brush, filled with guns. In my mind, I saw them storm the beach, triumphing over any 'others' that were left.

Three hours had gone by, but the same hopes flashed through my mind: the hopes that Sawyer would be okay. I was so worried. I walked alone up the sloping hills; I walked within the massive group that was our colony of survivors, but I was alone.

"You okay?" someone asked beside me. I looked up abruptly to see Karl. I looked back in front of me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered coolly.

"How much further, do you think?" He asked. I shrugged.

"It's your island," I answered. I stopped suddenly. The rest of the group all stopped too, when we all saw what was before us. Karl jerked forward, but I grabbed him across his chest, forcing him to stop. Ben stood with his cane, looking intently at Jack. Alex stood off to the side, obviously torn. I didn't know what to think; this could be bad.

"Hello, Jack," Ben greeted us. "We need to talk." Jack took a moment before he moved, but gradually moved forward. Kate went around Ben, supposedly to see if they were really alone. As Jack approached Ben, he threw his bag down on the ground and stretched out his arms, submitting to Jack's mercy. Jack went cautiously around him. Alex looked between Jack, Ben, and Karl.

"Stay here," I said to Karl. I walked around Naomi and headed towards Alex slowly. Jack saw me coming and looked to Alex and nodded quickly. I approached her quickly.

"Hi, I'm Benjamin and I don't believe we've had the pleasure…" Ben started, looking to Naomi.

"Don't talk to him!" Jack yelled at her. I looked back to see her, unsure of what to do, but silent. I grabbed Alex's wrist and pulled her closer to me. "What do you want?" Jack asked Ben.

"Just a moment of your time," Ben replied. "To talk, you and me, alone."

"For what?" Jack asked.

"Jack, you've just killed seven of my people, the least you can give me is five minutes," Ben answered. Jack seemed to submit to Ben here.

"Do you have any weapons on you?" I asked Alex. She shook her head no, looking over my shoulder at Karl. I looked to Jack, who had listened to what I'd asked. Kate came running back over from where Ben and Alex came from. She hurried next to Jack.

"He alone?" He asked Kate.

"There's only two sets of tracks, his and hers," Kate said, pointing between Ben and Alex. Jack looked to me and Alex. Alex looked distressed; torn between what's right, and what's personal. But it didn't matter: she had no control over what would happen.

Jack walked up in front of Ben and stopped abruptly. "Five minutes," He said. Ben nodded and turned slowly. As he started to walk away, Jack reached forward and grabbed the walkie-talkie out of his side pocket. The two disappeared into a slightly wooded area off to the side. I nodded to Alex when the two left eye sight, and walked her over to Karl. As we got closer, Alex hurried forward past me and threw her arms around Karl, who embraced her in return. They looked so happy. It was sweet, but I was almost jealous.

"Carmen," Claire said, approaching me. "What's going on?"

"I'm not really sure," I said, looking to Alex. She looked over at Claire and smiled a little.

"How are you?" Alex asked. Claire had a look of vacant confusion on her face for a moment, and then realized: Alex was the girl that saved her when the others had kidnapped her and were trying to take her baby.

"You're that girl," Claire said, looking between Aaron and Alex. She smiled.

"How's the baby? Aaron?" She asked. Claire smiled and nodded.

"Good, he's good," Claire said. Alex smiled at her.

"Alex," I interrupted. She looked to me. "What is going on?" Her smile faded.

"He's trying to stop you all," She said after a moment.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Ben… he's trying to stop you all from getting off the island," She said.

"Why?" Sun asked, approaching us. "Why does he want us to stay here?"

"He said… he said that if you call that boat… something really bad will happen," She replied.

"What?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know," She answered. Karl wrapped his arm around her.

"You okay?" He asked her. Alex nodded as he brushed some strands of her hair behind her ear. I walked off to the side a bit.

"What do you think's going on?" Kate asked me, coming to my side. I stood silently, looking where Jack and Ben disappeared.

"I don't know," I said. "But I have a bad feeling." After a minute or so of staring, waiting for them to reemerge from the woods, I turned and looked around at the group. People nervously whispered, anticipating the worst. Claire anxiously bounced her baby. Sun and Rose stood close together, nervous for reasons they couldn't entirely explain. Kate tapped my arm anxiously, and I turned around to see Jack and Ben coming back up the hill. Jack's knuckles were bloodied, and Ben's… body… was bloodied. Jack came close and threw him on the ground at Kate's and my feet. The group nervously shifted around.

"Tie him up," Jack panted out, sounding distressed. "He's coming with us." With that, Jack turned around and walked away a bit. Kate moved forward a little, then looked to me.

"Go, I've got this covered," I said, looking after Jack. She took off in his direction. Alex came and knelt down next to Ben. He brought his eyes to hers. There wasn't really empathy or care in Alex's face; only a vacant expression of pity. I looked up and suddenly realized Danielle was standing over Alex.

"What?" Alex asked, seemingly frustrated by Danielle's intent stares. But her eyes were filled with the deepest compassion, the greatest happiness. It was as if Danielle was looking upon her new born child. She silently tried to say something, unable to move her lips quite yet.

"Alex," Ben muttered quietly, "This is your mother." Alex got up quickly, staring into Danielle's eyes. Seeing the two stare at each other showed how strikingly similar they looked. Danielle went to Alex and brushed the hair out of her face. Alex whimpered a little, half out of shock, and half out of relief and excitement.

"Help me tie him up," Danielle said, as she placed her hands softly on Danielle's shoulders. Alex silently complied, still in shock. Ben's hands were bound in front of him, with a long rope extending from them, acting as a sort of leash. After he was tied up, I ran in the direction Jack and Kate went. I saw them together, sitting on the ground.

"You okay…"

"Yeah," Jack quickly and angrily replied. He got up, with Kate following suit. "Everyone… is everyone ready to go?" Jack asked, still panting. I nodded.

"Danielle and Alex tied up Ben," I said. He nodded, and we all went back to the group together. "What happened?" I asked Jack on our way back.

"It doesn't matter what happened," He said, looking ahead. "All that matters is that we get to that radio tower, and make that call." He walked faster ahead, with Kate following. I stopped, nervous and afraid. I didn't want to say anything to Sun or Rose, because I didn't know anything, but I figured something must have happened. Something very bad. "Let's go!" Jack yelled to the group. Everyone started moving. Jack walked past me, intent on reaching the radio tower. I watched after him, wishing I knew what was going on, but deciding to move forward. I kept moving as I got caught up in the group.

* * *

"Attention others! Come in others!" I heard. It was Hurley's voice, but it wasn't coming from Hurley's mouth. It was coming from Jack's back pocket; the walkie-talkie he had taken from Ben. I moved forward to listen. "If you're listenin' to this, I want you to know that we got you bastards! And, unless the rest of you wanna be blown up, you best stay away from our beach!"

"Hurley?" Jack asked, talking into the walkie-talkie.

"Jack?"

"Where are you? What's going on?" Jack asked. I saw Rose and Sun leaning forward in suspense.

"Dude, I'm back at the beach."

"What?"

"Yeah, I went back to help Juliet and Sawyer, I… I saved them," Hurley answered. Jack stuttered a little, unable to find words.

"You're… they're okay, Juliet and…"

"Everyone's fine," Hurley answered, "Me, Sawyer, Juliet, Sayid, Jin, Bernard, we're all…"

"Wait," Jack said. I was honestly relieved enough to hear that Sawyer was okay, but we all leaned forward, wanting the confirmation that Sayid, Jin and Bernard were safe. "Bernard and Jin and Sayid, they're with you?"

"Yeah, dude, I told you, I saved 'em all," Hurley answered. Sighs of relief and happiness rang out through the crowd. I looked to Sun and Rose, and could see that they had just been hit with a tidal wave of relief. Rose was crying a little. I ran down to her and threw my arms around her.

"It's okay, Rose," I smiled. When I backed up, she looked up at me, a tear rolling down her cheek, but a smile from ear to ear. Sun was smiling, too, but less; she seemed more so relieved than happy thus far. I gave her a hug as well.

"Hey, stay where you are. We're almost up to the tower… it'll be safer there," Jack said into the walkie-talkie. There was too much noise around me thus far to hear what Hurley said back, but I was so happy. Sawyer was okay… thank God, he was okay…

"What about Charlie? Did he make it back yet?" Claire asked into the walkie. I looked up to see her reaction. I couldn't hear the walkie, but the look on her face said that he wasn't back yet. That meant Desmond was still out there, too. At least one of my guys was safe. Now all I had to do was pray for Desmond, and then maybe we could all go home…

* * *

"Jack!" I heard someone yell, excitedly. I turned back to see Naomi running up through the group. "Jack! Your friend did it! He bloody well did it!" She yelled, catching up to Jack.

"What?" Jack asked, stopping.

"The green light, it's on. The jamming's stopped," Naomi said. The phone worked… that meant that whatever Charlie and Desmond were doing down there in that station… they did it. I smiled, knowing that they'd be on their way back soon.

"Use it then," Jack said. I walked closer to see if it would work. Silence fell over the entire group as we listened intently for someone to answer the phone.

"All right," Naomi said, punching buttons on the phone. A deep, familiar voice listed numbers on the phone, followed by a voice I was all too familiar with. I looked up at Danielle and saw her release a tension in her shoulders at hearing her own recording from so long ago. "What's this?" Naomi asked.

"It's Rousseau's message. It's still blocking the signal," Jack answered, looking somewhat distressed.

"It doesn't matter," Rousseau said. "We're here." We walked over a rise, and suddenly, a tall red radio tower came into view. It had a small building at the base of it; presumably where Danielle recorded the message sixteen years ago.

We walked closer. I decided to wait outside; I didn't need to be in that building when they fiddled with the electrical equipment. I was just ready for this phone call to happen, and to get home. Jack, Kate, Rousseau, Naomi and Alex all went in to the small building. They were in there for a few brief moments, and then reemerged, Naomi holding out her phone. She looked like she was searching for a signal.

"I'm getting something!" She yelled excitedly, starting to push buttons on the phone.

"It's gonna work… it's happening, we're getting off of this island," Kate realized. I maintained my calm mood. Some part of me didn't expect this… any of this to work. Something was bound to happen.

"Jack!" Ben yelled from where Danielle had tied him to a tree. "I know you think you're saving your people, but you need to stop this. It's a mistake."

"The mistake was listening to you," Jack replied coldly, and gloating that we were indeed getting off the island.

"This'll be your last chance, Jack!" Ben yelled, sounding desperate. "I'm telling you, making that call is the beginning of the end!"

"I've got it! I've got a signal!" Naomi yelled, pushing buttons on the phone.

"Jack, please, you don't know what you're doing!" Ben yelled, as if he were arguing for his life.

"I know exactly what I'm doing," Jack said, still gloating. Suddenly, everything quieted. I looked to Naomi. She had stopped pushing buttons; she'd stopped everything. Blood spurted out of her mouth, and she fell to the ground, a knife lodged deep in her back. Behind her was a crouched man, who had just thrown the knife so accurately… John Locke. My eyes widened; I wasn't in shock that the phone call wasn't happening. I was shocked because Naomi was dead… by John's hands?

"John!" Jack screamed, furious. John reached to his side, and raised his arm, a gun clutched in his hand. I stepped back, nervous. Claire was close to me. I stood in front of her and Aaron, nervous. Why was John doing this, what was he thinking?

"Step back, Jack," John ordered.

"What did you do?" Jack yelled.

"What I had to do!" John snapped back. "Now step back." The phone, which had fallen to the ground, made a noise. It was a ring. Naomi had made the call, and it was ringing on the boat…

"Stay away from the phone," John ordered. Jack hurried after it. John fired the gun. I jumped a little, flinching. Jack was okay, and he held the phone in his hand, safe.

"What are you doing, John?" Jack asked, angry. He wasn't going to let this opportunity be threatened: not by Ben, and not by John.

"I don't… wanna shoot you," John said. He seemed serious. I stepped back towards Claire more.

"Do it, John! Shoot him!" Ben screamed. "Do what you need to do…" Danielle threw her arm against Ben's face, bloodying him up a little more.

"Please… put the phone down," John demanded, aiming the gun at Jack.

"No. You're done keeping me on this island!" Jack yelled to him. John cocked the barrel of the gun.

"I will… kill you, if I have to," John said.

"Then do it, John," Jack said, walking forward.

"Jack," Kate interjected, not wanting to push John. John stood there momentarily, staring at Jack with the gun at eye level. He abruptly lowered the gun.

"Jack… you're not supposed to do this," John said quietly.

"Minkowski," Someone said. I looked to the phone. Someone…answered? "Hello?"

Someone answered?

Jack put the phone to his ear.

"Who is this?" Jack said.

Someone answered…

"My name is Jack Shephard. Are you… are you on the boat? The freighter?" Jack asked into the phone.

Someone answered.

"Naomi," He said into the phone. "Naomi told us about your search team. About the boat."

Someone answered!

"I'm one of the survivors of Oceanic flight 815. Can you get a fix on our location?" Jack asked into the phone. He turned to all of us with a wide smiling stretching across his face.

"Someone answered," I finally said quietly aloud, still in complete disbelief. "We're getting off the island…" Sun wrapped her arms around me. I was initially too in shock to move. I finally put my arms back around her in excitement. "We're going home," I smiled, still in complete disbelief. "We're going home…"

**And that's all she wrote… for season three! Yay! So next post will be a recap of everything from Carmen's perspective in season three (remember, I post summaries at the end of every season), and then we'll move into season four! YAYEEEE!**


	66. The Beginning of The End

**Oh my gosh, we're starting season four! That means that we're half way through the series! That's exciting and sad at the same time! Still SOO much LOST to enjoy, though. Alrighty, let's start appropriately with The Beginning of the End…**

I sat on the dry grass, almost savoring the feeling of it. I guess, now that we were leaving, I could stop and smell the roses, and not have to worry so much about when I'll eat next, or if a cloud of black smoke would pounce on me when I wasn't expecting it. With that thought in mind, I looked around suspiciously.

"What are you looking for?" Sun asked me. I looked back to her and smiled, knowing I was acting silly and paranoid.

"Nothing… I was just thinking how this would be perfect timing for the monster to attack," I giggled.

"Don't say that!" Claire laughed, playing with Aaron's feet.

"Oh, right, you're superstitious," I said, rolling my eyes and picking up my water bottle.

"You better believe it," Claire smiled. "Don't jinx us." The three of us laughed, and Sun played with Aaron's feet a little, sighing.

"I can't believe I'm actually going to have my baby in a hospital," Sun said, looking up at me.

"Oh, rub it in why don't you," Claire said, playfully pushing Sun.

"Oh, no!" Sun laughed.

"Do you ladies need a hand?" Rose asked, offering her water bottle to Sun.

"No, we're just wrapping things up, thanks," Claire replied. "Yeah, you must be very proud of Bernard. I hear he's quite the hero."

"And everyone up here knows that the real hero is your man, Claire," Rose said, smiling smugly. "If Charlie didn't turn off that gizmo, we'd still be getting a busy signal on that fancy phone. So you better make sure you treat him real good when we get back." Claire looked in disbelief at Rose while I fell backwards laughing. Rose laughed and walked off. I sat back up again and smiled at her.

"Really, Claire, Charlie is the hero," I smiled. Claire smiled back.

"Well, what about Desmond? I mean, he was right there with Charlie," Claire said. My smile faded a little. "You better treat him real good." Sun and Claire laughed at her imitation of Rose, and I smiled a little, but more so to mask the feeling of abandonment I had when I heard Desmond's name. I knew he was in love with Penny… but knowing that he wasn't with me because he wanted to be with someone else hurt all the same.

* * *

We all gathered together at the base of the hill, preparing to leave to return to the beach.

"Alright, listen up," Jack said, approaching us. Claire and I turned to face him. "We need all of you to head back down to the beach. When these people show up, we wanna make sure that we're really easy for them to find, okay?"

"You look worried, Jack," Claire said anxiously, covering Aaron's face.

"The only thing I'm worried about is missing our ride home," Jack said, turning away. I had heard a rumor from Kate that Naomi's body went missing, and she, Jack, Rousseau and Ben were staying behind to find her, and would catch up when they could. Sun, Alex, Karl and Rose came forward to meet us, and we all walked together towards our rescuers.

"What do you think will happen to us?" Alex asked me, indicating herself and Karl. I shrugged.

"I don't know… I mean, I'm sure you guys look like someone that was on the plane. Maybe we can just say that you were always on board," I said. "Don't worry… Juliet and Desmond will have the same problem. You aren't alone." She nodded, kind of worried, but knowing that she was safe with us.

* * *

Night had fallen over the jungle, covering the trees with a blanket of darkness, and throwing glistening light down on a few dewy leaves. I heard voices ahead, and could make out a few lights.

"Someone's up there," I said to Sun. We moved ahead slowly, and I could hear the people silence. We came through the brush to see a line of people… our people. Hurley, Sawyer, Sayid, Bernard, Juliet, Jin… Desmond. People began running forward to greet our heroes. I ran to Sawyer first.

"Hey," He said.

"You did it! You saved them," I smiled, throwing my arms around his neck in an embrace. He hugged me around my waist, but didn't seem happy. I backed away from him, my smile fading ever so slightly. He wasn't even smiling. "What's wrong?" I asked. He looked over my shoulder. I turned around to see Claire, looking around.

"I'll tell her," I heard someone say. It was Hurley. He was moving away from Desmond towards Claire. Suddenly, something clicked.

"Wha… where's Charlie?" I asked, looking about panicked from side to side. He wasn't here. I looked to Sawyer, who had a distressed expression. I hurried over to Desmond. "Desmond…"

"Carmen…"

"Where's Charlie?" I asked, panicked. He struggled to find words, but said nothing. I turned and my frantic eyes found Hurley, speaking to Claire. Silence had fallen over the group. I heard Hurley squeak.

"Dead…" I heard. Claire's face turned tragic. I felt tears claw up my throat and slide into my eyes. I turned back to Desmond, who held me around my wrist.

"He…" I tried to ask if he was really dead, but nothing came. Desmond's lips tightened, unable to say yes. I closed my eyes as I tear slid down my cheek. I shook my head. I was upset, but that wasn't even the worst of it.

"I didn't…" Desmond started but I backed away.

"Did you know?" I asked, praying with all my heart that he didn't know he'd die. "Did you?" I asked desperately when I had no reply. Desmond looked down, distressed. "Oh God… you did…you knew, he… you knew he would…"

"Carmen, please," Desmond started, but I pulled away from his grip.

"No," I said through my choked tears. "I can't believe you," I muttered. I hurried to Claire.

"He was tryin' to help us," Hurley cried. Claire's cheeks were soaked with tears.

"Claire," I said, holding her close to me, Aaron snuggled between us. She cried into my shoulder, and I cried into hers. "I just… I'm sorry, Claire, I'm so sorry," I cried. I pulled away from her, and put my hand comfortingly on Hurley's arm, but just then I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me, and I saw a fist flying through the air. I turned quickly to see Jack punch John to the ground. I pushed Claire and Hurley back behind me, wanting them further from the fight. John reached to his belt, and I could see the revolver tucked into the front of his pants. Jack reached down as well, and the two fumbled over it for a moment, until Jack got a hold of it and pointed it down at John, ready to fire.

"Jack," Juliet muttered, voicing what we were all thinking. Don't shoot him now… not now…

"You're not gonna shoot me Jack," John said from his position in the leaves on the ground. "Anymore than I was gonna shoot…" A click sounded from the gun. Jack had tried to fire… "It's not loaded?" John asked, amazed at the fact that he still had his life. Jack thrust his fist downward, knocking John completely back down onto the ground. Sayid and Sawyer ran forward, pulling Jack away from John.

"Come on," Sawyer said, pulling Jack back.

"Let go of me!" Jack cried out, getting out of Sayid and Sawyer's grips. "Do you know what he did…"

"Yes, I know what he did!" Sayid screamed.

"All I did… all I have ever done has been in the best interest of all of us," John said, standing up.

"Are you insane?" Jack asked. I didn't know what to believe. John killed Naomi, but he hadn't done much before that was so drastic or wrong.

"I know, I… I have a lot of explaining to do, but I never did anything to hurt any of you," John said. "I even risked my life to tell you that there was a traitor in your midst."

"She helped us, John," Jack said, indicating Juliet. "All you ever did was blow up every chance we ever had of getting off this island. You killed Naomi!"

"Well, technically," Ben said, "he didn't kill her yet."

"Yes, he did," Kate said, coming out of the jungle. "She just died. She didn't give you up, John. She covered for us… and she fixed this," She said, handing Jack the phone. "They're on their way."

"She didn't cover for anyone. She wants her people to come here… and trust me, when they do, we had better be far away from here. I'm going to the barracks. The 'others' abandoned them… it's the only place on the island with any form of security right now. It'll have to do until I can think of something else. Until then, if you want to live, you need to come with me," John said, completely serious.

"No one's going anywhere with you, John… because they're not crazy," Jack started, but he stopped when he was interrupted.

"It's not crazy!" Hurley yelled. I turned to my left to see him, tears brimming his eyes. "What about Charlie?" Everyone was silent. I shook my head. "Charlie went down there to that place so we could all be rescued. And whatever he did down there? It worked. But then something must've happened… he must've heard something before he…" Hurley choked back tears, trying to say what he needed to. "I don't know why, but he changed his mind. Because the last thing he did was to warn us that the people on that boat are not who they said they were! So I'm not listening to you!" He yelled at Jack. "I'm listening to my friend… I'm listening to Charlie…" He moved forward and stood silently next to John. No one said a word. I didn't know what to think. All I knew was that Charlie died warning us to not listen to these people on the boat...

"Any one else?" John asked. "There isn't much time." I looked around… Sayid stood static, Juliet at his side. Kate looked to Jack, who stayed pitted where he was. Karl and Alex looked to Danielle worriedly, who looked to John. Claire looked to Hurley, obviously about to leave. Sun and Jin stayed close, near Jack. Sawyer looked down at his feet, mulling over the choice. People started to move, making their decisions. Claire was the first to move forward, standing by Hurley. Danielle pulled Ben with her, with Alex and Karl close behind.

"Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John," Ben said.

"He's all yours," Jack said, happy to be rid of him. I stepped forward.

"Wait," Desmond said, grabbing my arm. I looked back at him in disbelief.

"You were there," I said, tears falling from my eyes. "You saw him… you saw Charlie… and you still trust these people?" I asked. Desmond stared ahead, wanting me to stay. I jerked my arm out of his grasp and turned, walking briskly to Hurley's side. I looked at our split group… would I ever see Kate or Jack again? I looked to Sawyer, who had a look of guilt on his face. I suppose he was guilty because he wasn't coming. I looked away, not wanting him to feel bad. There was suddenly a hand on my shoulder. I looked ahead to see Sawyer, looking down at me. I put my hand on his, glad he was coming with us. He walked ahead and stood by John. A clap of thunder sounded over the tree canopy, and rain came pouring down through the trees above. I didn't move. The cold of the rain clung to my arms, but I couldn't believe what was happening. My friends… my family… we were broken. Split in two… I could feel a pain in my heart, as I felt I was refusing to say goodbye to people I may never see again.

"You know where to find us, when you change your mind," John said. He turned and headed away. The rest of the group followed, but I couldn't move. I stayed planted for a moment, staring at Desmond. He stared back at me. I couldn't tell if he was crying, or if the rain was trying to comfort me, but I knew he wasn't changing his mind for me. He was still hoping Penny was coming for him. I grabbed Hurley's hand, who still stood next to me, and looked into his eyes.

"Let's go," I said. We slowly turned away and followed the group into the misty darkness. I felt alone in the large group of people… betrayed, though I stood with my friends. I didn't turn back, even though my heart panged for me to steal one last glance at Jack, Kate, Rose, Bernard, Jin, Sun, Sayid… Desmond… I loved them all… but I needed to survive.

**Heartbreaking split. Not gonna lie, I cried watching this scene when I saw it tonight. Thinking, 'this is her family. They've been together for so long… and now they're leaving each other.' At least she still has Sawyer, right? And Hurley, and Claire. There are good things! Well, I'll write again soon! Happy April Fools Day!**


	67. Confirmed Dead

**Alrighty, so we're past the initial split, which is always the hardest part. Also, I'm sorry I'm not posting as much- it's exam time. But after a week, it'll be summer break, and I'll be writing MUCH more often. Alright, here's Confirmed Dead!**

All of us had been standing under the same tree for a good twenty minutes, hugging ourselves, trying to keep the biting cold of the rain from getting to our already low spirits. All of us were huddling together; all except Locke, that is. Our fearless leader was standing in the middle of a field, his face pointed to the sky, basking in the pouring rain.

"Dude, he's gonna, like… get pneumonia," Hurley said.

"Just leave 'im, he's fine," Sawyer said.

"Dude… we don't have a doctor travelling with us anymore, so I really don't want him to get sick, or… get struck by lightning, or… get eaten by a monster, or… whatever, man!" Hurley said. With that, he trotted out from under the tree towards Locke, pulling Vincent along with him. Sawyer looked around himself at the others with us. Danielle seemed perfectly content, holding Ben's leash in her hands complacently. Alex and Karl shifted uncomfortably behind Claire, who held Aaron close to her chest. Suddenly, the rain stopped.

"Let's go," John yelled back to us. We slowly moved forward, still kind of hesitant in our decision to follow Locke, but following nonetheless. Sawyer and I stood at the front of the group, just behind John.

"Why you going east?" Sawyer stopped and asked as John moved forward. I stopped beside him. I wasn't really sure where we were, where we were going, or even what direction I was looking in, but I had faith in Sawyer's good judgment. If he thought something was messed up, then in all likelihood, something was messed up. "I thought you said the barracks were due south."

"Because, James, we have to make a little detour first," John said. Sawyer and I caught up to him, and walked along either side of him.

"Detour to what?" Sawyer asked, aggravated.

"There's a cabin I have to go to," John said. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. A cabin?

"What cabin?" I asked.

"I thought the cabin was back that way," Hurley stopped, pointing back behind him. With that comment, Sawyer and I stopped, as well as the rest of the group.

"What'd you say, Hugo?" John asked. Hurley looked nervously between all of us.

"Umm… I, uh, thought you were talking about the airplane cabin," He said. I didn't believe him, but that didn't matter… I didn't even know what cabin we were talking about.

"Why are we wasting our time going to some shack, anyway?" Sawyer asked, voicing my thoughts.

"Because we're supposed to," John answered.

"Right… like you were supposed to throw a knife into that Naomi-chick's back?" Sawyer asked. With that, John quieted a little, as did the rest of the group.

"Uh huh," John nodded, and he started off again. Sawyer and I looked to each other hesitantly.

"You mind tellin' us who you're getting' your orders from, Colonel Kurtz?" Sawyer asked John. He stopped and turned around to face us.

"I got them from Walt," John answered. He smiled, then kept moving forward. Me and Sawyer hurried to catch him and we walked alongside him.

"When?" I asked.

"A few days ago… I saw Walt," John said.

"What the hell do you mean 'you saw Walt?' In a dream?" Sawyer asked abruptly.

"No dream, it was Walt," John answered. "Only… taller."

"Taller?" Sawyer asked, confused and frustrated. "What like a giant?" John stopped and looked back at him as if he were trying to explain something to a two year old. "Okay! What exactly did Walt tell you?" Sawyer asked, frustrated, but trying to get over it for the sake of figuring out what was going on.

"He said I had work to do. That I had to stop this woman, Naomi, from bringing the rest of her people here," John said.

"What? You didn't ask any follow-up questions?" Sawyer asked.

"Ben had shot me and left me for dead. Walt saved my life, so I pretty much took him at his word," John said. We continued moving forward, but I was stuck in disbelief.

"He shot you?" Sawyer asked, gesturing back at Ben with his gun. "Yet here you are, fit as a fiddle, tromping through the jungle…" John abruptly stopped and lifted his shirt, revealing a wound in his side. A hole that went straight through to the other side.

"The bullet went in one side, came out the other," John said. He looked back at Ben, as if that proved that there was divine intervention. "I'd probably be dead if I still had a kidney there. Anything else?" John asked. I looked to Sawyer, who seemed at a loss for words. John nodded and continued forward, and I watched after him for a moment before continuing on with him.

* * *

"Who's Colonel Kurtz?" I asked as we walked through the jungle.

"What?" Sawyer asked me back.

"You… you called John 'Colonel Kurtz.' Who's that?" I asked. He shook his head as we walked on.

"You never read Heart of Darkness?" He asked me. I shook my head. I'd never even heard of it. "Well… it's a character in the book."

"You okay?" I asked him after a pause. He nodded.

"I'm fine, San…"

"Sawyer," I insisted.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just… a little shook up is all," He said. I nodded. Our group had split up, and John seemed crazy… nothing was simple. We came across a brook, and stopped to take a break and get water. I knelt beside Sawyer and refilled my water bottle. "How you doin?" Sawyer asked me after a moment. I looked up at him, then back at the water, and nodded.

"Fine, I guess," I said. I shrugged. "About the same as you." He nodded. I stared into the brook, twisting the cap back on my water bottle.

"We'll be okay," He said to me. I smiled a little and nodded. I heard Sawyer sigh, and I looked up. Sawyer got up and moved towards Karl and Alex, who were near Ben. Karl looked pissed as Ben was snidely talking to him. Sawyer shooed Karl and Alex off, and took Ben's leash and started walking him away. I put the water bottle in my bag, but jumped when I heard an impact between bodies. I looked over to see Sawyer pummeling Ben.

"James!" John said, jumping up. I got up, leaving my pack by the brook, and ran to Sawyer.

"Sawyer!" I yelled as I approached him.

"Don't…"

"Don't what?" Sawyer yelled at John in reply. He punched Ben to the ground, then returned his focus to the group. "Anyone wanna tell me why we're keepin this guy alive?" He angrily asked.

"We're keeping him alive because he's been on this island a lot longer than any of us. Because he has information we need. And because apart from his mouth, he's completely harmless," John said.

"His mouth put that hole in your gut?" Sawyer asked. I looked to John, skeptical of why we needed Ben.

"Okay, James, let's… let's execute him right here, right now! In front of his daughter!" John said sarcastically. With that, I looked to Alex, who looked anxious, but stood silently next to Danielle. Sawyer looked around him, and back at John.

"It's only a matter of time before he gets us, Johnny. And I'll bet he's already figured out how he's gonna do it. So you walk him," Sawyer said, throwing the leash at him. Sawyer turned angrily, and looked to me, commanding me with his eyes to follow. I looked back at John and Ben, but then followed Sawyer, got my pack, and we all set out again.

* * *

Sawyer walked briskly towards the front of the group. I kept pace with him, but I was tired.

"What did he say?" I asked quietly.

"What?" Sawyer asked snidely.

"Ben… what did he say to you that made you so angry?" I asked.

"Nothing," Sawyer said quickly.

"Sawyer, will you just talk to me?" I asked quietly. Suddenly, I heard a splash. I looked to my left to see a pond, with ripples spreading across it. A moment later, a helmet emerged, gasping for air. The person took of their helmet, and I could see a woman's face, and long red hair. She must have been from the helicopter that Jack phoned.

"Hi," She said awkwardly.

"Hi yourself," John replied. We all stood silently for a moment. Finally John moved. "James, help me get her out of the water," John said. Sawyer slowly moved forward. The girl swam forward and met them at the bank of the pond and Sawyer and John helped her out of the water. They walked with her up to the rest of the group from the bank, and the woman sat down on a rock, catching her breath. Sawyer sat down on a different rock, and John knelt down nearby the woman. After the woman caught her breath, and she looked around at all of us.

"I can't believe you're alive," She said. "How many of you are there?" The group remained silent, not knowing what to do. John didn't say anything; were we not supposed to say anything either?

"Why do you wanna know?" Hurley asked.

"Why wouldn't I want to know?" The woman replied. They were supposedly here to rescue us… After a moment, Hurley answered her.

"Forty-eight of us survived the crash," He said, "but that's not counting the tail section. They're pretty much all dead though…"

"Hugo," John warningly yelled. I was confused. If John didn't want us to talk to her, then why were just sitting here, staring at each other? What did he want us to do?

"So you've all been living here this entire time?" She asked us all. No one really answered her. "Is that your baby?" She asked Claire. Claire nodded, holding Aaron's hand.

"Yeah. This is Aaron," She replied.

"Did you have him here on the island?" She asked. Claire nodded yes through tight lips. "That's amazing! Well… I've got about a million more questions I want to ask you, but… they can wait until we get you back to the freighter. We've all got one of these transponders, so if we just sit tight, they're gonna be here soon, 'kay?" She said, indicated a flashing beacon-type tool on her vest, which she had taken off and put to the side.

"This team of yours," John started, "how many of you are there?"

"Four including me," She answered. She seemed to hesitate.

"And what happened to your helicopter?" John asked.

"I don't know, the pilot was trying to put it down," She replied.

"Where?"

"I don't know," She laughed. "I had to jump. Chaos. I'm lucky to be alive," She said, looking around at all of us.

"Get up. You're coming with us," John said, standing.

"What?" The woman said, not moving. "Wha… we need to stay where we are so that they can find us!"

"See, there's your problem. We don't wanna be found," John said. The woman stared back at him, the insecurity showing on her face. "So get up." The woman stood, but stood still.

"We need to stay here," She said adamantly. John put his pack down, and grabbed her vest that was lying on the ground. "Hey! What are you doing…"

"Hugo, bring me Vincent," John said. Hurley brought Vincent over. John took out his knife and cut the woman's vest to remove the transponder. He tied it to the rope around Vincent's neck, removed an apple from his pack, and threw it into the woods, Vincent scurrying off after it.

"What are you…"

"Let's go," John said, looking at the woman with threatening eyes. He moved forward, and we all followed, including the woman. I stuck near Sawyer, and we both kept keen eyes on the woman.

* * *

We had been walking through the jungle for quite a while in an awkward, tense silence until a bright red flare shot up into the sky.

"That's them," The woman said, moving forward towards the direction the flare was shot. "That's somebody from my team!" She shouted back. We'd all stopped, uncomfortable and nervous. She looked back at us and realized that we didn't share her excitement. "What's wrong with you people? We're here because of you! I just almost died jumping out of a helicopter because you called us for help!"

"Maybe we should go see who launched that flare," Hurley said.

"Yeah, I mean, they could be hurt, John…" Claire said.

"She's lying! Whatever they came for, it isn't us," John said.

"John, the person that launched that flare isn't far off…" I said, trying to get him to calm down. Whoever launched the flare could be in need of help.

"We keep moving forward as planned!" John said, almost ordering me.

"Sure. Who are we to argue with taller-ghost-Walt?" Sawyer said, defending me, Claire and Hurley.

"You know what? You people do whatever you want," The woman said, backing away from John.

"I want you to come with us!" John ordered, moving forward.

"I'm not asking for permission!" She yelled. "And if you think you're gonna bloody stop me from getting to my team…"

Suddenly, two gun shots rang out through the jungle air. I threw my hands above my head instinctively, and saw the woman fall to the ground. I looked to see where the sounds came from and saw Ben, holding a gun at arms-length, looking smug and proud. Sawyer ran at him, yelling in fury. He tackled Ben to the ground and started punching him.

"What'd you do?" Sawyer yelled as I ran to the woman's body. I knelt down next to John, and put my hand down on her neck, feeling for her pulse. I could feel her heart racing… but she was unconscious. She suddenly gasped for air. I leaned back a little.

"What…" I muttered.

"Nest…" I heard her whisper between gasps for air.

"What?" I asked.

"Vit!" She tried to say something again. I tried to make out what she was saying.

"Is she… vest?" I mumbled. John reached forward and unzipped her jacket, revealing a bullet proof vest with two bullets shining from its surface. I looked to John in a panicked worry, and then to Ben, who Sawyer had stopped beating to realize the woman was still alive. John looked angry. He got up and went to Sawyer. I helped the woman stand, and I took her to a rock to sit down as she caught her breath. I helped her take her bullet proof vest off, and she breathed deeply. Sawyer grabbed Ben's gun from the ground, and grabbed Ben by the neck, lifting him to his feet and pushing him against a tree.

"James! Listen to me, please!" Ben tried to yell out quickly, panicked. Sawyer lifted the gun, aiming it at Ben's face. John sat down across from the woman.

"You okay?" He asked her.

"I feel like I've got a cinderblock on my chest, but I'll survive," She said.

"I'm sorry you got shot… I didn't intend for that to happen," John said.

"Really? 'Cause it seemed like you were about to shoot me yourself," She said angrily.

"What good would you be to me dead?" John asked, standing up.

"Oh, I feel much more comfortable now. Thanks," She said bitterly. I followed John with my eyes as he approached Sawyer and Ben. I looked down at the woman.

"Physically, are you alright?" I asked. She looked up at me, swallowed a sarcastic remark and nodded. I walked over to John and Sawyer.

"James, I stand corrected," John said.

"You want me to do it?" Sawyer asked John as I arrived behind him.

"No, it's my mess. I'll clean up," John said, holding his hand out to take the gun from Sawyer. Sawyer reached his gun down to John, who took it quickly and put it in Ben's face.

"No! Wait!" Alex yelled, moving forward.

"Danielle, you should escort Alex away," John said.

"No, no!" Alex yelled.

"Come on," Danielle said, comforting her.

"Let's go," Karl said, helping hold Alex away.

"Anyone who doesn't wanna see this should leave now," John said.

"John, we should talk about this!" Claire yelled.

"Claire, what if one of those bullets had hit you and the baby," John said. Claire quieted.

"Come on, San Diego," Sawyer said, grabbing my hand. Everyone started moving away, Sawyer and I trailing behind the group. This didn't feel right: something inside of me told me to stop this, to save Ben. But the larger part of me felt like he was finally getting what he deserved. So I bit my tongue and let Sawyer pull me a little.

"John, listen," Ben said, "I have information that you need. I have answers."

"What is the monster?" John asked after a pause. I stopped, as did Sawyer, and we looked at Ben, waiting for an answer.

"What?" Ben asked.

"The black smoke, the monster… what is it?" John angrily asked.

"I don't know," Ben said. With that, John backed up, cocked the gun, and prepared to shoot.

"Let's go," Sawyer said, pulling me closer to him.

"Goodbye, Benjamin," John said through gritted teeth. I expected to hear a gunshot ring past my ears any second. I stayed close to Sawyer, his arm now wrapped around me, so that his hand held my right shoulder and my head was nuzzled close to his chest as we walked away.

"Her name is Charlotte Lewis!" Ben yelled out. I turned around to see the red headed woman turned around to face him. "Charlotte Staples Lewis! Born July second, 1979, Essex, England, parents David and Jeanette, eldest of three, all girls! She was raised in Browns Grove, did her undergraduate studies in Kent, took her PhD in cultural anthropology at Oxford. She's here with two other team members and a pilot. Their names Daniel Faraday, Miles Straum, Frank Lapidus." I couldn't see Charlotte's face, but her body language said it all: everything Ben had said was right. I stared at Ben, confused. "Your instinct was right, John: these people are a threat. If you shoot me, you'll never know how great a threat they were. Because I know what they're doing here. I know what they want," Ben said.

"What do they want?" Sawyer asked.

"Me, James, they want me," Ben answered. I looked to Charlotte to confirm it, and she looked uncomfortably at the ground, knowing that she was exposed.

"How do you know all this?" John asked.

"Because I have a man on their boat," Ben answered.

**BUM-BUM-BUUUUUUUUM! Haha… so this was a good exam study-break for me… hope you enjoy it! My summer's about to start, so hopefully I'll be writing a lot more!**


	68. The Economist

**Alright, so I can't stand studying anymore right now! Here's The Economist!**

We trudged through the jungle, tired and anxious to get to the barracks. After Ben told us he had a spy on their boat, we didn't really know what to do. We asked him who it was, but he wouldn't answer us. So, we ended up putting him back on his leash and pulling him along with us again. We were all rather quiet most of the journey, just wanting to call some place home again.

"Ready to give us a name, Gizmo?" Sawyer asked, holding the strap of his rifle over his shoulder.

"He's not gonna tell you who his spy is on the boat, James," John said as he led us.

"Yeah, why not?" Sawyer asked.

"Because that's the only thing keeping him alive," John replied.

"Well, here's an idea: why don't we take a gun, point it to his big toe, send that little piggy to market?" Sawyer asked. I laughed a little under my breath. Sawyer heard, and smiled down at me. "And if he still doesn't wanna tell us, we move on to the roast beef?" I smiled up at Sawyer in a way that meant we couldn't actually do that. "Well, why don't we do that?"

"Because then we have to carry him," John said, turning around to look at Sawyer. He obviously hadn't thought about that. I shook my head. I expected us to start moving again, but John just looked around. He knelt down and touched the dirt.

"Why are we stopping?" I asked.

"Hey John, how much further is it? I need to feed Aaron," Claire said as Aaron began to cry.

"It should be here… the cabin," John said. I looked around, but there was no cabin in sight.

"Maybe we got turned around," Hurley said. "It could be anywhere."

"Are we lost?" I asked, trying to hide the frustration in my voice.

"No, it was here!" John said, angrily.

"Well, what's in this cabin that's so important anyway?" Sawyer asked.

"John's looking for somebody to tell him what to do next," Ben said. I turned around to look at him, a smug smile on his face. John turned around.

"I guess I was mistaken, it doesn't… it doesn't matter. Plan's the same, we keep moving. The barracks aren't far," John said, walking onwards.

"If her team is with Jack's group, they know we're going to the barracks," Danielle said, indicating Charlotte.

"Yeah, and red here was wearing a vest, which means her posse's gonna come expecting themselves a gun fight," Sawyer said.

"If all they want is her, then maybe we should just let her go," Hurley said. We all stood, pitted against Locke. "I mean, I thought we were just gonna go hide. Why do we need to take prisoners?"

"We're keepin' her because she's gonna be valuable," John said.

"How's she gonna be valuable?" Hurley asked.

"He means as a hostage, love," Charlotte explained.

"Uh uh," Hurley said, cautious, "No, that's not what I signed up for."

"What did you sign up for, Hugo?" John asked.

"Look, I'm just sayin', I think we, if we let her go, they'll look at it as a sign of good faith…"

"They'll look at it as an act of foolishness, which is what it would be," John said.

"I'm just tryin' to come up with some kind of compromise…" Hurley yelled.

"We're beyond compromise!" John yelled, interrupting Hurley's sentence. We all stood quiet a moment. "Right now Hugo, I'm making the decisions. Is that going to be a problem for you?" Hurley looked around nervously. I hurried over to him.

"John, this isn't about Hurley not trusting you," I said, attempting to cool the hostility in the circle. "This is about what's safe for all of us. Danielle and Sawyer are right. They're going to come to the barracks, at the least to get Charlotte. What are we gonna do about that?" I asked. John looked between me and Hurley. He shook his head after a moment and looked away.

"Johnny-boy," Sawyer said, "I got an idea." Sawyer came over to the three of us. "The calvary will probably be on their way to the barracks soon, comin' for red. So if they wanna get us at the barracks, let's lead 'em to the barracks. We'll tie someone up in one of the houses, someone they'll trust. Then they point them to Ben's house, where we go in and take 'em." I nodded. The plan sounded solid.

"Who's bait?" John asked after a moment, mulling over the plan.

"I'll do it," I volunteered. I knew that if people were coming from our camp, it would probably be Jack and Kate, maybe Juliet. And I knew they'd trust me.

"No," Sawyer said. "You're one of the few people that can handle a gun. All we got is you, Frenchy, me, and the philosopher." I nodded, recognizing a valid point.

"Then who?" I asked. Sawyer turned behind him, and looked insecurely at Hurley.

"Hurley," Sawyer said.

"What? Me? No way," Hurley replied quickly.

"Why not? They trust you, besides, you doubt Locke anyway. You can act the part," Sawyer said. Hurley looked nervously to John.

"Come on, Hurley," I said. "This is the safest way to do it. Besides, it'll probably be Jack and Kate. You won't be in any danger." After a brief pause, Hurley took a deep breath.

"Okay, I'll do it."

* * *

We were all set up for the attack. John and Sawyer had tied Hurley up in the closet in one of the houses, and he was going to direct whoever found him towards Ben's house. Everyone else was in the recreation hall, where Ben was tied up. We all hid in different places, waiting for someone to show up. I had Karl's gun, and was hiding in a house facing the entrance to the house Hurley was in. That way, I could see when they went in, and when they came out. Danielle was at another window in the same house that was pointed towards Ben's house, so that we could see when the coast was clear. After an hour or so, I finally saw people.

"They're here," I whispered to Danielle. Sayid and Kate were running towards the house Hurley was in, with an Asian man following them. They went in the house, and stayed inside a while. They emerged after a while with Hurley, and were all headed towards Ben's house. "Let me know when they're inside." After a moment, Danielle came to the door.

"Let's go," She said. We went out quickly, hurrying to the front door. John and Sawyer met us at the front door.

"I got Kate," Sawyer whispered. Figures…

"Carmen and Danielle, get the freighter team member," John whispered. Sawyer went in first, and hurried down the hall. I followed behind, letting my feet fall quietly on the hardwood. I held my gun out in front of me, pulling it to my chest when I reached the first bedroom, where I heard footsteps and rustling sheets. I crept in slowly as Danielle watched the door, and saw the Asian man hunched over an open drawer, searching through it. I moved closer slowly, until I was right behind him. I put one hand on his wrist and leaned forward, holding the gun against his neck.

"Don't say a word," I whispered, my lips near his ear. He slowly leaned back, and I turned him around to face me, holding the gun at his face.

"Whoa…"

"Shut up," I whispered. He looked to the door to see Danielle, then looked back to me. I looked to the door, waiting for a signal that the situation was under control.

"This is kinda hot," The man said. I angrily pushed him against the wall behind him and held the gun at his neck.

"Shut. Up," I said. He smiled a little.

"Sayid!" I heard Kate yell. I pushed my forearm against the man's chest and held him there. He hadn't tried to move, but I didn't want him to even think about it.

"All clear," John said after a moment.

"Move," I said, pushing the man towards Danielle. We led him out of the room at gun point. John held Sayid at gun point as well. Hurley came out from down the hall.

"Good job, Hugo," Locke said, not moving his eyes from Sayid.

"Sorry, dude," Hurley said to Sayid.

"What do you want us to do with him?" I asked John, motioning to the Asian guy.

"I'll take care of him," John said.

"I think she could take care of me," the Asian guy said.

"Quiet," Danielle said, pushing him in the back with her rifle.

"Go tell the others to go to different houses. Leave Ben there, though," John said. I nodded and hurried off to the rec house and told the others. We all went back to the house we'd left Hurley in. Claire and I sat in the living room of Ben's house with Hurley, Alex, Karl and a few other people. After waiting for an hour with limited conversation, the front door suddenly swung open. Locke came in. I could hear Sawyer outside, talking with someone. He almost sounded like he was arguing. I tried to peer out the open door, but John closed it before I could see who he was talking to.

"Alright, here's the plan," John said. "There are houses all around here. Everyone should find roommates, and get houses. Simple as that. I'm going to live in Ben's old house, and keep a close eye on him. Everyone else… snap to it," John said, walking back out of the house. I looked around at my choices. I was sure Danielle, Alex and Karl would live together, and Hurley would want to live with another guy in all likelihood. Obviously, my best option was Claire and Aaron. I quickly approached her, wanting to reach her first.

"You got a roomie yet?" I asked. She smiled and shrugged.

"Just Aaron," She said. I smiled. "I'm kinda worried about where he's gonna sleep, though. I mean, I don't have a cradle…"

"Oh, Claire, there's a crib in Harper's old house," Alex said. "She and Goodwin were planning on having kids someday, but…" Goodwin… I suddenly remembered the rotting corpse Jin and I found when the raft exploded, and we met the people from the tail section. "That never really worked out." Claire nodded, getting the gist of what Alex meant.

"Where's Harper's house?" I asked.

"I'll take you," Alex said. She smiled at Karl, and then led us to the door. She opened it, revealing Kate just on the other side.

"Hey," She said after a brief pause. Sawyer was coming up the porch stairs behind her, and he had an annoyed expression on his face. "Um, Carmen, you have a roommate yet?" Kate asked me slowly. I looked to Claire, saying nothing. Kate looked down at her feet, looking almost embarrassed, like the kid who gets picked last for dodge-ball teams. I looked to Claire, asking her with my eyes if it would be okay for Kate to live with us. Claire smiled a little and quickly stuttered out to Kate.

"But I'm sure that we can find space for one more." Kate looked up and smiled.

"We're going over there now, if you want to come," I said. She nodded. Alex moved past her and Kate and Claire followed, Claire cradling Aaron in her arms. I paused and looked to Sawyer, who looked somewhat frustrated.

"Go on," He said, walking past me into the house. I watched after him for a moment, then followed Kate and Claire.

* * *

Claire had a small room with a twin sized bed and a cradle in it. I was in the main bedroom, which had a queen sized bed, a big mirror and a dresser. Kate was in another room that was probably meant as a private study at one time, but was transformed into a room for alone time; maybe Harper and Goodwin had some marital problems before he volunteered to be a kidnapper. It had a sofa with a trundle bed and a TV, with some very old movies and a VCR. That night, I made a chore of cleaning out the refrigerator, which had some very old leftovers in it. I didn't get a chance to talk to Sawyer that night, and Kate stayed to herself in her room. I helped Claire get Aaron to bed, and I wished them goodnight, and for the first time in a very long time, I slept in a real bed, with real sheets and pillows. Never had anything felt so crisp against my skin as those sheets did. Yet I didn't sleep soundly. I guess after months of sleeping on a rocky cave floor or on an airplane seat cushion, real beds seem foreign and unwelcome...

**So my summer has officially begun (I obviously started and ended this chapter at different times)! I'll be writing much more often, probably two or three episodes a week. Keep reading, and just FYI, if I see someone review, then I'm always inspired to write another chapter!**


	69. Eggtown

**Thanks for reviewing everyone! It really means a lot to hear feedback, especially about things like what you like, or what you expect to happen, or would like to happen; it lets me know how I'm doing when I'm plotting out where Carmen goes in the future, and what happens to her. Alright, here's Eggtown!**

I slowly opened my eyes to see the sun streaming in from the drapes at my window. It took me a second to remember where I was. I looked down at the pillow beneath my head, and dropped back down onto it. For such a comfortable bed, it was so weird.

I got up and kicked my legs off the bed. I pulled some clean shorts and a shirt out of my backpack and left the bedroom. I walked into the kitchen to see Claire standing by a counter.

"Morning," I greeted. She turned around.

"Morning," She smiled. I rubbed my eyes. "Coffee?" She asked, holding up a mug in her hand. I laughed under my breath.

"Coffee?" I repeated, moving further into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I found some in the cupboard. Want some?" She asked again.

"Uh, no… never really liked the taste," I said. She nodded.

"Hey," I heard someone say behind me. Kate had woken up and was standing behind me.

"Hey," I said.

"How'd you sleep?" Claire asked.

"Um… alright, I guess," Kate said. "Is that coffee?" She asked.

"Yeah! Want a cup?" Claire asked.

"That'd be amazing," Kate smiled. She moved forward past me to where Claire and the caffeine was. I heard Aaron crying in the back room.

"Oh, Kate, would you mind getting him?" Claire asked.

"Uh…"

"Oh, don't worry. I got him, Claire," I said, interrupting Kate. I moved to Claire's bedroom and slowly picked up Aaron. "Hey," I said softly. "How are you doing?" I asked, bouncing him in my arms. I grabbed an airplane blanket from the crib and wrapped it around him a little, walking out into the main room with him. Kate and Claire were moving towards the front door.

"Hey! Come out and sit on the porch with us," Claire invited. I smiled and followed them outside, sitting down on one of the patio chairs. Kate walked forward, off of the porch and on to the grass.

"Wow, it feels great out here," I said. The sweltering heat and humidity on the island felt a lot nicer when you got to enjoy it with the alternative of air conditioning and a shaded porch. Claire curled her legs up onto her chair.

"You don't mind holding him, do you?" Claire asked, holding her coffee cup.

"No, it's fine. Besides, you've got a drink," I said. She smiled.

"Thanks," She said, sipping her drink. Kate looked around at the houses.

"What are you looking for?" I asked Kate. I suspected she was looking for Sawyer, but she didn't answer.

"Can I see 'im a sec?" Claire asked me. She put her coffee mug down on the table next to her, and I handed her Aaron. "Good morning, sweet heart," She started in baby talk. I smiled. It made me think of Morgan, but I wasn't sad; just nostalgic. Suddenly, John stormed out of his house, slamming the door behind him. He walked off down a path diverting away from our house.

"What's that all about?" Kate asked, turning back to the porch to sit down.

"Who knows? It's Locke," Claire said. I followed Locke with my eyes until he disappeared from sight, then looked back to Claire.

"Mornin, ladies," Sawyer said, swaggering up to our porch. I smiled in a chuckle.

"Morning, Sawyer," I said, my mood lightening even more by seeing him.

"Good morning," Claire said, almost simultaneously with me.

"Morning," Kate said, belatedly. She curled one of her legs under the other on her chair. I had wanted to talk to Sawyer about what happened yesterday, but we hadn't been alone yet. And I wasn't going to ask him here, in front of Kate.

"Coffee smells good," Sawyer said.

"Well… why don't I go make you a cup?" Claire said, standing. I looked between Kate and Sawyer. Something was about to go down. "Carmen, could you help me with Aaron?" Claire asked. I hesitated: I was so curious. But it wasn't my business unless Sawyer wanted to tell me.

"Yeah," I said quickly. She handed Aaron to me, then picked up her coffee mug, and I followed her inside. Claire brushed her fingers over Kate's arm understandingly as we went inside. Once we were inside, Claire just sat on the counter by the coffee maker. "You gonna make that cup of coffee?" I asked.

"He's just gonna leave once they've talked," Claire said. I nodded. "You think they're gonna move in together?" Claire asked. I shook my head.

"I don't know… I can't say really, because I don't know what all is going on between them, but I feel like, if they were going to move in together, they would've done it yesterday," I said. She nodded.

"But doesn't Sawyer want to?" She asked me. I opened my mouth to reply, but I had no answer. Sawyer hadn't talked to me about any of this… it felt like it had been forever since we really talked. Instead of responding, I shrugged. Claire nodded, and looked out the front window. "Did he leave already?" I moved to the front door and opened it to find Kate sitting alone. She turned when I opened the door.

"Did he leave?" I asked, bouncing Aaron in my arms. Kate turned back to her coffee mug and took a sip.

"Yup," She said. I looked over to his house to see the front door shut, but I didn't see him. I shut the door again and walked back inside, biting my lower lip.

* * *

Claire, Kate and I were all outside together again. I was holding Aaron while Claire and Kate were starting to take some sheets and towels down from the clothesline outside. Aaron had been asleep for a while. Kate seemed distracted, and Claire was humming softly to herself. I gazed around a few times, and one time caught a glimpse of Sawyer, walking out of his house and away from the barracks.

"Hey, do you mind if I get up for a few? I need to go to the bathroom," I asked Claire.

"Uh, yeah… you can put Aaron in that laundry basket, if you just put his blanket around him," She said. I carefully laid Aaron down in the basket on top of the folded towels, lining it a little with his blanket.

"Thanks… be right back," I said. I hurried off in the direction Sawyer left. I eventually caught up to him. "Hey!" I called out. He was heading into the jungle.

"Carmen," He said as I got closer.

"Where you going?" I asked.

"Getting' some fruit. There wasn't a lot of good food in our kitchen," He said.

"Oh, I'll come with you. We don't have much in our kitchen either," I said, lying. Claire had gone through the kitchen cabinets that morning; she found not only coffee, but cereals, dehydrated food mixes, and other assorted goodies. Sawyer looked hesitant to let me join him, but smiled and nodded. We silently walked for a moment until we came upon some apple trees.

"How you like living with Claire?" He asked me. I nodded as I reached up to a tree branch.

"It's good," I said. "How's it with Hurley?" I asked. He laughed.

"Peachy," He said. I laughed.

"Can you help me? I can't reach…"

"Yeah, I gotcha," He said. He grabbed me around my waist and hoisted me up. I quickly grabbed a branch and pulled myself up onto it, sitting on it. I pulled apples down one at a time and dropped them down to Sawyer.

"So… if you don't mind me asking… what's going on with you and Kate?" I asked slowly. Sawyer didn't answer. "If you don't want to say, you don't have to. I was just…" Sawyer still didn't answer, so I had my answer. "Just curious." I jumped down, and we walked back, carrying armfuls of apples. I followed him to his house.

"Uh, how many apples did you wanna take back over to your house?" Sawyer asked.

"Oh, I don't need any," I said.

"But you said…"

"Yeah, I know, I, uh…. I lied," I said, smiling and averting my eyes. He chucked a little under his breath.

"You just wanted to play Johnny Appleseed with me?" Sawyer asked, putting fruit away. I was frustrated that he was just shrugging me off. Just because Kate was around, it's like I didn't even matter anymore.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you," I said frankly. He looked up from the refrigerator. "But seeing as Kate's around, I might as well not exist." He looked away, tightening his lips. "You don't talk to me anymore. When you came with us when we left Jack, I thought that that meant things would start getting better, but even then you didn't care!"

"Listen, it's not that…"

"No, you listen! I'm tired of being last on your list. What happened to the guy that told everyone Kate was a criminal to make sure he'd be able to be on the raft, with me? To make sure he could save me? Who offered to live with me when we got back to the real world?" I asked. He looked back up at me, looking like an upset puppy. "Now…You didn't even offer to live with me here." Sawyer shook his head.

"Look… when Juliet had that tape, and she said something about Kate being pregnant…"

"Yeah, and by the way, she said something about me being pregnant, too!" I yelled back.

"But we both know you aren't," Sawyer said bitterly. I was taken aback by his harsh rebuttal, and literally backed a step away in shock. I didn't know what to say, or think. Why was I even so offended? No, I hadn't had sex with Desmond, and that was a good thing... so why did it hurt so much for Sawyer to bring it up like that? It been silent a few moments now, the spiteful words floating around between us, muting the atmosphere. I had to say something...

"Is she?" I asked. He looked up at me, confused. I suppose he wasn't expecting me to change the subject back to Kate after he had verbally bitch slapped me. "Is she pregnant?" He shrugged.

"I don't know... but that's why it's so important," He said. We stood quietly at the side of his house for a few moments that probably only lasted seconds, but felt like hours. I felt so betrayed. He shook his head after a while. "Look... with all that's been going on with those freighter-folk, and John, and settling into this place..."

"Don't act like you're trying so hard," I said spitefully. "You're not." Suddenly, I was aware of how shaky my voice was, and how my throat seemed so tight that I was unsure words could escape. "I thought I could count on you," I said, trying to calm myself, but failing. I could feel a moist tear escaping from the corner of my eye. "Whatever," I said, dismissing him and turning away to hide my vulnerability. I turned around and headed for my house. "I can't fight your losing battle forever," I said, leaving him beside his house as I walked onto my porch and into the house. I know that I sounded like I was giving up: I wanted to give up. I wanted to be able to say, 'I'm done,' and truly be done, and never have to worry about him again. But I knew that that day might never come. I wiped my cheek and could feel that I had cried more than I'd realized. My cheek was very wet. I went into the bathroom and washed my face, and brushed my hair, getting ready for the dinner that John was making us.

* * *

"This chicken is delicious, John," Claire said, tapping the table and pulling me out of my trance. I had been staring at the striped yellow tablecloth for a while now, my fork lingering on my fingertips, a vacant expression on my face. I looked up at Claire, who had obviously noticed that, though I was sitting at the table, I was miles away. I didn't even know what I was thinking about; there was just so much running through my head that I didn't have enough time or energy to organize my thoughts in a coherent manner. I looked down at my plate. The chicken was pretty good, but I'd only had a few bites. I had some corn and macaroni and cheese on my plate as well. It was a great meal, and Claire was right: it was all delicious. I just didn't seem to have much of an appetite.

I looked around at the table. Everyone was here except for two people. Their chairs were empty, yet they seemed to still have a very strong presence in the room. Kate and Sawyer weren't at the table, and it killed me to know that they were probably together, but I looked away from the empty chairs in an attempt to mask my disappointment. I stabbed a piece of chicken on my plate and ate quickly. I wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to arouse any attention by not eating. There was some hushed chit chat around the table for a while. I didn't say much; just kept eating. There was a knock at the door after a while. As John got up and opened the door, I turned around to see who'd come. Once John fully opened the door in a welcome greeting, Sawyer stepped in, nodding at everyone.

"Hey. Sorry, I, uh, lost track of time," He said to John. He looked around, smiling at everyone in a greeting. As soon as we made eye contact, I turned back around, looking down at my plate, eating some macaroni and cheese. Sawyer sat down in one of the chairs. I ate faster, wanting to leave and go to bed early. After a while of meaningless chatter around the table, Danielle spoke loudly.

"Locke," She said. "I hate to question a good thing, but… what exactly is the plan?" She asked calmly. We all silenced and looked to John, who smiled and shook his head, wiping his mouth with his napkin.

"Right now, we're gonna keep doin' exactly what we're doin'. We're safe here for now, and Ben's gonna tell me who his spy on the boat is."

"He told you?" Sawyer asked.

"Not yet," John smiled after a pause. I sat back in my chair. This plan sucked. I felt like we were waiting for shit to hit the fan. We continued eating, everyone much quieter. I left the house with Claire and Aaron around 7:00.

* * *

I sat out on the front porch, looking at the stars.

"Hey," Claire said, the door hitting the door jamb as she came out and sat beside me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling at her. "Just a… a difficult day." Claire nodded.

"Do you wanna… talk about it?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Nah… not really a big deal," I said, shrugging. I looked over to Claire. She looked like I had shot her down. "Don't worry about it, really," I said. She smiled at me.

"If you're sure," She said, rubbing her head. I looked back up at the sky. "There's Orion's Belt," She said quietly.

"Where?" I asked. She pointed to the sky.

"There… those three stars in a line," She said. I nodded.

"Oh, yeah, I see it," I said. She lowered her arm. "I've never been good with… constellations, and all that jazz," I laughed.

"Really? I've always loved astrology, and reading the stars. I mean, I know a lot of people think it's just a load of crap, but they just don't get it," She said. I didn't believe in astrology; indeed, I thought it was a load of crap. But I thought it was fun to play along with anyway. "I bet I can guess your sign," She said. I bit my lower lip.

"Okay… go ahead, try and guess," I smiled. She leaned back on her arms.

"Hmm… alright, let's see. You're very reliable, and determined… a good leader. Very adaptable, and hyper, but… hmm… I'm gonna go with… Taurus?" Claire asked. I laughed a little and nodded.

"Yeah," I laughed out.

"Awesome!" She said. "When's your birthday?"

"May 19th," I replied.

"See, I knew it had to be around there, because you're a lot like a Gemini," Claire said. I laughed. "You know, Kate's a Gemini," She added. My wide smile dissipated a little, but I didn't let it fade completely.

"That's really cool, that you just knew," I said. I wondered if I had ever told her my birthday before…

"Yeah… I was really into that stuff back home," She said. I nodded. Suddenly, I heard a door slam. I looked across the way to see John and Sawyer running towards us.

"What's going on?" I yelled to them.

"Carmen, get inside your house," John yelled back at me. I could see guns in their hands. I stood up as they disappeared from sight.

"What's going on?" Claire asked.

"I don't know… come on, let's go in," I said. Claire stood up and I followed her to the front door. I heard a glass window break across the way.

"What was that?" Claire asked.

"Go inside," I said. I pushed her in the house and ran to my room, where in my bedside table, my gun lie concealed in a drawer. I took it out and hurried back down the hall and out of the house.

"Where are you going?" Claire asked.

"Stay here with Aaron," I said. I hurried across the way to John's house: the only place I could hear noise coming from. Someone was loudly hurrying through the house. I knew Ben was still in the basement. I tried to open the front door, but it was locked. I went around to the back to see the window broken, and the door open. I walked in quietly. The basement door was closed. I crept slowly closer to the door, but stopped suddenly when I heard a gunshot. I could hear a heavy door open, and I nervously ran back out of the house. I ran in the direction John and Sawyer had gone in. I could see their flashlights on approach.

"Locke, someone's in your house…"

"I know," He said, running to me. I hurried ahead and ran to the back door, letting John go first. Sawyer held me to the side, going ahead of me. John opened the door to the basement, and I could see Kate and Miles standing at the top of the stairs.

"Go back to your house, Kate," John said, pointing his gun at Miles.

"John, this has nothing to do with you…" Kate started, approaching John on the stairs.

"Go back to your house, Kate!" John yelled. I looked at Kate grimly as she left the basement, as if questioning her: Why did you do it? Why now? What reason could you have for bringing Miles to Ben? She left through the back door, and disappeared.

"James, if you could escort Carmen back to her house, I…"

"Wait, John, what's going on…"

"Carmen," Sawyer said, interrupting me and grabbing my arm. He shook his head. I looked at Miles, who looked guilty and anxious about his punishment, then left. As soon as we were out of the house, I turned to Sawyer.

"What is going on?" I asked. "How did you know that Kate was bringing Miles to talk to Ben?" Sawyer slowed down.

"Because she told me," He said. I stopped.

"What?" I asked, fuming. "Kate told you she was going to do all this, and you… you were distracting Locke, weren't you?" I asked. He looked down at the ground, not answering. I couldn't see the look on his face for the darkness around us. I laughed a little. "Well this is just great," I said. "I'm so glad that you can con everyone here into thinking we can trust you, James," I said, spitting out his name.

"Carmen, wait…"

"Why should I?" I said angrily, storming off, tucking my gun into my pants. He never answered. At least, he never answered so that I could hear. I didn't stop to wait for an answer; I just went home. When I walked in the living room, Kate was in the kitchen.

"Look…"

"Sawyer told me he knew," I said. She looked up at me, as if afraid I was going to rat her out. I shook my head. "I'm going to bed." I walked away and shut my bedroom door. I hid my gun, in a dresser drawer this time, and took off my pants and my bra, and slipped between the sheets wearing my tank top and underwear. I could hear the shower turn on, and I assumed Kate was washing the guilt off of her. I closed my eyes and tried to shut it all out; the light, the dark, the anger, the frustration, the regret, the annoyance, the pain… a brief moment came when I felt numb to everything other than the crisp sheets caressing me, and my light hair falling around my neck, curling over my collar bones. In that moment, I drifted off into a comfortable sleep, and didn't wake until morning came.

* * *

The sun threw itself into my room, engulfing everything around me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. After getting dressed in my shorts from yesterday and a new tee shirt, I left my room. I could hear Aaron down the hall. I walked into Claire's room: she was still asleep on her bed. Aaron kicked and smiled, awake, but not whiney. I picked him up.

"Come on, Aaron. Let's let mommy sleep in," I said. I shut the door silently behind me. I walked with him outside and sat on the front porch. "Hey, buddy. How you doing?" I asked in baby talk. He giggled happily.

"I'm sorry," I heard. I looked up to see Sawyer looking at me from his porch, leaning on the porch rail. I looked back down to Aaron. I heard Sawyer come closer. "I won't bug you, I just… you were right, and I'm sorry," He said. I played with Aaron's feet a little. Sawyer began to walk away.

"Why now?" I asked. He stopped.

"Kate left this morning," He said. I furrowed my eyebrows. With that, Sawyer walked away, back into his house. I looked down at Aaron. I don't know why, but part of me felt guilty. I held Aaron close to me, hugging him. Why should I feel guilty? Kate had done this time and time again... she was going back to the beach to be with Jack. Two weeks from now, she'd probably come back here for Sawyer. I felt even worse thinking about Kate that way, but it was true. I didn't know what to think about Sawyer's apology. I felt so confused...

"Oh, there you are!" Claire let out in a relieved sigh as she burst through the door. "I saw Aaron was gone, and I freaked a little!"

"Oh, sorry. I was trying to let you sleep in," I said, shaking my head out of my thoughtful trance. I handed Aaron to her.

"You know where Kate is? She wasn't in her room," Claire asked. I looked down at my hands, pensive and lost in my disoriented state of confusion.

"She left."

**Sorry it took me so long to update… hope everyone's enjoying this lovely month of May!**


	70. The Other Woman

**Just FYI, I'm leaving town for a week this Saturday, and I'm not taking my DVDs with me, so it may be a while before I update again. But for now, enjoy The Other Woman (I skipped The Constant because there are no events pertaining to the group Carmen's in in that episode)!**

Claire seemed to expect Kate to leave; she seemed like she thought Kate living with us was a temporary thing to start with. I had to admit, I did too, but part of me just saw Claire as a little more clueless to what went on inside (as Hurley calls it) "the loop." For some reason, I guess I just assumed Claire didn't know about everything between Jack and Kate and Sawyer… then I again, I didn't know about everything that went on between them. Trying to keep up with their gossip was almost as difficult as celebrity gossip in the real world.

Before two hours went by, Claire had folded up the sofa bed that Kate used and was making the room more accessible for all of us to use; she made a makeshift crib out of a laundry basket and the pillows and blankets Kate used so that Aaron could be with her when she watched movies. But by the time noon rolled around, Claire wasn't watching movies, or lounging on the porch like she usually did. She was anxiously bouncing Aaron in her arms, looking out the window by the front door.

"You okay?" I asked her. She looked quickly to me, then back out the window.

"Yeah, I was just wondering… you know, when are we gonna do something?" She asked, turning back to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked in reply.

"Well… I mean, what's going on with Miles? Have we gotten any information from him? And Ben, is he saying anything useful? I just… hate sitting here, waiting for something to happen," She said, looking down at Aaron. I guess Claire was more aware than I thought.

"Well… I don't really know. You could ask John," I said.

"Yeah," She said after a pause. "I think I will." With that she walked out the front door and towards John's house. I stood static, in shock. I didn't think Claire would actually consider talking to John. What could cause Claire to so suddenly want to be an active leader? I sat down on the couch and waited for her to come back. When she did come back in, she closed the door softly.

"So?" I asked. Claire looked to me, as if surprised to see that I was sitting there. "What happened?" She shook her head.

"I tried to get him to let me talk to Miles… see if he'd talk to someone that appeared safer than John. But John just… shot me down," She said. She started to walk back to her room.

"Hey Claire?" I asked, stopping her. She turned and looked at me, waiting for me to speak. "Why are you wanting all the answers? I mean… why now?" I spit out. She looked down at her feet, then walked back towards her room. I looked down at my hands, realizing that that was all the answer I was going to get. But then Claire came back out and sat beside me on the couch. She looked down at her hands for a moment, and closed her eyes, as if she was forcing thoughts out of her mind, and words out of her throat.

"I've been… having weird dreams," She said slowly. I moved a little closer to her on the couch, letting her know I wanted her to continue. "I can't really explain them, but… I can just feel that something bad is gonna happen, you know?" I nodded in agreement. "I just… I need to do something. I can't just sit here and let it all happen. I have to try to do something."

"Do you know what's going to happen?" I asked, wanting to know if she had dreams about any particular thing. She chuckled under her breath and shook her head.

"No… I know I sound crazy…"

"You don't sound crazy. I mean… sure, it's kind of weird to have those feelings, but we've all had them. Women's intuition, ESP, whatever it is… I don't think you're crazy," I said.

"Do you… have that feeling?" She asked. I guess she wanted to know if I felt uneasy.

"No. I can't say I do, but… I know the feeling you mean," I said. She nodded. I put my hand on top of hers, which were clasped together worriedly. "It'll be okay. I promise." She smiled. It was forced at first, but she relaxed a little.

"Thanks, Carmen," She said. It was one of the few moments on the island that I felt more like an equal, and less like a teenager, tagging along. It was nice.

Someone suddenly knocked at the door. It took me a second to get up. I opened the door to see Sawyer standing nervously on the other side.

"Hey," He said slowly. I forced a small smile to my face.

"Hey," I replied. He peered through the door to see Claire on the couch.

"Hello, Claire," Sawyer said. Claire smiled.

"Hello, Sawyer," She replied. I looked back to Sawyer.

"Can we, uh… talk?" Sawyer asked. I hesitated a moment, but I don't know why. I wanted things to get better between us.

"Of course," I said nicely, opening the door and stepping aside, welcoming him in. He walked in, nodding again to Claire. Claire nodded back and got up to leave. "Oh, Claire, you don't have to go…"

"No, it's fine. I have to feed Aaron anyway," She said. I sat down at the kitchen table, and Sawyer sat down across from me. Claire flashed me an understanding smile as she disappeared down the hall. After I heard the door close, I looked to Sawyer.

"So… what's up?" I asked.

"I just… I really want to apologize," He said. I looked down at the table. "I know you're mad at me, and I know…"

"I'm not mad," I said calmly, still looking at the table. I could feel Sawyer just staring back at me in reply. "I'm not mad, I just…" I looked back up at Sawyer, letting out a sigh. "I want things to be better too, Sawyer, I do. I'm just tired of it being a one-sided thing." He nodded.

"It won't be. Not anymore. I promise," He said. I looked into his eyes. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to truly and completely believe him when he promised he'd work with me on making our friendship work. But most of me was hesitant, screaming out 'Don't believe him! He's just gonna forget about you next time Kate comes back around!' But I forced that voice to silence.

"Okay," I said, smiling. He smiled back.

"Thank you, Carmen," He said quietly. I nodded. He stood up, and I followed suit. He hugged me suddenly, and I hugged back. I was reluctant at first, but as soon as I had my arms around him, and I could feel his chest rising and falling so close to me, all my reluctance faded. Things were going to get better: I just knew it.

* * *

I sat in the dry grass near Sawyer and Hurley.

"You sure you don't wanna go a round?" Sawyer asked me.

"No, I'm fine. I was never really good at horseshoes," I said.

"Okay, my turn," Hurley said.

"Uh-uh, Amigo. You got first turn last game. It's my turn," Sawyer said, bumping Hurley aside. He concentrated, and threw the horseshoe landing it close to the pole, but not scoring anything. Hurley went, and had the same luck. On Sawyer's next turn, he landed one leaning up against the pole. "Oh! Beat that," Sawyer dared, chuckling. Hurley stepped up quietly, lined up his shot and threw it. His landed around the pole, and almost knocked Sawyer's horseshoe off. Hurley laughed and clapped. "Son of a bitch!" They both walked up to the pole; I got up and followed.

"He got you," I laughed. Hurley high-fived me, and we both laughed a little at Sawyer.

"How'd you get so damn good at horseshoes?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno… guess I'm just lucky…" Hurley's voice trailed off. I looked up to see him staring across the way. When I saw what he was staring at, I grabbed Sawyer's shoulder.

"Wha…" But then Sawyer saw it too. Benjamin Linus was carrying a stack of clean sheets… walking across the courtyard… "What the hell are you doin out?" Sawyer asked angrily. Ben smiled and waved at us.

"See you guys at dinner," He said, walking in to a house that had not been moved in to yet. I looked to Sawyer.

"Did I miss something?" Sawyer asked angrily. I looked back at the front door of Ben's new house, confused, worried, and anxious about what we'd find out at dinner tonight…

**So I know it's a shorter chapter, but those of you that know Lost know that we're getting in to the meat of the season! I hope to write again soon, but if I don't for a while, it's because I'm out of town! Thanks for reading!**


	71. Meet Kevin Johnson

**So I had fun out of town, but I was thinking about LOST a lot! I missed writing! So- since Ji Yeon is all on the beach- here's Meet Kevin Johnson!**

I sat uncomfortably on the counter in John's living room. After Hurley, Sawyer and I had seen Ben that afternoon, things had been uncomfortable, and scary. Ben was all of a sudden free. All John had told us was that he'd explain everything at dinner. Well, dinner was prepared, sitting on the table, but none of us ate. We waited for John to return with Miles in silence, afraid of what was to come. The counter I sat on faced the door, and Sawyer stood, leaning against a column to my left. I was staring distrustfully at Ben, who seemed to stare straight back at everyone in this room at once. I was worried, and nervous… I felt like the climax of my entire time of the island was just ahead of me. Suddenly, John burst through the door with Miles, shutting it behind him.

"Thank you all for your patience," He said. I looked to Miles, who looked back at me uncomfortably for a moment, then down at his feet. "I know it's taken me a few days to… figure out our next move, but I didn't wanna do anything until I knew more about our situation. You deserve to know everything that I do, so… no more secrets. As you all know, Miles here and three of his people came to the island about a week ago. So I brought him up from the boat house to share with us exactly why they're here," John said, looking to Miles. Miles looked slowly to Ben.

"We're here for him," He said, pointing to Ben, though his wrists were bound.

"Uh, we kinda, like, knew that forever ago," Hurley said, leaning forward.

"Well, alright then! Problem solved. How soon do we turn him over?" Sawyer asked. I looked to John.

"We can't turn him over," John answered softly.

"And why the hell not?" Sawyer asked, annoyed.

"Because once they have me, their orders are to kill everyone else on the island," Ben said, looking calmly to Sawyer. I stared back at Ben, looking for a trace of a lie. But there was none evident. I looked to Miles, who looked uncomfortably at his feet. I then turned to Sawyer, seeing he had the exact reaction that I did: disbelief, and worry; fear.

"Wait, so… what, he's one of us now? You're, you're gonna protect him? He tried to kill you, John," Claire said, holding Aaron close to her.

"Yeah, he won't even tell us who his spy on the boat is," Hurley said.

"It's Michael." Dead silence fell over the room for what felt like minutes. The name rung in my ears. Michael?

"What?" I heard Hurley ask quietly in disbelief.

"My spy on the freighter is Michael," Ben repeated.

"Michael… Michael Dawson?" I asked quietly, a look of sheer disbelief enveloping me.

"Yes," Ben answered quickly.

"I'm sorry," Sawyer replied, the same frustrated disbelief consuming him, as well. "You mean the same guy that killed two women in cold blood, then set this little bastard free? And then sold all of us out so he could get off the island? That Michael?"

"Yes, James," John replied. "That Michael." Silence engulfed the room. I felt no thoughts running through me; I felt numb to everything around me. "Now… we are going to protect Ben. As far as I'm concerned, he is one of us. I suggest we all get some dinner, and just try to relax. If anything happens, I give you my word, you will hear about it." John smiled. With that, he moved towards the table and got some food. People began picking at the meal, and whispering soft murmurs about the danger we felt around us. I didn't know what to do, or think. I just sat on the counter, my hands folded in my lap. Sawyer walked up to me after a while.

"You okay?" He asked me. I looked up to him and nodded.

"Yeah, just… surprised, I guess," I said. He nodded, then looked around him. "What is it?" I asked, sensing something else was bugging him.

"Come with me," He said. He grabbed my wrist, and I hopped off the counter. We quickly squeezed between some people talking in the open doorway, and he let go of my wrist as I could see we were catching up to John and Miles. "Hey!" Sawyer called, stopping John and Miles in their tracks. We caught up, and stopped in front of him. I looked to Sawyer, waiting for him to initiate an interrogation. "That was a nice meeting, John, but… I thought you said there weren't gonna be more secrets."

"What are you talking about?" John asked. I stared up at Sawyer, wondering what he was talking about.

"I'm talkin' about the three million bucks your buddy here asked for," Sawyer said, looking to Miles. I looked at John, shocked and curious. "Well?"

"Yeah, Miles offered his loyalty in exchange for the money. But as I haven't seen a bank on the island, I didn't think it worth mentioning," John said. Miles laughed under his breath.

"Something funny?" Sawyer asked threateningly.

"Linus'll find a way to get it," Miles said frankly to John.

"And how will he do that?" Sawyer asked; perhaps curious to see if Miles really had an answer. Instead, he shrugged and bit his lower lip.

"He wants to survive," Miles said. "And considering a week ago you had a gun to his head, and now he's eating pound cake, I'd say he's a guy who gets what he wants." John and Sawyer were quiet a moment.

"Is what he said true?" I asked Miles. He looked me in the eyes for the first time that evening.

"What?" He asked.

"Ben said that… once your people had him, you were ordered to kill the rest of us," I said, recalling the conversation. Miles lowered his head, but my eyes had captivated his. "Is that true?" I asked again.

"I can't say," He said after a moment.

"And what if I make you say?" Sawyer said, threatening him as he moved forward. Miles shifted back nervously.

"No, I mean… I can't say because they're not my orders," He said. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What do you mean? You said that your team came here under orders to find…"

"Yeah, we had orders to find Linus," He said. "But it's not my team that was supposed to extract him." Sawyer looked to John.

"Then who is?" John asked.

"Another team… a team headed by a guy named Keamy, I don't know his first name," Miles answered, short of breath and nervous.

"Carmen, you coming home?" Claire asked. I turned to see her headed back to our house.

"Um, not quite yet, I'm talking with John and Miles," I answered.

"No, it's fine, I need to take Miles back to the boat house anyway," John said.

"John…"

"Carmen," Sawyer said, looking to me, "it's fine." John slowly turned with Miles. Miles looked me in the eye until John had pulled him away. "She'll be home later, Claire," Sawyer called. "I'm gonna steal her for a little while."

"Okay," Claire answered cheerily. Sawyer pulled me by the wrist into his house, pulling my gaze away from John and Miles. We went into the house, where Hurley was already sitting on the couch, watching some old movie. We went into the kitchen. Sawyer pulled a box of wine out of a cabinet.

"Boxed wine?" I asked. He shrugged.

"It's still wine," He answered. I chuckled to myself. He filled two glasses and gave one to me. "To… not dyin' yet," He toasted. I smiled and clinked his glass with mine.

"To not dyin' yet," I repeated softly before taking a long sip. The thick red wine flowed over my tongue and down my throat. I wished I could have more and more, and just forget my problems.

"Listen," Sawyer started quietly, "it'll be alright." I nodded.

"Yeah, I know. It's always alright," I said, taking another sip of my wine.

"You still have that gun I gave you?" He asked me after a pause. I looked up to him hesitantly.

"Yeah."

"You keep it on you from now on. Everywhere you go, at all times… you better have your gun on you," He said. I nodded slowly.

"Here I was thinking things could be calm again," I said, feigning a smile. He did the same.

"The shit hasn't hit the fan yet, San Diego," He said, smiling as he leaned against the wall. I smiled a real smile, and looked back down at my glass. I lifted it to my lips and tilted my head back, downing gulps of it, preparing for the worst.

**Short episode- most of it is explaining where Michael's been if you've seen the show. The next episode, if you now the show, is EPIC. It'll take me a little while to write, so expect it probably some time next week. :)**


	72. The Shape of Things to Come

**So guess what I've been up to? I reread this entire fanfic, making sure I had all of my details straight. It took me quite a while, but it also helped me realize that I've been writing this fanfiction for a very long time- I think since my sophomore year of high school! I'm going into my sophomore year of college now! Isn't that wild? Anyways, this is an awesome episode: The Shape of Things To Come.**

I held Aaron close to me, his small hand grasping two of my fingers. I sat forward in my chair, anxious for Sawyer to make a decision. John turned his head and watched Sawyer intently, and Hurley stared him down, as if trying to pressure him into a decision through mere eye contact.

"Don't do it," Hurley said. Sawyer carefully examined the board in front of him. "We're all gonna die," Hurley said after a long pause.

"Calm down, Chicken Little. Sky ain't fallin' just yet," Sawyer replied, looking up at Hurley from across the table.

"That's exactly what he wants. To fight amongst ourselves. You're making a big mistake, dude," Hurley said.

"It's his to make, Hugo," John said. He turned his head back to Sawyer. "Let's get on with it."

"Right," Sawyer smiled. He looked back down at the board. "I'm attacking Siberia," He said, picking up the dice. When he read the numbers, he chuckled to himself. "Sorry."

"I can't believe you're just givin' him Australia. Australia's the key to the whole game," Hurley said, reaching for the dice, frustrated.

"Says you," Sawyer laughed, moving his games pieces. I noticed his smile and leaned back in my chair, bouncing Aaron. "What are you smilin' at?" Sawyer asked. I looked up and realized he was talking to me.

"Oh… nothing. I just think it's funny how seriously you're all taking this. I mean… it's Risk, not… plotting a prison break from the others," I laughed. Sawyer chuckled along with me, but Hurley and John looked nervously at each other, like they felt uncomfortable laughing.

"Where's Claire?" Hurley asked, moving his piece on the board.

"Oh, she's taking a nap. Thought I'd babysit for her while she was asleep," I said.

"Does she know you have him?" Hurley asked, looking to Aaron.

"I left a note in his crib so she wouldn't freak," I replied.

"Your turn," Hurley said to John. John folded his hands under his chin and contemplated his next move.

"You could start by rolling the dice," Sawyer suggested, laughing. I smiled as well. Suddenly, I heard a ringing; a phone ringing. I looked past John to see a small black phone emitting the ringing noise. We all stared at it, curious and nervous for a moment. John got up and slowly picked it up, raising it to his ear. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I could hear a recorded voice repeating something. John looked down at the receiver in his hand.

"Who is it?" Hurley asked. John turned back to look at us.

"I think it's for Ben," He said.

"What did it say?" I asked, anxiously bouncing Aaron in my lap.

"It kept repeating 'code 14-J'," John said, hanging up the receiver.

"Well what the hell does that mean?" Sawyer asked. John shook his head, and walked back to the table.

"What do we do?" Hurley asked.

"We need to find out what that is," Sawyer said.

"No," John quickly replied.

"No?" Sawyer snapped back.

"What if that code means something that's bad for us? What if that code is a code for Ben to leave, or to…" John hypothesized.

"And what if it's code for 'the shits hittin the fan, and you might wanna take cover?'" Sawyer replied. He had a point. I anxiously looked at John.

"John, Sawyer's right… we need to ask Ben. Worst comes to worst, he just goes back to being a prisoner instead of a neighbor," I said. I knew that that definitely wasn't the worst case scenario, but Sawyer was right; we had to find out what 14-J meant. John anxiously looked around him, grabbing the chair as if he might throw it out the window.

"Okay… you and Hurley, stay here with the baby. James, come with me," John said. Sawyer got up and followed him out of the house. I stood as soon as they left. I was nervous, and felt very conscious of the hand gun in the back of my shorts. I heard something behind me, and I turned to see Hurley pouring the pieces from the game into the box, and putting the board game away. I said nothing; right now, keeping the board games together was the least of my worries. I wanted to know if Sawyer was right, and if we needed to go get Claire, Alex, Karl, Danielle, and everyone else. I heard people walking on the porch of the house. I heard Ben's voice talking loudly to others around him.

"Hurley, take Aaron," I said, handing him the baby carefully. I walked out the front door to see John and Ben looking nervously at each other. John held a shotgun in his hand.

"You wanna live, I'm your best chance," I heard Ben say as I opened the door.

"What's going on?" I asked. Ben and John hurried towards me.

"They're on their way," John said.

"Who is?" I asked as John and Ben pushed past me. John grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house, and I figured it out: the people we were hiding from were coming. I thought briefly about Miles, but figured he was safe, and cast the thought out of my head. Ben slammed the door shut behind me. John went to the window on the right of the door and looked out.

"Hugo, can you help me with this?" Ben asked. Hurley passed Aaron off to me, who was crying desperately.

"Where's Sawyer?" I asked over Aaron's cries.

"He went to get Claire," John said, looking out the window still. I tightened my lips to a sort of smile, proud of Sawyer for taking a chance to get her, but anxious and nervous for him. "These people who are coming… you're scared of 'em, aren't you?" John asked Ben.

"That's right, John," Ben said, pulling a desk in front of the door.

"What's going on?" Hurley asked, standing nervously in the middle of the room. John put his gun down and ran over to Ben to help him move a bookcase.

"Get away from the window, Hugo!" John yelled, helping Ben to flip the bookcase on its side.

"How's Sawyer gonna get back in?" Hurley yelled over Aaron.

"He's not," Ben replied.

"What? Ben, you can't do this!" I yelled, holding Aaron close to me. Suddenly, I heard a single loud gunshot ring out. I looked to the window, cautious to bring Aaron close enough to see out of it. John and Ben continued moving things in front of the door, John looking up at the sound of gunfire. More shots rang out; I could hear the distinct difference between a handgun, like Sawyers, and a machine gun. Suddenly I heard a loud explosion that vibrated through the floor of the house. The gunfire stopped, but I looked to Hurley in distress. I turned to John, who had frozen where he was, staring at me. Ben kept moving furniture in front of the door in a frantic frenzy.

"John, help me lift this couch," Ben ordered. John hurried over to him to help.

"Hurley, see if you can see what they blew up," I ordered, motioning to the window with a nod of my head. Aaron cried loudly, and I held him close, bouncing him.

"Right now, I need you to tell me what's going on!" John yelled after they lifted the couch on top of the desk in front of the door.

"I think the technical term is called shock and awe," Ben replied. "They're trying to frighten me into surrendering."

"But why did they stop shooting?" John asked.

"Is that Claire's house?" Hurley asked nervously.

"What?" I asked, wanting to find someone else's house aflame. I ran over to the window to see her house, my house, scorched and torn apart, little but the frame still remaining intact. I held Aaron tighter and bounced him.

"Hey, it's Claire…" Hurley started, turning around, trying to alert John to what happened. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"Hugo! Get the baby away from the window! Put him in the back room," John yelled, pulling Hurley and I away from the window. I hurried with Hurley to the back bedroom.

"Oh my God, Claire," I said to myself, praying that Sawyer got to her first. But where was he? Please, say he wasn't shot…

"Where can we put Aaron?" Hurley asked. I looked to a laundry basket.

"There… dump the laundry out of that," I said. He emptied the laundry basket, and put it on the floor with two pillows from the bed stuffed inside of it. I lay Aaron down softly inside. As soon as he was safe, I pulled the gun out of the back of my shorts. "What do we do…" I started mumbling.

"Open the front door!" I heard Sawyer yell. I looked out the window to see Sawyer running towards the house, holding Claire in his arms. I tucked the gun back in my shorts as Hurley ran to the window to see what I saw, then I ran down the hall to the front door.

"Hurley, help!" I shouted as I tried to move the couch.

"Hugo, you don't wanna do that," Ben warned, cocking his gun. Sawyer reached the front door, and I could hear him kicking it.

"Open the damn door!" Sawyer yelled. Hurley stared back at Ben angrily. "Open the door! Open this damn door!" I ran to the side and picked up an ottoman, chucking it with all my strength at the window at the right of the door. It flew through the window, and Sawyer silenced. He ran in front of the window, and John moved the chair that was blocking the window. Hurley came over and took Claire from him, who was unconscious and had blood and smoke stains covering her. "Careful," He instructed Hurley.

"She alright?" John asked, helping Sawyer in.

"She got her bell rung, but she'll be alright, " Sawyer said, coming in. John pulled the curtains in front of the window. He collapsed against one of the columns in the kitchen area. I knelt down in front of him.

"Are you okay? Were you shot?" I asked, the anxiety and fear evident in my quaking voice. He shook his head.

"They just started shooting… why? Why slaughter people without even telling us what they want?" Sawyer asked, angry at the senselessness. I could see blood spattered across his shirt; not his blood.

"Those people were murdered to make you angry, James, so you'd be more likely to come storming in here and throw me to the wolves," Ben said. Sawyer angrily looked at Ben.

"What's wrong with that?" He asked, grabbing Ben by the shirt collar. "Sounds like a good plan to me. What do you say, on three?" He asked, looking at me. I didn't know what to think or say, but it didn't matter. The doorbell rang. I turned around, and nervously pulled the gun out from the back of my shorts, aiming at the door. "Stay here," Sawyer ordered. John ran to one window and looked out. Sawyer ran to the other, aiming his gun as he peered out. He and John gave each other nervous looks.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Ben warned.

"Shut up!" Sawyer ordered. He nodded to John and they moved the furniture away from the door. John loaded his gun, as did I, and we aimed at the door. Sawyer opened it just a crack, and pulled in a body, throwing it away as he slammed the door back shut. John, Ben and I all aimed our guns at Miles.

"Miles?" John asked.

"Who the hell let you out?" Sawyer asked, angrily pointing his gun right in Miles' face.

"The people that gave me this," Miles said, holding up a walkie-talkie. "They wanna talk!" He explained. After a moment, Ben lowered his gun, and turned around, contemplating.

"Is this the extraction team you were talking about?" I asked Miles after a few minutes of nervous silence.

"Yeah," He nodded nervously, looking up at Ben.

"Search him," John looked to Sawyer. Sawyer tucked his gun into the back of his jeans and knelt down, checking to see if Miles had any guns or holsters around his legs. "How many of them are there?"

"Maybe six… I'm not sure," Miles said.

"What do you mean, you ain't sure?" Sawyer asked, standing up and pushing Miles back. "You came over on the same boat with 'em, didn't ya?"

"They told me they were just security," Miles explained to Sawyer.

"Security for what?" John asked, still pointing the gun at Miles.

"For him," Miles replied, pointing to Ben with the walkie-talkie, "once they've got him, to escort him back to the mainland."

"Well, Miles, sounds like you're not gonna collect your $3.2 million," Ben said, resting his head contemplatively on the butt of his gun.

"Just take it!" Miles said, nervously holding the walkie out for Ben to take.

"Why would I talk to them?" Ben quietly asked.

"Because they have a hostage," Miles said.

"Well, then they've badly miscalculated… because every single one of my people is prepared to die in service to this island," Ben loudly explained.

"It's your daughter!" Miles yelled. Ben nervously turned to Miles.

"Alex?" I asked, terrified for her. "They have Alex?" I asked again. Miles looked at me, and said nothing. Ben approaching him and took the walkie-talkie. He held it away from his face as if it were an infectious, disgusting animal.

"Hello," Ben said into it. The room silenced. We all stared intently at Ben.

"Am I speaking to Benjamin Linus?" The walkie answered.

"That's right," Ben snidely replied.

"My name is Martin Keamy. I'm an employee of Charles Widmore," He said.

"Who's Charles Widmore?" Sawyer asked. I looked to John.

"Later," He said, staring at the walkie.

"I'd like you to go look out your east window. We can talk about this face to face," He said. I looked to the window that was to the left of the door. Ben slowly approached it and pulled aside the curtain. "To the left," The man instructed. "You see me?"

"Yeah, I see you," Ben quietly mumbled into the walkie-talkie.

"Alright, Mr. Linus, these are my terms: you're gonna step out the front door, put your hands above your head, and you're gonna walk straight to me. When I have you in my custody, then I promise you that no one else in that house will be harmed," He said. I looked hesitantly and nervously to Sawyer. He returned my same nervous look, then looked back to Ben. He slowly raised the walkie-talkie to his face.

"You and I both know that once you have me, there's nothing to stop you from killing everybody else on this island," Ben said.

"What kind of guy do you think I am?" The walkie-talkie replied.

"Martin Christopher Keamy, wife Elizabeth, two children, Martin, eleven years old, and Carrie, seven years old, living in Long Beach, California. Former first sergeant, United States Marine Corps, served with distinction from 1996 to 2001, but since then, you've worked with a number of mercenary organizations, specifically in Uganda," Ben said, as if he was reading it from a file. "So I know exactly what kind of man you are, Mr. Keamy, and we can dispense with the formalities." I bit my lower lip; I didn't think Ben mentioning his family and where they lived was doing anything to help our safety.

"Okay, Ben," the walkie-talkie said, sounding threatened and angry, "you got it." I heard a whistle outside of the house, and then silence. I looked to Ben to see a look of anguish. He obviously tried to stifle it, but being as close as I was, I could see he was worried and afraid. "Get your ass out here right now… or I'm gonna kill your daughter," Keamy said.

"Alex?" I whispered quietly, as if they could hear me from outside. I moved to the other window and stood close to the wall. I pulled the curtain back a little and could see Alex kneeling on the ground in front of a man in camo, who held a gun to her head. Sawyer was look at me. I nodded to him in distress, indicating that she was out there.

"I'd like to present a counter proposal," Ben said.

"I'm listening," The man replied. Sawyer beckoned for me to come away from the window and over to him. I moved quickly to his side against the wall near Ben, holding my gun close to my chest.

"You and your friends turn around, walk back to your helicopter, you fly away and forget you ever heard of this island," Ben said threateningly.

"Tell your daddy goodbye," The walkie-talkie said.

"Dad?" I heard Alex's panicked voice in the walkie-talkie. "They're serious! They killed Karl! And my mother!" She cried. I lowered my gun and leaned in to Sawyer. I wanted to cry that Karl and Danielle were dead, but I was too worried about Alex.

"Alex, I have this under control. Everything's gonna be okay," Ben said.

"Please! Daddy!" Alex cried into the walkie-talkie. "Just please…" Her voice faded away.

"You have ten seconds, Ben," Martin said.

"Okay, listen," Ben said, unaware of how desperate he sounded.

"Nine," Martin replied.

"She's not my daughter," Ben answered. I looked up at him, horrified that he was saying this for Alex to hear as she had a gun to her head.

"Eight," Martin continued.

"I stole her as a baby from an insane woman. She's a pawn, nothing more. She means nothing to me. I'm not coming out of this house. So if you wanna kill her, go ahead…" A gun shot sounded outside. Everything seemed to freeze and still. I ran to the other window and looked out, to see Martin walking away from Alex, her body collapsed into the grass. I put my hand to my mouth as a whimper climbed up my throat. Sawyer grabbed me and pulled me away from the window.

"He killed her…" I cried into his chest.

"It's okay," He said back, just as terrified as me. He looked out the window next to me.

"I don't see him," He whispered. I walked away, wiping my eyes. I had to get myself together. "He just left her body there and then disappeared into the jungle."

"They won't be gone for long. It's gonna be dark in about twenty minutes, and then they're gonna come for him," John said. I looked around nervously.

"What now?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Hell, let's just hand him over!" Sawyer said, almost begging John to give in. It might be our only chance at survival.

"I don't think these people have any intentions of letting us walk out of here alive, James, no matter what we do," John said, looking between Sawyer and Ben.

"Well I ain't got no intentions of dyin'!" Sawyer said. John looked at Sawyer nervously.

"He changed the rules," Ben mumbled, getting up and walking away from the window.

"What? Who?" John asked, running to the window in case Ben saw something we didn't. I followed him, as did Sawyer.

"You know I'm right. Our best chance here is to toss him out and fend for ourselves," Sawyer said quietly to John. I heard a deep rumbling sound, and turned to see Ben moving a bookcase out from the wall. "Hey!" Sawyer yelled. Ben darted behind the bookcase and I heard the sound of smooth metal machinery. "Where you goin? Open this damn door!"

"He left us…" I mumbled as I stood confused next to John.

"Open up!" Sawyer yelled, pounding on the metal door behind the bookcase.

"He left us," I said a little louder, terrified. What would we do now? Sawyer pounded on the metal door.

"Open the damn door!" Sawyer continued to yell.

"Shit," Miles griped.

"He left us!" I yelled.

"What do we do now?" Miles asked, standing up. "They're not gonna believe that he's just not in the house anymore…"

"Oh my God…" I mumbled to myself, still shocked.

* * *

"Open the damn door!" Sawyer yelled, continuing to pound on the door. "Son of a bitch just left us," Sawyer said. "Open this damn door!" He yelled, banging on the door. The sun had gone down. It had been about a half hour since Alex was shot and left on the ground by Martin Keamy.

"What's going on?" Claire asked. I turned to see her holding Aaron, Hurley following her. I'd almost forgotten about them.

"Claire," I muttered, sighing at the relief of her being okay.

"Claire?" John asked, worried.

"You alright, sweetheart?" Sawyer asked, nervous about her being out of bed.

"Yeah, I'm, uh… a bit wobbly, but I'll live," She said.

"Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that," Miles said. Claire looked nervously around at us. Suddenly, the metal door behind the bookcase opened, and Ben walked out, squeezing past Sawyer.

"Excuse me, James," He said.

"Excuse you?" Sawyer asked angrily, following Ben as he went to get the walkie-talkie. "What were you doin' in there?"

"Okay. Listen to me very carefully. I need all of you to do exactly as I say. In a moment, we need to run from this house as fast as we can. At that moment, when I give the order, I want you to head straight for the treeline," Ben said all of this quickly, as if he were being rushed.

"You mean towards the guys with guns," Hurley said. Ben shook his head quickly.

"No. We wanna be as far away from them as possible," He said. At that moment, everything in the house began to shake, as if there was an earthquake. Dishes fell from cabinets, breaking on the tile floor. I moved towards Claire, making sure she and Aaron were away from all danger. Suddenly, a roar rose above the house, and the loud ticking noises of the smoke monster seemed upon us. My eyes were wide with horror. "Okay, outside! Outside, now!" Ben yelled. Sawyer, John, Miles and Hurley threw the furniture away from the door. I was internally reluctant to going outside with the monster, but I was fully aware that I had no choice. We ran outside, and meant to run away, but stopped to see the chaos and horror that consumed to jungle where our enemies lay. The black smoke engulfed the trees, twisting around them as if it were a horrific basilisk, consuming the mercenaries.

"What did you do?" John yelled to Ben. I couldn't remove my eyes from the tree line.

"Did you just… call that thing?" Hurley yelled. A man came running out of the jungle, holding his machine gun tight to him. I followed my instincts and raised my gun, aiming at the man. However, he turned and attempted to shoot the smoke. It took no injury, and dragged him back into the jungle, him screaming horrifically the entire way. I heard someone in the jungle yell 'pull back,' and I realized I should be doing the same.

"Go! Go, go!" Sawyer yelled to me. I turned and ran, following after Claire, Hurley and Miles. We reached the jungle and anxiously looked around us. John caught up in a moment.

"What the hell was that?" Miles asked. I shook my head.

"I don't know," I said, panting and attempting to catch my breath. It was a useless response, but true. And I could hardly squeeze that answer out between my shallow breaths, let alone a huge explanation of every effect the smoke monster had had on our group since the crash. After a moment, John found two large sticks and lit them on fire. "Claire, are you okay?" I asked. She looked petrified, and just nodded.

"I think your chopper buddies ran that way, if you wanna catch up," Sawyer said, looking to Miles and pointing off into the jungle.

"Yeah, I think I'll stay with you guys for… for now," Miles said, also trying to understand what just happened. Sawyer handed him a stick, and he walked off to the side. I heard the crumpling of leaves and breaking twigs off to our side, and I pointed my gun at the darkened figure approaching us. When I could see it was just Ben, I lowered my gun, still somewhat terrified, knowing that he had some kind of control over the smoke monster.

"I'm sorry about your daughter," John said after a moment of silence.

"Thank you, John," Ben said, as if John had just wished him happy birthday.

"That being said, you lied to me," John said. "You told me you didn't know what the smoke monster was."

"You can ask Jacob all about it when we go to the cabin," Ben said.

"Wait a minute," Sawyer interrupted, "Jacob? Who the hell's Jacob?"

"He's the man that's gonna tell us what to do next, James," Ben said.

"You know what? I'm done with all this. I never should'a followed you wackos in the first place. I'm goin' back to the beach, and Claire and the kid are comin' with me. You good with that?" Sawyer asked Claire. Aaron had started whining a little. I could hear in Sawyer's voice that eagerness to protect Claire, Aaron, me, and Hurley. It was a side of him that not many people got to see. I loved that he was doing this, though; it made me feel infinitely safer.

"Yeah. I'm good with that," Claire said. She was obviously nervous, but I could tell she trusted Sawyer.

"Me too," I said, backing up next to Sawyer.

"I'm comin'with you," Miles said, staying safely behind Sawyer, Claire and I. Sawyer started backing up, and slowly turned around.

"Let's go… you too, Hurley," Sawyer said, more so demanding Hurley to return to safety. Hurley began to follow anyway. I heard a gun cock behind us. I turned to see John pointing a gun at Sawyer.

"John," I uttered quietly, confused.

"Have you lost your mind?" Sawyer asked, stopping in his tracks, but not turning around.

"Hugo stays with us," John ordered. Sawyer suddenly turned around and pulled his gun out, pointing it at Locke.

"Not a chance," Sawyer replied.

"Wait! Leave me outta this," Hurley said, nervous and worried.

"I'm sorry, Hugo. We need you to find the cabin," John explained.

"He ain't goin' anywhere with you, you crazy son of a bitch…" Sawyer said.

"Stop! Put the guns down, I'll go with Locke," Hurley said.

"Hugo!" Sawyer said, not looking away from Locke.

"It's okay, Sawyer! Please. Put your gun down?" Hurley asked. John lowered his weapon, but Sawyer held steady. "You too," Hurley said, looking to Sawyer.

"You don't have to do this…" Sawyer looked to Hurley, distressed. I knew Sawyer just wanted to protect Hurley; God knows, we both did.

"You guys go back to the beach, I'll catch up sooner or later," He said. Sawyer reluctantly lowered his gun.

"You harm so much as one hair on his curly head, I'll kill you," He threatened John.

"Fair enough," John replied. I looked nervously at Hurley, wanting him to stay.

"Let's go," Sawyer demanded. I moved forward, away from John, Ben and Hurley. I was scared, and I looked back at them, nervous and hesitant, but I moved on. "Go, move," Sawyer said, a gentle hand on my back. I kept moving, even though my gut urged me to stay behind with Hurley.

**You may have noticed that Ben's knowledge of Keamy was more detailed than in the episode. That's because the original transcript had Ben unloading a bunch of personal information about Keamy's family. They cut it out of the episode, but I liked the original version so much more, because it complicates how the audience feels about Keamy. And that's the way I've always thought of him (part of me secretly likes Keamy! It's so weird!). Anyway- hope you enjoyed it. I'll hope to write again sometime this week.**


	73. Something Nice Back Home

**I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written. I just got back from my family vacation; I got to visit Nova Scotia! It's a little chillier there than it is in North Carolina this time of year, but it was beautiful nonetheless! Anyways, here's Something Nice Back Home!**

Night passed by slowly, the darkness seeming to creep in on us for ages. We were silent the rest of the night, Sawyer and I looking about us all night, as if we were waiting for mercenaries to swoop down over us, or attack us from the side, or encircle us completely. When the sun finally rose, we stopped and took a break for a couple of hours, knowing that the sprawling sunlight would put the scary shadows to rest.

"How you doin'?" Sawyer asked me quietly. I nodded, wiping the sweat from my forehead with my left hand, while my right hand loosely held my gun.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said.

"Listen, you get tired, just give a holler. We'll take a break," He said. I nodded.

"It's not me you need to worry about," I said quieter, looking over to Claire. She was sitting a little further away from us, quietly holding Aaron's hand and bouncing him in her arms.

"She should be okay, right?" Sawyer asked. I guessed he was referring to her concussion. I nodded, still staring at Claire.

"We just need to keep an eye on her. Give her breaks when she needs them," I said. I wished we had water with us, but all we could do now was just get back to the beach as fast as possible.

* * *

We continued walking through the jungle, Sawyer and I still weary of our surroundings. Miles was leading the group. I followed behind him, with Claire holding Aaron behind me, and Sawyer bringing up the back. I heard Claire stumble behind me and I quickly turned around, making sure she didn't fall.

"You okay?" Sawyer asked, putting a supportive hand on her arm.

"Yeah… just a bit woozy," Claire answered, holding Aaron close to her.

"How's your head?" Sawyer asked her.

"It's better. Bit of a headache, but… at least I'm not seeing things anymore," Claire said, half joking and half serious.

"Yeah, what'd you see?" Miles asked from ahead of me.

"Back off, Donner," Sawyer warned. Miles' question piqued my interest, and the fact that Sawyer told Miles to back off made me think that maybe Sawyer knew what she hallucinated. I slowed down and turned to look at Sawyer, who avoided eye contact with me. He knew something, alright.

"I'm just making conversation," Miles said, defending himself.

"Let's make some time," Sawyer said, rushing ahead of me with Claire trailing close behind him, seeming to keep as close to Sawyer as she could. "I wanna cover more ground before we gotta camp tonight. If we hoof it we can make it to the beach by noon tomorrow." I continued past Miles and kept with Sawyer, turning to tell Miles to keep up. But Miles was frozen in his tracks, with a look on his face of distress and worry.

"Miles?" I asked, worriedly. Sawyer walked back to him quickly.

"What?" Sawyer asked, sounding angry. "Hey! Hey!" Sawyer said, urging an answer out of Miles.

"Who's Danielle and Karl?" Miles asked. I looked back to Claire nervously.

"You mean Rousseau? The French woman?" Claire asked. I couldn't imagine who else he'd be talking about… I hadn't seen Danielle or Karl since a day before the freighter people came. Miles reached down to the ground and started looking around in the dirt for something. I moved closer, trying to see what he was looking for. He brushed aside some leaves to reveal something in the dirt. I couldn't make it out, but it wasn't natural. It looked like something had been buried there. He leaned forward and pulled aside more branches.

"Oh my God," Claire said, holding Aaron closer to her and pulling away. I looked over his shoulder to see Danielle's face, pale and covered in dirt. She'd been dead for quite a while now. I put my hand to my mouth and closed my eyes.

"Is this your French woman?" Miles asked. He moved aside and brushed more leaves away to reveal a shirt in the dirt, and he moved again to reveal a face: Karl's face. I felt a tear run down my cheek.

"Karl," I heard Sawyer mutter under his breath. I knelt down near Miles and leaned over Karl's face. Clumps of dried blood rested around Karl's lips. "How'd you know they were down there?" Sawyer asked Miles angrily. I looked up at Miles, who distraughtly looked up at Sawyer. "Your buddies do this?"

"They're not my buddies, man," Miles said, standing up. "I didn't sign up for this." I rested back on my feet, wiping the tears off my cheek.

"Can we just… can we just get outta here, please? Can we just go?" Claire stuttered out anxiously. I stood up quickly.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. But don't worry, once we get back to the beach, everything's gonna be fine. Alright?" Sawyer said. Claire nervously nodded. "Come on, let's go," He said, quickly pulling Claire along with him through the jungle. I turned on my feet and began to follow. I stopped and turned to see Miles staring down at the bodies. It was the first real time that I could see him express an emotion other than anger. He looked sad, distraught, sympathetic; sorry. I reached out and held his wrist. He looked up at me, then quickly away. We moved together and caught up with Claire and Sawyer, silently and nervously moving forward. I had so many questions and thoughts floating around in my head, but all I could think about was Karl, and the kiss that wasn't supposed to happen.

* * *

We'd been walking for probably two hours, our pace slowing back to a normal rate after a while.

"Sawyer, I need to feed Aaron," Claire said quietly. Sawyer stopped and looked around us nervously.

"Okay… ten minutes," He said, nodding to Claire. Claire and I moved down the slope next to us to where there was a tiny waterfall in the creek. While Claire fed Aaron, I reached my head under the running water and took sips. The water was cold and refreshing. Claire finished feeding Aaron and started bouncing him in her arms.

"Claire, why don't you get some water? I can take Aaron," I said. She hesitated, and then slowly released Aaron into my arms. I bounced Aaron, cradling him carefully while she took sips of water. She quickly came back and took Aaron back, clearly nervous and clinging to him for security. I followed her back up the slope, making sure she didn't slip, and we continued towards the beach.

* * *

"Whoa!" Miles yelled, reaching out to Claire. I turned around to see that Claire had stumbled again. "You want a hand with the baby?"

"No thanks, I'm fine," Claire said kind of snidely.

"You sure? I'm good with kids," Miles said. Sawyer rushed past me, his rifle held tightly to his chest.

"What part of restraining order don't you understand?" Sawyer asked angrily. I was about to intervene when the trees behind me began to rustle. I turned to see branches shaking. Someone was coming. I backed up next to Sawyer, lifting my gun and aiming at the shaky tree line. "Get behind me, Claire," Sawyer quietly instructed Claire. "You ready?" Sawyer whispered to me.

"Ready," I whispered back, carefully aiming at the shaking branches, waiting for someone to emerge. Suddenly, a man burst out of the trees. He was carrying a Halliburton case with a red duct tape cross on it and a satellite phone, and wearing khaki pants and a Hawaiian shirt. His hair was wild and graying, and he had a band aid on his forehead. He looked up quickly and saw me and Sawyer, viciously aiming our guns at him, and stopped in his tracks.

"Whoa!" He yelled.

"Hey! The hell are you?" Sawyer angrily asked.

"Lapidus?" Miles asked from behind me.

"Miles?" The man asked in reply.

"You two know each other?" Sawyer asked, not lowering his gun.

"You gotta hide man. Right now," Lapidus said.

"What?" Miles asked.

"Keamy's coming back. If he sees you, he'll kill all of ya. And he's close, man, you gotta hide. Now. Go! Hide! Just hide!" He yelled. I looked around myself nervously, still holding my gun stiffly in front of me. I then quickly grabbed Miles and followed Sawyer and Claire into the bushes. We knelt down quickly in the bushes, Sawyer and I in front, clutching our guns close to us. Suddenly, the man who shot Alex emerged from the trees with several men in tow. I could see that one of them was horribly injured.

"Where's the chopper?" The man said. I assumed he was Keamy. He seemed to be the one in charge.

"It's about a click back that way," Lapidus said, pointing in another direction.

"You bring the kit?" Keamy asked.

"Yeah, it's right here," Lapidus said. "Jesus, man, you look bad. What the hell happened?"

"You do your job, I'll do mine," Keamy answered. Aaron suddenly hiccuped behind me I turned to see Claire hold Aaron closer to her, clutching him in terror and worry. I slowly moved my gun in front of me as I could see Keamy move closer to the brush.

"Okay," Lapidus said. "It's getting dark, man. We gotta leave now. Mr. Keamy? We gotta get back to the chopper. Keamy, we gotta get back. 'Cuz I'll tell you right now, I am not flying Faraday's bearings at night, I'm not gonna do it, so if you wanna get back, we gotta leave right now, sir!" Lapidus quickly and nervously stammered. I could hear him trying to get Keamy away from us, but I could see the look on his face. Keamy knew something was wrong, and I didn't know if he'd listen to Lapidus.

"Fine. You lead the way," Keamy said. He quickly turned, and the group of mercenaries disappeared within seconds. I lowered my gun slowly, letting out a silent sigh of relief.

* * *

After the sun had been down for an hour or so, we stopped. Sawyer and Miles made a fire, and Claire laid down with Aaron and quickly fell asleep on an airplane blanket. I laid down in the grass, between Miles, Claire and the fire, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

* * *

"It's way too early for Chinese," I heard Sawyer say. I rolled over onto my back and rubbed my eyes, not quite prepared to open my eyes. "Hey sleepy head," I heard Sawyer greet me. I waved a hand in the air as a good morning salute. "Where's Claire? Lady's room?" Sawyer asked.

"Nope," Miles answered. "She just walked off into the jungle." I sat up, looking at Miles nervously.

"What? When?" Sawyer asked.

"In the middle of the night. Just got up and left," Miles said. I looked nervously over at Sawyer.

"And you let her go alone?" Sawyer angrily asked, standing up.

"She wasn't alone," Miles answered.

"Well who was she with?" Sawyer asked.

"She called him dad," Miles answered. "I'd have followed them but… I have a restraining order." I stood up nervously as Sawyer took a dive over at Miles.

"Sawyer, stop…" I started, when I heard Aaron's cry from the jungle. I looked to Sawyer, then out at the jungle where Aaron's cries were coming from.

"Claire?" I yelled, running off in the direction of the cries.

"Claire! Claire!" I heard Sawyer behind me.

"Claire!" I yelled. I moved under branches of trees until I could see, at the base of a large tree, resting in the banana leaves, Aaron lay on his baby blanket. Alone. I ran forward and picked him up, holding him close.

"Is he okay?" Sawyer asked.

"Where the hell is Claire?" I asked worriedly. I held Aaron close to me as he cried.

"Claire!" Sawyer yelled. I bounced Aaron nervously, wanting to cry, but feeling the need to be strong.

"It's okay, it's okay, shh," I said in Aaron's ear, trying to calm myself as much as I was him.

"Claire!" Sawyer yelled over and over.

"What happened?" Miles asked, approaching us from behind.

"Where the hell did she go?" Sawyer asked, lifting Miles by his shirt collar.

"I don't know, she just got up and left…"

"Which way?" Sawyer angrily snapped.

"I don't… the guy was sitting behind Carmen, and they went off in that direction!" Miles yelled. Sawyer let him go and ran in the direction of camp, yelling for Claire. I walked back to our camp and anxiously held Aaron, calming him as I bounced him in my arms.

**Oh no! I'll probably write again later this week! See you soon!**


	74. Cabin Fever

**I guess I'm just in the mood today, because I just went on ahead and decided to write another! Now, in Cabin Fever, the group with Sawyer and Miles doesn't have any screen time. But that doesn't mean nothing happened. So, here's Cabin Fever!**

I sat around our fire, which was now nothing but burnt, dead wood. Aaron had quieted after a few minutes of me holding him, but began crying again later. I assumed it was because he was hungry. I sent Miles out for apples, and I made him mash some up, and I fed Aaron that. He ate, and had fallen asleep.

Another two hours later, Sawyer continued walking in the same circles he'd been walking in for hours, calling to Claire, hoping she'd answer. I had a headache. Aaron may be able to sleep through Sawyer yelling for Claire, but I couldn't even think.

"Sawyer, Sawyer, stop," I demanded, standing in front of him. He looked down at me, distraught and worried.

"We have to find her!" He yelled, stating it more than asking.

"I know, but she's not here, Sawyer," I said. He looked around him, nervous and scared. "Maybe… maybe she went back to the beach?"

"No. No, I'm not goin back there without her," Sawyer said.

"Where else would she go, Sawyer?" I asked, getting upset.

"I don't know!" He yelled. I turned, holding Aaron close to me and making sure he was still asleep.

"Look, we need to get Aaron back to the beach. He needs to have his diaper changed, we need to feed him regularly… it's not safe out here, Sawyer," I said, looking around myself for mercenaries, smoke monsters and whatnot. Sawyer shook his head. He looked off into the distance. Suddenly, something from yesterday jolted back into my memories.

"Sawyer… did Claire tell you about any hallucinations?" I asked, bouncing Aaron a little.

"What?"

"Miles said… Miles said that she saw her dad, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Miles answered, coming over to us, "but that wasn't a hallucination. I saw him, too."

"What did he look like?" I asked. Miles struggled to think of a description.

"Uh… he was older. White hair, combed back kinda nice, collared shirt… held the baby like he knew it," Miles said. I looked to Sawyer.

"Doesn't sound like anyone from the beach," He said.

"Or like any of the others we know," I said. "But what if… what if she thought it was someone she knew?" I asked. Sawyer shook his head, not understanding. "Claire had a concussion, she said she was seeing things. Maybe she was seeing people, people that weren't there." With that, Sawyer looked up, closing his eyes. "What?" I asked.

"We need to go back to the barracks," Sawyer said, turning around and starting in the direction of the houses.

"Wait, what?" I asked angrily.

"The barracks, we need to…"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because… when I found Claire, after those freighter freaks blew up her house, she… she thought I was Charlie," Sawyer said. I looked down at Aaron, worried.

"Sawyer, that… it'll take a day to walk back there one way, and another two days to get back to the beach. Not to mention there are people on this island who are trying to kill us," I said. I shook my head, looking down at Aaron. "We can't." Sawyer paused, looking down at me.

"No… we can't," He said, looking to Miles. "But I can." I looked up at him.

"Wait, what…"

"Carmen, you stay here with the baby and Panda Express, I'm goin' back to the barracks," Sawyer started, pulling his rifle around to grip it in front of him.

"Sawyer, you can't!" I yelled.

"I'll be back late tonight," He said. With that, he ran off into the jungle, gone. I sat down on the ground with Miles, my gun in front of me.

* * *

The sunset could be seen only through slight cracks between the jungle foliage from where our fire was. Miles had gotten more firewood, and we were ready to have a fresh fire tonight. Aaron was awake for now, and was sitting in my lap, facing Miles.

"So… what are we gonna do if he doesn't find her?" Miles asked. For some reason, it had barely occurred to me that he might find her. For some reason, I just got the feeling that she was gone. I shook my head and looked down at Aaron, playing with his little toes.

"We'll head back to the beach… for all we know, she's already there," I said. He chuckled from the other side of the fire pit. "What?"

"Something tells me you don't really believe that," He said. I paused, and looked back down at Aaron, not wanting to admit defeat. "Where do you think she went?"

"If I knew that, we'd be going to get her," I said, giving him a dumb look.

"Well, obviously, you don't think she's at the barracks, or the beach, so..." Miles said, ending his sentence with an innocent look at me. I chuckled once and shook my head.

"I don't know… it's not like Claire to… to just leave him," I said, looking down at Claire. "I don't know anything about her father, but… maybe the others took her…"

"Others?" Miles asked.

"Ben's people," I clarified. He nodded.

"But that doesn't make sense either," I said, talking to myself more than to him. I shook my head and let silence wrap around me for a moment. I wanted to stop thinking about it. She could be dead, for all we knew, just like Karl and Danielle. "Wait," I said, another memory jolting to the front of my mind.

"What?" Miles asked.

"I just… I just remembered something I wanted to ask you," I said. He nodded, leaning back on his elbows.

"Sure. Shoot." I stared at him across the firewood.

"How did you know that Danielle and Karl's bodies were buried back there?" I asked. He looked down, his chin resting on his chest.

"Yeah, that's, uh… kind of complicated," He said.

"I've got time," I replied. He laughed and leaned forward, a more serious tone encompassing the two of us.

"I… have a gift," He said, looking up at me.

"A gift?" I asked, thinking back to the first X-Men movie that came out when I was just a kid.

"I have… another sense. Like a part of my brain that I've unlocked," He said.

"How did you unlock it?" I asked.

"I don't know… it's always been there," He answered. I nodded.

"Okay, so… what is it this gift allows you to do?" I asked. He took a deep breath.

"This is gonna sound crazy," He said.

"Try me," I replied. After surviving a plane crash, encountering polar bears and smoke monsters, and escaping a tribe of particularly evil individuals, I felt up to the challenge. He chuckled, and shrugged.

"I can communicate with the dead," He said. My playful smile vanquished, and I looked at him in confusion.

"Like… M. Night Shyamalan, 'Sixth Sense' kind of stuff?" I asked. He laughed.

"No, no, it's more like… I don't know, I can't explain it, but… when we were walking through there…" Suddenly, I could see sadness and pain in his face. "I could hear that girl crying for Karl. And I could see the look in that woman's face when she realized she couldn't save her daughter… I… it's like I was there…" Miles suddenly looked up at me, anxiously. "That's why they put me on the freighter," He said, trying to conclude the conversation.

"Wait… why?" I asked.

"Because I can see what happens to people that die here. Long after they're dead, I can still hear their thoughts, see who was with them, use that information," He said. I shook my head.

"Who all is dead here that they needed you to communicate with?" I asked, holding Aaron close to me. He shook his head.

"I don't know," He said. "Danielle and Karl are the first two I've encountered since I've been here. But I get the feeling that Linus was involved in more than a few deaths around here," He laughed. With that, I hugged Aaron close to me and worried about Hurley, who was supposed to be with him. The sun had gone down in the last half hour, and I could feel Aaron getting ready to fall asleep. I shifted him in my arms so that he lay against my chest, and he lulled off to sleep. I held my gun on my knee, waiting for Sawyer to get back. "Okay, now my turn," He said. I looked up nervously.

"What?" I asked.

"You got to ask me a question. Now my turn," He insisted. I smiled a little.

"Okay," I replied.

"Why is it that you are in the freighter's list of noted persons?" Miles asked, smirking.

"What does that mean?" I answered, smiling a little.

"We got a manifest of your plane when we got the call from Jack. On it, there were some, uh… noted people. People we were instructed to be wary of. You were one of them, if I'm not mistaken," Miles said. I nervously looked back down at Aaron.

"Maybe you are mistaken," I said. Miles shrugged and looked back into the jungle.

"Then I guess it's nothing to worry about," Miles said, smiling smugly. I hugged Aaron tight, nervous. Why would I be on their list of dangerous people?

* * *

I sat calmly and quietly by the fire, Miles at my side and Aaron in my lap. I felt nervous and jittery, but also exhausted. It had been hours since the sun set. I was worried for Sawyer, but I knew he probably took his time searching the barracks. Suddenly, I heard a twig break in the jungle, and leaves rustling. I looked up and grabbed my gun. I stood up quickly, making sure not to jostle Aaron too much, and prayed that it was just Sawyer. I pointed my gun in the direction of the trees until finally, Sawyer ran out.

"Whoa, whoa! It's just me," He panted out. He must've run halfway here, he was panting so hard. I walked over to him and tucked my gun back into the back of my pants.

"She wasn't there?" I asked, worried, but I had somehow already accepted it. He looked up at me, then back down at the ground, shaking his head.

"No," He said. I sat back down in my old spot and held Aaron close to me. Still asleep. That boy could sleep through damn near anything. "We'll rest tonight… and leave as soon as the sun comes up tomorrow for the beach. Hope she headed back that way." I nodded and held Aaron tight against me. I didn't want to go to sleep, for fear of someone coming back and taking Aaron. They, whoever they were, knew where we were, and I didn't want to risk losing anyone else. Sawyer collapsed, and before I realized his breathing had slowed to normal, he was asleep. Miles, however, sat on the blanket to my left, poking a stick at the fire.

"You should get some rest," I said to him. He shook his head.

"I'm good," He replied in a chipper tone. I smiled, and closed my eyes, resting my eyelids.

* * *

I opened my eyes to see a small ounce of sunlight, creeping across the floor of the jungle. How could I have fallen asleep? I was still sitting up. Then I realized: someone had moved a large rock behind me. I was leaning against it, Aaron still asleep calmly against my chest. I looked over to see Miles, his eyelids struggling to stay open, still poking the dead fire with his stick.

"Did you?" I asked quietly, looking to the rock behind me. He looked over at me, surprised to learn I was awake, then understood my question. He smiled, and looked back at the dead fire.

"Yeah… it was kind of pathetic, seeing you falling asleep sitting up. I was afraid you might fall over. Hurt the baby," He said, still staring at the fire. I smiled at him.

"Thank you," I said. Sawyer suddenly sat up. I guess he just woke up. He looked over to me and then Miles.

"How long you been up?" He asked me.

"Just now," I answered, sitting upright. That rock hadn't done anything good for my back, but I needed the sleep.

"A while," Miles said. I could tell he'd pulled an all-nighter, but I was thankful. I had to remember to thank him sometime for everything that night.

"Well… let's move," Sawyer said, standing up and picking up his rifle.

**Alright, I should really get off my laptop for a while and enjoy the company of people haha! Only two more episodes before season 4 ends!**


	75. There's No Place Like Home Part 1

**Alright, everyone! We're at the finale of season four! I can't believe it! So another author on fanfiction gave me an idea, but I'm only gonna do it if you all want me to, so here it is: would you want a facebook page where I could update when I was writing, get ideas and feedback from you guys, maybe upload pictures of what original characters look like, etc. Would you guys want something like that? You could get to know me, the author, and I could get to know all my readers! It's totally up to you, so leave a review if you would like something like this, and let me know! Anyway, more importantly: There's No Place Like Home (Part 1).**

We walked through the jungle quickly. Sawyer held his rifle carefully in front of him, seeming evermore protective now that Claire was gone. Miles led the way, whacking branches out of his way. I walked between the two, holding Aaron carefully in my arms. My arms were tired from holding him; I realized how Claire must have felt when we went on these long hikes. Aaron was surprisingly quiet and calm for the situation. I started to recognize my surroundings, passing important places from the island's past. We walked close to a creek and I stopped, surveying the area with my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer asked me quietly, as if I saw someone in the trees. In my mind's eye, I could see someone, but he wasn't really there. It was in this exact clearing that a man kidnapped me. The day that Michael ran off from the hatch, a man with dirty clothes and black hair wrestled me to the ground and bound and gagged me, taking me to be used as a bargaining chip for guns.

"Nothing," I said, walking forward again. I suddenly felt uncomfortable at the memory. I remember the man saying 'don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you.' It was something no other 'other' had said to me. As we continued walking forward, I remembered another thing. When the man handed me over to Tom, I remembered him saying he was sorry. He was sorry, and he'd find me again someday. I didn't remember ever seeing his face again, but it was still troubling.

"Hey, long time, no see," I heard Miles say up ahead of us. I quickly moved forward with Sawyer, who held his gun at the ready.

"Hey, who the hell you talkin' to up there, Genghis?" Sawyer asked angrily. I held Aaron close to me in anxiety. As we rounded the corner, Jack and Kate came in to view, holding guns at the ready. A wave of relief and shame overcame me; I was glad to see them, but so ashamed that I was the one holding Aaron, and not Claire.

"Where's Claire?" Kate asked as Sawyer and I moved forward together.

"We lost her," Sawyer said ashamedly.

"You what?" Jack asked.

"She just walked off in the middle of the night. We looked for her for a day, but she was just gone," Sawyer sadly explained. "I was hopin' maybe she went back to the beach?"

"She didn't," Jack said, bending over and grabbing his knees. I bounced Aaron worriedly in my arms. She was gone. Aaron seemed to read my thoughts and started crying.

"Well, what are ya'll doin' out here? What's that phone for?" Sawyer angrily asked, changing the subject.

"The chopper flew over the beach. Someone tossed this out. It must've been Sayid," Jack explained, standing upright again. I could see there was a small wet stain near Jack's hip on his shirt. It looked like a blood stain.

"Well, you better hope it ain't Sayid… 'cause if he's with those animals that just blew up half of New Otherton, you do not want to tussle with 'em," Sawyer said, looking warningly at Jack.

"They tried to kill you?" Kate asked, looking from Sawyer to me.

"Just like Locke said they would," Sawyer answered.

"So… what, we're supposed to just… turn around and hide? 'Cause it seems like that didn't work so well for you," Jack said slowly through hurried breaths.

"I'm sorry, Doc, maybe this is déjà vu, but didn't you just do the whole 'run through the jungle with a walkie' plan?" Sawyer angrily asked.

"That helicopter is our only way off the island!" Jack yelled. Aaron started crying louder over Jack's yells.

"What's with you an getting' off the island? You're like a damn broken record!" Sawyer yelled.

"Stop it!" Kate yelled, looking to Aaron and taking him from my arms. I might've been offended at her insistence to take him if my arms hadn't been so tired. "Are you two fightin' each other now?"

"Look… I put Sayid and Desmond on that chopper. It was my call… it's my responsibility. I'm going after it whether they're on it or not. You can all head back to the beach," Jack said, turning and walking on. Wait… Desmond? And Sayid? They left the island?

"Jack… no, no, no, you can't go by yourself!" Kate called after him, holding Aaron close to her chest.

"Take care of the baby. Okay?" Jack turned to her. I watched after Jack as he started walking off into the jungle alone. I quickly looked to Sawyer with worry and distress in my eyes. We couldn't let him go alone. Besides, I wanted to talk to him about Desmond and Sayid. Sawyer closed his eyes in annoyance then looked up.

"That son of a bitch is stubborn," Sawyer said, holding his gun in his hand and walking past Kate. I pulled my handgun out of the back of my jeans and followed. "Hold up! You don't get to die alone!" Sawyer sarcastically said as he followed. I followed close behind Sawyer until Miles said something.

"Carmen, wait," He started, but I only briefly looked over my shoulder.

"Go back with Kate!" I called, keeping close to Sawyer. I stuck close to Sawyer as we moved forward quietly, catching up to Jack. As soon as we were close, I began walking next to Jack. "You said… Jack, you said Desmond and Sayid, they left on the helicopter?" I asked. Jack kept looking ahead of him, seeming to want to avoid the subject. "Jack, are they on the freighter?" After a brief pause, Jack answered.

"Yeah… yeah, they left a while back," He said. I wanted to ask more, but he probably didn't know any more. I walked a little slower, hanging back to walk with Sawyer.

* * *

For quite a while, we walked in silence. Only the beeping of the satellite phone and the sounds of our feet crushing branches and leaves made noise. I looked carefully at Jack's gait. He was walking funny, and I had a feeling it had something to do with the blood stain on his shirt. I leaned towards Sawyer as we walked.

"What's up, San Diego?" He asked quietly, realizing I had something I wanted to tell him discreetly.

"There's a blood stain on Jack's shirt," I answered in a hushed whisper. Sawyer stood up straight and looked over to Jack, noticing the same funny walk that I did.

"You cut yourself shaving?" Sawyer joked.

"Juliet took out my appendix a couple of days ago," Jack answered, looking down at the satellite phone.

"She what?" I asked in disbelief.

"Your kiddin' me," Sawyer answered.

"Nope," Jack said. He almost sounded annoyed at our conversation. It had been the first time I'd seen him since our group split. It was good to see him.

"Well, what else did I miss?" Sawyer asked. Jack stopped suddenly, staring down at his phone. He looked around, as if he was misreading the map on the phone. Then we heard the sounds of scraping metal. I turned to my right to see, through a veil of tree branches, a helicopter.

"We're here," Jack whispered. We crouched down and approached the helicopter. We all split up; Sawyer moving to the far left, Jack to the far right, and I in the middle, crouching down as low as I could in the tall grass. I could see an arm reaching up from the floor of the helicopter towards the ceiling. "Lapidus!" Jack yelled. A small metal box on the floor of the helicopter slid out of the way to reveal a messy gray haired man; the same man who helped us in the jungle when Keamy was heading our way.

"Yeah!" Lapidus yelled back. Jack ran forward, and I stood up.

"You know this yahoo?" Sawyer angrily yelled to Jack, still hiding behind a rock.

"Yeah," Jack muttered quietly.

"Yahoo?" Lapidus yelled back to him.

"Sawyer, it's okay," I said to him. Sawyer stood up and hurried over to the chopper. "He's the guy that helped us when the mercenaries were coming." Sawyer moved forward and recognized Lapidus' face, calming a little.

"Yeah. This yahoo saved your life! And this yahoo dropped that phone on you guys so you could find me, and I could fly you outta here," Lapidus said, standing up outside of the chopper. His wrist was handcuffed to the helicopter seat. "So why don't you do me a favor and… get that back compartment. There's a toolbox. See if you can find something to get me out of these things." I looked to Sawyer, waiting for him to move towards the back compartment.

"You heard the man," Jack said, instructing Sawyer to move.

"Well, alright. Can I get you boys a nice cold glass of lemonade while I'm back there?" Sawyer sarcastically asked.

"Where are Desmond and Sayid?" Jack asked. I looked up at Jack quickly.

"Your buddies were smart enough to keep their asses on the boat, 'cause right now, that's the safest place to be. Because when the boys I brought over here come stompin' out of the jungle, you're gonna wanna be long gone," Lapidus answered, taking a sip of water.

"Where'd they go?" Jack asked.

"They're up by some greenhouse. Perched up there, waitin' to snatch Linus," Lapidus said, putting down his water bottle and starting to dig through the toolbox.

"Soon as we cut you free, you'll be able to fly us out of here?" Jack asked.

"Hell, yeah," Lapidus answered, a happy smile on his face.

"Hang on, Shaggy," Sawyer intervened. "You said the hit squad's gonna grab Ben Linus?"

"I don't see what's gonna stop 'em," Lapidus answered.

"What are they gonna do with the people that are with him?" Sawyer asked. Suddenly I remembered; Hurley was with Ben. Locke was, too, but I was really only concerned for Hurley's sake.

"Nothing good," Lapidus answered Sawyer.

"Oh no," I muttered to myself, looking to Sawyer.

"Hugo's with Ben," Sawyer said to Jack.

"Son of a bitch," Jack replied.

"I'm goin' after 'im," Sawyer said, turning and hurrying away.

"Sawyer, wait up," I started, but Jack hurried around the helicopter to me.

"Carmen, wait," He said, hurrying in front of me to block my path. "You stay here with Frank. I'll go." With that, he hurried off quickly with Sawyer. I looked down at my feet, angry that I couldn't do anything to help. I turned back to Frank and put my gun in the back of my pants.

"You sure you know how to use that?" Frank asked me as he tried to force open the handcuffs with a screwdriver, nodding towards my hand holding the gun.

"Yeah. I'm sure," I said, almost laughing at his doubt in me.

"How old are you?" He asked me. I sat down on a rock near the helicopter.

"Sixteen," I said. I pulled the gun back out of the back of my jeans as it was poking into my lower back. I held the gun in front of me, resting my elbows on my knees. He laughed a little, but it wasn't a happy laugh; more of a distressed, happy-go-lucky laugh.

"That's awful," Frank said. I furrowed my elbows and fidgeted my feet.

"What is?" I asked.

"You learning to use a gun… at such a young age. Guess crashing on an island can do that to ya," He said, sighing out a 'damn it' as the screw driver slipped out of place. I giggled under my breath. "What?"

"I learned how to use a gun long before I came here," I said, looking around at the threatening palm trees.

"Why?" He asked quietly. I could hear that he'd stopped fidgeting with his handcuffs. I looked over at him to see him curiously looking back at me.

"Long story," I said, turning to look in the direction Sawyer and Jack left in.

"What did you say your name was?" Frank asked after a brief pause. I turned back to him and offered him my hand.

"Carmen," I answered, shaking his hand. "I meant to thank you for saving us a few days ago in the jungle." He nodded.

"Don't mention it," He answered. "So are you going?" He asked me. I looked carefully into his face.

"Going where?" I asked.

"After Jack. And that other friendly guy," Frank said. I smiled a little, looking through the trees. Jack and Sawyer were long gone, but I could catch up if I booked it.

"Are you sure it's alright?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah… I'm not goin' anywhere," He answered, smiling and looking down at his handcuffs. I laughed a little and stood up.

"Thanks, Frank," I said, putting my hand softly on his back.

"Don't mention it," He answered with a worried half-smile. With that, I turned and hurried in the direction Jack and Sawyer left in.

* * *

I had been hurrying quickly through the trees and branches, attempting to catch up with Jack. After twenty minutes, I stopped myself. I was sweating and panting horribly. I should've caught up with them by now. They must've gone off in some other direction. I looked down at the ground. I was still following footprints. Why hadn't I caught up to them yet? I didn't…

A ticking noise sounded behind me, like a bird chirping rapidly in an open space, echoes following. I knew it was no bird, though. I turned around quickly, looking for something to indicate which way I should run. I looked around, terrified, holding my gun at my side, knowing it was useless. I heard the sound of ticking directly in front of me, introducing the sound of a low grunt and a loud thumping. A small black tuft of smoke slithered through the trees, only about a hundred feet in front of me. I turned around and sprinted through the trees, not waiting until it came my way to run. I looked back occasionally, looking for it. I hadn't seen it again, but I wasn't about to wait until I could. I kept sprinting through the jungle, desperately jumping over logs, and ducking under low branches. I looked back over my shoulder as I kept running to see if I could catch sight of it, when I heard the ticking of metal in front of me. I stopped abruptly and faced forward, and I'm not sure if what confronted me was better or worse than what lie behind me. The team of mercenaries stood in front of me, aiming their guns at me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop! Don't shoot, don't shoot!" I yelled in a flustered hurry, throwing my arms in the air.

"Drop the gun!" The man in front, Keamy, yelled. I looked up to see my gun still in my right hand. I lowered my arm and threw it away in front of me. I looked up again to see Ben, his wrists bound in front of him. Keamy moved forward and picked up my gun, putting it somewhere around the back of his waist. He then moved forward to me. "On the ground," He instructed. I started to slowly lower myself to the ground, but he pushed me down quickly.

"Okay," I stammered out, putting my hands instinctively on the back of my head, but turning to look behind me, afraid the smoke monster was waiting to round a corner.

"Who are you?" Keamy asked, aiming his big gun at me.

"I'm, uh, my name is Carmen. I'm a survivor of the Oceanic 815 plane crash," I panted out. He looked back behind me, then back down at me.

"Why were you running?" He asked.

"There was, I… that thing that attacked you people?" I asked, turning back to the jungle, then back to Keamy. "That… black smoke? It was… back there," I panted out, still terrified. Keamy looked behind me.

"You said your name is Carmen? Carmen Jameson?" Keamy asked me. I looked up at him. How did he know my last name? It then occurred to me that Miles told me I was on his list of noted people. I nodded in exasperation. He grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me up. He pulled something out of his side pocket: a black, plastic tie. He put it around my wrists and tightened it, officially making me his prisoner. "Let's move!" He said to the men around him. He was quieter than I expected; probably because he feared the cloud of black smoke that lingered nearby in the jungle. He pushed me forward and kept me close. I didn't say anything for fear of them using aggression, but I turned back to Ben in fear and worry. He calmly looked ahead of him, intent to show no anxiety. "Face front," Keamy instructed me, pulling on my arm roughly. I continued forward, terrified.

**Oh no! There's gonna be a lot of intensity in the finale of this season, obviously! Hopefully I'll have it written by the end of this week! Talk to you soon! Remember to review!**


	76. There's No Place Like Home Part 2

**It's already the last episode of season four! Isn't that crazy? Alright, enough blabbering: There's No Place Like Home (Part Two).**

I marched at a steady pace. Every once in a while, I looked to my left to see Keamy staring in front of him, holding his gun close to his chest. I assumed he didn't kill me because of what Miles said; because I was on their 'list.' I started thinking about the list Michael was given when we were kidnapped by the others. I was tired of finding my name on a list. I wanted to know why my name was on this list, but I was afraid to talk, for fear that I wasn't important enough to keep alive if I became an annoyance. But I had to ask.

"It's Keamy, right?" I asked. He turned his head to look at me and smirked a little.

"How'd you know that?" He asked, looking back ahead of him. It wasn't a serious question... more like he was playing around.

"The same way I know I'm on a list," I said, cautiously looking down at my feet. I was trying to sound infinitely more confident than I was, but I had a feeling I was failing. He turned again to look at me, his jaw tight and strong. He looked over my face and smirked again, looking ahead of him.

"Ah… so you know why we've been instructed to extract you, too?" Keamy asked, although it sounded more like a statement. I didn't want to admit to not knowing something, so my thoughts reeled, searching for an answer that made sense. The only thing I could think of was because of my parents. Maybe the people who sent the freighter had some kind of connection with my parents, and they were paying for them to look for me, too.

"Because I'm a runaway," I stated confidently. Keamy stopped completely and turned his body towards me, everyone behind us stopping as well.

"You're a runaway?" Keamy asked, smirking still. I guess I was wrong. He chuckled a little to himself and grabbed my left arm, pulling me along with him. "So why'd you run away from home?" I didn't answer. I was more afraid now that I was in the dark again. "Your mommy and daddy beat you?" I kept my mouth shut and my face forward. I could feel Keamy looking at me, and I could feel his smirk creeping over his face.

"What about your family?" I asked him, still facing forward. I remembered, when these men stormed the barracks, Ben spewed off a bunch of information about Keamy's family. Something about a wife, and two little kids. With that, Keamy grabbed my arm more tightly and moved closer to Ben.

"Take her," He said to one of the men with guns behind him, pushing me back. The man simply kept his hands on his gun and walked alongside me, like Keamy had done before.

"So tell me something, Ben," Keamy said, walking on Ben's right. "What is it that makes you so important, hm?" When Keamy didn't get an answer, he pushed more. "I'm curious… I'm curious as to why Mr. Widmore would pay me so much money just to capture you and bring you back alive?" Ben stopped abruptly; so abruptly that I almost ran into him.

"Did Charles Widmore tell you to kill my daughter?" Ben asked. I looked to Keamy's face and could see a look of regret on his face, although he was trying to hide it. I heard the sounds of metal being shifted around. I looked up ahead of us and around some trees to see Lapidus trying to break his cuffs.

"Hey!" Keamy yelled angrily. He grabbed the plastic tie that was around my wrists and pulled me forward with him towards the helicopter. "How'd he get the toolbox?" He asked the men around him. He quickly walked over to the chopper and stood in Lapidus' face. "Who gave you the toolbox, Frank?" Keamy asked threateningly.

"Who, uh…"

"Hey!" Keamy yelled in his face, angry and trying to get an answer. Lapidus made eye contact with me, and I just stared back, hoping he'd say nothing about Jack and Sawyer. Suddenly the sounds of rustling foliage came from the woods on the other side of the chopper. Keamy pushed me down onto the ground in front of him. I looked up nervously at Frank, who gave me an expression of concern and worry. I looked back out at the tall grass in front of me to see someone emerge at a running pace. It was Kate. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just stay right there," He said, looking Kate over. I sat up, worried for Kate.

"I'm Kate… I'm one of the passengers of flight 815," She said between sharp breaths.

"Why are you running?" Keamy asked.

"I'm being chased… by his people," Kate said, pointing to Ben. Keamy slowly lowered his gun and pointed in different directions.

"Kocol! Lacour! Redfern on flank," He said, speaking in some kind of code I didn't understand. Keamy moved forward and grabbed Kate, pulling her by the wrist closer to Ben. "Get on your knees. Hands above your head, all of you," He instructed all of us. I did as he said, but kept low. This wasn't going to end well. Ben's men had come back for him, and I hadn't seen them fail at any endeavor yet. I could suddenly hear whispers, their whispers, all around me. Keamy turned, holding his gun tight to him, and looking in all directions of the whispers. I lowered my arms a little, trying to see where the others were. Suddenly I heard rapid gunfire in the woods, and it abruptly stopped. Keamy turned towards the sound of gunfire. "Now! Spray it!" Keamy screamed. Everyone's guns were firing towards the trees. I dropped myself to the ground, my hands covering the back of my head.

"Carmen! You okay?" I heard Frank yell to me from above me. I assumed he'd jumped back into the chopper for protection.

"Yeah!" I screamed back nervously. I looked up briefly to see one of Keamy's men drop to the ground. Keamy turned and ran back towards me, jumping over a rock just behind me and taking cover behind it from the gunfire ahead of us.

"Run!" I heard Kate scream. I looked up again to see Kate and Ben running together into the jungle. I stood up quickly, in attempts to run after them.

"Grenade!" Lapidus yelled, looking down in front of my feet. I looked down and had time only to see a black dot on the ground before someone pulled me back. Keamy threw me back to the ground and I looked up to see the grenade flying through the air again. Keamy pulled me behind the rock, and I heard the grenade explode. I stood up with Keamy. All of his men were dead.

"Come on," Keamy ordered through gritted teeth. He grabbed my wrist and ran, pulling me with him.

"Keamy, wait!" I heard Lapidus yell behind us, but he didn't stop. I was along for the ride now. I did my best to keep up with Keamy, but it was hard. I could see Ben and Kate in front of us, not too far away. I had to do something. I ran even faster, unsure of how I was able to do it, and I pushed my hands out in front of me, pushing Keamy, and myself, down a small slope. We rolled down, and I tried to quickly regain my awareness. Keamy pulled out his handgun, and I thrust my wrists upward at the gun, trying to keep it from aiming at me. He fired twice, and both times I blocked it, but not from myself. He was trying to shoot at someone behind me; Sayid. I pulled my leg to my chest and thrust it out into Keamy's chest, knocking him back. He dropped his gun. Sayid ran forward and picked it up, aiming it at Keamy. Keamy quickly kicked it out of his hands though. I tried to stand up, and one of them tripped over my leg as they ran for the gun, knocking me back down onto my stomach. I saw Keamy grab Sayid, and Sayid pull a knife out of Keamy's belt and stab it into his side. Keamy yelled in pain, but stopped Sayid from stabbing him again and beat him to the ground. I stood up as fast as I could, and by the time I was on my feet, Sayid had grabbed a branch and hit Keamy in the back of the knees with it. He hit him two more times with the branch, knocking him onto his back. Sayid went at him to hit him again with the branch, but Keamy grabbed it and flipped Sayid over him, onto his back. I ran and picked up the knife where they had dropped it on the ground and stabbed Keamy in the back. He yelled again, and I as I pulled the knife out of his back to stab him again, he got up and grabbed my wrist. He punched me in the stomach so hard I keeled over. He pulled the knife out of my hand and grabbed me around the stomach, holding the knife tight against my throat. I could feel it was already hot from Keamy's blood.

"That's it!" He yelled, holding me close against him and turning around. "I've got her! You kill me, I kill her!" He yelled. I didn't know why he thought this was such a good defense. "Come out!" He screamed. I breathed quickly and nervously against his knife. He held me tight against his chest, so that I could feel the material of his shirt against the back of my head and shoulders. "It's over!" He screamed. I heard three shots ring through the air, and my body felt numb. I fell backwards, Keamy's arm still tight around my waist. I hit the ground hard, but it didn't hurt. I felt Keamy's grip on me loosen. I grabbed the hand that held the knife to my neck and I pushed it away. I then quickly sat up, looking down at Keamy's face, which was expressionless and motionless. I looked behind me to see a man holding a gun at his side. It was the man with black hair. The man who had kidnapped me once before.

"Are you alright?" I heard Sayid ask. I turned to him, then back to the man with black hair.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine," I said. Kate ran over to me and Sayid.

"You okay?" She asked, breathless.

"Yeah," I said as Sayid helped me up. I quickly looked back over to the man with black hair. He moved forward slowly. Ben hurried to him.

"Thank you for coming, Richard," Ben said.

"My pleasure," Richard answered, holding eye contact with Ben, then looking back at me.

"He's the man who kidnapped me," I said quietly. Kate looked at me, as if questioning if all of the people around us hadn't at one time tried to kidnap us. "The day Michael went missing, and they used us to trade for the guns… he's the one who grabbed me," I said, pointing to Richard.

"Yes, that was me. I didn't mean to scare you," He said, holding a reassuring hand out to me. I backed up closer to Sayid, confused at who was my enemy: the man who held me at knife-point, or the man who'd saved me. Kate held the knife in her hands and cut the tie between my wrists.

"Could you cut me free, Kate?" Ben asked, approaching us and holding his wrists out in front of him. Kate hesitantly walked over and cut the plastic tie holding his wrists. As she cut the ties, Ben turned to Richard. "What was the arrangement?"

"They, uh, help us free you, we'd let 'em off the island," Richard said, looking to Sayid.

"Fair enough. The helicopter is yours, you, Carmen and Sayid have a safe journey back," Ben said to Kate, turning and walking away.

"So we can go?" Kate asked nervously, stopping Ben in his tracks. "Off the island… that's it?"

"That's it," Ben said. He began to walk away again. I turned to Sayid and smiled a little, excited at the prospect of getting away from all this. We began to start back towards the chopper.

"Wait, wait, uh… that's not it," Someone said behind us. I turned to see Richard, standing forward from everyone else. "Carmen, we won't make you stay, but just think," He said to me, "Don't you feel like leaving this island is the wrong thing to do?" I looked at Richard, curious at what he was playing at. "Carmen… you're different, you're special. You're not supposed to leave this island, Carmen." I stared into Richard's face, confused. "All I ask is that… you think twice before getting on that helicopter." With that, he turned around, and they all walked away. I wanted to ask questions, I wanted to stop them and ask them what made me special, and what made me different, but… I didn't know what to say. Kate put her hand on my shoulder after a long silent moment.

"Let's go," She said. I turned quickly, snapping myself out of my trance and we walked back up the slope towards the chopper. I could feel their eyes on me while we walked up, but I wanted to change the subject.

"How did you get back from the boat?" I asked Sayid. I knew Frank didn't fly him back.

"A small zodiac raft. Juliette is on the beach now, taking groups back to the freighter," Sayid answered as we moved up the hill. I didn't want to ask my next question, but I felt obligated to.

"Is Desmond back, too?" I asked. After a brief pause, he answered.

"No… he stayed on the freighter," He answered. It's not that I didn't care to know where Desmond was, it's just that I felt like he wasn't who he was when I met him. No longer was he the man he was… when he was my friend, he cared about other people more. He'd save Charlie's life time and time again, because he cared. Once we found Naomi, he just became more selfish, and more concerned with getting off the island. I knew it was because he wanted to get back to Penny, but I just couldn't see eye to eye with him. Maybe it was because I was jealous of her, that she had him; maybe I was jealous of him, that he was in love with someone; or maybe it was because… I was different. My thoughts jumped back to Richard. Suddenly, we were back at the chopper.

"Hey!" Lapidus called to us. "You okay?" He asked, specifically looking at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said.

"The blood," He said, pointing to my neck. I rubbed my skin and looked at my hand to see a smudge of dried blood from where the bloody knife touched my skin.

"Don't worry… it's not my blood," I said. Kate moved forward to Frank.

"Any luck picking that lock?" She asked him. He shook his head. As Kate moved to help him pick the lock, I moved to the rock Keamy was hiding behind and sat down on it, thinking. What was Richard trying to say? I thought about all the things he said about me: that I was special, and different, and needed to stay. I tried to understand it, but I didn't know what he meant. Then I thought about what he asked me to do: he asked me if I thought that leaving was the wrong thing to do. The more I thought about getting on that helicopter, the more I hesitated.

"Sayid!" I heard from the field beyond. I looked up to see Hurley. "Kate! Carmen!" I got up from the rock and walked over to him a little. He moved to Sayid first and they hugged. "Good to see you, dude." I moved forward to him.

"Hurley, thank God," I smiled. He hugged me tight.

"Glad you're okay," Hurley smiled. I saw Sawyer and Jack behind him.

"He say something to tick you off, freckles?" Sawyer asked, a little out of breath.

"I didn't kill that one," Kate said, moving away from Frank.

"Well, which one did you kill?" Sawyer asked, looking at the dead bodies. I could hear Jack and Kate talking in low voices, but I didn't listen in. I kept falling back into my thoughts. "Hey Kenny Rogers. What you trying to do there? Pick a lock?" Sawyer asked Frank.

"You got a better idea?" He asked. Sawyer reached into the toolbox and pulled something out.

"Hacksaw?" He said.

"For the handcuffs, right?" Lapidus asked. Sawyer didn't reply. He took a wrench out and put it between Frank's wrist and the cuff and started on the cuffs, Frank nervously watching.

"Sayid, how'd you get back?" Jack asked.

"I took the zodiac from the freighter," He answered.

"Is it safe? A body from the boat washed up on the beach," Jack asked.

"It's safe now," Sayid said. I knew he meant Keamy.

"Alright!" Frank yelled, rubbing his free wrist. "Let's get the hell out of here!" With that, Frank climbed up into the helicopter cockpit. The helicopter started whining.

"Let's go, Freckles. I've seen enough of this rock," Sawyer said, waiting for Kate to climb in. He then looked to me. "Come on, San Diego." I stood still and looked around at the jungle. I couldn't. I'd made my decision.

"I'm not going," I said. The helicopter started to get louder.

"What?" Sawyer yelled, coming over to me. I shook my head and looked around at the jungle.

"I can't go," I said louder.

"Carmen, you can't stay!" Jack yelled out at me from the helicopter.

"Is this because of what the others said?" Kate yelled out to me. Sawyer looked down at me.

"Who said what?" He yelled angrily. I shook my head. My hair began to fly back behind me from the chopper.

"It doesn't matter! I just, I can't go!" I yelled to Sawyer. He looked down at me in distress. "Sawyer, I promise, I'll go back to the beach, and when the last zodiac leaves, I'll be on it! I just… I can't leave now!" I yelled. He looked from the chopper back to me.

"Then I'll stay with you!" He yelled. I shook my head.

"No! Go, I'll be there soon! I promise!" I yelled. He looked down at me, distressed. "Sawyer, I promise! Go!" I yelled. He hugged me tightly to him, then hurried on to the chopper. I watched as the chopper rose into the air. I felt a tear fall out of the side of my eye as I watched it disappear of the tree tops. I didn't know if I'd really leave… I didn't know if I'd keep my promise. I went over to one of the bodies on the ground and pulled a pistol out of a holster on one of their belts, then hurried back in the direction of the beach.

* * *

Finally, I reached the beach. People were standing around the small kitchenette, relaxing. I could see the red-headed woman we'd once captured, Bernard, Rose, Juliette…

"Carmen," I heard. I looked to my right to see Miles, hurrying over to me. I smiled a little.

"Hey," I answered.

"Where's everyone else?" He asked.

"On the chopper," I said. He looked into the sky, then back down at me.

"And why aren't you?" He asked. I shrugged and shook my head, my thoughts reeling for an excuse. He smiled at me. "Oh."

"What?" I asked.

"You aren't leaving. Are you?" He asked. He seemed to already know the answer. I smiled and looked around myself.

"Not yet at least," I replied, walking away. I moved closer to Juliette, who watched me with a smile.

"It's good to see you," She said calmly. Juliette was a different woman, now. She was one of us. I felt bad for hating her so much early on, but I couldn't change that now.

"It's good to see you, too," I said, stopping in front of her. I slowly moved close to her and put my arms around her, holding her in a tense hug. She hugged back, and while it felt a little awkward, I also felt reassured. "Why are you still here?" I asked her.

"I've been making sure everyone's been getting off safely on the zodiac," She said. I smiled and nodded. "Jin and Sun are already on the boat."

"Good," I smiled.

"Here," She said, holding a water bottle out to me. I grabbed it from her hands and took a sip. That sip turned into a gulp, and the gulp consumed all the water in the bottle. "Thirsty?" She laughed. I took the empty bottle from my lips and took a breath.

"Yeah," I answered, quickly breathing. I thought I heard a pop in the air. I looked around, and out at the water, searching for the source. I didn't like what I found. I dropped the bottle into the sand and moved forward, staring out at the water. "Jul… Juliette!" I yelled, not wavering in my gaze. I felt her move next to me. "Is that… is that the boat?" I asked, feeling tears rise in my throat and my voice crack.

"No…" Juliette said. It wasn't an answer to my question… just a quiet plea for it not to be true. The boat was gone. A pillar of smoke had taken its place. Everyone on the freighter was gone… Desmond, Sayid, Sun, Jin, Kate… Sawyer… I brought my hands to my cheeks as tears flowed from my eyes.

"How old are you?" I heard Juliette ask me. I turned to her, almost angry she'd ask me something as silly as that now. That's when I realized she was holding a bottle of rum in her hand. I silently followed her down the beach. We sat down together in the sand, and she opened the bottle. She took a long swig, then offered it to me. I took the bottle silently and tilted it back, letting the bitter, sour rum into my mouth. It burned going down my throat, but I didn't stop drinking it. When I finally pulled the bottle from my lips, I felt a wave of nausea hit me, and more tears came streaming down my cheeks.

"Richard," I started through my cries, "Richard, he… he told me not to get on the helicopter, and I… I thought he meant that… I didn't know he thought… or maybe he knew that this would… would happen!" I cried, wiping my nose on my hand.

"Richard?" She asked me quietly.

"Uh huh," I nodded, looking down at my hands. "He told me I shouldn't leave, and… and I listened to him. It's like… it's like he knew this would happen!" I cried, flopping my wrists down on the ground. Juliette offered the bottle to me again. I shook my head. "No… I'm sorry. That's why I'm… I'm like this. Why I'm so hysterical," I said, wiping my eyes and trying to blame all of it on the alcohol. I knew I was a featherweight, but the rum couldn't have gotten to me that fast. I looked down into the sand, feeling at fault for telling Sawyer to get on the chopper when he'd offered to stay. I just wanted him to be safe… why didn't I do something? I thought I heard something in the water ahead of me, but I didn't look up. I wanted to get a hold on myself. I heard a man groan around me, but I didn't look up still.

"Carmen," Juliette said, bumping the bottle of rum into my knee.

"Ow," I said, looking at her, then up in front of us. I saw Sawyer, soaked from head to toe, walking up to us from the ocean.

"Nice day for a swim!" He called to us as he drew closer. I sat, staring at him in amazement. It took a moment, but I quickly got to my feet and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly and crying into his already wet shoulder.

"I thought you were dead," I cried.

"What?" He asked as if it was a silly thought.

"What're you doing here?" Juliette asked.

"Just thought I'd take a dip," He said, holding me around the waist. "Whatcha celebrating?"

"I'm not celebrating," Juliette answered. I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.

"The freighter..." I said. He shook his head, and I could see he was about to ask what was wrong. I looked out at the water behind him. He turned around to see the black smoke billowing from the freighter.

"Is that our boat?" He asked.

"It was," Juliette answered after taking another sip of rum. Sawyer sat down in the sand with us, exhausted. I sat next to him on the other side of Juliette, holding Boone's necklace around my neck. I held it tight, as if it might disappear at any moment. After a pause, I looked up at Sawyer.

"What happened?" I asked Sawyer. He looked down at me after taking a swig of rum.

"What?" He asked.

"What happened that made you jump out of the helicopter?" I asked. He looked down at his feet.

"We were low on gas… someone had to do something, otherwise…" Sawyer was cut short but an odd noise, like the sound of a weird mechanical thing warping the air. Juliette, Sawyer and I all turned around facing the center of the island, where the noise was coming from. Suddenly, a bright white light surrounded me, and the sound got louder and louder. I reached out for Sawyer, but I couldn't feel his hand. I put one hand over my eyes to hide myself from the light, and the other tightly around my necklace, as if all I could count on was Boone to come and save me from what was to come.

**You might have noticed that I didn't have flashforwards for Carmen, and that's because she wasn't in the Oceanic Six! We'll see what's to come for Carmen in season five soon!**


	77. Because You Left

**So guess what? Dual majoring is kind of difficult haha! I've been super busy, but I still get my LOST cravings, so I'm trying to write still! Alrighty, enough of me, you came for Carmen! Alright, here's the beginning of season 5: Because You Left.**

I opened my eyes slowly. The piercing metallic noise still rang in my ears, although it had ceased. The white light was gone, and I was left staring at the tree tops in the jungle. I stood quickly with Juliet and Sawyer, and we stood silently examining the jungle in front of us for a moment.

"What the hell was that?" Sawyer asked quietly.

"I don't know," Juliet answered, almost sounding afraid.

"Where's the freighter?" Sawyer asked. I turned around and looked to the ocean. What used to be billowing black smoke on the horizon was now gone. Just a calm blue sky.

"Maybe it went down…" Juliet answered, but I can tell she didn't believe herself.

"Uh-uh, no way. Minute ago, that boat was coughing black smoke, now there's just nothing?" Sawyer asked. I stared out at the water, searching for an explanation.

"What about the helicopter?" Juliet asked, turning back to Sawyer. I turned back to face him.

"It was headed for that boat," Sawyer quietly answered.

"Rose!" I heard Bernard yelling from down the beach. "Rose!" He was screaming. He sounded terrified.

"Bernard!" Juliet called as she ran over to him. Sawyer and I followed.

"Rose! Have you seen Rose?" Bernard frantically asked.

"No," Juliet calmly replied.

"Oh my God… Bernard!" Rose screamed as she stumbled out of the jungle.

"Rose! Where were you?" Bernard asked, going to her and holding her arm.

"I was over… by the church. What was that sound? What was that light?" Rose asked, moving in close to Bernard.

"I don't know…" Bernard said, holding her close.

"Just calm down, there's no need to panic, alright? We'll go back to camp, figure this…" Sawyer started, but Bernard hysterically interrupted.

"Calm down? No need to panic? We can't go back to the camp!" He wildly said.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked nervously.

"There is no camp," Bernard answered sternly. I looked past him, down the beach towards camp. I looked nervously to Sawyer, then tore past Rose and Bernard to where camp was. I looked around confusedly. Where our kitchenette and makeshift homes once stood now was a wooded, foliage infested area. All of our things were gone.

"The, the sky lit up… and then this. The… the kitchen… gone! And, and all the tents. All the food and water; gone. Well everything but us. All of it… it's gone," Bernard explained in terror behind me. I made eye contact with Miles, who looked just as confused as I was.

"It's not gone!" A man yelled behind me. I turned around to see a scrawny, pale man with longer brown hair and a beard hurry up the beach to us, wearing a dirty dress shirt and a tie.

"Daniel!" Charlotte yelled, running forward to him. I assumed he must've been on the team with her and Miles. "I thought you were on the freighter."

"No, we never made it. We were on our way out there when it happened," he answered, looking Charlotte square in the eyes, his hands resting assuredly on her shoulders.

"What do you mean 'the camp's not gone?' Who the hell are you, anyway?" Sawyer asked. I could sense the hostility in his mood. I came up behind him, partially to calm his nerves, but also to investigate Daniel.

"It's Dan," Miles called out behind me. "He's our physicist."

"Listen, we have no time. I need you to take me to something man-made. Something that was built. Any kind of a landmark," Daniel said, looking specifically to Juliet.

"There's a Dharma station fifteen minutes from here," She said.

"You mean the hatch?" Sawyer asked, stepping forward. "The one we blew up?"

"That's perfect. We should get moving before it happens again, okay?" Daniel said. He began to move past Sawyer when he caught him by the arm.

"Before what happens again?" Sawyer asked with a hostile look in his eyes. I wanted to avoid a fight, but Daniel seemed to know what was going on, and I wanted to know. I stepped closer to try to listen. "And why is our camp gone?" The look of primal anger in Sawyer's eyes heightened, but I could see what lie behind it; fear.

"Your camp isn't gone," Daniel explained. "It hasn't been built yet." Daniel walked past Sawyer, who stood confusedly in place. I walked past him and quickly caught up to Daniel.

"Can I come with you?" I asked him. He slowed to a stop and got a closer look at me.

"Um… how old are you?" He asked hesitantly. I snickered.

"29. Can I come?" I answered sarcastically. He nervously looked down at his feet.

"Um… I'm not sure it's such a good idea for you…"

"Dan, you may know Juliet, but you're just now getting the pleasure of meeting me and my friend Sawyer over there," I said, looking back to Sawyer. "Now I'm _asking_ to come with. He, on the other hand, won't be so nice. So I think that if you really want this trip to the hatch to go smoothly, you're going to let me come." I usually wouldn't have been so hostile to someone I'd just met, but I was going to go. He wasn't going to stop me. He looked me in the eyes.

"We'll leave in just a minute, then," He said, moving ahead. I followed him with my eyes, then looked back at Sawyer, who looked back at me in an angry worry.

* * *

I walked behind Daniel through the jungle. Sawyer led the way to the hatch. I did try to persuade him to stay back, seeing as he lost his shoes and shirt whilst swimming to shore, but he couldn't be swayed. In all honesty, if I were him, no one could've convinced me either. Charlotte walked quietly behind me, and Miles followed up the group. Daniel hurried past me and mumbled something to Juliet and Sawyer as he passed them, tromping ahead.

"First thing's first," Sawyer said, stopping in front of Daniel. "Gimme your shirt." I frowned as I moved forward to Juliet's side.

"My shirt?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah."

"I really think we have… far more pressing matters than me giving you a shirt," Daniel replied. "Why don't we just keep moving, okay?"

"How 'bout we call a time-out so you can tell us what the hell's goin' on?" Sawyer bitterly asked.

"How 'bout you trust me?" Daniel asked in a near demanding tone.

"Trust you? I don't know you!" Sawyer snidely snapped.

"We really do not have time for me to try to explain! You have no idea how difficult that would be, for me to try to explain this, this phenomenon, to a quantum physicist. That would be difficult, so for me to try to explain whatever's happening…" Sawyer interrupted Dan midsentence by slapping him. I moved forward a step nervously, but made eye contact with Juliet. She looked to me with eyes that said 'let it be.'

"Oy!" Charlotte yelled, moving forward. Juliet threw her arm out to try to stop her, but Charlotte tromped past her to Sawyer's side. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

"Shut it, Ginger, or you're gettin' one, too," Sawyer threatened her. With that, she backed off. "Now talk," He demanded, turning back to Daniel. Daniel looked nervously between him and Charlotte, seeming more willing to try to explain than to let Charlotte get hit.

"The island… think of the island like a record. Spinning on a turn table. Only now, that record is skipping. Whatever Ben Linus did down at the Orchid station, I think he may have… dislodged us," Daniel explained.

"Dislodged us from what?" Miles asked from my side. It was the first time I'd realized he was standing there.

"Time," Daniel stated. I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"So, that's why our camp is gone?" Juliet asked. "Because the island is moving through time?"

"Either the island is or we are," Daniel said.

"What?" Sawyer asked, seeming unable to grasp the concept that we were time travelling.

"It's just as likely that we're moving. Your people and us," Daniel said to Juliet, ignoring Sawyer. "Everyone in your group… you're all accounted for, right?" Daniel asked. With that, Juliet turned to Sawyer, who let out a tired sigh.

"Not everyone," He said with a slight shake of his head. "Locke." I looked out across the jungle, wondering where he could be. I placed my hand gently on Boone's necklace that rest on my neck for a sense of comfort. A noise slowly rose around me, and a bright white light came rushing at me. I shielded my eyes and lowered my head, trying to escape the warping noise, and it quickly disappeared, taking with it all light. My eyes took a moment to readjust to the darkness around me. It was night. We all shifted uncomfortably as we looked around us at what was exactly the same but completely different.

"Great," Sawyer said to himself. He turned to face Daniel. "So when are we know, whiz kid?"

"We're either in the past… or we're in the future," He answered. I looked between Sawyer and Miles, and we slowly continued forward towards the hatch.

* * *

We walked in silence for the rest of the way. Juliet and I led the group, Sawyer limping close behind. I pushed through foliage to see a gaping hole in the ground, where the hatch once was.

"Over here!" Juliet called back behind us. I crouched down at the edge of the crater.

"Is this the hatch?" Daniel quietly asked.

"It was," Sawyer answered. "Blown up. Just like we left it." Daniel crouched down on the other side of Sawyer.

"Okay. So when we are now… is now after you and your people crashed on the island," Daniel said.

"You sayin' our camp is back on the beach again?" Sawyer asked anxiously.

"It's possible, yeah," Daniel said.

"Good, I'm goin' back," Sawyer said, turning and starting away.

"Hey, no, no," Daniel said, standing and stopping Sawyer. "It's pointless."

"More pointless than starin' at a hole in the ground?" Sawyer asked.

"We don't know when the next flash is coming. By the time you get back to the beach, the camp could be gone again," Daniel explained.

"Yeah, but what if it ain't? Hell, what if the helicopter hasn't even taken off yet?" Sawyer asked. I looked up to him.

"We could warn them. Stop them from ever flying to that boat," Juliet suggested. Daniel looked at his feet and shook his head.

"That's not the way it works…"

"Who says?" Sawyer spitefully asked.

"We cannot change anything, we can't. Even if you tried to, it wouldn't work," Daniel said.

"Why not?" Sawyer snapped.

"Time… it's like a street, all right? We can move forward on that street, we can move in reverse, but we cannot ever create a new street. If we try to do anything different, we will fail. Every time. Whatever happened, happened," He explained. I could see if Sawyer's face that he wanted Dan to be wrong.

"How do you know so much about this, Danny boy?" Sawyer asked. Daniel took off his backpack.

"I know about this because I've spent my entire adult life studying space/time. I know all of this because this journal," he said, indicating one that he removed from his pack and held in his hand, "contains everything I've ever learned about the Dharma Initiative. This is why I'm here. I know what's happening."

"So how can we stop it," Sawyer said. I could hear the anger and desperation rising in his throat, but I said nothing.

"We can't stop it," Daniel said, shaking his head.

"Then who can?" Sawyer asked, more in control of his voice. Daniel looked around, and down to Juliet.

"I believe… John Locke may be able to," He said. Juliet looked reservedly up to me. I stood and looked up to the sky in a fit of frustration. Of course the one guy that could stop all this was M.I.A. We all stood around the crater, waiting for something to happen. I held my necklace and thought of Boone finding this place, the hatch, with John. How scary and weird it must've felt. Kind of like how things were now.

"So, what was this thing before you guys blew it up?" Miles asked after a brief silence.

"A Dharma station," Juliet explained.

"For what?" He asked.

"There was a man named Desmond living down in it," Juliet said. She continued on, but my thoughts stuck to the name Desmond. Through all the silly bickering and tormenting emotions, it was all useless. Desmond was gone now… he was dead… I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and grabbed my necklace, pretending to examine the crater while I regained control of my emotions. I could hear that faint, distant noise again, slowly, then quickening, enveloping me. I put my hands over my ears and pinched my eyes shut as the darkness around me turned to pure white light. And it all faded just as fast as it came. Sunlight lay over everything.

"Bitch…" Sawyer mumbled quietly. I looked around and noticed something had changed… the ground was solid. There was no crater where the hatch once was. Juliet must have noticed too, because she looked at the ground, hunting around for some evidence that the hatch was there. She suddenly knelt down and moved aside vines. I moved behind her quickly to see her brush dirt aside to reveal a metal door.

"The hatch, it's back," She said, slapping her hand down on it. "I guess you haven't found it yet," she said, looking between me and Sawyer. Sawyer stared down at the metal door for a moment, then hurried past Daniel and Charlotte.

"Hey! Where you goin'?" Miles called after him.

"Back door! I'm gettin' some supplies," He said, moving forward. I followed after him, the rest of the group following my lead.

"James," Daniel started, "Wait, not a good idea!"

"The sky can flash all it wants, but I ain't startin' over, Dilbert! I ain't rubbin two sticks together and startin' a fire, and I ain't huntin' damn boar! There's Dharma food… beer… and clothing in there. And I'm getting' Desmond to let me in one way or another!" Sawyer angrily yelled, tromping ahead. I slowed down a little; Desmond could be in that hatch right now. I wondered if he would open the hatch door... if I could see him again.

"That's not gonna work, my friend!" Daniel called to Sawyer. Most everyone had passed me as I slowed in the thickness of my own thoughts.

"Hey," Someone said over my shoulder, snapping me out of my trance. It was Miles. "You okay?" He asked. I feigned a tight smile and sped up, following close behind Charlotte.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered. Sawyer and Daniel were far ahead of our group. I hurried to Juliet's pace and walked at her side as we came up behind the two, who were obviously bickering at the back door of the hatch. Sawyer turned to the door and started banging on it.

"Wait…" I heard Daniel try to stop him, but Sawyer was in no mood.

"Open the damn door!" He yelled at the door.

"It won't work," Daniel tried to explain again.

"Sure it will. You open up! It's the ghost of Christmas future!" He yelled.

"No one is gonna answer," Daniel said, trying to softly persuade him away from the door.

"Open the damn door! Open the door!" Sawyer was screaming. He sounded so desperate and angry.

"You're wasting your time," Daniel softly explained.

"Open up, I know you can hear me!" He threatened the door.

"If it didn't happen, it can't happen!" Daniel yelled louder. Sawyer started jerking on the door handle. "You can't change the past, James!" Daniel screamed at him. Sawyer spun around quickly, grabbing Daniel by the shirt collar and holding him close. Initially, a look of fury and wrath seeped from Sawyer, but it softened… to regret.

"Everybody I care about just blew up on your damn boat," He said through gritted teeth. I felt my heart stop. I felt like I'd just been punched in the stomach. I felt winded, and my insides felt crippled and sick. _Everybody_ he cared about? "I know what I can't change." My vision grayed a little, and things felt hazy. I didn't see Juliet move forward, but I heard her suggest we head back to the beach. By the time my head cleared, we were all walking through the jungle on route back to the beach. I didn't even know how I got there; I didn't remember moving my legs. My body felt numb, and I felt nauseous. I wanted to stop and lean against a tree for support, but I didn't want to stop moving; I didn't even know if I could. We moved forward in silence, as if a veil of tension held our mouths shut and out tongues still. I realized that Daniel wasn't with us. I was curious as to where he went, but I didn't ask. We stayed silent until we reached the beach. People ran up to us, asking questions about what was going on. I stayed silent, and walked to the edge of the tide and sat down, holding Boone's necklace tightly in my hand.

**Ouch. That's all there really is to say, just… ouch. Anyways, I'll try to write again soon!**


	78. The Lie

**So after I posted, I got a bunch of messages about author alerts and reviews and subscriptions, and I just felt so flattered! Just to answer a question I got in the reviews, Carmen is sixteen right now. Still very young, but very mature for her age. Thank you all so much for reading and keeping up with the story. I love writing, and it can be very difficult to find time to write nowadays, so thank you for your patience with me. Anyways, here's The Lie!**

I sat on the shore, listening to the waves lapping on the shore and holding Boone's necklace in my clasped hands. I stared out at the ocean, watching the sun reflect off the rippling water. I had moved down the beach further from everyone else. Bernard and Rose had decided to try to make a fire, which I found to be a useless endeavor, seeing as the sky could light up any minute and it would be gone. There were enough pessimists around camp, though. I figured I shouldn't contribute to the conversation. I looked down the beach and saw Sawyer talking to Juliet. I didn't know what to say to him; of course I felt bad about what happened to the helicopter. Jack, Kate, Hurley… they were all gone. It was all so overwhelming that I hadn't cried yet. But now as I thought about it more and more, I felt tears welling in my eyes. Sun, Jin, Sayid… Aaron. Aaron was on the freighter. Aaron was gone. With that thought, the floodgates opened. I clenched my fists tighter around the necklace and pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face between my knee caps. I cried in silence for a moment, knowing that my family was gone. Most everyone I'd come to know and love on this island had left me; whether they were dead, or just didn't seem to care anymore, everyone I cared about on this island was gone. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

* * *

It took me a long time to calm down… probably an hour to an hour and a half. The sun had started to go down by then. No one came to comfort me, or even ask what was wrong. I didn't really want them to; it was just reaffirming that I had no one anymore. By the time the sun fell below the horizon and the sky turned dark, I still sat alone down the beach. My face felt soft from having been drenched by tears. After a while, Vincent came and laid down next to me. I pet him for a little while, and looked back down the beach to where everyone was. I decided that sulking wasn't going to do me any good, so I wiped my cheeks one last time, put my necklace back around my neck, and got up. Vincent got up with me and I walked back down the beach, Vincent running ahead excitedly. On my way back over, I heard Rose yell excitedly, and I looked to the ground in front of her to see small smolders of light. I then saw them quickly fade. I finally reached the group, and everyone was arguing.

"I thought you said you knew how to start a fire," Frogurt said.

"And I thought you said you didn't care," Rose said defensively.

"I care about surviving!" Frogurt angrily replied.

"I think you need to take a time out, Neil," Rose said his name as if it were a disgusting insect. He walked away, annoyed, and Rose continued to comfort and encourage Bernard. I stayed standing, watching Bernard rub sticks together in a futile effort for fire.

"Dinner!" I heard Miles shout suddenly. I looked up at the tree line to see him carrying a huge boar on his back.

"That's great! Wow, where'd you get that?" Bernard asked in shock while the rest of us stared.

"I found it," Miles said as he rested it on the ground. I furrowed my eyebrows in worry… if he found a dead boar, we probably shouldn't eat it.

"What do you mean 'you found it?'" Sawyer asked, walking to Miles' side.

"It died in the jungle, I found it," Miles repeated. "Don't worry, it's fine. It's only been dead three hours." Everyone looked to Miles in confusion. I understood… kind of… he must've used his weird sixth sense powers to find it.

"What?" Someone said.

"Who's got a knife?" Miles called out, dragging the boar back on the beach to skin it.

"A knife? You need a knife? Oh, it's over by the Cuisinart, next to the stove," Frogurt sarcastically said.

"What's your problem?" Miles asked, just as annoyed as all of us.

"My problem is… we don't have a knife! We don't have anything! And it wouldn't even matter if we did, 'cause Bernie the dentist can't even start a fire!" Frogurt spitefully snapped.

"Ease up there, Frogurt," Sawyer said.

"It's Neil! You inbred! And I'm not gonna ease up! 'Cause I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm screwed! We're all screwed…" Neil screamed.

"Calm down, Neil," Juliet insisted, having to go forward to stop Sawyer's angry advances towards Neil after his comment. "We're gonna get through this…"

"How are any of us gonna get through this? Did you hear what I just said? We can't even get fire!" Neil yelled, but everything stilled. A bright flame lit up on Neil's chest, and I realized it was burning on an arrow that now protruded from his body. I looked up into the sky to see what looked like hundreds of lightning bugs, but as they flew towards us, I could see that we were in big trouble.

"Run!" I heard Sawyer yell. I felt numb for a moment; I couldn't move. Someone grabbed my arm, and I was pulled away. "Split up! Everybody get to the creek!" I heard Sawyer yell, but I didn't know where he was. I was able to make out who was in front of me, pulling me along.

"Charlotte! Dan! Let's go!" Miles yelled, pulling me into the jungle. We kept running. I could hear people behind me, and after a while of running, we slowed. I couldn't hear anything but the chirping of crickets and our heavy breathing.

"What happened?" I finally whispered out. I was whispering because I was afraid someone may hear, but moreso because I wasn't able to breathe.

"I don't know…" Miles panted out.

"Where's… everyone else?" Daniel asked.

"We lost them… Sawyer yelled something about meeting at a creek," Miles answered. I stood up and put my hands on my hips, throwing my head back. A few other guys were with us, too, unable to catch their breath. I looked up at the sky, searching the stars for comfort. I didn't find any.

"Right, well… where to now?" Charlotte asked, seeming to direct her question at me. Everything was silent for a moment. I savored it, closing my eyes and letting it sink in to me. Then I looked ahead and around me, figuring out where we were.

"This way," I said. With that, I turned and headed through the trees.

* * *

The night laid heavy over us. Miles and I led the group, everyone else a bit further behind us.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"What?" Miles answered.

"Thanks," I repeated.

"Oh… no problem," He answered. We were silent as we moved forward. "You okay?" He asked a little quieter. I didn't know what he meant; about Sawyer, about the flaming arrows falling from the sky… there was a lot to not be okay about.

"Yeah," I answered quietly. I knew he knew otherwise, but now wasn't really the appropriate time for a pep talk. We stayed quiet a while, tromping through the jungle towards the creek.

**Short chapter, I know, but it was a short episode on the island's part, so… yeaaa. Anyways, enjoy your weekend!**


	79. Jughead

**Alrighty, I'm done with my homework for the weekend and am having a super lazy day- that mean's it's time for me to kick back, watch some LOST, and write for Carmen! YAY! Enjoy Jughead! (It's kind of a long episode, but it's important!)**

I stumbled over the tall grass towering over my ankles. I was exhausted; we'd been slowly making our way towards the creek all night.

"We must be lost…" Charlotte suggested.

"No. Carmen knows where she's going. He said meet at the creek. We're going to the creek," Miles said in my defense. I just kept my mouth shut. I knew where I was going, and I didn't feel the need to explain myself to Charlotte.

"Are you sure that's what he said?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah. Sawyer said to meet at the creek, so… unless he got torched by a flaming arrow that's where he and everyone else should be," Miles said. I was worried about Sawyer, but he'd always been fine before. He was probably at the creek already, annoyed that I wasn't already there. "You aren't lost, are you?" Miles whispered over my shoulder. I looked back at him, unaware that he was right behind me, and I smirked a little to myself.

"No," I answered. "No, I'm not lost."

"Well, good," He said a little louder. "Glad I'm not defending you for nothing." I smiled a little. He had an attitude like Sawyer's old attitude; wanting to come off as a badass, but you could tell he really cared. It was familiar, and almost comforting. "Then, uh… just wondering, but when are we gonna get there?" Miles asked. I laughed to myself because I knew we were here. I stepped forward silently and pushed aside a branch on a twiggy tree to see the creek, babbling in front of me. "Oh…" Miles quietly said. "Hey, we're here!" He called back to everyone. I stepped forward to the side of the creek and wet my face. No one else was here. I didn't know whether to be worried or not. It was a long creek; Sawyer could be anywhere along it. "Some rendezvous, it's just us," Miles said behind me. I could tell he wasn't talking to me.

"Well, we should probably wait, see if they show up. They could be right behind us," Daniel said. I wiped the water off my forehead and stood up, looking around myself.

"Yeah, or they came and left," Charlotte said.

"Or they're dead," Miles said quietly. I looked back at him. He was obviously talking to himself, but it didn't matter. I didn't know what to think about the situation, so I looked away from them and put my hands behind my head.

"Miles, that right there, that kind of attitude? Not exactly what we need right now. People are scared enough as it is. Miles…" Daniel stood in front of Miles, but Miles wasn't listening. I looked back at them and walked forward. Miles moved to the side to see where Brett and Sean were walking around a tree. He thoughtfully looked around. "Miles?" Daniel further asked, but Miles stayed quiet.

"Miles, what's wrong?" I asked, slowly walking up behind him. He suddenly jumped and thrust his hand out in front of him.

"Wait! Don't move!" He screamed to Brett and Sean. They turned back to look at him, and dirt flew up into the air around them. A loud boom exhumed from the area, followed by several others. Miles turned around, and looked at me in terror. "Get down!" He yelled as he tackled me. I fell down onto my side and rolled to my stomach as something exploded right next to me. I looked up slowly. Daniel lay on one side of me, nervously looking around, and Miles looked up slowly, nervous that another explosion would ring through the air. Everything was quiet, but only for a moment. Men came out of the jungle wearing camo green clothing, pointing bows and arrows at us. I stayed down on the ground and inched backwards, as if that would somehow save me. A young woman stepped forward with a gun and pointed it down at me.

"Who's in charge here?" She said in a thick British accent. I stayed silent. No one was in charge here. I opened my mouth to lie and say our leader was just exploded when Miles interjected.

"He is," Miles said, looking across me to Daniel. The woman stepped closer to him.

"You just couldn't stay away, could you?" She asked. Daniel didn't answer. I didn't understand what she meant, but I didn't know when we were either. "Tie them up," The woman said. With that, a man leaned over and pulled me up by my arm. He wrapped a binding around my wrists and shoved me to the side with Miles and Charlotte. I looked across the creek to see her men pulling Sean and Brett's bodies out of the water. "There were twenty of you at the beach, but only six of you here. Where are the rest of your people?" She angrily asked.

"Maybe they got blown up by some more of your land mines," Miles angrily answered for Daniel.

"We didn't put them here, you did," She spitefully replied. I looked nervously to Miles. I asked him with my eyes to stop talking; mouthing off to the lady with the gun probably wasn't the best strategy. He seemed to understand, and he looked down at the ground, quieting. "Once we leave here, I will be out of control of what happens to you. But if you cooperate now, things will be much easier for you. So where are the rest of your people?" Daniel shook his head.

"I don't know," He answered. She angrily lowered her gun.

"Let's move out," She quietly ordered, not removing her eyes from Daniel.

* * *

We walked silently through the jungle, a mob of their men surrounding us, preventing us from going anywhere. I walked beside Miles and behind Daniel. I looked ahead of me, trying to figure out where we were going. Suddenly, Miles started looking around him nervously.

"Miles?" I whispered. He snapped back to reality, and looked up to Daniel. He moved forward and I followed, keeping pace with him.

"Hey," He whispered.

"Yeah," Daniel answered a little louder. He'd obviously been immersed in his own thoughts.

"We just walked over a fresh grave," Miles answered.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Four U.S. soldiers… dead just under a month. Three of them were shot… one died of radiation poisoning," Miles said. I looked nervously to Daniel.

"Radiation poisoning?" I asked. Did that mean something was on the island that was possibly emitting radioactive waste or something?

"Miles, hey. Hey, did any of them happen to mention what year it is?" Daniel asked.

"We're here!" The girl with the gun hollered to us. We walked out from under the canopy of trees to see sunlight scattered over a valley filled with tents and palm trees. We moved forward at gun point. "Richard! We're back," She said. With the name Richard, I looked up eagerly. Richard… who told me to stay on the island? That Richard, I moved forward, ahead of Daniel and watched as a figure emerged from the tent in front of us. It was Richard… not only was it Richard, but he hadn't aged a day. He looked just the same now as he had when he shot Keamy and saved my life. He moved forward to us. "Caught these four by the creek… this one's their leader," The woman said, pointing to Daniel.

"Richard," I said quietly, stepping forward and drawing his attention. He stepped forward to me and looked me over.

"I'm sorry, have we met?" He asked. He didn't ask rudely, but he wasn't nice either. I stood in confusion… how could he not know me? He must have been travelling through time with us... how else could he be here now and be just the same as he was then?

"But… you…"

"How old are you?" He abruptly asked me. I quieted. He really didn't know me. I looked down at the ground in surprise. "Isn't she a bit young for recruitment?" He asked. He was obviously talking to Daniel now. I stayed quiet… I was so confused. "What's your name?" I looked up to see he was still talking to Daniel, and then looked back down again, humbled by my confusion.

"What's your name?" Daniel sweetly replied.

"My name's Richard Alpert. I assume you've come back for your bomb," He answered. I looked up abruptly. Bomb? Did he say bomb? I looked to Miles, who obviously shared my anxiety. We stayed silent though, letting Dan do the talking. Richard turned around and turned back to the young woman with the gun. "I need to finish something up here. Take them to a tent, I'll deal with them in a second." The woman looked to a couple of men, and they came forward and we were all marched forward to a tent. The one who held me by my arm pushed me forward into the tent roughly, Miles, Dan, and Charlotte following behind me.

"Hey, take it easy," Daniel said to the man.

"It's alright, Dan, I'm fine," Charlotte said as the man walked out of the tent. Miles sat down on a bench inside the tent and Charlotte sat across from him. I sat down on the ground next to Miles on the bench, checking the tent entrance to see if we could talk about what was going on.

"We're so dead," Miles mumbled quietly.

"Hey, no, no, no, we are not so dead. We're gonna be fine. We just need to keep it together until there's another flash. Alright? Then all this disappears," Daniel said. I nodded, realizing he was right.

"And when's that gonna happen?" Miles asked eagerly.

"Could be five minutes… could also be 5,000 years," Dan answered. I shook my head and leaned over my knees.

"That's, that's just awesome," Miles answered.

"Dan, I don't understand," I said. "I know that man. Richard. He was one of Ben's people… I saw him the day all this happened. He looks exactly the same now as he did then," I said.

"How do you mean?" He answered confusedly.

"I mean he's the same!" I whispered excitedly. "He hasn't aged! At all! Same haircut, same facial hair…"

"Are you sure it's not his father or something? They could just…"

"No, Daniel, I'm telling you it's him," I said a little louder. He was quiet, unsure of what to think.

"What is going on, Dan? Why are they doing this to us?" Charlotte angrily asked.

"I'm not sure. But they must think we're the American military. And if that's the case, our best chance of staying alive is to let them keep thinking it, alright? Let's…" Daniel explained, but someone came through the opening in the tent. I looked up nervously to see Richard. Dan looked between us and we gave a solemn look of understanding. The girl who found us at the creek came in to the tent with one other man and they both stood behind Richard.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" He asked, moving forward. "Ellie tells me you're not willing to reveal where the rest of your squad is?" He marched over to Daniel.

"And why would I do that?" Daniel asked seriously. "So you can kill them, too?"

"We didn't start this, friend. Your people attacked us. You come to our island to run your tests, you fire on us, and, what? You expect us not to defend ourselves?" Richard asked angrily.

"I don't know anything about that. We are scientists," Daniel said. I didn't know where he was going with this. Richard looked over at us.

"You expect me to believe that that teenager is a scientist?" Richard asked, pointing to me. I stayed quiet, letting Daniel take the lead.

"She's the daughter of a chemist that died at the creek where your people found us. She's perfectly innocent," Daniel lied. I kept my eyes innocent and big. I tried to show I was afraid. I was scared, but I was more so curious to learn about how Richard was here.

"So what? So they sent you here to recover it?" Richard asked, looking back at Daniel, seemingly accepting Daniel's argument.

"If you mean our hydrogen bomb, then yes. And I'm guessing from this man's radiation burns that the housing has been compromised. Is that right?" Daniel said. Wow… thanks for filing us in on what's been going on. "You need to listen to me. You have an unstable device that's capable of destroying this entire island and it's broken. If you don't allow me to render it inert, all of us are gonna die. All of us."

"How do I know you weren't sent here on some suicide mission? That I'll take you out to the bomb, and you'll just detonate it?" Richard asked. I looked to Daniel as he took a pause.

"Because… I'm in love with the woman sitting next to me. And I would never… I would never do anything to hurt her," Daniel said, peering out of the corner of his eye at Charlotte, who gazed back up at him in a small surprise.

"Alright," Richard said, accepting Daniel's offer. "Take care of your bomb, but you try anything else, and we will hurt her," He threatened. Richard walked out of the tent, Ellie and the man with radiation burns following. I let out a relaxed breath, standing up. Miles followed suit and leaned against a pole holding up the tent. Charlotte walked around the tent and settled down on a bench on the opposite side of the table. I leaned against some crates in the tent and Daniel sat down in front of me in a nervous silence. After a moment of released tension, Miles spoke.

"A hydrogen bomb? Seriously?" Miles asked in disbelief.

"How did you know all that?" I asked Daniel.

"Back in the '50s, the U.S. Government tested H-bombs in the South Pacific," He explained.

"Lucky us," Miles answered, moving to look out the tent.

"You didn't have to say that," Charlotte said quietly after a moment.

"Say what?" Daniel asked her.

"That you loved me," She said, smiling as if it was a joke. I looked to Miles. If we were anywhere else, I would've insisted on moving away and giving them space to talk, but there was nowhere to go. Miles looked back to me and raised his eyebrows, as if to agree that, yeah, this was uncomfortable. "I mean, there are plenty of other ways you could've convinced him you weren't gonna blow up the entire island." I moved to the edge of the tent, where Miles was. We stayed quiet, but I still wanted to give them room to talk things out. It had been obvious to me this whole time that there was some tension between the two, but I assumed that they'd talked it out already. Apparently, I was wrong.

"I said what I said because I meant it, Charlotte," Daniel answered. I looked between them and smiled. It was so sweet… I was almost envious that Charlotte had someone that loved her like that. I realized Ellie had come into the tent next to me and Miles and I jumped back a little.

"Right, then," She said, pushing Miles away from her. "Let's go," She said to Daniel, picking up his backpack.

"Back soon, I promise," He said to Charlotte. He stood and walked towards the exit. Ellie stopped and turned to me.

"You too," She demanded. I looked to Miles nervously and he looked back at me, but there was no argument to be made. I moved forward and followed Daniel out of the tent. She marched us over to Richard. He moved up to Daniel and took the bindings off from around his wrists.

"Whatever your, uh, superiors have told you… I want you to know the truth. A month ago, we found 18 members of an army battalion right here, in our jungle, here, setting up this camp. We gave them the opportunity to leave the island peacefully. They weren't willing to do that, so I was forced to kill 'em. All of them," Richard explained.

"Forced?" Daniel questioned. "By whom?"

"Look, you answer to someone, don't you? You follow a chain of command, yeah?" Richard asked.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, well, so do I," Richard answered. I looked to Richard curiously. Did he mean Ben? Was Ben here too?

"Richard!" A young voice yelled. I turned around to see a young man with brown hair in a light gray-green shirt and pants run to us. "Richard!"

"What the hell happened to you?" Richard asked, stepping forward to the young man.

"Cunningham and I… a group of them surprised us. We were outnumbered, but I escaped," He explained. Sawyer… it must be him.

"Outnumbered, eh?" Ellie asked, pointing her gun at Daniel, but looking to the young man.

"Shut up, Ellie," He snapped. "Who's this?" He asked, pointing to Dan and I.

"He's gonna help us take care of our problem. You'd better get going," He directed Ellie.

"Wait, he's one of them, you can't actually trust him…" the boy said.

"Yeah, you heard me. Ellie, go," Richard instructed.

"What about the girl?" Ellie asked.

"Leave her here," Richard said. With that, Ellie and Dan walked away. Dan and I held eye contact for a few moments while I anxiously wondered what would happen to me. "H-how did you escape?" Richard asked the boy, approaching him more. He couldn't have been much older than me… maybe 19? 20?

"I ran," He said.

"It never occurred to you that they might follow you?" Richard asked angrily.

"Follow me? Their leader is some sodding old man… what, you think he can track me? You think he knows this island better than I do?" The boy asked. Old man… Locke. It had to be Locke. And if it was, then this kid had no idea what hit him. Locke had to be nearby.

"No, I think you're an idiot," Richard complacently replied. The boy quieted and looked to me.

"What are you doing with her?" He angrily asked about me. Richard looked to me and his face softened… a little.

"Getting honest answers," He said. I was nervous… what would I say? I didn't know anything about hydrogen bombs or the '50s. "Take her to my tent. Untie her wrists, too," Richard ordered the boy. He then walked away. I looked to the boy. His eyes stayed on Richard angrily, then darted to me. He grabbed my forearm and pulled me along quickly to Richard's tent. When we reached the shade of his tent, the boy untied my wrists aggressively. He looked into my face and laughed, but didn't smile.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll tell him everything," He said. He threw my wrists down and left the tent. I stared after him… who put the stick up his ass? I looked around the tent… what was I going to say? What was I going to do?

"Sorry about that," Richard said from behind me. I jumped and spun around. "Relax, it's fine," He said, sitting in a chair. I stared nervously at him. "Would you like to sit?" He asked, pointing to the chair next to him. I just stared at him… there was nothing I could say to make him believe that I was the kid of some chemist on a military team to disable a bomb. I wanted to be honest with him. I just didn't know what to say. I moved forward slowly, tucking my hair behind my ear and sitting in the chair. "I'm not gonna hurt you, you know," He said, smiling comfortingly at me. I didn't think he'd hurt me. I smiled a little back.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked quietly, waiting for him to ask me questions I had no answers to, about bombs or who the president was.

"I wanted to know how you know me," He said, leaning back in his chair. I sat forward. What could I say? "When I first saw you, you thought you knew me."

"I mistook you for someone else."

"No you didn't," He quickly replied. I looked down at my hands. Shit… "What's your name?" He asked me. I hesitated.

"Carmen," I said. He paused, and sat up, suddenly very interested.

"Carmen what?" He asked, wanting to know my last name. I hesitated again.

"Carmen Jameson," I answered. He fidgeted anxiously and laughed a little. I furrowed my eyebrows. He sat back.

"Who told you to say that?" He asked, smiling.

"What?" I confusedly replied.

"That name. Who gave you that name?" He asked, sitting forward, his smile fading fast. I quieted. I didn't know what he thought was going on, but it couldn't be good for me. "Did you go to the lighthouse?" He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Lighthouse?" I asked.

"Richard Alpert!" I heard someone yell outside the tent. I turned to the direction it came from. "Richard Alpert!" It came again. It sounded familiar. Richard stood.

"Come," He ordered. I got up and followed.

"Richard, I need to talk to you!" It came again. Richard and I went around a tent and I saw the young man that took me to Richard's tent holding a gun to John Locke's back. I hurried forward.

"That's enough!" Richard yelled. He looked to a man that stood behind me with a bow and arrow and the man grabbed my shoulder, holding me back from moving. "Who are you?" Richard asked John.

"My name is John Locke," John slowly answered.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Richard answered. John looked nervously at Richard, and his eyes darted to me briefly, then back to Richard.

"Jacob sent me," He said. I didn't know who Jacob was… but it obviously meant something to Richard.

"Put the gun down," He ordered the boy.

"What?" He asked. "Richard, you can't seriously trust him." Richard walked around Locke and hit the gun away from John.

"I said put the gun down, Widmore," Richard said. Widmore?

"Your name is Widmore?" John asked him. "Charles Widmore?" He elaborated.

"What's it to you?" The boy snidely asked. It was him… the man who sent a team of people to kill us was standing in front of me.

"Nothing. Nice to meet you," John said.

"John, if you'll kindly follow me," Richard said. John moved towards him, looking back to me occasionally. "Take her back to the tent with her team," Richard called to the man behind me. He moved me back to the tent with Miles and Charlotte. Once he left, Miles jumped up.

"What happened?" He asked urgently. "You okay?"

"I'm fine…"

"Where's Dan?" Charlotte asked

"What happened?" He asked again.

"He… Richard sent Dan to disable to bomb. I haven't seen him since. And Richard wanted me to tell him how I knew him, and… when I told him my name, he didn't believe me…"

"Believe you?" Miles asked.

"Yeah… he acted like it was a joke. He said something about a lighthouse…"

"A lighthouse?" Miles asked.

"Yeah. Then… John Locke is here. He came into camp, and he's talking with Richard now," I said. Miles quieted. "Widmore," I said. "There's a boy here… his name is Charles Widmore."

"What?" Charlotte asked.

"Widmore, he's here. I mean, he's just a kid, only a little older than me, but… it's him," I said. They quieted.

"So what now?" Miles asked. I heard something high pitch. I was about to ask if he could hear it, but then I realized… we were going to time-travel again. It got louder and higher, and a white light spread over us. I covered my ears and ducked my head. When the light went away and everything got quiet, I turned around to see an empty valley. John stood a ways away with his on his head.

"Charlotte!" I heard Dan yell. I looked past him to see Juliet and Sawyer. I smiled a little. Just knowing they were okay was comforting. "You okay?" Dan asked Charlotte.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She answered through rushed breaths.

"Yeah, me too. I'm great too," Miles said. I turned and smiled at him. I saw his wrists were still bound. I went to him and helped untie his wrists.

"Charlotte…" Daniel said nervously. I turned to see Charlotte collapse on the ground. "Charlotte!" I glanced quickly at Miles who stared nervously at Charlotte, and knelt down and helped her turn over. "Charlotte, no, no, no! Look, hey, look at me, look at me, it's okay!" He said to himself more than to her. She was unconscious and blood had spilled out of her nose. "Charlotte!" Daniel called, raising her to him. He hugged her close. "Charlotte, come on, wakeup, Charlotte. Charlotte!" He called, lowering her. Juliet came to our side.

"What happened?" Daniel just pleaded for her to wake up. I held my fingers to her throat… there was still a pulse, however slow it was…

**OH NOOO! So anyone catch that lighthouse reference? Did ya get it? Did yaa? Lol anyways, hope you enjoyed it!**


	80. The Little Prince

**I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've written: college is so busy! Get this: I just recently decided that I'm going to dual major (each with its own concentration) and dual minor! Am I crazy or what? Plus, I've been doing crew for a show at my university and I'm in the improv group here and I've got rehearsals for a show I'm in and shooting dates for a student film! And I'm maintaining a 3.5 GPA! I think I'm kind of awesome to be getting all of this done! No, I don't have time for a social life or a boyfriend, but hey, that stuff's overrated lol! Enough of me, though. Thanks to my new readers for reviewing: getting those emails inspired me to write more! Enjoy The Little Prince!**

I knelt on the ground beside Charlotte. She lay motionless on the ground.

"What do we do?" Miles asked.

"Charlotte, wake up!" Daniel nervously pleaded with Charlotte's limp body. Juliet pushed his hands away, felt her pulse and nodded.

"She's alive," Juliet said. Daniel leaned forward again.

"Charlotte, please…" He started. I looked up to Miles and thought about how to make this panicked crowd disperse a little.

"Miles, can you get her some water?" I asked. Miles looked from me to Charlotte, then ran towards the trees.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked Juliet. She didn't answer. Instead, she just looked intently at Daniel, as if she knew something he didn't want her to know. He nervously sat back and let Juliet examine her. Juliet tried to lift her eyelids and look at her pupils and such. I had no idea what Juliet could tell from her small physical exam, but I knew that something was up.

"Charlotte?" Juliet asked, tilting Charlotte's head to face the sky. "Charlotte?" Juliet asked louder.

"What the hell's wrong with her? She's been out for ten minutes!" Sawyer asked loudly, pacing around in front of us with his gun slung over his shoulder.

"Stop shouting, James," Juliet answered, not looking up at him. Miles came over to us, unscrewing the cap on a flask filled with water.

"Here, man," Miles whispered, handing Daniel the flask.

"Thank you," Dan answered. He took the flask and a small cloth. He wet the cloth and reached it towards Charlotte's face, trying to rouse her.

"If there's something you want to tell me, Daniel, now would be a good time," Juliet said, staring intently at Daniel. Daniel looked ever so slightly confused and worried.

"Not sure what you mean exactly," He said, turning to Charlotte and dabbing her face softly.

"She's asking if you know why your girlfriend had a seizure," Sawyer jabbed.

"Give us some space, would you?" Juliet politely asked Sawyer, looking up at him in annoyance.

"She's like this 'cause the sky keeps lighting up! He knew this would happen, and he didn't say squat about it!" Sawyer snapped.

"James. Go away," Juliet insisted. I looked up at Sawyer. I could tell he was taken aback by Juliet's demands, but he turned and walked away. "Did you know that this would happen?" Dan hesitantly looked up at Juliet.

"I thought… I thought it might. I think it's neurological. Our brains have an internal clock, a sense of time. The flashes throw the clock off. It's like really bad jet lag," Daniel explained.

"Really bad jet lag doesn't make you hemorrhage, Daniel. Do you wanna tell me why it isn't happening to the rest of us?" Juliet asked.

"I don't know… but thank God it's not," Daniel said, dabbing Charlotte's face nervously. I looked down at Charlotte nervously. Maybe it was just a matter of time before we all started hemorrhaging. Maybe Charlotte was just the start. Suddenly, she started shaking her head. I looked behind me to Miles as Daniel started whispering comforting nothings to Charlotte.

"She's awake," I said softly. Miles looked over the field to John and Sawyer.

"Hey! She's waking up!" He yelled, then walked to my side.

"You okay?" Daniel asked as Charlotte opened her eyes. Charlotte pulled her head away from him and looked nervously at Daniel.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"It's me. It's Daniel," He answered, his worry prevalent in his voice and eyes. She closed her eyes and smiled a little.

"Daniel…" She muttered to herself, as if it brought back a wave of memories. She slowly sat up, groaning as she did. Sawyer and John were standing directly behind her. "My head. What happened?"

"There was another flash. You passed out. How do you feel?" Daniel whispered softly to her, brushing her hair from her face.

"A bit dizzy, but… I'm fine," She said, trying to stop Daniel from worrying so much.

"Good," He answered.

"Hurray, everything's back to normal. Now what?" Miles asked.

"I'll tell you now what," Sawyer said, slipping the strap of his rifle back around his arm and over his shoulder and looking back to John. "We're going to the Orchid." He started trekking ahead. John followed. I stood next to Miles as Juliet and Daniel helped Charlotte up.

"Why the Orchid?" Miles asked.

"The hell if I know," I answered, moving forward and following John.

* * *

Night had fallen over the jungle, yet we continued trekking forward towards The Orchid. We walked mostly in silence, with the occasional thought provoking conversation. John and Sawyer talked a little, but I stayed next to Miles, walking in silence. We moved forward and as we passed a tree, a bright light shown out over the tree tops. I looked over to see a bright white pillar of light extending to the sky.

"What the hell is that?" Miles asked. There was a momentary pause.

"Whatever it is, we better stay clear of it," John said ahead of us, diverting from our path.

"Beach is this way," Sawyer said, pointing towards the light. "Now you wanna take the scenic route?"

"John, do you know when we are?" Daniel asked. John looked around nervously, obviously not wanting to give an answer.

"We need to keep moving," He said. We hesitantly followed him. We walked silently through the jungle. I walked just ahead of Miles, behind Daniel and Charlotte. They began a conversation, and I could've listened in, but I zoned out, thinking about that white light. Had I seen it before? I couldn't remember why John might know when we were.

"You okay?" Juliet asked behind me. I turned around to see Miles looking down at his hand. He wiped under his nose quickly and shrugged at me a little.

"I'm peachy," He said. I suddenly heard a loud, ear piercing scream.

"Shh!" Sawyer hushed us, stopping us in our tracks.

"Now what?" Miles asked. The screaming continued. I knew that scream…

"Nobody move," Sawyer said, moving forward.

"James…" John whispered.

"I got this," Sawyer whispered back, moving forward towards the screams, rifle in hand. The screaming stopped, but I could still hear it ringing in my head. I knew that scream, that voice.

"You okay?" Miles asked me. I put my hand up and made him pause. I knew it, I was so close… who was it… that voice, that scream…

"Claire," I said aloud.

"What?" Miles asked. John turned around to look at me. I hurried forward.

"Claire, that's Claire!" I yelled. I ran forward through the jungle, trying to find where Sawyer had went to find him and help Claire. She was still somewhere on this island, travelling through time just like us! I hurried forward, but stopped when I heard something else rustling through the branches. I looked around and saw someone hurrying through the trees. I ducked lower and tried to get a look at them. I saw a young girl running through the trees, stumbling. She breathed heavily, but not out of exhaustion; she was crying. A chain was clenched tightly in her fist. I raised my hand to my neck and felt Boone's necklace resting on me chest. It was me. I knew when we were… this was the night Boone died. A high pitched ping rang in my ears, and white light began to engulf me. I watched carefully as I faded into the jungle, and closed my eyes and clamped my hands over my ears until it subsided. When I opened my eyes, sunlight fell around me. No one was here but me… only one of me. I let my hand fall to the necklace on my chest. For the first time, I realized a tear was falling down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and looked down at the ground.

"Hey!" Miles called from behind me. I turned around to see him standing still behind me. "You okay?" He asked. I looked back ahead of me and stared at the still trees, as if Boone would walk out of them. Of course, nothing happened. I let out a deep breath and turned around, walking back to him.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said.

* * *

We finally arrived at the camp. It was deserted, but our things were there.

"Hello?" Sawyer called, hoping for an answer.

"The camp's back," Juliet stated.

"Finally. Anybody for a Dharma beer? Hello? Anybody here? Rose? Bernard?" Sawyer called out. No one answered him.

"I wonder how long ago this happened?" John asked himself. He picked up something out of the sand: Vincent's leash.

"What is it?" Juliet asked him.

"It's Vincent's," John said.

"Yeah? Well, where's the rest of the dog?" Sawyer asked. "Where's the rest of our people?"

"The zodiac's gone, too!" Daniel called over to us.

"Maybe your people took the boat," Charlotte called. We moved forward to where Dan and Charlotte were standing on the beach.

"Why the hell would they do that?" Sawyer asked.

"To get away from whoever came in those," Miles answered. I followed his gaze to see two small boats sitting in the sand. We moved over to them as a group.

"Where did these come from?" Charlotte asked.

"That's a good question… they're pretty old," Daniel asked, examining the canoes.

"Not that old," Miles said, picking up a plastic water bottle from the inside of the canoe.

"Let me see that," Sawyer said, taking the bottle from Miles. "Ah-jura-ah," He said slowly.

"Ajira," Juliet said, looking at the bottle. "It's an airline. It's based out of India, but they fly everywhere."

"Great. Maybe that got a flight out of here to Vegas tonight. Who came in these? Other others?" Sawyer asked, looking to Juliet.

"Don't look at me," She answered.

"My question is when are they coming back?" Daniel asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"Let's not wait to find out," John said. We all looked down at the boat, then silently agreed: time to go. We pushed the boat forward into the water, hopped in, and picked up the paddles, digging them into the clear ocean water.

* * *

We'd only just gotten out into open water by the time my heart rate had picked up. I was tired.

"This plan sounded a hell of a lot better when we were going by motorboat," Miles said. I smiled silently to myself. "How far is this place?" Miles called up to John.

"It's around that point. Not more than a couple hours," John hollered back.

"Oh joy," Miles answered wearily. I heard Juliet talking to Sawyer behind me, but I didn't listen in. I was still thinking about Boone. I heard something whiz past us quickly.

"Get down!" Juliet yelled. I ducked and turned around to see the other boat, and someone shoot from it.

"Paddle!" Sawyer yelled at us. I plunged my paddle into the water. More gunshots ensued, but we just paddled furiously.

"I think they want their boat back!" Miles yelled.

"Move!" John ordered.

"These your people?" Miles yelled back to Juliet.

"No, they yours?" Juliet asked, but more in anger of an indirect accusation.

"Shut up and keep paddling!" Sawyer yelled. After a moment, Sawyer called out again. "Little help, little help!" I heard gun shots directly behind me and looked back to se Juliet shooting back at them. "Paddle harder! They're getting closer!" As if on cue, a white light covered us. I dropped my paddle in my lap and covered my ears. When the light went away, it was pouring rain around us, though the gunfire had ceased. "I take that back!" Sawyer yelled up at the sky. I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Everybody paddle! Head for the shore!" John ordered. I paddled quickly, my eyes nearly closed because of the rain.

* * *

When we finally reached the beach, I got out of the canoe and collapsed onto my hands and knees on the ground.

"You okay?" Miles asked me. I nodded, out of breath. He sat down beside me on the sand.

"Where are we?" Daniel asked.

"It's hard to say til it gets light," John answered. We all quietly took a breather.

"Oy! Come and look at this!" Charlotte yelled. I looked up and raised myself to my feet to see wreckage cluttering the beach. John kicked over a black box to see words scribbled on the front of it.

"Anybody speak French?" John asked. I silently thought of Shannon, and my thoughts of course fell back on to Boone. I clasped the necklace in my hand and withdrew into my thoughts and memories.

**I miss Lost. Need I say more?**


	81. This Place is Death

**Sorry it's been so long since I've written; I was in a show on campus, and know the semester's winding down for exams. Hopefully, over winter break, I'll get a lot of writing done! Alright, here's "This Place is Death."**

I dragged my feet over the foliage in the jungle. We had been hiking for what felt like forever, never really getting anywhere of importance. Every once in a while, a bright, white flash of light would engulf us, reminding us that we were entirely at the mercy of whatever was happening to the island. I'd almost given up hope of figuring out what was going on. John seemed convinced he could stop it, but John places his faith too easily in his abilities and in the island. Personally, I'm almost ready to surrender to the island if it means we take a nap.

I walked just a pace in front of Miles. Occasionally we talked, but most of the space between us was filled with silence. John was leading us towards the Orchid station, each stride filled with purpose. Juliet and Sawyer walked beside each other, rarely speaking, but occasionally glancing at each other cautiously. Daniel and Charlotte walked together behind us, taking it slowly for Charlotte. Her headaches had gotten worse, and she had very frequent nosebleeds. Other than Daniel, I was the only one who hadn't had a nose bleed yet. I had never had one in my life before though, so for some reason, I wasn't very surprised.

"Hey, Locke," Sawyer called ahead. John turned his head, but didn't stop moving to listen. "How far are we?"

"Not much further," He shouted back. Sawyer gave one of his annoyed glances to Juliet, and continued moving forward. Suddenly, we heard a gunshot ring out through the jungle. We all stopped in looked in the general direction of the firing. I turned to Miles and we exchanged worried looks. I looked back to Sawyer. He looked back at me for a moment, as if he knew I knew what he was planning. He nodded to Juliet, and the two moved forward slowly. More shots rang out through the jungle, and I flinched in nervousness. I could hear a high pitched noise; a flash was coming. I put my hands over my ears and cringed as the bright light overtook us. When it disappeared, I looked up, glad that whatever was in the jungle was now gone. Yet, we still heard someone moving in the jungle ahead of us. It was definitely a person. I could hear them panting. Sawyer moved swiftly and silently ahead, and abruptly stopped, aiming his gun at someone.

"Turn around slowly," I heard him say. I froze in anticipation. Who was travelling through time with us? Was it someone from the beach? I looked ahead to see a man slowly turning around, a battered face, but recognizable as a man I thought was long gone. My feet became motionless as my mind wrapped itself around Jin's surprised face. "Jin?" Sawyer asked, his surprise evident in his voice.

"Sawyer?" He replied.

"Jin!" Sawyer jumped forward and the men hugged and laughed. "You gotta be kiddin me! I thought you were on that boat, I thought you were dead!"

"No, no, I… in water," Jin answered.

"Well, what do you say," Sawyer answered. I ran forward past Juliet and threw my arms around Jin.

"I can't believe it," I said softly, stuck in a legitimate state of disbelief. He smiled down at me and looked around at the rest of our group. Suddenly, his smile faded.

"Where is Sun?" He asked. My smile dropped off my face and I turned to Sawyer. How were we going to explain what was happening to him? To all of us? How we didn't know where all of our people were, let alone the people headed to or on the boat? We assumed they were all dead, yet here was Jin.

"There's a creek up here on our right. Let's stop off there and take a rest," John suggested, as if reading my mind. We moved ahead and stopped by the creek. Jin turned to Sawyer.

"Sun?" He asked. Sawyer shook his head, but before he could respond, John interrupted.

"She's off the island, Jin, she's back home," John said. Jin looked confused.

"How?" Jin asked. John stammered over explanations in his mind, but couldn't come up with anything. Jin decided he wanted answers quickly, and looked to Sawyer. "There was… light, and… things change," He said. I know what he was confused about, but trying to explain it was going to be like teaching a turtle how to use the bathroom: impossible, and I barely saw the point of trying.

"Basically, we're… the island is like a record," Sawyer said, trying to recall the way Daniel told us. Jin just looked more confused.

"It's like… every time the sky lights up we… move through time," Sawyer was trying very hard to explain what was going on, but Jin was just as confused as ever. He frustratedly yelled something in Korean, then turned to Dan, Charlotte and Miles, who were kneeling by the creek. "You. Translate. Please, translate." I looked to Miles.

"You heard the man. Translate," Sawyer directed to Miles. I shook my head.

"Miles isn't Korean," I said.

"I'm from Encino," He said. Jin yelled something else at him, and I realized that he wasn't talking to Miles, but to Charlotte. Charlotte hesitantly looked up at John.

"He wants to know how you're sure his wife is off the island," Charlotte said.

"You speak Korean, red?" Sawyer asked her.

"Obviously," Miles said, inching away from Charlotte as if he had lost some trust in her. John lunged forward from behind Sawyer.

"Tell him I'm sure, but none of it will matter if we don't make it to the Orchid," John said. Jin and Charlotte talked for a moment in Korean, exchanging questions and explanations. Our eyes bounced silently between them as if we were watching tennis. Jin eventually turned back to John.

"Bring Sun back?" Jin asked. "Why you bring her back?"

"Because she never should have left," John said. Jin stood stationary and silent. "Come on, we need to move," John said, looking between us all and heading off. We started to follow him. Eventually, Miles caught up to me.

"So, what? You didn't know your team member spoke Korean?" I asked him.

"I don't know a lot about my team members," Miles said, spitting out the words team members as if they were a punch line to his joke. "Mr. Clean up there seems to think he knows a lot about what's going on." I silently chuckled about the nickname, but kept looking ahead.

"Yep."

"Do you buy it?" Miles asked. I kept silent a moment.

"We'll find out if it works," I said. I didn't really buy all of what John said, but did I really have a choice? Daniel didn't seem to have a plan, and I sure as hell didn't. John was our best bet.

* * *

Jin and John argued for a while up ahead of us. Jin was still very confused, but I couldn't think of a way to clear up his confusion. Suddenly, the high pitch ringing began over the tree tops. I looked up to see the sky lighting up, and clenched my hands over my ears just in time for the noise to pierce through my fingers. My body folded over as the noise encased us. As soon as the light faded, I let out a deep breath. Suddenly, the noise came on again. It couldn't be there, it must have been ringing in my ears. But I was wrong; another flash immediately overtook us. I could hear Charlotte cry out in pain. I held my ears tightly, but it didn't matter. I fell to my knees as the light seemed to suck the strength from my legs. When the light faded, I struggled to catch my breath. I coughed a little, and blood spit out of my nose. I felt Miles' hand on my back.

"Charlotte!" I heard Daniel cry near me. I looked up to see Charlotte collapsed on the ground.

"Carmen, you okay?" Miles asked behind me. I used my sleeve to wipe the blood out from under my nose. I felt lightheaded suddenly. I wasn't sure if that's how I was supposed to feel after a nose bleed, or if I was lightheaded because I was nervous. Worried. If we didn't stop the flashes soon, we'd all end up like Charlotte. I stood up quickly.

"I'm fine," I said to Miles, hurrying over to Charlotte. Miles followed.

"Charlotte! Can you hear me? Charlotte, it's Daniel, talk to me," Daniel pleaded with Charlotte's still body. She was conscious, but out of it. Her eyes landed on Jin and she leaned forward. She started speaking desperately, quickly, and frantically in Korean. I watched Jin, who looked petrified in fear.

"What'd she say?" Sawyer asked Jin, who stood motionless, staring down at her.

"Don't let them bring her back! No matter what, don't let them bring her back! This place is death!" Charlotte cried. She fell back on to the ground shortly after, her face resuming a plain expression, as if she'd been possessed. I looked to Jin, who looked terrified at what to do. I looked back down at Charlotte, who was suddenly aware again, but… not really.

"I don't want to go," She said in a childish voice.

"Charlotte?" Daniel questioned.

"Why can't daddy come with us?" Charlotte asked in the same voice.

"Charlotte, can you hear me?" Daniel asked. Charlotte looked up at Daniel and shook her head.

"You know what my mum would say about me marrying an American," She said. She smiled a little suddenly. "You know, I know more about ancient Carthage than Hannibal himself."

"What the hell is she talking about?" Sawyer asked.

"I have no idea," Daniel answered.

"Let's go, we have to keep moving," John said. I was annoyed by him rushing us, but I knew he was right. If we could stop these flashes at the Orchid, then we needed to hurry up and get there.

"Alright. Somebody help me with Charlotte. We're going to have to carry her," Daniel said.

"No, she's going to hold us up," John said, holding out his hand. Daniel stood quickly.

"We can't just leave her," Daniel said.

"Flashes are getting closer together. Maybe when your nose starts bleeding, you'll realize we gotta get out of Dodge now. We'll come back for her just as soon as we can," Sawyer said. He sounded like he was trying to comfort him, but he was failing. A lot.

"No. No way. I'm not going to leave her behind," He answered frantically.

"Let them go without me," Charlotte mumbled quietly from the ground. She was suddenly aware and present. Daniel knelt down beside her.

"No, Charlotte, no, we're not going to leave you behind," Daniel started, but the bright white light silenced us, and the high pitched noise shot through my ears. When it faded, I put my hand to my head in misery. I felt under my nose. No nose bleed this time.

"We have to move! Now!" John said.

"He's right, go," Charlotte insisted to Daniel.

"Charlotte," Daniel tried to argue.

"No, just go! Oh… turn it up. I love Geronimo Jackson," Charlotte smiled. And she was gone…

"We're running out of time, Dan," Juliet said softly.

"Go. I'm staying with her," Daniel answered. That seemed reasonable to me.

"Let me ask you something, John. If we don't even know when the hell we are, what happens if the Orchid ain't around anymore?" Sawyer asked. For the first time all day, John was silenced. Faith in a plan didn't matter if the Orchid wasn't there.

"Look for the well," Charlotte piped in. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "You'll find it at the well."

"I'll be sure and do that," Sawyer answered as if a child was giving him strategical advice.

"Let's go," John said. He moved forward fast. I looked down at Charlotte for a moment, then moved forward. We needed to hurry if Charlotte was going to live.

* * *

As we moved through the jungle, we were silent. Only the sounds of our panting could be heard. I looked up to Miles and my gaze steadied. His eyes met mine.

"What?" He asked.

"Your nose," I said. He reached his hand up and wiped his nose. Before I had time to worry, John spoke up.

"We're here," He said. We moved forward to see a damaged, worn down structure that I supposed was the Orchid.

"Thank God!" Juliet sighed. "What are the odds that we would end up in the same time as this thing?" Suddenly, the bright light stabbed through us, and the noise forced our hands to cover our ears. When it faded, the structure was gone. Nothing but jungle surrounded us.

"You just had to say something," Sawyer said. Great, the Orchid was gone. I thought about what Charlotte said. _Look for the well_. Before I could decipher what she meant, John moved past me. He pushed aside foliage to reveal a vine laced well made of cobblestones and wood. I moved forward to it. I leaned over the side to see a bottomless pit.

"How the hell did Charlotte know this was here?" Miles asked. I shook my head.

"You're going down there?" Sawyer asked, knowing it was a shitty plan.

"Uh huh," John nodded.

"What exactly are you hoping to find?" Sawyer asked.

"A way off the island," John replied.

"You expecting a subway?" Sawyer asked. John smiled. I could tell he was annoyed, but he refused to let it show.

"Goodbye, James," He said. "Juliet, Miles, Carmen… I'll see you all when I get back…"

"No!" Jin yelled before John could get hold of the rope leading down into the black abyss. "Stop! You don't bring Sun back!" I could tell Charlotte's words had seeded in Jin and grown into true threats.

"No, I have to bring them all back. That's… that's how it works," John said.

"How you know?" Jin asked, saying what we were all thinking.

"I… I just know," John said. Jin abruptly grabbed the rope and held out his machete.

"I cut this!" Jin threatened.

"No! You do that, you'll kill every one of us!" John said, holding his hand up in anxiety.

"This island is bad! You don't bring Sun back! You promise! Promise you won't bring back my baby!" Jin yelled. I suddenly remembered Sun was pregnant. Jin was worried for not only his wife, but the child he'd never meet.

"Alright. Alright, you have my word," John said reluctantly.

"Promise, John," Jin insisted.

"I promise." Jin let go of the rope and dug the machete into the wood frame of the well. "I won't go to Sun, Jin, but she might find me. If she does, what do I tell her?" John asked. Jin thought a moment, then approached John.

"You tell her I dead. You say I wash up. You bury me," He said. He pulled of his wedding ring and held it out to John. "Proof." John took the ring and put it in his pocket. I felt a lump rise in my throat at the sacrifice Jin was making, but I stayed silent.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," John said, climbing up onto the well. He grabbed the rope leading into the well.

"You sure you don't want us to lower you down?" Sawyer asked, out of true politeness and concern rather than being rude.

"Where would be the fun in that?" John asked. He smiled in a nervous way.

"John," Juliet said, stopping him. "If whatever you're attempting to do actually works… thank you."

"You're welcome," John said, insistent that his plan was true and right. He slowly started to climb down the rope. I nervously watched him fading in the black abyss, until a bright light came up from the bottom of the well. The high pitch squeak surrounded us.

"Uh, oh," Miles said. I could see the white light seemingly rise from the bottom of the well. I leaned back from the well as the light became too bright to look at, and the noise became unbearable. I put my hands over my ears. I heard Sawyer yell something, but I didn't know what it was. I couldn't open my eyes, couldn't move my hands from my ears. When the light disappeared, I let my hands move from my ears, and I opened my eyes. The rope was held tightly in Sawyer's hands, but it wasn't holding John, or anything else. It was dug deep into the ground, attached to nothingness.

"I think you can let go of that now," Miles said to Sawyer. He hadn't realized that John was gone. Wherever he was, we couldn't help him.

"No," Sawyer mumbled to himself, refusing to believe it. "No no, no no!" He called. He dove to the ground and started digging at the rope.

"James, stop," Juliet said, going to help Sawyer.

"Come on and help me!" Sawyer snapped at Juliet.

"James," She calmly said. He calmed for a moment. "We can't help him."

**If you guys have seen this episode, you know it has some very not happy endings. I'm getting all teary eyed… I'll try to write again soon! There won't be a chapter for 316, or the Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, because they don't have anything to do with Carmen's group, but we're getting to the juicy parts of the season!**


	82. LaFleur

**Hey guys! My life is so crazy… I wish I could explain it to you all! But I know you really don't care… does anyone actually read these? Or do you all just skip to the story. Chicken butt, domino, fire cracker. If anyone reviews and says something about that, I will laugh my butt off. Alright, here's "Lafleur!" (We're getting to my favorite part of the season… SO EXCITED!) By the way, I'll be having the flashforwards in italics, but only for this episode, okay?**

"Wherever John went, he's gone," Juliet said to Sawyer as she knelt in the dirt next to him. I could hear in his panting sighs that he didn't want to give up on John; that he really thought maybe there was something he could do. But when that well disappeared, leaving the rope John was clutching to buried in the dirt, we all knew John was on his own. "And wherever we are is before that well was built."

"Yeah, I'd say way before it," Miles said. I turned around in confusion. Did I miss something? I looked down at where the well was… just dirt. I looked up to Miles, who was staring over the treetops. I followed his gaze.

"What makes you…" Jin started. Miles pointed out over the trees to where we stared. A tall yellow statue towered over the tree tops. It faced away from us, as if looking out across the ocean. It looked damaged by water and erosion, but still stood tall. It had long hair and defined muscles and was wearing a small band of cloth around its waist, almost like a skirt. It had its arms at its sides, and may have been holding something in its clenched fists.

"What is that?" I asked quietly. I didn't really expect an answer, and I didn't get one. I stared at the statue in confusion. I stepped forward, ready to go find out what it was, and just as Sawyer leaned forward to either stop me or follow me, a high pitch ringing cut through the air. It was louder than usual, and the bright light that usually pinched my eyelids closed in pain now sealed them, completely blinding me to my surroundings. I clenched my fists over my ears, but it didn't matter. The noise sneaked between my fingers and slipped into my mind, screaming into my cells. I felt my legs go out from under me, and hit the ground. I was lying on my side before I knew it, and I thought I may have been dying. Then, it was gone. Just as quickly as it came. My hands fell from my ears, hitting the ground. I slowly opened my eyes, afraid that even when they opened, all I would see was the bright blinding light. The day slowly came back into view, the swaying tree tops dancing in the wind as if nothing had happened. I could hear the painful breathing of my friends around me.

"What the hell was that?" Juliet asked, almost afraid.

"That one was different," Miles breathed out. "That was… that was more like an earthquake." I slowly sat up, looking to Jin. He was alright, just clutching his head in relief from the pain. I felt under my nose, expecting globs of blood to appear on my fingers, but nothing was there. I didn't have a nose bleed this time.

"Locke!" Sawyer said. I turned to him. The well was back. He sprung to his feet, still shaky from the flash.

"James… wait!" Juliet called, following him. I slowly stood up and realized that the well was gone; while the cobblestones were there, Sawyer stood on dirt in the center of the well. Locke was gone.

"Great," Sawyer sighed out, letting go of the rope he was ready to climb down. He sat down on the cobblestones. I walked forward, leaning my neck to the side and hearing a loud pop as my neck released tension.

"My headache is gone," Juliet said, her hand on her head.

"Yeah, mine is too," Miles said. "And my nose isn't bleeding anymore." We all double checked our noses; no blood. My headache was gone, too. The ringing in my ears was replaced with the sounds of peacefully chattering birds.

"I think it's over," Juliet cautiously said. "I think John did it." Juliet was right... it would seem as if John saved us.

"Now what?" Jin asked.

"We wait for him to come back," Sawyer said.

"For how long?" Juliet asked.

"As long as it takes," Sawyer said. I thought to myself. What else could we do? We had no way of leaving, nowhere to go.

"We should go back and get Daniel and Charlotte," I said. Sawyer nodded and head us off. Juliet hurried to catch up to him. Jin followed her and Miles and I walked in the back. There was no telling what lay ahead of us now… whenever now was.

* * *

We stepped softly through the grassy jungle until we could hear Daniel, mumbling something softly. When we rounded the bend to see him, he was alone. Charlotte was gone. I turned to Miles nervously. Juliet stepped ahead.

"Where's red?" I heard Sawyer whisper to her, but I don't think she answered before hurrying to Daniel. She crouched down in front of him, but he kept his eyes fixed on the ground and his hands planted on his thighs.

"Daniel," Juliet whispered. "You okay?" She asked. Daniel looked up at her slowly. He'd been crying. He shook his head slowly. He whispered something to Juliet.

"I'm not gonna tell her," He said a little louder.

"Daniel, where's Charlotte?" Juliet asked sweetly. Dan shook his head and struggled to make any words.

"She's gone," He finally got out.

"Where?" Juliet asked, but I was pretty sure I knew what Daniel meant.

"She's dead… dead… she's dead," He stuttered out between panicked, shallow breaths. "There was another flash, and she was… she was just gone. Her body just… it… disappeared. She was gone, and we stayed."

"I'm so sorry," Juliet said softly.

"Hold on, wait a minute," Sawyer interrupted, stepping forward. "We stayed? We're not travelling through time anymore? You saying it's over?"

"'Course it's over," Daniel said, as if it was common knowledge. "Wherever we are now… whenever we are now… we're here for good." Then Daniel fell back into his mumbles about not telling someone something. I looked to Miles, who simply looked at the ground fixedly. I couldn't tell if he was somehow communicating with the dead, or if he was just upset. I let him be.

"Okay, swell," Sawyer said softly to Juliet as she approached him. "Till Dan checks back in, I say we head back to the beach. When Locke gets back with everybody, that's where they'll be looking for us."

"The beach?" Miles asked. "What, you didn't get enough flaming arrows shot at you? And your camp is gone. Why bother?"

"Sawyer's right, Miles. We should go back to the beach. We survived there before, we can do it again," Juliet said persistently.

"Or maybe when we get there, you'll… you'll wanna go back to the Orchid again. And then when that gets boring, we can head back to the beach. It's the only two plans you people have," Miles said, annoyed.

"Hey, zip it," Sawyer snapped at him. "I'm heading back to the beach. If our stuff's there, great. If not, we build new stuff. You don't like the plan, good luck." Sawyer stormed off. I looked to Miles who almost looked surprised.

"Who put him in charge?" He asked. Daniel stood up. Juliet followed Sawyer and Jin and Dan followed her. I watched Miles for a moment while he looked back at where Dan got up. I realized he was thinking of Charlotte. I moved forward, knowing he'd shortly follow. Sure enough, his footsteps crushed leaves behind me, keeping up with me. Sawyer and Juliet dropped back behind us at one point, and Miles and I led the group, Jin keeping a wary eye on Daniel.

"So how long you think we'll just be waiting for Locke anyways?" Miles asked me. I chuckled a little to myself. "What?" He asked in response to my laugh.

"Where are you in such a rush to be? You think that, as soon as they get back, we can go home or something? We don't even know when we are. Chances are, home doesn't exist yet," I said. Miles looked away, as if not ready to see the truth. But that wasn't my problem. We probably wouldn't ever make it home; I had accepted it. Of course, I didn't have much of a home to go back to, which probably explains why I had accepted it so easily. Suddenly two gun shots rang out in the jungle near us. Sawyer and Juliet pulled their guns in close to them and prepared to fire. We all stood perfectly still, wondering what to do next. I could hear a woman yelling. Sawyer must have heard her too, because he ran forward. We all followed, Miles and Dan tailing us. The woman was screaming in terror now. We hurried forward to a line of foliage to see two men with guns slowly approaching a very scared young woman. One of them men put a bag over her head and pushed her to the ground, binding her hands.

"Who do you think they are?" Juliet asked, turning to Sawyer. They had to be others. Who else? The men were dressed in dirty, ragged clothing.

"Who cares who they are, we don't even know when they are," Miles said. He backed up and turned to Dan, who was sitting apathetically on the ground. "Hey, Dan. We don't get involved, right? That's what you said."

"It doesn't matter what we do," Daniel answered in a sad, pitiful tone. "Whatever happened, happened."

"Yeah, thanks anyway, Plato," Sawyer said to Dan. I could tell Sawyer was going to do the right thing here. "I'm going over there." He turned to Juliet. "You still got my back?"

"Absolutely," She quickly answered. I stood near the bushes with Jin as Sawyer and Juliet took off across the field. Just as they were making the woman stand, Sawyer raised his gun.

"Alright, drop the gun!" He yelled. I heard two guns go off. One man was aiming at Sawyer, and he dropped to the ground a second later. I stood erect in fear that Sawyer was hurt, but realized Juliet had shot the man trying to shoot him. He was safe. Sawyer turned to the other man, shooting and killing him. The woman stood silently, unsure of what to do or where to go. I ran out from the bushes to help her. Jin followed shortly behind me. Sawyer grabbed the guns from the two men, handing me one and Jin one. I tucked it into the back of my pants after clicking on the safety and worked on untying the woman's hands. "It's alright, it's okay, you're safe. It's over," Sawyer comforted the woman as he removed the bag from her head. She looked around curiously at all of us. As I removed the tie from her wrists and backed away, she stared at Sawyer.

"Who are you?" She asked. Shit… we hadn't made up a story yet. She was still nervous and scared, but Sawyer turned to Juliet, trying to distract her. I realized there was another dead man. I looked down at him and saw he was wearing a jumpsuit like the one in the hatch. A Dharma jumpsuit. The woman looked down at him and went to sit with him. She ran her hand over his head in a familiar and sad way. The way I did when Boone died.

"Her friend's wearing a Dharma jumpsuit," Juliet told Sawyer as they checked the other bodies. "Puts us in the seventies, eighties.

"The guys with the bags… others?" Sawyer asked her.

"Beats me," She answered.

"What, you don't know each other?" He asked.

"Before my time," Juliet answered, as if his question was an insult.

"Sawyer," Jin said from the other body. "Walkie." Jin tossed a walkie talkie up to Sawyer. He caught it and turned it on.

"We need to go," Juliet said, standing.

"I'm on it," Sawyer answered, putting the walkie on his belt and approaching the woman. He knelt down in front of her and started talking softly to her. "Listen, sweetheart, we gotta get moving now."

"Who are you people?" She asked him. I wondered what he'd say. _We're time travelling plane crash survivors…_

"Our ship wrecked here on the way to Tahiti, but that ain't important right now, 'cause whoever's on the other end of this… those two might've given them a call before we saved you," He said. Tahiti? Shipwreck? I hope he knows naval terms that he just didn't tell me about…

"We have to bury them," The woman said suddenly looking very serious.

"Bury them? We don't have time to bury nobody," Sawyer said, standing with the woman.

"We have to!" She stammered. She looked very nervous. "The truce… oh, God… we have to bury them. And… and we have… we have… we have to bring it… him back home," She said, looking down at her dead friend. "We have to bring Paul back with us. Please. Please? Please…"

"I'll carry him," Jin said, stepping forward. The woman nodded appreciatively.

"Alright, we'll put these guys in the ground and carry your friend back, but we better do it fast," Sawyer said, reluctant to take so much time.

"He wasn't… my friend. He was my husband," She said. I looked down, realizing that she had just lost the love of her life. I was confused about whatever truce she was talking about, but if it was important enough to remember when someone she loved so much had just died, then it must be a big deal.

* * *

The woman led us. Jin and Daniel kept close to her, but I stuck near Miles. For some reason, he felt safe.

"Alright, listen up," Sawyer said, keeping a sharp eye on the women. "When we get there, there's gonna be a lot of questions. So just keep your mouth shut. Let me do the talking."

"You really think you can convince them that we were in a boat wreck?" Miles asked, a little too loud for comfort. The woman didn't seem to notice though.

"I'm a professional," Sawyer gloated. "I used to lie for a living…"

"Daniel, stop!" Juliet screamed. I looked up to see a pillar of concrete jutting from the ground with an odd transmitter on the top. We were face to face with a row of them. Juliet seemed familiar with these things, but I'd never seen them. Juliet walked up to the woman leading us. "Turn it off," She ordered.

"Turn what off?" The woman answered, obviously nervous.

"Whatever that is. It looks like some sort of sonic fence or something," Juliet said. I looked to her in annoyance. Really? Some sort of sonic fence or something? That was subtle…

"Where did you say your ship was going?" The woman asked us. She was getting suspicious…

"Listen, sister, we're the ones who just saved your life and hid those bodies. So how about you trust us and turn that damn thing off?" Sawyer ordered.

"Okay, okay, fine," The woman replied. She moved to a pylon with a small control box and I watched as she punched in a code. I turned to look at Sawyer as he whispered something viciously to Juliet, undoubtedly about the sonic fence comment. "Okay, it's off," The woman yelled. Sawyer moved forward, but kept his eyes on her.

"You first," He said. The woman cautiously moved forward, keeping close to a pylon, and crossed to the other side.

"See? It's fine," She said.

"Alright, let's go," Sawyer ordered us. I watched the pylons hesitantly as we moved forward. "And going forward, we should all do a better job of…" I couldn't hear Sawyer anymore. A deep rumbling shook everything in me, like an earthquake inside of me, yet I couldn't move a muscle. I felt paralyzed. A high pitched screaming pierced my ears, worse than any of the flashes before or any other pain I'd felt, other than perhaps labor. I fell to the ground, my teeth gritting. I felt my face hit the plush grass, and that's all I could remember.

* * *

_Three Years Later._

_I slowly opened my eyes, seeing the yellow light streaming in from my window. Hair fell over my eyes. I pushed my wild hair away from my face and my hand floated down to the metal chain that fell around my neck. My thoughts drifted to Boone. His face was just as clear in my mind as the first day I met him, when he saved my life. I smiled at the memory and dropped my hand back down onto the crisp sheets. Gotta love Saturday mornings. Then it hit me… it's not Saturday, is it? I sat up quickly, realizing it was Friday. My eyes darted to the clock on my bedside table. It was 9:00._

"_God damn it!" I mumbled to myself. I was supposed to meet Amy at 8:30. I leaped from my bed and hurried to my closet. I had slept in my white tank top and underwear, so all I did was grab my mechanic uniform from a month ago and slip it on, zipping it to the top. I threw my hair into a quick ponytail and slipped on my sneakers. I bolted into the living area. I saw James' door open and knew he and Juliet must already be busy at work. Of course, no one woke me. Thanks guys. I ran out the front door, swinging it shut behind me. I hurried over to Amy's house, took a deep breath to compose myself and knocked on the door. No one came. I looked around, wondering if Amy was at the school, waiting for me there. I knocked one more time, just to make sure she wasn't home. Still no answer. I walked over to the school building and looked in the window. I could see Olivia teaching the kids, but Amy wasn't inside. I walked around the building, but she wasn't there. I put my hands on my hips briefly, then wiped my forehead. She wasn't here. I walked over to the mechanic shop; maybe Juliet would know where Amy was. When I arrived, I saw Greg at the front of a jeep, and two thing legs in a jumpsuit poking out from under a van._

"_Juliet!" I called, approaching the van. She wheeled herself out from under the van and removed her safety goggles._

"_Hey. Don't you have the day off today?" She asked me._

"_Amy was supposed to train me on teaching the elementary class today. You know where she is?" I asked her. Juliet looked around her._

"_No… that's odd. Not like Amy," She said as she stood. I nodded._

"_Yeah… you need any help with this?" I asked, kicking the tire of the van. She smiled and shook her head._

"_Nah, I think I got it. Almost there anyways," She said._

"_Where is she?" I heard Jim ask. I turned to see him approaching the two of us._

"_What's up?" Juliet asked, smiling at him._

"_Amy's having her baby," Jim said quietly._

"_What?" Juliet asked, her smiling fading._

"_Did you hear me? She's in trouble. Doc says she needs a Caesarean," He said. Juliet's complacent face turned to an angry grimace. She approached him and spoke aggressively._

"_We had an agreement…"_

"_Screw our agreement," Jim said. "He ain't ever done one, I'm guessing you have."_

"_Don't you understand that every time I try to help a woman on this island give birth, it hasn't worked," She said angrily. This was the closest to an argument they'd had an a while; probably since the ordeal surrounding my 'coming of age.'_

"_Well, maybe whatever made that happen hasn't happened yet. You gotta try. You gotta help her. You're the only one who can," Jim said. Juliet looked at me, as if telling me she'd need my help on the van after all. I nodded. She took off her gloves and shoved them at Jim. He followed after her quickly. I sat down on the cart and wheeled myself under the van, picking up where she left off._

* * *

_As soon as I finished working on the van, I threw off my gloves. I ran to the sink and scrubbed the oil off my hands._

"_Hey, Carmen," I heard behind me. I recognized the voice and a wave of annoyance hit me._

"_Hey, Phil," I said, scrubbing my hands harder._

"_Have you gotten lunch yet?" Phil asked me, coming closer._

"_Phil, I'm kind of busy," I said, turning off the water and shaking the water off my hands. I grabbed paper towels from the wall and started drying them off._

"_Really? 'Cause it looks like you're done," He said. I threw the paper towels in the garbage and walked away._

"_Nope," I said. I know I didn't make any sense, but I didn't care. I just wanted Phil to leave me alone. I unzipped my jumpsuit halfway and tied the sleeves around my waist._

"_Carmen, I really need to talk to you," Phil said. I hurried forward and threw my last comment back._

"_Not now, Phil!" I yelled as I hurried to the medical center to see Jin and Jim sitting in front. "Hey!" I called. Jim looked up. "How's she doing?" I asked._

"_We don't know," Jim shook his head._

"_Jim," Jin said, pulling his attention back. "How long do we look, James?"_

"_As long as it takes," He answered. I realized what they were talking about. Locke, and all the others he was supposed to bring back. As far as I was concerned, they weren't coming. After three years, I was used to our new life. I was going to be a school teacher, and things would be okay. Suddenly, I heard someone burst through the door of the clinic. Juliet came out to us, her face flushed and teary-eyed. We all approached her. "What happened?" Jim eagerly asked her._

"_It's a boy," She smiled._

"_He's okay, she's okay?" Jim asked._

"_Everyone's okay," She laughed. I wanted to hug her I was so proud, but she still had bloody hands. I smiled at her and patted my hand on her back._

* * *

I shook my head slowly, my body feeling sore from the rumbling that the fence sent through me. I slowly opened my eyes and realized I was lying on a couch.

"Hey," I heard someone whisper. "You awake?" He asked. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to keep the light from my eyes. I moaned.

"Where am I?" I asked as I sat up. A hand touched my back, but I flinched and backed away.

"It's alright, you're safe…"

"Safe my ass, where am I?" I asked. The man silenced. I opened my eyes all the way. I looked up at a young man with short black hair, wearing a beige Dharma jumpsuit. A shotgun lay across his lap. I backed away.

"It's okay, it's okay," He said, moving the shotgun away from him. He looked nice, but like I couldn't trust him. "What's your name?" He asked. I opened my mouth to tell him, but then closed it. Sawyer told us not to say anything.

"Where are my friends?" I answered.

"They're safe, I promise. Why don't you just tell me your name?" He asked again.

"Where are they?" I asked again, louder. He smiled a little. "I want to see them. Now."

"That's fine. Can you stand?" He asked, standing in front of me. He extended his hand down to me, but I refused to take it, no matter how weak I felt. I pushed my hands down against the couch cushion beneath me and lifted myself into the air. "Oh, careful. That fence can take a lot out of you." I looked up at him, annoyed. It's your peoples' fault that fence hit me anyways, asshole. I followed him out of a house and into a main quad area. We were in the barracks, where I lived with Claire and Aaron when we were hiding from the freighter people. "My name's Phil, by the way," He said to me sweetly, but I ignored him, only staring straight ahead of me until I saw a table in the middle of a grassy area where Miles, Daniel, Jin, and Juliet sat. "You can sit here. Your other friend will be back soon," He said when we reached the table. I watched him leave before I sat.

"What's going on?" I asked them.

"We're in trouble…" Miles started.

"No we're not," Juliet said. "James is off explaining our situation still." I silently questioned her. Meaning our time travelling situation? Or our fake shipwreck? I could tell by her expression that she thought the latter was correct. I relaxed a little… Sawyer would take care of things. We'd be fine. Just as soon as we quieted, Sawyer came walking up with a man with long hair.

"Hello," The man with long hair greeted us. "Someone will be along shortly to show you all to your rooms. I apologize for the small amount of space we have. You'll probably have to double up in bedrooms. However, you can stay with your uncle," The man said, looking between me and Sawyer. I tried to seem like I knew what he was talking about. "In the meantime, Mr. LaFleur here can fill you in on the situation." The man walked away slowly, and Sawyer approached us.

"Mr. LaFleur?" Miles asked.

"It's Creole. I improvised," He said.

"My uncle?" I asked.

"Our excuse for being here was a shipwreck. You're not old enough to be crew, so I said I was your uncle," He said. Seemed logical enough.

"What happened?" Juliet asked.

"Well, he believed my story," Sawyer started, approaching us slowly and checking around him to make sure no one was listening in. "But we're gettin' punted. The bastard's puttin' us on their sub tomorrow and shipping us off to Tahiti."

"How's that bad news?" Miles asked. It was bad news because then we couldn't stay and wait for Locke, who said he was bringing everyone back. I was about to explain that to Miles when a loud alarm blared over us. I jumped a little at the first blare of noise, then looked around me to see people panicking, running into their houses.

"What's going on?" I yelled over the noise. No one answered me. None of us knew. Suddenly, Phil was beside our table, gesturing for us to all get up.

"Come on, get inside! Move, now!" He ordered. I stood quickly and moved forward. Phil put his hand on my back as he pushed us inside a house. A woman stood in the kitchen with her gun pointed at us. "Heather, keep an eye on them," Phil said. He ignored the rest of my group and looked to me, smiling and nodding. "Everything will be okay." I didn't return the smile. It frustrated me that he took a special interest in me. Did he think I was some naïve, stupid, frightened child? He ran out of the house, swinging the door shut behind him. I quickly moved to one of the windows, trying to see what all the fuss was about. Everyone had cleared out of the main field by now. It was empty. Then I saw a fiery glow slowly approaching the field. Finally, the person carrying it came into view, and I inhaled sharply. He looked just the same as he would thirty years from now, and just as he did twenty years ago. Richard stabbed his glowing torch into the ground and stood planted, waiting for someone to come.

"Uh oh," I heard Sawyer say quietly. Eventually, I saw the man with the long hair that brought Sawyer back go out to him. They talked, or rather argued for a few moments, and then Horace left him. I wasn't sure where they went, but I could tell negotiations weren't going well. I thought over the situation: there was some kind of truce between Richard's people and the Dharma Initiative. But our group was part of neither. Maybe if we went out and explained the situation, it would be okay? I then realized that if I went out and talked to Richard, he would recognize me from the fifties. But… would that be a bad thing? We'd have some kind of unspoken trust, I'm sure. I quickly approached Sawyer and spoke in a low whisper.

"I wanna talk to him," I said. He looked down at me as if I were an idiot.

"What? No, it's not our problem," He answered, looking back out at Richard.

"What do you mean, 'it's not our problem?' Of course it's our problem. It's because of us that two of his men are dead," I whispered aggressively. He shook his head and let out a sigh.

"You know what? Gettin' on that sub is starting to sound like a great idea," Miles said. "What do you say? Sub? Anyone?"

"Hold your horses, Banzai, no one's getting' on a sub," Sawyer answered. Just then, the man with the long hair and Phil burst in the front door. The man with the long hair approached Sawyer.

"Okay, LaFleur, how well did you bury those bodies?" He asked. Sawyer looked back at me cautiously.

"Well, that depends on how hard he looks," He answered. The man with the long hair let out a nervous breath and turned to Phil.

"Call The Arrow. Tell them we're at Condition One. Take the heavy ordinance, and make sure the fence is at maximum," The man said, Phil nodding vigorously.

"Yes sir," Phil answered, about to leave.

"Let me talk to him," Sawyer said, lunging forward. Phil stopped. I stepped forward. This was my idea, I should be the one to talk to him.

"Excuse me?" The man with the long hair asked.

"Your buddy out there with the eyeliner, let me talk to him," Sawyer said.

"We had a truce with these people. You don't understand," The man with the long hair said, trying to explain.

"I understand that I'm the one that killed his men, and I'm the one that's gonna go out there and tell him why I did it," Sawyer said.

"I can't let you do that," The man with the long hair replied.

"Well, it's a good thing I ain't asking your permission," Sawyer answered. He started forward, and I reached forward and grabbed his arm. His eyes met mine. To the man with the long hair and Phil, it probably looked like his poor little niece didn't want him to go out and talk to the scary, dangerous man. But Sawyer and I knew what concerned me. I wanted to talk to Richard. Sawyer shook his head, squeezed my forearm and moved forward. Juliet stopped him at the door.

"James, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Juliet asked him.

"Not yet, but I'll figure something out," He said, going out and closing the door behind him. I hurried to the window to watch the two of them talk. Richard was sitting on a bench by a light post. After a moment, Sawyer sat down next to him. Richard had a look on his face that showed confusion. After a moment, he looked up at the window where I stood. He pointed at Sawyer and looked demanding. Sawyer stilled after a moment. He then stood and looked up at the window where I stood. He snapped his fingers and pointed at the ground. He wanted me to go out there. I ran back to the door and opened it.

"Hey!" Phil yelled at me, but I ignored him. I threw the door closed behind me and went at a half jog towards Richard and Sawyer to ensure Phil couldn't stop me. As I grew closer to Richard, he stood, the look of shock evident on his face.

"Believe me now?" Sawyer asked him. I guess Richard didn't believe whatever he said, and needed some kind of proof that we weren't from the Dharma Initiative. And here I was. Richard looked down at me, and a smile slowly spread across his face. "Still think were members of the Dharma Initiative?"

"No, I guess I don't. But no matter who you are, two of my men are dead. And my people need some kind of justice. Now what are you gonna do about that?" Richard asked him, looking between us seriously. Sawyer looked down at me, obviously stressing about what to do now.

"What do you want?" Sawyer asked. Richard looked down at me.

"Her," He said, staring straight at me. A small smile curved the corners of his mouth upwards. I looked to Sawyer and it was clear I didn't want to go with Richard.

"No," He said immediately, without having to even look at me. He didn't want me to go either. "She stays." Richard kept his eyes focused on me, then looked back at Sawyer.

"Then I want the body," He said. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Then it hit me; he wanted the body of the man his people killed. Sawyer sighed. It would be rather difficult to get them to relinquish the body, but more manageable than convincing Sawyer to give me away. Sawyer turned on his heel and walked away. I hesitated, my eyes captured by Richard's. He smiled at me, and I could see his hand reaching out to me out of the corner of my eye, but I quickly turned and jogged to catch up with Sawyer. He opened the front door of the house we left and we filed in. I closed the door behind me as the man with long hair frantically asked Sawyer what happened.

"He said he'll maintain the truce, but… he wants to take back the body of the man they killed," Sawyer said. The man with long hair looked off to the side, obviously lost in troubled thoughts.

"Come with me," The man said to Sawyer. Sawyer followed him and Phil out the front door. I walked over to the window to see Richard still standing in the same spot, staring back at me through the glass.

* * *

I sat on the bed. I wasn't sure when Sawyer was going to come back, but I'd been waiting for what must have been half an hour. I decided he wasn't coming… at least not yet. I took off my shoes and socks and slipped under the blankets. I closed my eyes, letting my thoughts and worries of the day drift away from me as I was cradled by the crisp white sheets. Just as I was about to drop off into sleep, the door opened. I sat up quickly, as if afraid of who would be on the other side of the door. Sawyer walked in softly and shut the door.

"Sorry… did I wake you up?" He asked quietly. I put my hand to my forehead and cleared my throat.

"I don't think so," I said. He sat down on the edge of the bed by my legs and slid off his shoes and socks. "So what happened?"

"They're giving us two weeks… we play our cards right, I think we'll be members," He said. I smiled a little.

"Great," I said. I fell back on to my pillow. I heard Sawyer remove his shirt and crawl into the bed next to me. "Thanks, Sawyer," I said.

"It's Jim now," He said quietly. I looked to him, lying face up on the pillow next to me. His eyes met mine. "James, if you'd like." I smiled.

"Jim," I repeated softly. I rolled on my side and let myself drift into sleep.

* * *

_I sat in the rocking chair in the clinic, slowly lulling the new born boy into quiet slumber. He was a beautiful baby. I couldn't help but think of Morgan, but only for a brief second. I didn't let the memory linger. I looked up at Amy, who was fast asleep in her hospital bed. Then I smiled back down at the baby boy. He really was beautiful. I heard the door to the clinic swing open, and Lara came in. I pursed my lips to make sure she knew the baby was asleep. She tip toed over to me with a smile._

"_I came to relieve you," She said. I smiled and stood up. I slowly handed her the baby boy. "Amy choose a name yet?" She asked. I shrugged._

"_Not yet…" I said. I was going to continue to say that she'd do it with Horace when he woke up from his drunken stupor, but I decided I had better not._

"_Carmen," I heard someone at the door. I brought my fingers to my mouth and shushed Miles as he froze in the doorway. He quieted, and slowly let the door close behind him. "Can I talk to you?" He asked, gesturing for us to go outside. I smiled and nodded and walked across the room. Lara smiled at the two of us as we left. Miles' eyes stayed on her a while._

"_You okay?" I asked him. He seemed to snap back to reality, and hurried out the door with me. "What's up?" I asked him as we walked out into the cool night air._

"_I, uh… just wanted to apologize," He said._

"_What for?" I asked him._

"_I was talking to Casey and I… may have kissed her," Miles said. I stood still, my mouth falling open. "And… Phil may have seen. I'm really sorry, Carmen…"_

"_It's alright," I said, remembering earlier when Phil invited me to lunch. "I've been asking too much of you…"_

"_No, you haven't," Miles interrupted me, drawing closer. I tried to back away, but he held my arms close to him._

"_Yes, I have. Asking you to be with me all this time has been ridiculous. Jim has Juliet now, and… well, I'm holding you back from finding someone yourself," I said._

"_No, you haven't…" Miles started, but someone interrupted him._

"_Carmen!" I heard someone call to me. Phil. Of course. Phil hurried over to the pair of us._

"_Hey there, Phil," Miles cheerily greeted him. Phil wore a grimace as he looked back at Miles. As soon as he turned to me, he smiled in a giddy sort of way._

"_Carmen, I really need to talk to you," He said._

"_Phil, I'm busy right now…" I started._

"_Miles is cheating on you," Phil yelled out. Miles looked angrily at Phil._

"_She knows, asshole," He aggressively spit out. "But thanks." I shook my head._

"_I just wanted to tell you. You deserve better," Phil said. I threw my hand up to stop him._

"_Thank you, Phil," I yelled. Phil awkwardly backed up, then hurried off. I turned back to Miles. "So I guess that's the end of that, isn't it?"_

"_I can make it work. We can say we made up, and…" Miles started._

"_No, Miles, you've done enough," I said, shaking my head. I looked up into his eyes and could tell Miles wished he could take it back. I knew he wanted to be there for me. "It's okay. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself," I smiled. He put his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close to me. Our last hug as a 'couple.' I kissed the side of his neck softly. He let me go slowly and I smiled at him. "Thank you," I said. He nodded somberly. I turned and headed back to my house. He didn't follow. When I reached the house, I sat down on the porch, leaning against a column. Who was I going to get to play house with me next? Maybe I could just convince Horace to finally change his stupid rules._

"_Carmen," I heard Phil call. I rolled my eyes and dropped my head onto my knees. This is so not the time… "I need your help at orientation tomorrow," He said, stepping up onto the porch next to me._

"_Orientation?" I asked, keeping my head in my lap._

"_Yeah, we've got new recruits coming in in the afternoon. I need you to help people at the training center with me," He said. I sighed… of course he wanted me to work with him._

"_Can't I hand out jumpsuits or something?" I asked, still refusing to look up at him._

"_No, we've filled all the other positions. We really need you on the job, Carmen," He said. I looked up at him and he smiled in that weasel kind of way. I grimaced._

"_Fine…" I mumbled out. He smiled ecstatically._

"_Then maybe afterwards, we can have dinner together?" Phil asked. I angrily shook my head._

"_Phil, Miles and I just broke up. Do you think you could have the decency to just wait a few God damn hours?" I asked angrily. He was going to reply, but I stood up and walked into the house, slamming the door behind me. I leaned against the door a moment in exhaustion. I slowly brought my hand back to my necklace and thought of Boone. If only he was here, it wouldn't be so hard. I looked at the dining room table. Juliet and Jim must have had a celebratory dinner for her success with Amy. The clock on the wall said it was 11:30. They were in bed by now. I sat down at the table and looked at the scraps that remained. A note laid beside a clean plate. It said: 'Here's dinner! Clean up leftovers!' It was in Juliet's tidy handwriting. I ate some of the pasta, but didn't feel too hungry. I ended up replacing most of the food in the fridge in Tupperware containers and tossing my plate in the sink. I went into my room and took off my Dharma jumpsuit, leaving me in just my tank top, underwear, and necklace. I sighed as I plopped down on to the bed, inching my toes down under the sheets. I dreamed of Boone that night. I dreamed that we were walking on the beach, eating mango and laughing at each other's bad jokes._

* * *

_I woke up to the phone ringing, interrupting a perfectly happy dream. Jim must have answered it. I rolled over and closed my eyes again, drifting back off into sleep._

**Yay! The next episode is going to be a completely original one, which will answer some of your questions about things said in this chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	83. Coming of Age

**Alright, I'm going to answer all those questions I know you felt arise in the last chapter. Here we go! Oh, and this takes place in 1976. Alright, here's Coming of Age!**

My second birthday on the island, come and gone. I was officially 18. Yet, I felt no different from before, other than the fact that I was allowed to hold a real job. I almost felt excited to finally be wearing my mechanic's uniform. I had been watching Juliet work on the vans for so long, it was exciting to finally be able to get in there and do work myself.

"Hey," Phil said to me, sitting down across from me. He sat his tray down and began to nibble at his potato chips.

"Hi, Phil," I said. Within the last month, Phil's interest in me has heightened a ridiculously annoying amount.

"How are you?" He asked, smiling.

"Peachy. You?" I asked back, taking a bite of my sloppy joe.

"I'm good," He answered. A brief silence fell over us. "So, I was wondering… the sub just brought in a bunch of new movies. Do you maybe wanna come over tonight and we can have dinner and watch Bad News Bears?" He asked. I put my sandwich down at looked suspiciously at Phil.

"Are you… are you asking me on a date, Phil?" I asked. His cheery smile faded a little, and a nervous grin replaced it.

"Yeah, well… yeah," He answered awkwardly.

"Aren't I… a little young for you?" I asked him. He laughed a little.

"I'm only 29," He said. That's still eleven years older than me. Ew. "Besides, I mean… you're going to have to start going on dates soon, right?" He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well… you're 18 now. You've come of age," He said, as if I should know what he was talking about. I shook my head in confusion. "Horace hasn't told you?" He asked. Something inside me flared up in anger. I got up, leaving my tray on the table and hurried out of the cafeteria. I tromped over to Horace's house and knocked on the door.

"Horace?" I called. No one answered. I pounded more on the door, needing someone to explain to me what was going on.

"Carmen?" Someone asked behind me. I turned around to see Miles in his security jumpsuit. "What's wrong?" I stepped off Horace's porch and walked over to Miles.

"Phil asked me on a date," I angrily spit out. Miles laughed.

"What?" He asked through his giggles.

"It's not funny!" I yelled at him, pushing his shoulder. "He said something about my coming of age."

"That's creepy… I'm sorry," Miles said, trying to hold back his chuckles. I shook my head and laughed a little myself. "Look, he's probably just trying to get you to go on the date with him. He's been after you a while."

"I just turned 18!" I said.

"Yeah, but that hasn't stopped him from hitting on you before!" Miles answered. I grimaced and slumped over. Of all the nasty men in the Initiative, why did it have to be Phil? "Don't worry… I'm sure it's nothing." I smiled at him and he gave me a small friendly hug. "Poor you," He said, referring to Phil. I smacked his chest and he moved away, laughing. I smiled at him. Jerk… he was right though. Phil was probably just being creepy.

* * *

I pulled the bandana off the top of my head.

"I think we did it," Juliet said. I let out a brief sigh.

"I think so," I replied. I slammed down the hood of the jeep, and Juliet moved to the driver's seat. She turned the key in the ignition, and it started. I clapped my hands. "Hell yeah," I smiled. She turned off the car and laughed.

"Good job," She said, patting my back.

"Carmen," I heard someone call me. Horace came over. Phil and Jim were shortly behind him. I stepped out from in front of the jeep.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Can we talk?" Horace asked. I looked to Juliet and nodded.

"What's going on?" Juliet asked.

"You come, too," Jim told her. I pulled off my gloves and followed them all back to our house. Jim led everyone inside. I went immediately to the kitchen sink and washed my hands, removing the oil. After drying my hands, I sat down on the couch with Juliet and Jim. Horace sat across from us, and Phil stood beside him.

"So… what's going on?" I asked. I felt like something bad was about to happen.

"Well, first of all, let me congratulate you again on your eighteenth birthday," He said. I nodded. "As you know, we don't have a large number of children and teenagers in the initiative, so there isn't frequently a need for this policy. I didn't remember it, but Phil here has been kind enough to remind me of it." I shook my head.

"What policy?" I asked.

"You see, The Dharma Initiative is a group of likeminded people. We all believe in the greater good, improving our world, and expanding our horizons," Horace explained. "It can be difficult to find people that fit this mold, so when we have likeminded people already together, we highly encourage that they date within the same circles." I shook my head and looked between Juliet and Jim.

"I don't… understand," I said.

"There's a clause in the contract you all signed when you were officially inducted. It's the 'Coming of Age' clause. It states that when a young woman hits the age of 18, she is required to start dating within the Initiative if she's not already married or in a committed relationship. It hasn't been an issue with you, Juliet, because you and Jim already seemed to have a relationship developing when you joined. But now that Carmen's 18, she's going to need to start dating," Horace explained. I shook my head frowning, and looked down at my hands.

"So, what? You're going to force me to be with some guy?" I asked. Horace shook his head.

"Absolutely not. As long as you're making an effort to occasionally date different men, that's all you really need to do," Horace said. I shook my head. That sounded like Rosie, who was basically the Dharma slut. "It's been brought to my attention that men are interested. Phil informed me that he's already asked you to dinner."

"It's not a question of whether or not men are interested, Horace," Juliet intervened. "She just turned 18. That doesn't seem right to make her look for a spouse now. Why can't she just do it on her own time? On her terms?"

"I don't make the contracts, Juliet, I just lead the faction here. This isn't my rule. It's the Initiative's," Horace explained.

"It's fine Juliet, it won't kill her to date," Jim said. I turned to him angrily.

"As you serious?" I spat out the words as they left a foul taste in my mouth.

"James, this isn't fair to her," Juliet said.

"Thank you," I said to Juliet.

"What's wrong with her going on a few dates? She's an adult, she can date," Jim said.

"But you're forcing her, James," Juliet countered.

"This isn't fair!" I yelled over everyone. Everyone quieted. I stood up.

"Carmen, I think if you just give me a chance…" Phil started. I stormed past him and out the front door. I ran down through the valley and out through the trees. I couldn't hear anyone following me, but I didn't stop. I kept running. I flew through the trees until I reached the open field lined with pylons. The fence would be on… there was nowhere left to run. I dropped to my knees in front of the pylon fence. I was just a bird trapped in a cage. No escape, nowhere to turn; completely at the mercy of my captors. Juliet seemed to understand, but James didn't. Horace didn't. I heard a motor near me. Before I could get to my feet and run away, a jeep came out of the jungle. The engine turned off and Miles got out of the car with Jin. Jin hurried over to me.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Leave me alone," I said, standing and walking away.

"Carmen, wait…" Miles hollered. I turned around. Miles said this would be okay, but he was wrong.

"They're making me date Phil!" I yelled. I was so upset, I could feel tears climbing in my throat.

"What?" Miles asked.

"They are making me date Phil. Or any other guy that decides I'm pretty enough for them!" I spitefully yelled.

"How can they do that?" Jin asked. I shook my head; I didn't know how to explain.

"It's a rule… every woman has to date within the initiative," I said, looking away.

"Well, maybe we can get Horace to change the rule," Miles said.

"Horace is the one enforcing it!" I yelled. I could finally feel tears brimming my eyes. I let gravity take me and I fell to the ground, sitting down, pulling my knees in to my chest.

"Jin, why don't you take the jeep back. I'll walk Carmen back to camp," Miles said.

"You're sure?" Jin asked. Miles didn't answer, but I heard Jin walk away. Miles sat down next to me as I heard the jeep start up and drive away. Miles moved in close to me and wrapped his arm around me. I leaned in to him and held my face close to his chest.

* * *

We stepped through the jungle softly, moving back to the barracks.

"What's so wrong with dating, though? I mean… usually, girls your age like dating," Miles said, weaving through the trees next to me.

"It's not about that," I said. "It's the fact that they're making me. And, well…" I decided I could open up to Miles. "I don't know… the last guy I opened up to was Desmond, and he kind of stabbed me in the back. And before that, it was Boone, and… well, I really cared about him."

"What happened to him?" Miles asked.

"He died," I said. My fingers so longed to find the necklace around my neck, but I kept my hands at my sides.

"Oh… sorry," He said. We were silent a moment.

"It's just… I've been fine on my own, you know? James has Juliet now, and Jin doesn't need me… no one needs me. No one has needed me for a couple years now. And I've gotten used to that, I'm okay with that. I'm just afraid that… as soon as I let some guy in, I'm gonna lose whatever sense of stability I have," I said.

"So what are you gonna do?" Miles asked me. I had cried out everything. All I could do now was accept it.

"Grin and bear it, I guess," I said. "But I'll be damned if I end up marrying Phil." Miles laughed a little at that, and I ended up smiling a little. I felt Miles getting closer to me.

"Wait," Miles said. We stopped, and he smiled a little. "I have an idea."

"I'm all ears," I said. He smiled wider.

"Why don't we pretend to date?" Miles asked. I shook my head.

"Pretend to date?" I repeated.

"Yeah… I mean, Jin's too attached to his wife, Jim is supposed to be your uncle, Dan's leaving for Ann Arbor… so I could pose as your boyfriend. We'd go on dates and just hang out, you know, and you'd just be able to be single as long as you wanted," Miles suggested. It sounded like a great plan. But it would be so much for Miles to do for me.

"Miles, you don't have to do that," I said.

"No," He interrupted. "I want to." I smiled.

"You'd do that for me?" I asked. He smiled a little and nodded back at me. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. It was just a friendly hug, but Miles doing this meant so much to me. No creepy dates with Phil, no weird older men trying to court me. He was a life saver. "Thank you, Miles."

* * *

Miles and I walked back into the barracks with smiles on our faces, laughing and giggling.

"Carmen!" Jin yelled. He ran over to us. I looked to Miles and smiled.

"I'll let him know. I'll tell Dan, too," He said. I nodded.

"I'll let Jim and Juliet know," I said. I looked across the field to see Phil approaching us. I looked up at Miles and smiled, hugging him. I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but Miles turned his head and I kissed his lips. It was the first time I'd kissed a man in a long time… about two years. When I pulled away, I smiled, blushing. Miles smiled back, seeming satisfied. I laughed a little and walked past a very confused Jin. Phil had stopped in his tracks, thankfully, and I walked up the sidewalk to my house. When I reached the door, I could hear yelling. I opened the door to see Juliet and Jim yelling at each other loudly, pointing and flailing their arms about. They were arguing about me.

"Hey!" I screamed, alerting them to my presence.

"Carmen!" Juliet softly whispered, coming over to me.

"Carmen, you okay?" Jim asked simultaneously, approaching me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Actually, I'm great. Miles and I worked everything out," I said.

"What do you mean?" Juliet asked. I laughed and shrugged.

"He's going to pretend to be my boyfriend," I said softly, smiling. The two silenced and backed away a little, surprised. I squeezed between them and headed back to my bedroom.

* * *

I woke up to a light tapping at my window. I sat up and looked out to see no one there. I rubbed my eyes and turned on my light when it happened again. I looked out to see someone hurrying away from the window. Probably some kid out of bed after hours. I stood up and put my robe on over my nightgown. I left my bedroom and walked out the front door, looking around. I heard someone around the side of the house. I turned the corner to see a dark figure in the shadows. I smiled a little and approached them.

"Isn't it past your bedtime?" I asked. Suddenly, someone was behind me with their hand over my mouth, grabbing me around my waist. I screamed in surprise and terror as I realized that these weren't my people. The other person emerged from the shadow in ragged clothing. These were hostiles. He grabbed my legs, and the two men carried me off into the woods while I screamed. Could no one hear me? Was no one going to come and help me? How did the hostiles get past our security systems? They carried me quite a ways. I struggled and kicked and screamed until finally one of my ankles escaped the hold of the one man. I kicked him in the face. He dropped my legs and the man holding me around my waist lost his grip. I threw back my head and hit what I thought was his crotch. He let go of me and I got to my knees and started crawling away. I struggled to my feet and ran forward, stumbling over the loose roots and rocks on the ground. A root finally got the better of me and I fell. Before I could stand back up, a gun clicked. I knew it was pointed at me. I looked up to see a man pointing it down at me.

"Put it down," I heard a familiar voice order. I turned around to see Richard, his face illuminated by a torch. The man lowered his gun. I stood up and faced Richard, panting frantically. "Carmen," He nodded to me. I pulled my robe tighter around me. "I'm sorry for the dramatics, but I wanted to talk to you alone." I looked around at all the others around me. There were at least four other men here.

"About what?" I finally asked.

"We heard about your predicament today," Richard answered. "The 'coming of age' clause." I nodded.

"And?" I asked.

"Well, I thought I'd offer you another chance," He said. I squinted in the fire's glow.

"Chance at what?" I asked.

"To leave them. Come back with us. We won't force you to do anything you don't want," He said. I looked around me. What would happen if I said no? I decided to take my chances.

"No… I can't leave my friends," I said. Richard sighed and looked closely at me.

"Carmen… I want you to really think about what you're doing…"

"I am," I snapped. "I'm staying here." He nodded.

"Alright, then," He said. With that, his men retreated. He doused his light and walked away. "Goodnight, Carmen." I watched them all leave, retreating into the dark shadows behind them. I turned around and started heading back to the barracks, terrified of what the shadows around me held. When I finally reached the barracks, I ran inside. I was about to pound on Sawyer's door and insist they go after the hostiles, but I reconsidered. What if one day I would want to leave with them? My pact with Miles couldn't last forever. I lowered my hand. I wouldn't rat them out… no, not this time. I went to the bathroom and took a shower, washing the dirt and scratches on my body. I went back to bed, but I didn't fall back asleep.

* * *

"You should join security," Miles suggested as I ate my turkey sandwich. "We could use a girl."

"No, I think I'm good," I laughed. "It's kind of nice to not have to wield a gun all the time." He laughed with me a moment. Miles turned to look at the door as someone came in.

"Mm, he's here," He said. I followed his gaze to see Phil. I looked back down briefly at my sandwich.

"Alright, ready?" I asked him. He put down his food and brushed off his fingers, nodding. I laughed really loudly, covering my mouth. Miles joined in and we laughed together in a happy, excited tone. I made a sweet moan and stood, leaning over the table. I kissed him on the lips, lightly at first. But Miles took it further. His lips parted first, and mine followed. It wasn't a French kiss or anything, but definitely more intimate than a peck. When I pulled back, I stayed standing for a moment, just looking back into his eyes. Eventually, I sat back down. I briefly looked over at Phil, who wore a frustrated grimace and briefly looked back up at me. I smiled to myself, and then to Miles, who smiled right back.

**Understand? Yay! Next will be Namaste, where some very big developments occur!**


	84. Namaste

**Alright, I'll be the first to admit that I haven't been spending my break time wisely… but, hey, sometimes you just need a break. Alright, here's Namaste!**

I rolled over. I wasn't sure if the knocking I heard was at my front door or in my head. I pulled a pillow over my head. Yet the knocking persisted. I groaned loudly and kicked my legs a little. Damn it. I threw the pillow off my head and sat up. I looked at my clock, pulling the hair out of my eyes. 9:14. I had to get up anyways. I walked out of the bedroom to realize that I was only in my tank top and underwear still. I thought about going to put more clothes on, but whoever was at the door continued to knock urgently. I looked into Juliet's and Jim's room; both of them were gone. Someone knocked more at the door, yelling my name.

"Relax, I'm coming!" I yelled back, rubbing my eyes. I turned the doorknob and hid my body behind the door, opening it just a crack so that I could see who was there. "Sweet Jesus, Phil, what is it?"

"I still need you to help today," He said. I shook my head.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"New recruits are coming in in a couple of hours… since Amy just had her baby, we're trying to let her and Horace relax, so you need to work," Phil explained.

"Geez, Phil, there was no one else's door you could pound on this morning?" I griped.

"Amy wanted me to get you, so I'm getting you…"

"Damn it, Phil," I said, trying to shut the door.

"You need to be out here at eleven," He said.

"Fine," I snapped back as the door slammed in his face. Phil. God damn Phil. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of Dharma brand capn' crunch. I ate slowly. By the time I had finished, it was almost ten. I washed my dishes and jumped into the shower. I heard someone come into the house, and I heard them leave again before I got out of the shower. I slowly dried my hair and put it up in a sloppy bun. I went into my room and put on a clean tank top and my Dharma jumpsuit. I examined my hair in the mirror… if I was going to meet someone better than Phil to spend forever with on this island, I'd better look presentable. I put on some foundation and mascara. I looked at my hair, trying to figure out what I should do with it. I glanced a look at the clock to see how much time I had. It was 11:42. "Shit." I zipped up my jumpsuit and ran out of my bedroom and out the front door. Throwing it closed behind me, I ran across the field to the orientation center, where recruits were already lining up. As I neared it, I saw Phil.

"Where were you?" I heard him call to me, griping and holding two binders in his hands.

"I'm here now," I said, taking a binder from him. I opened it up to see three stacks of pamphlets in the pockets. One was entitled, "Dharma Motor Pool;" I assumed it talked about checking out the vehicles for use. The second red pamphlet was entitled, "Dharma Cafeteria." It listed details of health protocols here and how menus are structured (I thought about slipping in a note to each pamphlet suggesting cooking for yourself). The last pamphlet was entitled, "Getting to Know Your Way Around." I opened it up to see it had a map of everything in the barracks. I put it back in my binder.

"Just welcome people in, make sure they aren't reacting negatively to the sedative, check their names off on the lists, and distribute those little pamphlets, alright? And if you have any questions, you can…"

"I think I got it, Phil," I interrupted him. I went to the front of the line, where a young, dweeby man in a green shirt stood.

"Hello," I said, feigning a peppy smile. He smiled awkwardly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm, uh, I'm… fine," He nervously stuttered. I smiled wearily. Great… another Phil.

"Good," I said through barred teeth. "Could I get your name?" I asked him.

"Uh, it's Bryan. Bryan Fontaine," He said, though it sounded more like a question. I checked his name off my list.

"Nice to meet you Bryan," I smiled. I pulled out one of each of the pamphlets in my stack. "Alright, Bryan, here are some little pamphlets that will help you get to know how things work around here. And in just a moment you'll be processed just inside this building," I explained. He smiled nervously and hesitantly nodded. I was about to move on to the next person when he stopped me.

"What was your name again?" Bryan asked.

"Oh, I'm Carmen," I said, shaking his hand.

"A word, Carmen," I heard from behind me. My eyes rolled back in my head as if I'd just been prodded with a big stick.

"What, Phil?" I asked, annoyed.

"Start with your name, it's a lot friendlier," Phil said.

"Oh my God, Phil, get off my back," I said, walked on past a few people to get away from Phil. I forced a smile.

"Hi, my name is Carmen," I said, reaching my hand out to a woman. She smiled excitedly.

"I'm Elizabeth," She said. I shook her hand and looked down at my list.

"Elizabeth Browning?" I asked. She nodded enthusiastically. I picked up three pamphlets to give to her. "How are you feeling?" I asked as I removed the pamphlets from the binder.

"Good… a little loopy, but good," She giggled. I smiled.

"That's to be expected. Here," I said, giving her the pamphlets. "That's some light reading material on how things work here on the island." I looked up as I heard a van approach. Jim was pulling up in a van full of recruits. I looked back to the woman.

"Um, I have a question. I'm a vegan. Does the cafeteria here have vegan friendly options?" She asked. I nodded.

"Of course. Horace Goodspeed, who sort of runs the show here, is a vegan and eats at the cafeteria most of the time. But you can also buy food at the cafeteria to cook at your home," I explained.

"Oh, good. I was worried I may have to give up my diet," She said. I shook my head.

"Of course not," I smiled. She smiled back. "If you have any other questions, let me know." She smiled and nodded and I moved on to the next person in line, who was a tall woman in a long, ugly, brown skirt. I smiled at her nonetheless. She gave me a sort of grimace in return, either indicating she didn't like me, or she was constipated. "Hello, my name is Carmen," I said, putting my hand forward for her to shake. She looked down at it disapprovingly. Fine, lady, you wanna be a bitch, be a bitch. "Name?" I asked, dropping the fake chipper attitude.

"Loretta Hensley," She said. She spoke as if she was uncomfortable and stiff. She really may have been constipated. I checked her name off of my list.

"You're feeling well?" I asked her.

"Well, I'm quite hot," She explained. I looked up at her.

"That's because we're in the tropics," I explained. Her eyes narrowed as if she had decided that I was not, indeed, to be trusted. I thrust my hand clutching the three pamphlets towards her. "Read these." She took them from me, and I looked back down at my binder, moving on to the next person in line. I looked over the top of the binder at people's feet. There weren't too many people left in line… I must've walked to the end of the line when I stormed away from Phil. I shook my head in dismissal, deciding I didn't care. "Hello, my name is Carmen, welcome to the island. Can I get your name?" I asked.

"Uh… Hugo Reyes," A familiar voice said. I smiled a little to myself. Hugo… that was Hurley's first name. Wait… Hugo Reyes was Hurley's name… that voice... I quickly looked up to see his round face staring back at me an uncomfortable smile on his face. I could feel my body stiffen with shock. I looked past him. Jack and Kate were standing behind him. I could feel the binder slip from my grip and the pencil slip between my fingers, but I couldn't move.

"Something wrong?" I heard from behind me. Jim came up to me, a smile on his face. I looked back to Hurley, then at him, as if I were pointing and shouting 'they're here!' Jim put his hand on my shoulder. "New recruits, fresh off the sub. What was your name again?" Jim asked Hurley.

"Uh, Hugo. Reyes," Hurley said again. Jim bent down to pick up my binder and pencil.

"See, here's his name," Jim said. I looked at the sheet, knowing his name couldn't be there. But there it was. Jim put a little check next to his name and offered me the binder. I felt tears welling in my eyes, but I knew what was going on. Jim was trying to pass them off as new recruits. I wiped my eye quickly and took the binder and pencil.

"Uhm, of course, Hur-, I mean Hugo, I'm sorry, I, uh… had a frog in my throat," I said. I smiled at him for a moment, too shocked to think of something else to say. I reverted back to what Phil said. Ask them how they are, give them pamphlets, move on. "Um, how are you feeling?" I asked.

"What?" Hurley slowly answered.

"Since you, uh… woke up on the sub. How do you feel?" I asked.

"Oh! Fine, yeah, fine," Hurley stuttered. I smiled.

"Good, um… here's some pamphlets on living here. You can peruse them while you wait," I said.

"Peruse," Hurley repeated. I laughed a little.

"Yeah," I smiled. I moved on to Jack.

"Could I get your name?" I asked, continuing the act. Jack put his hand out.

"Jack. Jack Shepard," He said. I smiled and shook his hand.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Great," He answered as we withdrew our hands.

"Great," I answered. I handed him the pamphlets. "These will answer most questions you'll have, but if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me. Oh, um… my name is Carmen," I said. He smiled a little to himself.

"It's great to meet you Carmen," He said. I smiled. I looked back at Kate.

"Hello," I said to her, putting my hand in front of me. "My name is Carmen."

"Kate," She answered, shaking my hand. I continued my speech and gave her the pamphlets while we stared into each others' eyes. It was like our mouths were complete strangers, but our eyes had been familiar for several years. I watched as the three were ushered into the orientation room. I saw Juliet approaching from behind me.

"Juliet!" I called to her in a half whisper-half scream. "They're here! They came back, they…"

"I know," She said. She smiled a little at me, but it seemed very half-hearted. She moved past me into the orientation building in a fluster. I followed after her to see her say something to Kate and Phil. Phil moved away and she then welcomed Kate.

"Good work, Carmen," Phil said behind me, but I was half out of it.

"What?"

"Good work… the recruits all look really jazzed," He said. I smiled at Kate as she moved to the table to get her work assignment.

"Yeah," I smiled. Suddenly, I felt Phil's fingers brush over mine as he closed the binder that I held close to my chest.

"I can take that," Phil said. I felt fury rise in my chest as I realized how close to me he'd gotten. I thrust the binder into his chest and started to storm away. "Carmen," He called after me. I stopped and turned back to face him. He looked around himself, then approached me. He came very close to me and one hand touched a sun bleached ringlet of hair that had fallen from my bun as he talked quietly in my ear. "Maybe after orientation, we can go have dinner at my place. Just the two of us." I jerked back in disgust. He smiled smugly. I bit my lower lip and looked over his shoulder to see Jack watching the two of us. I looked back at Phil and the same fury rose up through my throat as before. I slammed open the door and hurried back to my house.

* * *

I looked out my window to see if things had picked back up yet. I wanted to talk to Hurley, Jack and Kate, but I didn't want to draw attention to us talking. They were all getting ready to take their recruit picture. I stepped out of the house and walked over to the group as they were beginning to disperse. Phil was giving another monotonous speech as I approached. Suddenly, a van pulled up between me and the group. Jim got out of the driver's seat and Jin got out of the other front seat. They opened up the back seat to reveal Radzinsky from the Flame Station, escorting… Sayid. I stood rooted to the ground as they escorted a handcuffed Sayid to the security station. I ran forward with a sudden jolt to Jim.

"Jim!" I called. "I need to talk to you…"

"Not now," He said, continuing forward with Sayid in tow. Sayid and I made eye contact for a brief moment. I could see the confusion and worry in his eyes, but also the excitement of seeing me again, safe and alive. I watched him disappear into the security building.

* * *

As night fell over the island, I left the house again. I'd watched where Kate went and knew where she lived. I hurried to her house and knocked on the door as casually as I could. She answered and seemed surprised to see me. I noticed she wore a motor pool jumpsuit identical to mine, but had her sleeves tied around her waist. I smiled at her, trying to think of an excuse to have come over.

"Hi, um, we met at orientation," I said.

"Oh, yes, Carmen, right?" she asked. I nodded, smiling.

"Yes, um… I was just wanting to check that the plumbing in your house got fixed. It was kind of slow moving a while back," I said. She nodded.

"Oh, sure… do you want to come in?" Kate asked, catching my drift.

"Please," I said, stepping inside. She closed the door behind me and I relaxed a little. I stepped back towards her and hugged her. I couldn't remember if I'd ever hugged Kate before, but if I had, I'm sure it hadn't been like this. It was good to see her. I'd assumed I'd never see her again. "How are you?" I asked.

"A little shaken up, but… in one piece," She said as we let go of each other.

"How did you get back?" I asked her.

"We um… got on a plane, and it, uh… it crashed," She said.

"But… how did you get here? Like… now?" I asked. She laughed.

"You mean in 1977? I don't know," She shook her head.

"So, you, Sayid, Jack, and Hurley… did anyone else come back?" I asked.

"Sun. And Ben was on the plane. And Frank was our pilot," She said.

"Lapidus?" I asked. She nodded. "Where are they?"

"Don't know," She answered, leaning against a column in her living room.

"That it?" I asked, knowing fully well that Aaron got off the island, too.

"Uh… yeah," Kate said. I nodded. I wasn't going to ask anything else about Aaron. It seemed a sensitive subject. "He um… he's married now." I looked up at Kate, confused.

"What? Who?" I asked. Kate looked like she'd made a mistake.

"I… uh… well, I thought you meant Desmond when you asked if anyone else was coming, and… I'm sorry, it was presumptious…"

"No, it's fine," I said, laughing a little. I hadn't thought about Desmond in such a long time. "He's married? To Penny?" I asked.

"Yeah," Kate answered. I nodded. Things got awkwardly quiet. "You've grown up so much," She said, smiling at me. I laughed a little.

"Only on the outside," I said. After a little while, I left, not wanting to cause any suspicion in my staying long. We waved goodbye and I walked back home, closing the door quietly to my living room.

"We have a guest," Jim said from his reading corner.

"What?" I asked as I looked up at him. Jack stood only feet away, calmly smiling at me. "Jack," I muttered quietly. I walked to him and hugged him around the waist. I pulled away, smiling up at him.

"Carmen, wow," He said under his breath. "Look at you. All grown up," He said, smiling. I brushed my hair behind my ear and smiled.

"Yeah… all grown up," I smiled back.

"You, um… you with that guy from orientation?" Jack asked.

"Who?"

"That guy with the black hair," He said. "I saw you two talking earlier."

"Oh, Phil? God, no. I mean, he wishes, but… God, no," I laughed. I looked to Jim.

"Funny story, really… Carmen has actually been with Miles now for quite some time," Jim said.

"Miles? From the freighter, Miles?" Jack asked, confused.

"Not really, no," I said to Jack, then turned to Sawyer. "And not anymore, Jim. Long story that I'm not in the mood to tell." Jim looked worried.

"Well, hold up, what happened?" Jim asked.

"Please, James, you don't have to be Uncle Jim on this one, okay? I'll figure it out for myself," I said. Jim looked offended, but backed off.

"Uncle Jim?" Jack asked.

"Oh, well... yeah. We had to lie and say that I was his niece so it wouldn't be so suspicious when we came here," I explained. He hesitantly nodded. A knock came at the door. I moved forward and opened it, seeing Hurley. I smiled at him and invited him inside. Jack left almost immediately after our conversation, but Hurley sat on the couch with me for a while.

"So… you've just been working with the Dharma Initiative all this time?" Hurley asked. I nodded.

"Kind of, yeah. It's actually really nice here," I smiled. He looked me over and laughed a little to himself. "What?" I asked self-consciously.

"Nothing, it's just… you're like… an adult, now," He smiled. I looked to Jim.

"Why do they keep saying that?" I asked. He laughed.

"It has been three years, San Diego. You've changed a lot," Jim said, leaning back into his chair, reading his book. San Diego… he hadn't called me by a nickname in so long. I guess having Jack, Kate and Hurley back made him revert back to how things were a little.

"Well, I better bounce, dudes," Hurley said, getting off the couch.

"You sure? I can make tea if you want some," I asked Hurley as I followed him.

"Nah, I'm good. It's been a long day." I nodded. I followed him out on to the porch to say goodbye. I realized a few people were around, so we had to pretend we barely knew each other. "Well, thanks for chillin' with me."

"Anytime. Really, feel free to drop in whenever," I said calmly. He smiled. I hugged him casually, wanting it to be closer. I'd missed Hurley so much. It was good to have a real friend back. When we let go, he smiled.

"Later, dude," He said as he walked off. I leaned against a column on my porch as I watched him go. I looked across the barracks after a moment to see Phil, staring straight back at me from a few houses away. I stood up straight and looked around, nervous that I may have made him suspicious. I went inside quickly, hoping I wasn't too conspicuous.

**Well, now they're back! Shit's gonna hit the fan... I'll try to write again soon!**


	85. He's Our You

**I honestly don't have time to write right now, but here I am doing it anyways. I got to go offroading today in my jeep, and all I could think about was Hurley riding around in the Dharma van in circles in the valley! I decided it was time to write again… sorry, it's been so long but I've been really busy; I'm one of the leads in a new play at my university and I've been busy! Anyways, enjoy He's Our You!**

I let out a deep breath and rolled over to look at my clock. 6:00. I'd been lying there now for almost a full hour. I hadn't slept much all night; my mind was reeling with thoughts of Jack, Kate and Hurley, and wondering what would happen to Sayid. I sat up in bed; 6:00 was a reasonable time to get up. Maybe I could even get to see Sayid somehow. I'd thought about making him breakfast and taking it in, but I didn't know if it would work. And I knew that Phil was on duty and he'd be a pest. I threw my covers off of my legs and walked to the bathroom, taking a towel out of the closet on my way. I turned on the water and took my pajama shirt off over my head, slipped out of my underwear and stepped under the hot stream of water, sighing as it engulfed me. Suddenly, living here felt like I was lying. I felt nervous and conflicted; having the others back just made me feel like I didn't belong here anymore. I let the water fall over my face and closed my eyes.

* * *

I scraped the scrambled eggs out of the pan and onto a plate. I filled a glass with orange juice and carried both to the door. I opened it quietly, hoping not to wake anyone, and walked out, closing it behind me. I carried the food across the barracks to the security building. I walked down the main stairs and opened the door to see Phil sitting in front of the consoles. He turned in his chair slowly, looking down at a cloth and a gun he was cleaning in his hands. He looked up at me and nervously dropped the gun, jumping to his feet.

"Carmen," He said excitedly. I chuckled a little under his breath as he reached back down for the gun and picked it up, putting it in his pocket. "I was just… well, what are you…" He stammered, then saw the food in my hands. He smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, you shouldn't have…"

"I didn't," I quickly said. Phil quieted. "I um… well, I brought this for the hostile." Phil looked me up and down, not moving a muscle.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because it's breakfast time," I said. Phil was obviously unsatisfied with this answer, but forced a laugh and sat back down. I could see Sayid on one of the monitors in front of Phil. He was standing in his cell, staring at the wall in front of him. "Has he said anything?" I asked, taking a step towards the monitors.

"No," Phil said, looking at the monitor. "Well, not to any of us at least. These cameras don't pick up audio, but I don't think he said anything to the kid."

"What kid?" I asked.

"The Linus boy brought him a sandwich last night," Phil said. I took in a sharp breath, realizing that Sayid must have met Ben.

"Got it… I'm going to go in, do you mind?" I asked, walking towards the door.

"Yeah, whatever," Phil said. I hurried to the cell door and opened it. Sayid looked up, and when his eyes met mine, he stepped forward to the cell bars. I closed the door behind me and hurried to the cell door.

"I um… brought you some breakfast," I said. I slipped the plate with the eggs on it through the small slit in the bars. He grabbed the edge of it, but didn't take his eyes off of me. "How are you?" I asked. He only stared at me, not saying a word. "The camera in here… it doesn't pick up audio. You can talk." It was then that I realized that Sayid wasn't silencing himself for the cameras.

"Last night, a little boy gave me a sandwich. His name was Benjamin Linus," He said. I nodded.

"Yeah... it's uh, 1977… and I know this looks bad, but Jim's gonna get you out of this," I said.

"Then what? What happens after that?" Sayid asked me angrily, pushing his face forward into the bars, almost threateningly.

"Sayid, please, trust me, you're going to be alright. We wouldn't let anyone…" Suddenly the door burst open and Phil hurried in, his gun pointed at Sayid. "Phil, what are you doing!" I yelled.

"What did you say to her?" Phil angrily yelled.

"Phil, stop it! He was thanking me for bringing him food!" I yelled. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back towards him, making the glass of juice almost slip from my fingers.

"I saw him lunge at you, Carmen, what did he say?" Phil yelled, looking threateningly at Sayid, who stared back at him calmly as he grasped the bars of his cell.

"Phil, stop it!" I yelled again.

"What did you say?" Phil screamed. Sayid said nothing. Phil prepared to fire. "You have three seconds, hostile, or I fire! One…" I tensed my arm and threw the glass of orange juice at Phil's hand. The glass broke and Phil dropped the gun, grabbing his hand. His hand had some cuts on it. "Ah! What the hell, Carmen! God, it burns!" He yelled. I grabbed the gun that lay in shattered glass and pulled Phil by his uninjured arm out of the room. I glanced one last time at Sayid, whose expression never changed, before I closed the door. I dropped the gun at Phil's feet. "What the hell? He threatens you, and you cut open my hand…"

"He was thanking me for the food!" I yelled. "He told me that he appreciated people like me being in the Dharma Initiative! Any work I just did to help promote peace between our groups, you just ruined. Thanks a lot, ass hole," I said, walking towards the exit. He was silent, and I didn't think he was going to say anything.

"You know, I saw you last night," He yelled finally. I turned back to face him. "With that recruit. The fat guy."

"Phil, you don't get it! You think I'm just playing this game with you to get you to like me more, when really, I hate you! Everything about you is just despicable! I would rather be alone for the rest of my life then go on a date with you!" I yelled. As soon as I'd said it, I felt my muscles loosen. I had been longing to say that for a long time. Phil was silent, still holding his bleeding hand, but not removing his gaze from me.

"You don't mean that," He said, trying to convince himself more than me. I shook my head; this dumbass was never going to get it.

"Clean yourself up," I said as I stormed out of the building.

* * *

I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Go away," I yelled back.

"Can we talk?" Jim's voice called back through the door.

"Not now, can you please just leave me alone?" I asked.

"Come on, let me in, Carmen," He said. I let out a sigh.

"The door's open," I said, sitting up on my bed and crossing my legs. He opened the door and came in, shutting the door behind him.

"So I just talked to Phil… he said you two had a spat in the security building this morning," He said. I laughed.

"He was going to shoot Sayid, what did you want me to do?" I asked.

"Wait, what?" Jim asked. I laughed.

"Oh, of course he left out that part. What did he tell you?" I asked bitterly. Jim sat down on the edge of my bed.

"He told me you went in to give the hostile food, and he tried to attack you, and when he went in to help you, you threw a glass of juice at him and told him you hated him," He said. I nodded.

"Well… most of that's true. But not all of it!" I said. "I gave Sayid breakfast and he asked me what we were going to do once we got him out, and, yes he was angry, but he didn't attack me. He just lunged at the bars a little. And Phil came in and was going to shoot him, so I threw the glass at his hand to make him drop the gun. Then he said something about me being with Hurley and him being fat, and it made me lose it a little. I told him I hated him, and I've always hated him, and… well… yeah," I finished. Jim sighed.

"Well, I need to have a talk with Phil then," He said, getting up. He was about to shut the door behind him when he stopped. "By the way… I don't think your message sunk in."

"What?"

"He told me all of this because he thought you might be sick or something… thought you might need some medical help because he knows you really care about him," Jim said.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" I screamed, falling back on to my pillows. I screamed in the man's face and it didn't absorb.

"Don't worry about it for now, Carmen… I'll take care of him," He said, walking towards the door.

"Jim… What are you going to do about Sayid?" I asked him.

"Don't worry… I'll figure something out," Jim said. I laid back down as he closed the door. Once he was gone, I pulled a pillow over my head and screamed into it.

* * *

I stared into the distance, lost in thought. Sayid was gone. Jim and the others had taken him somewhere, but I didn't know where.

"Carmen?" Juliet asked me. I snapped back to reality and nodded. I looked back down at the rusty wrench in my mind and went back to polishing it with the oily rag.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm fine," I said. I looked up at her to see Kate leaning on a van. "Getting used to everything?"

"Sort of," She said.

"Don't worry, you catch on quick about how to use all this stuff," I said, putting the wrench back in my labeled tool box. Suddenly, another van showed up right in front of the motor pool. Phil and Radzinsky got out, Sayid in tow. I stepped forward to Kate and Juliet as we watched them take him away. Jim looked at us dismally. I could tell he was short on ideas of what to do with Sayid. He tromped off to catch up with the other men. "Where were they?" I asked Juliet.

"They took him to Oldham," She said.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"Who's Oldham?" Kate asked.

"An insane old coot that lives in a teepee in the jungle," I said, stepping forward to go complain to Jim.

"Carmen, stop. Jim tried to make things work… he was adamant that he wasn't going to let Jim help him," Juliet said.

"Why not?" I asked. She shrugged. I watched them disappear into the security building and dragged myself back to my toolbox.

* * *

I sat in the kitchen with Juliet, looking at the clock.

"Should we start without him?" I asked. I was starving, and I didn't know if Jim was coming home anytime soon. Sayid had kind of made his schedule busy. Juliet sighed, then smiled at me.

"Sure. Why not?" She said. She put some salad on her plate, and passed the bowl to me. I quickly dropped the salad onto my plate, then went for the rigatoni she'd made and scooped it onto my plate.

"So is Amy going to give you that training anytime soon?" Juliet asked.

"I don't know… she's been really inconsistent ever since she gave birth," I said. I wasn't in any rush to get my training to be a teacher here, though… for some reason, it felt like we were just waiting for everything to blow up in our faces.

"Well… maybe soon," Juliet said, just perpetuating the conversation. We sat in silence a moment, just filling our mouths with food. "So how has Miles been?"

"Oh… I don't know. We haven't really talked much since we broke up," I said.

"Yeah, what happened there? Jim told me you weren't seeing him anymore, but he never said why," She asked.

"Well, we weren't ever really seeing each other in the first place," I said. Juliet laughed a little. "What? We weren't!"

"You say that, but you know that's not true," She said.

"What? Of course it is," I said.

"Carmen, think about it. Miles wouldn't just do a favor for someone like that. Be exclusive with a girl without the benefits of it?" She said. I shook my head.

"Well… that was just the problem with it. He cheated on me, or… well, he kissed Casey," I said. Juliet stopped mid-bite for a moment before continuing.

"Oh gosh… I'm sorry, Carmen," She said.

"Hey, it's no big deal. Like I said, we weren't really together, so…" I trailed off. I looked down at my plate. I could tell Juliet was giving me a look, but I didn't meet it with my gaze. Suddenly, we heard a crash. I dropped my fork and looked up at her. "What was that…"

"I don't know," She said, standing up. I stood as well and we went out on to the porch to see a flaming van crashed in to the front of a house. I looked to Juliet, but she wasn't looking at the van. She was looking across the way to see Jim standing with Kate on her porch. I ran to the flaming van. People all ran to meet us. I ran to the side of the house to see Beth with Kate.

"Beth! Was anyone else in the house?" I asked her as she coughed.

"Ryan! Ryan.." She stammered. I looked at the broken window behind her and I jumped through it.

"Carmen!" Kate called after me, but I ignored her.

"Ryan!" I called through the house. The flames were quickly spreading. A flame jumped up at me and tried to lick my face. "Ryan!" I called.

"I'm here!" He yelled. He was in the living room, his hands above his head. "I can't find Beth!"

"She's out, just come on!" I yelled, grabbing his hand. We ran to the window Beth had broken out of and I pushed him in front of me to get out first. I followed. We both coughed and Beth grabbed him and they moved away from the burning house.

"Are you insane?" Kate asked as she grabbed my shoulder and I gagged.

"Someone had to go in and get him," I said, wiping the sweat from my brow as Kate walked me away from the burning house.

"Carmen!" I heard someone call. It was Phil. "Oh my God, are you alright? I can take her from here…" He said, trying to push Kate away.

"Phil, go away," I coughed out.

"Carmen!" Someone screamed. I turned quickly to see Miles running to me. He reached me and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Were you in there?"

"I had to help Ryan," I said.

"You went in there? What were you thinking?" Miles asked, brushing my hair back and examining my face. "Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, touching his hand that was holding my cheek.

"Hey, I've got her…" Phil tried to say, grabbing my wrist.

"Leave her alone, man," Miles snapped at him, taking my wrist from him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and walked me away from Phil and Kate. He sat me down on a picnic bench and stood in front of me.

"I'm really fine, Miles," I said.

"You're fine. You were in a burning down building," He said. He pulled a bandanna from his jumpsuit pocket and put a corner of it in his mouth, wetting it. He wiped my cheek and brushed my hair away from my face. We were quiet a moment while the fire was taken care of. "How have you been?" He asked me. I smiled a little up at him.

"Fine… a little hot, but you know," I said. We laughed a little. "I've been fine."

"I've been meaning to talk to you, it's just been really crazy since Sayid got back. Everything that Jim was doing was passed on to me, and… well, you know," He explained. I nodded.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked. He sat down on the bench next to me.

"Well… I miss you. I miss what we had together, and what we…"

"We didn't have anything, though," I said. My eyes met his. "Did we?" He looked down at his feet.

"I didn't think we did, but once it was gone…" Miles trailed off. I looked down at my feet.

"So… have you been seeing Casey?" I asked. He laughed a little.

"No. No, she's been trying to talk to me and everything since it happened, but… no," He said. I could tell he was looking at me, but I didn't raise my eyes yet. "Listen, Carmen, can we… try? Can we really try?" He asked. I looked up at him. He looked like he was being serious.

"Try what?" I asked.

"Us. Us when you're not just trying to avoid Phil, or marriage in general," He said. I looked back down. "Or… was that all it was to you?" He asked softly.

"No!" I quickly looked back up at him. "No, it wasn't, it's just… I don't know, it wasn't real before. We could kiss and be together and it didn't mean anything before."

"But what if it did? Would it really be so different?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I don't know," I answered. We were quiet a moment.

"Carmen?" Miles asked.

"Yeah?" I asked as I slowly looked back up at him. As soon as I was facing him, he pressed his lips against mine. He wrapped his arm around me and held my neck softly, not forcing me towards him, but just gently caressing my neck. When he pulled away, he kept his eyes locked on mine.

"I really want to try for this," He said. I looked down. I honestly felt a reluctance in my chest, but I felt like I couldn't say no. He'd spent such a long time playing boyfriend to me, it was really only fair to date him for a while. I looked back up at him and nodded. He smiled and leaned in and kissed me again, raising his other hand to my cheek.


	86. Whatever Happened, Happened

**Now that I've written one episode, I only want to write more! AHH! Alright, here's Whatever Happened, Happened.**

I sat next to Beth as they emptied the contents of her home that weren't completely scorched. Miles had been helping them until they realized that Sayid had somehow escaped. I felt like I was missing something; did Jim let him out? Someone had to…

"Okay, everybody, listen up!" Horace called out to us. I sat up as he began his speech. "We don't know yet if another attack is coming, so everybody needs to be ready for your security assignments, okay? Make sure you're in contact with your team leaders. LaFleur's got search parties out, but the hostiles got a good jump on us. We're pretty sure he used this fire as a diversion in order to escape…"

"If he was locked up, how could he start the fire?" Jack calmly asked. My shoulders tensed. The last thing Jack needed to do right now was draw attention to himself.

"Who are you?" Horace asked, almost angry.

"Jack- Shepherd, I'm… I'm new."

"Well, Jack, the way he started the fire is he had help, ok? Somebody torched that van, and then that somebody let him out of his cell. And since the security cameras didn't pick up any hostiles crossing the perimeter, that means it was one of us," Horace explained. As soon as he said it, everyone nervously shifted around, looking at each other with accusing eyes. I tried to follow suit; it had to be Jim. But we saw him right after the van crashed. Maybe it was just another elaborate con? "Baxter, I want a full report on clean up A.S.A.P." People began to disperse.

"Who do you think it was?" Beth asked me. I looked at her face. She was incredibly nervous and afraid; I could tell from her expression.

"I don't know…" I answered, looking away. We were quiet for a moment. "Why don't you go over to Ryan's place and take a shower, Beth?" She nodded and slowly got up, moving away. I sat up on the table and watched the people running around. I didn't know what I could do to help. Miles was gone working, Jim was looking for Sayid, Kate was helping with cleanup- I was sitting there doing nothing. A van pulled up alongside the burnt house and stopped jerkily. Jin got out and hurried around to the side. I saw him bend over and pick something heavy up; a child. He carried the small boy towards the infirmary.

"That's my kid…" I heard Roger mumble near Kate. "That's my kid!" He ran after Jin. Ben was hurt. I stood up next to the table and watched as the two carried the boy into the infirmary.

"What happened?" Kate asked me, panicked.

"I don't know," I answered. I watched them go- I was afraid for Ben, but I knew we shouldn't get more involved. It would only raise suspicions. "Go home, Kate," I said.

"What?" She asked, annoyed.

"Go home. If you want to help things, then stay out of them," I said. She looked at me with disappointed frustration. I walked away from her and headed to my house. Things would be better in the morning; hopefully.

* * *

Jim didn't come home all night. At least, I don't think he did. I never saw or heard him. Juliet sat in the kitchen in the morning tapping her fingers on a full cereal bowl. She didn't touch her food. We were all aware of what was going on; things were finally blowing up in our faces. I walked out of the house and into the grassy area in the middle of the barracks. Miles was hurrying across the field with Hurley in tow, heading for Jack's house.

"Miles!" I called. He slowed.

"Hey, I can't really talk right now…"

"What's going on?" I asked as I reached them. Miles looked at me and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Follow me," He said. He continued on with Hurley, and I confusedly followed. As soon as we got in the house, Miles let go of Hurley and pulled out his gun. Jack was leaning on a column by the kitchen and Kate was leaning on a chair.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Jim asked me to put them in a house and not let them leave," He said to me under his breath. I was confused.

"Wanna say that a little louder?" Jack asked. Miles turned to him.

"Right, none of you should leave, and I'm here to enforce that," Miles said.

"You're telling us we're under house arrest?" Jack asked.

"No. You're all free to leave whenever you want. But I'll shoot you in the leg," Miles answered. I shook my head.

"And whose idea was this?" Jack asked.

"Who do you think?" Miles replied. Of course Jim asked him to do this. It made sense, but I could tell Jack wasn't happy about it.

"Sawyer's just doin' his job, Jack," Kate said, defending him. Miles motioned to her, hoping Jack would cool it and not put up a fight. I stood next to the door, considering leaving. There wasn't anywhere else I could really go; until someone figured something out, I would really just have to wait.

"What the hell are you doing, tubby?" Miles asked. I turned around to see Hurley staring at his hand.

"Checking to see if I'm disappearing," He said.

"What?" Miles asked.

"In Back to the Future, man. We came back in time to the island and changed stuff. So little Ben dies, he'll never grow up to be big Ben, who's the one who made us come back here in the first place, which means we can't be here, and therefore, dude, we don't exist," Hurley said. I almost laughed. I rolled my eyes and walked out the front door.

"You're an idiot," I heard Miles say as I closed the door. I didn't want to go through the principles of time travel again. I was walking away from the house when I saw Jim running towards me.

"Jim, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Where's Jack?" He asked in reply.

"In his house. Jim, what's wrong?" I asked again.

"Juliet can't fix Ben…. So I'm getting someone who can," He said, taking off to the house.

"Jim, wait!" I called, but he ignored me. I shook my head. I wanted to talk to him about Sayid, but I guess it would have to wait. But I knew that Jack wasn't going to help Ben. I just knew it.

* * *

I sat on the swing and swayed a little in the wind. I turned to see a van driving away, but the person driving didn't look familiar. It looked like a woman. It was driving away from the infirmary. I got up and hurried over to the infirmary. I burst in the front door to see Juliet fixing up an empty bed. Ben wasn't anywhere in there.

"Where's Ben?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Kate took him," She said.

"What?" I asked, approaching her.

"Jack wouldn't help me patch up Ben, so Kate is taking him to the hostiles," She said.

"What if Horace finds out…"

"Juliet, how's he…" Jim started to say as he walked in. He quickly noticed that Ben was gone. "Where's the kid?"

"Kate is taking him to the hostiles. They're the only ones that can help him now," Juliet said. Jim approached her, frustrated.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you helping Ben?" He asked her. Juliet paused, staring back into his eyes.

"No matter what he's going to grow up to be, he's just a kid. And I can't just let a kid die," She said. The two shared a silent moment. Jim let out a deep sigh. He kissed her forehead, then turned to walk out of the infirmary.

"Where are you going?" I called out after him.

"To help Kate," He said as he left. I smiled a little to myself. After he left, I sat down on a bed with Juliet.

"I couldn't save him," Juliet said eventually. She was silent.

"It's not your fault," I said. "You're not a surgeon…"

"I know that," Juliet answered. "I know all that. I needed a surgeon. And the only surgeon around didn't come," She said. I knew she was talking about Jack. "Why did he even bother?" She asked finally. I shook my head.

"Bother with what?" I asked. Suddenly she got off the bed and hurried out. "Juliet!" I called, but she didn't stop. I got off the bed and walked out of the infirmary after her, but by the time my eyes found her outside, she was almost at Jack's front door. I decided to let her go; whatever she needed to say would be said. I walked home; our lives here were crumbling beneath us.

**This season is rapidly coming to a close! LOOK OUT! **


	87. Some Like it Hoth

**So Dead is Dead doesn't involve any of us folk from 1977, so we're going to move on to Some Like it Hoth!**

I sat on the picnic table in the middle of the barracks, waiting for Juliet to reemerge from Jack's house. When she finally did, she stormed straight from Jack's place back to the infirmary, keeping her eyes glued to the ground in front of her the entire time. I kept my eyes on the ground until I saw a familiar figure pass me. Miles walked passed and kept his eyes to the ground, looking preoccupied. He carried a black drawstring bag in his arms.

"Miles," I said, standing up. He stopped suddenly and turned to see me.

"Carmen, hey," He said. "I can't really talk right now…"

"What's that?" I asked, looking at the bag. He nervously shifted.

"Uh… I gotta go…" He said, starting to turn away.

"Miles, what's going on?" I asked.

"I can't… say," He said. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon." He leaned forward and quickly grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me on the lips before bolting off toward the motor pool. I stood frozen. I felt so uncomfortable, like a stranger had just run up to me and kissed me. I turned around and sat back down on the picnic table, not knowing what to think. I reached my hand up to my neck to feel Boone's necklace dangling on my chest. I felt so incredibly out of place...

"Carmen!" I heard someone call to me. I looked up to see Ryan. "They need you at the motor pool!" I got up and hurried over to him.

"Why? It's my day off," I said.

"Yeah, well Juliet didn't show for work because of Roger's kid and I don't know where that Kate girl is," He said. I nodded.

"Right… I'll just go home and change and I'll be there in a second," I said as I turned and hurried home. I ran into my bedroom and stripped down to just my underwear, bra and camisole. I slipped my jumpsuit on and pulled some of my hair back into a ponytail. I put on my sneakers and hurried back out to the motor pool, getting to work on the toasted van from the accident the other day.

* * *

We got a lot of work done on the exterior of the van. The interior was pretty much fried, so they needed to order a lot of new parts for when the sub came back. Ryan went to the Flame station to give the parts list to Radzinsky, but apparently he wasn't there.

Jim didn't really show up much today… I guessed he was hard at work covering his tracks with the whole Ben situation. I hadn't seen Miles much either. I was sitting on our front porch, watching the sun set, and softly grasping Boone's necklace that lay around my neck.

"Hey," Someone said, snapping me out of my hypnotized state. It was Jack.

"Hey," I replied.

"Sawyer in there?" Jack asked. It took me a second to realize he meant Jim.

"Uh, no… he should be back soon, though, I think. Juliet's inside, if you want to go in." He nodded slowly and thought about it, then entered the house. I leaned back against the porch column and spaced out a little again.

"Hey," Someone said, waking me from my dreamy state again. It was Kate, shuffling towards me.

"Hey," I replied. "How are you?"

"Tired, I guess," She said, smiling. She sat down next to me. I spaced out a little while she made herself comfortable. "How have you been?" She asked.

"Fine… I had to fill in for you and Juliet today, so it's been a little tiring…"

"Oh, right, thanks. But I meant… how have you been?" She asked again. I looked over at her. She nodded at my hand which still clutched the necklace.

"Oh… you mean since…"

"Yeah," She answered quickly. I shifted and leaned back against the porch column.

"Well… I guess fine. I mean…" I slowly stammered and looked down at the necklace in my hands, then back up at Kate. "I missed you guys. All of you guys." We kept our voices low, as if afraid someone would overhear us.

"Me too," She responded slowly. I laughed a little to myself.

"I miss when our biggest problems were trying to get a walkie-talkie signal by hiking up a mountain," I smiled. She smiled back.

"Yeah… or when our biggest project was building a raft?" She reminded me. I laughed.

"Yeah… it's funny how things can seem so difficult at the time, but looking back on them, they were so simple," I said.

"You've done a lot of growing up since then," Kate said. I nodded.

"So have you," I reminded her. She laughed a little, but nodded.

"So you and Miles," She said. My smile seemed to fade a little bit. "You're together?"

"Yeah… I guess," I answered. She gave me a tentative smile. I felt like I needed to elaborate. "It's just… I don't know, we've been pretending to be dating for a long time now…"

"Pretending?" Kate asked.

"Yeah… there was this stupid rule that any woman in the initiative needs to date, so Miles said he'd pretend to date me so I wouldn't have to. I don't know, he was just so nice and relaxed about it then, but then he asked me out for real, and now…"

"So you don't think that whatever you guys had before was anything real?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you guys talk? Did you hang out, just you two, and have dinner together, and kiss?" She asked. I pulled my head back.

"Well… yeah…"

"Then what wasn't real about it?" Kate asked. I shook my head.

"I don't know, it just… it wasn't real for me. I always thought of it as a safety net, not a relationship," I said. She smiled and stood.

"Well I get the feeling that Miles didn't think of it that way," She said. I shook my head. This was getting too messy. "I have to go… talk to you soon?" I nodded. As she walked away, Jim returned home.

"Hey… you okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, standing. He opened the door and let me go in first. I saw Jack sitting on the couch. Once he saw Jim, he stood.

"James, you're back," Juliet said.

"Barely… you ever had one of those days where you feel like a little Dutch boy with your finger in the…" Sawyer said. He trailed off as he noticed Jack was there. "Doc… hey. What's going on?"

"Ben's father thinks that Kate has something to do with his son going missing," Jack stated. Jim nervously looked over at Juliet.

"Why the hell would he think that?"

"Because she talked to him," Juliet said, "tried to make him feel better." Jim let out an annoyed breath as Jack smiled to himself.

"Her heart was in the right place," Jack said.

"Yeah, well where was her head?" Jim asked.

"I had a talk with Roger, I don't think he's gonna say anything to anyone for now. I just wanted you to know," Jack said as he stepped forward to return a mug full of tea to Juliet. "Thank you," He said as he handed it off. Juliet nodded as she took it.

"Yeah, well… thanks for filling me in, doc," Jim said as Jack prepared to leave. Jack nodded.

"No problem." He opened the door and left. Jim followed him out and watched him leave. Juliet went to the kitchen and poured out the tea into the sink. I sat down on the back of the couch and crossed my arms. I could hear Jim talking to someone outside, but I didn't know who it was. After a moment, Jim came back in with Phil trailing behind him. I stood up quickly, annoyed- until I saw that Phil had a security tape in his hand.

"You talk to Horace yet?" Jim asked.

"Nope. I thought that after three years of working together, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt," Phil said. Juliet and I made eye contact. Phil knew something; probably that Jim and Kate took Ben to the hostiles. "And if you are at fault, I thought we could make a deal."

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, slowly approaching him. Phil smiled smugly.

"I want to be the head of security. I want my own personal jeep, and…" Phil slowed and cast a glance at me. "I want Carmen to break up with Miles and move in with me." Jim shook his head.

"Ain't happenin, Phil," He said. Phil smiled and nodded.

"Alright then… I guess I'll just go show this to Hor…" Phil started, and stopped only when Jim's right hook floored him and left him unconscious. I stared, stunned, at Phil.

"Get some rope," Jim said.

**Shit, meet fan. Guys… I CAN'T STOP WRITING! AHHH!**


	88. The Variable

**Sorry it's been a while. In case you haven't been into The Walking Dead, you should check it out. It's structured just like Lost was! Anyway- here's The Variable!**

I sat on the couch, my elbows perched on my knees. I folded my fingers in front of my chest and rested my chin against my clasped hands. Juliet stood in the kitchen, leaning anxiously against the counter.

"So… what now?" I asked Jim. I didn't look up at him; instead, I stared ahead of me at the way the drapes fell over the window, veiling the sunlight streaking in.

"Can't keep the boy shut up in there forever," Jim answered. He silenced. I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, a knock came at the door. I sat up and tensed as I watched Jim. He cautiously grabbed his gun and cocked it. He opened the door just a small crack. "Yeah?" I couldn't see anyone through the door, but I could hear a familiar voice.

"Faraday's back," Jack said.

"What do you mean Faraday's back? Why?" Jim asked.

"I have no idea. He came in on the sub, and he woke me up. He… he started talking nonsense, and then he took off for the Orchid," Jack said. I could see Jim anxiously trying to end the conversation and shut the door.

"I'd love to trade theories with you about this, but I'm a little busy right now," He said, trying to shut the door.

"What are you busy with at 6:00 in the morning?" Jack asked, almost annoyed.

"James," Juliet said from the kitchen. "Tell him." Jim sighed and looked back out the door and Jack.

"Get in here," He said. He opened the door wider and Jack walked in. Jim closed the door behind him. Jack looked to me; he looked confused. Jim led him back to the closet where Phil was tied up. "Phil, one of my security guys, got himself a videotape of me and Kate taking the kid out to the hostiles."

"And where's the tape?" Jack asked from down the hall.

"With Phil."

"And where's Phil?" Jack asked. I heard the closet door open, and Phil's muffled cries.

"Phil, Jack. Jack, Phil," I heard Jim say. The closet door shut again. The two walked back into sight. "We're gonna need everyone to come over at some point; decide what to do next." I sat back on the couch and pulled my knees to my chest, biting my thumb nail.

* * *

I sat on the floor in front of the book case, my fingers gently clasping in my lap. We all sat in silence for a moment. I looked up briefly and made eye contact with Hurley. He looked grimly back at me, and I returned my gaze to my lap.

"All right, people," Jim started. "Party's over. I know ya'll just showed up. The rest of us have been here for the past three years. This is our home," He said, looking at me. I looked back down at my knees. "The last thing I wanna do is leave. But we ain't got no choice."

"Well, that dude in the closet; I thought he worked for you. Can't you convince him that it was all, like, a misunderstanding?" Hurley asked.

"I punched the man in the damn face, Hugo. What am I supposed to say? 'My fist slipped?'" Jim asked.

"How much time do we have before someone realizes he's gone?" Kate asked.

"Not enough," Jim answered.

"So where do we go?" Juliet asked. Jim let out a deep breath.

"We only got two options. We can either commandeer the sub, get the hell of this island before anyone knows we're gone, or… we can head back into the jungle. Start from square one," He said.

"I'm not getting on that sub if there's a chance my wife is still on this island," Jin said.

"Yeah, me neither," Hurley said quickly. "After all we did to get back here? And now we're just gonna run off again? It'd be kinda wishy-washy."

"Right," Jim said. "That's two votes for square one. Anybody else wanna…" Jim stopped short. A knock sounded at the door. "Hold your horses. Be right there," He said. I sat up, twisting my knees under my hips. Jim walked over to the door quickly and picked up his gun. He slowly opened the door, and then flung it open.

"Hey, James," I heard someone say at the door. It was Faraday; I could tell from his voice.

"Welcome to the meeting, Twitchy. Good to see you again. Pound cake's in the kitchen. Help yourself to the punch," He said. Faraday walked in; Miles followed behind him. I saw Jim whisper something to Miles.

"On a whole new level, man," Miles answered. Jim sighed and walked back towards us after shutting the door.

"Great," He said. Faraday ran over to Jack.

"Jack, I'm sorry I was rude before, but what I came to do is of critical importance to everyone in this room. Does anyone know where I can find the hostiles?" He asked.

"Why do you need to know that, Daniel?" Juliet asked.

"Because one of them is my mother. And she is the only person on this island who can get us back to where we belong," He answered.

"Your mother is an other?" Jim asked.

"You met her, actually. When the island was skipping, back in 1954. They were calling her 'Ellie.'"

"You guys were in 1954?" Hurley asked. "Like… Fonzie times?"

"You still haven't told us why you need to find her," Juliet said to Dan.

"I just need to talk to her," He answered.

"I thought you said we were supposed to lay low. 'Whatever happened, happened?'" Jim asked.

"Just tell me where they are, and I'll go…"

"I'm not telling you anything, and you ain't going anywhere unless you wanna share with us what the hell it is you're doing," Jim said.

"Sawyer, he said he can get us back to where we belonged. Whether we go on the sub or we head back into the jungle," Jack said, "we don't belong here."

"Well, I belonged here just fine till you came back, Doc," Jim said. Jack turned to Kate.

"You know where the hostiles are."

"What?" She asked.

"You and Sawyer took Ben out to them. Can you get us back out there?" Jack asked.

"Whoa, hold on a second! Don't say a word, Kate…" Jim said.

"She can say what she wants to say. Kate… you made me promise to never ask what happened to Aaron, or why you came back here. But I know that reason isn't… it isn't here. It's not now," Jack said. I looked up at Kate. What happened to Aaron? I wanted to ask, but I knew that now wasn't the time.

"Whatever her reason is, helping H. G. Wells here talk to his mommy ain't got nothing to do with it. Come with us, Freckles," Jim said. There was a brief moment of silence. I looked up at Kate, then to Jim… and over his shoulder, I saw Juliet, looking reproachfully at Jim.

"The code for the fence is 1-4-1-7-1-7. You should take Daniel. It's over here for us anyway," Juliet said. Jim looked back at her in distress.

"Okay," Kate said. "Let's go."

"Great, great. Thank you. Hey, Miles, can you drive us?" Faraday asked. I looked up at Miles, and his eyes met mine. Keeping eye contact with me, he took his keys from his pocket and tossed them to Dan. They moved towards the door.

"When you realize you've made a huge mistake, we'll be at the beach. Right where we started," Jim said. The three of them left. I looked down at my knees in silence. "All right, the rest of us: pack up anything you can carry, meet back here in twenty minutes." He reached a comforting hand back to Juliet. "Time to go."

* * *

I stood in front of the closet, contemplating opening the door, but unsure if I should do it. I finally opened the door, ready for my revenge. Phil looked back up at me from the floor. He moaned at first, then quieted. I knelt down next to him. He stared at me with a mix of fear and hope.

"You have been pestering me and annoying me for years, Phil," I said quietly, hoping Jim wouldn't hear. "And I dealt with it. I figured you were just another asshole that wouldn't hear me when I said no. But you came in here last night and blew my mind. You expected to make a deal with Jim and somehow get me to fall for you? I'd just move in with you and be your happy little housewife?" I asked. Phil stared back at me, more nervous now. I stood up. I stared down at him a moment. I pulled my knee up and thrust my foot down, kicking him in the nose. He groaned and fell back a little. "Fuck you." I closed the closet door.

I opened up my backpack and moved into the living room. My bag had only a few changes of clothes in it, and my handgun that Jim gave me years ago…. Back when he was Sawyer. Back when I had to have a gun on me to protect myself. I picked the gun up out of my bag and tucked it into the back of my pants, pulling my shirt over it. I would be needing it again. Suddenly, an alarm went off across the barracks. I zipped up my backpack and looked behind me to see Jim come out of his room with Juliet. The front door burst open and Radzinsky rushed in. His face was bloodied and he was panting.

"LaFleur! Where have you been?" He yelled.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, Stu. What the hell's going on?" Jim asked.

"I just got shot by a physicist, and the new recruits are helping him! We've been infiltrated!" He yelled.

"That's ridiculous, now just calm down for a minute. We can talk about this…" Jim said, but was stopped short by a bang… coming from the closet. My eyes widened a little bit.

"What was that?" Radzinsky asked.

"It sounded like it was from outside," Jim said, trying to divert their attention. Radzinsky wasn't fooled, though. He walked back towards the closet. My eyes met Sawyer's. He tried not to give me an obvious expression of worry. I heard the closet door open, and Phil's muffled groans get louder.

"Get down on the ground now," He said angrily. Jim looked back at me and shook his head. "I said now!" He yelled again. Jim and Juliet lowered themselves to the ground, but I stayed standing. My gun was in the back of my jeans. Someone came up to me to push me down to the ground. I could hear Phil being released: if I was going to fight, it needed to happen now. I pulled my gun out of the back of my jeans and pointed it at the man approaching me, Mike.

"Stop there! Don't move!" I yelled. Mike laughed.

"Carmen, drop it, before you hurt yourself..." He started. I averted the gun a little and fired into the wall. He stopped in his tracks.

"Don't move!" I screamed again. "Drop the guns!" I yelled at the men around me. They did nothing. "Drop them!" Radzinsky and Phil approached me. "Don't move!" I threatened again. Jim and Juliet looked back at me, slowly standing.

"Get back down!" Radzinsky yelled at them, aiming his gun. I turned to him.

"Radzinsky, back the fuck off!" I yelled. Turning to him put me off guard. Mike grabbed me from behind. I dropped my gun as I struggled. I managed to break free from his grip by kicking him in the groin, but by the time I reached the gun, Phil had picked it up. I looked up at him from the floor. He smiled smugly. He kicked me in the stomach and I fell to the ground.

"Hey, stop!" Jim yelled, but I heard a fist hit him, and him fall down a bit.

"Let's get them back to security," Radzinsky said, going to Jim and helping him up. Phil walked to me with a grim smirk on his face. I held a firm expression and stared back.

"Yeah. Let's go," He said. He pulled me up, and held me close to him, his hot, horrid breath breathing down my neck. He walked me towards the door and I closed my eyes.

**Oh shit, guys. Oh shit.**


	89. Follow the Leader

**Alright, here's Follow the Leader!**

I sat silently and stared ahead of me as Phil tied my legs to the legs of the chairs.

"Phil, man, you didn't tie Jim and Juliet's legs. Why are you tying hers?" Horace asked.

"Because she put up quite a fight back at the house… she's more hostile," He said. I grunted a little as he tightened a rope around my ankle too tight, but I didn't avert my gaze. "Oh, I'm sorry," Phil said, standing and walking in front of me. He leaned over me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Was I a little too rough?" I didn't look him in the eyes. I kept staring straight ahead.

"Phil, if you don't mind, we've got some work to do," Radzinsky said coldly. Phil stood and walked towards Jim. Radzinsky pointed to a monitor that played the video of Jim and Kate taking Ben to the hostiles. "That woman," He said. "Where is she now?" Jim looked up at Radzinsky and after a pause, answered.

"I want my lawyer." Radzinsky slapped Jim across the face. I closed my eyes and turned away a little.

"Stuart! What the hell are you doing…"

"I'm getting answers!" Radzinsky yelled at Horace as he slapped his hand away. "Where is she?" He yelled. Jim sat back up and shook the hair out of his face, but didn't respond. Radzinsky hit him again.

"Hey, hey, stop! Damn it, stop!" Horace said, standing between Jim and Radzinsky. "That is an order. I'm still in charge here."

"No, you were in charge, Horace. But if we're gonna protect our people, and all the work we're doing here, you don't have the stomach for what happens next," Radzinsky said. Horace stepped out of the way hesitantly. "Phil," Radzinsky called him over. Phil pushed Jim's chair into the control console and slammed Jim's head down on it. He then pulled his hair back up to force him to look at the screen. "Okay, Jim, last chance. You tell me where she is… or so help me God, I will kill you." There was a silence in the room. "What's it gonna be?"

"I'm still waitin' on my lawyer," Jim answered. Phil wheeled Jim's chair back and Radzinsky began hitting Jim. It started with slaps, then progressed to light punches, then to harder punches.

"Hey!" Juliet called when things started getting uglier.

"You ready to talk now?" Radzinsky asked Jim. Jim panted.

"Nope." Radzinsky hit him hard across the face again.

"Believe me, I'm getting tired of this too, Jim. So why don't you tell me where your girlfriend took the boy?" He asked Jim. "Did she bring him to the hostiles? You know where they are?" Jim spit on the ground at Radzinsky's feet. Radzinsky threw aside the gun he was holding and flew at Jim, punching him so hard he fell out of his chair.

"Stop!" I finally screamed, looking down at Sawyer. "Leave him, please!" I yelled, looking down at Sawyer as he lay on the ground next to my feet. I struggled to get free, but couldn't move.

"You want me to stop? Then tell me what I wanna know!" Radzinsky yelled at Juliet.

"Stuart… please! We have known each other for three years! We are not bad people, we are not here to hurt you!" Juliet cried.

"Juliet…" I head Sawyer utter from the floor. "Don't. Whatever you tell them, they ain't gonna believe you. It's only gonna get more people hurt." Horace helped pick Sawyer up from the floor.

"What are we doing, man? Beating him is pointless, okay? He's not gonna talk…" Horace said.

"I can make him talk," Phil said. He moved forward towards Sawyer, then spun around and slapped Juliet.

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer yelled as Horace tried to calm him. "You're a dead man, Phil!" Phil crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"As soon as I get outta here, you're dead," Sawyer yelled. With that, Phil approached me. I sat up in my chair, preparing for a harsh slap, or maybe even a right hook. "Don't you touch her!" Sawyer yelled.

"Then answer us!" Radzinsky yelled. Phil stood firmly and waited for an answer, but Sawyer didn't answer him. Phil smiled smugly and approached me. He leaned over me and stared at me menacingly. I tried to harden my expression, but my nervousness was probably showing through. Without any warning, Phil squeezed his hands in a tight grip around my head and pushed his lips hard against mine. I could hear Sawyer yelling at him, but all I could think about was getting him off of me. I couldn't move my arms or legs, and he was holding my head very tightly in place. I was afraid to open my mouth, but I knew that it would be the only way to get him off of me. I parted my lips, and just as his tongue tried to cross into my mouth, I bit down as hard as I could. He yelled and pushed away from me. My mouth hurt from resisting him, but not nearly as much as it did once he hit me. I let out a gasp of relieved breath, but I knew that it wasn't over yet.

"I'm gonna kill you," Sawyer said calmly to Phil.

"Mr. Radzinsky," I heard Mike say, "There's still no sign of Miles or Jin, but the recruits from last week… I got their subs manifest from Amy. There were three last-minute-add-ons. They were the two people that shot at you, Shepherd and Austen, and one guy we can't track down. He's gotta be a part of this." Radzinsky took the list from Mike.

"Who the hell is Hugo Reyes?" He asked. Phil looked back down at me.

"He's the fat guy," He smiled. "The one that works in the cafeteria."

* * *

Phil hit me again. My cheeks were almost numb with pain; almost. I couldn't hear much; my ears felt like they were full. I could hear Sawyer yelling, but I could barely distinguish the words. I heard another voice, and the hitting stopped. I could start to make out words more clearly.

"We're under imminent threat. If we start drilling, there's a high probability of a cataclysmic accident," Dr. Chang said. I laid my head back over the back of my chair. I felt exhausted. I could feel the rawness of my cheeks; I wasn't sure if I'd ever been beaten this badly.

"We are drilling and on schedule," Radzinsky said.

"Horace, you're in charge…" Dr. Chang said, but was interrupted.

"He's not in charge anymore! This is my decision, and it's been made. We keep working…"

"Put us on the sub," I heard Sawyer utter from my side. He was staring at me. I let out another deep breath. "He's right… it ain't safe. Put the women and children on the sub and get 'em the hell out of here. And if you put me, Juliet, and Carmen on the sub with 'em… we'll tell you anything you wanna know. You okay with that, ladies?" He asked looking between us.

"Absolutely," Juliet said. He looked to me. I opened my mouth to reply, but my jaw stopped on its hinge in pain. I nodded, then dangled my head over my shoulder as I spit out some blood.

"You want on that sub, Jim?" Radzinsky asked. "Draw me a map. I wanna know exactly where the hostiles are."

* * *

"We'll buy Microsoft," Sawyer said.

"Excuse me?" Juliet replied.

"Then we'll bet the Cowboys in the '78 superbowl. We're gonna be rich. Look, I'm sorry. I should've listened to you when you wanted to get on this sub three years ago," Sawyer said to Juliet.

"I'm glad you talked me out of it," She answered.

"Come on, LaFleur, get in," Mitch said to Sawyer.

"Ladies first," He said to us. Juliet started climbing down into the sub. I looked back at the island. I didn't know where Miles was, or Hurley, or Jack… it didn't matter anymore. I didn't know what I wanted.

"You okay?" Sawyer asked me. I tried to fake a smile. "That's a no," He said. I nodded, feeling like my mouth staying shut was the only thing keeping me from crying. I looked down the ladder and started climbing down, looking back once more at the island.

* * *

Mitch handcuffed us all to tables in the galley.

"Once we dock wherever we dock… we're free," Sawyer said.

"Real world… I don't even know what that means anymore," Juliet said. "I love you."

"I love you back," Sawyer said. "Hey, Carmen," He called to me. I looked up at him. "You calling me Sawyer again?" He asked. I had to think about it.

"Have I been?" I asked.

"Yeah," He smiled. I laughed a little to myself.

"Then I guess so." He smiled at me in a comforting way.

"We'll be fine," He said. I looked back down at the ground.

"I know," I said quietly. I looked back up at him, and tried to force a smile. "I know," I said with a little more confidence. I heard Phil yelling from outside. I prayed to myself that he wasn't coming on the sub with us. I saw a woman climbing down the ladder… and I knew it was bad news.

"Hey," Kate said as Mitch brought her to my table and sat her down opposite me. I looked between Sawyer and Juliet to see troubled expressions.

"Hey," Sawyer answered. A man said something over the intercom. I looked down at my handcuff and relaxed my arm. There was nothing we could do now.

**OR IS THERE? DUN-DUN DUUUH! I'll try to write again soon.**


	90. The Incident

**Wow, guys. This is the end of season 5! Also, exciting news! I'm leaving on an RV trip with my family in a little while, and I'm hoping to write a lot while I'm out there! I'll post my chapters when I can get Wifi, but that should be often enough! I'm so happy (yet very bummed that this journey is almost over)!**

I dangled my hand over the side of the metal table, my handcuff chains jangling. The captain of the submarine announced over the intercom that we'd be receiving our sedatives and then leaving. I looked tensely between Sawyer, Juliet and Kate. I had a feeling that we were about to stage some escape. To no surprise, Kate turned to Sawyer.

"We have to get out of here," She said urgently.

"Outta here? We're under water," Sawyer said. "What the hell are you doing here? How'd you get caught?"

"I came back to get you," Kate said, leaning forward.

"Came back to get me for what?" Sawyer asked.

"Where's Jack?" Juliet interjected, leaning in to Kate.

"Jack is on his way to blow up a hydrogen bomb," Kate said calmly, as if it was just another silly hike. I sat up quickly and looked between Juliet and Sawyer.

"Why the hell would he do that?" Sawyer asked.

"Does it matter? We have to stop him," Kate said. I looked to Sawyer. Part of me thought he'd pull an expert move and get us out of our cuffs and rush us back to the shore. But the other part of me sensed the truth; Sawyer was done. He was ready to move on.

"Sorry, I'm gonna pass," He said, sitting back. He looked stressed, conflicted even. But resolved.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I heard you. You just don't get it, Kate. We were happy in Dharmaville until ya'll showed up. And now that's all over. So we're gonna drink our O.J. and take our chances in the real world. If Jack wants to blow up the island… good for Jack," He said, shaking his head. While a big part of me agreed, something inside of me was screaming. Screaming for me to go back, to stop Jack, to save my friends.

"Sawyer, what about all of the people we left behind? Hurley, Jin, Daniel, Miles… you're just going to abandon them?" I asked.

"Dan's dead," Kate said. We all looked up at her desperately. "He stormed into the Others' camp… the shot him." I looked down, but then quickly back up at Sawyer.

"Well what about the others? Our people, Sawyer. We can't just leave them to die," I said. Sawyer looked away from me. "Sawyer," I urged.

"Oh, it's not like you really love him," Sawyer jerked back up at me, throwing the words like daggers. I leaned back a little, not knowing what to say. "Stop pretending like you care so much about Miles when you don't. You want to risk your life for him?" He angrily said. I stared back, shocked but furious.

"No," I answered. "I want to save him." I held eye contact with him for a little while until he finally looked away, feeling defeated.

"Why is Jack trying to blow up the island?" Juliet asked.

"Before Dan died, he said that we can change what happens; that if we blow up the island and kill everyone on it, then they'll never build the hatch, and Desmond won't forget to press the button and we never crash," Kate explained.

"Let me get this straight," Sawyer said, looking up at Kate. "Jack sets off the nuke which somehow resets everything, so flight 815 never crashes. It just lands in L.A. safe and sound and none of this ever happened."

"Sawyer, if Jack does this, he could kill everyone on the island," Kate said.

"Yeah, I heard that part," Sawyer answered.

"And you're okay with that?" Kate angrily spat back at him.

"You ain't hearing me, Kate," He said. "I made a choice and I'm sticking to it. I decided to leave and I'm leaving." I heard footsteps approaching and saw Mitch approach us with a tray full of cups of drugged orange juice. We all quieted.

"Alright, here's your sedatives," He said. As he reached a cup down to Juliet, she grabbed him by the back of his neck, slammed his forehead on the table and kneed him in the throat, leaving him unconscious on the floor. She grabbed the keys off of his belt and started unlocking herself.

"What the hell did you just do?" Sawyer asked her.

"We decided to leave this island, James. We did. And now we're going back," She said, unlocking hers and Kate's cuffs.

"Are you serious?" Sawyer asked her.

"We can't just let those people die," She said as she unlocked my handcuff. I stood up quickly once I was free of the table. Juliet turned to Sawyer. "You want out? Or you wanna stay here and whine about it?" She asked. Sawyer looked annoyed.

"Unlock the damn cuffs," He said. Juliet picked up Mitch's gun. We hurried down the hushed corridors where mothers with their children were falling asleep. We reached the captain finally, and Juliet pointed the gun to the man's head.

"Give me your gun," She insisted calmly. He lifted his arms nervously. Sawyer reached forward and pulled the gun out of his belt.

"Appreciate that, captain," He said, handing me the gun. "Now we need you to surface the sub."

"What, I can't take the sub up…" As he protested, I pointed the gun at him.

"Oh, I think you can," Sawyer said.

"Once we're gone, proceed on course. Whatever you do, do not take those people back to the island, understand?" Juliet asked.

"What if Horace tries to contact me? What am I supposed to say?" He asked. I looked to the comm. system that the captain was just using, exchanged a glance with Sawyer, and shot the box.

"You ain't home," Sawyer answered.

"Go," Juliet said. The man obeyed, and I could almost feel the sub lifting out of the waters.

* * *

We rowed quickly in the small raft away from the now descending sub. I sat behind Kate, rowing at her pace. Sawyer and Kate argued a little bit about which side of the island we were approaching. I looked down at the water and thought about what Sawyer said… that I didn't love Miles. Was I supposed to? We just dated, or pretended to date, or… whatever. In any case, I didn't think my feelings for Miles were wrong. I felt bitter towards Sawyer for making me feel like I was betraying Miles. I paddled in silence.

* * *

We dropped the raft on the sand. I stepped forward and examined the beach. I had no clue where we were.

"You recognize this beach?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"No," He said quietly. "I got no idea where the hell we are," He said louder for everyone to hear. I heard a dog bark in the jungle. Suddenly, a sandy colored dog ran at us.

"Vincent!" I yelled, running at the dog. He ran to me and jumped up on me. "Oh my God, honey, how are you?" I said, falling to my knees and petting him.

"I haven't seen you since the flaming arrows three years ago!" Sawyer said to him as he pet.

"Hey! How'd he survive alone out here?" Juliet asked, reaching a tentative hand down.

"Oh, hell no," I heard a woman say. I looked up to see Rose. She was thinner, and her hair had grown out a lot. "Bernard!" She yelled. I saw an older looking Bernard with scraggly facial hair emerge from the jungle behind her.

"Rose!" I yelled. I got up and ran to them. I hugged her tightly, and turned to Bernard, hugging him. "You're alive!"

"Of course we're alive, honey, relax," Rose said. I smiled at her. "My God, you've grown up." I laughed and hugged her again.

* * *

"People try their whole lives to get themselves a nice, quiet place near the ocean where they can live in peace. Well, we did it. It's what we've made for ourselves," Bernard said proudly. I smiled up at him.

"Will, I hate to rain on your parade, but condos about to go kabloowey," Sawyer said.

"Jack has a bomb," Kate said.

"Who cares?" Rose said. I smiled up at her.

"Excuse me?" She answered.

"It's always something with you people. Now you say, 'Jack's got a bomb.' And what, you guys are all gonna try to stop him, right?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, that's right," Kate said.

"We travelled back thirty years in time and you're still trying to find ways to shoot each other?" Rose asked.

"Rose, we just need to know which way the Dharma barracks are from here so we can stop Jack. Or you're gonna be dead. We all will," Juliet said.

"So we die," Bernard answered. "We just care about being together. That's all that matters in the end." I looked between Rose and Bernard, whose love just burst out of their eyes. I looked at my knees and grabbed my necklace… Boone's necklace. That's all that matters in the end… being together.

"The barracks are five miles that way," Rose said, pointing through the jungle. I got up and hugged both Rose and Bernard.

"Thank you," I said to them.

"Wait," Bernard said. He handed me a handgun that he had retrieved from inside his home. "I'm sure you'll find some reason to use this." I nodded and smiled, tucking it into the back of my jeans. Kate and Sawyer had already taken off and Juliet trailed behind me. Time to stop Jack… I just hoped I could find Miles again before things headed south.

* * *

As we were walking towards the barracks, we heard a vehicle.

"Wait," Sawyer said.

"Why? What if it's security?" I asked.

"Then we have guns," He said. We stopped and waited for the van to approach us. They hit the brakes hard and I could make out the people in the front. Hurley was driving, and Miles was in the passenger seat. The side door opened and Jack came out of the van. He, like us, had some smears of blood and sweat on his clothing, and blood all over his arm and waist. Kate walked towards him slowly.

"What's going on, Kate?" Jack asked.

"Doc, we gotta talk," Sawyer said. Jack paused.

"You wanna talk, then get in the van. We don't have time…"

"I ain't getting in the van," Sawyer said, walking forward. "I need five minutes, that's all. I'll say what I need to say and you can do whatever the hell you want to. But you're gonna listen. You owe me that much, Jack." Jack hesitantly moved away from the van.

"Five minutes," He said. He dropped his gun off in the van and Juliet took Sawyer's rifle. The two walked off into the jungle. Miles got out of the van. I walked forward to meet him.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey, what happened? I saw you all get on the sub, and…"

"Yeah, well… we're here now," I said. He smiled nervously at me. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Well, we picked up Jack and Sayid…"

"Sayid?" I asked. I could see Jin sitting in the back of the van, but not Sayid.

"I'm here," I heard a faint whisper from the van. I walked past Miles and looked in the van to see Sayid on the floor, bleeding profusely from his abdomen.

"Oh," I uttered as I crawled in the van next to him. I put one hand on his neck and brushed the hair out of his face. "Sayid," I mumbled. He stared up at me silently for a moment.

"It's… alright," He said.

"You know, you don't have to be so strong all the time," I said, feeling tears rise in my throat.

"Of course I do," He said, smiling a little back up at me. I laughed a little, but it was a laugh that was drowned out by my stifled cries. Sawyer came back after a while. I got out of the van to meet him.

"What happened?" I asked.

"We're blowing up the damn Swan," He said.

"What?" I asked. "Wait… didn't we come all this way to stop this?" I yelled.

"I know!" He yelled back. "We do this, and we're free. Free of this place, of… everything," He said, looking up. I turned to see that he was looking at Juliet. I looked back at him.

"What happened?" I asked him, concerned.

"It doesn't matter," He said, walking away.

* * *

We were right next to the station. We were just waiting. For what, I didn't know… the opportune moment, I guess?

"Ready to die?" I heard Miles ask behind me. He sat down next to me.

"As ready as I'm gonna be, I guess," I said, looking back down at the gun in my hands. "I wonder… what happens after this."

"What?"

"When you die… will we just… go back to the way things were on the plane, before this all happens? Or will we just disappear… fade to black?" I asked.

"I just talk to dead people, I don't…"

"I didn't actually want you to answer," I said, half laughing and half annoyed.

"Carmen… no matter what happens, this is probably the last time we have to talk, to really… talk," Miles said. I nodded and looked up at him.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Carmen… I just want you to know that…" I turned to see Jack, very bloodied, walk down the hill with Kate.

"Dude, what happened to your face?" Hurley asked.

"Nothing," Jack said, "We were just up on a ridge where we could look down into the Swan site. Something just happened down there. They hit something… it's time for me to go," Jack said, picking up the bomb that laid next to Sayid.

"It's all set to go," He said softly. "Remember, be careful. It's rigged to explode on impact. According to Faraday's plan, you must get the bomb as close as you can to the source of the electromagnets."

"Sayid, this is gonna work," Jack said. "And it'll save you."

"Nothing can save me," Sayid said quietly. I wanted to comfort him, but we had no time. It was time to make things right. I stood with my gun in my hands, ready for whatever I had to be ready for. I felt like I should be saying goodbyes to people, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what would happen, where I'd go… I didn't know what to do. Sawyer and Juliet returned from their chat in the jungle and we all leaned against the van, waiting to leave.

"Can I ask you something, LaFleur?" Miles asked.

"There ain't no more LaFleur, but go ahead. Shoot," Sawyer said.

"Has it occurred to any of you that your buddy is actually gonna cause the thing he says he's trying to prevent?" Miles asked. I looked up at him, confused. "Perhaps that little nuke is the incident, so maybe the best thing to do is nothing?" I looked to Sawyer and Juliet who looked confused and anxious. I looked down, knowing fully well that Miles could be very right. But it wouldn't matter anyways. "I'm glad you all thought this through." I heard the buzzing of a motor in the distance. I looked out over the ridge to see a Dharma jeep.

"What's going on?" Kate asked.

"It's Phil… that's the road to the Swan," Jin answered.

"If they see Jack, they're going to kill him," Kate said, scared.

"What do you think, Blondie?" Sawyer asked.

"Live together, die alone?" Juliet answered. We all quickly loaded the jeep, leaving Sayid behind with Hurley. I busted out the back window of the van and got in the back, ready to fire, since the back seat and front seat were taken by everyone else. On our way over, I heard gunfire.

"Hurry!" I yelled to Sawyer who was driving. We hurried in to see Jack, still safe, though just barely. We fired at men surrounding the site. Once the van stopped I jumped out of the van and hurried after Miles, ducking behind a big metal container labeled for water. I inched closer, shooting people as I went. Sawyer and I ended up hiding side by side behind a jeep right behind Radzinsky and Phil. "I got Phil," I said. Sawyer nodded. We bolted out and I kicked Phil in the bottom of the spine. I put my gun to his head. "Drop the gun, Phil, or I fire!" I screamed.

"Okay, okay," He mumbled as he dropped his gun.

"Tell them to put their guns down," I threatened him.

"Drop the guns, drop the guns!" He screamed.

"Alright, you can come out now, Doc!" Sawyer screamed. Jack stood up and moved to the hole where they were drilling. "Hurry up and do your business. Turn that damn thing off!" Sawyer told Dr. Chang, who stood next to him, obviously on our side. The drill made a screeching noise. "What's the matter?"

"It won't shut down!" He yelled.

"Why not?" Sawyer asked.

"Something's pulling the drill down!" Dr. Chang answered.

"We hit the pocket!" Radzinsky yelled from the ground. I looked to Jack who held the bomb tentatively over the hole. He looked around him making sure we were all still okay with this. I felt tears slip from my eyes. I was so afraid of what would come next… even if we never crashed, would I really be so much better off? Part of me was begging for Jack to stop… I wasn't ready yet. It couldn't just end this way. I looked to Sawyer.

"Hurry up, Doc, what are you waiting for? Drop it!" He yelled. I threw Phil down in front of me and kept my gun pointed. I looked up at Miles, who looked more terrified than anything else. I wanted someone to say goodbye to, someone that would miss me if I never saw them again. I let out a quick terrified breath and took in what I was afraid might be my last taste of air. I watched Jack as the bomb rolled off his fingertips and into the hole. I lowered my gun and felt tears roll off of my chin. That was it. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the momentary blast of pain before my world ended. I looked down and held my breath in. But nothing happened. I looked up and breathed as I waited for something, anything to show that we succeeded. Nothing happened.

"Jack?" I yelled, raising my gun at Phil again. The drill buzzed with power. The sound was familiar. It was the same noise I heard when the hatch exploded, years before. It shook with power and intensity. I backed away. The gun in my hand was pulling away from me. I let it go and it zipped down the hole like water down a drain. I backed away faster as the entire drill shook and buzzed, coming up from the ground and pulling in towards the hole. It collapsed lower and I hurried even further back. Metal objects were flying towards the hole around me. I covered my head and tried to find somewhere safe, but nothing around me looked safe. I hurried up away from the drill towards the way we came in. Something metal hit my side and I fell down, rolling on to my side. I hurried to my feet.

"LaFleur!" I head someone yell. I looked up to see Phil pointing a rifle at Sawyer. A tower of scaffolding fell over on Phil and Sawyer hurried away. I let out a relieved sigh. Suddenly, I was swept off my feet and being pulled through the dirt and gravel. I looked at my feet to see chains circled around me. I screamed and kicked, trying to get the chains off of me.

"Help, help me!" I screamed. I felt someones hands grab my wrists, but they were too late. My legs were pulled down into the hole, and my hips followed, then my abdomen. I shook loose of their grip and grabbed a metal rod that was above me. I screamed with the pain that came from my body not retreating into the hole, but the chains on my feet pulling me. I heard someone else screaming next to me. I turned to see Juliet. She must have been the one who grabbed me. Her grip slipped and she fell to a lower pole.

"Sawyer!" I heard Kate yell, who was holding my chains.

"Juliet, hang on!" I screamed. "Just hang on!" She screamed. I looked to see her grip loosening. "Juliet!" I screamed. Just as she slipped, someone's hand grabbed hers. I looked up to see Sawyer. I screamed in pain as the chains around my leg pulled tighter. One of my legs was free. I kicked at my leg that was tangled in chains, screaming.

"Kate, help me get those chains off of Juliet!" Sawyer yelled. I looked over at Juliet. Chains were on both of her legs and tangled around her waist. It was connected to all of the chains that were on me. The chains that pulled me must have fallen on to her when we fell into the hole. I continued to kick my leg. If I couldn't get the chains off of me, we'd both die. My grip was loosening on the bar above me. I screamed.

"I'm slipping!" I screamed. My grip continued to slip and no one was helping me. "Help! Help!" I screamed. I looked ahead of me, trying with all my might to just hang on as the chains on my leg pulled tighter and tighter.

"Here, take my hand!" I heard above me. I looked up to see Miles reaching down to me. I reached for his hand and grabbed it with one of my own, readjusting the grip of my other hand on the bar above me. "Get those chains off!" He yelled at me. I looked down and knocked the chains loose after a moment with my free leg. The chains fell from me, leaving my leg feeling painfully numb. Metal creaked above me and loosened. The metal Sawyer and Kate were leaning on was bending in towards the hole. I had moments to get out of that hole. I let out an exasperated breath. Miles pulled me up a little. I kicked off the wall and pulled up with both hands. "Come on!" Miles yelled to me. I felt too weak. I couldn't do it.

"I love you, James!" I heard Juliet yell next to me. I turned to look at her.

"No!" Sawyer yelled at her.

"I love you so much!" She yelled.

"No! No, don't let go!" Sawyer yelled. All I heard were screams, but she was already gone. I let go of the bar with my one hand that Miles didn't have a hold of and reached after her, but she was long gone. I saw water fall from my face… I didn't know if it was sweat or tears. The screams faded, but a heaviness overcame me. My entire body felt like it was being pulled after her. I couldn't bend my arms, or lift myself at all.

"Carmen! Carmen, give me your hand!" I heard Kate yell. I was so tired, I couldn't move. I looked up, and swung my arm up to Kate. She and Miles pulled me, and I tried my hardest to lift myself out. When they finally got me out, and once I could kneel on solid ground, Kate let go of me and went to Sawyer. Miles stood me up and walked me away from the hole.

"She's gone…" I mumbled, exhausted and barely able to move.

"Just breath, okay, just breath," Miles said. I turned to see the drill be sucked into the hole.

"No… no, no, no," I muttered.

"Get her out of here, let's go!" I heard Jack yell. Miles pulled me away. My knees buckled and I fell. I couldn't keep going… not anymore. Miles picked me up and kept moving away from the hole.

"Carmen, just stay awake, okay?" I heard Miles yell. I couldn't answer. I felt like I was about to pass out, and I didn't really understand why. Exhaustion had just taken me over like a drug… I thought I was dying. "Carmen! Carmen, if we don't make it… just know… Carmen, I lo…"

A white light surrounded me. I might have fallen... I don't really know. All I could think was that I was dead; maybe the bomb finally went off. I never knew what it sounded like when everything around you is obliterated; when everything you know, and everything around you that you think is there is suddenly taken away in one horrifying moment. It sounds like nothing; it sounds like silence. All you can hear is the ringing in your own ears. A quiet and subtle, yet overwhelming ringing. That's how I was sure that I must be dead. Yet... I was still thinking all of this…

* * *

_I stood in front of the glass window, looking into the nursery. I could pick out which little one was mine from a mile away. She was so beautiful._

"_Which one is yours?" The man next to me asked. For the first time, I really noticed him. He was tall, and had blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. He had a very strong chin and a relaxed disposition. I didn't know how long he'd been there._

"_That one," I said, pointing through the glass at the pink-skinned baby girl with a little pink hat on her head and a one-sie that was a little too big for her._

"_Oh, she's adorable. What's her name?" He asked. I smiled to myself._

"_Morgan," I answered. A warm feeling overcame me as I stood, staring at my daughter and saying her name. I smiled and even laughed a little as I felt a tear in my eye._

"_That's a beautiful name," He said. I felt myself drifting and caught myself from falling with my hand, but I realized that the man was really the one who caught me. "Whoa… maybe you should still be in bed?" He asked. I laughed as I stood up straight._

"_Yeah, I just… couldn't resist," I said. He smiled._

"_Let me walk you back," He insisted, offering an arm to me. I smiled and thanked him, and he walked me two doors down to my room. I sat down in my hospital bed and pulled the blankets back over my papery gown and my still inflated belly._

"_Thank you," I said again._

"_Of course," He said, smiling down at me. He offered his hand to me. "And congratulations on a beautiful baby girl. You seem very dedicated to her." I smiled and took his hand, shaking it. He held my hand for quite a long moment before withdrawing. He walked towards the doorway._

"_I'm Carmen, by the way," I called after him. He looked back a moment._

"_It was nice meeting you, Carmen. I'll be seeing you," He said, walking out of the room, but I didn't understand._

"_You'll be seeing me… do I already know you?" I called after him, sitting up and feeling rude for having introduced myself to someone I already met. He didn't come back. I laid back down, feeling very embarrassed and confused._

**AHHH! SEASON 5 IS OVER! Alright, I'm going to bed… season 6 is coming up!**


	91. LAX

**I've got the writing fever! Alright, here we go with the final season- LAX. In case you couldn't figure it out, flash-sideways will be in italics.**

_I twiddled my thumbs anxiously. The flight had seemed so long. I slept for a little while, but not long. I hadn't slept much lately at all, really… I guess I was kind of anxious in general these days. The plane shook with turbulence; more turbulence than I'd ever felt. I felt the plane shift around me and sat up straight. When the turbulence stopped, I cleared my throat and relaxed my back. I tightened the strap on my seatbelt. I let out a relieved breath. Suddenly the plane started shaking again; harder. I arched my back, pressing my shoulders into the seat. Suitcases fell out of an overhead compartment across the aisle from me. I grabbed my arm rest in panicked anxiety. The plane leveled out and the turbulence stopped. I let out a deep breath._

"_You okay?" Jim asked me. I looked beside me to see Jim, who was sitting similarly to me, but not so nervously. He smirked a little bit. I looked down at the armrest and saw that I was grabbing his hand. I quickly let go._

"_Oh… sorry," I said, laughing nervously. He laughed back a little._

"_It's fine, don't worry about it. Thought we were in trouble for a second there," He said, his Tennessee accent thick. I chuckled._

"_Yeah, me too," I answered. A man walked in the aisle past Jim and brushed his shoulder._

"_Oh, excuse me," He said as he turned to face Jim. He had an Australian accent and wavy brown hair that was longer, like Jim's. He wore a suit jacket and had a book with a red cover under his arm. He smiled at Jim who gave a reassuring smile back, then looked at me. He paused as we made eye contact. I smiled up at him. "Do I know you?" He asked, pointing to me with one of the fingers clutched around his book._

"_Me?" I asked. I shook my head, brushing my hair behind my ear. "I don't think so."_

"_You aren't from Australia?" He asked, seeming to just be checking._

"_No, I live in L.A. I was just visiting Sydney," I said. He nodded. He held his gaze over me for a second, nodding to himself, then smiled._

"_Well, my mistake," He said, turning and walking down the aisle towards the front of the plane. I smiled and shook my head; something about the man did seem familiar, but I was sure I didn't know him. There was no way._

"_Way to shoot him down," Jim said. I looked up at him._

"_What?" I asked, smiling a little._

"_Don't tell me you didn't realize he was flirting with you," He said, looking down at me as if I were some kid._

"_Flirting with me?" I replied. "No, he was just recognizing a familiar face."_

"_Yeah, yeah, Miss Oblivious, whatever you say," He said, looking back down at his book. I laughed at him a little and nudged him in the side lightly with my elbow._

"_He was not flirting with me," I said, looking down at the book in my lap. I heard Jim scoff at me, but I didn't answer it._

* * *

I was wrong. Things probably would've been easier, maybe even better, if I had died. But I hadn't. My mind turned on, and nothing seemed to be happening. I couldn't hear anything. I slowly opened my eyes to see the dark outlines of tree branches overhead. It was night. I turned to my side… the ground on my sides was white. I blinked my eyes, thinking my head must be fuzzy, but everything looked the same. I sat up a little, slowly, and hit the ground with my hand. I could barely hear it… or the sound of my heavy breathing. It sounded like I was underwater, or like something was clogging my ears. I shook my head, trying to shake the feeling. It didn't change much though. I sat up all the way to see that the ground wasn't white… the top of the van was. My legs were dangling off the back of a Dharma van… the same van we had driven to the Swan site. I shook my head again, trying to shake off the silence around me. Suddenly, I could hear the faint muggy noise of someone yelling. A man's voice… an angry man's voice. I heard a louder voice and turned to my right to see Jin. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but he was talking to me. I rubbed my ears.

"What?" I asked, able to hear myself more clearly.

"Here, let me help you," Jin said. I reached out my arms and inched towards the edge of the van and Jin helped lower me down.

"Is that Sawyer yelling?" I asked, more able to hear his screams.

"Yes," He said. I hurried with Jin towards the sound of his yells to see the crater in the ground where the Swan station blew up… we were back in the correct time. But the hatch… it had been built anyways. What we did changed nothing. Juliet died for nothing.

"Hey!" Someone yelled to me. I turned to my side to see Miles running to me. He cupped my face with his hands. "Are you okay?" He asked. I turned my attention onto myself. My ankle hurt… a lot. It was the leg that had been pulled by the chains. I shifted my weight off of it as I realized that my back hurt; probably from landing on top of the van.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm okay," I answered him, turning my face away from his hands.

* * *

_Jim had gone to the restroom and left me to my reading._

"_Hey," A man said. I looked up to see an older man holding a book, looking at a man in a seat across the aisle from me. He was a bigger man with headphones on and curly hair. "Excuse me," He said prodding the man. I looked down and read my book, and overheard their conversation. "Aren't you that man that owns Mr. Cluck's?"_

"_Uh… yeah, that's me," The man sitting replied._

"_Oh my gosh, it's really you! Can you do the thing from the commercials?" He asked, leaning on the seat._

"_Sorry, dude," He answered._

"_Hey, come on, please? Just once," The man insisted._

"_I really don't want to," The other man answered._

"_I love those commercials! Oh, just do the Australian accent, and I'll leave you alone," The man begged. I looked up to see Jim sitting down next to me._

"_Alright, fine, alright… 'Oy, have a cluckety-cluck day, mate,'" He answered. The man leaning on his seat let out a silent, wheezy laugh. I looked at the man sitting to see him looking annoyed and tired._

"_Do you know who this is?" The standing man asked Jim and I. "This is the owner of Mr. Cluck's chicken! And he's back here riding coach with the rest of us yutzes!"_

"_Well how about that," Jim answered, looking down at his magazine._

"_Hey, um, do you mind me asking: How exactly did a guy like you get to own a major corporation?" I heard the man ask._

"_I won the lottery, and I like chicken, so I bought it," He answered. I laughed a little to myself._

"_Oh, well… good for you," The man said, walking away in disappointment. Jim leaned over to the man._

"_You know you really shouldn't tell people you won the lottery," He said._

"_Yeah, why not?" The man answered._

"_Because they'll take advantage of you, that's why not," Jim answered._

"_Thanks for the advice dude, but it's not gonna happen," The man answered confidently._

"_It's not, huh?" Jim asked, looking down at his magazine._

"_Nope. Nothing bad ever happens to me. I'm the luckiest guy alive," He answered, putting on his headphones. Jim laughed a little to himself. I looked back down at my book, but I found myself to be ruminating more than reading._

* * *

"Sayid needs help!" Jin yelled to Jack.

"Where is he?"

"With Hurley at the van. Two minutes away. He's still bleeding. We don't know what to do," Jin answered. Jack slowly walked towards the edge of the crater.

"What do you say, Doc?" Sawyer asked. "Got another great idea to save Sayid? Maybe there's a nuke laying around…"

"Hey, shut up!" Kate yelled. She was standing very still at the center of the crater, where metal wreckage had collected. We all stood silently. I heard a very faint and quiet whimper that sounded stifled. It came from that hole. Sawyer ran at the hole and bent over.

"Juliet!" He screamed. Everyone gathered at the hole. I hurried over to the side of the crater and slowly climbed down a loose vine to the bottom, Miles right behind me. I moved to the hole as fast as I could, even though I felt incredibly injured. "Juliet!" Sawyer screamed again. I ran for the wreckage on my lame ankle and helped them start pulling things out of the hole.

"Hold on, Juliet, just hold on!" I screamed down at her. I grunted as I lifted a heavy scorched metal block from the pile, trying to scramble to her as fast as possible.

* * *

"Hang on, Juliet! We're coming!" Sawyer screamed again. I worked as hard as I could; the more I worked, the worse I felt. My body felt like it was going to collapse in on itself, but I knew that I couldn't be worse off than Juliet. I busily pulled out everything I could, flinging it behind me.

"Jin! Flashlight!" Jack called. Jack and Sawyer got a good look in the hole. I couldn't see much because they were all in front of me. I was using this time as a chance to breath and keep myself up.

"If we can move this beam, I think I can get down there," Sawyer said. I crawled closer to the hole and pulled up on the beam with all of my strength with everyone else, but it barely moved. "It's too heavy… we need something to pull it… Jin! The van, there's chains in it, go get 'em," He said. Jin followed his order and hurried off. Jack and Kate went back to removing wreckage, but I looked down the hole now that I was practically in it.

"Sawyer… you can't get through here. Even if we move that beam, you can't bring Juliet back up, you're too big," I started.

"I'll make it work!" Sawyer snapped.

"Sawyer, let me go down there, I can squeeze through, I can get her out of there," I said.

"And if there's something that's got her trapped, or something that's gotta be moved, you're gonna do it?" He angrily snapped. I couldn't answer. I was weak and I knew it. I probably wouldn't be able to do anything. I went back to clearing wreckage, but only for a moment. I saw the van pull up.

"Stop, stop Sawyer! The van's here, the chains are coming," Kate said to Sawyer as Jack and Miles hurried off to get the chains.

"She ain't making any more noises," Sawyer said desperately to Kate.

"She knows we're here, she's probably just resting," Kate said.

"Juliet!" Sawyer called again. I could feel the terror in his voice. He paused and looked up. He looked crazed. "If she dies, I'll kill him." I looked up to see Jack running towards us with the chains. I was hoping Sawyer was just being delirious, but… I wasn't so sure.

* * *

_I watched as the man who was supposedly the doctor got up with the flight attendant and went to the back of the plane. They seemed panicked. I heard her say something about a man in the restroom. A moment later, I heard a door slam open. I turned in my seat, as did Jim. When he turned back to face me, he shrugged his eyebrows. A moment later, the female flight attendant hurried past us. When she came back she was carrying a blue duffell with a Red Cross symbol on it. Jim raised his hand to her and stopped her._

"_What's going on back there, everything alright?" He asked._

"_Everything's fine, sir, please just stay in your seat," The woman said hurrying off._

"_Peachy," He answered._

"_Do you think everything's okay?" I asked, looking back._

"_No… that bag she had with her, it's first aid of some sort. It's not a defibrillator, but it ain't just band-aids and antibacterial soap either. Something's wrong," He answered. Soon after, the woman walked slowly past us with the bag again, but more calmly. It looked like whatever was wrong had been resolved. I looked back down at my book._

* * *

Sawyer wrapped the chain tightly around the beam with Kate's help. I stood back during this part; only so many hands could help.

"You got it?" Jack asked.

"Okay, Jin! We're good down here! Hit it!" Sawyer desperately screamed. I looked up at the van to see it start up and pull against the beam. I got on the far side of it and tried to lift. Kate, Sawyer and Jack all pulled and lifted it with me until finally it flung away from me. I fell forward and landed on my knees. The shock of hitting the ground reverberated through my body, through my knees and wrists up to the top of my spine. I didn't move for a second. I felt exhausted in a way that I'd never felt before. I realized that this was my true limit; I felt on the brink of passing out. When I looked up, Sawyer had already retreated into the hole. Kate came over to me.

"Carmen, are you okay?" She asked, kneeling next to me and putting one hand on my back. I looked down at my hands and nodded, trying to lift myself up as quickly and gracefully as I could.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine," I said as I stumbled up. Kate obviously didn't believe me, but we both cared more about Juliet than my present state. I went to the edge of the hole and looked down, resting my hands on my thighs. I couldn't hear anything really… maybe a brief word or two from Juliet or Sawyer, but I knew they were both okay and that's all that mattered. Truly... I knew that it wouldn't last. Juliet had fallen so far, and a bomb blew up next to her… while I knew we should all be dead, I was pretty sure that Juliet couldn't live through it all. Not long at least.

"Sawyer!" Kate called down the hole.

"It's okay," I said quietly. As I thought more about it, I accepted it more. Juliet wasn't going to live. Sawyer was just going to be able to say goodbye.

"What?" She asked me.

"Let them be," I said. Kate didn't seem to understand, and looked back down into the hole. I stood up straight and walked away from Kate, sitting down in the dirt at the edge of the crater. I wanted to sleep so badly; being sad about Juliet only pushed me further towards complete exhaustion. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my knees while Kate yelled down to Sawyer. I stayed there, and almost drifted off into sleep when I heard a clamoring from the hole. I stood to see Sawyer as he emerged from the hole carrying Juliet. But she was limp and broken. She was gone. Only her body was left as proof of her existence. Sawyer looked angrily up at Jack.

"You did this," He muttered softly.

* * *

_As the plane descended into L.A., I braced myself. I hated when the wheels initially hit the ground. The plane always jostled then. When we arrived, we were told to stay in our seats. The man who was the cause of all the drama earlier was escorted off the plane. He looked scuzzy and grimy. He was already handcuffed. As soon as he was off the plane, we were allowed to stand. Jim got my bag down from the overhead bin and I stood as he handed it to me._

"_Thanks," I said. He smiled as he got his down._

"_No problem," He said, but I didn't think he got what I meant. We walked off of the plane together. Once we were in LAX, I popped my neck. I hated long flights._

* * *

As the sun rose, I cried over Juliet's body. Sawyer sat near me, but he didn't say or do anything. Once the sun was up, I covered her body with a Dharma blanket that was in the van. Jack and Hurley had decided that we had to take Sayid to this place called the temple. Jin knew where it was, and it was apparently the only place we could take Sayid to if we hoped to save him. Sawyer walked near me and crouched.

"I'm going to stay behind," He said. He didn't have to say anymore. He was going to bury Juliet. I nodded.

"Me too," I answered as if I had already planned it all out. He didn't say anything else, but he got up and went to the van to get the shovels.

"Hey, Miles," I heard Sawyer say. I didn't turn to look at him or Miles, but I listened closely. "You mind hanging back?"

"You got it, boss," Miles answered. I bit my tongue. I didn't know I felt about Miles anymore… so much had happened in the last few hours. Juliet was gone, Sayid was dying, we didn't know what was happening anymore… I didn't even want to think about Miles. I still hadn't slept. I knew it might be a long time before I got to sleep, too.

"We'll make sure to leave a trail so you can follow us," Kate said.

"I ain't following nobody, Kate," Sawyer answered. I stood as Sawyer got a grip around Juliet. Miles picked up the shovels as Sawyer got to his feet. He looked back at Jack one last time. I did the same. As Sawyer and Miles trucked off, I kept my gaze fixed on Jack.

"Take care of him," I said, knowing full well that they had no control over what happened next to Sayid. Jack nodded, though. I turned and followed after Miles and Sawyer as fast I could on my lame ankle.

* * *

"_Not declaring anything?" The TSA agent asked me at customs._

"_No, I didn't get anything big… just a few tee shirts," I said. He nodded. He looked at my license, then over me one more time._

"_Well… welcome home, Miss Jameson," He said, handing me back my passport. _

_"Thanks," I smiled as I picked it up and walked forward to meet Jim._

"_Ready?" He asked. I nodded._

"_Yeah, let's go," I answered. We hit the button for an elevator and got in. He hit the button for the ground floor to baggage claim. As the door began to close, I heard a woman call to us._

"_Hold the door!" She yelled. Jim reached his hand out and stopped the door. A woman with dark brown hair and a brown leather jacket with another black jacket draped over her arms looked in the elevator at us and stepped in._

"_Welcome aboard," Jim said to her as the door closed. "We were on the same flight. Sydney."_

"_Well, how about that," She said as she leaned against the side of the elevator. I looked up at Jim who was obviously looking her over. I smiled a little to myself. We stopped on the first floor and two security men stopped on the elevator. Jim grabbed my arm and pulled me over closer to the woman to make room for the security agents. The door closed and one of the men's radios went off._

"_What's your point?" I heard the man on the other end say._

"_Uh, we're in the South elevator headed for ground," The man answered._

"_Get your asses to international baggage claim, we get a 341," It replied._

"_Yeah, we're on our way," The man answered._

"_Sounds serious," Jim said. I looked up at him. "What's a 341?"_

"_That's confidential, sir," The agent replied._

"_Well, if it's confidential, how the hell am I supposed to know if I see one?" Jim asked. I elbowed him a little. What the hell was he doing? The elevator dinged as we hit the ground floor. When the door opened, Jim lunged forward. "Excuse me, ladies first," He said. The woman with dark hair walked out first, and I followed._

"_Thanks," She mumbled to him._

"_Take care," He replied. I waited for him as he let the officers go first and laughed as we started walking together towards baggage claim._

"_You are such a pig," I laughed._

"_What?" He asked._

"_You were flirting with that woman!" I smiled. He laughed a little; that smug, under his breath laugh that he had._

"_And that makes me a pig?" Jim asked._

"_Well, you picked on that guy on the plane for flirting with me!" I said._

"_Yeah, well she didn't have a ring on her finger!" He smiled back. I laughed in reply and looked at the engagement ring on my finger._

"_Okay… you have a valid point," I smiled as we walked through the doors to get a cab._

* * *

I did a lot of the burying with Sawyer. Miles asked me several times if I wanted him to take over, but I kept saying no. Eventually he took the shovel away from me and softly pushed me away, making me take a break. I breathed heavily. Even when she was thoroughly buried, Sawyer kept patting the soil as if he were somehow adding an important touch. Miles put his shovel down and slowly walked over to Sawyer and put his hand on his shoulder. Sawyer jumped with some hostility at the gesture.

"I think that'll about do it, boss," Miles said.

"Stop calling me boss," Sawyer said. "You ain't my deputy anymore."

"You got it," Miles answered. There was an awkward pause. I put my hands on my hips, just trying to stay standing. "Are you thirsty? I think I saw some beers in the van. The construction guys hid them…"

"What did she want to tell me, Miles?" Sawyer asked. He asked it as if the question had been building inside him since sunrise.

"Excuse me?" Miles asked.

"Juliet… she said she wanted to tell me something and she died. What was it, Miles?" Sawyer asked again, dropping his shovel. I looked eagerly to Miles. He looked between me and Sawyer in a disappointed and frustrated manner.

"That's why you asked me to stay here with you?" Miles asked, as if he truly believed there was another big reason.

"You're the only one around that talks to dead people," Sawyer said, looking defeated and desperate.

"Jim… that's not how it works…"

"What did she want to tell me, Miles?" Sawyer asked again, coming closer to Miles.

"It doesn't matter…"

"It does matter!"

"Sawyer, please," I pleaded with him to stop, stepping forward. I could feel the tension in the air.

"It's not gonna help!" Miles said.

"Just do it! Just, just ask her!" Sawyer pleaded.

"She's gone, James!" Miles yelled. With that, Sawyer grabbed Miles and pushed him into the dirt.

"Sawyer, stop!" I yelled, stepping forward. I tried to pull Sawyer off of Miles, but I didn't have any strength left in me.

"Get off!" Sawyer yelled, shrugging me away. I stepped backward, seeing that he wasn't hurting Miles, just getting him to do what he needed. "I know she's gone. I know. Now tell me."

"Okay," Miles panted out after a moment. Sawyer slowly got up. Miles kneeled over Juliet's grave and bowed low to the ground. I could see his face twitching and contorting. I crouched lower, trying to see or hear something that Miles was sensing. Eventually Miles rose a bit off the ground.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"It worked," He said softly.

"What did she want to tell me?" Sawyer asked quietly.

"That's what she wanted to tell you. 'It worked,'" Miles repeated, kneeling and sitting up straight.

"What worked?" Sawyer asked angrily, standing up. Miles was at a loss. He didn't know any more than the rest of us did. Sawyer walked away, looking like he was about to puke.

"Sawyer… Sawyer, wait!" I called. I stood and offered a hand to Miles. "Come on," I said, trying to help him up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine," Miles said. I helped him stand as much as I could. As I held his hands, I thought about the incident… what happened. I suddenly remembered something. Just before the white flash, he was about to say something to me. Suddenly, I wanted to know what it was.

"Miles… right before the flash, when you were carrying me... did you say something?" I asked. Miles looked after Sawyer.

"We should stick with Jim," He said, moving away. I watched him silently a moment, then caught up to him and stared him down as we walked.

"Miles?" I asked.

"No," He answered quickly. I looked ahead of me. Why was he lying to me?

"Really? Because I thought you were telling me something… something important," I said. He shook his head.

"You were really tired. And hurt. Probably just were… delirious," He answered. I slowed my walk and looked sideways at him. He was lying to me… he was going to say he loved me, I remembered it clearly now. Why wouldn't he say it now? He stopped when he noticed I'd slowed and looked back at me. "We should probably catch up with Jim." I started forward quickly. I was angry. I followed quickly after Sawyer. I passed Miles and walked as fast as my legs would move me. Suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind. I thought it was Miles at first, but I was quickly proven wrong. The man grabbed me and held me tight, crossing my wrists in front of me. I gasped and grunted. "Sawyer, help!" I screamed. I didn't even know if he could hear me, but he was my only chance; I could see more men around me, and heard Miles struggling behind me. "Sawyer!" I called again. Sawyer ran back at us and I saw him punch a man in the face. I wanted to watch more, but I knew that I had to get away from this man. I pulled as much as I could, but couldn't shake free. I knew what I had to do and decided I didn't have much choice other than to do it. I threw my head back and slammed the man holding me. He loosened his grip and I fought throw my clouded thoughts and dizzy mind to push away from his grip. I finally got away, but something hard hit my stomach. I keeled over in pain.

"Carmen!" I heard Miles yell, but my eyes were squeezed shut in pain. I couldn't do anymore. I could feel everything inside of me giving up. I fell to one knee, but my mind wasn't as ready to give in. I pushed myself back up and opened my eyes to see Sawyer punch one man to the ground. Another man was sneaking up on him with a rock in his hand.

"Sawyer!" I yelled, but I was too late. They hit him over the head with the rock and he was out. I felt another man grab me from behind and I tried to fight, but I couldn't. "Let me go!" I yelled.

"Leave her, please, she's hurt! Please! Don't!" Miles yelled, but it's the last thing I heard. Someone kicked me in the stomach again and I fell over in pain. That was it. Everything around me was fading to black. Miles' voice went away. I passed out.

* * *

When I woke up, I was lying on a stone floor. I could feel bits of dirt and dust under my back. I shifted my hips slightly, but felt so sore. I felt slightly more rested than I did earlier, but my muscles all felt clenched and tired. I didn't want to move. I opened my eyes to see a stone ceiling above me. I looked to my right to see the bottom of a stone wall that opened up above. I could see sunshine and skinny tree branches. I turned to my left to see a bloodied face: Sawyer's. I took in a sharp breath as I took in his appearance. He was still passed out. I turned my chin up to see Kate kneeling beside him, looking down at him and brushing his hair over his ear.

"Kate?" I asked, my voice thick and heavy in my throat. She looked up at me quickly and leaned over Sawyer, touching my face and looking me over.

"Carmen… hey, are you okay?" She asked. I tucked my chin to my chest and sat up slowly, feeling every muscle in me resist my movements.

"Yeah… getting there, at least," I said, putting my hands behind me and supporting myself on my wrists. "Where are we?"

"The temple… it's okay, we're safe here... I think," Kate answered. I nodded and looked around me. I didn't exactly feel comforted, but it was a start, I guess. I could see Miles, sitting alone in a corner near Jin, and Jack also sitting alone, looking pensive. I saw Sayid lying down on a mat on the opposite side of the room.

"Sayid," I started, knowing that I wouldn't like the answer to my question, "is he alive?" I waited for an answer, and when I didn't get one, I turned to Kate to see a solemn face. She shook her head slowly and softly.

"Carmen," Jack called. I turned back to him and watched as he approached me. He knelt in front of me. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Jack," I said, brushing his hand away when he tried to look into my eyes. "They didn't hit me in the head, they just hit me in the stomach… I just was too tired to take it," I said. Jack nodded. Miles had walked up to us and now stood behind him. We made eye contact for a moment, but I quickly looked away. I was still kind of upset about the fact that he didn't want to talk to me. Suddenly, I heard a bell ringing. I looked out to my side. "What is that?" I asked. Jack shook his head and stood up. Miles and Jin followed him. Kate helped me up slowly; every bone in my body ached. I looked out across the open field to see a huge stone structure; what must be the actual temple. Lots of men and women in ratty clothing ran about, looking panicked. They fired something like a firework into the air; I heard it pop in the sky. Hurley was standing with a skinny man with glasses like John Lennon across the way. Jack approached them. I heard some yelling and debating. I watched the men around the perimeter setting up barriers in front of the doors and gates out of the temple. When Jack and the rest started coming back, I leaned forward, my weight resting against a wall. "What's happening?"

"Dude, are you okay?" Hurley asked. Before I could answer Hurley, Miles answered my question.

"They're shutting us in to protect us from something out there," Miles said, trying to make eye contact with me. I nodded somberly, and looked back up at Hurley, never looking at Miles.

"I'm okay," I answered. Hurley smiled a little, but it was a restrained smile. I tried to stand up straight, but I felt a stabbing feeling in my stomach. Hurley grabbed my hands and helped support me a little. I leaned on him a lot, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Here let me," I heard Miles say. As soon as I knew he was coming to help me I pulled back from Hurley.

"I'm good," I said, stumbling back a little at the shock of supporting my own weight. I steadied myself and walked forward to where Sayid was. I knelt down beside him; more like fell to my knees, really. I put my hands softly on his chest and leaned forward, resting my forehead on my hands. I heard footsteps near me and I turned my head to see Jack. He sat down next to me. I looked back down at Sayid's chest. "Do you remember… the night that the marshal died?" I asked.

"What?" Jack answered quietly after a while.

"The first week we were on the island… when you took care of the marshal. And Sawyer shot him, and… I held his hand while you strangled him to death," I said, remembering the blood that the man spit up, the horrible noises he made… the way he squeezed my hand as he lost his grip on life. I didn't hear Jack answer me, but I knew he remembered. Nothing could take away that memory. "You left after it happened, and… I saw him and couldn't believe it." I felt the tears rising in my throat and even crawling into the corners of my eyes, but I couldn't stop the memory. "I got up and I ran out of the tent. I ran away from Sawyer, and you… even Boone. I just ran. I didn't want anyone to stop me because I was so naïve, and shocked and… well… scared." Tears dribbled onto my hands. "And I ran to a tree and just collapsed. I was far from camp, I don't even know how far I really went. And I heard someone come up behind me. I thought it was Sawyer, I thought… I thought he was coming to talk to me, and I was so angry. I just turned around and, without even looking up, I started hitting him and smacking him with everything I had. When he finally caught my wrists, I looked up and… it wasn't Sawyer. It was Sayid. He didn't know me… he didn't know a thing about me, but… but he came. He followed me and he held me. He held me while I cried." I sat up and looked down at his body. He was so still. "I never thanked him for that." I let a breath escape from my throat like a hiccup. Jack's hand drifted on to my shoulder and squeezed.

"I'm sorry," He said. I nodded a little while I bit my lip and tried to stifle the cries.

"Yeah," I answered. I quickly brought my hands to my face and wiped my tears. "Yeah, me too." I looked up when three men I didn't know came into the room. The one in front was the man with the John Lennon glasses that I saw talking to Jack earlier.

"Are you Shepard?" The man called.

"Yeah," Jack said, letting his hand fall from my shoulder.

"We need to speak to you privately," He said. I turned over my shoulder to look at Jack. He rubbed his eyes.

"If you've got something to say to me, then say it. Otherwise, just leave me alone," Jack replied. I looked up at the John Lennon man anxiously.

"I don't think you're understanding me here. I'm asking politely. You either get up and come with us on your own, or I'll have you dragged out. Because…" The man kept talking, but I watched Jack as he lifted himself to his feet.

"Jack, don't," I quietly pleaded, not wanting to start another fight. I was too tired to physically defend him. Jack walked towards the men.

"Is that right?" Jack asked, challenging the men. I slid off my knees towards Jack and leaned on my wrists. He pushed one man into the wall as the other attacked him.

"Jack," I called, afraid for him.

"Jack!" Hurley yelled. I turned to look at him, and saw him look towards me. He looked worried; no… petrified.

"Oh my God," The John Lennon man said, looking at me as well. The men stopped combating Jack, and even he turned and looked to me, confused and scared. What did they see? I looked myself over, and just as I looked down at my hands, I caught something moving out of the corner of my eye. Sayid's foot moved. His whole leg was moving. I turned around completely to see Sayid sitting up, resting on an elbow, much more alive than I was previously told. I fell back off my knees completely and scooted myself away in a terrified scramble. I thought he was dead…

"What happened?" Sayid mumbled to Jack as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

**I definitely forgot how long this episode was... oops. Haha, I'm excited for the ones to come!**


	92. What Kate Does

**Guys, I am so sorry… I thought that RV trip would give me more time to write, but it took up a lot of time, and then I caught shingles (which sucks, if you've never had it)… now that I'm getting better, I'm going to try to keep writing and just plow through this last season (even though it breaks my heart). Thank you for all of the action you've been giving this story through reviews and favorites and alerts; I looked at my email and felt such a swell of pride and excitement that I put my summer session class aside and decided to take some time for Carmen. Anyways, enough jibber jabber from me! Here's What Kate Does!**

I crouched behind Jack, looking over his shoulder at Sayid who seemed just as disoriented as the rest of us, and almost angry.

"Miles, can you go get some water?" Jack asked Miles.

"Yeah… on it," He answered from behind me, softly and nervously.

"Sayid… hey, how you feeling?" Jack asked. Sayid leaned back into Hurley's arms. I saw Jin kneel next to me out of the corner of my eye.

"A little light-headed," Sayid answered. Jack laughed lightly in reply. "Jack…. What happened to me?"

"You died," Jack answered. I brought my fingers to my mouth and bit my index finger nail out of nervous habit. Jack lifted a finger and tried to track the movement of Sayid's eyes. I kept my eyes fixed on Sayid. "Can you stand?" Jack asked Sayid. He didn't answer, but Jin, Jack and Hurley stood, readying themselves to help him up. I stood and watched as they stood Sayid up. He looked weak. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched silently. "Let's take him outside," Jack said as he wrapped Sayid's arm over his shoulder. I followed them and Jin outside into the sunlight, unsure of what to do.

"_Hey!" Jim called to a cab that drove past us. He threw his hand down at his side in frustration. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. "You laughing at me?" Jim turned to me. I smiled._

"_I offered to help," I said, keeping my arms folded over my chest._

"_Yeah, I heard ya the first time," He said, looking back out at the road. I giggled a little under my breath. Jim waved his arms at the next cab as if he were flagging down a plane. The cab slowly pulled up to the curb and it's light on top turned off. "Finally," Jim said. I picked up my bag and brought it to the curb. Jim picked up his suitcase and put it in the trunk. He picked mine up and stacked it on top of his._

"_Thank you," I said quietly as he loaded my bag into the cab._

"_No problem," He answered with a small smile on his face. I walked to the side of the cab and got in the backseat. Once Jim climbed into the cab, the driver asked where we wanted to go._

"_Wilshire Boulevard, Tenten building," Jim said. I glanced sideways at him._

"_You know where I live?" I asked._

"_Of course. Why wouldn't I?" Jim asked, shrugging. The cab began to pull away from the curb. I guess it made perfect sense._

"_Right," I smiled and laughed, looking down at my hands. Things were quiet for a second._

"_You okay?" He asked me. I looked up at him quickly._

"_Yeah," I answered quickly. I was lying. I didn't really feel okay… I felt nervous. I didn't feel like talking to Jim about it was a smart idea, but I really wanted to. "Why?" _

"_You're just… quiet," He said, looking back ahead of him. I smiled a little and looked back down at my hands._

"_Well, I'm kind of just a more reserved person," I answered. I was lying again._

"_Do you…" Jim started to ask me, but a bang on the back of the car and a yelling man interrupted his thought. The cab jolted to a stop. I jumped in my seat and turned to my side to see a man in a nicer outfit with a swollen spot on his forehead bang on the door. He looked intensely at me, then at Jim, then ran ahead of our car._

"_What the hell?" Our driver yelled at the man._

"_That guy was on our plane," Jim whispered to me. I watched after him as he peered into every cab window he passed._

"_What's his problem?" I asked._

* * *

Jack sat Sayid down on a large smooth stone outside of the inner temple.

"Who are these people?" Sayid panted out. I stood beside Hurley. "What do they want?"

"It's the Others, dude. They caught us. Again. I don't know, I think… they're trying to protect us," Hurley explained slowly.

"As you can see, Hugo here has assumed the leadership position, so… that's pretty great," Miles said in his sarcastic, rude way. It at least got a small smile out of Sayid before he looked down at Jack, who was examining his abdomen.

"What?" Sayid asked.

"The wound… it's almost completely closed," Jack said. I looked past Jack to see Sayid's stomach with all but a small scar left on his stomach. Sayid lowered his shirt.

"Thank you, Jack," He said.

"For what?"

"Saving my life," Sayid clarified. I leaned back… whatever happened didn't happen because of Jack. A door slammed open from the temple and the Chinese man came out. He walked hurriedly to Sayid and staggered to a stop in front of him. He mumbled something quietly in his native language. The man with Lennon glasses stood beside him.

"Mr. Jarrah, will you come with us please?" He asked.

"Come with you where?" Sayid replied.

"Inside. Nothing to worry about, we just…"

"I'm coming with him," Jack insisted, stepping forward.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We need to talk to him alone. Just a few questions," Lennon-man answered.

"You have a few questions? Well so do we, let's start with who are you? Why are you holding us here?" Jack asked angrily. I crossed my arms over my chest. Jack being bitter and angry wasn't going to get us anywhere fast. The Chinese man interrupted Jack and said something to his translator.

"Once we've spoken to Mr. Jarrah, we'll be more than happy to tell you everything you want to know," He said after a moment's hesitation.

"Something tells me that you're not going to be happy to tell us anything," Jack said, getting in the Chinese man's face. I waited a moment, unable to see the Chinese man. He mumbled something, and a man stepped forward and attacked Jack.

"Stop!" I yelled running forward to help. I heard Miles behind me, and felt him reach towards me, but I escaped his grasp and landed in the arms of a man fighting to keep me still. A gun shot rang in my ears. I lowered my head in protective fear as I heard a second shot fire. The man loosened his grip on me. I turned to see Sawyer holding a pistol and pointing it at the man in Lennon glasses. The man holding me let go and pulled out his own gun. The Chinese man gave an order.

"Don't shoot!" His translator called out. "Lower your weapons!" I stood up straight and stared after Sawyer. "Please, you don't have to do this. We won't hurt your friend."

"He ain't my friend. Do what you want with him, and anybody else. But me? I'm walking out of here," He said, backing up, his gun still pointed.

"James," Kate called, stepping forward.

"I'm gone! Understand?" He said, throwing aside a board that kept a door closed.

"Please," The Chinese man said. "You have to stay."

"No, I don't," Sawyer answered. I stepped forward.

"Sawyer, wait!" I called, trying to follow him.

"You stay!" He yelled at me, stopping and pointing the gun at me. I froze in my steps. He was threatening me. My Sawyer was threatening me.

"Sawyer!" I called. I felt tears coming to my eyes. He didn't want me to come with him. He didn't want me near him anymore. "Sawyer, please," I called again, quieter. He opened the door to leave the perimeter. He looked back at me with anger, but also regret and guilt in his eyes. I felt a tear slide out of my eye. He looked at the ground, then back up, but not at me; at Kate.

"Don't come after me," Sawyer said. He closed the door after him… he was gone. I crouched low to the ground, feeling defeated, and more alone than ever. My hands quickly found Boone's necklace around my neck. I needed him… I needed someone. I heard dragging feet, and the Chinese man say something.

"Hey! Hey!" I heard Jack yell, but I didn't know what he said after that. I couldn't look up, but I was sure Sayid was gone.

"Jameson!" I heard someone call. It took me a moment to realize they were calling me by my last name. They knew my last name. Someone's hand landed on my back, and there was a face in front of me.

"Where did Ford go?" Lennon said. I shook my head.

"Leave her alone!" Jack yelled.

"Calm down! Everyone calm down!" I heard a man yell angrily.

"Where did he go?" Lennon asked again, slower.

"I don't know," I breathed out, shaking my head.

"Where is he?" I heard a man scream down at me. I flinched a little, but more out of the fear of being alone.

"Stop it! Leave her!" Miles yelled.

"I don't know," I said louder and firmly, looking up and pushing the man in Lennon glasses away from me. The man who had screamed at me grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer.

"Yes, you do!" He screamed.

"No, I don't!" I screamed back. I recognized the man; he was the man that was in charge of getting me hypnotized back when we were taken by the Others. The man that I'd tricked and almost escaped from.

"I can bring him back," I heard Kate say. She approached me and the man holding me. He abruptly let me go.

"You know where he went?" Lennon glasses asked.

"No, but I can track him," She said. "Let me go, I will bring him back, and I can make him stay."

"Kate," I heard Jack whisper, "you sure you want to go out there alone with these people?"

"I'll go with her," I said, wanting desperately to get back to Sawyer.

"No, not you," The man in glasses answered quickly.

"Then I'll go with her," Jin said, stepping forward. I stared at the man in glasses furiously.

"Why not me?" I snapped back at him. He hesitated and looked around him at the other people around us.

"Kwon will go with her," He answered me. I felt desperately vulnerable. I wanted to crash to the ground and lie there. "It's very important that he gets back here safely. What makes you think he'll listen to you?" He asked Kate.

"I can be very convincing when I want to be," She answered. I rolled my eyes and let out an annoyed sigh, walking away. I sat down on a large flat rock to the side and pulled my knees into my chest, clutching Boone's necklace in one hand.

_The cab rolled down the road. For L.A. midday, traffic was fairly good. I looked back down at my lap._

"_So?" Jim asked me. I looked sideways at him._

"_So what?" I asked after a moment._

"_How did you like it?" He asked. I shook my head, not understanding his meaning. "Sydney? How'd you like it?" I nodded._

"_Oh… yeah, it was… it was great. It was absolutely beautiful. The beach I was looking at was incredible. It would've been perfect, but… you know, L.A.'s beach will do just fine," I said, smiling a little and nodding. He nodded._

"_Well if you liked it so much, why not have the wedding there?" He asked. I shook my head. I didn't know if it was too personal to tell him, but I didn't mind._

"_It's too expensive… we can't afford to fly everyone out there. I mean… a beach is a beach, it doesn't really matter," I said, looking down at my hands._

"_Is that so?" Jim asked me. I looked up at him. He could tell I was disappointed. I smiled weakly at him._

"_It's fine," I answered._

"_Are you?" Jim asked after a moment. I looked up at him and laughed a little bit._

"_What's up with the interrogation?" I asked, starting to feel pressured. He smiled and looked down at his own lap._

"_Just asking. I know that, for a woman, her wedding day is a big day. It's supposed to be your day," He said, looking back up at me. I nodded and smiled faintly._

"_Well, I'm happy, so…" I said, but I could feel the thought ending as more of a question than a statement. He held eye contact with me for a moment, as if he expected me to go on. When I didn't, he raised his eyebrows and looked down at his hands, nodding. I looked ahead of me. I felt like he didn't believe me; like I needed to prove to him that I was really happily in love. I kept my mouth shut as I realized why I felt so conflicted. He didn't believe what I'd said because I didn't believe it. I let out a deep breath as the cab sped down the freeway._

"Carmen?" Miles asked me over my shoulder. I was completely zoned out, and turned to see him staring at me. He must've said my name a couple of times already.

"Yeah," I answered, looking back at my knees. He paused before saying anything else.

"Do you wanna… talk…"

"No," I snapped, not looking at him. Miles was, at one point, someone that comforted me; someone I wanted to be around. He wasn't that man anymore. He made me nervous and angry, and made me feel more alienated than ever before. After a moment, I heard Miles walk away, dragging his feet. He was pouting because I didn't want to chat with him.

"Hey," a gentler voice said beside me. I turned to see Kate, stopping by my side. I looked back ahead of me and let out another annoyed sigh. "I just wanted to let you know that… he's gonna be okay." She said. I didn't answer her. She was trying to comfort me, I knew that, but I didn't want her to comfort me. She began to turn away when I finally worked up the nerve to stop her.

"He doesn't want you to come after him, you know," I said, stopping her in her tracks. I turned to look at her. "He said not to come after him. Yet here you are, ready to chase right after him." I said. She looked down at her hands. "You think you can just come back here and replace her?" I asked her. Kate looked back up at me, knowing I meant Juliet.

"I'm not trying to replace anyone…"

"Yeah, you are," I said calmly. Kate quieted. She knew I was right. "They were happy, you know. Really happy." Kate smiled and nodded at me, but I didn't smile… I missed Juliet. More than Sawyer probably realized; more than anyone realized. She taught me a lot, was there for me when I needed someone to be there for me, defended me when even Sawyer wouldn't; she was almost like a parent to me. My eyes met Kate's.

"I'll bring him back," She said quietly. I turned and looked out in front of me.

"Maybe," I answered quietly. I heard Kate walk away, but I never turned to watch her go.

* * *

"Hey!" Miles yelled to me. I looked up to see him from the small alcove of the temple we were in before. "Sayid's back!" After saying this, he ran back into the alcove. I let out a deep breath, got off my rock and went inside. When I got there, Hurley and Miles sat next to Sayid. Sayid looked distressed. I quickened my pace and hurried over.

"What happened?" I asked.

"They tortured him," Miles answered. I quickly knelt next to Sayid.

"What did they do?" I asked, looking into his eyes. He looked like he'd just been put through so much pain.

"They shocked me… with electrodes… and then they burnt me," He said.

"Why?"

"I don't know," He said, painfully surrendering to the situation. I looked around, needing help.

"Where's Jack?" I asked Hurley.

"He went in," Hurley said, looking back to the door into the inner temple where two guards stood. I stood up and hurried over to the guards.

"Carmen, wait!" Miles called, but I ignored him. When I reached the guards, they tensed their shoulders.

"I need to get Jack," I told them.

"You'll have to wait," They said. I looked between them in disbelief.

"You people just tortured my friend, I need a doctor!" I yelled.

"You'll have to wait, Miss," They said angrily. I wanted to smack them, to beat them until they were no longer in my way. But I felt soft, delicate fingertips touch on my tensed arms.

"Carmen," I heard Miles whisper behind me. I didn't break eye contact with the men until Miles pulled me away. I walked back to Sayid and Hurley silently, trying to contain the anger boiling up inside of me. I sat between Hurley and Miles for a while, until Miles spoke up.

"So… do you remember dying?" Miles asked Sayid.

"No," Sayid quietly answered.

"So… nothing? There wasn't anything? No white light, angels singing, no dead relatives?" Miles asked.

"I remember being shot," Sayid replied quietly.

"You're not a zombie, right?" Hurley asked. I held my head between my hands.

"No. I am not a zombie," Sayid answered plaintively.

"Hey," Miles called softly. I looked up to see Jack.

"Jack," I sat up.

"It's okay, uh… mind giving me and Sayid a minute?" Jack asked, taking a drink from Sayid's water.

"Yes, your private talks kind of freak me out, because they usually leave me having to do something I don't quite understand," Hurley answered, standing. I stood as well and led the way away, looking back over my shoulder as I left.

"We'll be in the food court if you need us," Miles said as we walked away. We went outside into the daylight and I sat back down on my rock, pulling my knees back into my chest. Miles sat next to me, but I tried to ignore him. Hurley stood off to the side. "Can we… talk?" Miles asked. I let out a breath and answered without looking at him.

"Sure," I answered. We were both silent a moment.

"Why won't… you talk to me anymore?" Miles asked quietly. At this point, Hurley was starting to feel awkward and slowly meandered away.

"It's not anything personal, it's just… things are harder since we've been back," I said.

"Do you even want…"

"Why didn't you say it?" I asked, looking sideways at him.

"Say what?" Miles asked.

"I know that right before the time jump, you were saying you loved me. Why won't you say it now?" I asked. At this, Miles shut up. "Why?" I asked again, softly. I wasn't so angry now… I just wanted him to say why. I didn't need him to, though… not really. I knew the answer. "It's because we're in our own time now, isn't it? You think that… you think we can get off this island and once we're in the real world… you'll just move on." Miles looked out ahead of him.

"Maybe I should… check on Sayid and Jack," He said. He didn't move. He looked at me, and I stared back at him. I slowly nodded. "It's not that I don't care, Carmen, I just…" He started to yell defensively.

"It's ok," I interrupted softly. I even managed to smile a little bit. Miles got up and hurried to the small alcove of the temple. I rested my forehead against my knees. I felt kind of relieved to not have a Miles-problem anymore. But I still felt lonely. I quickly brought my hand to my chest and found Boone's necklace dangling from my neck. I needed him now more than ever…

_We pulled up in front of my apartment complex with a slight jerk of the cab. I stepped out of the cab and went around to the trunk. Jim had gotten out as well and pulled my suitcase out of the back._

"_Here you go, Miss," He said, putting the bag on the ground at my feet. I picked the suitcase up by the handle on top._

"_Thanks, Jim," I said._

"_Anytime," He answered._

"_No, I mean… thank you for coming with me. It means a lot," I said. His big grin was plastered across his face._

"_Like I said… anytime," He replied. I smiled and brushed my hair behind my ear._

_"Maybe we can have you over for dinner sometime this week?" I asked. He nodded._

_"Just have the hubby let me know when. I'd love to," He answered. I smiled sweetly, then turned and carried my bag into the building._

"_Welcome home, Mrs. Leung," Mr. Baxter, the doorman, said to me._

"_Ah-ah, not yet," I smiled. "Still Miss Jameson. Just for a couple more weeks," I said. He smiled in jest back at me as he closed the door behind me. I hit the button for the elevator and went up to the sixth floor. While in the elevator I pulled my key out of my purse. Mrs. Leung… that would take some getting used to. A lot of getting used to. The doors opened and I walked down the hallway to my unit. I put the key in the latch and unlocked it, going in and locking it behind me. The apartment was silent. I looked beside the door and hung my keys up on the hook next to a picture of me and my parents. I put my suitcase down on the floor by the archway to the kitchen, and dropped my purse on the small end table below the mirror in our small opening room. "Hello?" I called. No one answered. After a moment, I heard a door open down the hall to our room. Finally, Miles came out of the hallway with just a towel around his waist, his hair wet._

"_Hey! You got back fast," He said. I smiled and shrugged._

"_Yeah, well… traffic wasn't bad," I said. He walked over to me and put his hand lightly on my shoulder, kissing my forehead._

"_Sorry I'm all wet, I just got out of the shower. A/C was being fixed in the office today so I spent as much time as I could away from the desk, but that didn't seem to help," He said, walking away from me and going into the kitchen. I smiled kind of softly, kind of disappointed in the disinterested greeting I got. "How was your flight?" He asked._

"_Good," I answered. "Bad turbulence… I thought the plane was going down at one point," I laughed out. I walked over to the sofa in our living room and crashed down onto it, the familiar feeling comforting under me._

"_What about Jim? He was good?" Miles asked, coming out of the kitchen with a glass of Coca-Cola in his hand._

"_Yeah, he was great, the whole time. He didn't come with me to see the beach, but he looked like he enjoyed himself," I said, covering my eyes with my hand. I wanted to close the drapes at the big window beside me, but I didn't want to get up now that I'd lain down._

"_Wasn't that the point of him going?" He asked._

"_Well," I paused. I didn't really need Jim to be with me every second of every day, but I knew that that was why Jim was supposedly coming with me. "He came with me when we went to do a lot of things, but I didn't need him on that one." Miles nodded. "Are you drinking Coke?" I asked. He looked down at his glass and nodded. "I thought you were going to stop drinking soda," I said, a little whining in my voice._

"_But I like soda!" He answered. With that, he took the glass back down the hall and into our room. I looked after him a moment, then covered my eyes again with my hand. I was unhappy and I knew it. Maybe I was just having pre-wedding jitters? Please say that was all… "Oh, and that Carlyle's place called. They said that the dresses that you asked for are in," Miles called from the bedroom._

"_Okay," I yelled in reply. I wanted a glass of wine… really badly…_

**Eep. So, just so everyone knows, I have motorcycle riding lessons this week (AHH I'M EXCITED) and I'm taking an online summer class for school, so I may not have a chance to write for a few days… it might not be till next Saturday, but please review and keep inviting friends to read because those email reminders I get remind me to stay on top of it! Thanks for reading! **


	93. Lighthouse

**I had a great request in a review for the last chapter: If you've seen the episode "The Substitute," you know that there's no place for Carmen to tell a story in it. However, a very important development happens for Sawyer. I won't answer any questions right now, but I will tell you this: your question will be answered, I promise! For now, here's Lighthouse!**

I picked up a small shard of stone from the dirt by my foot and rolled it between my fingers. I looked it over, then folded my fingers around it and flung it down into the pond in front of me. Across the small mass of water stood Jack, looking out at the ripples pulsating away from each other as each drop of rain hit the surface of the water. I looked past Jack to see the Chinese man walking towards him slowly. He stopped and paused. Jack noticed him as he settled in place at his side.

"I was afraid you'd left," He said quietly to Jack. I looked back at the ground and paid closer attention to the rain droplets as they landed in my hair.

"Is leaving an option?" I could hear Jack respond. I could just barely hear the conversation; I was just far enough away that I had to actively listen to understand what they were saying.

"Everything is an option. But I would have to stop you," The man replied as he sat down on a slab of stone. Jack sat down across from him, facing him.

"Well, I appreciate your honesty," He said.

"Your friends," The Chinese man started, "Ford and Austen and Kwon… they're not coming back, are they?" I slowly looked up, wanting to see Jack's response. I was nervous that Jack may try to keep me from knowing it if they weren't coming back, but he didn't seem to remember I was there.

"No. Probably not," He said. My eyes dropped a little.

"I appreciate your honesty," The Chinese man said. My attention turned to the ground. Jack was right, I knew it. I just didn't want him to be. I stopped listening to what they were saying; I didn't even know if they were talking anymore. My hand lifted instinctively to Boone's necklace that dangled from my neck. I still felt so alone…

* * *

I looked up at the tall wall. I couldn't climb it. I looked down at the base of the wall. I crouched down on my knees and dug my fingers into the moist dirt. I threw the clods of dirt aside and dug, but found only more wall reaching down into the ground. I wouldn't be able to go under it, not without going through the tunnel system that the others had guarded. I stood up, letting out a sigh. I knew I wouldn't be able to go through it; the others had all of the doors guarded, too. No way out. There was no way I was getting back to Sawyer. I looked down at the ground and kicked a clod of dirt a short distance. There was nothing to do but return to the center of the temple.

* * *

"Hey, where you been?" Miles asked me as I approached the center courtyard of the temple. He sounded angry.

"Nowhere, why?" I asked.

"Everyone's been freaking…" He continued, but he was interrupted.

"Jameson!" A man yelled at me. The man in John Lennon glasses hurried over to me, followed by several others. "Where's Shephard?"

"Jack?" I asked.

"And Reyes. Did you bring them back?" He asked.

"Bring them back from where? I was just by the wall," I said. The man silenced. "Did Jack and Hurley leave?" I asked desperately, turning to Miles. He raised his hands in a gesture saying 'Don't ask me.'

"We can't find them anywhere," The man answered me. My eyes drifted to the ground in disbelief. They didn't even tell me they were leaving. They abandoned me.

"Where's Sayid?" I asked Miles. He turned and looked towards the central area with the pool in it. I ran into the room, leaving Miles and the man in glasses and everyone else behind. I stopped in the doorway to see Sayid, sitting on the stairs into the pool, staring into the water. I walked over to him slowly and sat beside him. I felt on the brink of tears. We sat together silently a moment as I tried to choke back my tears, but I was having a lot of difficulty. All of my fears and worries and anxieties were bubbling over. I felt a tear slip out and decided to give up on choking them back. "Are you going to leave, too?" I asked, all of my anxious energy bursting out in the question. Slowly, Sayid turned to look at me. He saw my face, and slowly shook his head.

"I have nowhere to go," He said. I nodded.

"Just…" I choked on my tears a bit, "Just don't leave me here, okay?" I pleaded. He nodded, then looked back at the water again. It wasn't a very comforting answer, but it was something. I wanted to feel closer to Sayid; I wanted him to let me lean on his shoulder and cry it out. But I didn't feel comforted. I needed a little bit of comforting right now… more comforting than the cold chain around my neck could offer. I stood up and shuffled back outside, not knowing where I was going. As soon as I got outside, the muggy air took hold of me.

"Carmen," Miles called to me. "Hurley was looking for you earlier, I guess right before he left." I kept my eyes on the ground, but I knew what I wanted to do. I didn't care what Miles thought, or anyone thought, I just needed it. I kept my eyes low and walked straight over to Miles and flung my arms around his waist, burying my face in his shirt. "What are you…" He trailed off. His arms eventually came to rest on my back. A hot tear escaped out of my eyes as I clamped them shut. After a moment I let go of Miles and looked up at him.

"Thank you," I said under my breath. I quickly walked away and, without looking back, worked my way to the middle courtyard of the temple, where I sat on a rock to the side, clutching Boone's necklace tightly in my hand.

**Not an incredibly eventful episode, but we'll crank up the heat in the next episode! Also, for those that follow my personal life, too: I have a motorcycle license now! WOO!**


	94. Sundown

**Enjoy Sundown!**

I sat quietly on my stone in the center of the courtyard. I looked up at the overcast sky, trying to gauge what time it was. I couldn't see the sun, so I didn't know what time it was, but I figured it was probably a little after noon. After a moment, I watched Sayid walk out of the temple. He walked straight to his bag and water canteen and picked them up. I watched Miles approach him, and they started to talk. I got up off of my rock and hurried over.

"Banished? For what?" I heard Miles question. I stopped abruptly at Miles' side.

"What's going on?" I asked, leaning in towards Sayid.

"Apparently, I'm evil," Sayid said to me. "These people say I'm better off dead. Which is surprising, considering they were the ones who saved my life." Sayid started to turn and walk away. I hurried forward, but before I could say anything, Miles corrected Sayid.

"Well, actually, they're not," Miles said. Sayid paused. "They… they tried to save you, but… You were dead, man. For two hours. Trust me, when you sat up, they were just as surprised as the rest of us. So whatever brought you back, it wasn't them."

"You can't leave, Sayid, please," I said quietly, remembering our short conversation earlier. Sayid turned to me with something like sympathy in his eyes.

"They have told me to leave. I can't stay," He said.

"Then I'll go with you," I said. Sayid was going to say something to me, but a door slammed open on the perimeter of the temple. I turned to see a ratty haired blonde woman put her hands in the air. She was skinny and tan, and wore dirty, loose clothing. Every guard in the area readied their guns to fire.

"Stop! Don't shoot her!" The man in John Lennon glasses called, walking forward. The woman raised her head, and my breath stopped sharp as I recognized her.

"Claire," I uttered under my breath. I stepped forward, but Miles caught my arm in his hand and held me back. She hurried forward to the Chinese man.

"What are you doing here?" The man in John Lennon glasses asked.

"He wants to see you," Claire said to the Chinese man. The man said something in Chinese to a guard near him. "Speak English," She insisted to him. The man turned forward slowly.

"Who wants to see me?" He asked her.

"You know who," She answered.

"If he wants to see me, then tell him to come in," He said in a challenging tone.

"No, he wants you to go to him. He's waiting outside beyond…"

"I'm not a fool," The Chinese man interrupted Claire. "If I step outside this temple, he'll kill me."

"Oh. Then maybe you should send someone he won't kill," She said. With that she turned, and tried to leave.

"Stop her!" The Chinese man ordered. Two guards grabbed her arms. The Chinese man said something to the man in John Lennon glasses in his native tongue. He turned to leave, but the man stopped him.

"Uh, that's gonna be a little difficult. We can't find them," The man answered. Suddenly, I was sure that they were talking about Jack and Hurley. The Chinese man said something angrily in his native language, then turned and walked away. The man in John Lennon glasses looked to the guards holding Claire.

"Come on," He ordered. The guards pulled Claire after him. I lunged forward.

"Claire! Claire!" I called. I would have run to her, but Miles was still holding me back. She turned and looked at me. It took her a moment to recognize me, but as soon as she did her gaze softened a little.

"Come with me," The Chinese man said. I turned to see him looking directly at Sayid.

"I thought you wanted me to leave," Sayid questioned him.

"Things have changed," The Chinese man said. He looked at me a moment as Sayid stepped forward.

"I beg you: do not leave this temple," He said slowly and cautiously to me. I didn't answer, but returned his gaze with a nervous glance. I looked away after a moment, and Sayid and the man retreated into the temple. I broke away from Miles' grip and hurried in the direction that they took Claire.

"Carmen, where are you…"

"To get Claire!" I called back at him as I hurried away. I hurried down a darkened corridor that was lit by torches. "Claire!" I yelled. "Claire!" I turned down different hallways, looking for some clue of where she was. I searched for about ten minutes before I finally found the man in John Lennon glasses approaching me. "Where's Claire?" I asked him.

"She's safe, it's fine…"

"I want to see her!" I yelled at him, pushing him away from me.

"Go back to the courtyard…"

"If you want me to stay here, you'll let me see her! Now!" I yelled. At this, the man silenced for a moment.

"You get a minute. Just a minute," He said. I nodded quickly and followed him down the hallway until we got to a room lit by torches with a big hole at the end. Guards stood close by. The man gestured to the pit. I walked forward and looked into the pit to see Claire sitting at the bottom of it.

"Claire! Claire, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She said calmly. "They capture you, too?"

"Yeah," I answered, looking at the guards. "Something like that. Where have you been all this time?"

"Here and there," She answered. I got quiet.

"Where did you go that night? Three years ago? When you left Aaron?" I asked slowly. She looked up at me, then away slowly as if reminiscing.

"I met my friend that night," She said.

"Your friend?" I asked.

"Yeah," She smiled up at me like a little kid. "My friend."

"Who… who's your friend?" I asked.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll meet him tonight," She smiled. I was so confused… her friend?

"Alright, time's up," The man in glasses said.

"No, wait! Claire!" I yelled as he pulled me away. "Claire, I'll get you out of there, okay? Claire!" I yelled, but she never said another word.

* * *

As I walked back towards the courtyard, I saw someone I didn't expect to see for a while. Kate was walking towards me urgently.

"Kate!" I called. "Where's Sawyer?" I asked quickly.

"Carmen, Carmen, where did they take Claire?" She asked me.

"Where is Sawyer?" I asked again, adamant that my questions would be answered first.

"I… he wouldn't come back with me. He made me leave him at the barracks," She said quickly.

"And you did? You left him there alone?" I asked angrily. She shook her head, trying to find another answer. "Did you see Jack or Hurley while you were out there?"

"Yes. Yes, I did… they were going to some lighthouse. I saw Sayid leave, too, but he…"

"Sayid left?" I asked quickly. Kate nodded. I couldn't believe he'd left… he didn't say anything to me. I closed my eyes angrily. I was rapidly developing abandonment issues.

"Carmen. Where's Claire?" Kate asked me desperately. I opened my eyes and turned over my shoulder.

"Down that hall. Turn left, then right, then right again. You should run into that guy in the glasses pretty quickly," I said quietly. Kate hurried past me.

* * *

I sat with Miles. Apparently, Jin didn't come back with Kate. He was supposed to be on his way back here, but he never got here. Suddenly, all of the others were running around in a frenzy. I got up with Miles and we walked around, examining the chaos, until we found Sayid.

"Sayid!" I called. We hurried over to him.

"Hey, what happened out there?" Miles asked him angrily.

"I got a message," Sayid explained. "We either leave this place by sundown, or we die."

"A message from who?" I asked. Sayid looked into my eyes, but never answered my question.

"So, one minute you're banished, the next you're telling everyone they're gonna die," Miles said.

"That's the sum of it," Sayid replied.

"So, are we getting out of here, or what?" Miles asked.

"Not yet," Sayid said. He pulled a dagger off of his waist. "I have to return this." He walked away quickly.

"I'm not leaving this place without Claire," I told Miles.

"What do you mean? She started all of this," He said.

"They put her down in a pit, Miles! She can't get out unless we help her," I said. Miles put his hands on his head and turned around, examining the chaos. I looked at the main door of the temple and watched the people filter out quickly.

* * *

The sun was setting quickly. There wasn't much time left. Kate and I sat together, watching the guards at the door to the hall to get to Claire. We had agreed that as soon as the guards moved, we'd go get Claire and get out of here. But they weren't moving, and it was getting very dark.

"We can't wait much longer, Kate," I said.

"Should we just take them out on our own?" She asked.

"I don't think we have much of a choice," I said. We got up and walked over to Miles.

"Will he help us?" Kate asked.

"Miles," I called. He turned to me quickly, but before I could ask my question I heard the howl of the smoke monster. We looked around ourselves in nervous fear. I watched a tree shake near the perimeter of the temple.

"We gotta go now," Kate said, grabbing Miles' arm. A loud thud sounded… it was coming. "Run! Run! Run!" Kate screamed. I ran behind Miles away from the center courtyard. Kate veered down towards a hall to the left.

"This way!" Miles yelled.

"No! We have to get Claire!" I yelled at him. Miles kept running. I paused for a brief moment, then ran after Kate. We hurried down the twisting hallways, the sounds of the monster and screaming people filled my ears. I kept running. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat and my breathing in my legs. We finally reached the room Claire was in. Kate kicked a rope ladder down the hole to Claire.

"Claire, come on! Claire, we gotta go, you gotta get out of there!" Kate yelled down to her. I looked down to see her sitting calmly at the bottom of the pit.

"No," She muttured.

"What?" Kate yelled. I turned around as I heard the monster closer.

"Kate, go down there," I said, hurrying onto the ladder.

"What?" Kate yelled at me, trying to pull me back up.

"You'll be much safer here," Claire said quietly.

"She knows what she's saying!" I yelled. I didn't know how I knew she was right, but I knew she was. I got halfway down the ladder when I heard the smoke monster closer. I jumped down the rest of the way and fell a little. "Kate! Now!" I screamed. Kate turned around and looked behind her, then suddenly jumped down the hole, grabbing on to the ladder as she fell. The smoke monster passed overhead. I cowered closer to the ground as I watched it pass. I could see people being dragged along inside of it. It was like a tornado that had direction. I looked over at Claire once it passed. She smiled at me a little, then looked back up at the top of the hole. After a moment, Claire stood up. She looked up the ladder at Kate, who dangled there.

"It's safe, you know," She said. "You can go up now." I looked up at Kate as she climbed out of the hole cautiously. Claire followed and I went up last. Claire was waiting for me at the top and reached a hand down to help me stand.

"Thanks," I said to her. She smiled at me; part of me recognized the familiar Claire, but she was a different woman now. Completely different.

"He's a lot nicer in person, you know," Claire said to me. As we walked out of the room, I slowed.

"Who is?" I asked. She smiled.

"My friend. He can be a little intimidating when he works," She shrugged. I realized she was talking about the smoke monster. I slowed almost to the point of stopping. "Come on," She smiled. I followed her, afraid to ask any more.

We walked down the silent hallways and out into the courtyard. The night was only illuminated by the flaming torches now. Bodies were strewn around everywhere. I saw Sayid walking around the courtyard calmly. I stuck close to Kate; she was the most comforting person I had now. I veered away for a moment and picked up a handgun that lay next to a dead man. I checked to see it was loaded, then tucked it into the back of my jeans. I followed Claire and Kate outside of the temple to see a mass of people gathered behind one man; a man I was told was dead. John Locke smiled smugly back at us. I stopped dead in my tracks. I was baffled and confused. I turned to Kate, who looked just as confused. The group turned and John led them away from the temple.

"I thought you said Locke died," I whispered quietly to Kate.

"He did," She answered, just as confused as me. We walked together, lagging behind the group a bit. I stayed conscious of the gun in the back of my jeans. I didn't trust anyone around me, even Kate; I felt like I was in a cave full of sleeping bats, just waiting to make one wrong move and have them all wake and attack me. I was terrified. I knew that as long as I kept moving, no one would be able to see how much my hands were shaking.

**OH NO! Carmen, you're in so much danger! Lol I'll try to write again soon! **


	95. Recon

**If you remember, there's no reason to do the Dr. Linus episode, so here's Recon!**

I followed behind Sayid and in front of Kate. I stayed ever aware of the gun in my jeans. I looked over Sayid's shoulder at Claire, who looked content. After a while, we finally got to where we were going. A small makeshift tent constructed from airplane parts and tree branches was in front of us. There was some junk strewn about in front of it. I saw Jin ahead of us, leaning on a crutch, but he wasn't my first target; Sawyer stood ahead of us. I hurried forward and stopped in front of him.

"Hi," Kate said behind me.

"Hey, yourself," Sawyer replied, looking past me.

"Where have you been?" I asked him. His eyes fell back on me.

"Locke found me at the barracks," He said after looking over his shoulder at John.

"That man," I said quietly, getting closer to him, "is not Locke."

"I know," He answered quickly. "He says he can get us off the island." I looked back over Sawyer's shoulder at Locke. "I have to tell you something else, too." I looked back up at Sawyer. "He took me to this place, this cave, and…"

"Alright, everybody listen up!" Locke yelled, gathering us. I looked back at Sawyer, and he moved forward towards Locke. I assumed Sawyer would just tell me later…

* * *

"_What did you call this?" Jim asked me. I smiled as I swallowed my bite._

"_It's veal marsala," I replied, smiling at Miles. "It's Miles' favorite."_

"_I can see why," Jim replied. I couldn't help but keep smiling as I took another bite._

"_Well, I'm glad you like it," I said._

"_Yeah," Miles quickly added, "consider it our thanks for taking Carmen around Sydney." I rolled my eyes a little. Our thanks? I'm the one that did all of the cooking. "So where all did you go together?" I looked up at Jim. We didn't really go many places together when I thought about it. I would always offer for him to come with me when I went to look at potential sites for the wedding, or even when I was just looking around the city, but he always seemed to want to do his own thing._

"_Well, um… we found this great restaurant right on the harbor that was just so good," I said. I couldn't think of much else to say. We'd sometimes go out to lunch or dinner together, but I would notice he didn't get back into his hotel room next door until fairly late every night._

"_That's it?" Miles asked, leaning over his plate._

"_No, of course not," I laughed._

"_Remember that place you took me for breakfast? That place was great," Jim said, leaning over to me._

"_Oh yeah! Oh, Miles, you would have loved it. You picked a different culture's style of breakfast and they served it to you! I ordered some Indian, just to see what it was like, and it was kind of weird," I laughed._

"_It was spicy," Jim reminded me with a chuckle._

"_Yeah! Gosh, it was great. You would've loved it," I smiled. Suddenly it got quiet again._

"_So… restaurants?" Miles asked, still leaning over his plate. "That's all you did together? Eat?" I looked over at Jim. It kind of was. I was about to reply when Miles' cell phone rang. He didn't move for a second._

"_Miles, are you going to get that?" I asked. After a moment he got up, obviously aggravated, and picked up his phone from the counter._

"_Yeah," He greeted the person on the other line. As he spoke, I looked nervously to Jim. I hated that Miles was being so rude. Jim smiled calmly, though. I smiled back. "Okay, we're on our way," Miles said. He shut his phone. "Let's go," He said, pointing to Jim._

"_Go where?" I asked._

"_We got a call. Let's go. Now," Miles said, picking up his badge and putting it around his neck._

"_Now?" Jim asked, looking down at his plate._

"_Now! Move!" Miles said. I stood up as Jim got up to go._

"_You really have to go now?" I asked them both._

"_Yeah, let's move," Miles said. He flung open the door and hurried out with his jacket. Jim followed behind, but turned back to me._

"_Thank you for dinner," He said. I feigned a smile in reply._

"_Sometime you'll have to actually stay for all of it," I said. He chuckled under his breath._

"_Next time," He said. I nodded with a small smile. He closed the door quietly behind him. I looked down at the table beside my hip at the half filled plates. Suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore. Jim was more courteous and sweet to me than my own boyfriend was. No, not boyfriend… fiancé. Soon to be husband. I hurried away from the table, ignoring the nauseous feeling in my stomach._

* * *

"Alright, everybody, listen up!" Locke called, moving in front of the group. He walked past me and I felt a chill run up my spine as I turned and watched suspiciously. "Come on in, gather 'round… I know that everyone is tired. It was a long and traumatic night for all of us. And you all have got a lot of questions, I know, and I will make myself available to answer them. But right now, we need to keep moving. We have to take advantage of the daylight."

"We want to know what happened to the people who stayed behind at the temple," A woman sitting with two kids asked. I was sure that they weren't her kids judging by looks alone, but they seemed attached to her. I looked at the two nervous faces of the children, then at Kate, who stood across from me near Claire.

"The black smoke killed them," Locke said. My gaze turned to Claire. According to her, Locke was the black smoke. I still didn't understand it all, but I knew I should be terrified of this man. The children shuffled nervously, and Locke approached them. My shoulders tensed at his proximity to the children. "Hey… I know that what happened back there was really scary. But it's over. You're with me now, and I promise that I'm gonna take care of you. Okay?" He asked. The children smiled back a little. I felt sick knowing that this man was deceiving everyone. "Alright, let's move out." Sawyer moved over to Kate and invited me to follow with his gaze. I followed him. I wanted to hear Sawyer's take on this whole situation.

"Jack, Hurley, the rest of them, they make it out of the temple in time?" Sawyer asked.

"I saw them leaving on my way back," Kate said.

"What about Miles?" Sawyer asked, looking back at me. I frowned. He wasn't with us… I didn't see his body when I walked back through the destroyed temple, but I had no idea where he could be.

"I don't know," I answered.

"So you're with Locke now?" Kate stopped and asked Sawyer. I stopped as well, needing to hear his answer.

"I ain't with anybody, Kate," He answered. He looked back at me then kept moving forward. I made brief eye contact with Kate then followed after him.

* * *

I caught up with Sawyer after a while.

"Hey," I whispered. He kept moving forward, but at the same pace. "What happened to Jin's foot?"

"He said he stepped in one of Claire's bear traps," He said. I looked ahead to look at Jin, who was using an oar as a crutch.

"Sawyer, you said you had something to tell me? About a cave?" I asked. Sawyer looked up at where Locke was, leading the group, then back at me.

"He took me to this cave… it had numbers and names all over the walls… our names were there," He whispered very quietly to me.

"What?" I asked.

"Our last names… and they all had numbers next to them. Yours was there," He said.

"What was the number?" I asked, wondering if it was a corresponding birthday or age number.

"108," He answered. I hesitated… what could that mean?

"Did he tell you what it…"

"About a quarter mile ahead there's a clearing. We'll make camp there. Is everybody filled up on water? We might be there a couple of days," Locke said.

"A couple of days?" Sawyer snapped, hurrying forward. "I thought you said we were getting off this rock?"

"We are," He said.

"When?" He asked further. Locke looked down at me. I felt like a turtle, withdrawing into my shell.

"Maybe we should talk about this in private?" Locke asked Sawyer.

"Great, let's go," He said. Locke moved away and Sawyer started to follow. I caught his arm and gave him a look, pleading with him to not go. He slipped out of my grip and I watched him go. Kate put her hand on my shoulder, and I turned and followed her to the clearing Locke referred to.

* * *

"_What's this movie again?" Miles asked. I curled closer to him._

"_Love, Actually," I answered, leaning my head against his chest. His arm fell down around my shoulder, his hand resting on my lower back. "Shan said it was really good." Miles was quiet a moment. For a beautiful moment, I felt comfortable and cozy._

"_You still talk to Shannon?" He asked._

"_What do you mean? Of course I do," I said, wrapping an arm around his stomach._

"_Is she coming to the wedding?" He asked. I paused a moment and sat myself up, looking at him._

"_She's my maid of honor," I said._

"_Since when? Has she helped at all?" He asked._

"_Well… she's really busy with work right now. Besides, I don't want her pressuring me into decisions about my wedding," I said, laying back down against him, hoping he'd let it go._

"_Well, she won't be making a toast will she?" He asked. I wanted to give up. I just wanted a good evening with Miles, just to reassure myself, but all he was doing was picking arguments. His cell phone rang. "Oh, hang on," He said, taking it out of his pocket and answering it with the hand that was resting on me. "Yeah," He answered it. I stared at the TV, wishing life could be more like the chick flick. "She's a red head. How many red heads do you see? Be nice to her… Jim?" I heard Miles sigh and turn off his phone._

"_Did you set Jim up on a date?" I asked._

"_Yeah… family friend. Really nice girl," He said, readjusting himself. I kept my eyes glued to the screen, but I felt compelled to ask him if he felt like I did._

"_Miles," I started hesitantly, rolling onto my back so that my head rested in his lap. His hand fell to my hip. "Do you… feel nervous at all? About the wedding?"_

"_No. Well, I'm nervous about Shannon's toast," He answered._

"_No, I mean… you don't feel like we're rushing it at all, right?" I asked. He looked down at me._

"_No," He said adamantly. "Why?" He asked, almost angrily._

"_I was just…"_

"_What did he say to you?" Miles asked, furiously._

"_What did who say to me?" I asked quietly._

"_Jim!" He yelled. I hurriedly sat up, feeling like I was under attack._

"_Jim didn't say anything to me! What do you mean?" I asked._

"_You were fine before Australia, and now you're nervous about the wedding, you nag me, you're just being a bitch…"_

"_A bitch?! I've been cleaning up after you, cooking for you, I invited your partner over for dinner…" I started yelling back defensively._

"_Yeah, for Jim!" He yelled, turning to me on the couch. I let out an angry laugh._

"_You're angry at me for cooking dinner for your partner?" I asked. Miles turned off the tv and sat close to me, looking me in the eye with intense anger._

"_What happened in Australia? Did you guys… did he do something to…"_

"_Oh, God no! Miles, no! This has nothing to do with that!" I yelled, trying to get him to understand why I was nervous._

"_Then tell me what happened," Miles demanded._

"_This is what I'm upset about! You're angry, and mean, and jealous…"_

"_Tell me what happened!" He yelled._

"_Nothing!" I yelled back. I brushed the hair out of my eyes. "We barely hung out together! He said he was looking for some old friend of his! He went out all day and I wouldn't see him until evening!" Miles was quiet a second, thinking._

"_What was his name?" He asked._

"_What?" I asked, feeling exasperated. He didn't seem to care at all about why I was upset._

"_His name! The friend's name!" Miles yelled at me._

"_Cooper! Something Cooper!" I spit out._

"_Anthony Cooper?" He asked angrily._

"_Yeah," I answered. Miles grit his teeth and stood up, walking towards the door. "Where are you going?" I asked. I didn't feel as angry as I did just desperate… I needed him to listen to me. I could feel tears wanting to push past my eyes._

"_Work… I need to do some research," He said. Before I could ask him to stay, he was gone, the door slamming behind him. I leaned back against the couch. I refused to cry._

* * *

I had stared at where Locke and Sawyer would come back from for a while, waiting for their return. But when Locke came back, he was alone. I panicked. I hurried to Kate.

"Where did he take Sawyer?" I asked her quietly.

"I don't know… he didn't bring Sawyer back?" She asked.

"No," I answered quickly. I hurried over to Locke. I was afraid to talk to him, but I needed to know. "Where's Sawyer?" I asked quickly. Locke smiled at me.

"Hello, Carmen," He said.

"Where's Sawyer?" I asked again, feeling just as frantic. Locke paused.

"Sawyer's running a little errand for me," Locke answered.

"An errand?" I asked, hoping for clarification.

"Yes," He answered. I paused, waiting for more information.

"When will he be back?" I asked. Locke shrugged.

"I'm not sure… within the next couple of days," He answered, looking down at a mango he was splitting open. I wanted to know more, but the sound of a woman grunting attracted our attention. Claire had attacked Kate and was holding her at knife-point on the ground. Locke and I hurried over to them. Locke pulled Claire off of Kate and threw her aside. "What are you doing?" He calmly asked Claire. I hurried to Kate.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded as she picked up her rifle, looking terrified.

"She took him, she took Aaron!" She screamed savagely, trying to push past Locke.

"Claire, you had disappeared! Kate couldn't find you, she did what she had to do," Locke explained to her, holding her at bay.

"She took Aaron, she can't just do that to…" Claire screamed, but Locke slapped her. Hard. I stood with Kate and watched as Claire snapped back into the terrified, helpless version of herself I used to know.

"This is completely inappropriate. Now, go over there and I'll deal with you in a minute. Go," He ordered her. Claire turned timidly and sat beside the fire like a toddler in time out. "Are you alright?" Locke asked Kate.

"No, I'm not alright!" Kate yelled back in return. Locke turned and went to Claire's side. I wanted to help Kate, but I didn't know how I could. Kate held her rifle tight and started walking off through the jungle.

"Kate, where are you…"

"Just leave me alone," She said. I could hear she was crying a little bit. I felt like I had no option but to let her be. She stormed off quickly. I turned around to look at Sayid. He didn't look fazed by what had happened; he looked like the shell of a man. I sat alone by a tree, watching Locke lecture Claire.

* * *

_I sat with the radio on, waiting for Miles. We had an appointment to pick out flower arrangements that he said he'd come and help with during his lunch break. I looked up at the steps to the station to see Miles coming out, looking irritated. We made eye contact and he nodded. I smiled in reply. Things would have to start getting better. Someone called to Miles from a car that was parked ahead of mine, and they exchanged a few brief words. He held up a finger to me indicating to wait. I slumped back in my seat and waited. He got in the parked car and they stayed there a while. I turned the radio off, feeling annoyed. Of course this was happening. He was blowing me off again. I heard squealing tires behind me, but ignored them until they got loud. I looked out my window to see a car flying towards me. I shuttered as the car slammed into the car that Miles was in. I panicked and got out of the car, leaving the door open behind me. Whoever was driving that car opened the door and bolted across the street. I could hear sirens approaching._

"_Miles!" I called. The car he was in quickly started and they bolted off after the driver. "Miles!" I yelled after the car, but he was gone._

* * *

_I stood in the front of the station, waiting. Finally, the door opened and Miles walked in ahead of Jim._

"_What happened? Are you okay?" I asked him._

"_I'm fine," He said, pushing me away. Jim kept moving, pushing ahead of him the driver… who was the same woman that we shared an elevator with a few days ago at the airport. Miles followed after Jim._

"_Miles, what about the appointment?" I called after him._

"_You go, fill me in later!" He answered. I slumped over in disappointment as Miles disappeared into the station._

* * *

I sat quietly beside Kate with my head drooping over a log. I was so tired, but I was afraid to fall asleep.

"What's for dinner?" I heard Sawyer's voice. I sat up quickly to see him standing casually over me.

"Rabbit… I think," Kate answered. She didn't seem fazed by his return. He looked down at me. I tried to give a weak smile, but it was a lot to muster. He stepped over the log and sat next to me on the log. I leaned my back against the log. I just wanted to be closer to him right now… even if he was running errands for Locke.

"What are you doing running errands for Locke?" Kate asked, as if reading my mind. I kept my gaze fixed on the fire in front of me.

"I ain't running errands for nobody," Sawyer answered.

"He said he sent you over to the other island. Did you find the plane?" Kate asked.

"Yea. That ain't the only thing over there. Guy named Widmore set up camp on the beach. Got a whole team with him. Guys with guns," Sawyer said. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at Sawyer.

"Widmore? Like… the guy that sent the freighter?" I asked, remembering Desmond. It had been a while since I'd thought of him… at least it had felt like a long time.

"Yeah," Sawyer said. "They're here for Locke."

"So what are you gonna do?" Kate asked quietly.

"I'm gonna let them fight it out. And while they've got their hands full with each other, we are getting the hell off this island," He said, looking between me and Kate. Kate laughed a little to herself.

"Even if we could get on that plane, who's gonna fly it?" Kate asked.

"We ain't takin' the plane, freckles," He said. He looked down at me as he let out a deep breath. "We're takin' the sub."

**Sorry it's been a long time since I've written! I'll try to keep writing!**


	96. The Package

**I'm trying to finish LOST before I go back to school in September, so I might power through a few chapters! Here's The Package.**

Escaping to freedom on another sub. Wasn't I supposed to do that a few days ago? It felt like weeks since I had been on the last sub. I guess, technically, it had really been decades. But to my weird version of reality, it was just days ago. The only sounds I could hear were a few mumbles of people around me, the cracking of the fire in front of me, and the hollow sound of wood being chopped. I turned to see Sayid chopping the small logs. I watched Locke approach him and heard mumbles of conversation that I couldn't exactly make out. Then Locke walked off into the jungle. I watched him until his figure disappeared in the shadows of the trees. As soon as Locke disappeared, I saw Jin jump up and start gathering his things.

"Sawyer," I said quietly. He looked over to see Jin. I stood up and we walked over to him together.

"What are you doin', homes?" Sawyer asked Jin.

"I'm getting out of here before that thing comes back," Jin said, gathering his things.

"What thing?" Sawyer asked. Jin stood up abruptly.

"Locke," He said spitefully. "And you're just sitting around here listening to whatever he tells you."

"I ain't listening to nobody," Sawyer whispered angrily. "I already told you I have a deal with Widmore, so if you just calm…"

"It doesn't matter who you have a deal with!" Jin interrupted. "I've waited long enough. I'm going to find my wife."

"Find her where?" Sawyer asked.

"I'll go back to the temple. And if she's not there, I'll go back to the beach. But I will find Sun, so don't try to…" Jin defensively spat at Sawyer, but stopped abruptly. I noticed a small dart sticking out of Jin's chest.

"Jin!" I cried hurriedly. I heard Sawyer grunt and his hand grasped his neck.

"Run," Sawyer uttered quietly. I didn't hesitate. I hurried forward after the direction Locke had gone, thinking that even he sounded like a safer option. A sharp pain blasted through my right shoulder blade. I tripped as I lost my focus and fell forward on to my wrists. I reached my left hand back and felt the dart in my back. The few cries I could hear sounded muddled. My eyes closed of their own accord and the noises faded until I blacked out.

* * *

"Carmen!" I heard a familiar voice calling me. I opened my eyes, but quickly closed them as the sunlight overtook my sight. "Carmen, are you alright?" The man's voice asked slowly. I lifted my head a little and opened my eyes just a small bit to see Locke's head. I quickly gathered my senses and sat up. "Are you okay…"

"I'm fine," I answered. Quieted bodies lay everywhere, but no one looked dead. We had been ambushed. "Who did this?"

"Widmore's men… I think," Locke answered. I turned to see Sawyer grunting and slowly lifting himself up.

"Sawyer," I mumbled. I got to my feet and left Locke to help Sawyer, who was just starting to stir.

* * *

I sat beside Sawyer, watching Sayid and Locke get ready to leave. I was sure that they were going to go find Jin and bring him back, but I knew that they had guns. I was worried for Sayid's safety, but Sayid didn't seem to care. As soon as they got up to leave, Sawyer stood.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To get answers," He said quietly. He hurried over to Locke and Sayid and they talked quietly.

"Hey," I heard a soft voice from behind me. I turned to see Claire. After she'd attacked Kate, I was kind of afraid to trust her, but to me, I couldn't see anything besides the same Claire I used to know and care about.

"Hey," I answered, trying to fake a small smile. She approached slowly and sat beside me on the log.

"I wanted to ask you something," Claire said quietly and slowly. I rested my hands beside my hips on the log.

"Go ahead," I insisted.

"Just… Locke said something about a cave with people's names on it," She said. "Is your name there?" I nodded slowly.

"Yeah… Sawyer said so," I nodded. She nodded.

"That means that Locke will keep you safe," She said. I shook my head.

"Why?" I asked.

"He said that… you're a candidate," She said.

"Candidate for what?" I replied. She looked down at her knees. I looked down at mine in reply.

"Can you just promise me that you won't leave me? You won't leave me behind when you all leave?" She asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Of course," I said. "I won't leave you. I promise." She feigned a small smile, and I could see tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. I put my hand down on top of hers and wrapped my fingers around her hand. She gripped mine in return and let out an exasperated breath and smiled, wiping an eye with her free hand. I smiled back at her comfortingly. As she quieted, I looked back out at the burnt embers of a fire from last night. A candidate for what?

* * *

I sat silently with Claire beside the burning fire, waiting for something to happen. I heard breaking twigs in the jungle and turned to see Locke returning… alone. Sawyer was getting up to talk to him.

"I'll be right back," I said to Claire. She smiled. I got up and hurried over to Sawyer. By the time I got to him, Locke was moving away. He gave a cheery nod in my direction as I passed. "Where's Jin? And Sayid?" I asked Sawyer quietly.

"Sayid's doing intel, apparently," Sawyer said. "And Widmore's got Jin." I watched after Locke. I was still hesitant to believe anything he said. For all I knew, Sayid and Jin were both dead.

**Shorter chapter, but I'll write more soon! :)**


	97. Everybody Loves Hugo

**There's no Happily Ever After episode for Carmen, so here's Everybody Loves Hugo!**

"We've been waiting too long," I quietly snapped at Kate.

"What do you want to do? Interrogate Locke?" Kate asked back. I quieted. Personally, no, I did not want to interrogate Locke. But someone had to.

"Why not?" Sawyer asked from behind me. I stood up quickly. "Come on," He said. He led the way over to Locke, who was sharpening a wooden stick to a point. I followed, taking one backward glance at Kate, who got up slowly to follow me, grabbing her rifle.

"That gonna be a spear?" Sawyer asked Locke ahead of me. I slowed behind him and stood nervously with my hands on my hips.

"I'm not sure what it's gonna be yet, James," Locke answered. "When the time is right, it'll come to me."

"You talk to wood now?" Sawyer snapped.

"Sawyer," Kate said, beckoning for him to calm down. She sat down on a log, looking at Locke.

"What?" Sawyer snapped again.

"Is there something I can do for you three?" Locke asked, looking between all of us.

"Is there something you can do? How about anything?" Sawyer answered angrily. "Those bastards on the other island grabbed Jin, we're just sittin' around twiddling our damn thumbs, doin' nothing about it."

"There's a difference between doing nothing and waiting," Locke explained, working hard on his spear.

"So what are we waiting for?" Kate asked, her hand grasping the back of her neck. Locke stopped working on his spear and looked to Kate.

"You were only able to come back to this island because you all did it together. If we're gonna get on that plane and leave, it has to happen the same way. We're waiting for your friends to get here, Kate. Hugo, Sun, Jack. That's the only way we're ever getting off this… God forsaken rock," He said bitterly.

"Well, I don't see that happening," Kate fired back.

"Well let's just hope you're wrong," Locke quietly answered. His look calmed and focused. I turned around to see Sayid approaching me from behind. Sawyer turned and walked in front of me to confront Sayid.

"Where you been?" Sawyer asked, a sound of worry overcoming his anger. Sayid looked past him at me, and his gaze communicated something to me; as if he knew something that I didn't. Something I needed to know. He quickly turned to Locke.

"Can I speak to you in private?" He asked. Locke quickly stood.

"Absolutely," He said, and the two tromped off into the jungle.

* * *

"_Hello?" Shannon answered her phone._

"_Shannon, where have you been? I've been calling you all morning," I said into the phone. Along with my purse, I carried a small bag with my shoes, strapless bra, and a few other things I needed for my fitting._

"_Yeah, I know," She answered slowly. My brisk walk slowed to a stop and my head fell to the side._

"_You're not coming. Are you?" I asked, knowing the answer fully well._

"_Something came up," She answered after a while._

"_Shannon, please, I am begging you. I need you today. Miles hasn't helped me with anything, I have been running around doing everything completely alone, I've taken so much time off of work, I just need you to be here today," I explained desperately, moving forward again._

"_Look, the appointment was made, the people there are really nice, they'll give you an honest opinion," She said._

"_It's not the opinion, Shannon! I need someone to be there with me! I just need you to be my friend and eat cake and drink champagne while I try on dresses! Please!" I begged. I knew I was louder, but I was desperate._

"_Carmen, I have to go. Call me later, I'm sure it'll go fine," She said._

"_Shannon, wait!" I called into the phone, but she didn't answer. "Shannon? Shannon?" I asked, hoping she was just quiet. I pulled the phone away from my face and saw that the call had ended. I stopped and lowered my hand, looking up into the sky. It looked like it was going to rain. I hurried forward, rushing to my appointment at Carlyle's._

* * *

After a half an hour or so, I saw Sayid come back into camp alone. I stood anxiously. The look he gave me earlier stuck with me. I wanted to know what he found. After he got back into camp, he made eye contact with me. He stayed on the edge of the camp, staring back at me. I walked over slowly. When I reached him, he only continued to stare at me.

"What did you find?" I asked hesitantly.

"It is not for me to say," He answered, keeping his chin down and his gaze fixed. I stared back into his eyes. The eyes where I could once find some comfort and warmth now only felt cold and empty.

"What happened to you?" I asked him, wanting the old Sayid back. He didn't answer me… he just kept the same fixed, hardened gaze. I slowly turned and walked away, almost afraid to turn my back on him. I figured I would ask Locke when he got back… I wanted to know what he found, but not enough to want to talk to Sayid any longer.

* * *

"_Welcome to Carlyle's," The woman at the front desk said to me as I walked in. "Do you have an appointment?" She asked. I got the feeling that if I had said no, I would be turned away._

"_Yes, it's under Rutherford," I explained as I reached the desk._

"_So you're Carmen," A man asked me. I looked to the side of the front desk to see a young man in a blazer and nice jeans. He wore a chain necklace and had nice hair, but what struck me most were his piercingly blue eyes. He was quite handsome._

"_Yes," I answered, almost as if it were a question._

"_I'm Boone," He said, walking around the counter to meet me. "Boone Carlyle, I'm… I'm Shannon's brother." I nodded._

"_Oh, right! Great to meet you," I said. I wanted to shake his hand, but I had my coat in one hand and my bag in the other._

"_I thought Shannon was coming with you," He said, making it sound like a question._

"_Yeah, well… I thought she was too," I said, letting my frustration show in my tone. He laughed._

"_Yeah, that sounds like Shannon. Here, let me help you," He said, taking my things from me. "I'll take you to the dressing room, and we can see how those dresses fit." He smiled brightly at me and I nodded gratefully._

"_Great," I said, following him behind the reception hall to the dressing rooms._

* * *

"_I don't know… it's really… poufy," I said, bouncing my hands off my skirt. I felt like a Barbie birthday cake._

"_I think it is just darling," The woman helping me dress said._

"_No, she's right," Boone answered. The woman quieted, knowing her opinion was now moot. "She has a slim figure, she doesn't need all this… embellishment." The woman nodded._

"_Well then… shall I help you out of it?" She asked, folding her hands in front of her chest. I nodded._

"_Yes. Thank you," I said, smiling at Boone once more before retreating into the large undressing booth._

"_Miss Jameson?" Boone called over the door._

"_Oh, p__lease, call me Carmen," I smiled as I stepped out of the ridiculous skirt._

"_Okay… Carmen… would you like some champagne?" He asked. I smiled a little at the top of the door. He practically read my mind._

"_That would be amazing," I said, letting out a sigh. As the woman helped me out of the bodess, she nodded at a floor length silk robe on a hanger._

"_You can put that on and get some champagne. I have to get this next dress ready," She said, walking away. I smiled and walked to the robe, slipping it on and tying it closed. I walked out of the dressing room and towards the mirrored area with couches that were supposed to be filled with my friends and family. Boone stood there with two glasses of champagne. I smiled as I took one._

"_Thank you," I smiled. He gestured for me to sit with him, and we sat together on the couch._

"_So did you not want anyone else to come to your fitting? This is usually a full room," He said. I took a long sip of the champagne, feeling embarrassed by my answer._

"_Well, I have no family, really. My parents aren't really around anymore. And my other bridesmaids have work," I said, looking down at my glass. I felt humiliated._

"_Oh… I'm sorry," He said, sipping the drink. I forced a smile._

"_So how did you get into the bridal gown business?" I asked._

"_Shannon didn't tell you?" He replied. "My mom started the company… made me CEO."_

"_Wow. Why are you here then?" I asked, noticing a CEO shouldn't be helping me try on dresses._

"_I was doing a favor for Shannon, supposedly," He said. I smiled. "But I'm glad I came." I looked up at him, almost desperate for a friend._

"_You are?" I asked._

"_Yeah," He smiled cutely at me. "Free champagne." I laughed at his answer and looked down at my own glass. I felt so dumb; I was looking for comfort from a guy I just met. "Are you okay?" He asked. I looked back up at him slowly._

"_Great," I said, almost unable to fake a smile._

"_Are you… sure?" He asked, hesitating. I looked back into his piercingly blue eyes and could see he felt the same awkwardness. He seemed so sweet and comforting. I felt tears crawling up my throat. I quickly looked down and nodded. I wanted to say something, but I knew I couldn't hide it in my voice; I was about to break. I brought my hand to my face and tried to laugh it off, but my small laugh led to tears. "Hey, hey," He whispered quietly, moving a little closer to me. I quickly sat up, knowing how inappropriate it was for me to be crying with this man I didn't know._

"_I'm fine, I'm fine," I said, putting the glass down and wiping my eyes. "I'm just… tired, I'm tired, that's all," I said, trying to excuse it. He put his glass down beside mine._

"_You know, I see a lot of brides come in here… I may not love selling dresses or anything, but I do love that most of the women walk away happy," He said, leaning towards me. I nodded._

"_Miss Jameson?" The woman called me from the changing room. "I'm ready for you." I nodded and smiled a little at Boone, then stood and walked away from Boone._

* * *

I waited and watched for Locke to come back. When I could finally see his figure approaching Sayid's from the jungle, I moved forward to a tree and pretended to occupy myself. I listened closely for them to talk.

"Where's our friend?" Sayid asked.

"We don't have to worry about him anymore," Locke answered. A man? Who were they talking about? Sayid walked past me and back towards Claire. I watched Sawyer walk up to Locke. I turned away from the tree and headed closer to them.

"Where you been?" Sawyer asked angrily.

"I went for a walk, James," Locke answered shortly after taking a sip of water.

"Well now that you've stretched your legs, maybe you can…" Sawyer stopped when I grabbed his forearm. Someone was walking towards us, torch in hand. Locke turned around to face the new person and my breath almost stopped when I saw who it was. "Son of a bitch," Sawyer said out of shock. Hurley walked slowly towards us, calmly. He was alone.

"Um," He started, looking between Sawyer and I, then behind us at everyone else, and at Locke. "Hey."

"Hello, Hugo," Locke said, nodding at him, greeting him as a close friend.

"I don't know who you are, dude. Or what you want. But we have to talk to you," He said.

"We?" Locke questioned.

"There are other people with me," Hurley answered, nodding back towards the jungle. "The thing is… you've got weapons and we've got weapons. I don't want anyone to get hurt. Or… killed. So, we're not going to do anything. And we want your word that you're not gonna do anything, either." Locke looked around at us all, then back at Hurley. He took a step forward and pulled out his knife. A part of me cringed and readied to lunge forward. He would not hurt Hurley; I wouldn't let him. He walked forward and gave it to Hurley by the grip.

"You have my word," He said. Hurley took the knife, then turned back to the jungle.

"Okay guys," He called. "You can come on out." Frank Lapidus walked out of the jungle, torch in hand. Behind him was Sun, pushing leaves aside. Jack followed her. A part of me was so excited to see them all, especially Sun, that I wanted to run forward and hug them. The other part of me was so terrified that they were all here.

"Hello, Jack," Locke greeted.

* * *

"_I'm really sorry that it's not right," Boone called over the dressing room door as I slid out of my dress._

"_It's alright," I said._

"_Well… for what it's worth, I thought you looked amazing in it," Boone said. I laughed a little under my breath. "Really. It was like it was designed with you in mind."_

"_I don't think Vera Wang had me in mind when she designed anything," I laughed, stepping back into my sundress. Once I was clothed again, I stepped outside of the room with my things in tow. Boone stood in the center of the mirrored room, holding my coat. I took it from him smiling. We started walking towards the reception area._

"_I'll get someone to do the alterations today, it'll be ready by tomorrow," He said. I nodded._

"_That's not necessary, really," I said._

"_I insist," He said. I nodded._

"_Thank you," I answered. He opened the door and I stepped outside under the awning, looking at the rain pouring down around me._

"_Can I hail you a cab?" He asked, pulling an umbrella open. I smiled and nodded. He went to the curb and hailed a cab. Once it pulled to the curb, he opened the door for me, then walked me to the door while holding the umbrella over me. I quickly climbed inside. Once I was seated, I smiled up at him, dropping my things on the seat next to me. He smiled down at me, and hesitated a moment. "Will you come back tomorrow?" He finally asked. I wanted to say yes… I wanted to be around him again. But it felt weird… was I flirting with him? Was this inappropriate? "I'd like to take you out for coffee," He said. Was he flirting with me. "I want to apologize. For the alterations not being done," He quickly said. It felt like he was trying to make an excuse to take me out. I knew I should have said no, but I couldn't stop myself._

"_Alright," I said, smiling. I reached into my purse and pulled out a pen and a torn receipt, and I wrote my phone number down quickly. "You can call me in the morning," I said as I scribbled it down. He smiled and reached for the piece of paper. When he did, our fingers touched._

_For a flash of a moment, I felt like I had fallen out of my own body. I felt pain in my body… I saw rocky surfaces, and a caved in wall. A layer of dust filled the air, and only a few streaks of sunlight pierced through the canopies of the trees overhead. I felt out of breath, heavy, and tired. But I felt a smile rise to my face as I walked towards a man who was smiling back at me. A man that was covered in dust and dirt. A handsome man with piercingly blue eyes._

_Then, everything was back. I pulled my hand away from Boone's quickly. What had just happened. I looked into his face. He had the same befuddled look on his face, and his breathing had quickened. I retreated into the cab and sat back in the seat._

"_I, uh… I have to go," I said. "Take me to Wilshire Boulevard, Tenten building," I said hurriedly. I smiled uncomfortably at Boone. He hesitantly closed the door. The car started off and I turned around in my seat, looking out the back window. Boone stood stationary at the curb in the pouring rain, watching my cab speed away. I turned forward again and let out a deep breath…_

"_You okay, Miss?" The Jamaican sounding cab driver asked._

"_Yeah, just… too much champagne," I answered, putting my hand to my head._

**EEEP. SO EXCITING!**


	98. The Last Recruit

**Here's The Last Recruit!**

"I was hoping you'd come," Locke said to Jack. He took the torch from Hurley and walked towards the tree line. "I think we have some catching up to do." I stared at Jack, waiting for him to make a move. He looked between all of us then moved to Hurley.

"Hurley. This was your idea. Are you alright with me talking with him alone?" He asked, taking off his backpack. It was weird to see Jack following someone else's orders, most of all Hurley's.

"It's all you, dude," Hurley answered, taking one more backward glance at Locke.

"Alright, let's catch up," Jack said before following Locke off into the jungle. I watched after them until they disappeared in the shadows. I was afraid for Jack, but knew it would do no good to just wait until he came back. I stepped forward to Hurley, who looked down at me and smiled.

"Hey Carmen," He said. I looked up at him with the same care as always, but I felt abandoned by him.

"Why did you leave me?" I asked quietly, referring to when he left with Jack from the temple, leaving me alone with Miles.

"Sorry," He answered softly after a while. "Jacob said I could only take Jack. He said you'd be okay." I nodded to myself.

"I guess he was right," I answered, my eyes glazing over.

* * *

_I sat on the couch with my legs balled in to my chest. The glass of wine that I had poured sat untouched on the coffee table. I stared out over the tops of my knees and was lost in thoughts… thoughts that seemed unfamiliar to me, while simultaneously feeling like they were all I had ever thought about. I was stuck on that moment with Boone. Our fingers just barely touched, and I felt like a completely different me. It made me confused and nervous. I'd never felt so unsure of myself. I reached to my neck to grab… what? Grab what? I felt as if there was supposed to be something there, but my fingers only grasped air. I folded my fingers into my palm and tightened my lips. What was happening to me? Was I having a mental breakdown?_

"_Hey," Miles said. I looked up. "You okay?" He asked. I looked around. I didn't even hear him come in._

"_Uh… yeah. Yeah," I answered slowly, letting my legs drop to the floor. I put my palms down on the cushion and shook my head._

"_So?" He asked, expecting an answer. I stared at him as he walked back into the kitchen._

"_So what?" I replied._

"_I asked you how the fitting went?" He said, annoyed that he had to repeat himself._

"_Oh… fine, yeah, fine," I said. I was surprised he even remembered._

"_Did Shannon help?" He asked, opening a beer. I froze… I thought about telling him about Boone, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Something in me wanted to protect him; to keep him to myself._

"_Yeah," I lied. "She was great."_

"_Great," Miles answered, taking his beer with him to the bathroom. I leaned forward and rested my chin in my hands, trying to decipher my hallucination._

* * *

I walked over to where Lapidus was, eating a mango.

"Hey," I smiled down at him. I didn't know Frank well, but he was a good man.

"Hey," He answered, his voice sounding gruff.

"Can we talk?" I asked slowly. He looked around and slowly stood up. I silently led him away from the group a little bit. "Okay… long story short, we're not staying with Locke," I said.

"What do you mean?" He asked. He had the air of a man who didn't accept nonsense.

"Widmore, the man who sent you here on the freighter? He's back. And he has a submarine. Sawyer made a deal with him and when the timing is right, we're getting off this island. Preferably without Locke," I explained quickly.

"Well that's good to hear," He answered, pulling the corners of his mouth shut. "That way we can still get out of here when they blow that plane."

"When who blows what plane?" I asked quietly.

"Richard, Miles and Ben are going to destroy the plane I came here on. Something about not letting Locke off the island," He said. I shook my head. Miles? The camp quieted and I looked past Lapidus to see Locke return with Jack.

"It's so nice to have everyone together again," Locke said. I nodded to Lapidus. That was all we could say for now. I wanted to know why they were going to destroy the plane, or about how Richard was, but now wasn't the time.

* * *

I sat silently with Sun and Frank, not knowing what to say now that I knew she couldn't talk. Apparently she'd hit her head and forgotten English. Suddenly, I heard a gun cock. Then more. As I stood, I reached for the gun in the back of my pants. I held my hand on it without pulling it out. A woman walked into camp with her hands in the air. I took a step in front of Sun and Frank protectively. I glanced over at Sawyer.

"Hands up. Stop right there!" One of the people from the temple ordered.

"Where's the man in charge?" She asked. Locke emerged from his tent and stepped forward.

"What can I do for you?" He asked her.

"You took something from us and we want it back," She answered quietly. I looked at Sayid and noted his anxious glance at Locke.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about," Locke answered cheerfully. The woman reached for the back of her jeans. I put my hand out to push Sun back as the people around me cocked their guns. "It's okay!" Locke yelled. The woman pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"Do you have a fix on my position?" She asked into the walkie-talkie. I heard a muddled reply. "Show them what we're capable of." A low whine sounded through the air. I heard it fizz and scream over us until a crash and explosion hit behind me. I put my hand against Sun's arm and pushed her away. Lapidus ducked his head. I quickly turned back to the woman, noticing that the air was quiet now. "You have until nightfall to return what you took. And next time, we won't miss." She threw him the walkie-talkie, which he caught. "Call me when you're ready for us to pick him up." With that, she turned and walked away. Who was this man that they found? Locke spun the walkie-talkie in his hand, dropped it to the ground, and smashed it with the stick he sharpened a day ago.

"Well," He said, "Here we go."

* * *

_I was putting away shirts in my dresser when my phone rang. I looked down at the screen to see an unfamiliar number. I picked up the phone from my bed and put it to my ear._

"_Hello?" I answered._

"_Yes, is this Carmen Jameson?" A man's voice asked. The voice was familiar. I was afraid it was him._

"_Yes," I hesitantly answered, putting a folded pair of pants down on the bed._

"_Hey, um… it's Boone," He answered, confirming my fears._

"_Hi," I answered quietly. I knew Miles was gone; I didn't know why I was whispering._

"_Hey. I um… wanted to know if you still wanted to get that coffee?" He asked slowly. I didn't know what to say, but I had decided not to meet him. It wasn't appropriate._

"_Um… about that. I just don't think it's appropriate. You know… I'm getting married," I said, knowing I didn't need to remind him. I forced a giggle out, and I heard him let out a nervous laugh._

"_No, I know, I just…" He got very quiet. After a moment, he let out a deep breath. "Carmen… did something happen to you?" He asked. I shook my head._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_In the cab yesterday… I saw the look on your face. Did you… see it too?" He asked. Something in me panicked._

"_I didn't see anything," I said loudly and defensively._

"_Carmen, please, I know something happened back there," He tried to say quickly._

"_I didn't see anything!" I repeated._

"_Yes you did!" He said back to me. It threw me off guard. I stopped and let out a deep, scared breath._

"_I need to go. I'm getting married in a few weeks. My fiancé is a policeman, so if you don't stop calling me, I'll have to report you," I said quietly and mechanically. He was trying to say something desperately and quickly, but I refused to listen. I hung up before I could change my mind. I dropped the phone and put my hands to my mouth. What was happening to me?_

* * *

"Listen up, everyone!" Locke called to us. I stood between Hurley and Sun and looked to Locke anxiously. "All this is happening… a bit sooner than I expected, but these people have forced our hand. Claiming we stole something from them, trying to provoke us into a confrontation. Well if that's what they want, that's what they'll get. Gather your things. We're going to the other island and we're getting on that plane. James, I need your help with something." I watched as Locke approached Sawyer. I shared an anxious glance with Sun. All that I had to bring with me was my gun. I kept my back against a tree as I watched people running around, getting ready. I watched Sawyer pull Jack aside and say something quickly and forcefully, then leave with Kate.

* * *

I walked behind Hurley and ahead of Sun. I was just waiting for the signal to break off and run. I knew that Sawyer was getting an opportunity to escape, and he wouldn't just leave me behind. At least, I didn't think he would. He did abandon me at the temple, though. I snapped back to reality when I saw Locke hanging back and rejoining the group right behind me, next to Sun.

"Sun, have you seen Sayid?" He asked, walking alongside her. I tried not to turn around. "He was supposed to catch up with us about half a mile back. What, the silent treatment?" I realized Locke didn't know that Sun was unable to talk. After a moment Locke let out a frustrated breath. "I'm sorry, Sun, I didn't do anything to you." Locke then hung back further and talked to someone else in our caravan of people. "James should be on his way by now, just keep everyone moving to the beach, I'll catch up with you there."

"Where are you going?" She asked. I turned around to see Locke heading back the way we came.

"I want to make sure no one got left behind," He said, heading off.

"Carmen," Jack called, "and Hurley, wait up. Frank, Sun." We walked over to Jack. "We have to go now."

"Go where?" Frank asked.

"There's no time, just follow me," Jack said, heading off quickly into the jungle.

"Um… I think we should stick to Sawyer's plan or he'll be really pissy…" Hurley started.

"This is Sawyer's plan," Jack said. I turned back, my eyes looking for Claire.

"Jack, wait, I have to get Claire," I said.

"No, Carmen, no time. We have to go," Jack said, stopping and looking back at me.

"Jack, I promised I'd bring her with me," I said.

"Don't worry… Sawyer said he'd get her out," Jack said. I wanted to trust Sawyer. If he had a plan that included Claire, I'd just have to follow it.

"Okay," I said, hurrying off with him.

"Let's go," He said to the rest of the group, and we started off.

* * *

We ran through the jungle, right next to the shore. We stopped and I worked to catch my breath. Jack pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and examined it.

"I hope you know where you're going, because that smoke things runs a whole of a hell lot faster than we do," Lapidus said, short of breath.

"Sawyer said there'd be a dock around here somewhere," Jack said, staring down at the paper.

"There they are!" Hurley called to us. We hurried out of the jungle and my feet hit wood. We'd found the dock.

"Let's go! Everybody onboard! Let's go!" Sawyer called. I pushed Sun ahead of me and we climbed aboard.

"So we're going home on this, huh?" Lapidus asked as he climbed onto the deck.

"Won't work," Sawyer answered, helping Sun up. "Not without a bearing. For three years, the only way Dharma folk ever got on or off this island was by sub, so that's what we're doing. Nice job, doc," He said to Jack as he followed us aboard.

"So how are we getting Claire?" I asked Sawyer.

"What do you mean? We ain't getting Claire," Sawyer said, getting ready to shove off. I turned quickly to Jack.

"I had to say something. I had to get you to leave," Jack said. Before I could get mad at anyone, I heard a gun cock and I turned back to the dock to see Claire standing with her rifle at the ready.

"Uh oh," Hurley said.

"Where are you going?" She asked bitterly.

"Claire," Kate said quietly, walking on to the dock with her hands up. "It's okay."

"Kate," Jack warned her quietly, but she put her hand up, dismissing him.

"We're leaving the island," She said to him. Claire pulled her head back as if it were a ridiculous idea.

"Then, uh, why aren't you waiting for John?" Claire asked.

"Because that's not John, and whoever he is, he's not one of us," Kate said. "Claire? Come with us. I can get you back to Aaron."

"Wait a damn..." Sawyer started.

"Sawyer, shut up. She's coming or I'm not," Kate snapped. Sawyer quieted. "Come with us Claire." Claire shook her head, scared.

"John promised me…"

"No, I'm promising you," Kate interrupted. "I was there when he was born, and I never should have raised him. It should have been you. I came back to get you so you could be with him again. It's the only reason I came back to the island, Claire. So please, come with us. Let's go home." Claire lowered her gun and walked forward.

"Alright, get on the boat before Locke gets here," Sawyer said, readying the boat again. I watched as Kate took the rifle out of Claire's hands, softly and sweetly.

"If he finds out we're gone," Claire said quietly to Kate, "he's gonna be mad."

* * *

_I sat on a bench in the park, looking down at my wedding ring. I held it between my fingers and contemplated putting it back on._

"_Excuse me," A man with an Australian accent said. I looked up to see a man I recognized, but I didn't know where from. "Were you on my flight? From Sydney?" He asked. Suddenly I remembered; he was the man who thought he recognized me on the plane._

"_Right… yes," I smiled._

"_I'm Desmond," He said, offering his hand for me to shake._

"_Carmen," I said, shaking it. He smiled down at me._

"_Do you mind if I sit with you?" He asked. I scooted over. A weird request, but I couldn't really object._

"_Sure," I said. He sat beside me. I realized that my ring was still in my palm, and I slid it back on to my finger._

"_So when's the big day?" Desmond asked me, noticing my ring._

"_Oh, uh… October 23__rd__," I said._

"_So soon," He answered. I looked down at the ring._

"_Yes it is," I replied. I didn't mean for it to sound snappy or rude, but I knew it came across that way. He was quiet a moment. I retreated back into my mind, realizing that when I shook his hand, nothing happened. Why did it happen when I touched Boone's hand? Was it just a random occurrence, or did he mean something?_

"_Is everything okay?" Desmond asked me. I remembered he was there and quickly forced a smile._

"_Fine," I said._

"_You looked like you were… confused," He said. I wanted to see what he thought; he was just a random stranger, it couldn't hurt, right?_

"_Have you ever… seen something? Something that wasn't there?" I asked._

"_You mean like a hallucination?" He asked._

"_No, not a hallucination," I answered quickly. "Like… have you ever had a dream that you felt sure was… more like a memory? Even though it really wasn't?" I asked. I knew I sounded crazy._

"_What if it was?" He asked. I shook my head. "What did you see?" I laughed a little._

"_Not a memory," I said. He nodded._

"_Well, pretend it was a memory. What would that mean?" He asked. I shook my head._

"_I don't know… I'd need to see it again," I eventually said. He looked closely at me._

"_Then I'd recommend you go see it again," He said. I didn't know what he meant. I couldn't see Boone again… the thought made me tense with nervousness. "It can't hurt. Maybe it'll… open your eyes," He said. With that he looked at his watch. "Oh, I gotta go," He said, standing. My gaze stayed stuck for a second as I debated over whether or not to see Boone. "It was lovely talking to you Carmen." I smiled and nodded, unable to form words. As he walked away, I decided he was right. I'd see Boone… but only one more time._

* * *

I sat in the galley eating canned beanie-weenies beside Claire. I felt compelled to speak to her… I had to.

"I tried to stay back for you," I said quietly.

"I know… I heard you try to convince Jack to get me," She answered.

"I didn't want to leave you," I said, but she only nodded. "Can I ask you something?" I asked. She turned to me and nodded. I leaned a little closer. "Do you know what Sayid took from Widmore's people?" She looked down at her can.

"No… but Locke got rid of it fast. I think it scared him," She said after a moment.

"Jack!" I heard Kate yell from the deck. I put the can down quickly and hurried up topside. She was yelling to Jack from the back of the boat with Sawyer beside her. I looked back to see Jack swimming in the waters behind us. "We have to go back and get him," She said nervously.

"We're done going back, Kate," Sawyer said.

"What happened?" I asked Sawyer.

"He wants to stay," Sawyer answered, turning away from me. I watched after Jack until he became camouflaged in with the water.

* * *

Once we had swum from the boat in to shore, I checked my gun, making sure it would still fire. Pylons had been set up; the same kind that would keep Locke out.

"Camp's over here. Not gonna have much time before…" As Sawyer was finishing his thought, people sprang out of the jungle, yelling at us to drop our weapons. I initially aimed my gun, but as I watched Sawyer lower his gun, I lowered mine. The woman that threatened Locke earlier was there.

"It's alright, we know him," She said. "Who else is with you?"

"Nobody!" Sawyer yelled. "If you're wondering where Locke is, he's still back on the main island." I heard the woman say something into her walkie-talkie, then the pylon fence power off.

"Jin?" I heard Sun ask quietly next to me. I looked up to see Jin hurrying towards us from behind Widmore's men. She moved forward and the two were caught in an embrace before I knew how to react. I felt tears rise to my eyes before I understood why.

"I love you!" I heard Sun cry. "I never stopped looking for you!"

"Looks like someone got their voice back," Lapidus smiled. A wiped a tear from my eye, happy that Jin had his wife back after all this time, and grabbed Boone's necklace that hung around my neck. They clung to each other.

"That Widmore?" Sawyer asked the woman. The woman quickly lowered her walkie-talkie and pointed her gun, and her people followed suit. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? Hands up, now!" She ordered. I raised my hands, looking nervously to Sawyer. "On your knees, all of you!" I lowered myself to my knees slowly, still watching Sawyer. A man pointed his gun threateningly at Jin and Sun as they lowered slowly.

"We had a deal!" Sawyer called out.

"Deal's off," The woman answered. She lowered her gun and talked into her walkie-talkie. "We got 'em. You got a sight line on Locke? Fire when ready." My thoughts went to Jack. What if Locke had him?

**DUNDUNDUN!**


	99. The Candidate

**Sorry guys… I just haven't been in the mood to write lately. I don't know if it's really that I'm not in the mood, or if subconsciously I just don't want to be done with the series! Anyways, here's The Candidate.**

I listened to the many explosions booming on the shores across the expanse of water from us. I let out a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed. I didn't know if Jack was safe, or if he were dead now.

"Take them to the cages," The woman with the walkie-talkie ordered. A man grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I looked back at Sawyer quietly, his eyes meeting mine with a hint of apprehension.

"Face front," The man ordered me, nudging me from behind. I looked forward again and moved quickly in silence.

* * *

We arrived somewhere all too familiar. They had led us to the bear cages where Sawyer and Kate were held when the others had taken us so long ago. They led us to Sawyer's old cage. Sawyer was in front of the group and stopped when he arrived at the door to the cage.

"Get in," The man behind him ordered. He was a short and pudgy man; not the mercenary type.

"Uh-uh," Sawyer replied, not moving, "No way I'm gettin' back in those cages."

"Well I've got the gun," The man said. Sawyer quickly turned and snatched the gun from the man's grip, aiming it at him. The man's hands went up quickly.

"Not anymore, dough boy," Sawyer snapped. A gun fired nearby, but it wasn't Sawyer's. I ducked a little instinctively, then turned to see an older man with a handgun behind Kate.

"Drop the gun!" He ordered. Sawyer did not waver. "Put the gun down or I'll kill her!" The man said, pointing the gun at Kate.

"You ain't gonna kill anybody," Sawyer replied, keeping his aim fixed on the pudgy man. "Otherwise you wouldn't be throwin' us in a cage."

"I have a list of names," The man behind Kate said. "Ford, you're on it. As are Reyes, Jameson, and the Kwons. Kate Austen? She's not. It doesn't matter to me whether she lives or dies."

"Don't listen to him," Kate ordered Sawyer quietly. I couldn't help but think back to what Sawyer said to me about my name being on the wall in the cave. Was this the list he meant? Sawyer had hesitated. He kept his gun pointed at the man in front of him, but eyed the older man. After a long pause, Sawyer closed his eyes and lowered the gun. Kate's name must not have been on the wall in the cave; otherwise, Sawyer wouldn't have believed him. He handed the gun back to the man he took it from, who slammed Sawyer in the gut with the butt of the rifle.

"Stop!" I yelled as I hurried forward to him. The man pushed Sawyer into the cage, and pointed the gun at us, threatening us into entering the cage. He locked the gate behind us with a pad lock. I moved close to Sawyer. He seemed fine, just aggravated. His escape plan had fallen through the cracks.

"You may not believe it," The older man, who I took to be Widmore, said, "but I'm doing this for your own good."

"You're right. I don't believe it," Sawyer answered, leaning against the bars of the cage. Widmore turned away from us and spoke to the man that led me to the cage.

"Is the fence live yet?" He asked.

"They're saying about an hour," He answered.

"We haven't got an hour," Widmore snapped back. "Tell them to work faster. He's coming." With that, Widmore hurried away. I knew he meant Locke. I knew we had to try to escape somehow, but what could we do? Men were guarding the cage, and we had no means to escape. We were prisoners.

* * *

I stood beside Lapidus, my arms folded across my chest. Sawyer and Kate were both pacing around the cage, as if they were being productive by doing so. Lapidus leaned with his back against the cage bars. Jin and Sun were sitting and talking quietly. I felt no need to go and interrupt them; they had been searching for each other for years now.

"Feel like we're running in circles?" Sawyer asked Kate. "Back in these cages. Except last time, the gun was to my head."

"He wouldn't have killed me, James," Kate answered, moving away from him. I was trying to not eavesdrop, but there was nothing better to do.

"That cave I told you about," Sawyer said, turning to Kate, "where all the names were written. Your name was there, too. But it was crossed out. He doesn't need you, Kate." I pondered over what that meant. Why would it be crossed out? Suddenly I heard a soft buzzing, and realized that the power was down. All the lights around us darkened. Lapidus turned to face the bars, and I leaned up against them, trying to see what was going on.

"Uh oh," Lapidus uttered quietly. Men nearby were shouting.

"Somebody killed the power," The man that brought me in said.

"Get a team to that generator now!" The pudgy man replied. They had no time, though. I heard the eerie howl of the smoke monster; of Locke. I backed away from the bars when I heard it. I could see tree branches quivering, and heard the thuds of its movements.

"And we're dead," Hurley said quietly. I watched desperately as the trees were overtaken by the dark cloud, and the men outside the cage shot at it in futility. They ran into the jungle to confront it, and as soon as the pudgy man reemerged, the cloud of smoke threw him towards us. I looked away as I heard the man's body slam into the bars and his screaming ceased. I looked ahead again to see his body laid out on the ground. Kate approached the bars and knelt down.

"I think I can reach the keys," She said, reaching her arm out through the bars.

"Hurry! When that thing's done with them, he's coming for us," Hurley said.

"Well, I ain't waitin," Lapidus said beside me. He hurried to the door. I quickly followed, trying to do what I could to get out of there before it was too late. Lapidus kicked against the door.

"This is your plan?" I shouted to him.

"You want to criticize, or do you want to help?" He yelled back, slamming his foot against the latch. I conceded. I backed up and threw a ball kick against the latch of the gate, but it held tight. A moment later, I saw Jack, holding the keys Kate was trying to get and hurrying to the door. I backed up.

"Jack?" I called. He didn't look afraid, just rushed. He got the lock off the door and pulled it open.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked quickly. The smoke monster let out a howl.

"I'm with him," Jack said.

"Come on," Sawyer said, pushing us ahead. I hurried out after Kate and Sawyer and we ran out into the jungle, abandoning the cages for good.

* * *

We walked through the jungle into the morning. Lapidus led the way, taking us to where his plane had crashed. I followed behind Kate.

"How much further to the plane?" Jack asked.

"I'd say about a quarter mile. Just over that ridge," Lapidus answered.

"So you're coming with us now?" Kate asked Jack.

"I'm gonna take you to the plane, but I'm not getting on it," Jack said. "I'm sorry, Kate, I'm… I'm not meant to go." I put my hands on my hips and caught my breath. I had hit the point of exhaustion where even sleep couldn't help; I just had to power through it.

"Thanks for coming back for us, doc," Sawyer said. "Appreciate it." The trees and leaves ahead of us rustled and moved. I pulled my gun out of the back of my jeans, where I had safely stowed it before we were escorted to the cages, and aimed. Sayid emerged from the trees and moved toward us slowly.

"It's okay," Jack called to us. "Sayid's with us. He was the one who turned off the generators."

"Great. The more, the merrier," Sawyer said, lowering his gun. I lowered mine to my side, then tucked it back into the back of my jeans.

"We need to go, Locke's waiting," Sayid said to Jack. I looked to Jack nervously. I didn't want to be with Locke again; I didn't trust him, or feel safe near him. Everyone else started forward, so I followed. I hung back with Hurley, just wanting to be home.

* * *

When we arrived at the plane, I looked it over. It didn't look like it was in such bad shape; we could probably manage to fly it home.

"Alrighty," Frank said, "Let's see what it'll take to get this baby to fly." I followed close behind Frank. I froze in my tracks, though, when I saw a dead man on the ground, lying next to his rifle.

"Son of a bitch," Sawyer said. Claire and Sayid looked him over.

"His neck's been broken," Sayid said.

"That's because I broke it," Locke said. I kept on my guard and stayed aware of the gun in the back of my jeans. "If it's any consolation, Widmore knew that I'd kill his men."

"What are you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked.

"They were only guarding the plane for show," Locke explained. "If Charles had really wanted to keep me from actually getting on board, he would have moved his little fences."

"Well, wait, now he wants us to leave the island?" Hurley asked.

"No Hugo, he wants us all to get in the same place at the same time. Nice, confined space we have no hope of getting out of, and then he wants to kill us." My breath kept catching in my throat. I felt sick.

"Kill us with what?" Sawyer asked.

"With this," Locke said, taking his backpack off his back and pulling out a handful of C4. "Four bricks of C4. I found them in one of the overhead compartments, wired to the electrical system of the plane. If we would have turned it on… boom," He explained with a crude hand gesture. I looked back at the plane nervously.

"So what now?" Jin asked.

"We can't be sure he didn't put more explosives on the plane, it's not safe. If we're gonna leave the island, I think we have to take the submarine," Locke said.

"Now that's what I've been saying all along," Sawyer said, moving forward to Locke. I didn't trust any of this at all. I didn't want Sawyer being close to Locke.

"Dude, wait," Hurley said quickly. "He's not supposed to leave the island," He said, looking at Locke, "I mean, Alpert said that…"

"Screw Alpert," Sawyer said. I trusted Richard. If Richard said something about Locke needing to stay, Locke probably had to stay. "He ain't here." With that he turned back to Locke. "That's twice you've saved our asses. Guess I was wrong about you."

"Thank you, James," Locke smiled. "That submarine is going to be heavily defended. We're gonna need everyone." With this, Locke looked to Jack.

"I'll help you, but like I said: I'm not going with you," Jack said.

"Fair enough," Locke nodded. "Let's go." With that, he turned and walked away from the plane. I looked to Hurley, wanting to ask him about what exactly Richard had said, but I knew Locke would overhear.

* * *

We knelt down together in the brush just above the dock to the submarine. I looked over the bushes to see no one there.

"There's nobody here," I said quietly.

"Just 'cause there ain't any goons on the dock doesn't mean there ain't on the sub," Sawyer said. I nodded. "We're goin in hard, got it? Lapidus, Hugo, Jin, Sun, you're with me. The rest of you wait thirty seconds, head down the dock behind us. You think you two can get our backs?" Sawyer asked, turning to Jack and Locke.

"Absolutely," Jack said, nodding.

"Alright," Sawyer said, cocking his gun, "let's go." He lunged forward, Sun, Jin, Frank and Hurley following quickly. I kept crouched and I bounced on my legs a little to keep them awake. I cocked my gun while we waited. They got to the top of the sub untouched. Sawyer opened the hatch into the sub and went down first, followed by Lapidus. Sun, Jin, and Hurley followed. After another moment, Kate nodded to us. I got up and followed behind her. Claire and Sayid got up after me and followed. We got onto the dock and I hurried forward behind Kate, rushing to the sub. She stopped and crouched behind some crates and I hurried forward, leading us to the sub hatch. I heard some loud chatter between Locke and Jack as I lowered myself down the hatch a little. I suddenly heard a loud splash. I turned to see Jack looking into the water where Locke was. He'd pushed Locke in. I started to climb up the ladder a little bit.

"What happened?" Kate asked. A gun shot ran out, and Kate collapsed.

"Kate!" Jack yelled, coming towards us. Another shot hit the sub near me. I ducked my head inside of the hatch and lost my footing on the ladder. My feet slipped off the rung and I held onto the ladder for a moment, then crashed down the hatch. I hit the bottom hard and turned my ankle. I yelled out a little.

"What happened?" Jin asked me hurriedly.

"They shot Kate," I yelled, sitting up and pushing my back against the wall in the sub. Jin was about to climb up the ladder when I heard someone start to climb down it. I heard Kate groan from the top of the ladder. I got up and put pressure on my sore ankle; it hurt, but I'd be fine. I limped over to a seat and sat down.

"What happened? You okay?" Hurley asked me.

"I'm fine, go help with Kate!" I yelled to him, pointing at the ladder.

"What's going on up there?" I heard Sawyer yell. "What happened?"

"Widmore's people shot her," I heard Jack reply. He came in with Kate. Hurley was frozen in place. "Hurley, we need a first aid kit." With that, Hurley jolted into motion.

"Who else is up there?" Sawyer asked Sayid.

"Claire," Sayid answered. Sawyer hurried toward the ladder. After a short moment, I heard the sounds of the sub starting up. Jack got up quickly.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked Sawyer.

"What we came here to do. Leaving," Sawyer answered. A loud buzzing sounded meaning we were diving, I assumed. Kate groaned, trying to sit up.

"Claire? Where's Claire?" Kate asked.

"She's still up there," Jack said, trying to lay her back down.

"No, we can't leave without her!" Kate insisted. She let out another groan as she laid back down.

"Is she gonna be okay? Sawyer asked Jack.

"Jack, I can't find a first aid kit, dude!" Hurley called as he came back into the room.

"Jin, my pack! There might be a shirt I can use in there for pressure," He explained. "It's okay. Just relax," He said, comforting Kate. I relaxed a little into my seat. No matter what had just happened, we were going home now. We just had to keep Kate alive, and we'd all be fine.

"Here," Jin said, handing the backpack to Jack. "Can you help her?"

"I think the bullet went straight through," Jack said, opening the backpack. He paused nervously.

"What?" Sawyer asked. Jack reached into his backpack and pulled out the C4 Locke had earlier, which was now wired to a wristwatch. I sat up rigidly and my breath stopped. The watch beeped with every second that passed. Each beep instilled more terror in me.

"Dude, where'd that come from?" Hurley asked.

"Locke," Jack said, shaking his head and staring at the watch face. "We did exactly what he wanted," He said, looking up at Sawyer. He shook his head quickly, looking back down at the watch. "We have to get to the surface."

"What the hell," Sawyer said, overwhelmed.

"We have to get to the surface, now!" Jack yelled. He handed the bomb to Sayid, who looked it over carefully. Jin picked up a phone.

"Lapidus, take us up. Just do it!" Jin ordered.

"Dude, how'd that get on the sub?" Hurley asked as Sayid put the bomb down carefully on the table. I stood up, forgetting about my ankle.

"Locke put it in my pack," Jack said, putting his pack under Kate's head to support her.

"Why would he do that?" Jin asked. "He wanted to come with us."

"Damn right he did. That's why I shut his ass out," Sawyer said.

"He wanted you to shut him out! Any idea how that thing works? Can we turn it off?" Jack asked Sayid.

"This watch is jerry-rigged to the battery. The battery detonates the explosives," Sayid said.

"How much time is on the watch?" I asked Sayid desperately.

"About three minutes," Sayid said. Sawyer hurriedly picked up the phone Jin had used.

"How much time till we're up Frank?" He asked. He hung up the phone quickly. "We ain't got five minutes," Sawyer mumbled to himself. "What's it gonna be Sayid?" I looked desperately to him. Was there a way to stop it?

"These wires, they're leads from the watch. If we disconnect them from the battery, technically speaking, the bomb should be inert," He explained quickly.

"Technically?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes, but you need to pull them out simultaneously, and I'm not sure…" Sayid said.

"Step aside," Sawyer said, pushing his way to the bomb.

"No, wait! Wait," Jack said, grabbing Sawyer's hand.

"What the hell are you doin', doc?" Sawyer angrily asked. I looked to Jack nervously.

"Nothing's gonna happen," He said calmly.

"What?" Sawyer asked quietly in disbelief.

"Don't pull those wires out. We're okay. Nothing's gonna happen," He said again.

"If I don't pull these wires, Locke's gonna blow us to Kingdom…"

"No he's not!" Jack yelled, interrupting Sawyer. "Locke can't kill us."

"Uh… what?" Hurley asked, confused.

"This is what he wanted, this is what he's been waiting for. Everything that he has done has been to get us here. He wanted to get us all in the same place at the same time, a nice enclosed space where we had no hopes of getting out of!" Jack explained. I looked out in front of me, understanding. Locke had tricked us into getting on the sub so he could kill us all at once.

"I don't understand," Jin said to Jack.

"Locke said that he can't leave the island without us. I think that he can't leave the island unless we're all dead," Jack said. "He told me that he could kill any one of us whenever he wanted. So what if he hasn't because he's… he's not allowed to? What if he's trying to get us to kill each other?" Jack asked, looking to Sawyer.

"Stay out of my way, doc," Sawyer warned Jack.

"Sawyer, wait," I insisted, "not allowed?" I looked to Jack.

"No, if he wanted that thing to blow up, why would he put a timer in it? Why not just throw it inside?" Jack asked.

"I don't care," Sawyer answered, the desperation evident in his voice.

"Nothing is gonna happen," Jack insisted.

"It's not your decision to make!" Sawyer yelled.

"He can't kill us!" Jack yelled.

"I'm not gonna just stand here and do nothing!" Sawyer snapped. Jack grabbed his shoulder.

"James," He said calmly, "we are going to be okay. You just have to trust me." While I was still terrified, I did trust Jack, and for reasons I can't explain. I just wanted to trust him. The beeping of the watch haunted us all as we waited for Sawyer to respond.

"Sorry, doc, I don't," He said. He quickly looked down to the watch and pulled out the wires. I drew in a sharp breath and stared at the watch, afraid to even blink. The beeping stopped. We all sat in silence, terrified. A veil of relief fell over my face, and I felt the muscles in my face relax. Quick beeping pierced through that veil and I tensed up. The watch was counting down faster now.

"No," I let out in a breath. My hands came to my mouth and I felt tears crawling into my eyes.

"Listen carefully," Sayid said to Jack. "There's a well on the main island, half a mile south from the camp we just left. Desmond's inside it," He said. I wrenched my eyes away from the watch and up to Sayid. Desmond was on the island? Why was he saying all this now? "Locke wants him dead. Which means you're going to need him, do you understand me?"

"Why are you telling me this?" Jack asked him, shaking his head.

"Because it's going to be you, Jack," Sayid grabbed the bomb and ran down the halls towards the back of the sub.

"Sayid!" I forced the scream out, and it sounded broken and desperate.

"Sayid!" Hurley called with me. I heard a quick and loud crash that rang in my ears. I was thrown from my seat and across the room, where I hit my head on the wall. I hurt severely, but I was still conscious. I could feel water shoving in at me, and it felt like people pushing and pulling at me. For some reason, I couldn't move. I realized my arm was stuck. I opened my eyes to see my elbow wedged under a pipe. As soon as I saw the pipe, I felt it's heat. I wanted to scream, it was so hot against my skin. I tried pulling at my arm, but it didn't move. I planted my other hand on the scolding pipe and pushed up, just long enough to get my elbow loose. I emerged from the water, completely soaked. I heard other people, but my eyes hurt from the salt water. I finally was able to see and I saw Jack, Sawyer and Hurley. Jack lugged Kate up out of the water, who was now unconscious.

"Where's Lapidus?" Jack yelled.

"I'll get him!" I yelled, sloshing through the water towards the front end of the sub.

"Carmen!" Jack yelled. I stopped and turned back. "Find him and get out! As fast as you can!" I nodded and kept moving forward. I heard Sawyer yelling something at me, but I ignored him. I couldn't just leave Frank. I pushed through the water, hurrying to the front end of the sub, but getting nowhere fast.

"Frank!" I screamed. "Frank!" I pushed through the water, only the sounds of rushing water and suffering metal around me. "Frank!" I yelled again. Something happened and I was thrown against the wall, banging into my now burnt arm. I screamed out in pain, my head reeling from the pain and from hitting it. I reached up with my burnt hand and felt my head. When I brought my hand back down, I saw red on my hand. I wasn't sure if it was blood from my burn or from my head, but I had no time to think about it now. "Frank!" I screamed intensely. The water was around my chest now. I had no time. "Frank!" I screamed one last time. I had to give up. I looked down at the water. The water was flowing towards me from a compartment ahead. I lowered myself fully into the water and swam towards it, knowing that would be faster than walking. I found a blown compartment where a door had been bust in. I went to the top of the water and realized it was more flooded here. I had maybe five inches from the ceiling. I gasped for a final breath, then swam through where the door had been. I looked up to see a giant hole in the side of the sub. I kicked and swam out through it hurriedly. As I emerged from it, I felt my necklace slip off my neck. I reached down for it and grabbed it in my hand. I held it tight as I swam up. I couldn't see the surface. This was it. I knew I'd have to take a breath soon, but all that would fill my lungs would be water. I swam as fast as I could, on the verge of giving up. I then saw a reflection of light. I swam faster. I was so close, I couldn't give up yet. I kicked and kicked and finally felt air around my arm. I opened my mouth and gasped for air as I reached the surface. I stopped kicking for a moment, but remembered to keep flailing in the water. I bobbed in the water, keeping my breath. Silence surrounded me. When I had finally caught my breath a little, I gathered the energy to scream. "Sawyer!" I screamed. I heard no answer. "Sawyer!" I said quietly to myself. I clutched my necklace tightly in my hand. I kicked for a moment and tried to float on my back to give myself a break. It didn't work. In the dark of the night, I could vaguely see the outline of the main island. I swam towards it as fast I could, pulling away from a current.

* * *

As I reached solid ground, I wanted to collapse. I walked away from the tide, telling myself that as soon as I stopped walking in water, I could sit. Finally the sand felt squishy and untouched by water beneath my feet and I dropped to my knees, then fell completely. I was alive. I looked around me on the beach.

"Sawyer?" I called out. "Jack?" I tried to catch my breath. Was I the only one?

**Only a couple episodes left! :( but also :)**


	100. What They Died For

**Here's What They Died For! We're so close to the end!**

I laid on the shore, still panting for breath.

"Anybody!" I screamed desperately, my eyes closed. I was alone. No one else must have survived. I felt a tear roll off the side of my face. "Anybody," I cried quietly. No one came. I laid there silently, hoping to fall asleep. My elbow hurt a lot from the burn, as did my hand.

"It'll be okay," I heard a voice beside me. I turned my head to see Boone looking back at me. I stared in disbelief, then remembered my head injury. "You're okay." I began to cry more.

"You're not here," I sobbed out quietly. "You're not really here."

"No," He said, lying beside me. "But trust me… you're alright." I closed my eyes and faced the sky, feeling like my tears were clogging my throat. I felt his hand on mine. I knew he wasn't there, though. I must have had a concussion. "Just go to sleep. You'll be better in the morning." I nodded. I thought I remembered something about vomiting in your sleep when you had concussions, so I turned on my side to face him. I was leaning on my burnt elbow, but after the initial movement, putting pressure on it didn't hurt as much. I faced him and he faced me, and he held my hand that wasn't burnt.

"Don't leave me," I whispered as I closed my eyes.

"I'll never leave you again," He replied. I fell asleep, feeling his breath against my wet skin.

* * *

When I woke up, I was alone. I lifted my head a little. It was throbbing. My eyes strained to open in the bright sunlight. I raised my hand to my head. My hair felt kind of crusty. I couldn't tell if there was blood on my head or not, but I knew it was bleeding anymore, at least. I looked at my palm and my elbow. Both were burnt, but not too bad. I had to keep up and moving; that's the only way I'd know if I were getting sick. I walked out to the water and rinsed my head and arms, hoping the salt water would disinfect them a little. I looked out across the waves, knowing I was alone. I started crying again when it hit me that Sawyer was dead. I saw images of his body floating in the water in my mind and nearly fell backwards in shock and pain. I wiped my eyes, salt water getting in them. I walked away from the water's edge, remembering the gun in the back of my jeans. I headed towards the jungle, deciding to make my way for the well that Sayid talked about before he ran off with the bomb. I had to find Desmond; there was nothing else I could think to do. I just wanted to be around someone I knew again.

* * *

"_Where you going today?" Miles asked me. I looked up quickly from my yogurt and saw him eating an apple._

"_Back to Carlyle's. They had to do some, uh… alterations," I said._

"_Got it," He said. He threw away his apple core and picked up a bag with his suit in it. "you'll be at the concert tonight, right?" I had to think a moment, then I remembered it._

"_Oh, right. Yeah, of course," I said, smiling._

"_Great. Hey, wear that red dress, I love that one," He said. He picked up his things._

"_Okay," I answered slowly, lost in thoughts about Boone. Miles kissed my forehead, and I smiled up at him. I got up hurriedly and moved to the bedroom, going to get dressed. I decided that I would see Boone one last time, just to figure out what happened when we touched by the cab. After that, I'd never see him again._

* * *

I hurried through the jungle, moving as fast as I could. I only vaguely knew how to get back to our old camp; I barely knew where I was. I heard some other kind of movement ahead of me. I pulled the gun out from the back of my jeans and moved forward slowly and quietly, crouched over. I heard men's voices, but I couldn't quite distinguish what they were saying. I moved closer and got behind a tree. I saw the figure of a man. There was no time to waste; if I was going to get to Desmond, I had to confront them now. I jumped out from behind the tree into their path.

"Don't move!" I began to yell, but my tone faded as I saw them. Jack turned to face me and Sawyer's face was filled with surprised desperation. I lowered my gun and I felt tears coming to my eyes. I tried to look at Jack, but I could only focus on Sawyer. "I… I thought I was the only one," I said, moving forward a little and beginning to cry. Sawyer pushed past Jack and I hurried to him, throwing my arms around him, letting out a few sobs. "I thought I was alone," I cried into his shoulder. I let go of Sawyer and he looked down at me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked, seeing my elbow.

"I burnt myself on a pipe on the sub," I said. "I'm fine." I looked to Jack, who was looking at the back of my head.

"You hit your head pretty bad, too," Jack said. "Have any symptoms of a concussion?" I remembered Boone last night and let out a disappointed breath.

"Yeah… a raging headache and some hallucinations," I said.

"Hallucinations?" He asked.

"Carmen?" I heard Kate. She came up behind Sawyer slowly. She looked exhausted.

"Kate," I answered.

"Where did you come from?" She asked.

"The beach… I got caught in the current, but I eventually made it to shore. I was heading for the well," I explained. I looked behind her. "Are you guys… is this it?" I asked, wondering if anybody else made it. They were quiet. "Jin and Sun?" I asked. Kate and Jack looked away, and Sawyer looked down at my feet. Tears made their way back out of my eyes. "Hurley?" I asked desperately. Jack looked up abruptly.

"Where is Hurley?" He asked Kate. Kate turned around.

"He was… right behind me," She said. We turned back and looked for Hurley for a little while, but we couldn't find him.

"Let's just stay here," Jack said. "It's getting dark. Hurley will come back here eventually, there's no point in running around when Kate's still healing and Carmen has a concussion."

* * *

Hurley did come back. When he did, it was getting dark and we had lit a small fire and gotten cozy around it.

"Where the hell were you, Hugo?" Sawyer asked, more concerned than angry.

"Carmen," He said, pausing a little in disbelief. Jack gave him a look. "Um… we need to go talk to Jacob," He said hesitantly.

"He's here?" Jack asked.

"No… he's back there," Hurley said, looking in the direction he came from. "But we gotta hurry."

"Why?" I asked. He quieted.

"I don't know," He said slowly. I looked to Jack and after a long moment, he stood, grabbing one of the flaming sticks from the fire.

"Let's go," He said, looking down at us. Sawyer got a torch as well and we followed Hurley through the dark trees. After a while I saw the flickering light of a fire. I followed behind Sawyer, and he abruptly stopped. I looked past him to see a blond man standing by the fire. I recognized him, but I wasn't sure where from.

"Hello, Kate. James. Carmen. Jack," He said, nodding to us each.

"He's right there by the fire, he says hello," Hurley tried to explain.

"I heard him," Jack said.

"What, you can see him?" Hurley asked.

"Yeah," I answered, glancing quickly at Hurley, then returning my gaze to Jacob.

"Kate? Sawyer, you too?" Hurley asked nervously.

"So you're the one who wrote our names on the wall?" Kate asked.

"I am," He answered.

"Sun and Jin Kwon? And Sayid Jarrah, you wrote their names on the wall?" Kate asked, approaching Jacob.

"Yes," He answered with a nod.

"Is that why they're dead?" Kate asked, almost sounding like she didn't want to know the answer.

"I'm very sorry," Jacob answered. Kate let out an exasperated breath.

"You're sorry," She repeated.

"Kate," Hurley warned.

"No, I wanna know why! I wanna know that Sun and Jin and Sayid didn't die for nothing!" She yelled. I watched Jacob intently. He looked between us all, then turned and walked to a log beside the fire.

"Come and sit down and I'll tell you what they died for," He said. "I'll tell you why I chose them, and why I chose you. And then I'll tell you everything you need to know about protecting this island because by the time that fire burns out, one of you is gonna have to start doing it." We all stared back at him for a moment. I looked between Hurley and Sawyer, then moved forward. I sat down on a log in front of Jacob, with nothing but the fire between us.

"Go on, then," I said.

* * *

_I sat quietly in the back seat of the cab, waiting for it to get to Carlyle's. I was wearing a red sundress; I figured that made it easier to change into my formal dress for the concert when I got back home. I wore a white shrug around my shoulders and white heels. I reached into my purse and grabbed my cell phone. I dialed through the contacts until I got to Shannon's number. I hit the call button and put the phone to my ear._

"_Hey," She answered, sounding chipper. "How was the…"_

"_Hey, listen," I interrupted her._

"_Uh, ok," She replied._

"_Have I ever met your brother before? Boone?" I asked._

"_I don't think so. Why?" She asked._

"_I just, um… I thought I remembered seeing him before. He didn't take us hiking or something when we were younger, right?" I asked, remembering the image I saw._

"_Hiking? No. No one has ever taken me hiking," She answered. I nodded._

"_Right," I replied._

"_What's wrong? Did he say something to you?" She asked._

"_No, no, nothing's wrong, I'm just… kind of stumped," I answered. We were pulling up to the curb at Carlyle's. "Listen, I gotta go. Call you later," I said. I closed the phone as she was about to reply, and got cash out of my wallet to pay the driver._

* * *

We all sat across from Jacob in silence.

"I don't really know where to start," He said, looking into the fire.

"How about why you brought us to the island?" Hurley asked him. I looked back to Jacob.

"I brought all of you here because I made a mistake," He explained, looking around at us all. "A mistake I made a very long time ago and now, because of that, there's a very good chance that every single one of you and everyone you've ever cared about is going to die."

"What mistake?" Sawyer asked quickly.

"You call him the monster," Jacob answered. I leaned my head back, understanding a little bit more, but still confused. "And I'm responsible for what happened to him. I made him that way. And ever since then, he's been trying to kill me. It was only a matter of time before he figured out how and when he did, someone would have to replace me. And that's why I brought you all here," He said.

"Tell me something, Jacob," Sawyer started, "Why do I gotta be punished for your mistake? What made you think you can mess with my life? I was doing just fine till you dragged my ass to this damn rock…"

"No you weren't," Jacob said, standing. "None of you were. I didn't pluck any of you out of a happy existence. You were all flawed. I chose you because you were like me. You were all alone. You were all looking for something that you couldn't find out there." I thought of Morgan and my desperate search for her. She was all I had; the thought of her was all that I had to go on before the crash. "I chose you because you needed this place as much as it needed you."

"Why did you cross my name off of your wall?" Kate asked him, sounding hurt.

"Because you became a mother," Jacob answered. "It's just a line of chalk in a cave. The job is yours if you want it, Kate."

"What is the job?" Jack asked. I looked back up at Jacob, curious.

"There's a light at the center of the island. You have to make sure it never goes out, that's how you protect it," He said.

"Your monster friend said there's nothing to protect it from," Sawyer interrupted.

"You have to protect it from him," Jacob replied. "You must do what I couldn't. I wasn't able to do it."

"You want us to kill him," Jack said. Jacob looked back at him, confirming his statement. "Is that even possible?"

"I hope so, because he is certainly gonna try to kill you," Jacob said to him.

"So… how are you gonna pick?" Hurley asked.

"I'm not going to pick, Hugo," Jacob answered. "I want you to have the one thing that I was never given. A choice." I considered volunteering. Someone needed to do this job, right? And Jacob was right: aside from Sawyer, I had nothing in this world. Morgan would be too old for me to try to be her mother again, and I was sure Josh had moved on; I knew I had. There was no reason for me to leave this island. I came into adulthood on this island.

"And if none of us chooses it?" Kate asked.

"Then this ends very badly," Jacob said. I had quickly decided that if no one else volunteered, I would do it. But if I was so quick to take that ultimatum on, shouldn't I just volunteer? I looked to Sawyer. He looked back at me and shook his head softly, as if he were making the final decision for me. I looked down at my feet. I'm sorry, Sawyer… this one's not up to you. I looked up and just as I was about to open my mouth, Jack spoke.

"I'll do it," He said. I looked to him quickly. He stood and I bolted up as well.

"Jack, are you… are you sure?" I asked quietly. He nodded to me.

"This is why I'm here," He said to me. He then turned to Jacob. "This is… this is what I'm supposed to do." He spoke with a lot of forced confidence, but I could feel his underlying anxieties.

"Is that a question, Jack?" Jacob asked.

"No," He answered calmly.

"Good," Jacob replied softly. "Then it's time."

Jack and Jacob walked away towards a creek. The rest of us followed shortly behind.

"You want to stay?" Sawyer asked as I told him I was going to volunteer.

"No… I just… I knew someone had to stay. If no one else was going to volunteer… I would have," I said.

"Well thank God Jack did, then," He said. We all stopped and watched as Jack and Jacob performed their ritual. "I thought that guy had a God-complex before."

"James," Kate said, beckoning for him to stop.

"Yeah, I know," Sawyer said softly in return.

"I'm just glad it's not me," Hurley said.

* * *

_I let out a deep breath and walked into Carlyle's. The woman at the front desk greeted me._

"_Welcome to Carlyle's. Do you have an appointment?" She asked me._

"_No, I… I'm not here to try on dresses today. I was hoping I could speak with Boone Carlyle?" I asked her._

"_Hi," I heard from the left side of the desk. I turned to see Boone in dark jeans and a blazer._

"_Hi," I said in return. I hesitated a moment. "Can we talk?" He smiled a little and nodded._

"_Yeah. Let's go to my office," He said, gesturing for me to follow him. I followed him down a side hallway into a nicely furnished room with a thick desk at the end of it. It had overdone portraits of brides in it as well as large books filled with designer gowns. "Please, have a seat," He said, gesturing to a couple of arm chairs in a corner of the room._

"_Thank you," I said, sitting and placing my purse on the coffee table in front of us. He sat in the chair beside mine and we were silent for a moment. "I um… I'm really sorry for how I acted on the phone the other day…"_

"_Don't be. I shouldn't have called, and I shouldn't have acted that way. I'm sorry," He apologized, maintaining his professionalism._

"_It's fine," I said after a pause._

"_Can I ask you something though?" He asked._

"_Sure," I smiled._

"_Did you? See anything?" He asked. My smile faded a little. My instinct was to say no, but I wanted to be honest with him. I reminded myself that this is why I came._

"_Yes," I said quietly. With that reply, his professionalism and smile faded and he fell back into his chair._

"_Well," He said, urgently sitting back up, "What did you see?" I hesitated. I didn't know if I should tell him. "Was it… did you see a cave?" He asked. I leaned back a little. He saw what I saw. He saw the same thing that I saw. "You did, didn't you?" He smiled a little in knowing the truth. "I saw caves, and you were hurt and I was so happy, and… and relieved to see you, and I just wanted to hold you," He said quickly and excitedly. I was overcome with apprehension. This was too weird. "What did you see?" He asked._

"_I saw…" I hesitated. This was wrong. I shouldn't have come here. I needed to go. "I saw…" Go. Now. My instincts told me to leave this place. I shook my head and I felt tears coming to my eyes. I reached out for my purse. "I'm sorry," I said, trying to suppress my tears as I stood._

"_No. No, no, no, wait! Please don't go!" He said, putting his hands out in front of him and blocking my way. "Please, Carmen, what did you see?"_

"_It doesn't matter what I saw, it's not real!" I said to him calmly, trying to move past him._

"_Please, don't leave! Carmen, wait!" Boone yelled. He grabbed for me and caught hold of my arm as I started to yell back at him._

_I saw Jim in a fight with a middle eastern man, but he wasn't Jim. The name Sawyer electrocuted through my mind, and I looked down at the hand holding my arm to see Boone clutching me._

"_Carmen, wait!" He yelled at me, holding me back from the fight. I resisted him but couldn't break free. I heard more voices, men and women, asking me questions, yelling for help, I couldn't decipher them all._

"_Do you believe it?" "I'm not sure if you should…" "Where are we?"_

_Suddenly I was back in his office and I had broken free from his grip. I looked down at my arm and felt a radiating heat from my elbow. It felt burnt. I looked up at Boone. He looked shocked._

"_Did you feel that?" He asked. I was terrified. Something was wrong, I needed to go._

"_Let me go," I demanded, on the brink of tears._

"_Wait," He asked as I pushed past him._

"_Let me go!" I yelled, a tear rolling down my cheek. He grabbed my arm and I turned to hit him. My palms landed on his chest._

_Another flash overtook me. It was night and I was in the caves. My hands lay on Boone's chest. He was bloodied and mangled. My fingers rested on a silver chain necklace of his._

"_I'm a mother," I heard myself say. "Her name is Morgan."_

"_I'm sure she's beautiful," He struggled to say. His eyes rolled back in his head as I clutched his hand and he died. In a quick moment, it all made sense to me. Where I was, what had happened, and how it happened. I snapped back to reality and pulled away from Boone. My mouth hung open as the realization of it all hit me. I was already dead. I brought my hands to my mouth to try to stifle my cries. I went weak in my knees and ankles and they collapsed in. I brought my hands to the floor in front of me._

"_Carmen!" I heard Boone's voice. It cracked a little. I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face. I shook my head._

"_You left me," I finally worked up the strength to say. "You…" I fell back onto my legs and sat up, looking at him. He brought his hands to my face and placed them on my cheeks. He wiped my tears with his thumbs and I leaned against his hand. He was crying a little himself._

"_I love you," He said finally, slowly and carefully. I smiled a little and threw my arms around his neck. He pulled me in close to him, one hand on my lower back._

"_I have always loved you," I said back through my tears. I held him tightly to me, afraid he might disappear if I didn't. I looked up to the sky outside Boone's office window and inwardly thanked God for returning him to me. He pulled back from me and brushed the hair away from my face._

"_I'll never leave you again."_

**As I only have one more episode to write, people that are fans of my writings: please look at my profile and see what you'd like me to write for next. I'm undecided between the Final Fantasy games, Lord of the Rings, The Hunger Games, X-Men- really, just all of them! Comment and help me figure out what to start next!**


	101. The End

**Wow. This is it. 101 chapters. 6 years. What a run. Before this story ends, I want to thank all of you for following my story. I hope you'll keep following me on whatever story comes next, which I hope you all help me decide on as well. It's interesting that I end this story as I'm about to start a new chapter of my life in England- it may mean it will be a little while before I write again. Thank you for all of your support these past years. Alright, enough out of me- here you are. The End.**

"Jacob told me that we have to go to the bamboo forest out past our old camp. Just past him, he said I'd find the place I'm supposed to protect," Jack explained to us. I stood between Hurley and Sawyer, my arms folded over my chest.

"This place," Kate said, sitting up, "What is it?"

"He called it 'the heart of the island,'" Jack answered. "All he said was that it's… it's a light."

"And that Locke-smoke-thing wants to put it out?" Hurley clarified.

"Something like that, yeah," Jack said, nodding.

"So what if he does?" Hurley asked. Jack shook his head.

"Then that's it for all of us," Jack replied.

"But… but if Locke wants to put it out, then why hasn't he?" Kate asked.

"'Cause he ain't got what he needs," Sawyer answered. "I'm guessin' that'd be Desmond. That's where we were headed before your inauguration. Sayid said Locke tossed him in a well."

"Jacob didn't say anything to me about Desmond," Jack said.

"Doesn't sound like he said anything about anything," Sawyer retorted.

"That's kinda true, dude, he's worse than Yoda," Hurley said. His answer got a little bit of a rise out of me, and I almost smiled.

"Well, if he needs Desmond, you probably do, too," I said, looking to Jack.

"Alright," Sawyer said, grabbing his pack, "Ya'll head to your 'heart of the island', and I'll go get that magic leprechaun out of the well."

"I'll come with," I nodded to Sawyer. He nodded back to me.

"If we leave a trail, can you catch up with us?" Jack asked.

"Hell yeah, I can," Sawyer answered.

"Then be safe," Jack said. Sawyer looked down at Kate as we started to pass her.

"I'd ask you along, but that'd take all the fun out of me telling you you can't come," He said.

"I guess I'll just have to resist the urge to follow you anyway," Kate said over her shoulder. With that, we hurried away towards the well Sayid spoke of.

* * *

When we finally got to the well, we stopped and looked ahead to see Locke there already, looking into the well. We snuck closer to get a good look at him. We ducked behind a bush.

"What's he doing?" I whispered quietly.

"I don't know," He answered me quietly. We peeked through the brush and watched, hoping something would happen. Locke began coiling some rope around his arm. A rifle cocked behind us and I turned quickly. Ben had us trapped there in the brush.

"As long as you're watching, why don't you join us?" Ben asked. Sawyer and I stood and marched towards Locke. I turned over my shoulder to see Ben pointing the gun at us.

"So what, you're Locke's lackey now?" I asked. He was silent. We marched forward quietly.

"What are you doing here, James? Carmen?" He asked, nodding politely. He looked almost amused to see us.

"Heard Desmond fell in a well," Sawyer answered. "So I came to help him get out." I hurried forward to the edge of the well and looked in. It was empty. "Looks like somebody beat us both to the punch. Oh well."

"Do you know why I'm here?" Locke asked Sawyer.

"I'm guessing you need Desmond to destroy the island," Sawyer said. Locke nodded.

"That's absolutely right," He replied.

"Then what, Smokey? You goin' down with the ship?" Sawyer asked. "Suicide doesn't seem like your style."

"I'm not going down with anything. But you," He said, looking between us, "and the rest of Jacob's little candidates absolutely are." Sawyer chuckled beside me.

"We're not candidates anymore," Sawyer shrugged. Sawyer elbowed Ben in the face quickly, who responded by dropping the rifle into Sawyer's hands. He pointed the rifle down at Ben and I pulled out my gun which was in the back of my jeans, deciding to point it also at Ben… bullets couldn't harm Locke. Sawyer backed away and picked up his pack. I followed slowly and kept my eyes on Ben and Locke. "I'll be seeing you," Sawyer said. With that we ran off into the jungle.

"What the hell was that?" I yelled at him as we ran through the jungle, hoping he wouldn't follow.

"Improvising! Hurry up, we gotta get back to Jack," He yelled. I shut up and ran.

* * *

_I sat on the couch with Boone and leaned against him._

"_How did it happen for you?" He asked me after a while. I leaned against his chest._

"_Old age. I got pneumonia… couldn't quite fight it off," I said. I looked up at him and smiled. "I was ready." He rubbed my arm. A knock came at the door and the receptionist stepped in._

"_I'm sorry, Mr. Carlyle? There's a man here to see you named Desmond Hume," She said, waiting for permission to let him in. I sat up and turned to Boone, nodding._

"_Uh, let him in," He said. The woman left and Desmond came in. I stood up quickly and hurried over to him as he closed the door._

"_Des," I said smiling. He smiled back down at me. I put my arms around him and hugged him._

"_So… you know, then," He smiled down at me. I nodded and looked back at Boone._

"_Yeah… yeah, we know," I said._

"_Well… great. Hurley sent me… How'd you like to get your sister back?" He looked past me to Boone. He shrugged._

"_Sure. I'm guessing it also involves Sayid?" He asked._

"_And you getting her back from Sydney," Desmond said. "Get her here by tomorrow night." I nodded._

"_We can do that," I said. Boone pulled the phone out of his pocket and began dialing._

* * *

We ran through the trees and eventually came into a clearing where Jack, Kate and Hurley were walking.

"Whoa!" Hurley yelled as we burst out of the foliage. Sawyer put up a calming hand.

"Easy, Big Foot, it's just me," Sawyer said. "We found Locke. Son of a Bitch said he's gonna destroy the island. You had it right, doc. Good news is Desmond got out of that well, so if we can find him before Smokey can…"

"Doesn't matter if we find Desmond or he does, James. We're all going to the same place, anyway," Jack said.

"We're just gonna let Locke find him?" I asked, worried for Desmond's safety. I knew he wouldn't hurt Desmond too much, but he had a wife now. He had to be kept safe. Jack answered my question with a glance. Yes, we were just going to let Locke find him.

"Then what?" Sawyer asked. I was still trying to catch my breath.

"Then it ends," Jack said. He continued forward. I started forward again, glad to be walking instead of running there.

* * *

As we started over a ridge, I found myself freezing in my footsteps. We were confronted by Locke, Ben… and Desmond.

"Well this is gonna be interesting," Locke started to say, but I heard Sawyer call out. Kate had taken his gun and aimed at Locke. Ben and Desmond dropped as she fired the rifle, but Locke didn't waver in his approach.

"Kate!" Sawyer called, trying to get her to stop.

"You killed them!" She screamed, moving down the ridge towards Locke. I moved forward to Sawyer as he tried to get the gun from her.

"Kate! That's it," Sawyer said, pulling the rifle out of her hands. Locke passed us all by.

"You might wanna save your bullets," Locke said to Kate patronizingly. He continued forward to Jack. I hurried down the hill to Desmond, who was standing again. He was using a walking stick and limping.

"Are you okay?" I asked him nervously. He smiled down at me.

"I'm fine," He answered. Hearing his voice again was weird… his thick accent rang in my ears. He looked down at me sweetly.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, looking him over and feeling his head for a lump. Maybe he had a concussion.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong," He smiled. He put his hand to my chest and touched my necklace. "You still have it," He said quietly. I looked down at Boone's necklace and held it in my hand.

"Of course," I answered, wondering why he'd think I'd lose it.

"Alright then," Locke called out to us all, looking around at us. "Shall we?" He asked us, leading the way. I stayed close to Hurley and Desmond. I looked overhead to see rain clouds forming. We walked together a long way. I was quiet next to Desmond; it had been so long since I'd seen him that I didn't know what to say.

"Kate told me you're married to Penny," I said quietly.

"Yeah," He answered. "And we have a son," He said. I hesitated and looked up at him.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah… beautiful little boy. Named him Charlie," Desmond said. I stopped and felt tears coming to my eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you…"

"No, no you didn't… upset me," I smiled, wiping my eyes. "That's great. Then… why are you here?" I asked.

"Widmore brought me," He answered. I nodded.

"Jack, Desmond," Locke called out, "It should just be the three of us from here on." Desmond began to move forward, but I placed my hand on his arm.

"You don't have to go," I coaxed him. "You have a family." He smiled.

"I do have to go," He answered. He pulled away from me and left with Jack and Locke. I stepped forward next to Hurley.

"Jack," Hurley said. Jack turned around. "I believe in you, dude."

"Be careful," I said to Jack. He nodded at us both and followed after Desmond and Locke.

* * *

_The music in the biker bar was loud and obnoxious. Metal music that just sounded like noise pounded around us. I looked closely at Boone._

"_You ready?" I asked him. He took another shot of whiskey, then nodded to me._

"_Yeah… ready as I'm gonna be," He said. I grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, trying to show my support. He got up and walked over to a burly man by a pool table. I couldn't hear what he said, but the man did not seem happy. He pushed Boone, and grabbed him by the collar, dragging him out the front door._

"_That's my cue," I said, finishing my cocktail. I hurried over to Shannon, who was chatting up a frat boy. "Shannon, help! Your brother just pissed off some biker, he's out in the alley!" She hurried out with me and I stood back as she ran forward to the man._

"_Hey! Leave my brother alone!" Shannon yelled. The man threw her into the wall and she landed in a bunch of trash bags. I was about to go forward and help when I heard a car door slam, and Sayid was hurrying towards us. He incapacitated the man, and then knelt to help Shannon. I hurried over to Boone. He was alright, though a little roughed up. I looked over at Shannon and Sayid, who had the same looks of confusion and wonder as I did with Boone. I stood and helped Boone stand. I looked to the car Sayid had come from to see Hurley give a little wave. I hurried with Boone to the car door and leaned against the open window._

"_Hurley," I smiled. He smiled back down at me._

"_Hey, Carmen," He replied._

"_I just got pounded, man," Boone complained through the passenger window. "Thanks for taking your sweet time." Hurley shrugged._

"_Takes as long as it takes," He said, trying to stifle a laugh._

"_It was a pain in the ass getting her here from Australia," He said._

"_Yeah, but dude? It was worth it," Hurley said. I smiled across the car at him, and he returned the favor._

"_Should I go get them?" He asked Hurley after a second. I turned to see Sayid and Shannon making out. I smiled and laughed a little._

"_Nah, let's give them a minute," He said. I smiled at Boone and realized: for all the love I had for him, we had never once kissed. How perfectly strange._

* * *

I paced the ground where Jack had left us, my burnt hand clutching my burnt elbow.

"Linus? Are you there?" I heard a voice in a walkie-talkie.

"Is that Miles?" I asked, recognizing the voice. Ben frantically picked up his walkie-talkie.

"What the hell's that?" Sawyer asked, turning around.

"Miles, where are you?" Ben asked.

"We just got to Hydra Island… we're on our way to the plane," He said, breathless.

"Miles, listen to me, whatever you do, don't blow up that plane!" Ben desperately pleaded.

"We're not gonna blow it up, we're gonna fly it the hell off the island, just get over here now!" Miles demanded.

"How are they gonna fly it?" Hurley asked.

"Miles, how do you intend to fly the plane?" Ben asked through the walkie. I heard a gruff voice on the other end, then I faintly heard Miles' voice call to Claire.

"Miles, it's Kate… did you say 'Claire?'" She asked. "Is she okay?"

"Put the gun down," I heard Miles on the other end, then a gun shot. And another.

"Miles!" Kate yelled into the walkie. "Miles, what happened? Miles, are you there?" I waited for an answer with one hand on my mouth, afraid he might not respond.

"Yeah," Miles answered after a long pause. "It's fine, we're fine. Look, Lapidus is here, we're gonna fix the plane and fly it home, just get here!" He yelled.

"Lapidus!" I called. "He's okay? Lapidus is okay?" I asked.

"Apparently… we can't waste the battery anymore," Ben said, turning the volume down. I leaned back on a tree. After I nearly died for him… he was fine. Figured…

* * *

The skies had turned dark very quickly. Suddenly, the ground started shaking. I tried to keep my balance, but I couldn't. I fell down from the tree I was leaning against and landed on my side. I tried to cover my head and gather my bearings.

"Hugo, get out of the way!" I heard Ben yell. When I turned, I saw a tree had come down and pinned Ben. I got onto my feet finally and tried to maintain some stability.

"Ben!" I yelled. The earthquake began to subside. He was pinned really well… it would be difficult to get him out.

"We're gonna get you out of here, alright?" Kate comforted Ben. I moved to the trunk of the tree with Hurley and Sawyer and started to tug at it, barely making it move.

"It's too damn heavy, there's no way we're getting' it off him!" Sawyer yelled.

"We have to try!" Hurley called out.

"One! Two! Three!" Kate yelled. I strained so hard on three, but it barely moved before another earthquake hit. I fell backwards and slid onto my back. The rain was only making conditions worse. When the quake stopped, I stood again.

"What is happening?" Kate asked, panicked.

"I'll tell you what's happening! Locke was right! This island's going down! Sawyer yelled, trying to move the tree.

"Linus, come in!" I heard Miles' voice on the walkie.

"Kate, get his walkie! Sawyer, we need to try to make a lever out of some sticks or something!" I yelled out. He moved away and I searched in the newly broken branches for something sturdy enough to lift the tree trunk.

"Come with you where?" I heard Kate yell into the walkie as I grabbed a thick branch from the ground. A moment later, I was shaken down again. I fell to my knees and clung to the ground for support. When the quake stopped, I hurried to the tree trunk. I pried my branch under the trunk.

"Get your asses over here, we're leaving in an hour!" I heard Miles through the walkie.

"Son of a bitch! How the hell are we supposed to get over there?" Sawyer asked.

"I know how we can get there!" Ben yelled. I tried forcing the trunk up with my lever. "Locke has a boat!" Sawyer paused.

"Where?" He called out.

"Near Jacob's cave! The one Locke took you to!" Locke yelled to Sawyer. He turned to Kate.

"Kate, run out to the cliffs by the old caves… it's about a mile or two that way!" Sawyer yelled to her, pointing to his right. "Make sure that boat's still there! We'll meet you when we get him out!" He yelled. I nodded to her. She grabbed the rifle and ran off.

"Hurley, you lift the back!" I called to him. "Ready?! One! Two! Three!"

* * *

After another couple of earthquakes, we finally got Ben loose. He was only a little sore. We hurried off after Sawyer, moving as fast as we could with a sore Ben and Hurley. When we finally got to the cliffs, Kate was sitting with Jack.

"Hey!" Sawyer called.

"What happened?" I yelled to them.

"Oh my God," Hurley said, realizing Jack was hurt. I knelt down beside Jack and saw it was a skinny knife wound he had in his side.

"What the hell happened?" Sawyer asked.

"Locke's dead," Kate said, nodding towards the cliffs. Part of me was so afraid for Jack that he had taken Locke on alone, but the other part of me was so grateful that I didn't have to fight him. "It's over," Kate whispered. Just then, another earthquake hit. I fell backwards and pressed my feet and hands against the rock to stay put.

"It sure don't feel like it's over," Sawyer said.

"Where's Desmond?" I asked Jack.

"He went down into the heart of the island," Jack said. I shook my head. As I was about to ask what that meant, another earthquake hit.

"Lapidus!" Ben called into the walkie after the quake.

"Yeah?" I heard back.

"Frank, how's it going over there? What's your timetable?" Ben asked.

"Don't bother me!" I heard back.

"Sounds like they're making progress," Ben replied. Another quake hit.

"We gotta go now!" Sawyer called as it ended. I agreed. If we were gonna leave this island, we had to get to the other island now and get on that plane.

"I don't understand," Kate said, exasperated, "Locke's dead. Why is this still happening?"

"Because whatever Desmond turned off, I need to turn it back on again," Jack said, holding his wound. "But if it doesn't work, if I don't get it done, you all need to leave now, you need to be on that plane."

"You can come with us, too, Jack," Kate said, standing. "You don't have to do this."

"No I do have to…"

"No, you don't! Let the island sink, Jack…"

"Kate. I can't," Jack replied, shaking his head. Kate stood and walked away, defeated. I stood also, preparing to leave. I didn't want to leave Jack, but I knew it's what had to be done.

"You think you can get that boat across the channel in time?" Jack asked Sawyer.

"Yeah, I can manage," Sawyer nodded. Jack stood, grunting in pain. He shook Sawyer's hand.

"Good luck to you, James," Jack said.

"Thanks, doc. For everything," Sawyer answered. Jack smiled pleasantly at him, then turned to me. I didn't know what to say. I reached my arms around him, knowing it would hurt to bend over to hug me, and held him softly.

"Goodbye, Jack," I said quietly, trying to push back the tears that were already streaming down my face.

"Goodbye, Carmen," He smiled down at me when I pulled away.

"James!" Ben yelled. He tossed him the walkie. "If the island's going down, I'm going down with it," He shrugged.

"Hugo," Jack said, looking to Hurley, "you better get going."

"Huh-uh," Hurley answered, shaking his head. "Now way. You think I'm going down that?" He asked, referring to the ladder. "I'm with you, dude." I looked to Hurley sadly. I hurried to him. He stood and I buried my face in his chest. He held me for a moment.

"This isn't goodbye," Hurley said, sounding just as desperate and sad as me.

"It better not be," I said, knowing fully well that it was. As I let go of him, I forced a small laugh. The three of them hurried off, and we turned and went to the edge of the cliff. Sawyer brought the walkie to his mouth.

"Hey, it's Sawyer, Carmen, and Kate," Sawyer said into it.

"Yeah," I heard someone say back. It wasn't Miles or Lapidus. It sounded like Richard.

"We're on our way down to the sailboat, then we're heading to you. Don't leave without us," Sawyer demanded.

"We're getting' off the ground while there's still ground to get off, so if you wanna go you better get your asses in gear!" I let out a nervous breath.

"Lapidus! Lapidus!" Sawyer yelled into the walkie, to no avail. "Son of a bitch," He mumbled.

"What now?" Kate asked. Sawyer threw away his pack.

"We jump," He said. I looked over the edge of the cliff. It looked possible, if I got a good enough leap away from the rocks, to not die.

"I'll see you at the boat," Kate said, jumping. I watched her hit the water. I threw my gun away from me. Sawyer dove in and I followed, entering the water feet first. I survived the jump and swam to the boat as fast as I could.

* * *

We swam as fast as we could from the boat to the shores of Hydra Island. Kate hurried ahead. I realized she'd seen Claire, who sat depressingly on the beach. I ran ahead to Sawyer and I looked out across the trees to see the plane. A crash behind me sounded out, and I turned to see an entire cliff fall off the island.

"Oh, that ain't good," Sawyer said.

"Come on," I said to Sawyer urgently. I ran to Kate and Claire with him, and looked up when I heard the plane gearing up.

"Come on, we gotta go!" Sawyer screamed. "Come on!" He yelled to Kate.

"Claire, come on, please!" Kate pleaded.

"I can't!" She yelled.

"Why?" Kate screamed.

"Look at me!" Claire cried out desperately. "This island's made me crazy, I don't want Aaron to see me like this! I don't even know how to be a mother anymore!"

"Sweetie, none of us do! At least not at first! But you're not alone! Let me help you," Kate pleaded. I looked up at the plane. It was backing up. They were getting ready to go. I looked to Sawyer, who had the same eager look in his eyes. "Come on. Let's go," Kate said. Claire hopped up quickly. We started forward towards the jungle fast. "Sawyer! Tell them to stop! Tell them we're coming!" Kate yelled.

"Lapidus!" I heard Sawyer yelling into the walkie. No one was answering. I ran faster.

"We have to make them stop!" I screamed. I sprinted through the jungle to the plane. I heard it gearing up and I ran faster. After a moment, I was in the clearing in front of the plane. I flailed my arms over my head. I could hear Sawyer yell behind me. "Stop!" I yelled. I heard the engines powering down a little, and I smiled nervously as I ran to the plane. I hurried to the door of the plane. Miles opened the door. Claire and Sawyer were trailing behind me, carrying Kate. I turned to Kate to let her up first, but Claire hurried up to them first. Richard and Miles lowered a rope netting to us. Sawyer pushed Claire up and then Kate, Miles and Richard helping them both to stand once on pushed me up last. I rushed on board after Miles and Richard helped me to stand. I hurried to the first seat I saw and buckled my seat belt.

"We got them!" Richard called to Frank as Sawyer hurried past me.

"Everybody buckle up!" Frank yelled back to us. "Hold on!" Miles and Richard rushed by me and got into seats. The engines picked up speed so abruptly. I clutched onto the arm rests. I looked out the window in my row, but turned away when I saw the jungle and trees. We pulled up and I felt the wheels leave the ground. When I knew we were in the air, I let out a gasp of air. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I even smiled a little. We were going home. I was finally going home.

* * *

"_Are you ready?" Boone asked me when we reached the doors of the church with Hurley, Shannon and Sayid._

"_I am now," I smiled. He opened the door and we went in. I saw a collection of people in the front of the room. Jin and Sun. Libby. Claire and Charlie. Penny and Desmond. They were all here. I walked ahead and started greeting the people I was so close with, the people I had told stories about. I hugged Sun close to me, as well as Jin. I was so happy to see them all again; I didn't care what my last moments were, or what theirs were. We were together now… that's what mattered. I hugged Kate, smiling at her. I hugged Hurley, knowing I hadn't greeted him properly before._

"_I told you it wasn't goodbye," He smiled. I laughed back._

"_And I suppose it wasn't," I smiled back at him. I hugged Sayid, Shannon, Libby, Desmond, Claire, Charlie, Bernard, Rose… everyone. Sawyer and Juliet came in a little later. I ran to Sawyer when he walked in and hugged him tight._

"_Easy, San Diego," He smiled. I clutched him close to me._

"_You have no idea how much I missed that," I said, smiling. He smoothed my hair with his hand. I turned to Juliet. She smiled widely and opened her arms to me. I hugged her tighter than I ever had in life. When I pulled back, she smiled at me. I let them say hi to others. I saw John and I walked over to him, smiling._

"_I miss you," I said. "The real you."_

"_I missed you too, Carmen," He said. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. I smiled at him, and led him over to Boone. Jack emerged from a back room. I hurried forward and hugged him. I remembered how it felt when I hugged him for the last time; even after all my years, I hadn't forgotten it. Boone hugged Jack, then grabbed my hand._

"_Are you ready?" He asked. I leaned in close to him._

"_Ready as I'll ever be," I smiled. We walked to a pew and sat down. I leaned against his shoulder. Juliet and Sawyer sat next to me. If I had known death was like this, I never would have been afraid of it. A light flooded through the church as Christian opened the doors. It felt warm and comforting. I relaxed into it, my fingers laced in Boone's._

"_I love you," I said one last time to him. He turned his head and looked down at me._

"_I love you," He replied. He reached down to me and kissed me softly. As we pulled apart, the light engulfed us._

* * *

(Fifty Two Years Later)

I lay in my hospital bed, my grandchild in my arms. My children all sat around me, some light chatter filling the room. Most of them were silent, though. I think they were all afraid of what was about to happen.

"Grandma?" Katie asked me.

"Yes?" I responded, looking down at my granddaughter.

"Why didn't you ever get married?" She asked me. I looked to Jack.

"Katie..." Jack started.

"No, Jack, it's fine. I had to tell you when you were little. I can tell her," I smiled. He leaned back in his chair. "Katie… I fell in love once."

"You did?" She asked.

"I did," I responded, lifting my shaking fingers to my necklace. "He gave me this necklace. And he was everything to me. But he died… he died trying to save me."

"Save you?" She asked. I didn't know how to explain.

"Yes," I smiled.

"Grandma? Can you tell me another story? About the island?" Katie asked. "Make it one with Kate in it." I smiled.

"You always want a story with Kate in it," I smiled. She giggled. "Alright… well one time, Kate heard that Jack was stuck in a cave. She ran down the mountain as fast as she could to save Jack and his friends. What she didn't know was that Jack and his friends could save themselves. They dug their way out of the cave a different way, and they all snuck up on Kate and everyone else trying to dig them out."

"That's funny," Katie giggled out. I chuckled a little, but a coughing spell followed. "Grandma? Did Kate live happily ever after?" I hesitated. In reality, Kate had never really moved on from Jack. But she was content with playing Aunt to Aaron.

"Yes. Yes she did," I said, not sure if I was lying. "Katie, why don't you go with Aunt Julie to get something to eat?" Jack asked. Katie kissed my forehead, then hurried off with my youngest daughter. Jack sat closer to me.

"You know what's funny?" Jack asked. "Four adopted kids and a grandkid later, that story is exactly the same as it was when I was a little boy." I smiled. "Mom… I was right, wasn't I?" I remembered back to when Jack showed me information about the Oceanic Six, and how they all disappeared. I smiled. He accused me of being on the flight, especially since Kate from all my stories looked just like the Kate from the survivors, as did my Sayid, Jack, Sun and Hurley. I got mad at him then, but I had to come clean. He deserved the truth.

"Yes," I said. "Yes, you were." Jack began to cry and he grabbed my hand. My other children stepped forward. "Just listen," I said to them all before they could pummel me with questions. "I was sixteen years old when I left Australia, looking for my baby. My parents took her from me, and gave her to another family. I had been looking for her for such a long time... and I found out she was in Los Angeles. My plane crashed that day. Your Uncle Sawyer was there with me… the whole time. He took care of me. I met the man that I loved there. And I held his hand while he died. I lost some of my best friends… I made some of my best friends. And when I got back, I had to start fresh… pretend it never happened." Something was changing in me. It was time- I could feel it. "But it did," I smiled. I felt tears welling up in me. "And it made me who I am." I felt calm, like I was being taken away by the current of a river. "Every story I ever told you... was true."

"Mom?" Charlie asked me, grabbing my other hand. My speech was slowing... I could feel my pulse slowing.

"I love you all so much," I smiled, letting out a deep breath. "But it's time for me to go." I felt it coming over me quickly. I was slipping away.

"Mom, don't talk like that," Libby insisted. Their voices sounded further away.

"This… isn't goodbye," I smiled. I didn't close my eyes, but the world around me faded and dimmed until it was gone completely.

**My goodness, it's over. I really want to cry… I just realized how long I've been working on this, and what this story has taken me through. Also, watching the finale makes me blubber like a big baby every time. Let me know what I should write next! Thank you again for reading, and remember; this isn't goodbye. :)**


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